‘I WAS BULLIED INTO GETTING ONLYFANS’ ** ft Phoebe Thompson**

I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing style.

Boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a trash bin. He's non recyclable, catching hemmer.

I love being love, I love love. On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we have Phoebe Thompson, our fellow season two Love Islander.

We'll be talking all things at personal websites, her portrayal on Love Island, and her love life post show.

Stay tuned. Where's Your Head At.

Is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more.

Hey Phoebe, welcome.

I know you.

I know.

I haven't seen you guys in so long.

Yes, we've been wanting to catch up with you, and we've been so flat out that we were like, we have to get her on the podcast. Then we can just have like a massive session just having a chat.

And like, I know I was.

Saying to Anna before, you might be good friends with Anna, but I was pushing for you to get on this podcast, if not more than Anna was.

Really it's not a competition.

It is what I was saying. I was saying, I really want to have a chat with Phoebe on this podcast about some of these topics. So let's get her on. I'm pretty sure I missed you as well.

You know you did message me no, thanks, Mat, I really appreciate it.

Just to be clear, I really wanted you.

Yes, that shows how much I wanted you on. Okay, all right, So how's your life been since leaving the Love Island villa.

Honestly, it's kind of like very up and down, very emotional, you know. I feel like I've come a long way in the past two years, and especially like coming out of Love Island and being triggered by everything and being extremely sensitive to now kind of like kind of rolling with it, if that makes sense.

Do you think it like it almost like made you more mature and grow up a little bit more.

Yeah, definitely.

And it's made me see television and social media and everything in a completely different life, and especially the people, even the influences and how everything kind of worked. It's made me see that in completely different life. And it's it's not a positive one I wouldn't say, but.

In generally and just how kind of fake.

And how everything's very controlled and people aren't really who they who they say they are, who they're you know, trying to portray themselves to be on social media.

It's all kind of it's a brand, right, It's everything's a brand.

And it's always disappointing when you see someone online and you're like, oh, you're really inspiring or you're this or you're that, and then you meet them in real life and you're super disappointed with what you get.

You're like, oh shit, Like that's such a letdown.

Yeah, that's happened so many times with people, and they're just like they're really narcissistic and they're really rude, and they're cold, and they don't have time for anyone or anything, or they need to be the center of attention all the time, and if they're not getting that attention then they almost sulk.

I've been in situations like that.

It's so embarrassing for them.

Also.

I've had interactions with people as well where they only give people time of day if you have like a certain amount of followers, or if you're like if you.

Can do better for their brand.

Yeah, if you have something to offer them, and I think it's all transactional, correct, And that's like a real testament when you meet someone and you have nothing to offer them and they're just kind and like a genuine person, And that's so rare to find these days.

Like we've spoken about this as well.

It's just it's hard, and as you said, it is disappointing when you meet people and they're a bit of a letdown.

Yeah.

Absolutely, it happens quite often.

Let's go back to Love Island because I remember us being on Love Island.

We entered the villa together, and I remember you were having a.

Really tough time when we first got in there, like obviously there's cameras on you twenty four to seven, and you were just like.

Anna, what the fuck have I signed up for?

Like this is too much, Like I knew I signed up to be on a reality TV show. I remember you saying this, but like I don't even have any privacy to like go to the toilet.

I don't know if it.

Was our particular season, because I've seen, you know, maybe in other countries or even this very last season there was all I don't know if it's to deal with like money.

But I just don't feel like it was very.

Comfortable in what way, Like how like the.

Villa, like how we were living, how everything was kind of set up.

I feel like it was very rushed. I felt like they didn't have enough money.

Yeah, the whole live was.

Set up to not make us feel comfortable. I felt like I agree, like like the bright lights, the bright even down to how they had set the kitchen up, like things are put in an annoying places.

Yeah, yeah, no, that's so true to like.

Walk from one side of the kitchen to get it was just all to fuck with us. I felt so.

You're constantly on edge, You're constantly out of your comfort zone, and like like something like tiny could happen and you're like bully your right.

Yeah it was.

It was so emotional. I wasn't even in there that long, and I.

Feel how long were you in there for?

I don't even know.

