THE CANDLE, FIREWORK & MIRROR THEORY + ANNA'S LAST EPISODE

It's so funny because Michael was like obviously lead singer in a band, had like long hair, he had a lip ring. He looks like so different.

It looks like panic at the disco. Literally, that's fall out boy. No, we can't sing songs. We've got to pay royalties on this.

Where's Your Head At? Is a podcast that talks full things right, Hold on a sec, let's give this a refresh. Hi, I'm Anna.

And I'm Matt, and we are now too newlywed not to each other. Just a female and male best friend here for the good, the bad, and the ugly times.

And exploring adulthood, family relationships, dilemmas.

And whatever else we have the mental capacity to deal with.

Come get the lowdown.

This is your male and female perspective.

So, Matt, where's your head At?

Good morning morning?

How are you feeling today?

I'm good. We're in for our last bulk record before you take your maternity leave.

No, i'm single today. The rings are officially off my fingers. My fingers, I actually have really long, skinny figures. I feel like my fingers probably just look like a normal person's hands.

Now, do you think it could be a hand model?

Could I have a hand model. Yeah, I don't know. Do you think I could be.

A hand model?

I'm asking you, are you trying to give me a compliment here or what? He's looking at his own hands.

He's like, no, but I could be man's kna he was for a bit. I'm listening to his book still, Oh.

You love you love a bit of Matthew mcut.

I know I do. He was a hand model.

Is it like self help?

I might have touched on this before. He says stuff that has happened to him, and then he says green light, and then he says like it's a green light, like that's a go sign, like he goes. You know, I spoke to this the producer, and he said blah blah blah, green light. And then I I guess in the format of a book, when it's written out, it looks better. But when he says that, it's sort of right.

Today, I'm officially thirty six weeks pregnant.

Congratulations, Thank you.

It's been a long journey. I feel like I wake up in the morning and my whole body is in pain.

Like you just run a marathon or something like, Yeah, just serious workout, which I've never had.

That. No, it's honestly so painful, like the hips, the inner thighs, like it's genuinely like I'm on a treadmill all night and then i wake up and I'm like, oh, that was hard training.

Respect, you're carrying a child, you're carrying wife. Yeah, it's a tough gig that you've got there.

I'm surprised you didn't say another s name. I was waiting for it.

Ah, okay, I was actually over the weekend thought of a bunch of them. But now I've forgotten write and still no.

One's got the name. How crazy is that?

It's so obscure of Sammy Boy. Obscure Sammy boy? How was your weekend? So?

I went to the Loom the Van Go exhibition in Melbourne.

Here is that?

It's actually really cool?

Where is it? Is it at the Yeah? Okay, I've walked past it before.

Yeah, it's pretty cool. Like there's it's basically this huge room with all of these lights and his artwork kind of projected throughout the whole space. I'm sure you've seen photos. It's pretty epic, and then there's little areas.

I don't know. I feel like I have it feels very familiar.

Yeah, and then there's like little spaces where you can do like different kind of projects or like artworks. Like one room there was all of these art kind of I don't even know what they're called, Like you know how they have those art things set up with the chair and then you would go there and paint or whatever. It like teaches you how to draw anyway. So basically like every was like sitting down in little rows and

You know when you draw and you Drawing to me has never been a skill, has never been something that I have thought about doing. Drawing to me was just always so. I remember in like wood Tech in year nine and year eight, you know, he had to draw those proper drawings, the measurements. I would in class just sit there like pretending to draw, and then I'd take it back home and I'd say, hey, Dad, and get my dad to draw it and then I'd bring it in the next class and yeah, he's awesome. He knows

Yeah, Like there's a difference between Like the difference between Michael and I is that like he was doing the shading to draw a line, you know how you like shaved down the line, and minds was like from like point one straight down to point two. Like I wasn't looking Like.

Have you done the thing with Michael where you have to paint a bit and you get like time and you have to paint and then you swap over and you pass it and you're painting a picture. No, I did that. So it was like a TikTok thing where you get a blank canvas and you paint and then you pass it to your partner and then you keep switching it over.

Well you did it like a like a duel painting.

Yeah, and then you add something to it.

Yeah, Michael probably wouldn't want to do that with me, and I'd ruin it.

It was pretty funny, Like it was originally like flowers and I drew like bugs, coming out of the thing.

