I HAVE THE ICK....

I've definitely dated my fair share of douchebags.

My time just get tingling balls.

Oh I'm spiraling, Oh my God, tell us.

Everything flame emojis slept frighton center.

Matt loves a bit of God and.

I need to text you back. I'm really needing with that.

I know I'm jealous. I'm the most jealous person ever.

Relationships like a fart. If you have to force it, It's probably shiit Hi.

City dot Com for you.

I'll be a bloody single and alone with ten cats for the rest of my life. Lie Lie.

On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we'll be discussing the ick and surviving rejection.

Stay tuned to hear about all the times the ike ruined a perfectly good thing we had going on. Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more.

Anna Anna, Anna, Matthew, Matthew, Matthew.

I tell you what I'd really love, and everyone and listening would really love.

What's that?

Matt for you to tell us about the new relationship milestone you've had with your man Michael.

God, you're going straight into the deep hair I am.

I'm not here to fuck spiders.

Who didn't come up with this?

I mean, yeah, look I have I'm still not over them. Related what is it the fucking spiders thing? Yeah, I've had another relationship milestone.

Congratulations, thank you.

As as you alluded to, there was a love bomb dropped by yourself or Michael, Michael dropped the love bomb?

Okay? Is are you normally the first say it? Or is your partner normally.

I'm never the first to say it, even if I feel it, I always wait because I just don't want to get ahead of myself because I, as do you go a bit headfirst into the deep end, and once I do feel it, I just wait for them to say it.

Okay, So what happens everyone's itching to know now?

Well, basically, we went on a little picnic with two of his friends. I met them, We had some cocktails, we got a bit tipsy, and after the picnic we walked home. The sun was setting all around us. It was pretty romantic. Romantic, had a bit of a buzz on from the apparol spritzers, and yeah, it was honestly so pretty, we'll buy the lake. And he basically told me he loved me, and I told him I loved him too.

That's really cute. That is a couple of goals.

That is.

But this isn't the first time he said the big L word, is it.

I don't know if he's going to be happy to throwing him under the bus like.

This, sorry mate, but we're going to call you out yourself to yourself. Brother.

God.

Yes, I think like four or five dates in he said it a couple of times when he was quite drunk.

And then wait.

Four or five dates, what does that transpire the timing wise, So.

It was probably like two weeks.

He said it a couple of times, like maybe three or four times, and then all of a.

Sudden he stopped saying it. And I was like, oh, you.

Know, they say when you know, you know, so maybe he just knew when you know you know?

I mean hopefully, but I mean I think it is probably too early to say.

At the two week monk, it was like a slip.

Of the tongue, you know, when you're really drunk and you're like really vibing someone.

And I did say it back though, to be fair, but I just.

You know, look, I'm going to step off my high horse and I'm going to say I can vibe with Michael on this one here.

So I'm not surprised.

On the weekend, me and magical date girl, as if we know whereas we're having apparolls oh low and common denominator here.

If you have an apparol here might drop for elbow.

I actually warned her the week before. I said, well, we're planning on having a bit to drink here. I was like, I'm probably going to say something stupid. I know how I feel at the moment, but but we're drinking. All my roomies were sitting there. Then she started kissing me, and she was like, I really really like you, Like I'm so lucky to have you like this sort of stuff. And I was and I was like, I was like, I think I love you. Did not, oh my god,

So you stepped in it, and then.

You're just yeah, yeah, so I backpedled quite a bit. And to be honest, it hasn't been brought up since.

So you guys were drunk, you said it, and then you work out the next day did mention it?

Here's the rug? He is only just sweeping it under. I will leave that for another day.

But now you're going to have to have this conversation because he just told me and everyone else the story.

Well, she's she's a die hard listener, so I'm sure after this gets released we'll be having that chat.

So were you unsweeping this under the rug right now? Oh?

Shit?

I should probably rethink about what I'm doing here.

You're probably going to have to have that conversation with her and remind her of you you dropping the big album.

And just say, look, it might have been a little bit premature, but that's the only place some.

Yeah, this is a clean podcast. You're dirty.

But what the main thing I'm worried about is have I given her the ick by saying that? Is it too soon? Is that what the ick is?

Let's jump right into that. I'm ready to talk about the IK.

Let's do that, all right, Let's dive in. All right, So, first of all, Anna, what is the ick? The so called dreaded eck?

So Matt's never heard about the ek, which is surprising in itself, or hadn't heard of the ik before we decided to do this episode.

But basically, what the ick is.

