"My Ex is Accusing Me of Cheating - HELP!" || HOTLINE

Welcome back to the Where's Your Head At?

Hotline, our weekly show where we catch up with each other and connect with.

You all on our hotline voicemail.

We want to hear from you, guys, so please send your stories, questions, advice or tea to Where's Your head at pod at gmail dot com to be featured on one of our episodes. I'm Anna and I'm Matt.

Let's jump in.

Good morning Anna, Good morning.

Back in the studio. It is freezing in Melbourne today.

It is very cold. It was a very cold weekend to be honest, Yeah, here I am in my shirt.

I don't know how you're doing that at all.

I run hot, I run hot. I put up a story on the weekend because I was like, am I the only person that has a fan on while they're like sleeping in the mids of winter?

Yeah.

I've heard it's actually good for your anxiety to sleep in cold. So maybe it's like subconsciously you're like, I'm so anxious, so I need the cold.

I think my mom said that she was so worried about me being overheating when I was a baby. She used to have me like really cold in like the crib, so I think that's what I'm used to when I sleep.

Now, now you just freeze yourself today.

I love freezing when I sleep. I love it. It makes me fall asleep like straight away.

Yeah, it is nice. Do I look hotder today?

I don't mind the denim on denim? But no, I didn't. Why what did you do?

Matt just gave me the stranger's look.

No, I'm ovulating, And apparently on the day that you ovulate, the flow app basically told me I'm ovulating. And on the day that you ovulate, you're meant to look hotter because you're meant to attract people.

Put the pheromones out there. Yeah. I wasn't sniffing at pheromones. Sorry, and I didn't smell anything, but sure pheromones.

I'm just saying visually, because apparently visually you do.

Sure. Yeah. What did Michael say when you woke up? Did? I'm sure? He said? Yeah?

He was like, fuck, yeah, you look way hotter. Results from Matt from that, So that's.

How science works. It works. It's true.

Interestingly, it's a year until I get married.

That's very exciting. Believe that said that before and we're going to be in hot Greece right now in a year in Europe, I'm excited for that.

Yeah, I know.

And also I think flights come out like one year before, so I think flights to Europe are officially on sale for that time. So yeah, you start looking, I think we should. I haven't even put out wedding invites. I realized, like, because I talk about the wedding with like my close friends and family, they all kind of know that they're coming.

They're going to be some people when the invites come out.

Yes, So people have been like talking to me about like, oh, I need to like start booking my flights to Greece, and I'm like, holy shit, they're not invited. And then it's awkward if someone said that to me and then I actually don't invite them. So then I'm like, fuck, am I just going to end up with like a wedding of one hundred?

You know?

It's my dream to have like fifty people max at my wedding.

I remember I was there with someone and I'm pretty sure they said they can't wait, and I was just like, oh, I don't think you're right.

It's so awkward.

So like maybe it's good that we're talking about this now, so no one gets.

Their hopes hopes even if you're an engagement party, why not getting.

In that's the idea of having a big engagement party, so then you have a smaller wedding.

Well that was why we had it.

People were literally when I had a big engagement party, people were saying to me like they thought it was a surprise wedding, and I was like, no, it's literally for the reason you just said.

It's because I don't want to have a big wedding.

So I'm like, let's celebrate with everyone, like even for me, Like it's literally going to be my four best friends, a few other friends and that's it. Like I'm not I'm not going out of my way to invite everyone who have been friends with So basically you're copying it in.

You'd assume, so you're assumed. So it's like on the one, O, yes, I I'll see it. That's fine.

Do you want to the wedding should do? You know what, there's been a few people who have asked to be the MC, who to MC yours my wedding?

Who would even be in the conversation.

Like there's been a few like my you're just saying this, So I pitched my argument a bit better.

But I think it's nanimous. I think it's pretty old.

I mean, if you want to give me like maybe you can do.

Like a I'm not going to use my material. I'm going to save it, but you can get the idea.

Maybe you can do an audition on the podcast to be to be the em of my wedding.

All right, all right, but I don't want to use my material.

Do you already have pre play?

