THE POPPING OF THE CHERRY

I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing style.

With the boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a trash bin. He's non recyclable catching number.

I love being love, I love love. On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are discussing when we both lost our virginity and at what ages.

We will also be sharing some of our top tips for your first time.

Stay tuned to hear about our first time and whether we wish we had waited or it was the perfect timing.

Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more.

Hey Matt, how are you?

I'm crud? How are you anna? What's been going on.

At the moment? I'm upset with Love Island UK. I know you haven't watched it, but I've been telling you to watch it because it's so good.

What makes it good? Then? How is it any different from ours?

Like?

I know everyone says the UK is way better than the Australian one. What do they do that's different to us?

The UK is way better. There's just so much more drama. They just capture attention the whole time. I think sometimes the Australian one can be a little boring.

I think that where what I find is everyone's too conscious of what people think in the outside world, and they're not ready to be themselves or willing to be themselves.

Yeah, for sure.

Do you not get PTSD though? When that text message whence goes off? I got it came on the It came on the radio the other day and I was driving and I literally felt the coldest fucking shiver down in the back of my spine, and I was like, Oh, they like doing an ad for it.

It's really good, Matt. I think you should watch it. But how are you going? Jen is away at the moment.

Yeah, so Jen's having her little girl's trip with her best friend in Tasmania.

Yeah.

No, you look to be honest. The first night I was fine. Like first night, I was fine. I've been hanging to watch Stranger Things. She doesn't watch Stranger Things, so I flicked that on. Ye got into Stranger Things self care. Yeah, but In the meantime, I cooked a steak. I've had sam and I've just had a lot of meat while she's been away as well. But yeah, so I mean treating myself like that. But I think it's more like the last two nights, I was like sort

I saw a stat recently and it said that you sleep thirty percent better when you have a partner sleeping beside you, and I totally agree with that. Like I sleep way better with Michael sleeping beside me.

Well, i'd had some rough nights sleep up to when she left, so I was like, oh, she's gone, I'll have a week off. Maybe we'll see how it goes. It was no different, So I think I was sleeping better when she was there.

Oh so you're sleeping rough at the moment.

Yeah, I don't know what's happening. I don't know, like just a thousand things on my mind.

I don't know, just anxiety.

Yeah, I can't switch it off at the moment.

Yeah, well, you know what I have actually been hearing from Matt a lot recently, Like my phone has been blowing up way more, and I did expect it, Like we have spoken about this, I was kind of like preparing myself.

Well, I spoke to gen and I was like, Hey, we've hardly spoke because obviously she's busy away I'm busy, and we've actually spoke less than when we're like together. But I think it's good. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, So I can't wait to give her a cuddle when she comes back. Tell you what I'm really excited for though, when she comes back.

Yeah, this is.

Probably the longest I've been without having sex.

I knew you were going to bring it.

So when she comes back, I'm going to be like a kid on Christmas morning. I reckon, it's going to be like I'm losing my opportunity for the first time again. I'm going to be so excited.

Well, look, that's a great segue into today's episode. We talked all things losing your virginity.

Let's jump in, So we're talking about losing a virginity today. Anna, do you remember when you first had the Birds and the Bees chat? Who gave you that chat?

When I got my first ever birds in the bee's chat, I had no idea about any of this, Like I didn't know what sex was. I think I must have been like nine. I think I was too young in hindsight, And I remember it must have been late at night, so it was dark. My mum was driving in the car and she just like brought up the subject of the birds and the bees and started like telling me about sex and like all of this stuff and how everything works. And I just remember saying, why are you saying this?

It was your brother, There was no.

It was just the two of us, and I was just so confused, and it was like I think I went into like shock and denial, like I was like, this can't be happening, This can't be real, Like you know when you get really cringed out. I don't think I had experienced feeling cringed out to that level. And I was just like, Mum, please stop, like stop talking, like this is so awkward. Why are you saying that?

Well? How did you know that it was awkward? Though? Like I don't know what.

It was uncomfortable, Like intuitively, at nine years old, I was like this feels wrong, Like stop talking.

I don't remember the bees and the birch chat, but we were chatting about this before. And I remember the first time though, I started having those sexual feelings. My mum touched on it when she was in here. She said that I took out of the mail box bras and things catalog and I hit it in the garage and I remember like flicking through it. Obviously I was too young to know exactly what I was feeling, but I knew I was feeling. But now I know what

No, do you know what you're saying? That story has kind of reminded me. I think. A couple of years after my mum had the awkward birds and the bees talk with me, I was doing a school project and everyone got to choose an animal, and I chose the fox because I was, like, you know, I lived in the UK at the time. We used to see them sometimes on the country roads.

