I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.
She how do I put this?
Isn't a fan of my kissing style.
With boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a trash bin. He's non recyclable, catching him.
Mut I loved being love. I love love.
On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are super excited to welcome to the studio Matt hay Or, as he is better known Alright.
Hey. Matt is a podcaster, comedian, entertainer, and self confess glamors on.
We can't wait to ask him about his tall, his podcast, how he comes up with his content for TikTok and Instagram, and what he has planned for the future.
Stick around to hear some of these hilarious stories.
Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.
This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, much more.
Hey Matt, Welcome to the podcast.
Welcome to Thanks for having me.
I met you, actually was it last year? I can't even remember. The yous just kind of like muddled together at the moment we did the Master Chef event together and I met you there and I thought you were so funny. I was like, this guy is amazing.
Oh my god, you are so right about everything, just mushing together. I tried to find a photo from that day, from that shot that we did, and I felt like I was scrolling on my camera role and years to try and figure out when that was. Yeah, time is just a blur these days. There's so much going on. But it was so fun and yeah, I loved meeting you too. It was it was. It was a great day.
Yeah, for sure.
Well I have to ask you, Matt. I went on Instagram to do some research on you, obviously because you're coming onto the podcast, but I can find you. Have you blocked me?
Oh really?
I mean I mean maybe I've look a lot of straight men, so it's very very Usually after I sleep with them.
It's very Is that what happened? I don't literally, because what happened? Anna sent me some sent me.
I sent that some funny clips of you, and he's like, I can't see them.
Really, yeah, So I was like.
I've got your right here? Is that you?
That's they go.
We genuinely like, look, that's yeah. But then look at mine it says not available. Your stuff's not available.
Wow.
Oh that's not good. I don't know why. Maybe I'm like shadow band at the moment.
No, like, yeah, everyone else around you, my burner account could find you, but that actual account.
That's input on the blocklist.
Yeah wow.
Yeah.
Before we before together on here, I was like, Anna, maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should and being on this one, maybe you take this one. I think he's got it. I'm not welcome here.
No, that's actually that is actually a mystery. That's a conspiracy theory because no, definitely haven't blocked you. So I don't know what's happened there. But maybe if maybe if I follow you, it all all work.
DMS and see what happens that wants to be friends, I will do.
Did you I followed you? Now check what happened. See if it comes up nothing, Well, maybe you've blocked me?
No, like did I? I was like, why would I block him? I was like, And then I went through my block list and you weren't there. I was. I was like, what the fuck is going on?
It's a Mysteryna and I you might have blocked me because NNA and I hit it off on that day at Master Chef. We had such a good time together and you were just so down to earth and so fabulous and so funny and out of everyone there, like we probably like connected the best.
Like I was like, yeah, she's a cool chick.
So, Matt, you probably got jealous and saw me on the stories and blocked me.
Going to take the spot.
I'm the only man in Anna's life.
Wow, that's fine. That's an confusing one, huh.
I have to ask you, because your outfits are just so fabulous, who is your style icon for me?
It because it's probably like I take a lot of inspiration and always have throughout my life from.
Specifically Lady Gaga.
I feel like she very much changed the game in terms of fashion in the music industry. We all know like before her, everyone was wearing jeans on a red carpet and then Lady Gaga comes out in an egg and everyone's like, we need to top this. And so Lady Gaga when I was younger, was definitely my style icon.
I feel like these days, I don't really have to much of a style icon.
I feel like I've found my own style in a way, and I know exactly like what looks flattering on my body and exactly what works. And that's kind of what I run with. And I get my outfits for my shows and things and big, big things like that master Chef's shoot, that dress that I wore with all the sunglasses on it. I get all of those custom made
because one as a fat and fabulous person. As someone who is fat, like, it's harder for me to shop obviously, because not one size doesn't fit all, and so getting something custom made, just like you know, getting it measured to my proportions and things like that and making it fit like a glove is something that I started doing last year and it's absolutely changed everything.
And I feel like I've found my own style in that totally.
I reckon that you're a lot of people's style icons.
I was about to say that, yeah, yeah, probably yeah.
Speaking of your show, you are on tour at the moment. You do stand up comedy.
Yeah, well, I don't know whether I do stand up comedy, but I do a comedy show. Look, here's the thing. I yeah, I'm on tour right now. I'm in Adelaide, Adelaide Fringe. Oh my goodness, Sol, I'm so tired it's only a half an hour time difference from Sydney.
I feel jet lagged. Jet lagged.
Yeah, you did get the timing wrong for this. You might mention that you were coming.
I mean, it's hard later.
I know, it's only just hit.
We were meant to start recording at eleven o'clock it's only just hit eleven o'clock now.
I only woke up a tenth.
So you're not late.
No, exactly right.
