THE BREAKUP SHAKE UP

I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming she How.

Do I put this? He isn't a fan of my kissing style with.

The boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a trash bin. He's non recyclable catching them mu.

I love being love, I love Love.

Where's Your Head At Is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

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Matt, I think congratulations are in order. You just celebrated your sixth month anniversary.

I did.

Indeed, Jenna and I were actually very surprised. We looked at the date and we're like, hang on, this is our six months and god, time goes fast when you're having fun.

Doesn't it.

Do You know? What's really crazy is Matt and I andies with Jen and Michael are two months apart to.

The day to the day. Yeah, who would have thought.

I was thinking about it the other day and I was thinking about those two months of when you were in a seeing Michael stage situation situationship. Yes, how wild that time was for me? And then you must have started dating Michael around the time I met Jen, and we are yeah, wow to think here we are now so happy to have relationships.

You know what, you were getting very upset when things were ending with different situationships that you were going through during that.

Time, some wild times.

Yeah, and I think I think you got to the point where you were like, I think the timing is right for me. I want a girlfriend, I want to settle down. That's what I want.

And then I happened to go on a very magical date and the rest is history.

The rest is history. We've had so many messages from you guys talking about the fact that you guys are going through breakups and you guys want our advice. We've also noticed that a lot of our friends seem to be going through breakups at the moment. I don't know if it's that time of year.

Are something's in the air, something's in the air, and worry we don't catch it.

Look, breakups are never easy. So we decided that we want to do a throwback for you guys. We have so much good advice, so many great useful tips and tools to deal with a breakup, whether that be a situationship, a relationship or anything in between. This is the episode to really help you, guys, move on from that breakup, whether it's you going through this friend, give it a listen and enjoy. Guys.

We are also touch on our very public relationships that we had and how they break up and how we handle them. So make sure you take a listen to this one.

Let's dive into this breakup episode.

It doesn't matter if your first or six breakup, they never get any easier.

Yeah, one hundred percent, And I reckon that a piece of your heart literally dies every time you go through a breakup. But in saying that they are amazing for self development, I think we all learn such valuable lessons about ourselves. We find out things that we want in a partner, things that we don't want in a partner. So yeah, they're amazing for our growth. But Matt Tullmy, what's the hardest breakup other than your most recent breakup? What's the hardest breakup that you've gone through?

Definitely would have to be my ex of two years.

We started dating when I was twenty two, and when I started to date her, when I asked her to be my girlfriend, I was really going through a rough patch in my life, and I was like, I've got to make some changes with what I'm doing. So I remember I got a girlfriend, I started wrestling, and I started like a bowling team, believe or not, all in my like the space of like a week. I was just like, I'm going to change my life now and

My endgame with her, like the rest of my life. Yeah.

So then when she broke up with me, I took it really bad. And I took it as a shock because obviously we had our problems. No relationship is perfect and I'm not going to sit here and say that, but I thought it was nothing we couldn't work on. Yeah, okay, so I said like, let's work on it, and then she just came back with like, no, she didn't, she didn't want to work on it.

So you thought she was the one and maybe she didn't see you as her end game.

So yeah, and that was pretty brutal for me to take upbreaking. Yeah, I didn't take it too well. And I remember we so we broke up at mine and then a couple. Like a week later, she said, all right, let's catch up and see where you're at. Let's see where where our heads are at. And then we caught up at this the local tire restaurant, and I remember sitting opposite her and I was just like trying everything I could to get her back, and then.

Unsuccessful scull.

I remember even like the waiter came up and was asking for our order and I couldn't even look at him. I was just sitting there crying, weeping at the table. People on different tables were like getting uncomfortable because I was just sitting there just weeping.

That's awful.

But yeah, like you said, you need to go through that to grow as a human. And I've learned a lot about myself going through.

That, right, Yeah, and you do.

So what about you, Anna, what's the hardest breakup that you've been through other than your most recent?