Felt foxy anyway.

I was like the Internet was very new at the time. I was doing some research type tin www dot foxes, dot co dot uk, and like a porn site came up, and like like I was like an innocent child trying to do some research, thinking like the native fox was gonna come up, and I got some like older women naked and the sexy like bondage lingerie and I will never forget it. And I was like delete search is to delete dolt.

I remember with a mate, very young as well, actually going on there because obviously back in those days of the house had one computer and it was in like the study and I remember going on there and typing in like porn just pawn or sex or yeah books, yeah, and like looking at what came up. And then I obviously were too young to realize what clear history was.

Well, so he saw the search history saw them yeah, and blocked well.

I never brought up it was ever brought to my attention. But yeah, it's all blocked, and we were just like, damn it, if.

Your dad's listening, that's good parenting right there.

Yeah, stopping your twelve or thirteen year old son from looking at naked women.

Your internet porn was blocked. But when did you actually do the deed and have sex?

Okay, So when I first lost my virginity, I was fourteen ish. Maybe I know I was young. My girlfriend at the time was two years older than me, I think, so like she was older, she was sixteen, she was around sixteen.

She was an older woman. Well, you know me, he does love as old. That's quite young. I know we've spoken about this. Yeah, I find that quite young.

Oh fucking I had no idea what I was doing. I guess you just did the school yard. Was you had a girlfriend like you have X?

Really at fourteen, I was like, we can hold hands and like that's a big deal.

Yeah, maybe I was in a different crowd, but yeah, that was sort of like what the thing was.

So tell us about the time.

We obviously were like experimenting, doing all the other bases, all the other stuff that come with it, and then we were actually at her house. We were in her study. I remember her old man was on night duty, so he was asleep upstairs. We're just on the study floor and sort of one thing led to another and then.

Yeah, your first time was on the floor, like, not on a bed, yeah, like no pillows, No, you just like both naked on a study And.

I honestly had no idea what we were doing. I didn't even know what sex was.

And calf it them.

I don't even think there was thrust anything.

I love it. How I go to like health and safety.

No, we just had Yeah, just did the deed for what we thought was the deed, and then I didn't have sex again after that for maybe two years till I was like sixteen. It was just because you had a girlfriend. That was sort of the deal, the dumb thing. Yeah, like you've just been dating what for six months? Isn't that what happens?

So you guys were dating for six months? What were you like thirteen when you started going out? That's young?

Yeah, pretty young, Yeah, like you're eight something like that. Eh, How old were you then when you lost your virginity?

I don't know, So I was seventeen. I had a boyfriend for about three months and it was actually the day before I turned eighteen, because in my like warped brain at the time, I was like, I don't want to be an eighteen year old virgin, which you know, I've said it before. There's nothing wrong with me a virgin and at eighteen, whatever age you are, but yeah, I was just like seventeen. I had a boyfriend. We had gone to a party. He was older, so he had a car, so we were kind of like having

We did the deed, that was it downstairs.

I think he might have stayed with me until like five am, put a five am alarm on, and then snuck back down.

Anything like that, Like.

It kind of makes it fun, though, when you're young, like it's kind of fun sneaking around, it's Annoying's annoying when you have to wake up at five am.

But well, my mum always said that, like, it's going to happen. You guys are going to do that stuff in a car park, bench, wherever you can find, a house, party, wherever you can find somewhere to do it. So she was always real comfortable with us doing like having people sleepover in the same bed as us. She's thought it would be better they're under her roof in a comfortable position. Got to study floor.

So what do you think is the average age that Australians lose their virginity map sixteen clothes you don't have another guess seventeen. Yeah, yeah, seventeen. So the average Australian loses their virginity at seventeen. Also, New Zealand dos lose

That's interesting. That's a twenty three, that must be waiting for the right opportunity.

Well yeah, and like you know, sometimes culturally there are different things that stop people from having sex.

When you're saying before you want to be a virgin at eighteen, yeah, yeah, that is a warped way thinking about it, Like there's no pressure, and what's what pressures come with it? Like what made you think that?

