"I Walked in on Him Using My Poop as Lubricant?!" || HOTLINE

Welcome back to the Where's Your Head At? Hotline, our weekly show where we catch up with each other and connect with you all on our hotline voicemail.

We want to hear from you, guys, so please send your stories, questions, advice or tea to Where's Your Head at pod at gmail dot com to be featured on one of our episodes.

I'm Anna and I'm Matt. Let's jump in, Matt. It's twenty twenty three. Happy New Year, Happy.

New Year, Anna. Welcome to a big episode in a big year. Geen to be here.

Oh no, it's so weird to be back in the studio. We've had a little bit of time off. I'm feeling refreshed. How is your New Year?

It was good? So, like I said last year, I didn't have any plans for New Years. I got a lot of I got a little itchy towards the end.

I thought, you cha.

The boys were trying to push a couple of events on me, and I was like, you know what, I don't I don't want to go. I'm not I want to have a nice, relax year. So we just went down to Olwood Beach and sat there beautiful. I had a bottle of mum and just mom and just sat there and relaxed and watched the fireworks. It's a good view, so you could see the fireworks from like the city, I guess, like the middle of the city and the docklands. You see the whole all the fireworks. So that was

I saw that.

And let rift there, so I made up for having New Year's Eve off.

So you're feeling dusty, Are you feeling refreshed, energized? How are you feeling? What's what's going on in the life of Matt?

Well, there's never the breaks in never long enough, are they? Then I wish it was a little bit longer.

First day back, I actually took the wrong route here because I was just like, do you know what's so annoying about holidays is my sleeping pattern is just so bad. Throughout the whole of last year, I was waking up at like six on the dark, wake up at six just like buy myself, get a coffee, watch the morning TV, and like this morning, I was like, had alarm after alarm this morning.

So I normally would get up at like yeah on Mondays at six to watch the NFL. Yeah, coffee, but fantasy is over. I didn't make well, I lost in playoffs, so it's over. So there's no point really getting up now. So I was like in a dark place through all my alarms, and then I turned on for a bit and I was like to go to the studio.

I've been getting up at like, no joke, this is so bad, but like nine am, ten am, Like my sleeping pattern is so bad. And Michael and I have been going to bed at like one am, two am. Yeah, so like we've been watching shows, We've been watching movies, we've been playing games, like especially because it's light nights at the moment, Like we have a beautiful balcony, so we've just been sitting out there relaxing. But yeah, sleeping

You got here before me? So that show.

I did get here before that, but I almost didn't because I took the wrong turn off and I was like, wow, I need another coffee, but where'd you go? Like you know, when you're heading to the West Gate and then you take it. I almost took the airport turnoff and I was like, no, I.

Actually did, but like I was a bit more onto it.

Yeah yeah, but then I was like, I need another coffee. But one of my newest resolutions that I'm implementing is only two coffees a day, which I've stuck to so far because the thing is is I had no limits, and when you have no limits, you just go coffee after coffee after coffee, Like you're telling me, it's a both of our vises. And I was like, I can't keep doing this. I feel like it's like I want to be the healthiest version of myself this year, and six coffees just ain't it for me anymore.

Buying six coffees that's what did it for me.

It's like, also, no, I don't even do the masks with me. I don't want to know.

The break. And I was like, so I was making.

Yeah, I've been actually getting the little Nest cafe ones and they are good.

Yeah. I put them in the pod and then make an ice one. Oh yeah nice.

It was really good. Mill Dura was amazing. We got to hang out with our nephew. He's growing up so quickly. I was like, oh my god. Yeah, we had so much fun with him. We bought him a paddling pool and he loved it. So six months. Yeah, but I feel like he's so advanced. I'm just like, we're both obsessed with him, and leaving him was really sad, and obviously the whole family, like, we had an amazing Christmas. Then we came home, had Christmas with my family, and

Wedding, three massive things as well.

Massive thing massive. I'm going to be in Europe for I think two and a half weeks, so not too.

Long, a nice little stink down there, and just Greece. You're going to do anything.

We're going to do Greece, Spain, Italy, France and then home. Do you have any holidays? Yeah, exactly. Do you have any holidays planned this year?

I want to do the I want to do the States, so like probably get there at like October, go like say there for Halloween, watch like a bunch of NFL I love that, a bunch of NFL games in different states, and then like be there for Thanksgiving and then finish up in New York for like Christmas period.

Oh so you're going away for a couple of months, like six weeks.

Okay, that's what I want to do sort of something like that.

That's what Laura did. My best friend Laura, she did that this year. She went away for that time. Yeah, and it was it looked really good. Like she went to a beautiful and amazing Halloween party. Then she was having Thanksgiving with people. It looked incredible.