Is when you feel instantly repulsed by someone. So you might have got on a few dates, you might have been on one date, You could be with them for seven, eight, nine years, it could be a long term relationship. All of a sudden you get the ick and it's something specific that they do that you get cringed out by. You get this very strong gut reaction. It can be based on anything. It can be their mannerisms, the way they blink, the way they breathe, the way they tie

So yeah, So what you're trying to say is, never get comfortable in a relationship.

Never get comfortable, Never get to be comfortable because you don't know when the eck is around the corner.

Well, like you said, I had never heard of the ick. I first heard of it on a TikTok someone said something when they hit the eck, and I remember sending it to you and I was like, what's this ick people talk about? So I looked a little bit into it, and yeah, I don't think I've ever had the ick.

Yeah, so mainly girls get the ick most of the time. It's a girl thing. So girls get the ick. But as it's been spoken more and more about, guys have been actually I do get the ick. I think I might have got the ick here. They just maybe didn't know the terminology as well as girls do for it. But yeah, most of the time girls will get the ick over guys.

All right, So you're telling me that the ick could be from the way you laugh or tell a joke.

Even Yep, it could be literally anything.

See, I think that I may have given some girls the ick.

I'm sure you have.

Math. I'm sure you have, because as we know, I have a real dry off the cuff sense of humor, and a lot of girls I've noticed that I'm dating or seeing really struggle with it.

Struggle with your sense of humor.

Yeah, they don't. And I can tell that sometimes when I say my jokes off my calf, I can feel the energy shift in the room and I'm.

Say your jokes just aren't landing very well.

Yeah, some people get it, some people don't. Yeah, so some girls don't get it, and I mean I've noticed that a lot of them. A lot of girls have sometimes been like some of these things. I've said, how long does it usually take to catch the ick?

Well, I mean there's normally five stages. So there's the getting to know someone stage, there's dating them, whether that's a first date or one hundred dates in. Then there's the realization stage, where you just have this gut intuitive feeling that something's wrong and you get that intuition that you're just a bit repulsed and turned off and a bit grossed out by that person, and then they head straight to the friends.

Does that happen a lot in long term relationships?

I mean, look, I.

Know a few people in long term relationships who can sometimes get the ick. And the problem with the ick is it's so hard to shake off once.

You get it.

So Anna, have you ever had the ick? Then?

I mean it, to be honest, I reckon, pretty much every guy dated has ended up giving me the ick. That's probably why it hasn't worked out. I reckon, you just get the ick when subconsciously you know that it's not right, but you haven't yet admitted it to yourself. So deep down you know that it's not going to work out with you and this person, and maybe you were still seeing them or still going on dates with them, and then intuitively your guts like stop wasting your time.

Okay, so decent time.

Yeah, super attractive guy, super sweet, super lovely.

He's your type as well.

He was my type. Like literally, there was nothing wrong with him. He was amazing.

But I think deep down on you that it just wasn't gonna last, just like values wise, we were kind of it was a bit off, and I remember I remember I was thinking about ending it, but I hadn't quite done it yet. And I remember I woke up in the morning.

He was at my apartment and he had a cold, which is fine, and he started.

I sound like a huge bitch right now, But honestly, you can't help getting the ick, like you can't help it anyway. He obviously was probably not feeling that great. He started blowing his nose so loudly. When I say so loudly, like I can still hear this nose blowing, like it cringes me out.

Like I'm just like, oh, yuck. And in that moment, I knew that I had the ick.

And after that we stopped seeing each other straight away or did you keep seeing him straight away like I the moment I got the ick and that gut feeling, I was just like it's done, Like I can't even keep going anymore, like I tried, it's.

Not gonna work out.

But just to show you that I'm not actually a bad and mean person. If Michael was to blow his nose my boyfriend it honestly like I couldn't care less, like I don't even hear it. But yeah, just when it wasn't right with someone, and I knew that deep down, I was just totally turned off.

So after you're telling these stories and I was spoken about the ick, I actually think that I may have got it. Really, So I was dating this girl, and she was a couple of years younger, okay, And we were laying bed until we started chatting and she started telling me a story from like school, and I was like fuck, and I realized she was she was like twenty one, but I realized how young she actually was.

So it made you feel a lot older because she was telling you school story.

Yeah, and I was like, I was twenty five, So I was like school for me was like like what eight years ago. I was just sitting there and I was like, oh, like, maybe you're a lot younger and a lot more immature than I thought you were, do you know what I mean? So is that sort of the ick? I don't know.

I think so like if you genuinely feel a bit like you just deep down in your gut, no that it's not right. So if that's a feeling you got, then yeah, maybe you got the ick if this is the.

Girl that I'm thinking about. Though, didn't she ghost you?