I actually was early as far as early, but I don't call them stand up comedy shows because they're not. They're very much tailored to my following. Obviously, a lot of people who are coming to the shows I've been I've been doing social media and stuff for about eight years now, and a lot of the people who are coming to my shows and people who are follow me for a very long time, they kind of know my story and they know the ins and outs, and so
it's very much tailored to them. And there's personal jokes about my journey, like talking about fashion and fashion icons as a whole section in the show about how when I was first starting out, I was kind of like too poor to buy any outfits for a red carpet and I wasn't famous enough that people wanted to dress me, and so I had to make my own outfits, like go down to Kma and Spotlight and Bummings and buy all these things and then put them all on an
outfit and walk the red carpet. Look at a million bucks, but like for twenty two dollars fifty, you know.
And so I tell a.
Lot of stories like that and stories from throughout my life, and it's very much tailored to my audience. Look, it's a funny show. Everybody laughs. But is it stand up comedy? I don't know, but I'm having a bloody good time doing it whatever it is.
Do you have any any advice to anyone that's wanting to get into the stand up it's not stand by the stay entertainment. Yeah, the stand up world. Who wants to get up on stage and tell jokes to people make them laugh, Well.
I have some advice.
But also the way that I kind of fell into it was kind of weird and kind of random, because you know, for most people, if you want to start in comedy, you find your local comedy club, and there's plenty of them in major cities. I don't know about like smaller regional places, but in major cities there's all these hidden like comedy bars and just on a Tuesday,
they just have like open mic nights. And look, when I started, I did a lot of research and like just just sat there and pretty much watched people over and over and over it and kind of picked up on different things, because I mean, stand up comedy kind of is like an art form in that you have to talk a certain way or put a certain things in, and you have to know when to pause to let the audience know it's okay to laugh, and it's all very structured. It's it's kind of funny how it all works.
And so I watched a lot of Joan Rivers. Yeah, I love Joan Rivers, and she definitely isn't my style of comedy.
She was much worse.
She got away with a lot of things that I could never say, but she was really hilarious. And I kind of watched how because I feel like for her, she's one of the greatest comics of all time. And the way that an audience just watched Joan Rivers and was so enthralled by her and no matter what she said, they were laughing at. That's really kind of like what I what I want from That's what everybody wants from
an audience if you want to do comedy. So yeah, if you're starting out, go to those small little comedy bars and things like that. They do open mark nights where anyone can get on stage and have a go and see how it goes. For me, I have to say though, I never did that. I just kind of blew up on social media and then I was approached by my tour manager and he was like, hey, you should do live shows, ding ding ding money, money money, And I was like, yeah, right, I.
Let's do it before your first one. Then obviously if you hadn't.
My god and I still get nerve.
Yeah, they reckon. Once you stop getting nervous, it means you don't care, so it's probably a good time. Yeah nervous, Okay.
Well I the very first time, here we go. We'll take you through it. The first night that I did, I did a comedy show. It was at Sydney Comedy Festival and this was last year and I thought, you.
Know, this is my first time doing a show, so I didn't really know how it works.
So I did a full glam moment like bold blue and black smoky eye.
I had like three or four vodka Red.
Bulls beforehand to pop myself up, and then when I got on stage, I was so sweaty from the alcohol and the hot lights that my makeup started melting down my face and I was just crying.
Black and blue mascara all down my neck.
I remember getting on stage looking in the mirror and it's like gone down my neck into my dress.
And I learnt very quickly no alcohol before my show.
So I now do not have a drop of alcohol before my shows because that obviously makes you a little bit warmer.
And also my.
Makeup that I now do is very very basic because I don't want to have any mishaps with the sweat and things like that. And I've learned along the way. I now have a towel on stage so that I can dab my forehead if I am getting sweaty. I have like a water I have, you know, show notes and things like that. So because I am still learning, like I think in Adelaide, this is only my like five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, Like last night was only my tenth show ever. Tomorrow, yeah,
tonight it will be my eleventh. So it's only my eleventh time on stage doing this.
You're so confident. I mean, we were watching the pinned video on your socials, the famous video of you pretending to be in jail with the soap bar I'm bending down. It's just so funny, Like I reckon, I've watched it like twenty times. It's so hilarious. I was like, look at this, it's hilarious.
I obviously haven't seen it for obvious reasons.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm like so out of like that joke and how well that did on social media.
It was so good.
It was good.
Yeah, I'm really glad. How do you think of your material? Then? How how does it come to you? Do you like brainstorm? Do you take a sexual joke?