A week or something.

I remember we used to call you now quite mean negasaurus Rex walk around all negative.

I was so off it, like, I was so off. I was like, what the fuck is this?

But you know what, I just feel like you were saying what everyone was thinking, like, I was, what the fuck have I signed up for?

But I was like and I just like keep going, keep pushing forward.

Keep pushing forwar.

But you were like no, this, I was like.

This, I'm very much like that.

I find it very hard to like, like, I'm quite an emotional person and I have no filter.

A lot of the time.

Yeah, I just.

Felt like I got fucked over. Yeah, I just in more ways than one coming in there. Yeah, I almost feel.

Like reality TV in Australia especially, it's just not for people of color.

Yeah.

I didn't haven't watched all of the most recent season, but I feel like even with Taku, who was very popular at the beginning, it's kind of like they looked at our season, We're like, oh, we can't just have any token black people. Yeah, they need to have some sort of, you know, main character. So they had Taku, who was like really popular at the beginning, and then cue the aesthetic white couple and then Taku gets no airtime because they've ticked off that box.

And I just I don't know, it's like, do you reckon that's what it was, or do you reckon?

He just couldn't find a connection because.

We did recaps of Love Island, and we were like really wanting him to find a connection, and every single person that he kind of got with, he was like, nah, no connection, no connection, which hats off to him. He was like true to himself. But watching it, it felt.

Like, and they're going to follow someone that's single the whole time.

I guess so, but you never know.

You never know with the editing is going on, because anyone they can make out any situation to be something that it's not, so we just never know.

You just never know.

But like at the same time, coming to Love Island, I was kind of like, I don't think any of the boys in here are actually attracted to me.

I wouldn't say that. I think a lot of the boys were attracted to you. I think that because of the state of mind you're in and how you were just like not enjoying the thing. I think it was hard for anyone to actually like.

Yeah, I push I push people away? Would I do?

In relationship?

I'm like, I make it very hard for people to even get close to.

Clo and I do like, yeah, so do you regret going on then?

I don't regret going on it because it obviously opened up a lot of avenues for me. I made some like amazing friends. I wish I had a little bit more support. I wish I had a better understanding of what I was going into. And I kind of do feel a little bit played by the producers because they were like, you know, they scouted me.

And they were said, promise me that there was going to be, you.

Know, a grown man, a tall.

Grown man who was going to be into me. Like, do you know what I mean?

Yeah?

Was I not there?

Phoebe Literally your head was in Vanessa's art.

Like, yeah, look, if I had my time again, we won't get into that. I've never gone there.

I mean, look, I think one of the best things about Love Island is we all made really great friends. Yeah, I know you live with Cassie. Still, yeah, you live with Cassie. I want to talk about Vanessa because you guys, you guys came.

Off the show we're friends, weren't friends.

Then there was the photo where I think you guys had taken some photos. Vanessa had posted it on her social media, pretended on her only fans that you were up there when.

You weren't, and you were kind of like, what's going on?

That wasn't so me and Vanessa were friends.

No, Actually, when she came out of Love Island she called me a snake.

In an interview.

She called everyone everything, but I didn't.

I don't really care about that.

And then we became close, and then that's not even what the problem was and why we stopped talking.

We're fine now, so you guys are friends again.

We're friends again.

Okay, we're fine. Fine, she stopped talking.

Well, I'm gonna have to bring up another cast member.

Okay, that's fine, Cartier.

Okay, So you stopped talking to Vanessa because of Cartier.

I don't know, because I'm going to be opening up another can of worms, and it's just like, I'm not friends with Cartier anymore. I'm gonna put that out there and I never will be friends with her ever again.

Yeap.

Right from the start, Vanessa could see something in Cartier that a lot of other people couldn't, And so after the show I was close with Vanessa and Vanessa I feel like she was quite sensitive about me hanging out with Cartier.

Oka, like, you know, we had.

A little tiff over this the photograph. Yeah, and not that I have any issues with the photograph. Of her posting it, but I had an issue with just like insinuating.

That I was on her only fans. I wasn't.

I kept getting like a million messages from people, and it was I just felt a bit overwhelmed.