Well no I haven't, but I don't want to waste it now on the podcast, Like you know what I mean? I want to not waste but I want to don't want to use I'll use it on the night. Yeah, I don't want to crack.

The last Now he's saving us.

We can play it afterwards on the podcast for sure, but do you know what I mean, I'm gonna save it.

We Speaking of the wedding, I actually took my best friends away on the weekend. We went down to Sorrento, and I asked them all to be my maids of honor?

Did you not maids of honor?

I asked them all to be my bridesmaids, and.

My maid of honor how'd you go about that?

So I wanted to make it sentimental. You appreciate a good sentimental gesture it and I wanted to make it very sentimental. So I wrote them all a hand written letter. Look, I thought it was like. I was like, this is so sweet.

You know what.

I don't write anymore with my hand, like I type with my fingers, like I'm not taking pen to paper anymore. And like after writing one letter, my hand was cooked. I had to write them days apart because my hand was like cramping.

Up to try and make them long as well, so they fit a whole page absolutely. Yeah. So I remember when I wrote letters to Jen when she went away, so she read one each night and I let wait to a lot. Yeah, when she was like doing the trail, so she had no phone or nothing so she could read them. I remember I started on like the last night before she left. And it's so hard, like you said, and I wanted to make whole pages worth so they they looked. I was like, oh my god, it's not as easy as you think.

My handwriting by letter four was just it was not as good as.

Like letter one. My handwriting was on point. I was like, I have great penmanship. By the end of it, I was like trying to write it as quickly as I can to get rid of Yeah, I joined my letters, dear.

I got my joining license. I've got that. Don't worry, but I don't. I don't use it. I don't use it.

That's so funny, you know what.

That's an Australian thing because I went to like primary school in the UK and we didn't have that. And then I came to Australia when I was in year seven, I think, and everyone's talking about this joining license and I'm like, what the fuck I'm unlicensed around She was like, the.

Teacher didn't pull you up, see your drivers, Like what.

Do you do? You like, whip it out if they're like I.

Can't remember, but I remember you stayed back like lunchtime and you had to write something for your teacher, and then you got your pen license that was first, and then your joining license was next.

It's like your driver's license for children.

Yeah, it was fucked.

Wild, but anyway, I wrote them all the letter, and then I also made them each like a photo book of all of our favorite memories together. And then I got them each a nine carrot gold diamond necklace because I was like, it felt like I was proposing. I was like, this is the only time I'm going to propose, Like I want to propose with a diamond, Like I was proposed to with a diamond.

I want to propose with the diamond.

So they each got like a really dainty, tiny little diamond necklace and it was very cute. So initially I was like, so I had the four bags and I was like, how the fuck am I going to do this? I took them all to Sorrento, and then I was My plan was to do it at the Peninsula Hot Springs because we had like a cute little dome, which if you go to the Hot Springs, get a dome.

It's so nice.

It was like I need to go there for a while.

Yeah, it's such a vibe. It's just chill.

It's like I feel like you're doing something good for your health, especially after Saturday night drinking. Going to the Peninsula Hot Springs, my hangover was gone like in about ten seconds because I jumped in a cold pool and was like just like scared me into like soberness. But anyway, Sarah, my friend, picked me up. We went to a hunter's market. I did a hunter's market because I've been getting rid of everything because I'm just like, how much did I sell?

What do you mean how much? Yeah?

I sold most of it, and then everything after I went to the charity because I was like, everything is going if this yeah, if I've brought it to this market, then it's like it's gone. But anyway, Sarah picked me up from the hunter's market and I had my four bags with me, and then she obviously saw them, so I was like, fuck it, I'm just gonna like. I set up my camera in the car and I was like, I want to give you something, and she like, she's my maid of honor and she burst out crying. It

How did you come to the conclusion that says dog was going to be the maid of honor? I mean the other.

Yeah, the girls over the other the other girls, you know what. I think. It's just it was a really hard decision.

Initially, I thought I was just gonna do all bridesmaids, but you know, Sarah is one of my longest friends. She literally made like a full spreadsheet for the engagement party. She was like so helpful and just like you know what, like going out of her way, and you know, I think she's one of my longest friends and I love her, and I just thought that it was the right decision.