Well, I mean for me, it was a really long process. I really struggled last year with writing the show. The fun fact is actually before the pandemic, we did plan to do one show and then the pandemic hit, so we had to cancel that, give everybody back their money. And then two years later we put on six shows in Sydney that sold out. So that's just the showing the growth that I had during the pandemic. Demic on
social media. And for me, I had been writing the show since twenty nineteen in a way, and so I kind of knew what I wanted to do, and then when I sat down and wrote it, it's very much I already knew what I wanted to do with my I wanted to make them very cohesive, have a start, a middle, and an end, also have a bit of a message to the show as well. And so I guess, I guess I can talk about that because the show's over. This is the last time I'm ever going to do
these shows in Adelaide. Because basically the theme of the show is fake it till you make it, and I tell these stories from throughout my life of times I faked it, like going back to the Arias and making my own outfit that looks a.
Million bucks, but it cost me twenty bucks.
You know, And so all these stories throughout my life of times I had to use this fake it till you make it method. And then at the end, I kind of say, you know, during the pandemic, I had this moment to myself, which is all true, that I really had this this kind of epiphany, this out of body experience, whatever you want to call it where I kind of looked at this fake it till you make it method that I've been using my whole life, and I was like, where's it gotten me.
It's gotten me nowhere, you know.
And so from that day forward, I decided to live authentically and be authentically myself. And then it's funny, how like my life's done a one eighties since then, and suddenly all these new opportunities and fabulous things are happening, and you know, you have like this little message in the show, which is like, once you stop faking it, that's when you start to make it.
Wow, because I really believe that.
That's like what happened in my life is like once I started being authentic, that's when people connected with me. And that's when I started to really kill it on social media. And so yeah, there's like a whole kind of storyline to the show, and it's not all serious.
It's very funny. There's a lots of things that go wrong and whatnot.
But writing the show is definitely one of the hardest things I've ever done, especially just trying to cut it down. I had so much content, but you're only allowed to be on stage for like an hour tops, and so your show needs to be about forty five minutes to allow for all things going wrong or chatter with the audience or whatever, and so condensing it down was so hard.
But I will say that this time.
Around the new tour, fat and fabulous it is. I definitely am like, there's no issue with keeping that short and sweet. Like I now know how it works.
It's all good. I can keep it short and sweet.
You said a lot of the audience are your following base, So do you get any hecklers or are they just like.
Well, I say at the start of the show, like, if you don't like the show, I don't want to hear about it, you know, And I say, you know, if you don't like the show, we are welcome to get up and leave.
I literally couldn't give a shit.
I've already spent your money, you're not getting a refund.
You're not getting a refund, So doesn't.
Bother me, you know, I get up and leaveter ill still get paid at the end of the day. So it's about, you know, just controlling your audience in a way to kind of set that boundary and say I don't want to hear your opinion. I couldn't give a shit. You're here to watch me, you know, And it becomes a funny joke in the show as well. I have had a few people yell out and I just say things like, excuse me, darling, it's my show, not yours.
You know on that anyone walk out, well.
I haven't noticed them. If they have, but I mean maybe I.
Was going to say they're walking out, doesn't.
Make Yeah, I don't know, like I've never had anyone walk out that I've noticed, but I mean potentially some people have.
We had someone walk out of our live show. We did a live show. It was this this guy who was told that our show was a strip show. So he we got on stage. She was expecting Matt and I to be naked. Ten minutes in, he realized it wasn't happening anytime soon because we were having a little chat and he rolled on out.
This scene the oldest man front row as well.
Well, it takes wears your head out to a whole new level.
Well that's what we're saying that he was expecting a different type of head. Has there been a moment speaking of faking it till you make it? Has there been a moment where you've thought, fuck, I've really made it here.
Well, I talk about that in the show as well, because it's kind of funny. I say, like, that's when you start to make it, and you know, everyone usually collaps and goes WHOA when I go, well, hang on, Dale, I'm not there yet, Like I'm playing to one hundred and fifty people in a dingy venue in the middle of so and so, you know, wait till i've someone out of stadium.
Or something like that.
And so even when you know you pretend that you've made it, you still got to take the piss out of you a little bit, because no one wants to go to a comedy show and hear an inspirational story. Really.
But yeah, I don't.
Know, Like I mean, there's been times throughout my life that I definitely have like pinched me moments, But I don't know whether I've had a moment where I've gone old, MG, I've made it. I feel like that that moment is probably coming in the next couple of years. There's been some exciting conversations happening over the last few months and whatnot. So you know, I have my career goals I have my career things that I'm manifesting, and hopefully when I take a few of those off, I'll be able to
say I could make it. But then again, does anyone ever really make it? Because I feel like we can have everything we want and say we've made it, and we still want more.
So maybe it's a case of.
That talk about that that you need to stop sometimes and maybe like smell the roses because we're always thinking about, like, what's the next.
Thing that celebrate the small weird And I guess like the goal is always happiness over anything.
Yeah, is what we do. Yeah, but then money is good and killing to the top is fun as well.