I think it was a big deal when she did that because it was insinuating that you were on her only fans when you weren't. And you also didn't have any sort of website or anything like that at the time, so that was like pushing you out of your comfort zone.

Yeah, it mean it was like she did ask me if she could post the photo. I was fine with it, but I didn't like what I wasn't okay with was insinuating that I was on on the.

Website, which is totally fair enough.

Yeah, So I just said to her like, just like, let me know if you're gonna post stuff like that, and I just don't want people to think that I'm on there when i'm not because I'm getting so many messages. And then that sort of put a rift in our relationship, and then obviously the Cartier stuff and then she stopped talking to me, like I tried to reach out with her, and I was like, I don't want to lose lose our friendship, but she just cut me off.

Wow, are you friends with anyone else from the show? Still? Yeah?

I talked to I think I talked to pretty much everyone, apart from obviously. I don't talk to the Twins. Yep, don't talk to Cartier Jared.

Oh, and I don't talk to Jared.

I mean, I'll reply to a couple of your close friends stories so I can find him quite funny sometimes.

Can we talk about what happened with Jared?

Because I don't think this is like public knowledge, and I just think it's.

Like, mate Jared.

Okay, I actually think Jared is a harmless like. I don't even give him a thought in the day. He's just yeah whatever. But you know, how he behaved on Love Island, there were some things that were not shown, and how he behaved I did not agree with. But I didn't make a big deal about it because I'm trying to focus on my own life. But then afterwards, I just kept seeing this stuff on Instagram that was just like kind of very I found it very misogynistic, yeah,

Yeah.

The thing that triggered me the most is when he did this post about like, if you're an alcoholic, just stop drinking, like, and.

He went random on about all this stuff.

And I was like, first of all, if you're an alcoholic and you like it depending on alcohol, and you just stop cold turkey, you can die.

Yeah, Like he just.

And then I saw this other post where he was talking about women who have had babies, and I was like, mate, you're like twenty four. You come from a very privileged family.

Yeah.

The way he.

Delivers information, especially when it's about female or female issues or female people in the fitness industry, it's just so misogynistic.

And I just made one little comment and he couldn't handle it.

And you know what, I actually take my hat off to you because I remember you. He was kind of like trying to call people out because he's a pet I think, and being like, no one can give advice, and I like, I should only be able to give advice. And he was calling other people out now season for doing fitness or like nutritional things or whatever. And then I think a guy did it and he said nothing,

He was all over them.

And I was like, wow, like, why do you have like one rule for women and one rule for men.

It's not cool.

He's got issues with women. Yeah, all right, So.

On Love Island, you obviously didn't build a connection with any of the guys. Yeah, I blame you.

That's you know what.

Actually got along with Adam really well.

And I feel like, yeah, you knew that I got along with Adam really well.

You guys are always talking. It was like I could see that there was a connection with you guys. But then I found it weird because Adam was the one who essentially kicked you out of the villa, I know, which was just kind of like, and.

We talk now. I feel like I have quite a good relationship with him.

Now, yeah, but I know for a fact that it was him and not Cartier, who is like the leader in that decision. So that's I was kind of like, that's so strange. But anyway, maybe it's because maybe it's because he was in love with me.

I think he's like, I hit the golden goosey here, I need to get rid of the.

I'm joking.

I'm joking, all right, So you didn't build a connection with any of the guys, so you ended up coupling with Cassie in a Love Island first, the first girl girl couple. A lot of people said that wasn't genuine? Was it genuine?

I mean, I can only speak on my behalf. It wasn't not genuine. I was like, if I have to pick someone who I feel like I have the strongest connection to and I have attraction to, it would have been cass Cassie.

I mean, it was a huge moment.

Like, you guys basically hadn't told your families that you were both attracted to women, and I guess on national television, you guys basically put your hands up like, hey, this is who I am like, and you know, it was a really like amazing moment like I was so proud of you as a friend. I was like, wow, this is so cool. It was.

It was awesome.

Shit when the camera's like stopped rolling and like, you know, you guys hung out in Sydney and like, you know, whatever.

Did anything ever happen or go further with you? Guys?