So yeah, I want to do then. Yeah, finish up in New York, see all like the Christmas stuff Times Square and not Times Square, Rockefeller, Pasa that tree, do all that, and then come home for Christmas time to be with my family.

Beautiful.

So yeah, that's what that's my goal. That's what I'm working towards. Obviously that's months away, but we'll see, we'll see what happens.

I love it. Well, do you have any recommendations for us this week?

Now? Okay, so my recommendation is a little bit different. It's something that was flagged with me. It could also be, to be honest, it could also be like a New Years resolution at the same time, so like it, I probably have done it on this episode to be fair, and I reckon a lot of people are going to call me out for this. It's saying just so like say, oh, like what do you do for work. I just have a podcast. What you're doing is you're minimizing what you actually are doing.

So true.

You know, so like someone goes, oh, what did you eat for lunch? Or just a just a rap, you know, like it's a rap, it's a mule, you know.

I mean like, yeah, so it takes away from like the gratitude that you should be giving that rat Oh yeah, yeah.

Exactly, yeah, well likely stuff like that, you know what I mean, Like you're minimizing stuff, and then I guess you're suppressing yourself and you're suppressing like your future, like you know what I mean.

Your future, yourself, everything like that, and.

Like or what you've done, you're suppressing what you've done. So my my recommendation is for everyone is to stop saying just yeah and you're like explaining something.

So Matt, what do you do?

You say?

No, No, that's okay, that just is okay because it's like adjoining.

Yeah, because it's adjoining.

Yes, So, Matt, what do you do for work?

I have a podcast? Will Yeah I nearly said it as well. I absolutely said it.

So it's a habit for you that you're trying to break. Basically, Yeah, I love that.

Do you think you do that at all?

I haven't noticed, but I'm gonna I'm gonna have I'm going to keep a look out this week and I'll let you know. But if I do say it, I'm going to nip it in the bud because I definitely don't want to minimize any sort of gratitude that I should be giving to all assets of my life.

Yeah, I mean once it was flagged with me, and I'm really big on language and how like if you say one thing one way or you say it another way, it can be perceived a different way, you know what I mean. So I'm big on that. So I am. Yeah, I'm gonna flag it and be on top of it.

I love it. I was actually reading this thing recently and it was just talking about like having such a having a positive mindset and how it plays such an important role in what you're gonna do in your future, who you're going to become, and like I think during the holidays, I had a bit of a negative day. I was a bit down on myself, I was second

Well that's what happens.

Yeah, yeah, just from being negative on myself. And so I started practicing gratitude again, which we always talk about, and practicing being the best version of yourself and talking to yourself like you would talk to a best friend. And I had the best day, and I was like, I'm going to do this every single day this year,

Well, I did I notice that when I did that TikTok of the year of twenty twenty two, I was going through all my videos from the year and I was like, fuck, like this is all in one year. Like I've done this traveling, I've gone to this place, I've done this. I was like wow, I was like I'd actually stopped and I was like, fuck, I'm grateful for that stuff I've done and I've been given and all that sort of stuff.

Absolutely.

Yeah, yeah, what are your recommendations for this week?

Okay?

So I have two. The first one is a Netflix documentary that I watched with Michael. I don't know if you've seen it yet. It's called Don't pick Up the Phone.

It sounds like a horror thriller sort of thing.

It's really good. It's super confronting and just like Michael, okay, Michael kept like pausing it and being like, can you fucking believe this? And I was like, I actually can't believe what I'm watching.

What is it documentary or is it it's.

Okay, I'm gonna try and give a little bit away without giving too much away. It's basically about this guy who prank calls like fast food outlets like McDonald's or Taco Bell or whatever it is, and he sees how far he can push the employees. But it gets like to a level of sexual assault. It gets really dark. But yeah, just give it a watch. Let me know what you think. Come back to me.

So is it based on true events or tru events?

Oh?

True events? And it's terrifying, really yeah, it was. It was very confronting to me, and just like when you watch it, you think, how would I react in that situation? Would I go as far as these people are going if I was manipulated in the ways that they're manipulated. It's super interesting and just like really thought provoking. So next week I'm going to ask you if I've watched it, if you've watched it, and I want to know what you think.

Well, okay, I've got another recommend. If we're talking about show. I just finished The White Lotus Season one.

I've been meaning to watch that.

Well, we turned on, so I don't know if any who has foxtail app but if someone else has watched it, so if someone in my family's watched it already. So it starts from like the second season, like it's actually been done before by heaps of people. So we watched the second season and we got like halfway through, and I was like, I don't remember these people being on the trailer, and then I realized that we were halfway through the second season, but lucky enough that they don't join.

