IS IT EVEN OFFICIAL, UNTIL IT'S **HARD LAUNCH** OFFICIAL?

I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing style.

We have a boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours.

He's in a trash bin. He's non recyclable catching number.

I love being love, I love love. On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are talking about soft launching and hard launching relationships.

It's a new Instagram relationship trend and something you'll no doubt have to face when your relationship starts to get serious.

Stay tuned to hear some tips on how to soft launch a relationship and the best time to hard launch.

Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more. All Right, and it's good to be back in the stud.

Hey Ma, how are you?

I'm good? I'm good. How are things with Michael going?

Do you know what?

It's so weird We haven't done an episode updating people in our lives for so long because we've had some amazing guests on the show, so it's.

Weird to be back talking about ourselves again.

I don't find it that difficult. I know, you don't second nature to me.

Yeah, I mean, look things with Michael, we're cruising, everything's going really well. We're very much in love, obsessed.

With each other.

Honeymoon stage still going strong.

Yeah, we're still in that honeymoon phase, which I'm loving. I feel like every day. I actually, it's so weird that you say that, because I was actually scared that the honeymoon phase is going to end. I was like, I kept looking at the dates being like, Okay, we've got an extra month now, like is it going to end soon?

Like when's that going to happen?

But I feel like the more time we spend with each other, like I like him even more and he says that about me, So I feel like that's a good thing, right, Like we're tracking.

Well, you just stay obsessed with each other the whole time.

Let's hope that lasts forever.

There's no reason for it not to. I guess, yeah, I know.

Why is it that we think that the honeymoon phase has to end? Like who spun that lie to us?

I don't know, But let's prove them wrong and keep your honeymoon stage going for ages. I mean, you survived Thailand, as we spoke about last week, so yeah, who knows what else you can come overcome?

I know well, And that's the thing.

I feel like, when you are in a relationship and then you go through like hard times with someone, it's like a make or break. You're either gonna just be like this is not for me and when shit hits the fan we don't work well together, or it's going to make you stronger. And I'm really happy that it's made us stronger.

I'm happy as well. You guys are que, You're going solid. I love hanging around you guys, and I love to see it.

We've heard that one.

Okay, So there's a lot that's happened in your life since we've kind of done a catch up. So I have a million and one questions to ask you because hot seat, yeah, heart seat for sure, Because I feel like everyone needs to be fully caught up on your life. I mean, if you follow Matt on Instagram, we've seen that Matt has hard launched Magical Date girl, who we now know.

As her name is Jen, Yeah, Genevieve, I call her Jen. Yeah, so she will no long ago as magical date girl.

Okay, so we're abolishing Magical day call her Jen now.

She was actually quite sad when I told her that. She was like an end of an era, and I was like, you'll always be my magical date girl.

So the last time people heard you told people you were exclusive.

What has happened since then?

Okay, so I may as well start from the start. So last time I spoke to you, guys were exclusive. So I asked her to be exclusive very early on.

It was like, how early on?

Maybe two weeks in I think.

I think it was a week.

It was a week, It was a week, Yeah, I think it was a week. And I I just thought to myself, you know what, I'm not talking to the other girls. I've burnt every girl I was talking to before.

Do you want it to lockery?

Like yeah, I was like, I'm being I'm being exclusive, so I may as well make it exclusive.

So let's make sure she's not fucking yeah exactly.

Yeah, so let's just both be exclusive. And she was keen to be exclusive. So that was yeah, I think a week.

I remember when you told me that, and I was like wow, because I knew how keen that was from like actually, before you went on the first day with her, you were like, Anna, this girl is like my cup of tea. She's my flavor, she's my type. Like and you guys had obviously spoken for like sixty years on and off, and.

Like, yeah, I remember calling you on the first night she came around. I went into my bedroom and I called you and I told you how keen I was on her. And You're like, well, don't do anything to fuck this up.

Now, you best be on your best behavior, And I definitely was. So Actually, I'm actually just like thinking back to that time. I don't want anyone to miss any of the important facts.

Didn't you?

You invite her to family dinner within a week of knowing her.

Oh, sorry to throw you under there.