Everyone wants Even two years later, I still have messages like people like I've had messages from people being like you and Cassie live together now and they think that like we're actually secretly together.

Really I see where their heads out on.

That currently there's nothing going on between me and Cassie. But the question is you're asking has there ever and what does that mean? And you're asking if we've been intimate? Yeah maybe, I guess so. Yeah, so you technically like live with your ex in a way I can't. I honestly, you can't think of these love Island little thingies is like relationship.

Yeah, it's just.

Like it's just like you know, Well, when I caught up with her after the show, she said she considers me as her ex.

I did, but she said she does. Yeah, she's just trying to do And my dumb ass was.

Like, yeah, okay, you were like, I can't imagine, Like.

Okay, Phoebe has a new business venture and we're going to talk about that next.

All right, Phoebe, so we've seen you have a new business venture. Can you tell us a little bit about that?

Pretty much, I'm doing essentially only fans, but I'm not on only fans. I have my own website, which is Phoebe Thompson dot com, subscribe plug it, So I, honestly I have to feel like, with talking about my website, I have to go back to how I was portrayed on Love Island.

Yeah, and what came from that.

So me and and I kind of like when we entered the villa, we already had a narrative created for each of us. And I remember seeing after I came out, seeing this article about us, and it was like Anna, you know, the Aussie girl like girl next door like and.

Then Phoebe they're like sexy vixen.

So Anna was already like the you know, the conservative, the you know, the girl next door, the innocent one. And I was already like this, you know, promiscuous, yeah, woman, man eat.

Or whatever, So that already was set in stone.

And then going on the show, and then you know, saying that I'm attracted to girls as well. I feel like women who are bisexual always immediately get put in this category as they're promiscuous. They're over sexualized, even just having massive boobs, Like people see massive tits and they think, oh, she's just down to fuck. So you put all those things together. So the narrative that I've the producers had creative me saying I'm attracted to girls as well and

It's you know.

And then coming out of Love Island, I for about a year and a half had so much pressure from people to do only fans and I was like, I've just been given this character and everyone wants me to be sexualized, and everyone wants me to you know, talk about sex and be about my body and do only fans. And I was like, well, fuck it. If that's what you want me to do, then I'll fucking do it.

And by everyone, you mean people.

Who are following me, and like, you know, I almost feel like I've been pressured to be, you know, a symbol of sex.

You know. I didn't put that on myself. It was put on me.

Yeah, you know, I mean, look, I totally agree with you. Like when I came out of Love Island, obviously we didn't know what the promo videos they were going to create. We just went to the shooting day and you know, like said what we had to say, and that was that, and then we came off.

And there was two videos that were put out.

The tone was completely different, Like mine's was just like, you know, like playful and fun and happy.

Go lucky, and yours was like super sexualized and.

I was growing black.

Yeah, like he did.

Like a full like like slut drop kind of thing. I did that too, like just FYI like they made

Yeah, as I mean, I'll give my opinion because we watched them both before we came in here, and I don't I can see what you guys are saying, but I didn't get that from watching it. I didn't know. I didn't get that at all. I thought you were just yeah, Phoebe, Like I did not think of it as like a premier scurious or anything like that. No, I mean the music was a bit more, a bit more yeah, like like a bit more premiscious. But what you're saying and that it was like normal love Island

There's just a different time, there was a different tone, and just.

It went straight over my head.

Yeah, it's pretty nice.

It wouldn't be a shocker. It wasn't.

It wasn't even just the promo, but it was just how even the articles and how they spoke about us.

We were.

It was polar opposites day and night, you know, yeah, Ying and Yang. It was just they wanted that.

They wanted Anna to be the good girl and me to be the naughty girl, and as the angel, I'm the devil.

Well, they always predetermine how people are going to go in and what they think they're going to be, Like I'm pretty sure I was meant to be the dumb model who likes the player, and then they realized, no, he's not really like that, you know what I mean. So sometimes it can change.

But that's not reality TV.

Reality TV is like people in the real world going in and just being themselves without producers or you know, a channel trying to create that.

I know, but like happened.

But it's just good for people to know that, Like, it's actually when you watch someone on TV, they're being made to look in a way that the producer has already manufactured.