Ye?

Nah she did, We're honest here on this podcast. Yeah she did. But maybe she got the ick from me something I did.

Maybe she was like this guy's a dinosaur. This doesn't even remember the school days.

So I'm out hat you never, okay, Matt.

So we asked our as your head out listeners on Instagram what gave them the ig, and honestly, the things that people came back with were so funny.

A couple in particular. But we're gonna start.

I caught a couple of them and I was like, Oh, some of these would have even given me the same.

I was like, actually, now that I think about it, that probably would give me the egg.

Okay.

So the first one is boys eating pasta and having sauce over their mouth after the reason why I chose this one, Matt, is because every time I'm with Matt and we're having lunch or dinner or whatever, Matt has crumbs everywhere. So I thought this one was quite funny to start with.

I really hope my mum isn't listening. The one thing I promise her is that I'll have good table managed when I'm out, but she's disappointed.

Okay. The second one we have is bad breath.

I think that overall, like, I think that gives everyone.

The eat right.

Yeah, sometimes you give people benefit of the doubts.

Open up bit of morning breath.

Yeah, I feel personally victimized.

Okay, I feel bad because I feel like this one's very relatable to you as well. But said he loved me after two weeks.

That's not one I won.

Wasn't that you? Wasn't that your boyfriend as well? Didn't Did you get the ick?

No? I didn't get the ick, But lucky for him, I was pretty into him, So I mean.

Yeah, I haven't scared her away yet outside of that. Fair enough.

Okay, this one is we were only talking for forty eight hours and he sent me eleven eleven with nothing else written at the time.

Tell everyone the story.

What didn't you used to like send people eleven eleven, but you'd make an alarm clock for it, so you knew when to.

Yeah, my ex was pretty into the eleven eleven things.

So so basically what Matt would do, he'd set like a eleven ten alarm on its phone.

Not all the time, I do it occasionally, and then I'd always send eleven eleven. Make a wish it's meant to be.

I saw it again.

Cringe.

Okay.

The next one is he told me he only puts deodran on if he's leaving the house, not after every shower.

Come on, mate, lift your game. Right, you got to put on every time. It gives me the ick.

Okay, when a guy sits on a chair with his legs crossed, do you do that.

My leg uncross my legs.

Matt's really getting victimized. Yeah, maybe maybe maybe you give people the dick more people than life.

No, No, okay, I saw how many nose hairs he had and couldn't do it anymore.

I mean, groom yourself. Brother, I feel bad.

Like that's kind of out of your control.

Yeah, some blokes don't think about that.

Like get him a nose hair trimmer for Christmas or his birthday.

Towards it.

Yeah, but I feel like that can be.

That's somebody that summed up to bag grooming though, like he should probably groom himself a bit better.

That's a ten out of ten groom I should know.

Yeah, I know. I keep myself well groomed. So that one wasn't directed at me obviously.

Okay, this one I thought was really funny.

He had really small hands, so when his hand was on my thigh, it felt.

Like a child.

Yeah, that's that's really like grow Yeah, that is that'd give me the.

Yeah thinking about it.

Okay, there's two left I did save the best to last.

Am I getting victimized again? Or are these well?

Actually, yes you are, because it's.

Maybe maybe I should go over these now and not leave it to Anna.

Okay, second last one, it's from the Magical Date Girl. Oh bullshit, the girl that Matt's seeing get excited. She has told everyone something that gives her the ick, specifically about that.

Why she done me dirty? Like this, and it goes a little something like this, I don't want to hear it.

When he talks about Star Wars.

Nah, all right, so I know exactly what she's talking about. The other day, she has never seen Star Wars. So I pulled up Star Wars episodes on my TV and I had her in bed, and I was going through and like she was at school, and I was explaining the plotline of each one and how they were made and what order, and like who the main characters were in each one, and like what's what? And now you're getting the.

Ick you have hearing about it?

Well, I had to. I wanted to give her the background before we started on because you'd never seen him.

Yeah, you wanted to get her up today because you're a Star Wars fanatic In case anyone didn't know that about Matt.

And I keep alluding to my taking her back to my teenage room that I grew up in my mum's and how I've got Star Wars memorabilia everywhere. So I'm going to hold off on that.

As a friend. Matt.

If there's one piece of advice I want to give you is do not show her the Star Wars memorabilia.

A huge Empire Strikes Back poster above my bed, my limited edition.

It could go very bad. Okay.

And the final one is this isn't related to you. This is just I thought personally, this was like like the VIP comment, basically the MVP comment.

Yeah, okay, he sent me a.

Video in the mirror slinging his sick around randomly.