Yeah, So I remember how we hung out on the first date, then hung out that night, and then hung out the whole next day. I had my tradition, we have Sunday night dinner with my family, we watch a movie. And I was at her house and I was like, well, look, I've got a family dinner. I don't want to leave you. Would you like to come with me? And we're like I'm denied for ages and like, no, no, no, it's it's too early. It's been like not even forty eight hours. So because she nearly came, did.

She say it was too early or did you?

Oh? I'm pretty sure she did. I think she was a rational calm here.

I was thinking that because I feel like you were like all in.

Yeah. I was like calm, no, calm, come, but yeah, she said no, we should probably wait at least another week before that happens.

We've been exclusive after week one. What's happening in week two?

Yeah?

Okay, so you guys were exclusive. Everything was going well. Was there any hiccups?

I mean just normal like stuff when you're with someone and you don't understand their boundaries and all that sort of stuff. But nothing we didn't work through, Like just stuff that, like, you know me, my mouth gets me in trouble. I say dumb stuff, just that.

And so she pulled you up on those She pulled me up.

On those things, and like I say to her, look, all you gotta do is call me out, and I learned. I'm a sort of person that learns, and I won't do it again.

Okay, so when did you actually make it official.

All right, So I asked Jen to be my girlfriend maybe two months in, two months into hanging.

Out, Yeah, perfect time that.

Yeah, Well it's funny you say that because we went on a date on a picnic and we were sitting in this park. It was really romantic. We'd ordered some vietnammes. We were sitting there eating that and we're just laying there like the sun was setting or laying having this really romantic time like yeah, hugging and kissing, not caring who was around.

Typical Matt love some pdam Yeah.

And then I was like thinking to myself, I was like, I'm going to her, I'm going to ask her. And then every time I went to ask her, I just got into my own fucking head and I just like cowered out and I just was like I just like just didn't know what to do. And I was like and then I'd ask some random question that had nothing to do with anything, and when she's just like what, yeah, she could tell I think, and I think that she

Yes, Ah, that's such a cute story.

Yeah, And then I was so happy. I was over the moon.

You were happy. Yeah, I've got a girlfriend. I was like, how on earth are we both in relationship?

I totally defeated the purpose of this, but here we are.

You know what, I really want to talk to you about you getting inside your head and that anxiety because I guess for me, like I've never had to put myself out there and like ask a guy to be my boyfriend, like I always wait for them. And it's interesting to hear from a male perspective, like you really can get in your head and it really can stress you out.

It's almost like you know she's going to say yes. But I was running through every scenario and I was just like in my own head, I was like, she's going to say no, she gonna say it's too soon, or she's going to say this. When I really knew that she was going to say yes. I don't know why I was making myself think that and worrying.

Yeah, I mean, anxiety gets the better of all of us. But like in relationships, it is like it's kind of a big deal because like, yeah, if she doesn't say yes, like are you still seeing each other?

Like is this over? And now I don't want it to be?

Yeah, what happens now? And then she says no, but let's keep hanging out for a bit. Isn't it just gonna be fucking awkward?

Do you don't like me?

Yeah? You rejected me, so, Yeah, I did get very anxious.

Yeah. Have you ever felt anxious like that before? Or do you think it's because you care about her so much?

I think it's because I care about her so much. I mean asking out my ex. Yeah. I didn't get anxious at all. It was pretty much in an argument.

Did you did you ask her out? Or did your ex like give you an ultimatus?

She gave me an ultimator.

Yeah I didn't.

I thought that, and my dumb ass was like, all right, then we'll just we'll date then I get my girlfriend.

So, Matt, you care a lot about Jen. Have you told her that you love her yet?

Yes?

I have.

I've told her I love her. She It was in Byron on that trip we went two together. Yeah, we went for a walk to the lighthouse and there was.

This like clinic light.

Cliche. There was like no but there was like this platform that has no railing and you climb onto it and you overlook like the beach and the Whitehouse is on your left. And we were sitting there. I kept cuddling her and like kissing her and looking at her, and then she looked at me, she goes, are you acting weird again? And I was like, yes I am, Yes, I am. And then she goes why and I'm like, well, I want to tell you that I love you. And then we just sat there and just made out.

Did she say it back?

No, she didn't say it back. She didn't want it to be forced. So did she didn't want to say it back to me?

Yeah?

You told me that she has a history of not saying I love you back to people like ex boyfriends.

Yeah, so to her saying I love you, I think is a big deal to me.

I think to everyone it's a big deal, it is a big deal.