Not to take away from you, Sarah, but no, but you.

Know what I mean, Like I don't want the other girls to feel bad, but then I also want to celebrate Sarah as my.

Maid of honor. It's just like I'm trying to find the happy medium.

It's hard, isn't it.

But it's hard. But I think the other girls will when.

They eventually, like you know, get engaged and want to pick their bridesmaids. Imagine if some of them choose their sisters or they don't want the whole group, that's a more challenging decision.

I've been very open about who my groom's an eye, and as they swap over, I send them a message and say you've just taken over. Congratulations, you just got and then sorry, mate, you've just been subbed out for blah blah, do this, do this to move back in.

Nuh, that's like blackmailing his friends.

Now, whenever we drink and we have like DMS, I always say it. I always say who's who? I think that's better than like at the eleventh hour picking then, like everyone's sort of like, is it going to be me? Is it going to be me? Yeah?

Well it's funny because like obviously my TikTok algorithm is very much on like bridesmaids and you know that type of thing and wedding talk and all of that. And there's this girl who was like, if someone asks you to be a bridesmaid, you need to be friends with them for a minimum of five years, because like, I just got asked to be a bridesmaid by this random girl from my work and it was really uncomfortable and it was the worst thing I've ever done and don't

Sady, So I'm happy all as well.

So you're at the Hot Springs. How's up? Yeah.

So basically we had a night in Sorrento, and then I still had the three bridesmaids that I hadn't told, so Sarah knew the night before, and then Sarah helped me plan it. So we literally like smoke bottbs of the girls on Sunday morning, set everything up at the hot spring.

So we had the little dome and then they came in in their.

Robes and then I was like surprise, and they read their letters and they all cried.

It was beautiful. It was really nice.

I feel like people don't talk about these moments, like when I was saying to you before, like you know, I've been proposed to by Michael, but I was like I never thought what I'd get to propose to someone, but I did. I got to propose my bridesmaids and my maid of honor. So it was very cute and like this. They took like thirty minutes to actually get to the Peninsula Hot Springs and to the dome, and like I was freaking out, like.

I was sweating.

I had like a what is it a sweaty apper lip, Like I was like a slu like. I was like, you know what I mean, I was waking out. I didn't get on one knee, but I got on my I just sat down and we all sat in a little circle. It's also going to be on my socials eventually excited to see. Yeah, it's cute. It's a very cute moment.

But anyway, it was a big weekend for me.

Yeah, you sound like you had a full on weekend. It was go go go. How was drinking on Saturday nights if you're hungover?

You said, Oh, I was a little hungover.

I I don't know, like some you know, when you just like get together with all of your friends and you're just like loving life. And we had a few wines me and says he shared like a bottle and then we were like do we get another bottle? And then Laura ended up coming and she came and helped us finish the next bottle, and I just got really drunk really quick, and I was like, whoa.

It's so easy to escalate, isn't it. I remember I spoke last week he had any thought about dry July.

You know what, I'm kind of into it, and like, to be fair, there's been a lot of interest on the Facebook page, on the where's your head at them? Facebook page, you guys are keen, and so I'm kind of like, well, fuck if everyone else is keen, I'm keen.

I got sold by my family. They're like, yeah, go do it, but they're not going to donate to the end. They're like, we're not going to like donate at the start if we do a charity thing for it, if we raise money, and then like the going to reward you, yeah at the end for me just to pay fifty dollars to have a coffee out drinking night. They said, you've got to do it the whole time before we think about it.

But I was like, I know you too well.

Yeah, they know me too well. Like you said, when you're with your mates and you're with them, it just fucking escalates so quickly, doesn't it. Yeah, it's just so much fun social drinking.

But do you know what though, I said to the girls. I was like, I'm like, don't get me any more drinks. I'm drunk, and then somehow I ended up with another drink.

So I was like, technically, it's not my fut it's not your fault.