I was mortified.

I have never done that, nor sent an unsolicited dick pic. So that's not directed at me.

You know, it's not directed.

What happens if you'd got that video, then I.

Would probably like block. It's an instantaneous block from from.

A random guy. Yeah, obviously from a guy you're seeing. What about if your boyfriend sent you on?

I mean, it's just a bit odd, isn't it.

Why?

Why is there like a dick sling video. It's just a bit wild, and it's probably preferred that I don't get one.

If you're listening, Yeah, or any guys, if you're out there listening, probably don't do any of this stuff and take some tips for you, all right, So that's all we have time for on though, what gives you the ick segment?

Okay, So the reason why some people might get the IG is because we go on a first day and we have this expectation of the person that we're going at a first date with. We look on their social media, we paint this unrealistic picture of.

Who they are.

We put them on a pedestal, and sometimes we're let down when that person doesn't match up to the person that we've created in our own mind. So we have to be really mindful to go on a first date with someone or go into relationships with people and just be open and see them for what they are and not create this big image of what you think they should be.

Yeah. I completely agree, Anna, But in the end, it is good, though, to accept that gut feeling you have and accept it and move on.

I mean, although we're talking a lot about us getting the ink and kind of making fun of the fact that we've got the eck over people. We want to make sure that we're really clear on this that if you give someone the ick, it doesn't mean that you've done anything wrong. It's part of dating, and dating can be really challenging and really hard.

And we don't want to scare you away from it.

So we don't want to scare you away from dating. So let's jump into our top tips on how to survive rejection. Strong feelings of rejection can happen because your brain is wired to see all experiences as either acceptance or rejection instead of just regular occurrences that happen.

So when someone.

Gets the ick from you, you can take it really strongly on board, and you can feel like it's a huge rejection. And as we've experienced, dating is all about rejection, and every time you get past that next rejection and keep moving forward, you're one step closer to finding that person that you're potentially going to spend forever with.

All Right, So I have some tips for facing rejection. I mean, I've had my fair share of rejection.

Believe it or not, Anna, I know you can't believe.

Yeah, I'm still gobsmacked. But this is the main one. Remember that it happens to everyone. Yeah, it never feels good to be rejected, but everyone, no matter who they are, has been rejected in their life.

Yeah.

I mean I have you have.

You're never going to be everyone's cup of tea, right exactly, You're never going to be And you've got to accept that because someone might not see you for what you are.

But trust me, there is someone out there that does. And once that door closes with that one person that's rejected you, it's going to open for someone that will appreciate you for who you are.

Yeah, And I mean, look, I've sometimes after being rejected, gotten a bit bogged down in the feeling of not being wanted.

But the moment you.

Put yourself back out there, you honestly forget about it.

You move on, jump back on that dating horse, download those dating apps that's great for your ego, swipe ride a little bit, and just.

Just and just kept talking to other people, and you know, realize that that person who rejected you is not the only fish in the sea. There's plenty more salmon's out there. And I think also something that's really helped me after rejection is positive affirmation.

Okay, Matt. So we joked briefly before about the fact.

That you had been ghosted. Obviously, I know that that would have hurt you. Tell us how that felt.

So it obviously felt like shit. But I think it more bruised my ego than anything, because I remember one of the last messages was inviting them on a date and I just didn't get a reply. Yeah, And I was sort of like, oh, I was like I didn't see this happening, like you know what I mean. I was like, I did not see it going this way. Yeah. So I really hurt my ego and I was like what am I? Like, what did I do wrong? But I didn't get too hung up on it. I mean,

Yeah, soap it for what it was.

Yeah, And I didn't blame myself for anything. I was like, it's probably a you problem, not a meat problem.

Yeah.

And I got back on that dating horse for sale.

Was there a bit of negative self talk after it like I'm not good enough?

Why didn't she want me?

No, and my mates laugh about this actually because every time it comes off, they say the more and more that, the more and more I bring it up, it was more my decision and not hers.

So you've changed the narrative in your own head.

Yeah, in my own head. I remember. My best mate was like, the more and more you tell this story, it was more your decision, not hers.

When you told this story before you actually said that she gave you the ick, And then I was like, hold on a second, didn't she goes to you?

Yeah? You see even there, I've done that. So that's my way of coping with it. So I don't know, I don't really suggest that way of proping with things, but it definitely worked for me.

Okay, guys.

On next week's episode, we are asking the big question, can girls and guys actually just be friends?

Well? I remember that my ex hot who.

Well, let's save it for the next episode. Now we've got a lot of dead on this one.

Alright, Let's see you next time, guys.

Bye,