But also I feel like I've accepted my fate that I'll never be at the top.
You know what I mean. Like, I think you've got to be realistic about it as well.
I'll see you up there.
You'll only get unblocked when you're at the very start. You have your own podcast, Can you tell us a bit about that?
Yeah, it's called trash Alley.
It's a Spotify original podcast, which is so exciting because the only other people that I know who have Spotify original podcasts are Kim Kardashian and Megan Markle. I mean, Spotify has clearly put us all in the same boat,
which I agree. It's a pop culture podcast, so we kind of talk about like what's in the news and things like that, and then it's also storytelling about our own lives as well, So you know, I like to sum it up like for anyone who's never listened before, trash Alley is kind of like what you talk about in a smokers area at a nightclub, which is what it's named after. Trash Alley is what the smoking section at Arc Sydney, which is a big gay nightclub on Oxford Street.
That's what it's.
That's what we call solving some world problems.
Then yeah, yeah, well, I mean we get into all the conspiracy theories, we get into all of the everything. So it's a it's a podcast full of everything. But yeah, basically, I like to describe it as in like imagine, basically, you know, Ariana Grande releases a new song, and so in our episode, we go, Ariana Grande has released a new song. It's called break Up with Your Boyfriend, and then we talk about the song, and then we go, let's tell you about our worst breakup, you know what
I mean. So it's like we use pop culture to tell stories and things like that, and it's really fun. We are on a long hiatus right now. It's been a long hiatus. We finished up at the end of last year and then in January my granddad passed away and that was a really difficult time for me and I just needed some time to process. And it was full on, which is sad. And then Sydney World Pride happened, which was then the other end of the spectrum, the
happiest time of my life. I felt like I was at Disneyland every day and so it's been an emotional rollercoaster. I was very busy over Sidney World Pride, and then of course now I have my shows in Adelaide, and so it's just been a very busy time and we're hoping to work out everybody's schedules and come back as soon as we can.
Oh my gosh. Talk about Sydney World Pride.
Then, yeah, how was it? What happened?
Sign at the back end of it, and like I didn't realize how full on it is there, like how much Sydney gets involved.
It was a lie.
Yeah, andwhere I don't know.
I don't know if anyone realizes that how full on it was going to be. Well, usually, you see, we
just have Marti Gras, which is totally different. So we have Marti Gras, which is our Pride season, happens every year for about two and a bit weeks in Sydney, and we have obviously everybody knows the Mardi Gras Parade, but people probably like a lot of people, don't know that that's actually a seventeen day festival where things are happening every day and I mean thousands of events are happening every single day and just everything you can imagine everywhere,
and so it's actually a two and a bit week celebration. But everybody just knows the Mardi Gras Parade because that's pretty much what's on TV. And so this year we hosted World Pride, which is very much like the Olympics. You bid to world you bid to host World Pride.
We bid a few years ago, we won the bid and you know, it brings so unfortunately we won it I think before COVID and then COVID hit and so it's usually like a very big investment because it just brings so much tourism to Australia, and look it did, but I don't think it really hit as well as they thought it was going to because a lot of people didn't travel after the pandemic, and I mean, you know, everything that's going on in the world right now, but
there were still a lot of people who came over.
And obviously people came over from all over Australia.
I heard that, I did hear, and I don't don't quote me on this, but I think that they had more travelers like from Australia than international, which is like really good to see that, like Australia came out to support World Pride. But I will say that, you know, when you're in Sydney around World Pride, and as you were saying, they really get stuck into it, Well, they
don't get stuck into it every year. It's just that this year was Weld Pride, and like the city of Sydney and you know, councils and things could get on board. So you were having World Pride events. Instead of just
having World Pride events in the heart of Sydney. Sorry mrighty Guarre events in the heart of Sydney, you were now having World Pride, So your World Pride events were like out in Paramatta and all over the shop and everywhere Northern Beaches, you know, just all over Sydney, and it became like a whole city.
Thing, and so it was huge. It was really big, and it was so exhausting.
I was running on like an alternation of red Bull and sleeping pills, like just trying to keep my body going for the whole seventeen days. And of course it was seventeen days, but like two weeks before that that's when all the brands want to work with you on social media in the lead up, and so it was like five weeks.
So I've never worked so hard in my life.
It was so worth it. I had a great time. I got to see Kylie Minogue, who is my favorite human being in the entire world. That was probably my highlight.
And it was just nice to be gay.
But you know what, I definitely came out of it being like I am homophobic. I had enough of gay, babe, I've had enough people. I need to take a break. I would like, get me into a pub.
I need to be That's not my friend said the same thing. I was like, how was how's Pride week or Pride months, and he was like, I don't think I'm gay anymore.
