I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.
She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing style?
Boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a trash bin. He's non recyclable catching her.
I love being love. I love love.
On today's episode of Where's Your Head Out, we are talking about our very first loves.
We will be discussing how we knew we had found love or felt love, and how it felt to break up.
Stay tuned to hear who we consider to be our very first loves. Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.
This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more. Hello, Math, Yesana, how are you today? What's going on?
I'm really excited because Matt and I have the most scandalous story that we can finally tell you. We've been sitting on this literally since the start of our podcast launch.
I'm quite nervous. I've got my I'm looking around. I don't know if we could be telling this story, but let's do it anyway. How were that? Fuck?
It? This is a lot of tea all in one. So pre meeting Michael, I hooked up with this guy one night. He was a lawyer, and I told Matt's ex girlfriend at the time that I had hooked up with him. That's it, that's all I'm giving you. Now over to no All.
I'll set the scene. I'm picking Anna up. We're coming into the studio to record another episode of Where's Your Head At? And I go, you know what, I need a caffeine here. The three coffees I've already had today are not hitting the spot. I need another one. So Anna lives close or on the same street as that ex that she just spoke about my most recent X and I'm like, oh, that offee shop. I know it's a good one that made me good coffees for like the whole of a year for me. I'm going to
go there. And I was like, but there's a chance that she might be there, And I'm like, you know what, fifty to fifty chance. If she's walking the ten she goes to another one. If she's walking Olbert Parks, she goes to this one. And what are the chances that our schedules and the timing is going to a line.
So Matt decided to roll the dice and I walk in.
Everything's fine, and then I heard that infamous laugh and I swear to God, the fucking hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I'm like, you've done this to yourself, Maddie boy. You may as well just pay the piper. You've done it to yourself. So I say, hey, how you being. We get chatting, nothing on towards, just little chats here and there, and then saying how we are, what's been going on? Just you know, civil, which I was surprised about. That's good, yeah, always good, I'm a
civil person. Yeah. She'd gone on to tell me that she'd seen someone and he was a lawyer. My ears perked up and I was like, a lawyer, you say, knowing that Anna had hooked up with a lawyer like over a year ago. So I was like, is it the same guy that Anna hooked up with? And she said yes, and I was like, oh, fair enough, Okay, I guess that's, you know, something out of my business. And I don't give a fuck who you're kissing, you
know what I mean, It's not my problem. And then she said interestingly I actually asked him to write Cease and Desist against your podcast, and I was like, what, what, why would you do that? And then she was like, oh, you just mentioned me by name a couple of times. And I was like, yeah, but it was nothing bad, Like I was just telling my side of what happened and all this sort of stuff, and she said, yeah, it was actually the infertility episode that pissed her off
the most. And I was like, that had nothing to do with you. That was about my infertility, and all we laughed about it. We went our own ways, and then I went back to the car and I told you all about it, and we just had a laugh and we're like, yah, oh, you know, it is what it is. What it is unpredictable. Who knows them.
I that same week went out to bar Bambi with my girlfriends and this guy, this lawyer, just happened to be there, which was very weird timing because I haven't seen him probably since the night I hooked up with him.
So over a year ago.
And then I had just found out that information that Matt's ex had been dating him for six months officially yeah, and that he had written our podcast to season desist, So of course, me being me, I was like, I want to ask this guy about this, like I'm shocked that he would do this because we got along really well. So anyway, he actually sent a round of drinks over to our table.
What were they?
Just some cocktails to the girls and me, which I immediately messaged Michael and was like, there's a boy sending me cocktails and I did kiss him one night.
Nice honest, did you take his cocktail? Well?
I mean I didn't want to like stop the other girls from getting free drinks. I just obliged. But anyway, he actually and came and sat down at our table and was like do you want.
To come and join You don't take the drink, so.
He was like do you want to come join us at like a bigger booth that he had, and I was like, no, we'll be okay. But interestingly, I did hear that you dated Matt's X And he was like, oh, very short period of time, like not very long. And I was like, I also heard that you wrote my podcast to cease and desist and he was like how do you know that? And I was like because Matt's X told him? And then Matt told me, and he like, I'm not even kidding. I wish I could have made
this up, Like you couldn't even write this shit. He then said to me, well, you didn't reply back to my text message, so when she asked me to write it up, of course I was going to write it up. And I was like, so basically I ghosted you. So now I'm being punished with a seasoned assist. I mean yeah, I was just kind of wondering, like, what is the ethics of that? Like, is that ethical? I don't know, where's your head out? Fam? Let me know.
Look, is this a warning for everyone? Be careful who you ghost.
Be careful who you date. Definitely don't ghost a lawyers. You could have some legal documents coming your way. And on that note, let's jump into today's episode.
Okay, I know we're talking today about first love.