Well, I mean I think there definitely is societal pressures that make you feel like around that age is the right time. Like everyone's kind of doing it. It's kind of like a life stage in a way, like people get their period and then it's like Okay, we've ticked that box. Now it's the next life stage, Like yeah, lease your virginity, go to UNI or go do this

Or you're curious, yeah, serious at what it's like.

And I think, like I started getting really interested at boys, probably at about seventeen, And I think once I had sex, I kind of you know, what do they call it, dixand you get the Dixand's brain where you just like what where you start thinking about like boys all the time, and it's like you get really excited.

I've never heard that expression before in my life, Dick Sand, Do you mean just thirsty?

No? No, Like you know, hormones start going very crazy at that age, and I think once you've had sex, it really like kicks that up a notch and kicks them into gear. And then it's just like, you know, I was less interested in school and way more interested in boys all of a sudden, which I think a lot of people can relate to.

Imagine if you had waited then just a little longer, maybe you're graduating school into school a little hard, a little bit high, you wouldn't have Dick sand or whatever that is.

I have a question, do you regret losing your virginity at fourteen?

I don't live with regrets, but.

If you could do it again.

Yeah, I probably would have done it properly when I was a little bit older, Yeah, and had a little bit more like know what I was doing, I mean experience, yeah, life experience. I mean it was awfully young. Yeah, so I don't regret it, but I would do it again, yeah probably, yeah, hundred percent. Yeah, a hundred percent would do it again.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's interesting because studies revealed that thirty one percent of people regret how they lost their virginity, and that same study revealed that women are far more likely than men to regret their first sexual experience. I mean, I think the reason for that is because, I mean I can only talk for me and my friendship group, but it was a pretty big deal for us to lose our virginity. And I know not everyone's like that, but I was, like, I want to have sex with the right guy. I

Well, for our listeners listening, would you say, if they have a checklist and they want to go by it, they should keep it there, but realize that it's never actually going to go down as perfectly as they think when they have sex. Yeah, for the.

First time for sure, And I want to jump into that next Matt, So let's see that. Okay, So we have some insider tips for losing your v cards. If you've already lost your virginity, you know how important these steps are. So the first one is to prepare. So birth control is so important. We need to protect ourself not only from having kids, but also from seds. They're so prevalent and there's so many that you can catch, so it's always important to be safe.

Do you remember being well, you were obviously did, But I remember being like a young boy going into the cat roastuff with like condoms and like a couple of other things just to distract away from the couple of red bulls try to distract the fact that this condoms there like this.

I remember, so I had sex with my first boyfriend and we obviously used a condom. My ex boyfriend had obviously put the condom in the toilet bin, and my mum was so snoopy that she'd like gone through the bin, oh, found the condom, and then was like, came to me and was like, do you want to take a seat, And I was like, sure, did she have it? No, No, she wasn't holding it. She obviously saw it and was just like whatever. And then she was like, Okay, So

Well that's it, and that's what we say. Everyone used protection.

Yeah, and you know, we were young. And so then I guess my mum was like, and now that I know, now that I've snooped through the bin and found the condom, the youth condom, I think you should go on birth control. So I actually didn't go on birth control pre having sex for the first time, but yeah, we would highly encourage birth control.

Talk to your friends and family beforehand. Ask them for advice. Maybe you might have an older sibling, Yeah, maybe if you've got close relationship with your parents, ask them, a cousin, anyone, just to get some tips as well from someone that you feel comfortable around.

Yeah, and like, it's never nice to go into any situation blind, whether it be like an interview or whatever, your first time sex. But yeah, talk to your friends, talk to people who have had sex, ask them about it, do your research. I think it's always important. Knowledge is power, right, Yes, this one is a huge one. Understand consent. If at any time you're having sex and you want to stop,

And also when you have your first time. This doesn't go to everyone, but this compstens to people that are a bit This is one of probably on their checklist. Of things. Have sex for the first time someone you trust, Yeah, like a boyfriend or a friend, someone that makes you feel comfortable and you feel comfortable in the situation. I know a lot of girl slash friends that would prefer to have had it and did have it with someone random, so it wasn't as like intimate, do you know what

Did, so they just check their box.

Yeah, and then when they so they had well, how did I put this experience or they were like sort of training for when they did have like a partner or someone they loved, they did it, So yeah, it goes either way, but it's what they prefer.