I mean, I would definitely say my relationship that went for six years. I was with him throughout my whole twenties, and I got to twenty six and I realized that I needed to be by myself and to spread my wings and see who I was outside of that relationship because I had literally grown up with him, And that's the hardest thing about going through a breakup is you're not only losing your partner, but you're also losing your

To sixty years or so one.

Through your twenties, you're like growing with them, you're learning life with them. Yeah, it's even more hectic when you break up.

Yeah, well we were together. We met when I was nineteen and we were together until I was twenty six, so that's.

You know, going through a lot of life lessons with him.

I think as well, like I felt like if I didn't take time to also be single, if I ended up getting engaged to him or married to him, I might regret that that I never had those young single years of my life and kind of put that to bed. And I think that's a big reason why a lot of people break up, because they're not ready to fully commit to someone because they don't feel like they've explored

And it wouldn't have been fair to stay with him if you did have those doubts in your mind, and those thoughts.

One hundred percent like it would have constantly plagued my mind. And so that's how I know it was the right decision.

So what are the different stages of a breakup?

Anna, There's like the so there's denial, We've all been there.

Is that the first stage?

That's the first stage. Then there's the anger, the bargaining, the depression, the worst part, and finally the best part of a break up, the acceptance, when you're just at a point where you're like, I've accepted it. You know, I'm not going to try and beg for them. What part do you think that you were at with your exit the tire restaurant.

I was definitely at the bargaining stage.

I was throwing off offers like I'll be like this, if you take me back, I'll do this, I can change.

I'll be like but no, I'll totally change my whole personality.

Take me back, I'll be a different guy. But then again, she probably didn't want a different guy. She just Yeah, So the bargaining definitely didn't work that time. So it's back to what's the next dage depression?

Yeah, off to depression depression. So your ex was obviously breaking up with you, but research has actually found that women go through more emotions and physical pain after a breakup compared to men, and men deal with the pain later or they move on and never fully heal from a breakup. Do you agree with that?

Yeah, I don't feel like I've ever completely healed from any of the breakups so I've gone through. I obviously have found closure in them, and I'm not like dwelling on them or like obsessed with them anymore, But I feel like there's a part of me that hasn't completely healed from each breakup I've been with.

Wow, so pieces of your heart is still mildly broken from all of your breakup? Yeah?

I mean when I get in love with someone I love them, and I'm like committed to them, and I'm like give them everything, and I invested in them. So for me, it's hard for me to completely heal once my heart's broken. Honestly, I think it stems from when I was younger seeing my parents break up, and I think I never saw my mom fully get over my dad, and at such an impressionable age, around like twelve thirteen. Yeah, I think that left more of an impression on me

And you're so close to your mama. Would have been so hard seeing her go through heartbreak when you're so young.

Yeah, yeah, Well she did a good job at hiding it, but obviously you could tell.

It was there.

We can tell. Yeah.

Okay, guys, So now to the part of the show that everyone's been waiting for.

Drum roll, please get excited. Get excited for this one.

Tell me about how your dating life has been since since Love Island. It's coming off the show.

Well, Obviously I've never spoken about my breakup with Josh. Yes, so this is all my relationship.

Really, this is the first time you're publicly you're going to speak about your relationship and your breakup with Josh.

I mean, yeah, I think so.

Does that give you a little bit of anxiety?

It does. So I get really bad anxiety, and that always calls it anxiety because you know anxiety, it's giving me a bit of anisal. So me mentioned that, Yeah, it is the first time I'm going to speak about it. I think with my relationship with Josh, as you know, when we first met, it was like sparks and fireworks and we were obsessed with each other and we were for months after the show. When you meet someone in

You think if you guys were normal in a normal like, if there wasn't a lockdown, you guys would have been any different?

No, I don't think that Josh and I were meant to be together.

So Josh was working, you were working. You don't think it would have been any different likes. I don't think so, and I think Josh would agree with me as well. I think our personalities just clash.

Our relationship was very The highs were really high, and we were obsessive for each other to an unhealthy level, but then the lows were extremely low, so you could call it toxic. It was toxic, and I mean we both said it, so it was a toxic relationship. It didn't mean we didn't have really great times. And it's hard with social media because when we were obsessed with each other and having those great times, we'd post about it.