Yeah.
Could be a sad or could be a happy topic. Really, it depends what way people are coming from. Tell me a little bit about your first love.
Okay, So I was fresh eighteen, he was fresh eighteen. I was a host at the nightclub. He was a DJ. He was very charming, very good looking. I fell very hard, very quickly, and I think we dated on and off for about a year. It was very all over the place, very filled with lots of highs and lows and emotions and yeah.
How did you know that this was the first time you're feeling love?
So I did have a boyfriend before that who I had lost my virginity to. I had seen a couple of guys in between, but I think this was the guy who I just felt this overwhelming feeling of connectedness with. I guess he just kind of consumed all of my thoughts. I think it was also the first time I had sex and just had this overwhelming feeling of love. He also felt the same. He told me he loved me first. I said it back. It just felt really right right away.
I think after about two months. Yeah, so you know, pretty average, pretty normal time frame. But yeah, he was just like, in my eyes the bee's knees.
So what was the main sign that you'd fallen in love with him? Then?
I think it was that I would have just done anything for him. I just absolutely adored him. I just was totally consumed and just.
Yess with him. How'd you break up with him? Then?
Yes, I've actually told this story on our cheating episode, but I'm going to tell it again because it's very relevant because this guy was my first love. So basically, he used to run parties at schoolies. Being DJ, I dropped him off at the airport to go to Byron Bay for schoolies. He was away for seven days. I then picked him up from the airport. I remember he got in the car after being away at schoolies and he just like kept looking at me, and I was like,
what is it? Like what yeah and so, and then he started getting really teary and being like I just love you so much, Like I don't think I even like have felt this before. I've never experienced this level of love, Like I'm just so obsessed with you. And then two months later I actually found out that he cheated on me at schoolies. What a dickhead, Yeah, and he fully broke my heart, Like that was my first
ever proper heartbreak. I was eighteen, and he ended up like admitting that he had sex with six girls in seven days. I remember he had a hickey on his neck that actually I didn't see it at the time. I think this happened on like day one, and the person who told me that he had cheated on me had a photo of the hickey and his response was, Oh my god, did I forget to tell you? I got into a fight and I fell on my neck, and I was like, do I look stupid to you?
Like I come on, you say your mate gave it to you.
I don't know, but anyway, it's funny because like now, like obviously, as your reaction was, it sounded really cute like him doing that, and I was like, oh my god, I love him so much. That's so sweet. But I think his reaction was the deep feeling of guilt and regret that I had dropped him at the airport picked him up, and like he's obviously feeling really guilty about it. So it didn't end well for me. It was very heartbreaking.
How did this impact you going forward with other future people? When your first love has cheated on you must have hurt.
I mean, it definitely left me with a whole load of trust issues from a very early age, Like I was so trusting of him. I remember dropping him at the airport and people saying to me, aren't you worried he's gonna cheat on me? And I was like, no, why would I be worried about that? Like He's not gonna cheat on me, Like I just had no concept that people could be so callous and mean.
He's not that stupid, he knows better.
But yeah, I remember, like I have this very strong memory. I was driving to work. I think I had only known for probably about I think it was a week, and we stopped talking for that whole week, and I was just like totally heartbroken, and I remember like driving to work crying, listening to this really sad song Ham's on the steering wheel, like balling my eyes out, and I remember saying out loud to myself in the car,
I will never get over this. I will never get over this, Like I just remember saying it, and truly, to my core, I believed it. Like I was, like, this has rocked me and I will never move on from this.
And naturally you have, and you've fallen in love many times since then. But I think, though, God, yeah, but I think that first love breakup, especially in that circumstance, is very hard.
Very hard to get over it. And I think, like, if you're listening to this and you know you might be trying to get over a first love, and you might be like, it's impossible. It doesn't happen. I think the great thing about experience and life, experience and dating is that you realize that you do get over that first love. It's a huge hurdle to get over, and it's such a growth and learning experience. But once you do get over it, everything becomes a lot easier from that point moving.
It's almost like a stage you need in your life to grow, Yeah, to develop.
But Matt, tell me about your first love.
My first love was with a girl and we dated from sixteen to my actual eighteenth birthday. Wow, so a bit like yours. We broke up on my eighteenth birthday. I mentioned this on a previous episode. I cheated on her. Right, So I went out and on my eighteenth went to a nightclub and just kissed a bunch of random girls, which meant nothing to me. It was like one of your young relationships. So we were in that like were we together, were we're not together? Stages like I don't know, so long ago now.
Yeah, what do you think it was that made you cheat on her?