Someone puts to drink in front of you. I'm a massive advocate for don't waste alcohol. I have these beers because I'm back at mums and they were been there since before I left, and they're like just about to expire. And I'm like, normal person, just like drinking what's thrown out.

Why are you even an advocate for not wasting alcohol?

Because it's alcohol. It's there for a reason. It's to be drunk.

That's see, that's not the same mindset.

Wow, on the weekend, I didn't touch a drop of alcohol. I had a very folesome weekend.

Yes, you look better than you did last week.

I'm not gonna lie fucking demons.

That's smiling.

He's a bit chipper, i am, But I'm still skipped into the studio.

I still feel burnt out though. You know, my weekend consisted of like sleepings, walks, coffee, pasta, horror movies. I had the most wholesome, beautiful weekend That does.

Sound blissful, but it was sound blissful.

But yeah, I still feel a little bit burnt out. You know, when you're so relaxed you don't want to come back to life, to the podcast, to work, to everything. You're just like I just want to relax, you know what I mean. Yeah, So it was good weekend, you know what.

I've been feeling burnt out too.

And we had this conversation because I called Matt like just before we arrived at the podcast, and I was like, hey, are feeling Dane. He's like, I had a really relaxing weekend, very burnt out, and I was like.

Same, Like why are we so burnt out?

Just go, go go. I think my mind never relaxes as well. Like I noticed on the weekend, something I've brought up before is like I'm enjoying what I'm doing, but then it makes my mind go like fuck, this is going to end soon, do you know what I mean? Like just what I was doing, like watching movies and I'm like, fuck, this is going to end. I'm like, and then I get so stressed out in my own head. I'm like, fuck, this is gonna like and I don't

You can also do some meditation things that help you to be more present on YouTube.

Just look them up. I think that would be really good for you.

If anyone else has any tips, like fire and on our Facebook page or dm me privately, just so I know, because I'm really bad at bat. I think with it my whole life, to be honest. Just yeah, living in the moment.

Yeah, it's so hard, Like not a lot of people are living in the moment. I mean we I always talk about like you need three things in life that you're looking forward to to be happy.

That's not exactly living in the moment.

And yeah, I guess it's just about like making sure that your reality is a happy place and just like trying to just I mean, I'm in the moment right now, in the podcast, What.

Are you thinking about? You think about your toasting that you're going to have after.

Yeah, and then the next podcast are going to do and everything like that. I'm constantly thinking, I'm like, what am I doing when I get home? Like, yeah, it's just always stuff is always I'm alos thinking in the future, and I always forget to enjoy that moment that.

We're in, celebrate the small winds that.

Yeah, I've got to learn. I keep saying I've got to learn, but I've I've definitely got to I've got to learn. I tried to. On the weekend. I went into I went for a walk around the local lake. I didn't have headphones on because I wanted to enjoy the moment and what I was doing. And then I got to the lake and I decided to go in, and.

They saw that that looks really nice.

It was, but even then I was still worried, like just thinking about everything else. I've just got to be so like mindful of my inner thoughts and where I'm at.

But even when you're cold plunging into a lake, you're thinking about other shit.

How I'm thinking about, like how freezing your body is.

Well, it sort of distracted me from how cold I was, do you know what I mean? It sort of took away and I was sort of thinking about other things. But then again, you sort of want to like live in that moment, enjoy that freezing cold.

Well, where are you up to with your ADHD and like getting diagnosed and all of that.

Well, I'm pretty sure this has something to do with that, that not living in the moment. Thinking that, I'm like, I'm pretty sure it would. I have booked in to see the psychiatrist, so I'm amazing waiting it's in there. I don't know if anyone else is going through the same process as I am, but they're booked out like months in advance. Like, yeah, it's pretty bad. I've got a slot with someone canceled, so I'm in like five weeks, six weeks, I'm going in.

That's a long time away.

It's a very long time. So but I'm I mean, I'm educating myself at the same time, but I would like to still talk to someone, like, you know, and get the yeah, to get the clarity that I need and maybe medication if that's the right way to go.

Well, it'll still be you, You'll just feel maybe a bit more clarity.

Yeah.