It's fun, it's it sounds good. I mean, I'm like so into arts and crafts. I think like a couple of years ago I got into adult drawing because obviously I'm big into meditation and mindfulness and reducing anxiety. And someone said that adult coloring in is like so good for this calming the mind because you just focus in all of your energy on adult coloring.

So when we were in before we went into the villa in Love Island, when we were locked into our hotel room for seven days.

You were coloring.

I brought a coloring book and Texas. It was a Marvel one and I was coloring in Avengers.

That's really cute.

Yeah, well, what do you normally do You sit on your phone so you couldn't.

Be on movies.

Yeah, I watched movies. I watched like fucking I Reckon thirty something movies I would have watch.

Did that much adult coloring?

Well I did. I did a lot, I feel I remember. I remember I was like sitting there while watching the movies coloring it in. Apparently I was the easiest one to deal with my chaperone and told me really because I just did not care I just sat there just.

Like I think I was one of the hardest. Yeah, I only they had a double eye on me. Were you talking about laugh Island?

Well, I had. I had another person in my hotel on the other side, so we would have to like they would have to chat when I was allowed to leave. Apparently other people like demanding what time they left, and I was like, yeah, whatever time, I'll go eat whenever, I'll go for exors. Yeah. I wasn't like I was just chill ours.

I was more like trying to like sneak out or like to.

Do what in Fiji? What were you going to do?

Just be free, not be stuck in a room. I honestly hate authority, Like I hate the rules. I'm like, I like to break the rules. Cool cat, I'm just an adult.

I just sat there adult, coloring and watching the American football. That's like, yes, sir, yeah, like cool as I have nothing like this is what I'd be doing anyway. He is everything ready to go for old arms Scoop.

Scoop Scoop. That's probably one of the most stoopy with Snoopy Snoop Dog Snoopy.

Are you ready for old Snoopy's birth. Is everything ready we are?

We have to still build the prem We need to get a car seat and then pretty much everything on. I need to get like a baby holder.

Yeah. Right, so you're really you're on the home stretch. Now do you have it to go back? Do you have it to go back for the hospital?

I have a baby. Yeah, I have a hospital bag. I have a baby bag. I have a nappy caddy. Do you know what that is? No, I'm surprised pretty much know everything.

Yeah I do. No, I guess I gets a nappy bag. No. Nappy caddy is where you set them up on the nappy changing table.

No. I thought it was like it's like kind of like a bag, open bag and it's got all the nappies in it. So I'm putting it in the back of the car so i can change him in the back of the car.

Yeah. Yeah, that's why everyone does change it.

Yeah, so I'm not like breaking your ground.

No, it's definitely where posy stuff changed, posy snapping in the back of the car before. Definitely.

Also, Matt, this time last year, I was a week off of heading to Grease to get married to Michael.

Is that a year ago?

A year ago. Can you believe that time like literally goes so fast you blink.

And nah, that's scary.

That is scary because I remember being there like it was yesterday.

Same. No, that is scary that I honestly feels like yesterday. I was like we were traveling to Corfu, we were even getting there. Yeah. Wow.

It's so funny because Michael and I obviously we got legally married a month earlier.

Yeah.

Right, And so we've been kind of debating what anniversary all of them, all of them, Well, we didn't do the legal one, all of them. We didn't do the legal one because it was very close to my birthday.

It doesn't mean celebrating them. Just have a glass of champagne for it, or a bottle of champagne. Oh yeah, well you know what I mean, Like I know, you have like just like a dinner or something to acknowledge it. When I say celebrated, I don't mean throwing a party like you know, I don't mean like, I just mean like acknowledging it, like.

Acknowledging everything that we acknowledged it.

Yeah. I think that's something that I like in a relationship. It's just to acknowledge all those little things, all the little little moments they count because in the grand scheme of things, that's all you've got.

It was pretty cute. Both of our parents actually sent us a message and there happy legal marriage today or wedding day. But yeah, we didn't like officially celebrate it. But we will be celebrating the Greek wedding, our Greek wedding. But it's so close to the baby's arrival, so maybe we won't be celebrating. Is mainly what I was getting at.

Okay, maybe I'll tell you what you do. Just just all right and just enjoy it, just have something nice, cute, like I was, just acknowledge it.