It was that was that overwhelming feeling was around because we've gone so hard and now we're like, oh my God, give me a wife and kids.
Was there any like fun stories that you can tell us from Pride, anything wild happened, any juicy goss?
Sure there was really for me because I chose to work this well Pride.
Yeah.
Let me let me be honest with yes. And this is the thing, like when it comes to brands wanting to work with queer people during Pride season, you know, it's a bit nath So I was like, well, if they want to work with me, and you know, I'm going to charge through the roof, I'm going to make as much money as like, absolutely, and I'm not doing anything I don't want to turn and I'm not working for free.
I'm not working for free at all.
And so I didn't and it was amazing. It was a lot of work, and all my morals and rules still came into effect. Obviously, I still didn't work with brands as always that I don't want to work with or don't use their products. I don't love the product. But every brand I worked with, I was like, well, yeah.
But you can.
I'm gonna charge double my raids sometimes triple because it's Pride season and queer people deserve to be paid. And I couldn't believe actually the amount of people or the amount of brands sorry that reached out and just wanted things for free. And what was disappointing is then I saw people, you know, do the free shit, and I was kind of like, come on everyone, like if we're not all in this together, then it's not gonna work.
And there were some really big brands who contacted me to do things and I was like, wow, this is an amazing opportunity, like cool, I'm ready, and then when it got down to it, they had, oh, it's no budget, we don't have any budget.
What do you mean you don't have budget?
Then you can't work with this, And then to see other people work with them, I was kind of like, why are you doing this for like a bottle of wine and a packet of cookies, like you know, but in terms of like crazy stories, well Pride, like no, because I was working so hard and working so much that I didn't really have time to like, let my hair down and actually like truly enjoy myself and have fun. Yeah, I'm sorry, I can't come through with the tea on that one.
Usually I've got all the I've got all the tea, oh the hot gud. Yeah, not this year. I was too busy being a boss boss.
Yeah, that's it. What is your relationship status at the moment?
I am divorced.
I'm in a relationship with my partner, Skyla. We've been together four years, four years coming up in August, and we're definitely gonna get married.
Like he's the one, I'm the one for him. We just like know that.
It's like one of those when you know, you know situations and we just know. We moved in together like a year ago or so. It's been perfect. It's just that relationship. We never had a fight. We've never Nah, it's so weird. It's so weird. But I really think the pandemic helped because we were dating for six months
and then went into the pandemic. So then we were kind of forced to spend a lot of time together because you know, you had your little bubble, and so I was staying at his house or he was staying at my house, and I feel well, I feel like it threw you in and it either made or broke you, you know, and for us, it definitely made us. Like just spending that time together and like, yeah, like the fact that we could be on top of each other basically in more ways than one was definitely like and
we didn't get annoyed at each other. Was kind of like solidifying the fact that we really love each other. And so we've been together four years. Yeah, we'll be getting married for sure. Proposing we all know it's happening.
But you know what, I've.
Always wanted to propose to my partner, Like I've had this dream of like proposing at the place that we met, and like going back to the place we met or where we had our first kiss more specifically, like where'd you have your first kiss and like going back to that moment and proposing and having it come full circle. I'm a very full circle kind of person. Yeah, so our first kiss was in a bathroom Quebicuse.
Nightclub. It was close to trash all. We looked up in a toilet.
So won't be proposing, but yeah.
Wow, I love it. I love love and I love hearing these stories. It just like makes warm inside, and I think it gives people hope who are still in toxic relationships to hear these stories that you don't have to be in relationship where you are constantly fighting.
Yeah.
Well, the way that we met was also so organic, which I love. We didn't meet on a dating app or anything like that. I went to a drag show and he I saw. I was with my best friend and I saw him across the room and I tapped my best friend on the shoulder and I said, oh my god, look at that boy. I'm like, like, he's just so my tight, he's so perfect, he's fucking beautiful. And I tapped my friend and I literally looked at him, and I tapped my best friend and I go, look
at that guy. And he was like, oh my god, because he knew what I was talking about. And I go, that's my future husband. And it was yeah, so manifest that shit, ladies.
Yeah.
And then we became friends and we were like, oh, friends of a friend group. My best friend and me, and then his best friend and him. We all became like a little group, and then that group kind of got bigger and we were friends for a very long time. And I remember like I had the biggest crush on him, and I was just trying to like do the groundwork for like three or four months, and then finally I could see he was like taking what I was putting down. And so there's a bit of a chase, and I
hate chasing, but it was definitely worth it. And yeah, I just thought that we met really organically. Not that there's anything wrong with meeting on a dating app or a dating show, but yeah, like I.
Just love that.
It was like one of those moments that we met in real life, so lovely.
Is there a proposal on the cards soon?
Then?