Hey, guys, did you feel a lot of pressure from the outside world? Obviously winning and everyone was invested in your relationship. Did that bring a certain amount of pressure to it as well?

Yeah, Like, we obviously were from different states, so I am Melbourn based and Josh's Sydney based, and we really wanted to live together and to give it a go. I think there was cracks that started to form before we moved in with one another, and we thought that the solution would be to be living in the same state and not to be doing like a long distance relationship. But I guess when we moved in with one another, we realized that those cracks were funded. Like fundamentally, our

Values weren't the same.

Correct, and that's something that you can't change.

You think different parts of your life totally.

Like I've always dated guys older, like much older, and Josh is a year younger than me. I've never even any on my own age, and I think that was an adjustment. Guys are way more immature as well then girls generally at this age. Right, It's really I'm really generalizing, but I think as a whole, girls normally date after the guys date down.

I think my ex was nine years ten years older than me, and I felt like I was more emotionally mature sometimes in a certain situations.

In your own brain, I think you are an exception, Like not a lot of guys at twenty five would date someone nine years older, Right, That's an exception to the rule. But yeah, like I think for me, like we yeah, there was just fundamental things that didn't really align and it caused a lot of conflict between us and things like I like my jealousy. Just we've spoken about how we're both quite jealous, and sometimes I felt like.

What would you get jealous about?

It's just really hard, Like obviously I was in a six and a half year relationship and had none of these issues, But when you come off of a show and you've just like fallen head over heels in love with this guy and you get your phones back and then they get hundreds and hundreds of girls messaging them, and you know what it's like, you had the DM I definitely do. You don't sleep well at night when stuff like that's going on.

So you didn't trust Josh or you just didn't feel comfortable with these messages.

I think it was a bit of both. I think maybe I could have had more reassurance in the relationship. But yeah, again, like that's like fundamentally, yeah, work because of things like that.

I was obviously there through your whole relationship, you and Josh. I'm really good friends with both of you, and I feel like that, like there was nothing worry about there, Like that's just like it was happening to me as well at the same time. You just like they come and they go those messages, you know what I mean, Like.

I know, I mean, look, I think it was the bigger picture of like it was a fresh relationship. There was the pressure of the show where with a last standing couple, I think, and there's like we didn't really set up boundaries because everything just happened so fast and we were like flying in and out of into stay.

Like you said as well, the pressure for coming from the show, and I'm keeping that like look up on your Instagram, like the look of you guys, like being the couple, and like that's what everybody wanted to see, cute photos of you guys together. Yeah, And I remember, like a lot of my friends, a lot of people say how cute are Anna and Josh, Like they're like on Instagram, They're so cute, and I'd sit there and think, fuck, Like, yeah, we had their.

Issues, yeah, like everyone does. But I think ours just got really intense at the end of the relationship. And when we did break up, it was definitely the right time, like it needed to happen.

I was there that night.

I think before we decided to end the relationship, we did go to couples counseling for the last few months because we felt so much pressure to stay together because we didn't want to let everyone down, And I think that was really hard, Like I felt like, although I was really sad about the relationship ending, I also felt like I was letting everyone down who believed in Josh and I as a couple and everyone who spent hours watching the show.

And then hours later getting invested in you guys.

Like yeah, yeah, And I think that was way more pressure than I could have ever imagined. And I wanted to do everything I could to make it work, and honestly we tried.

Yeah.

So it was me and my ex you and Josh for his birthday, having a couple of drinks, and.

Yeah, it got pretty drunk.

I got pretty drunk, and yeah.

We started arguing.

And just really snowballed into something.

That and from that fight we didn't recover.

Yeah.

Go now I think it was I think we've been broken up for eight months. Jeez, sost known.

How did you go with the breakup? Though?

Obviously you're coming off this high pressure relationship, every intense relationship.

How'd you go with the breakup?

So the breakup from me was the hardest breakup that I've ever had to deal with in my life. It was really hard.