Yeah, I know it's funny because like you think, like it's weird when you're in a relationship and you've been in a relationship with someone for let's say three or four years, and then you get married, and then it's like you have to start from square one, not to start from scure one. But it's like one year acknowledged.

Like I've said before, I will acknowledge the date we met, the date we said up.

You can be doing a lot of celebrating in your life, but I think that's the I think that's something sweet.

That's my opinion. I'm a sentimental gar.

Yeah, I'm kind of like, to be honest, there's a part of me that's like, I want to book a holiday when the baby's four months old, just celebrate. I don't know where to. I would personally love to go back to grew So I don't know if that's maybe just completely out of tune with what it's going to take to have a baby.

Rights the audience. I don't.

I don't know, guys, if you were a mom listening to this when it was the earliest that you traveled with a baby is what I want to know.

And I was relaxing over the weekend and you sent me a photo of a photo, So I'm assuming this is you charged up by I look at things your old phone.

Yeah. I charged up my old phone because I'm currently going through this super annoying phase where I'm trying to change my name from Anna McAvoy to Anna Staples. So I was looking through my old phone because it has my old email in it, and then I'm not very good at admin, as we know. So then Michael started doing that and I started looking through old photos and I came across.

This is a photo of This is the first ever photo taken of Anna and myself featured date back to I Reckon two thousand and fifteen.

Do you reckon? We were at the Maya Catwalk and we had a break in the middle of the day. Is that right?

Yep?

Ye, And then we all went to like a bar, a four hour break or something before the night show.

Unrecognizable both of us, to the point where I actually asked, So I sent the photo to Matt, why is your eyeliner so thick?

Dude? It was a Maya Catwalk show. It's not something that I did. There was a makeup to the point. Okay, So there's a photo of Matt and I. It's first ever photo that we've.

Taken to it's a group selfie.

It's a group selfie with like a few of the other models. It's mainly me and you.

It is mainly us. Yeah.

And then I literally said to Matt, is that you? Because that's how unrecognizable you look.

Man, I am a in that photo. That's yeah, that's that is ten years old.

And I'm wrapping the brunette hair you are.

Look at my phone? How small was the iPhone back then.

Your hand is bigger than the phone.

We'll put this on the Instagram and the Facebook page. That is a hilarious photo.

It's a photo we didn't even know that we had. So the fact that I have somehow found this amazing. I tried to send it to myself.

Didn't work. Nice phone. Okay, so it doesn't air drop or anything. You can't I message it or anything off there.

I mean to go back and find that photo I was deep in, that was deep in photos. I don't know if I could, or I probably could, but I don't know if I have the mental whilst pregnant. But we will put the photo of the photo on our Facebook page, maybe on our Instagram as well, and you guys can have a laugh because it's pretty funny.

It's very funny.

Okay, let's jump into today's episode.

We Love Theories here, where's your header? And I don't we.

Love a theory conspiracy theories?

No, we're not that sort of podcast, not yet, not yet, not ever. I was thinking about going and hunting for the panther, not hunting panther. Currently in like Ballarat and around the outskirts of Victoria, there's a black panther that roams around. I'm not going to hunt him to kill him, but I want to hunt him to find him and report back. I was thinking about doing.

And you believe that.

I don't not believe it.

What makes you believe it?

There's been sightings of a big.

There's insightings of the Lockness Monster in Scotland. It doesn't mean he's real.

That's your theory. I think Lockheest monsters. We're not a conspiracy theory podcast. Let's move one. We love theories though.

I mean maybe the Locknest months who does exist? I don't know. I've been in that lake on a little tiny boat and I was thinking, well, if this is this thing's real fun.

You're fucked. I actually put on a really budget rated Locknest monster movie the other day. I had to turn it off. I I don't turn off movies. And you know that that's how bad it was.

Must have been real dire, dire watching. Okay, so on this episode we are talking about the three great love theory. So you're either going to be the firework, the candle, and the mirror.

You're either going to be in one of those relationships or had one of.

Those relationships, have had one of those relationships. So it's about people who you've fallen in love with in your past. Obviously, we love doing this, we love figuring out which one we are, and you guys can at home as well.

Okay, so do you want to tell us a bit about these three theories? Anna?