Well, like the first time is a learning experience, like you can't say it's not like you're definitely kind of navigating your way through like your body someone else's body, kind of figuring out how it works. I know for a girl for the first time, or at least from my experience, like there was no like I wasn't peaking, like I didn't come. It was just kind of like, okay, we did the deed and like that was it cool? Like they did.

I didn't imagine now.

I'd be filthy. I'd be like, get to work.

And on that. There are a lot of extra body fluids, so don't stress. This is normal.

Yeah, obviously there's a hymen that can potentially break if you have sex, but a lot of the time girls don't bled like you can break it. I don't know. Horse riding, I don't know.

That's like such a class.

There's such a typical first thing that came to my or gymnastics. But you know what I mean, Like you can literally like jump in the air and it could break. So like I don't know, Like I don't fucking I'm not like an excerpt on the hymen breaking. But for me, when I had sex for the first time, like there was no blood, but like at the end of the day, like it is normal, and like if there is a little bit of blood like to be expected, and if there's not, like it doesn't mean that you weren't a virgin.

Everyone's different.

Everyone is different.

Massive one an I'll let you take the floor on this point. And I always say this. I always say this to girls.

Okay, so this one is and this one is something that I did not know and I wish I knew is peeing after sex. It's a huge one. It reduces your chances of getting a urinary tracked infection. I honestly go through stages where I become the UTI queen. I cannot get rid of them. They're so annoying.

I just love a cuddle afterwards.

I frock the cutofs not getting up. I'm taking my time, and then later I'm like, fuck that cuddle. I should have just got up and paid. But yeah, definitely like weing after sex also, just like showering also helps me. Or putting some water on the area is just like good to you're out some of the bacteria because we fucking hate euti is the most annoying thing. If you've ever had one, you know, they're literally the bane of my existence. Have you had one before, Matt.

No, I don't think so. It's just like I've got urinal stashed away in the top drawer.

Ural. Yeah, mural is like heaven if you've had a euti, you know, But it's just like imagine like going to the bathroom and then like ten seconds later you just have this burning urge to pee. Yeah, oh, so you have had one?

I've had one.

Yeah, UTAs are the worst, and protect yourself against them at allcarf all right.

Also, don't forget four play.

Yeah, four play is important. I think it takes a woman thirty five minutes to really warm up. Yeah, so imagine like if you'll like start making out in ten minutes later, you're all done. Like that woman's not even a third of the way to being properly turned off.

I tell Jen get ready because he's four plays getting square rooted, you're getting sixteen played?

You talking about. I don't even know what you're saying.

Sixteen is a square root? Isn't it a four? So four play play on words not the only thing getting rooted tonight?

Four place, get bits slater the market.

All right, have sex in a comfortable place. Don't be me having in a comfortable place obviously if you're not accessible to a bed, obviously a car will supply us like Anna or anywhere else. Use lubricants and try different positions. If the album one isn't working, missionary or whatever you're in, try something else. You might feel better in that way.

Yeah, And sometimes, like when you have sex, it can feel uncomfortable or hurt. If it does just like get into a new position, try something else, switch it up, and like.

We said before, it's your first time, you're literally it's training, it's practice. You know what you like it.

Okay, Matt, did you know that more and more young people are actually abstaining from sex?

Oh? Really?

So? There was a study done and no less than twenty seven percent of fifteen to twenty four year old men have never actually had any form of sexual contact. Meanwhile, twenty nine percent of females in that age bracket have never had sex. But the survey did find that almost everyone between the ages of twenty five to forty four has had sex. So that's about ninety eight percent of females and ninety seven percent of males in that range.

So if you're in between those ages and you haven't had sex yet, don't feel like an outcast or anything before your friends are. It's very common these days for sure.

And if you are a virgin, valid at your own personal choices. It is your choice. You make that decision when you feel comfortable. Just understand that there really is no rush. It's everyone does things in their own time, for sure.

Anna, And just also make sure you understand your worth there's no shame around not having sex at a certain age. Just when you're ready. You are ready, like you said, for sure.

We have actually asked our Where's your Head at fam Matt about their first time experiences and their stories, so we've picked a few. Some of these are hilarious. I've had to read through, Matt has it.

Yeah, you've been telling me how funny they are on the drive in, So let's see how they go.

Okay, So one girl has written in and said, my first time was next to a railway track next to a dead bird. Not ideal. That's actually so gross, Like wouldn't the dead bird smell? And would you be like, is this like a bad like dick smell?