That's so confusing. What the hell?

Yeah, it's weird.

I've been told so many times that I need to watch this show. But people start by saying, they go, season one's really slow, season two is unreal, and then I'm like, it's not really enticing me to watch it.

I just do what I did.

When you're saying season one slow, but maybe I'll do.

What you did. Do what I did, just watch season two. Season two was it's not Season two was slow as well. It's just it's building up to something. It's just watch it.

To make a deal. Frustrating you watch, don't pick up the phone and I'll watch White Loaded.

Half of three. Season one.

I don't.

I don't want to stop watching that. I'm still intrigued by that.

Trust me, if you watch. Don't pick up the phone. You will get so addicted like I did, and you'll need to like binge it because we fully binge. How many episodes I think it's like four or five. It's not it's not too many, but it's like once you start, you're like, I need to finish. I'll list my second recommendation because I just got excited because I haven't seen you in a little hotfack. I'm back. I feel like

How do you know your Gut House Flack quotes.

I think I've just been feeling extremely bloated.

I get really bad intigestion.

Do you Yeah, I get a little I think me too. And I've never really been the person who has gotten bloated. I've heard lots of people around me talking about being bloated. But in the past like three to four months, I reckon I've taken about four pregnancy tests because I was like, what's going on. I was like, I must be pregnant.

I'm bloated. I'm always floated. That's why I look like this. I'm constantly bloated. That's why I Pelly, what do you mean.

That's how you look like?

There kidding, but anyway, not pregnant. Just to clarify, and do have gut health issues. So we're working on the Gut Healthy cear. We're going to talk about it on the pod.

Do you know any other fermented foods?

I think there's sour kraut, there's kim chi. MAT's looking at me like I'm crazy? What about miso soup? Yeah, having a miso suit once a day would be super good. I think bone broth. Yeah, so all of those things. I'll come in with the listen next week and we can talk more about it. But yeah, we're getting the gut health in check. I think when your gut healths in check, it really helps with your mental health. So you know, this is going to be the year to smash it out, and I think it's going to start

We can't get to the phone right now.

But please leave us a message on our hotline after the beep. Okay, So this week we had a bunch of gold in our voicemail and our producer Alex has chosen a few for us to listen to now.

Okay, so we haven't heard these at all. So the first one comes from Bi Anchor.

All right, a horror story for you.

This is about when I was left in the guy that I was seeing's apartment on my own after week been out. One night, like we'd come back to his apartment. We were having some drinks with me and my friend and next minute we were on the balcony. We just said, heard the door shut and he'd gone. He'd left, he'd taken his keys. Didn't hear from him, have no idea where he'd gone. He wasn't answering his phone. I'd been seeing him probably for about maybe four months. I think

Me that they were separated.

Oh no, And yeah, I think i'd been here about to him for I think it was almost three or four days. He just didn't return his call. I was getting so worried. I was about to call his mum. I was so stressed and worried about his safety. And then when I did hear back from him, he didn't give me any explanation around what had happened. I message him basically saying that you need to give all my stuff that I've left in your house and also locked

He's married.

Yeah, I got all my stuff back and I saw him and I was in a state and a half. But yeah, the plot thickens.

It definitely thickens.

Definitely found out that the girl or the mother of his child, they were trying to get back together. Oh yeah, she messaged me and do you see information there?

That's for sure?

Shit, how long do you reckon they were waiting? She said she was with their friend. How long do you reckon they're waiting in the apartment for just sitting there like triggering in their thumbs.

I'd probably just leave, I was about.

To say, wouldn't you just help yourself to like just more drinks? Just drink all these drinks and a right, I'm taken off.

Now take some souvenirs.

I'll just strip everything in his house. Take everything you can, Okay.

So our producer Alex knew that we'd want to hear her a little bit more info. So we actually have Bianca on the line and Hi, bi anchor.

Hi, how are you good?

Or we just listened to your voicemail, Thanks for sending one in. Can you just clarify just kind of what the voicemail was about? So you were seeing a guy for four months and he just randomly left you at his house one day without telling you he was leaving.

Yeah.

Literally, I met this guy on a dating app and we started seeing each other, like it was pretty full on. We were like, I've met his friends, I've met his mom, like I've met a lot of people in his life.

I knew that he.

Had an ex, and I knew that he had a child with the ex, but I wasn't faced by it because he was quite open about it, all right. And yeah, so one night we had come back from having dinner and bumping into one of my friends and having drinks, and we went back to his house and continued having a few drinks, and I think her and I must have been on the balcony and all of a sudden we heard a door slam and he just left his apartment and left the two of us there, and we

What the hell?