True, I mean it's it's totally like you. If you want to try it, try it and just see how you feel.

That's a good point. So that's what my mum said. I mean, when the psychiatrists from the one of the shows I've casted for, she said, do I want to do an ADHD test on you? She's like, do you mind? I was like, well, I've lived, I've lived so long the way I am like, do I need to know? Like? Was that when I was like, I like, I don't know, but I'm happy to go and check it out and like, you know, get that clarity, like you.

Said, yeah, absolutely.

Do you have any recommendations for this week?

Okay, So I'm a huge vander Pump rules watcher, Like I have loved this show since the moment it came out.

It's a reality.

Teacher, tell us more. What is it about?

Based in America Lisa vander Pump who's on the Real Housewives. It's kind of like a spin off show from her restaurant, sir, And it's all about all of the weight stuff because they have crazy, manic, fucked up lives and they're all fucking each other's partners and it's nuts.

Anyway, you can make.

A TV show out anything. You might see some.

Crazy to go.

So anyway, there is a main character in this show called Tom Sandoval who has been in a relationship with a girl called Ariana for nine years. Anyway, he cheats on Ariana with her best friend. And the latest episode, Yeah, Drama Central, I'm sure you would have seen it online. It's gone like full blown viral this whole situation. They've called it scandalvole because his name is Sandoval, but they've

Have I done?

Like it's so it's just I was in awe of just the whole episode.

It was crazy.

And then they're so obviously he's been having an affair with her best friend, and he like goes to the best friend's house and like they start like saying they love each other, and it's just like what the fuck? Yeah, so the girl's best friends and they're telling each other they love each other.

It's just so twisted and so fucked up.

Is it up today? Or can you binge the whole thing?

What do you mean?

Like is it all out?

So yeah, binge it all it's on? How you Holy fuck? It's like it's just fucked. Like it's so fucked it's so twisted to think someone could do that to you, Like Michael and I started getting anxious watching it. Michael's like, never fucking do this to me.

Never fuck my best friend. I was like, you know fuck mine.

Like it's just so true on so many levels because of the realness of it. So that's my recommendation. If you're a vand of Pumbrules fan, you know exactly what I'm talking about.

Still real.

Oh, it's it's very real.

So it's not contrived, no, because I think that The Real Housewives or whatever it is is very contrived. When I watched it.

It's very fucking real. Like they have the couple who he like cheated on her. They have a final conversation and like then he's having a meltdown because it's a final conversation. It's just like it's cooked. It's so cooked, and it just like it makes you just feel.

Like, fuck, life is good because fuck imagine dealing with that. Just imagine.

Yeah, well they put themselves in their own situation, so they've only got theirselves to blame.

Yeah, But like he talks about how he turned forty and like just has like a kind of like midlife crisis somewhere and felt.

Like she was washed up.

Yeah, he was felt like he was washed up and felt like you know he isn't. You know, like every sleep with someone who is attracted to again and all of this shit and it's just like so interesting to hear about it because you're like, fuck, like, am I going to feel like that when I'm forty? Like is a forty a forty year? Like when you turn forty and you have a midlife crisis? Is shit going to hit the fan? Because like Michael's thirty four, I'm like,

I think you can trust your best friends and Michael that they're not going to do that. But yeah, that is worrying if you have like a midlife crisis. Hopefully mine is I just buy a Ferrari or something.

You have the cash, Yeah, that way.

Not go fuck around my wife's best friend. But I think that like, yeah, everyone has a little midlife crisis in their own way.

I feel, oh yeah, and at different times people are having midlife crisis. Is at thirty now, because they hit thirty and they you know, they don't have a house and they don't have the car that they thought they'd have, and they don't have the kids or the husband and all of it, and people it's a thing now that people are talking about, like people are having midlife crisises in their thirties early thirties because they're just not where

Going to be booked in for your mid life crisis.

Fuck. I mean I have them every second week.

Hopefully we have the podcast so we can touch on it. We can watch it take Flace episode by episode, So definitely.

Still have the podcast here for life.