Can we say, well, I need to stop working because there's no time to plan anything. I will say, as well, here's the thing, though, even though we've been together four years, like right now, it's not the right time, Like I just know that, Like I feel like, although I know that's happening, like you also know when you want to want to propose, and to be honest.
Like now not that time. Always did say we've only been living together for a year.
I think i'd probably want to give that like two years before you make your decision like that, just to really make Yeah, although we haven't had a fight ever, like you know, you never know, you just want to really give it a test run before you look it down. I don't see it being an issue, but yeah, the thing is like I just don't feel like I don't have time to think about that, you know what I mean. So once I have some rest, I do plan to take a bit of time off in a couple months.
So you know, I'm not going to propose then, but at least I can then think about it.
We'll be keeping our eye out for a proposal then, yea.
Well you won't be. You can't even see my podcast. I love that.
Probably you've me.
How was your dating life before meeting Skylar them?
Yeah, did you have any toxic relationships before?
Oh?
My god, literally yes, I had so many toxic relationships.
They were awful, some of them were.
I was actually more of a situationship kind of person, Like there was never only official label on it, but it was like months or years of like being in situationships. But also probably my own fault, Like sometimes I was in a situationship with three guys at a time, so it was my own fault because like one I remember getting into a situationship with like one guy and so that was boring me, but you know, I was still
keeping him around. So I got another one, and there was another situationship, and I was like, well that's boring as well.
You're both boring, but I'll keep you around. And then I got third one.
That wasn't until my best friend said something to me, like, you realize you've got three guys on the go at once, which I mean is empowering.
Monitor three guys at once, Like, yeah, well.
It's hard when you call one of them the wrong name, isn't it.
They're all called they're called each other.
Yeah.
Yeah, called one of them the wrong name during you know, an active service, and yeah, that didn't go down well.
And actually I think that was the end of us then.
So just remember, if you're going to sleep around with different people at the same time, just remember to call as as Matt said, Matt's apro Apparently, I wouldn't know.
It takes on to know.
I got to know.
Just always that's hilarious. Do you have any good pickup lines, because we are obviously a dating podcast and we always like to ask our guests to help the audience in their dating lives.
My best pickup is it's not really a pick up one.
Actually dating tip.
Maybe what's you?
Maybe it's that my favorite like pickup line sort of esque thing is Elvira when someone asks her like, how's how's your head and she goes, I've never had any complaints.
It's a slow burn. But I don't know.
I've never been a pick up As I said, I hate hate chase, so I've never been a pickup line person, Like you're doing the pickup lines on me, and you know, for the most part, you didn't need a pick up line as long as you look good. I was ready anyway, so didn't even matter what your name was, didn't have to learn it half the time, the wrong one anyway,
exactly exactly. But dating tips, look, I would say, oh, I've got the biggest dating tip for you, And I really think this is half the reason that our relationship is so successful. Seriously, though, for a minute, the fact is that Sky and I have very separate friend groups. So we have a friend group that before we started dating was a friend group. So we're obviously still all a friend group, and that's fine.
But I mean.
Friends that I didn't meet before dating him. I have no relationship with and I think that is one of the biggest and best things about our relationship and vice versa. He obviously knows my friends, I know his friends. We you know, they come over and obviously we have a conversation that I couldn't tell you anything about their lives and he couldn't tell you anything about any of my friend's lives. And although that sounds really like harsh and
black and white, it's not exactly like that. But what I think that does is there's no like mixing between friends and relationship and things like that. I feel like all of the breakdowns in the past is because I've wanted my partners to like be besties with my best friends, and then when it gets messy, it gets really really messy. And so although like we obviously have a great relationship with the other with like I know Sky's friends' names, I know what they do for work, and that's about it.
And when they come over, we catch up high how are you, what's been happening? But I never message one of them and say happy birthday or anything like that, you know what I mean, Like, we don't have that sort of relationship. And he we're very conscious, especially after probably spending so much time together during the lockdowns. We're very conscious that we need time apart as much as
we have time together. So I'm always happy when he's like, I'm going out for dinner with my friend on Thursday night, I'm like, freaking.
Go, Like, enjoy your life.
I never want to be one of those boyfriends either that like gets upset at my partner for wanting to go and do things with his friends and things like that. I'm like, you, babe, you do whatever you like. I'll be here sitting and waiting for you. Or I might go out for dinner with one of my friends. Yeah, And so we really take time to still spend time with the people in our life, but it's not all co mingled together. And I think that is honestly one
of the best reasons why it works. I like that too, It's we really we know that time apart is as sport and as time together.
Totally. No, I think that's really good.
I agree. I think that there has to be some I think there has to be you have to have your own time, Like I love my own time. My own time is like He's great, and then you get to hang out with your friends, have a beer and like, you.
Know, yeah, yeah, for sure, do you have an embarrassing dating story that you could tell us?