In their own head.

It's actually who they are, what they are, what they stand for. And I think that's good for people to really be aware of that.

I've said it before. If anyone watches reality TV and believes the jargon they're being fed that that's what people are like, they should probably question.

But people do people idea. Even so, I've used to like love reality TV. I never watch it anymore.

Because I'm just like, what's theme.

I don't even know.

I don't know if that's real or that's you know, who they really are or what you know.

Yeah, I mean, look, we've heard you speak about this before, but obviously, as you've just touched on, we were both put into the villa, I guess as polar opposites. And you've you've spoken briefly about the Madonna wore complex and how you felt like that was.

Yeah, they want to They do that to women all the time. This has been going on for years and years and years. There's the Madonna hall complex is so like, it's so pushed upon women, It's pushed on us when we're little girls, I think like do you want to be do you want to get married and be virginal and be clean and precious or do you want to be a whore? Like because and those are the options.

There's nothing in between.

There's nothing in between.

Yeah, so there's the WiFi and then there's the fun.

Basically, yeah, there's the girl that you marry, that there's a girl that you fuck. I feel though, because I developed at such a young age, Yeah, you know, being overly sexualized and being sexualized has been prevalent in my life since I was really really young. So it's kind of like I'm almost a bit desensitized to it now. But I thought at least going on reality TV, I'd be able to kind of narrate who I really am a bit more so, but obviously I didn't get very long in.

There, and I was negasaurus.

You didn't really get to show your personality, probably as much as you would have liked, and so like therefore, you kind of came out feeling a bit like, Ah, I just went on this show because I'm hot and I got sexualized again, which has been happening to me whole life, my whole life, and that was I guess something that you went on there to kind of change and be like this is who I am. Like love me or hate me, but like, this is my personality, and unfortunately you were unable.

To do so.

So I'm so sorry, Like you didn't get to do that because it's so hard for you.

Thanks, yeah, understood, So.

Like, obviously that was really negative for you. But you've basically touched on the fact that you've basically come out of Love Island. Everyone has basically been asking.

You from the moment you got out.

Do you have an only fans whereas your only fans when you're getting an only fans, and you've kind of caved.

To the preser, could you say one hundred percent is a pressure.

Only just them asking you, because I know a lot of people get asked a lot of the time for only fans, Like even I'll get messages to I have an only fans and I have no People don't cave to the pressure. Why do you think you caved to then? Was the money attracted to you? Oh?

I mean, obviously money is a massive bonus, But I guess I just feel like I'm never going to be able to escape that narrative, yeah, of being you know, sexual and like overly sexualized, and that's just like I can't I can't escape it anymore.

So I was like, I may as well capitalize off it. Yeah, So I'm not going to like suffer from it and feel like a victim from it.

I'm just I'm gonna do what I can to empower myself from it.

Yeah, does that make sense?

Yeah, And now that you made the decision to actually do it, and obviously you've done it number one because of pressure, because everyone was kind of like at you because.

Obviously you're so gorgeous, super sexy.

People have seen you and been like wow, like if only we could get her only fans, then you've kind of been I guess in a way pressured into doing it, but you in a way were like, well, this is going to empower me because I'm taking control of the narrative. Do you feel like you feel empowered after like starting it.

Yes, Because it's my platform that I control. I feel this sense of control over my body, and I feel like, as women, a lot of times in our lives, we feel like we don't have control over our bodies and we're constantly being told what we should be doing with our bodies. And even just being having the decision of what I post and the fact that I can make money off this.

It truly is empowering. And I wouldn't lie to you.

Yeah, No, I believe you one hundred percent.

And it was affecting me mentally or I wasn't enjoying it, I would not do it because I'm not that much of a weaker person that I'm just going to do something solely for money.

Yeah.

And you've got to understand that people that are subscribing to you, they're not there to like make you feel like shit. They're there because they like admire you in some way, and it's not all about like seeing sexy.

Photos of me.

I've literally had people subscribe because they just want to chat or people ask me relationship advice.

I subscribed to you for that, to be.