But to me, if I feel that and I'm more open with my emotions emotional, I'm willing to more put myself out there to be hurt as I feel like she's not. I feel like she wants to know guaranteed one hundred percent that she's not going to get hurt. Yeah, and that this is something solid. Yeah.

So maybe she has a few walls up.

Yeah, she definitely does have a few ways up. I know she's been hurt in the past. Yeah, whereas a vie, but I I'm willing to get hurt again.

Yeah.

No, does that hurt you a little bit? That she hasn't set it back.

Yes and no, because I think to myself, well, actions speak louder than words, and I just reassure myself that like her actions and the way she acts around me and what she does, is someone that does love someone. And I know that you nearly said it one night. She pretty much said it when we were drunk, but then she said, I don't want to say it when I'm drunk. Yeh want to special?

I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of people listening right now who have been in a similar situation and who like, it's good to hear that you know, you're also in a situation like this.

Yeah, well, she said the first her first boyfriend took her over six months to say it, and he'd already said it before then.

How did he feel about that?

I do know?

Sorry, probably not asking about.

How long have you guys been together?

Now we've been together officially maybe three months, okay, I said.

It a month in okay, so you might have an extra three months to wait until you hear yeah, I love you back.

Yeah. So, I mean, like I said, it does hurt, but I'm not putting pressure on her. I don't want to force her to say anything. It will come at its own time, and it would be so much sweeter when I hear it.

We like, praise the Lord, I skim me it. Do you know What's weird though, Like I've never really spoke about this to you ever.

I don't think, but like the first time saying I love you to someone is kind of awkward, Like you might feel it, but to actually say it for the first time is kind of uncomfortable. Like I remember the first time Michael and I said it, like he said it to me, you were drunk, when we were like a bit tipsy and it was like sunset and then I set it back and I was like oh. But then after we said it once, then I was like, when do we say it next? Like when's the next

Like once he said it, he was just like go yeah.

And I think because he did that, it made it really normal. So now, like honestly, I think the next day like it wasn't awkward, but that day, like the next time he said it, I was like, oh, he said it again.

Said it again?

Why do you say that? Because I've almost stopped saying it now because I haven't heard it back. So I'll say stuff like that or you or I appreciate you. Yeah, I'll say I'm in love with you when like it's a real heated moment. But if it's just norm when I feel like I want to say it because I say it a lot, you know what I'm like, I grew up in a house, or you just say it to you like I love you and I love you like i'll see you love you by Yeah. I mean so to me, it's just second nature. I don't think

Was not used to it, used to it.

Yeah, So I've refrained a bit from saying it.

Yeah that's kind of sad though as well. But like I totally understand where you're coming from because I feel like it's kind of like, is she going to say it back this time? And I guess like maybe when you say it and you don't hear it back then, it kind of like hurts her.

Or when I got in my own head and it was like two perfect times I thought she was going to say it. We were on these perfect moments and I was like, all right, well this is She like pretty much encouraged the scenario to happen, and I was like, oh, okay, maybe this is it. And then we left and I was like, oh, okay, maybe next time.

Okay, So you told her you loved her in Barron Bay at the light how it was a really romantic moment, and then in Byron Bay you hard launched this shit out of your girlfriend.

And we're gonna talk about self launching and hard launching.

Next, Okay, Mat, let's talk about seft launching and hard launching our relationships. We both did it. We started soft, we went hard. They're two different things. I've only recently learned about these terminologies.

Like I didn't know this was a thing.

It's kind of like a process, like soft launching and hard launching is like a marketing technique.

It really is. Gen Z has kind of like made it into how they're gonna.

Like give sprinkles of information and kind of tease their Instagram audiences or TikTok audiences that they have a boyfriend, girlfriend or whatever.

Yeah, so a lot of people start off with a soft launch these days. Soft launch is when you show hints to your online audience that you have a partner. So it could be anything from like showing a.

Limb, showing a random limb.

Showing two dinner plates, to drinks, showing shadows, anything from like that.

I know people who like do soft launches by if the person they're seeing has sent them like flowers or something. They'll be like, oh my god, look at this, or like showing gifts that they've been given.

That's way too much for me. I like the classic like limb or like you're out for dinner. I think I soft launched Jen we were out for dinner and I showed a bit of her body, showed a bit.

Of her body, Yeah, cleavage, Actually I think that sure I got.