Plenty of them on earth.
I think my most embarrassing was probably when I called the guy the wrong name.
What happened? Do you just take up?
Because the other guy that I called him the name of is my ex and or he already knew about that guy the biggestine and I had slept with him that morning, and the other guy came.
Over in the afternoon, so I just got confused. There was a lot of men.
In the house at once, you know, I got confused.
That was probably the most embarrassing dating.
But see, look the other thing as well is as a gay man, dating is very different. In fact, we hardly date at all in the world. I mean maybe these days it's a little bit different, but definitely beforehand, there was no There was not much dating happening. You didn't hear of people going on dates. You didn't really go on dates yourself. I never really I was never really seeking anyone to date. I was more so just like looking for sex at the end of the day,
or maybe not even sex, just like other things. But for me, like I yeah, didn't I mean apart from my situationships. Before I was in relationship, Like you know, I was on all the apps, you know, finding finding men, but not to not to date just to be like come over, you know what I mean. We kind of just got straight to the point. We're very busy gay people. We're very busy. We've just got to in and out do it and then never see you again. And so yeah,
I don't know, like embarrassing dating stories. I never really went on dates, to be honest.
Right, embarrassing grinders stories?
Would you say, Oh my god, where do I start?
Okay, one time I was almost murdered because I downloaded.
I was on my I was on grinder. Here we go.
This is a big story for you. But oh my god, it ends so badly as well.
Well you're obviously alive, so didn't.
No, it's actually a full one eighty. I'll keep it real short for you. I tell the full story on trash Alley, but it's it's a long story, but I'll keep it short.
Okay. So I was messaging this guy.
He was like, come over, I'll give you a full body massage, and I was like, you know what that actually, that's really good. I'm okay with that. He's like, oh, what's your address. I give him the address. He's like, there's a taxi out the front. And so I get in the taxi and I'm like hey, and I think he's booked me a taxi. No, he's a taxi driver. And he looked nothing like his pictures. And he starts.
Like driving and rubbing my leg. And then he's like, I've got to drop.
The taxi back to the taxi rink in Alexandria and then you can book an uber to my house and I'll do the whole massage thing. And I didn't have enough money to pay for an uber all these years ago, and so I was like stressed now and I was like, oh, I can't do that. He drops his car off at the taxi rank, and then anyway, all this other stuff happened. I tried to get out of the car. He locked the doors. This is before the taxi rank. But I
mean he didn't in one way. He didn't mean any harm, I don't think, but like like he wasn't like not letting me out, but the doors were locked and I couldn't open the door, and so then but it wasn't like a full on thing, like I think it just genuinely like locked the doors and I didn't, you know, so I'm panicking.
I'm drunk anyway at the time. And then I get out of the taxi and run and then he like when.
He unlocks the doors for me to get out so he could go into the taxi rink, and then he turns around and chases me with the taxi down the street. And then I run into this apartment building and I hide, and then he gets out of the taxi and comes in and follows me. But like, again, I just think he was trying to be like genuinely nice, but I was just freaking out.
But I don't know, Oh God, tradition, I think he might have been.
But I was just like profiling him and being like, na, he's gonna mad me.
So I.
Got on grinder again and was then seeking refuge with whoever was nearest, and so then I then I I messaged a guy and he was like, yeah, come up to mine, and I get up there, and did you know what a bukhaky is?
No?
Yeah, okay, we might just ask the guests to, like the listeners to google what a bier khaki is.
Because I don't know.
So I get up to the to the room and he gets it and I'm just taking refuge. He's trying to be sexual, but I was like, I'm actually having a bit of a pedic attack, so I can't.
And he wasn't that attractive either.
But then he asked he got a phone call and said and they asked if he wanted to come over for a bu khaki and he said, oh, well, I got someone here can I bring them? And he asked me and says, do you want to go have a berkhaki? And I'm sitting there having a panic attack, you know, like just out of my mind thinking this this is not where I thought I would end up.
And he's like, do you want to have a bukharkie? And I went, oh, well, all right.
Then it was a very exciting experience. It was a one off. I'll never probably do it again, but it was it was it was fun and that's probably the wildest story. There's a lot more detail, but I feel like.
You guys need to tell me what a few khaki is because I'm feeling left out. What is it?
Might you might want to cut it out of the okay, Well, it's like, have you heard of a circle jerk then.
So you'll blow on one thing. Yeah, it's when you all like you circle jerk, Yeah you probably.
Yeah.
So I walked into this few khaky not knowing what to expect.
Let me tell you it was.
The hottest fucking footballer body time. Like they look like they all played for the Sydney Boosters, you know what I mean, Like I was in heaven. So I'm in the middle and it's kind of like, you know, they're they're just kind of like all standing around you, and you're just taking your pick at what you want to grab and and then I become, you know, the canvas for the painting.