Honest, like, yeah, I've had people just like you know, and even a lot of men that are just like, I just want to talk to you about like you seem like you know, you have some knowledge, like you know your shit. I just want to talk to you about relationship issues and like my emotions, and I've had these conversations with men and it's like it's just not all about that.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's not the most conventional way to make money, but obviously the market is flooded these days and a lot of people are doing it. How did your friends and family take it when you did it? Were they supportive or were they Yes?

So my mom she said to me, as long as you're not doing anything like it's hard because it's.

Like porn, yes, not having sex on.

There, yeah, like not doing like hardcore stuff like that, then she's like that, She's like, go for it.

She's like when I was at your.

Age, she said, I had these like amazing nude photos taken and they were like her at the beach and she literally had one hanging up in our living room. I love it, and it was like an insanely beautiful photo and I never felt weird about it.

My mom never felt weird about it.

And my mum always told me that like nudity and photos like that, there's nothing wrong with it. Yeah, it's like beautiful. So my mom was sort of like absolutely, She's like, just do it. Yeah, what if you got to lose? You don't want to work in politics. You're not a teacher, like you don't, you know what I mean? So just like just do it?

Why not?

You know?

And it's you're so right, Like the human body is so beautiful, and it's such a shame that we've been conditioned to feel like it's shameful or it should be hidden or like you know, women have to cover up their nipples, but men can just you know, do.

It like they can.

Yeah, exactly, And so you know, it's such a good point that you make, like why not.

Yeah, She's like why not?

And I just feel like women, even from when we're young, we're taught to be like ashamed of our bodies, like even ashamed of getting periods and ashamed of having bodily functions. And I feel like there's so much shame put on women about their bodies that.

It's kind of like taking back that power.

Yeah, And I always say to like, I even I have this like private account on Instagram now it's called Phoebe No feels I follow it.

Or do you?

And I posted this photo and I said, like, you know, my mum always said to me, make sure you get some amazing nudes in your life when you're young or when you're feeling really good about yourself, so you can look back at those photos and think, fuck, I was like insane, even if it's just for you.

Yeah, And like, you know, I know there's a lot of negativity put on only fans or personal websites, but I honestly think it's like so positive and you know, as long as you're mentally in a good headspace and why not.

Yeah, I like my mom's parents are very conservative. My dad's very conservative, and I get that. And I've had like male friends, Like one of my male friends he said to me, he's like, I don't have an issue with like exclusive content, but he's like, but my parents do. So I could never date a girl that had that, he's even if I fell in love with her, I have no issue with it, but it's just I can't my parents and I get that, and I'm like that's fine, and I totally respect that.

Yeah, and look, that's a really good segue into what we wanted to ask you, because obviously you went onto Love Island to find love?

Have you found love?

This is literally like I get this is another I'm getting pressured like as well, like I did with only fans about like people just asking me, are you dating anyone? It's been years, we've not seen you even like as a whiff of like.

Anyone in your life.

And I think I just I had such a toxic relationship my last relationship I was in with for three years that I've kind of now been like, I want to be super super private.

I don't want to post.

Anything on social media on this some we're like married, Like, I'm just keeping that shit to myself because people just hurt you and ruin it and disappoint you, and I don't want to do that publicly.

It's rough.

Yeah, it's so rough.

And also people try and sabotage you. So if someone knows that you're dating this person, that can be you know, the green light to go and start shit to try and ruin your relationship. People like hate people who are happy, and they try and like sabotage things. So I was like, I don't want to give any other girl's AMMO or any other guy's AMMO to try and like attack anything.

Special that I have. But yeah, I've definitely I've dated since Love Island.

Anyone's special right now?

Okay, yes, I have been.

I have been saying a guy, yeah, and I've actually known him for like ten years.

Cool, So I first met him when I was like twenty twenty.

One, on and off for ten years.

Or It's kind of weird because like when I met him, I broke up with my current boyfriend for six months, and in that breakup, I like moved to a different state. Wow, And I was kind of like I met him and we were like just nothing serious, just very casual, and then I left and got back with my boyfriend. We always just kept in contact and we never ended up together. I mean, he was kind of had his issues and I had my issues and whatnot. And I've like, I'll

And that's totally understandable.

Like I just feel like the more toxicity and pain you've gone through, the high those walls become right.