So were you exclusive with him then? Like he was full dating each other.

Yeah, we'd organized a holiday away together, like it was full on.

Really, Yeah, where was a holiday too?

I see it was up north.

We were going so kind of up near Byron and then up to Queensland. But we had to cancel it because it was during that time where everyone who was in New South Wales had to flee back.

Over the water.

Oh okay, so it all got canceled. So let me get this straight. He goes mia for how long? Four days?

Yeah? For about four days, did not hear from him.

I woke up in the morning and when he wasn't back, I thought, well, I'm not going to stay in your house with Like I had all my stuff from the holiday as well, because I'd come back straight to his place, so all of my stuff was in the house in his car. He had his car keys. I'm like, how am I going to get all my stuff? I don't know where it's gone?

So you stayed the night after he left?

This is so wild is this guy?

I'm well, I thought he'd come back. I'm like, surely he'll come back.

Right, Okay, So what's happened to him? Now?

What's happened to him?

I have no idea, Matt, I've got no clue and I don't care.

After the four days when he went missing, when he resurfaced, like, what was his excuse?

He was really confused about what he wanted, and basically he was implying that he wanted to get back with his ex. Yeah, and so I just made an assumption that that's where he'd gone.

I wasn't in the mood to talk to him. I thought, you know, if you don't have the respect to tell me where.

You've gone, and you've just vanished for the past four days and not given me anything, like I'm not giving you a time.

Of day, Like it's done, Like you've broken my trust.

So absolutely good on you. Absolutely fuck him. Yeah, do you reckon that he was with his supposed ex the whole time, Like they were still together the whole time, and he was just like doing the dirty on the side.

I love that you've said that, because that is exactly what happened.

I received a message from.

The ex like a couple of weeks after all this had happened, and it was pretty nasty, like she basically implied that I knew that they were still trying to get back together.

I'm like, why would I want to be the side girl, which is what she said, Why would I want to be that?

Like that's not the situation at all. So it was a very rude message. That she like sent me, and I at the start wasn't going to respond. I'm like, I'm not going I'm stooping to your level. But then she sent me another nasty message saying every time that he was with you, he's told me that he was thinking about me, like implying that when we were sleeping together he was thinking about her.

I'm like, oh, bitch, no, sorry.

That hurts.

Yeah.

I hate when like things like this happen and the ang or isn't like solely going towards the guy, like he's totally in the wrong, like you guys are just like collateral damage. Almost.

I was about to say, she shouldn't be having ancs, should be having a go at him.

Absolutely, Oh my god, BANKM so sorry this happened to you. You must be scarred.

Look, it's not it's not nice to go through, absolutely, but you know you take you take it with a grade of salt and try and learn learn from those types of lessons, but understand it.

It's really about them, it's nothing to do with yourself. Absolutely.

The funny thing is they did get back together, and I'm pretty sure they've broken up since then too, So yeah, so it couldn't.

See that trading or listening who could be potentially in a similar situation.

Ever.

Was there any red flags that you saw at the very start that you wish you had listened to?

Oh?

Yeah, so many red flags?

Like I think at that point, I've been single at that stage for maybe four four and a half years. I've been in a few many sort of relations ships that didn't really last too long since my ex. So for me, I think I was kind of what's that saying when you've got your love?

Yeah, exactly.

So I was completely just thinking about, Oh, this guy's you know, showing me all this attention, and he's you know, wanting me to meet his friends, and now he's wanting me to meet his mum. And I think I just got completely blindsided by a lot of it. But I mean he was constantly going down there and seeing his ex to see the child, and he'd stay down there too,

Yeah, it's such a tricky situation and super hard to navigate.

Yeah, I mean other red flags as well. I think he just had he had a lot of like past baggage. And you know, he was a big drinker too, and I think sometimes he'd do certain things when he'd be drinking, and he'd just like that wasn't the first time he'd just vanished. One night before I went on my holiday, we were all at his apartment with a few people having a few drinks, and he just left that night too, the night before I was going on my holiday.

So I mean it wasn't what left everyone at his apartment.

Yeah.

Yeah, I would never leave everyone at my house.

I'm not afraid of like people just like stealing a couple of for.

Someone that has something to hide, he doesn't care leaving people in his house to go through it all.

He's probably like that will just do. That's going to not crazy if anyone is just randomly leaving This is for our wears your head out listeners. If anyone is randomly leaving you at their apartment, run run.

Well how are you going now? Byanka, you obviously found someone.