But you know what, as full on as that sounds, let me tell you they were all real gentlemen. Like they were. They just it sounds like it's crazy.
They treated me with so much respect, and I appreciate that.
I can't believe we've gone from like this trauma situation getting chased by a fucking car taxi into this. I did not see that coming A bunch of Sydney roosters.
I did not see it coming either, but it did.
Wow.
Wait, that is an amazing story.
I love it just a question how many does do you remember? How many?
Yeah?
There were four? And then the guy that brought me from his apartment that I see refuge in, he sat on the lounge, so like there were five guys in the room and me, but there were only four, and the one that sat on the lounge just was like pleasuring himself and watching it happened.
Did you invite the taxi drivers blocked for life? I have a question actually about like gay relationships in that that I find fascinating. Are you in a monogamous one or.
Is yeah, I am you.
Are yeah, because I find always been really important to me. It's not for a lot of people in the gay community. But yeah, and the good thing about Skyla is he was looking for the same thing. So we're very monogamous. We've never strayed. But I feel like I had my time before this relationship.
Boundary Do you set up boundary from the star? Is it a conversation that comes up early or is it like, yeah, for.
Us, we had that conversation before we even started dating. And also I think before we even started really talking to each other a bit more seriously, I think we just I think I just popped that question like in the friend group and was like, what do we all think? Because I wanted to gauge his interests because if he wanted to be you know, open, open, then I don't know whether I could deal with that.
But here's the thing. You know what's really funny.
It is like I have this is so random, but you know Jess from The Bachelor this season, did you
want to Bachelor's this season? Is that the blonde guy, the blonde girl who had the open relationship, So like she was saying some things and she was making really good points and me and Sky were like talking and we were like, wow, that's so interesting, Like yeah, we definitely don't want that, but like that's so interesting, and we kind of like now because I've come to a point where before this relationship, I like never understood why anyone else would want to be with anyone else except
their partner.
That was just like my whole thing.
And I always looked at people who were in open relationships as like why are you even bothering?
You know what I mean?
And like, now though I still don't want that, I now understand it and I now go, well, if someone else that's an open relationship. Absolutely, like you go for it as long as you're both on the same page. It's yeah, not something that we want for our relationship now. I mean that could change in the future. I don't see it changing, but but yeah, I know it's a big thing. Yeah.
I had a sex expert come onto our podcast recently, called doctor Tara, and she explained to us that a lot of couples are moving from monogamyth monogamy, monogamy to monogamish, and the monogamish part is just like a random threesome here and like a little play there, and it's kind of like a little bit of dabbling, but mainly monogamy monogamous. I can't even talk monogamish, monogamish monogamy, Yeah, monogamy, monogamish. Yeah, yeah, apparently monogamish is like the new monogamy supposedly.
So what's monogamish Is that just like introducing someone into your relationship just one night thing.
Yeah, it's just like, yeah, just very or if your sexual needs or desires aren't linked up, that they come to an agreement that for instance.
Say so it's like ninety percent of the time you're monogam.
Yeah, say one of them wants more sexy, the other one sex drive, can't keep up with it. It's a discussion had and they've said, Okay, you can go. I guess I mean pay for something. You could pick someone up, or you could have someone on the side that you you find if you Yeah, the other one can't keep up with it.
It's like a conversation and communication. Yeah, I mean it was interesting hearing it.
I feel like it's a bit like awkward to bring someone in, Like like I think if we wanted to try spicing it up, I don't think i'd go straight to let's bring a third person into our bed.
Totally feel the same way.
I feel like it's almost easier to actually just go and sleep with someone else altogether then bring a third person in.
Yeah.
I know, I know.
I just did a story about a big car keeper, you know, threesome scamy, you know, because that would have been the odd one out.
But I feel left down in my own threesome.
Yeah, I guess, I mean your partner going off and doing stuff that fucking not knowing would kill me, like would eat me alive. I reckon, I couldn't compartmentalize.
Matt and I are way too jealous to ever be in another miss relationship.
I was thinking about it. Then it's something to spice it up. Be you could invite someone to watch look well brainstorm able to.
Find anyone to watch me?
Very very niche Mark.
Just like a creepy person in the corner, like masturbating to you, like it's.
Just giving me the driver, give me.
Oh. It's been lovely having you on the podcast. Thank you so so much for coming on. It's been a pleasure.
Thank you, Thank you for having me Joel, it's been a whod It's been the greatest way to start my day.
Please, I'll look to unblock you or you unblocked me. I'll speak to the people at Instagram higher up and see what's going on.
Yeah, something's going on. It's all gone wrong in high school or something. Because I don't know what's going on there.
That's strange, very strange, right, Thank you, thank you, Thanks mate, thank you,