What made it difficult?

So obviously people move on from relationships differently, and everyone handles them differently. Some people choose to hook up with someone straight away hate others choose not to. And I think the day after we broke up, or to maybe two days after we broke up, Josh went out and hooked up with someone, and then my.

Oh, we went out that night, but I left early. I was you were there?

Sorry I forgot and that was the I.

Was getting messages from my exit come home.

Okay, yeah, yes, but.

Back to me.

So, Josh hooked up with someone relatively quickly, a couple of days after we broke up, and obviously, in a normal breakup, I wouldn't know about that and it wouldn't hurt me. But because people knew, like it was a very public relationship, my dms were flooded with people telling me that.

You're getting messages. What your message is saying.

Josh, Josh's with a girl. I just saw Josh at a bar with this girl. What's happening? Josh's cheating on you?

So, you guys hadn't gone public yet.

We hadn't told people we weren't together. So my dms were flooded with people telling me and updating me on what Josh was doing, and it was really hard for me to deal with.

I have mixed opinions about that.

Yeah, obviously I get they maybe they think they're doing the right thing, but maybe but out because obviously they don't know, like, it's just going to make.

It harder for you.

Well, I get that you're a public in the public eye, you're a public relationship, but they don't know what's going on. You guys could be having like a break and it's like, you do it you want to do. I do what I want to do, you know what I mean, And it's just going to make things worse for you, guys, like I don't know.

I at the time was appreciative of it, but now in hindsight, it really did hurt me and it was really hard to cope with.

I would say, oh, yeah, I just dream, so that's about I would never want to get messages like that about next.

It's not good, especially two days after so yes, and then Josh ended up with a girl from The Bachelor, the recent season that me and him watched together, and whilst we were watching it, he said she's hot, Oh no, and then he ended up hooking up with her, and there was daily mail articles on that. That was month one. Month two, we watched Bachelor and Paradise together. He didn't say she was hot at the time, and then he

Yeah.

So obviously your breakup was difficult with Josh. She found that hard.

Yeah, it was really hard, And obviously all breakups are really difficult. That was just the hardest one that I've personally been through. But I feel like I gained so much knowledge and I had so many tools that really helped me to get over the breakup. And obviously we're going to share these soon in this episode. But like, let's talk about your breakup with Kira. How did that go for you?

Yeah, I mean it was at the start, it was almost like we hadn't broken up, because I come in with the theory of like you can remain friends after a breakup, Yeah, and you can hang out, you continue to sleep together, you continue to hang out. But she I don't think she'd done anything like that before, where obviously I had with my ex, I'd done that, and then I would just say to her like we can just do this with no pressure on it, know nothing, and then we're just two ships that sail out tonight.

Eventually you just stopped.

Is that evening toxic that I'm hearing a bit of.

Looking back?

It probably was, But I don't think either of us were ready to completely say goodbye to the relationship and didn't want to let it go because obviously there was a there was a like a connection there, and there was something there, and it was like you said, we.

Were good, You're really good.

And when we were running low, we were running really low. So I think that I wasn't ready to say goodbye to it, and we kept hanging out. But in hindsight, it wasn't what our relationship. We shouldn't have done that, we should have had a clean snap, because to her it was either we were There was no gray. It was black or white, like we're not together or if we hang out, we're together.

But that's how I see it.

I think that's how a lot of people see it, and I don't there there could there is a gray area for me where we can remain friends. We're now on talking terms. Try not to but we are on talking terms. We're friends. Now, it obviously got to a point where it had to be cut off, and that was eventually done.

So we're on talking terms now.

And I found it very difficult I our breakup, Like I struggle, Like if I invest in someone and I give them my thing, like I invest like I'm balls to the wall like you you know what I mean, Like I give you everything, give everything, I give everything. So it is hard for me.

And that's a good quality to have, Like it's good to be able to go like I'm very all or nothing as well, Like if I like you a little bit, I'm not invested and I won't really do it. But when I'm in, I'm all in and.

We both have that quality.