I think it was because growing up I was never the like the best looking kid. I had like acne, buck teeth, all this sort of stuff. And then around like nearly coming to my eighteenth birthday, seventeen, probably in like nine months, I started to like lose my acne. My face started to like form into this structured thing you see before you now, and like I started to get and I started to get like an overwhelming like
I leaned up. I started to get this overwhelming tenh from girls, and I just was like, whoa, well, like you know what I mean? And I was young, eighteen. I don't know what to do with that, you know what I mean, Like you've just got my license. I'm in a nightclub. I'm pissed as all these girls that are older than mere showing me attention. I just, yeah, cave. I do regret it. But like I said before, it's a part you need of your life that growing up and makes you mature.
It's interesting because like you're the cheater and I was the cheaty, so we're both different sides of the spectrum. But I think a lot of young loves kind of end in this deceit, which is really sad.
Yeah, it's a lot of people thinking, well, it's the grass greener out there. What am I missing out on? I love this person, but like I'm young is this what I want to do for the rest of my life? Yeah, Like, and I think they just realize that once they've cheated and that that it's it's not like you do love the person you're with, and the glass is not greener on the other side.
How did you know it was love between you guys, because obviously you were young, it was your first kind of serious girlfriend. When did you know that you loved her for years?
Like I wasn't really interested in any other girl, Like I've never been like that growing up, and like I've put all my energy into her and like was just obsessed with her.
How does that love, like your first love, differ from other loves that you've had since.
I think the main difference is that when you're that young, the only thing you have to worry about is like each other. Like now you know, like there's like bills, work, hobbies, everything that you've got going on. But back then it was just you're at school. What do you have to worry about, like an exam? Yeah, it's just the two of you. So a lot of people define first love in different ways. They say, it's like your puppy love, it's your my strongest love. How would you define first love? Anna?
Okay, So this love, I guess for me is kind of like that fairy tale love. It's that all consuming puppy love. At the time, I think, you think it's gonna last forever. You hope it's gonna last forever, but
it rarely does. Often we experience our first love in high school whomen were pretty young, and usually it ends just because two people I either grow apart or they have some sort of trivial argument and the relationship just isn't strong enough to withstand those kind of like milestones that you go through in relationships just because you have so much growth to do.
Right, Well, yeah, I mean like when mine ended, I was eighteen, and I was like upset and sad about it, But at the same time, I was like, one door's close and literally another one is opened, So I was like, all right, time to go through this door. And why is your first love so important? Then?
Look, it definitely affects the way you approach your future relationships. As I said before, it's definitely a learning curve. Once you've experienced something so amazing and beautiful like falling in love for the first time, then you're likely to continue to chase that feeling. And I guess as you go through more and more relationships, you start to realize what you like, what you don't like, what is a non negotiable for you, and what you're willing to compromise on.
Is that the major reason why people are hung up on their first love long after the relationship is ended.
I mean potentially, like if you've not found someone who you think is as compatible with you as your first love, then yeah, like of course you're going to hold onto that. And I mean my first love, I feel like I held onto him for a long time after that relationship ended. Yeah, one hundred percent.
Do you think that's because you're so heartbroken from what he did or just because.
Yeah, I think it was because I was so burned. I actually ended up having like a beautiful six year relationship with my first serious boyfriend. And after that relationship finished, I remember I saw my first love out at the club. He wasn't djaying that he was out, and then we ended up going home together. But like we just talked all night, Like we didn't have sex or anything. It
was just like we made out. Oh yeah, like we kissed, but that was it and we just like stayed in bed together and just like spoke all night, and I remember it was so funny because like, because he hurt me so much, I think I put him. Although I hated him and had so much anger and resentment towards him, I think I also accidentally put him on this pedestal where I was like, was anything ever as good as him?
And like I guess maybe throughout, like my relationships after that, I had this what if kind of feeling or I was like, what if it did work out with him? So anyway, when I had that opportunity after a long term relationship, obviously I took it, and I you know, we spoke all night, and even when I kissed him,
that spark in like chemistry was definitely still there. But I just I don't know, Like I woke up the next day and I remember thinking, if I was to never speak to you again, I'm gonna be okay with it.
And now I guess, like hanging out with him, even although it was so good, we just like we still you know, fell back into that like me and him kind of vibe and we could just like easily talk and everything like that, like nothing was wrong because it's yeah, it was just but I kind of I feel like because I was able to have that experience, I took him off that pedestal that I had put him on for so many years, and I was able to get rid of that what if.
So that was almost like closure.
It was closure for sure, And so that's I guess why the reason I didn't feel like the need to have sex with him, or like I didn't really want to like kind of open account of work to go back to describe it, but like, yeah, and I think like leaving his house, I was just like okay, like i can move on with my life and I'm never going to be like what if, Like what if he didn't cheat on me at school? Is could we have been together forever?