Yeah? Did she notice before and was like fuck it, let's just do it? Or did she notice halfway through? Because I'm not sure. If I noticed the dead bird halfway through, that would definitely throw me off.

Would you lose the will to keep going?

Yeah, that definitely throw me off? Who am I kidding? You'd be like?

Okay. Another listener has written in and said I bought condoms that were actually menthol ones. It was fine, but when he finished, he suddenly screamed as the menthol reacted badly with his semen and he whipped the condom off, but as he did it, the condom hit me in the face, so I got covered in it. I couldn't decide whether to laugh or cry. That was my first time. Check the condoms kids.

Nice little, nice little recommendation there from.

Just getting a face full of it on your first time. It's just like it's too much.

That has happened to people.

Much too much. I feel terrible with this girl. Yeah, this is my personal favorite, and this is the final one.

Okay.

My boyfriend walked me past his parents, who smiled at me, straight into his room, which was candlelit and his bed was covered in rose petals. All I could think about was his parents smiling at me.

What would you do if your boyfriend walked you past and you're in that situation, I.

Would fucking die because the parents clearly know what's about to happen.

Well on that my mum always used to joke and say she knew and I was having company because I would light my mood candles, which were some salted caramelf. So I was downstairs on the other side of the house, but it would run through the air vents and then they could smell it in the rest of the house because I'd have two salted Kara wolves on both bedside tables. So she'd be like, well, I know you had company last night, and that's so funny. So maybe that's what

Okay, guys, it's that time of the show where you guys find out where our heads are at.

Let's get into it. Okay. So our first question from our listener comes in and it says, it will be my first time having sex, and I am scared to tell the boy I'm seeing because I worry he would judge me for not having sex earlier. Should I tell him or just fake it and hope he doesn't know.

I definitely think honesty is the best policy. You know, if it's your first time, you kind of want someone to be aware so that they can maybe be a bit more gentle and like, you know, it is important losing your virginity, so you want them to know so that they treat it as such.

So or a male perspective on that being the guy. Honestly, I don't think it will change his thoughts on you at all. No, honestly that he wants to have sex, so he doesn't care if it's your first time. He actually, you know what, he might even be a bit more. Some guys do find that a bit more attractive if it's a girls first time, so he might actually be a bit more turned on by that.

Do you think as a guy, if you know it's a girl's first time, that you'd be a bit more like careful with them?

Men, I would be, yeah, one hundred percent, so they're okay, Yeah, I'd be a lot more understanding that it's a big milestone in their life and try walk them through it.

Have you taken anyone's virginity?

Yeah? I've taken quite a few, have you.

Yeah, I've never taken anyone's virginity. Really, it was actually on the bucket list and it's now dead and gone in the water. But I remember growing up being like, I wonder if I'll take anyone's virginity, because like, obviously it was such a big moment for me.

But yeah, if they would tell you though, if it was their virginity, as a guy, I don't think I would.

I just always went for older guys and they were always very experienced, so like it just it was never going to happen.

I'm never saying never. They might be.

Okay. The next listener has said, I really regret my first time I had it with a jerk that I went to school with and was pressured into doing it because my best friend had at the time. Is there anything I can do to eliminate the guilt or disappointment I have for losing it in the wrong way to the wrong person.

No, I don't think there is. I think that you've had sex, like you've just got to accept that, and I guess look at the positive side of what happened with it. You got to have sex, like if there was any good bits of.

It, like yeah, like, look, it's not ideal if he was a jerk. It's a learning curve, it's a learning experience. Take it from what it was, and I think, like, you know, embrace that time that you first have sex with someone where it was amazing, like that first time where you know your mind was blown and you were like, fuck, that was great sex.

I hate that people feel pressured into doing it as well. I just hate that sort of culture and that's what a mentality let me to.

And also one other thing I would say to that girl as well, is thirty percent of people, as we mentioned before, actually do regret their first time. So you know know that you're not alone. A lot of people do regret it. And you know what, we're young, we make bad decisions. And as long as you learn from those decisions.

Exactly and see the red flags that made him a jerk and for future guys that come along, and then maybe you can say no, it's not going to happen with you, buddy, buddy, not today.

Okay, guys, thank you so much for listening to our podcast. We love having this growing, amazing community. We really appreciate you guys as always, keep on top of our socials, be involved in our podcast, and make sure you give us a five star review because we are still a growing podcast. So until next time, say yae, I love you,