Oh absolutely, And it's gotten to the point now.

But after Love Island, I was so like even prior to Love Ireland, and after Love Island, I was single and it was probably the only time I've been properly single for a long period of time since I was about fifteen. So I had a lot of emotional baggage and trauma from past relationships.

But now it's gotten.

It got to the point where I was like so comfortable being single that I would not let anyone in.

But you did so much work on yourself, like talking as like your friends.

Like you you were.

Single and you were properly single, like you weren't even texting anyone, and you were like no, Anna, like I can't, I can't do it, Like I'm not letting anyone in because I just have to like be alone.

I have to learn how to be alone, and like I need to learn how to regulate my emotions myself, and I don't want to crave attention all the time. I don't want to have to need to do that because I feel like when you do that, you just attract like pieces of shit because you're like just kind of a bit desperate.

Yeah, and you're kind of just willing to go okay, like I'll put up with that, that and that because they'll have someone to home to sleep with it.

Now, Yeah, like I just I just need I need to that's the only like I need that security that someone wants me. And I was like, I want to get rid of that so I don't end up with assholes anymore. And I would literally go months without even like kissing a guy.

Yeah I remember, but I'm the big core remember.

But and you know what, that's the crazy thing, Phoebe, is that like you don't sleep around at all. Like I've known you for two years now, like when we were both single, I went out, I was kissed a boy, and you were just like home to bed, like honestly, and that's it. And there's nothing wrong with that obviously, like either way. But like you know, obviously, because you have your own website now, like only fans or whatever you want to call it, people have this perception of you.

Yeah, exactly.

And I feel like a lot of the time these women that are doing these not all of them, but like a lot of them that I know, they're not promiscuous.

They just are business savvy.

They just want to capitalize off everything they possibly can.

Yeah.

Question, so you're seeing you guy, what's his thoughts on you having your exclusive content?

So obviously, like we've known each other for a really long time and like being you know, on and off friends and whatnot. Never been together, and he obviously knew I was doing the website. But he is like an entrepreneur. He's like quite successful in his own right, and he is very like he doesn't see things as like he doesn't get too emotionally invested in things. He sees it as like that's an amazing way to make money that

He loved it.

He just thought it was like this is the best thing. He was like, if I was a chick, I would be doing X y Z. And he even like started helping me with the whole business side of things and giving me ideas to like, you know, earn more money or to generate this or to generate that. Like he was so on board with it and still is and even if I'm like slacking or he'd be like, babe, you should go and do this, like or do this or have you been on you know, you know, just very encouraging.

That's awesome because like you guys are seeing it for what it is, like it's a business at the end of the day.

Yeah, exactly. And he's you know, he's a bit older. He's like thirty five, So he's not a little boy. He's a fucking he's a man, you know what I mean.

Like that I was looking.

So it's never been an issue for you guys or nah.

So one time we did have an argument and he fucking brought it up.

What did he say?

Like I was actually getting a little bit heated towards him because of how like his sort of behavior with other girls right.

On social media.

We all, I feel like every couple has goes with a weird thing with like how the other one is behaving on social media making comments like that ship, I can't handle that ship.

Yeah, I've just gone through it. It's about setting the boundaries and what you.

Expect and respecting your partner. And to me, it's like I'm very proud. So I'm like, if the guy that I'm seeing is out on Instagram like commenting on other girls photos, I'm like, that's it's embarrassing, like and especially.

Well the thing okay, well, I'm just trying to tell I'm just going to.

Tell the story.

We want to hear it, so obviously, like I'm I'm a.

Model as well, and I'm like, you know, there's a pretty big model scene in Sydney, and I noticed a guy that I was that I'm seeing every single model in Sydney, and most of them, I know, every time i'd their page would come up, he would be liking.

Their photos follow it.

Well yeah, yeah, yeah, he follows a lot.

He likes models.

Oh okay, well I thought he might go out of his way and just yeah, yeah, in the Explorers.

He's following them, he's liking their photos, he's commenting.