No, I'm not. I'm single. Still on the hunt for mister Wright.

Well, good luck, Yanko. Thank you so much for calling in. We really appreciate it.

Thank you.

You guys, have a good day you too. Bye bye.

Okay, So the next voicemail we have in our mailbox is anonymous. Let's get into it.

So this weekend I had my bridle shower and I had all the girls surrounded me, and one of my girlfriends from Sydney came down and she was just telling us a story about what happened to her friend. Now, this is the craziest story and I did not for a minute predict the end of this. So one of her friends will just call her Cassie. Cassie was dating the head chef of a really renowned restaurant and she really liked him. You know, she'd been out of a

And over the.

Next couple of months, it was a little hard for them today because of his job was so demanding and her job was also quite demanding. But nevertheless they went out on a few good dates. Now, as he's a chef, he told her one day that he would like her to come over and he was going to cook dinner for her. She thought that was the best thing ever, so she told her friends again. They were all really excited for her. She gets to his house. He's cooked

She started to get a bit of.

Stomach cramps and excuse herself and went to the wanted to go to the toilet, so she told her She told him that she wanted to go to the bathroom, and he said to her, hang on a second, let me just go check that it's clean.

I've been working all day before we go. So she agreed. He then went into the bathroom and locked himself.

Now five minutes go past, and her stomach's really hurting at this stage, and she's saying to him, hey, I really need to go to the bathroom, and he's not saying anything, not a word, nothing, not a peep.

Then she's knocking on the door screaming, saying.

Please, I really really really need to.

Get in again. Nothing.

Finally she starts screaming and she's gone and sat on the couch and she's absolutely shut herself.

She's sitting in.

You know, it's all water diarrhea and she's.

Sitting in it.

He comes out and she says, get out of here, please, just whatever you do, don't come in here. Go and lock yourself somewhere. I need to have a shower.

She goes, and she goes and has a shower.

And when she comes out, she's in a towel and she's going to clean up her mass and she says, is him masturbating in her diarrhea? So if that doesn't top all of the other stories, I don't know what does.

What on earth is going on? That is fucking sick?

Oh well, he had to get off somehow, so he's.

Purposely given her diarrhea.

I re locked the bathroom, so she shits herself.

You know what, That is the most twisted story I think I have ever heard.

My mind was thinking that was what was going to happen. I was like, nah, you've been watching your mind thought that watching too many like weird like movies like Criminal Wives and shit, like it's not going to go that way. And then it did and I was like fuck, but like.

Okay, let me put myself in Cassie's situation. If I was about to ship myself, I would leave over like shitting myself in his house, Like I would prefer to like ship myself in a book.

You would, wouldn't you?

You wouldn't like leave remnants of it on the couch, like that's disgusting.

To go through her.

Course, maybe he was gonna like masturbate to like the fact that she shouted herself. But then he like, so, wait, is he getting off on the smell?

I want to vomit gives me.

I'm literally getting like my skin is crawling in disgust.

I mean, who we judge that that's how he gets off. But like, this.

Guy's a chef in a top restaurant. He's probably putting diarrhea and all of our food.

Trying to make people sh themselves in the restaurant. No, I wonder what he did, like to make it do that.

He probably puts some like strong laxatives in there. I like actually want to vomit. I can't deal, can you please? We need to get the details of this restaurant so no one ever goes out the wise. We're going to get laxative strong food caviar with this side of laxatives.

Oh imagine walking out and seeing him just going nuts in your shit, so disgusting, so fucking.

Actually so fucked And the fact that he knows that she's about to see it, Like he knows she's about to walk out.

I probably thought he could get it done quickly.

We actually have nothing to say. We've never been speechless before. Man. I just I feel like it's getting really hot in here, and I feel really stressed out.

Yeah, that's pretty great. I wasn't. Yeah, like I said, I was expecting it in my mind to go that way, but I never actually thought it would be that fucking twisted.

The fact that you expected it to go that way in your mind makes me a little bit concerned for you. But that's okay.

Yeah, I just like I've seen enough of these like criminal minds as for you to be like, there's some sick people out there.

Okay, guys, thank you so much for joining us on this week's hotline. That went really dirty, really quick.

Yeah, literally dirty, filthy, filthy.

Just a reminder that we want to hear from you, guys, So send your storytime questions, advice, tee or any topics at all to our Instagram or where's your Head at podat gmail dot com to be featured on an episode and our producer Alex will be in touch.

We have a massive episode as well. Tomorrow we have the winners of Love Island Season four on the podcast, Claudia and Austin.

We can't wait to chat to them that it's going to be a very tea filled episode. So until next time, Bye bye,