M Well, that's good that you got that closure from that first love. I'd say I didn't really need it from mine. She's now recently got engaged, like in the last year, and to see her doing well, I think if we'd stay together, she wouldn't be as happy as she is now and I wouldn't be the person I am now either, So so you know it was meant it was meant to be. Yeah, I've done so much experiences in my life that like make me who I am and fine who I am, and I love who
I am. So I'm happy that we broke up when we did.
I'm actually like, it's so nice that we're both over our first loves. But so many people do hold on to them and maybe haven't had that opportunity to kind of explore and like they might still have that what if kind of question mark over that person's head. So let's talk about signs that you should have stayed with your first love or maybe that you want to get back together with them.
Okay, so the first one is pretty obvious, but you both still have feelings for each other.
Yeah. When we say that, we mean both, like, not one, not one, definitely both.
Yeah. So if you both do, I think that you should communicate to each other and express that because that's pretty important.
Yeah, you still communicate openly, so you've never really lost contact. You always kind of see yourself being magnetized back to one another.
Falling back into each other's life. You think about them when you're with someone else, so you compare your new partner to them.
Is that a thing? Though? Do guys when they're having sex with someone think about someone else. Have you ever done that?
No, I think that's a whole other episode. Yeah, guys, do that.
Have you done that?
Not in recent times, but like I haven't the passed Yeah wow. But I mean like you're comparing the relationship style to the previous ones, so you're like, oh, well you do this, but my they did that, So like it's different and it's not good, but you shouldn't do that. Each relationship is different.
Yeah. I think along the way your connection has continued to grow even though you're not together necessarily. I think if things still feel like they're progressing and evolving, you.
Feel extremely comfortable when you're around them.
Yeah, that's a big one. It's hard to feel really comfortable around someone, and I think when you find those people, you do tend to want to hold onto them because it's just that level of comfortability safety as well. Safety. Yeah, that's right. Another one is you have a gut feeling you should be together. We always say this, always listen to your gut. It's such a big one, and we forget sometimes we get confused with the head and the heart.
But I feel like the gut feeling is always leading you to the right path.
The reason you broke up was due to situational circumstances rather than not being compatible.
So what would that be like if someone had to move away, go away to a different country.
Yes, had like their work was too much? Sure, stuff like that, you.
Had incredible sex. I'm sure right now everyone's thinking of that one person who they had amazing sex with, who they'd want to go back for around two.
Yeah, that's definitely something that you want to hold on to. Incredible sex. You call each other for support even though you guys aren't together, they're still who you go to for emotional support.
Yeah, that's a big one. And finally, you've kept a hold of the sentimental things from the relationship. So whether that be car gifts, whatever it might be.
Pj's like personal jokes, stuff that like, yeah, stuff you shared together.
Yep. Okay, guys, it's that time of the show that you've all been waiting for. It's time for where's our head at? All? Right?
This is my favorite bit of the show Anna where we get to hear from you guys. You get to ask us where our heads are at. So we start off today with.
I am still stuck on my first love. Everyone I date never measures up. To the feeling I had with my first love. What do I do now? I want to have another go, but he has moved on with someone new.
Well, you're not a home wrecker, so I think the best thing is you do the right steps to move on.
Yeah, I think move on. I think when someone's in a new relationship, I just think it's wrong to disrupt that, and I think it's quite selfish.
What you should do is you should literally try everything you can book yourself holiday now, go to some life therapy, just to move on from that person, because you don't want to wreck that relationship he's in. He'll hate you even more.
Maybe, Yeah, hook up with other people distract yourself, and.
I'm not a believer in that. Yeah.
I No, you're not bad.
I don't think you can get under to get over.
I think get under to get over. And I think every time you catch yourself thinking about that guy, slowly move your thoughts to someone else, because it's just not healthy to obsess over someone.
Yeah. Okay, So our next listener says, I still don't think I had the first love moment. It's hard because I can only compare to a few relationships I've had. I'm now twenty five and I don't think I've even had my first love, let alone twin flame or soulmate. Help. Don't force it, dude, just like go with it and eventually they'll come into your life.
Yeah, I think you know what. Just be open if you are putting yourself into situations where you can be meeting new people. Make sure you're on dating apps and you're doing everything you can to put yourself out there.
Love comes in the craziest times, in the craziest places. Both Anna and myself we're not looking for our most recent relationships, and yet here we are. So Mac. Yeah, more of the story is put yourself in situations where you can find someone, and you will. I believe in you. Just don't force it. Okay, that's all we've got time for today. Do you feel like though you wouldn't be the girlfriend you are to Michael if you'd never had that heartbreak from your first love.
Absolutely, I would probably be a lot more sane and have a lot less trust issues.
Yeah, well that's true. Sorry, Michael, That fucking mister DJ's may've done this for you.
Okay, guys, make sure you keep on top of our socials. Please give us a five star review. It really helps our podcasts and until next time Catchure.
Bye.