Yeah, you know, I saw I was in, and obviously it's something I've got. I think I've got to work on and I've got to learn, is that when it is done, pull myself out quicker than trying to hang around and trying to see what I can do and try and see if you can make it work in another way.

Yeah, So when I break with someone, I'm cut contact.

You know, cut the head off the snake and you're done.

Yeah, Well, I think it's easier that way. Whereas you like to remain friends, you like.

To kind of just fizzle it out, just burn out.

You say fizzle it out, I say drag it on. And that's why we see things a little bit differently.

Yeah, A good thing is like you rip the band aid off, correct, I sort of peel it off slowly.

Yeah, And I think that can cause a lot more heartache because they're still in your life and then all of the great qualities that you loved about them are still right there. And how can you possibly like move your energy onto someone else if you're still seeing all of those great qualities, Like if you were with someone officially, that's a pretty big deal, Like, yeah, you don't just have all of these relationships with people for someone to

Yeah, and you emotionally invested in them, correct, And so it's hard to just yeah to Well, I had a relationship in the past that worked. When we did that, we broke up and remained friends, and I thought that was going to work this time, and it obviously didn't. We're friends now, but there was a bit there where miscommunication, expectations weren't the same of the situation and yeah, but we're all good.

Now Let's get into our breakup advice for everyone then, since we just spoke about how traumatic break because I feel like we did we learned really good techniques on how to move on. I feel totally healed from my breakup.

I feel completely healed as well. I feel moved on.

So I think that, like, we wrote down our best advice to our top ten best advice that we felt that helped us get over our excess, so we want to share that with you guys.

Okay, let's do this. Okay. So the first one is I think writing down all of the negatives because when you break up with someone, you somehow, I don't know why our brain wants to fuck us over like this, but somehow our brain's like, but what about all of the good things? And you somehow all of the bad things seem to fizzle out and you actually genuinely forget why you shouldn't be together.

So what only the good things? Only the good times and good memories?

Yeah, and you're like, could we still make it work?

And you hang out with them once and you're like, that's why.

That pretty much? Yeah, So when I broke up with Josh. I wrote myself a letter, so I said, dear Anna, I just want you to know the reasons why you should not be with Josh. And I listed all of the reasons why we weren't compatible or white for one another. And it was good and anytime I missed him or was really sad, I read the letter that I wrote to myself, and I feel like, if you write a letter to yourself, how much more powerful can it be. It's not like you're reading a letter from a friend

Okay, so no contact and unfollow on socials. Obviously I didn't do the no contact. Now I suggest no contact. I think that works a lot better than my original thought on following the socials. I did that from the start, the moment we broke up, blocked.

I blocked it.

I didn't want her seeing what I was doing. I didn't want to see what she was doing. I just, you know, because we obviously aren't together. I didn't want to see her going out. And it's unhealthy, right, Yeah, it is unhealthy.

And sometimes when you've been in a relationship with someone I might be talking, it might be throwing myself under the bus here, but you become almost obsessive over what they're doing, Like what are they doing? Are they seeing a guy or girl?

Who are they following?

Who are the new people they're following? Yeah?

Number three, stay busy and make new memories.

Yeah, so be a yes person. Say yes. If someone's like, hey, do you want to come to the pub tonight, just be like yeah, why not? When you would normally say no because you were at home cuddling your partner. Now it's time to be a yes person, right.

There's no point sitting there like doing nothing.

Just no.

Yeah, So like dive into work, dive into new things like get make yourself busy, seeing your friends, seeing family.

One hundred percent. I think that when I break up with someone, I give myself a week two if I'm really struggling.

How long did you give yourself with Josh?

I think too, but like, definitely a week to really just sit at home, eat chocolate, watch movies, cry, be surrounded by your friends, mope around. And then when you've set that date to just like start being normal again, you pick yourself up, you get dressed.

And you like put on your tightest little number.

And get a little number out there. And you're like, because people see breakups as really like sad and negative, but actually if you turn around your turn that mindset around, they can be great. Like, your life has so many opportunities. Now you have opportunities to do things that maybe you couldn't have done.