Yeah, So first let's start with the firework, the most crazy one, as the name suggests, being a firework. So this love is the intoxicating love, the one that burns bright but fades quickly. So we've all had that relationship, I think, especially when I was younger. I think the firework theory happened a lot. Like you meet someone, it's explosion, and then next minute like it's over. It's it all happens so quick.

Super and over.

Literally.

Is that what they called the burn bright, die young? Yeah.

So it's exciting, it's dramatic, it's explosive, basically like an actual firework. It fizzles out quickly and often leaves behind a smoky aftermath of drama and emotional wreckage. Matt, can I relate?

Yeah, I think in a couple of firework relationships, definitely. I feel like these ones, though, everyone has to go through them. I mean I say everyone, that's a bit of a broad statement, but I feel like you learn from them, and I feel like you better yourself from those relationships and understand a bit more about yourself and a bit more about dating. Like we've always said on this podcast, dating is about learning, and to learn, you need to get out there and explore different scenarios and

I think the firework love rarely works out, and I think it's good to learn that lesson young Yeah, so that you can kind of like see that Yes, it was fun at the start, but it's not there's no longevity in that type of relationship.

People mistake that passion for like love and lusters in love. I feel like that happens a lot when you're younger as well.

Yeah, But in saying that, I've never been in a relationship where there's not been fireworks at the start, like you know, like tummy, but have you Yeah, I done a slow burner.

Yeah, I was with one when I was like hooking up with the girl for like a couple of years before I realized that she was cool shit can started dating her for over two years.

That's that must be a rare scenario. Yeah, so what you guys were like friends with benefits. Yeah, and then it moved.

Into it just it just got more and more like you know, from every fortnight to like once a week, twice a week, like go home after going out with her or go like and then eventually just got more and more like you know, and the more you talk and it was like dates, more days, and it just gradually became a relationship. Didn't work out obviously, Yeah, but you know you're young. They can happen you're young.

Well, let's talk about the slow burn one. That is the candle that is steady but potentially unfulfilling. I've definitely had a candle before. Let's explain it. So the candle relationship is what many of us settle into after recovering from the burns of the firework. This is so true. It's steady, it's reliable, and it offers a warm glow rather than a blinding explosion of light. A candle burns consistently, providing comfort, and it could potentially burn for a long time.

Piece piece is so valuable in a relationship. I think that that is something that is just.

Yeah, totally underrated. Like when people say what are you looking for? No one says that piece.

No one says they want peace. We all want peace.

What I do want to say about the candle relationship is there's still fire, Like the candle still represents a fire burning. It's not saying it's a boring relationship. You know, there's still a lot of love there. But I think you do end up in some cases blowing out that flame because there's just something missing. There's not a big enough challenge for you.

And what would you say to like high school sweethearts that are still together.

Maybe they're the candle that never blew out.

I mean, I got told the other day that my house captains at my school just got married. They've been together for like that's over ten years. Really, that's a long time. That's like real, Like and they were dating at school.

Yeah, I have a similar story. There's a few couples actually from my school who have ended up together. You know what, I think it's really sweet if you're in love and happy and you meet your person who's your forever person at school, Like why not, Like if I met Michael when I was at school, It's actually funny.

Do you reckon though you would still be with Michael school.

We've spoken about this, and I reckon that we would have like dated and then we would have gone separate ways and then found our way back to each other at the same time when we were like even it's so funny because Michael was like obviously lead singer in a band, had like long hair, he had a lip ring. He looks like so different.

It looks like panic at the disco. Literally that's all that boy say a scene. No, we can't sing songs, We've got to pay royalties.

We were sitting on this long gust no, and then I was like literally had like long dark hair like we literally we put photos of ourselves together when we were younger, and we look.

Like, well, if you're wearing eyeliner from that photo I just showed you, guys would definitely be best friends.

Dude, I didn't put that eyelinera.

Do you see this photo? This eyeliner is so thick with the.

Look from the MYR show. Roll it up with them.

The last and final one in this theory, Anna, is the mirror.

So that is the challenging.

Before we start. I've never seen a mirror that I don't get along with.

Why did you have to say that? Like, I'm like, I'm not surprised, but you know, it's so typical about So the mirror is the challenging but transformative relationship. So the mirror love the one that is the most profound and potentially lasting of the three. So if I was going to say that me and Michael are one of these, I mean I feel like the fireworks at the start was me and Michael, but then we moved into the mirror one.