That with the girls.

Yeah, I think like I've definitely.

Soft launched people and it's never actually gone like come to fruition, likely been an only soft launch and then it's been out any.

Any worth mentioning. I didn't know that you've done that.

I mean, yeah, I think I soft launched. I was having a picnic with this guy. I think I'd only been seeing him for like three weeks, and I think a little bit of his leg was in it. And I was like, is this like a cock block for me if I post this? And now I was like, nah, let's make the ex jealous.

Yeah, well, a lot of people do soft launches for that reason if they're pretty manipula, pretty toxic.

Probably shouldn't have admitiated that.

No, I thought everyone does it. So what is a hard launch then?

Okay, so basically like a hard launch is when you become Facebook official, when you post a photo with them and tag them so people know that you guys are together.

Let's talk about you hard.

Launching Jen because you did a middle of the ground hard launch because you didn't tag her, right.

Yeah, So I thought Jen and I were going to go on with just soft launch. We discussed it. She doesn't really want to be like getting random follow She doesn't really want people like knowing who she is. She just needs to live her life and.

Obviously fully privately.

Yeah, exactly. So we discussed it and she said, I don't want a heart like you to post me you can do like all this sort of stuff. But I said, look, this is what I do, Like, I need to be able to like reshare if you tag me, I need to be able to post you.

Like you're proud of her as well, like you want to.

It's not even really about having a following, like you're so proud of like her, your relationship.

You want to show it off to people. You want to be like I'm.

In loved exactly. Yeah, so I said that to her. I said, look like, can we find some happy medium ground. So we settled on posting a photo but not tagging her. So the photo we posted was amazing. It's one of my favorite photos of us. Yeah nay, yeah, So that was the hard launch pick we decided.

And what was interesting about your hard launch with Jen was that this was totally unplanned, Like you guys were planning on just seft launching only and never actually posting each other, and then you guys got a really cute okay and you're actually and then you were like actually on second pillot.

Yeah, this can't go away, some need to show this one off. Yeah. Yeah, it was completely different. So from my previous relationship. That was so planned to the point of like photo it was planned to like the moment it was going to be posted. Everything with Kira, Yeah, it was just planned to the t because she was on a TV show, so she was like post at the moment I get eliminated and then to let everyone know. Wow.

So that was fully planned.

And that was fully planned. Yeah, to the moment you got eliminated. We both posted, and look.

There's nothing wrong with that. Like at the end of the day, like Instagram is a marketing tool. You guys have both been on TV, you have a following. If that was kind of like what you both agreed on, that's fine. But then like obviously Jen likes to have a really private life, which is like the polar.

Opposite and one of the most attractive things about her.

Yeah, and like you know, you guys last minute were like.

Fuck it, let's just post it. Yeah, and to everyone's credit, we got a tremendous response. Everyone was real happy for us complimenting her complimenting me. So that was good as well.

That made me a good moment.

Yeah, that made her feel better about the whole situation as well.

Was she worried that she would get hate.

Yeah, that's crossed her mind a lot. She she's very worried about that. We had a lot of photos because, like we said, it was discussed, we had a lot of photos that I wanted to post, and she was like, no, I don't want that one. No, I don't like this one. And then yeah, we just saw that one and I was like, fuck, this is an awesome pick.

Let's do it, baby.

Yeah. So how did you go about your hard launch with Michael?

I mean, look, I was really apprehensive about posting someone after Josh because we had such a public relationship and obviously we'd been broken up for a year, so like, I was kind of like whatever, But then I was also worried about how Michael would be received because people followed me because I won Love Island with Josh. Was like, I hope Michael doesn't receive any hate or mean comments

We're in love.

I mean, for me, obviously, we you and I don't have the ability to be private. We've got this podcast, we've got social media, so we don't get that luxury. But I feel like if you're proud of someone and you want to show the world that you're in love with them, you can be public with it. I mean, I don't feel there's any harm. Like, what's the worst thing that's going to happen. If anything, people are going to know you've got a partner and.

Not reach out, reach out and slide into your dm GM's dry up real quick, Sahara.

So, I mean, I don't see any harm in being public. I know a lot of people want to be private with their relationship. I've been in relationships where it was private, we weren't posting that we are together in that and I much prefer to be public and to express that you have a partner. Yeah, I'm I'm sort of begging my girlfriend to post photos. I'm not the guy that I'm not going to post you like, can I post this please? I'm proud of you. I want to show everyone. I'll show you off to everyone.