So one door closes, another one opens.

Number four, So this is pretty much on that, find the lesson in the breakup and work on yourself.

Yeah, so every breakup that we go through, there's a lesson that we have to learn, right, Yes, what was your.

My most recent one was, Yeah, you can't change someone. Yeah, they're thirty five years of That makes them who they are.

You can't come along and try and change them.

You just have to accept people for who they are and.

They can't change you, like you have to stay true to yourself. So yeah, and when that happens and you're trying to change someone, you, yeah, it's not healthy.

Yeah, it becomes unhealthy.

And then you focus on that thing that you think that they could do differently.

Yeah. Yeah, I honestly think that that's my lesson too. I'm not trying to coffee, but that's genuinely how I feel like you can't change someone if someone said in their ways or they're going to do things on their own terms and not specifically how you'd like it or want it, like, that's it is what it is.

And I think you find a lot of peace when you realize that you can't change them and you realize that that's who they are.

So and maybe you're just not right together. Maybe that's not.

It comes to mind. Can you live with that?

Or can you not get under to get over? What do you think of this one you handling?

Yeah, I think it can work.

I obviously think that sometimes this sounds ship, but sometimes you're maybe just filling a hole and you could be twying with someone else's emotions.

You've but if it's casual and you make that clear, then get under to get.

Yeah, I mean I think it could sometimes work. I haven't had it work yet for me, really, No, have you had it work?

I mean I think so? Yeah, So after I broke up, just to.

Clarify, I get under means have sex with something we.

Need to clarify, We need to clarify.

Okay, look, I would say, yes, it did work for me, So I was so immersed in my relationship with Josh and with ex boyfriends as well before and I think a couple of weeks after, which was kind of soon, but I think because Josh had like a couple of days after our breakup, got under, got on top or whatever. Anyway, I think I think a couple of weeks after we broke up, I got under with like a someone who I had previously been seen.

And he knew it was just casual or yeah, And I.

Think it reminded me that there is a world full of men out there and Josh is not the only guy on the planet, and I really needed to be reminded of that in that moment in like my breakup for the starting like really hard parts of the breakup, and I was like, after cooking up with him, I was like, actually, I'm gonna be fine, Like this is this is okay. There's so many great guys out there, and I'm about to go meet them.

To get under, to get over.

No, no, no, don't like that.

I never found it to work. I haven't known. Maybe it's different different people. I think it's just a void.

That's I think it was just a good reminder I.

Would rather have someone lay in bed with me and watch a movie and you're very needy. Those moments make me feel like I'm getting over someone, that there is that out there.

That comes easy, that side of things.

So you're saying sex comes easy, but like emotion and connection doesn't.

Doesn't.

So that's what you crave.

Yes, that's the way of putting it. Yeah, so I craved that.

And does that mean you would go back to XES because you have that?

I mostly come back for that, Okay, yes, interesting because that's.

What I feel. Yeah, more, more feels It makes me feel better. You feel more fulfilled, fun filled with that than just a casual full cup.

Okay, I mean probably since mine's was like not an X with someone I had been seeing before, Josh, maybe it was fulfilling that in some way. Who knows. Okay, moving on. So number six is make an empowering playlist, which is literally one of my favorite things to do.

And after we wrote this list, I actually found myself in a situation where I was feeling a bit down about the current situation I was in with the breakup yep, And I was on a drive and I put on one of my favorite songs and I started singing it as loud as I could, because I remember you were saying that when you sing out loud, it stimulates some nerve or something.

Yeah, so when you sing loudly, it stimulates your vagus nerve, which actually helps reduce anxiety. So it's one of those amazing things and tools that you can use when you're stressed. And obviously singing and music can take you to a really happy place, a sad place, or anything in between. So music's great for that. But then when it stimulates the vagus nerve, you're actually helping reduce your stress. So you win.

What's your favorite song to belt out?

I mean, The Best Thing I Never Had by Beyonce is like a serious breakup healing song. And then there's also another one. It's Bright Blue Skies by Mitch James.