Well that's a healthy transition I feel of a relationship.

Yeah, So let me describe this one. This is a relationship that reflects back to you all of your strengths, weaknesses, fears, and potential. It shows you exactly who you are, which can be both terrifying and incredibly liberating. I love the mirror theory as well, Like I think having a relationship where you look at someone and you see yourself is so powerful because you can grow so much.

I say, or you see someone that wants you to grow, and you respect and listen to them, and you take it on and you want to grow with them and grow together to make the best version of yourself. I feel like that is a relationship that's the most powerful and will not break. Yeah.

And if you can like look at someone and see their faults and go I do that too, Yeah, and then you can both help each other. I think that's such a powerful relationship. So I think if you're finding that mirror relationship, absolutely cherish it, hold on to it. It also does mention that some of the most powerful mirror relationships that we have in our lives are between

I feel like, though, for this to work, a mirror, you have to be open to criticism from people you love and not take it as negative and take it constructively, because I don't think your partner is trying to criticize you to hurt you. They're just trying to see the best of you and try and get the best out of you. And if they are trying to hurt you, that's an unhealthy relationship and you need to leave.

What do you think is the best relationship, the firework, the candle, or the mirror?

Obviously the mirror, you think the mirror, Yeah, yeah, I think the you want to grow with your partner totally, and I think that if they can bring that out of you and you can bring that out of them, that's a positive step forward. And that's it. But the safety of a candle is just can't argue with that, the stability and that piece of that candle relationship absolutely, Like that's just what about a healthy mix of all of them? Is that on the table? Are we allowed to do that?

And why not? Let's do it.

Let's do it.

I mean, these are just apparently the three great loves that we have in our life. We've spoken about this is one sery of it, and this is a theory that each of these loves are represented by one of these things. Obviously, everyone loves a bit of excitement, everyone loves a bit of firework relationship. But I think as you get older you prioritize different things.

I've said this before. There you can have excitement in a relationship without it ruining the stability of each other. Yeah, likely there are two different things. Yeah.

I think there's also a lot to be said about growing with your partner.

And oh that's what's that's the idea.

Yeah, like actually building things together and building your kind of like life together, you know, buying a car together, we are all.

Having a child, all that sort of stuff.

Yeah. Absolutely, Okay, Matt, that's all we have time for guys. I'm going on maternity leave. We have been recording some really fun Hotline episodes for you guys, so don't worry. We will be back next week. But they're just prerecorded episodes so that I can take a break meet my

It's very exciting, mind blowing.

It's actually crazy. But yeah, stay tuned. We have some really fun episodes planned for you, guys. And the next time that you speak to me or we talk or I'm in this podcast.

Studio, They're going to bring him in.

I don't know. Am I going to bring him in?

Like?

Am I going to have a babysit? I don't know.

You should proably start thinking about that sort of probably should be front of mine.

My mom is like so excited. So is Michael's mum of course, so we have the best support system from both sides of the family. And I think if I need a babysitter, I don't think I'm going to be short on I've.

Heard some horror stories about the mum and mother in law getting too involved. That should be interesting. Just people in general, tiktoks and stuff.

Yeah, boundaries, boundaries, But like if I'm saying I'm coming in to record the podcast and ask both of them.

There's going to be no.

Maybe they can fight with each other, okay, but no, or maybe I can bring him into the podcast. We'll see it might be a bit distracting.

It should just sleep. It's weeks. It's him sorry, wow Sand? Oh he should just see C S E A C.

Did you just get the name? Well? Did I?

Well there's a picture here and I saw Sand and see on this screen. That's so funny, see Staples, sand Stafles sand Staples, Sand Is it actually Sand? I'll get it.

I want to tell you, like, it would be funny if you did actually get it. That's like like every time you keep guessing these names, I'm like, it would actually be funny if you just happen to get it. But unfortunately, Strike, No, you're off the mark.

I don't know. No one has got it.

No one's got it. Guys, Thank you so much for listening in man. I really appreciate all of the support that we get from you guys. It does not go unnoticed. You guys are our where's your head out? Family? Thank you for coming on this journey with us. Enjoy the episodes that we have prepared for you, and until next time

Love you, bye,