I we can see it like episode by episode and it's just break down mid life. You dog very entertaining, very entertaining that I think.

This is our own, very own reality.

Well, my recommendation is watching something as well. So well, let's be honest. I actually had a mental blank before we came into tonight.

Said what is it?

I should always run down but I forget. But I have one as well. It's not the actual one that I have, So if I remember, I'll do something with it. I'll track it on the Facebook page. But I think that we're in like winter now, like we said, I had a wholesome weekend. If you guys want some encouragement to do it. I don't know, are you a fan of The Fast and Furious Is?

I actually don't mind them, to be honest.

Yeah, yeah, I think that everyone that says they're ridiculous they just don't get it.

They don't get it.

They don't get it, they don't get it what they're trying to do. They're meant to be ridiculous, Like, yes they go to space, Yes, they fall out of aeroplanes with their car, like it's meant to be ridiculous. Yeah, And it's some good watching. It's good you just said that reality show like just like nonsense watching just in the background, just to like, you know, while you're on your phone. And I think that that can encourage you to stay in and you know and save some money

You know what. I actually find them quite entertaining, to be honest.

I mean it's fast moving, it's very you know, fast shape, and there's always something going on.

A good great car, great cast, A new one has an awesome cast. Yeah, So like it's good Jason Statham, he's like my favorite.

Love it.

Yeah, so that's my recommendation. Should go watch that, or watch it from the start and then watch past X and tell me what you think.

Great recommendation.

Let's jump for im on the spot. I remember it, don't worry, I'll come to me.

Oh that's not your real life.

I just remember I had a mental don't you just remembered it? That was true, But I have got to write him down when I remember him the fuck.

Guys, don't worry.

Next week you'll get to from that hold in its pressure.

Okay.

On that note, let's jump into our hot line.

Hello, you've reached Anna and Nutt.

We can't get to the phone right now, but.

Please leave us a message on our hot line after the beep.

Okay, so this hot line is anonymous.

Mistremous.

Hey, guys, I'm just going to keep it short and sweet. Around twenty seventeen, I was in a relationship with this guy for about a year and then I was randomly just at home. He wasn't with me, but I had this like I guess it got feeling and I just thought he just doesn't seem right. He wasn't really acting that weird or anything. But I just had a feeling. I was scrolling on Facebook and this girl's photo came up. It was just a selfie, it was nothing, nothing special,

Looking at her photo.

Beautiful girl, but I just it was just my gut telling me he's being unfaithful, he's being unloyal. And yeah, it turns out he was messaging her asking her to go to his place.

And have sex, asking for nudes.

And after I found this out, the FBI came out in me, and I then found out lots and lots and lots more all these other girls that he had messaged and asked for photos and invited over. Whether or not he had them over, I can't even confirm. I then found out that there was actually men as well that he had been with while he was with me. I did not know that he was bisexual. Yeah, so there was a few shocks for me. But anyways, it's now twenty twenty six. I'm happily married with the baby.

Yeah, so.

That's my story. I guess follow you got girls, If you have an intuition and you have a feeling follower, it's always right.

Fuck. I love that. So true.

Well, it's a good thing. We'll start off by saying for people out there that do get heartbroken, that it all works out in the end and there's a happy ending.

So nice to know that she's married with baby. It's just so cute that seventeen.

It feels like yesterday, But it was.

I feel like yesterday I was thinking what was I doing into that?

Yeah, I had I had that thought the other day, like the last five years have gone that's not but the last five years have gone so quickly.

Yeah, they really have.

Yeah, so it's a happy ending for her. But now it makes sense because I was like, what, just a random girl that she found intuition, But obviously if he had already slept with her, that's why she was.

You reckon that he had liked it, and that's what kind of made her go, I'm going to message this girl.

Probably Yeah, I reckon.

Yeah, I mean it's just so straight, like I don't know what it is, but it's just like such a deep, like sinking feeling that you get. And I don't know, do you get to men get women's de men's get do men get men's intuition?

I don't think, Okay, I don't think. We look at a photo and we think the same way. I don't know, like I would never think.

Like that, Yeah, I definitely.