Yeah.

Yeah, what do you think is better public or private?

I think there's definitely being private.

There's definitely benefits to it and having and protecting that relationship and making sure that it's more about the love you guys have than showing it off to the world. And I think that there's definitely benefits in that. But yeah, I think I'm like you, Like we are quite similar. Like I want to tell everyone that I'm in love and I want to, you know.

Post couples photos that I'm really happy.

And you know, there was definitely photos that I posted when I was with Josh and I look back and I'm like, I wasn't at my happiest there, And now I look at photos that I've posted with Michael, and I'm at my happiest and so it's nice.

Yeah.

Well, you know, at the start of my relationship with Michael, I really enjoyed keeping things really private, Like I didn't even really soft launch him at the start.

But then we got papped down in Saint Kilda. I don't know if you remember that.

I do, You're going on a little coffee run.

Yeah, and then those photos came out and like, obviously we were serious about each other, but it wasn't a secret, like my close friends knew about it. But it was just nice having that And yeah, I guess after that, like I was kind of I didn't really care about posting the photos because if you looked it up online, you could see who I was dating anyway. So I guess they kind of took that hard launch away from me.

Luxury as well.

Yeah, the privacy, I can.

Relate to that as well. Kira and I got papped before we had the chance to hard launch or post each other together as well, so that took away the privacy. Also took away that feeling of hard launching your partner.

Yeah, I guess that's one of those things about being on TV. I guess some of that privacy does get taken away.

All right. So we've spoken a lot about hard launching and soft launching or a new relationship. How about soft launching and hard launching a breakup? We've all done it.

How do you soft launch and hard launch a breakup?

You hard launched a breakup with Josh, didn't you?

I did?

I just instantly, like I think me and Josh were having an argument, and I just like put a statement out pretty much like two days after. I think I was pretty annoyed with him because I was getting messages saying he was like with other people.

So I was like I just want this to be over. Let's draw a line.

So I think I made a statement and posted it as an actual like screwed posts.

Yeah, well, I soft launched my breakup with Kira. How just in a poster?

Is that what a selft launch breakup is?

Just?

It's radio silence.

It just came clear that we weren't hanging out and I was getting messages, articles were getting written.

People notice, the.

Biggest telling is the unfollow of each other.

Yeah.

Yeah, so that's that's the biggest telling. And people do their research and they found it out straight away that we were unfollowing.

But that's a hard launch, isn't it when you're on following, Like, that's a hard launch breakup?

True? True, But that came a couple of weeks after when stuff got real toxic. So at the start, it was just radio silence, no posting each other, doing paid collabs for the same brand, but not posting together where we normally had. I remember a lot of people were asking questions about that, and.

It people's ears out.

Yeah, and a lot of articles, a lot of articles were written when we did a paid collab but for the same brand, but didn't mention it. What do you think is healthier hard launch for a soft launch for a breakup.

I mean, look, for me, you know what I'm like in a breakup. I like to rip off that band hed and move the fuck on. And that's exactly what I will do always, Like, I would just prefer to like put a statement out and be like, and even if you don't have a following, just to like, I'll tell all of my friends everyone I'm not together.

I'm single now.

Girls' nights, single girls Nights, all the single ladies, way beyond thas being played.

Or anything I can do to make it crystal clear.

Another great one is the old Q and A. Just ask yourself the question are you single? Yeah, guys mean I've broken as yeah, Q and.

A specifically for the reason that I'm about to tell everyone.

I'm fucking sing.

Yeah, that's another great way to high launch it.

I mean, look, it's always going to be tricky to break up with someone, but yeah, like obviously, when we hard launch a new relationship, it means that at some point, if you guys break up, everyone's gonna find out about it, which kind of sucks because then you get the pity like, oh nos, I hope you're okay, and sympathy and the sympathy and you know, when things don't work out, it's really hard. So I guess when you do hard launch

Yeah, it has been. We've had so many amazing guests in so many amazing episodes. If you haven't listened to them all, make sure you go back. There's some really ripper episodes in there.

Yeah. We have a two week break and then we are back for season three. How crazy is that to say of where's your head at?

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See you guys next season. Bye bye,