You put your Spotified list, maybe we should. We should write a break up Spotified list for everyone else.

I already have one. I head straight to it even when, even sometimes in a situationship ends, I'll just pop it on and I'll be like, actually, Phili heaps better. Okay. Number seven, I do this one.

If your heart muscle is hurting, put your other muscles in pain.

That's a good one. That's a really good one.

Yeah.

So that means going to gym, going to training, getting.

Fit, getting fit, helping your mental health with.

Well it releases in doorphins correct, and it's.

Like works doubly because you're making yourself look fit, you're making yourself look better.

So when you hit the singer ready to me, you're looking on point, you're looking on point.

Yeah.

Well if your heart muscle's in pain, you should, you know what I mean, Let's let's be in pain everywhere. Let's put all our muscles through the ring.

Ah.

Yeah. Number eight book a holiday.

So obviously this one would be handy if we weren't in.

The climate with Coronavu.

Yeah, the climate we were in.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean to go on a plane. You could drive somewhere, you could obviously you could think of something else as a holiday.

Like I went to Talkie with my friends and it was the best thing that I had done.

Look, so that doesn't work now.

It could be getting out just doing stuff that you wouldn't normally do, going on a drive, your talking, going on a day trip. And then it comes back to making new memories and just.

A change of scenery. I feel just elevates your mood. So yeah, like you said, even if you can't fly anywhere, just to change the scenery, go somewhere new. It could even be like a new restaurant, but somewhere an hour outside of where you are living. It honestly makes a difference, just to change your scenery, to be away from people who you normally see.

They don't go places that you went with your ex partners.

That's it's a strong from us. Okay, number nine, I think this one's good.

I think this son's good therapy.

So if you don't have mates, family, which I rely heavily on, even if you do, even if you do, because they might get sick and tired of fearing.

I know, I know my mom does.

I don't I feel bad. I take that bad.

Sick and tired of hearing what she did this to me? Why do I feel like this? Go to therapy. Seek out professional help, even if it is just calling a lifeline. If you don't can't afford to go see someone, just talk to a professional. Get some help that will help you get through the breakup.

It makes such a difference. They give you so many tools. They change your perspective on things. So it's always beneficial and like, if you can and have the means to do so, go to therapy. It's it's a winning it is, it's a winning formula. And what's our last one?

Live by the rule what's for you won't go past you.

This is like key, I genuinely, in my deepest heart of hearts, believe that what is meant for us will find us. If we break up with the person who were meant to be with, they'll find a way back to us. And honestly, I sleep easy at night living by that rule.

It goes from more than breakups, like your jobs, It goes for different everything. If it's meant to be, it will find its way to you.

And you know, sometimes when when I think back, like think of breakups, like early breakups, when I was really heartbroken, before I really knew how to deal with them, and I had this mentality of I'll never get over this, like my life will never be the same, my life

My ex, who I thought I was my endgame, who I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, a couple of years ago, she broke up with me.

I say, out of the blue.

I thought that we were going to work on things, and she didn't want to, so she broke up with me, and I literally thought it was like the end of my life. I thought that, like, there's no coming back from this, I'll never love again.

I do think that though, ra I do.

But in saying that, ten days later, I got a message from the producers of Love Island.

Wow.

They asked me if I wanted to try out and go through the casting things.

So turn of events exactly.

So, and then if I was still with her, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't you know what I mean. I wouldn't be in the situations I'm in. So everything happens for a reason, right, you know, like it might feel at the end of the world at that moment, but like, just remember that one door closes and something else is going to open.

The door opens always.

Yeah, all right, guys, I hope those tips helped I know that Anna's empowering playlist definitely helped me through my most recent breakup of a situation ship.

We're going to link that on our where's your head at pod at page. If you're not listening, give that a listen. Guys. We also are a small podcast, so we would love it if you could give us a five star rating. It really means the world to us. If you're going through a breakup, we're thinking of you. We know it's really hard and we're sending you all of our love. Stay strong until next time, guys. Bye,