Yeah, my mind would never go that way.

Do you ever get like a sinking gut feeling that's like gut wrenching and you're just like something's wrong.

Yeah, I'm trying to think of an example of when I feel like I have before. Yeah, yeah, but never.

It's just like such a strong, overwhelming feeling and you're just that before one hundred percent when I got cheated on six times since seven.

Days loyal Remember this story when my.

Ex boyfriend fucked off to throw some parties in schoolies.

Yes, I had that feeling.

And he even called me every night and I still had the feeling, and I was like, what is wrong with me? Like, he's such a he's such a good loyal boy calling me before bed. Now I know for sure that he's not saying with people. Meanwhile, he just left them in the room and then went outside to make the phone call.

Dog men, are just that I said something swear word. Hopefully it's beped.

Out, no, but it's you know what. It kind of takes me back to what we were just talking about before with vander Pump Rules, where Tom Sandoval cheated on his long term partner.

That was not the first time he cheated. It's like once they.

Do it, once they get confident, they get comfortable, and they start doing it again.

It's fucked up.

Does she get a women's intuition.

Or he came in she got it women's intuition? Yeah, she someone handed This is how it came out. So someone he was performing on stage, someone his phone fell out of his pocket. Someone handed her the phone and she just got a really bad gut feeling and went through his camera roll and found like a screen recording.

Ah, women's intuition.

Well, so she found out as well that he had been sleeping with guys at the same time, so she was like, not safe with anything, guys or girls. He was just going to cheat on.

Her regardless of her.

That's so stressful, Like I just it just like hearing women go through these types of situations. It's just like the trauma that I just know that comes from these types of situations.

It's just stressful.

And I think sometimes, as bad as it is, we almost need to go through these really shitty men so that when a good guy comes up, you're just like, oh my god, I appreciate you so much, Whereas like if you've not been through a shitty guy, you don't appreciate the good ones because you're just like, yeah, they're all like this, but really.

Matt's time for Matt's motivational quote now on that life is like a glow stick. You don't glow into a break. No. I actually I said it the other day and nailed it at an event. Everyone loved it. Our friend of the podcast love that he used to was with him? What was it that again?

Ready, let's go, guys, We're going to take two.

How does it go?

Take a pause.

You're like a glow stick. You don't glow until you break.

Oh yeah, that's good.

I think that's what it is.

Okay, three, two, one go.

You're like a glow stick. You don't glow until you break. No, you need to break fat so you can glow. You get the gist of what I'm trying to say. Do you remember putting glow sticks in the freezer to try and make them last longer? I thought that they were going to break again and then the cloak never works. Guyss kids like after a glowstick night, we put them in the freezer and the freezer be stacked for the glow sticks. That but you get what I'm trying to get what you're.

Trying to say, And it's true, you need to break so that you can glow and appreciate the good guys.

Yes, so she did and now she's happily married with kids.

I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Our next hotline is anonymous, another anonymous.

Hey man, and I just need a little bit of advice on how to deal with my current situation.

So I was with.

My partner at the time for almost three years. We broke up, probably around two to three weeks ago or so, and the reason being was because my now ex partner has.

Accused me of cheating.

So the story behind that is that we broke up towards the end of last year, and after a little while that we had been broken up, I had slept with another person and that sort of thing, and then him and I were hanging out. I said to him, just because we're hanging out doesn't mean we're getting back together, and that sort of thing. And then I.

Think a few.

Days, I would say, maybe three or four days later, I'd slept with someone. And then next thing, you know, probably about a week or so later, him and I were actually getting back on track and we were going to get back together. But I didn't want to just let him into to think that he could walk all over me basically and come and go as you pleased. I was straight up and honest with him, told him

Sort of thing?

And I was just looking for a little bit of advice on how to how to go about it and get over it in a sense, and also how to kind of deal with being in the same workplace as him basically, so with work, we don't actually see each other, but I'm hearing a fair bit of stuff that he's been saying through other.

Colleagues, and that's shitty. It's just really disheartening.