I saw a couple of comments they weren't really like they weren't to like sleazy or aggressive or anything. But I know what fucking men are doing when they're going on and they're liking lots of girls photos that he doesn't even know. You know, you're trying to get your attention, their attention. Sorry, And especially he's got a type. He likes dark skin, dark hair, Like I feel every model in Sydney that like has a similar look to me. He'd be hard out in there liking their photo and

Like it's true what you're doing, Like, fuck me, it's like a beautiful glamazon like stunning woman, Like why what is the.

Need for these guys?

He's been chasing for like nine years, He's literally been chasing me for nine years and now he's and he's finally got me, and you are trying to do Pettias ship like that. And then I kind of bring it up because I'm like, very I'm not I'm not afraid, Like I'll just say if I don't like something, I'll fucking tell you.

Respect you for it.

Yeah, I love that.

And he just turns around, he's like, what do you This is like, you know, trying to be like you're you're being fucking dramatic.

It doesn't mean anything. And then he goes and how can you even talk?

You've got a fucking website And I was like, no, not.

Like, don't even go don't even go there.

And the thing is is, I know he doesn't even care. He's not triggered by my website at all.

He loves it. He just hurt it to hurt me.

And I said, I like, you know, broke it down very quickly. I was like, that is so fucking low, Like I was doing this before I met you.

You knew I was doing this, and you've been.

One hundred percent encourage and encouraging.

You can't pick and choose when you want to be like, you know, okay with it and supportive. And I'm like, what you're doing right now, you're just trying to fucking hurt Mexic.

It's so toxic.

I was like, if you ever bring up my website and an argument again to use against me, like we are fucking.

Done straight up, and he didn't.

He hasn't brought it up since, but like you know, who knows something nice?

Has he liked any girl's photos?

Since I don't think you understand like I'm a dictator, Like I'm like, you cannot even you can't even sneeze without me knowing.

I like the littlest things.

But that comes, I think from being hurt and having commitment issues and also self sabotage. Like it hasn't been easy for him either, because when things are really good, I will find something to have a go at him about because I'm scared of things being good in me having to like commit.

Yeah, and you know what, at least you're aware of it and you're you know what's happening and if you want, hopefully you're stopping those like little self sabotage moments.

I'm aware and I become like I have my little like being a psycho or whatever, being dramatic, and then I'm it only takes me a couple of hours to

I'm here. Yeah, it's all around security.

Everything as we as humans is about being secure and insecure.

Yeah, I've been in scenarios and that hasn't worked.

But how exactly what did you say about we're.

Not interviewing me, we're interviewing Yeah, I.

Can't like you know what, you know what. I'm so glad you touched on this because it's so true.

Like if I get upset about something that I'm insecure about in past relationships that were classified, I guess it's toxic and someone just bites back at me.

It can start a huge war.

But it makes you feel more insecure.

Or insecure, and then it's just like a mountain of just like trouble and problems. But the moment someone says, Babe, I can see you're really stressed out, I just want you to know that I'm here, Like you're saying, are you going around?

I'm not going to abandon you.

I love you. Like all of this is a safe space for you. Affirmation, Yeah, it goes both ways ways and like literally it's it's very powerful.

And I think it's a lesson that we can all and like, if your partner is feeling insecure, you can tell them that. But then also like it's good to school them and be like, look like this is what I need from you in those moments where you can tell I'm feeling a little bit maybe irrational, a little bit insecure. I feel like it might be like starting a fight or whatever.

It is, starting a argument.

I feel like sometimes I can see the words coming out of my mouth and I'm like just trying that. I'm like, don't do it, and argument starts.

Phoebe, we could literally talk to you all day. We have to get you back on our show, Like this has been so amazing. I have so much more stuff I want to talk to you about.

This part of the No no, no, no no.

Don't worry. I'm going to push for you, toget.

No no no.

We genuinely want to have you back on like, I have so much more topics that I just feel like we can absolutely rip into. Thank you for coming on the show. It's been so good to see you. Like, I'm so sorry I haven't seen you in too long, but of course, like you know, at the State of the World, I haven't been able to come to Sydney. But honestly, thank you for coming on because this has been so good, and thank you for being so open.

Yeah. Thanks, it's been a pleasure.

Okay, thanks God. Until next time, guys,