The fact that he feels like he can actually speak about me the way he has been and it's just as fucked to be completely honest. So yeah, sorry for the long one. Any advice you guys have would be much appreciated.

Love you, guys. Thinks love you.

I'm so sorry you're going through such a hard time at the moment.

First of all, she was very transparent and honest with him, So I don't think there's it was cheating for say.

I mean, if you're not together with someone, you have to expect that they are hooking up with other people, even if you were in a relationship at one point. If you're both now single, you can't hold them to a standard.

And I guess it's.

Until the moment where you're officially together. It's like bets her off. If you don't want them to be cooking up with someone else, you need to make it official with them.

What happens if you have it official like an exclusive.

Chat or in a relationship dipitation.

So if he'd said, like he doesn't expect her to sleep with anyone in that time, then I think that she shouldn't. But she said that she wasn't. She said that they weren't together, So yeah, I think that she has nothing wrong there, do you know what, I think?

Hurt people hurt people. That's just a fact of life.

So he feels like in his mind, he's feeling really betrayed and really hurt. So he's almost how it feels is that he's trying to get back at her by openly seeing someone else, Like she obviously knows about this person, and he knows that that's going to hurt her because they clearly have a strong enough bond to keep getting

Yeah, I think that he should grow up and not talk of shit about your ex to people, like especially people that he can get back to him and that Like I know that we we don't talk shit on here, but we tell stories about our exs and that. But like I don't think that like talking shit to people openly like try. Yeah, that's just not on. That's just mature.

If I was her, I just send him a very clear message setting a boundary saying you.

Want to get back with him now or not.

But I think she should, regardless of that, send him a message saying, hey, it's getting back to me that you're talking about our relationship and what's happened.

This is.

No, this is really inappropriate, and I would really appreciate it if you would stop stop talking about me.

Thanks.

I would just be like very cold, but also like set a boundary with him, just so he knows, like this isn't acceptable. I don't appreciate this, and it's affecting my place of work.

I'm not saying this is the right thing. Does she fight toxic with toxic? Like?

Nah? No?

I mean like just I mean, yes, what you were telling her to go with someone who knows?

No? No, no, just maybe she just starts rumors like old mate has isn't well down hard. I know, I'm taking the fierce, I'm taking a piss. Never do that. So what was I gonna say? Rise above it? Totally rise above it.

There's nothing hotter than someone who looks like they're moving on. And then like if she's getting.

Bothered by it, that's gonna like it's going to give him the serotonin that he needs to keep doing what exactly?

Just rise above it? I say that all the time. Just be a bitger person than you know, you're better, know your worth and know that you it's not like it's water off your back.

Yeah, I know how she feels though, when she's like, just three years mean nothing to you, Like we've been through so much.

But but then again, didn't she sleep with so after they broke off black real quickly, So wouldn't he say the same thing?

So he probably feels how she feels, like, didn't did use me nothing to you?

Yeah, but then again they were broken up, he's not. She wasn't seeing them, but I don't know.

Yeah, like you have to see it from like how each angle would see it, Like he's probably hurting and so then he's like trying to hurt her and vice versa. She's like, well, we weren't together, but now you're kind of like seeing someone very quickly. So it's a difficult situation to navigate. I don't It doesn't sound like she wants to get back together with him. It sounds like she wants to move on. So if that's the case, set some clear boundaries with him and just live your

Him go why is she so happy? There's nothing.

So when you break up with someone and they look like they're having a good time and you're sitting at home crying and you're like, fuck you, why am I sitting here miserable and you look like you're having a swell time, it's annoying as fuck.

So that's my advice. Just go have a good time.

Yeah, and don't again, don't actually talk about him. That's low frequency, that's slow value sort of stuff. Like you said, go have a good time, make him jealous that he ever left, or that he's not trying to get back with you and he's found someone else and.

In the meantime someone else.

Yeah.

Okay, guys, that's all we have time for. We hope you've enjoyed this hotline. As always, we want to hear from you guys, so send any story times, any questions, advice that you need at tea, or any topic at all to our Instagram or where's your head at pod at gmail dot com. Just send us a voice note and our producer Alex will be in touch.

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