HOW TO MANIFEST A RELATIONSHIP…

I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

She how do I put this?

Isn't a fan of my kissing style with.

A boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a trash bit. He's non recyclable catching them mu.

I love being love. I love love.

On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we will be discussing how to manifest a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

We are thrilled to welcome Maddie Summers, a confidence and manifestation coach, to the studio to help you guys manifest your perfect partner.

Stay tuned to hear all about how Anna did this to manifest her boyfriend.

Where's Your Head At Is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more. Matthew, Hello, and I just want to kick off by saying happy one year anniversary with you and Michael.

Can you believe it's one year today?

Thank you? I know you know what.

It's so weird.

I reckon, like sometimes I feel like.

I've been with Michael, like for as far as I can remember, and then other times I'm like whoa, Like we've only been together a year?

What geez?

I still remember the first time I met Michael, and I was saying, this guy is the sort of boyfriend that anna as far as like physical and like like emotional as well intellectual.

He had it all, he had all.

Yeah, but how about you tell us a little about your headspace when you met Michael. Where were you at, because obviously you've been single what for like a year?

Yeah? Yeah? Really?

Yeah geez well yeah, Like so I reckon after my breakup. I was just like in a headspace where I was like I need to be single, Like I don't want a boyfriend. I just want to have fun. I want to kind of like refine myself. Obviously, like my last relationship before Michael was a little bit toxic. So I feel like I had developed some like bad habits that I wanted to break, some soul searching for some soul

With her, and she was like, I think you should manifest.

This, Like get a piece of paper and write down what you want, what you're looking for, how you want someone to make you feel. And I was like, you know what, like there's no harm in doing that. And I've always kind of kind of loved the idea of like having a journal or having a diary and kind of like writing down your thoughts at the moment and then reading it in a few years time and being like, oh, like that's where I was at at that.

I want to do a lot more as well, But you're just forget.

Well, you know what, we should like write a message to ourselves in a year about the podcast and be like, this is where we want to be in a year, This is where we're at now. We just hit a million listens like what do we want to achieve? Because you know, I feel like that helps you grow. And I feel like once you put it out there to the universe, which I've been taught a lot by my manifestation coach, it kind of like puts it into motion. So I the other day was looking in my bedroom drawers.

I already am like what the fuck? Let's see what you are? You sure you want to read these out? There might be it might be a bit. Let's see what you said. This is it remind you this is Anna a year ago, this is me.

A year ago. So I wrote two letters to myself.

The first one I said, like it starts with read on the twenty first of the fourth, twenty twenty two, so.

That was a year later.

So I wrote that on my birthday, on my twenty ninth birthday, and I said to myself, open it on my thirtieth birthday.

Okay, okay, did you read it on your sirtieth.

No, I forgot about it.

This is the first time you're reading about it here.

But I found it like a couple of weeks ago, and I was like, oh, well, I mean it was my thirtieth a few months ago, so I mean it's not too far off.

Yeah, it all works.

Okay. So it says this is my manifestation letter to myself.

I love this.

Here we go to me, Happy birthday.

You are so blessed with amazing family, friends and life. Make sure you count your blessings. My birthday wish for the twenty fi first of the fourth twenty twenty two is to have a tall, driven, kind, empathetic, handsome partner who worships me and who will be my future husband. For now, enjoy being single and enjoy everything life has to offer. I hope Byron Bay is amazing love always Anna with a love part that's cute.

Well it happened, I guess, yeah.

So I basically then went to Byron Bay.

It met this other guy, and I feel like that was the first time I was like open to being serious about someone and that didn't work out. But then the next person who am there, which was Michael, it ended up working out.

Wow, So you reckon writing it on that piece of paper made it come true.

Well, it just kind of put like my feelings and thoughts into motion. I guess if I say put it out to the universe. Then my second letter says I wrote this on the first of the sixth, twenty twenty one, and its title future husband, get Ready, here we go. This one says that I'm looking for a man who is charismatic, kind, loves me, is tall, smart, driven, tanned, makes me laugh, and is well endowed.

And well endowed for everyone.

Listening at home means packing under the belt, bottom heavy.

But look, you might think like that's asking for a lot, but it wasn't. And my dream man soon after came into my life. And it's our one year anniversary, and I just want to say to Michael, I love you. You're the best boyfriend ever, and I'm excited for what's to come for us.

And your destiny came because Anna write you down on a piece of paper. So your life changed the day Anna wrote that letter to herself.

Yeah, And so people come to me and they're like, how did you find this guy like Michael? He's so perfect? Do you guys just work together? You know, like you're so compatible? And I literally will say I'm like I manifested him, and I had a manifestation coach who helped me do that. So what I decided to do for those people who have been unlucky in love is to

Let's jump into that.

Okay, guys, I'd like to welcome to the studio Maddie Summers. She is an actress, manifestation and confidence coach, and she is helping women out there everywhere find unstoppable.

Confidence and the men of their dreams.

Welcome to the show, Maddie.

Hey, guys, thanks so much for having me. I'm so excited.

Thanks for coming in. And we'd love to hear a bit about manifesting. Tell us about it.

What is it?

Manifestation is such a big topic actually these days, I feel like, right it's such like.

A hype word.

At the moment, like, oh, I've manifested and I'm manifesting. It's either everyone's doing it or people feel so separated

Give it credit for.

And there are like woo woo elements to manifestation, but at the end of the day, if you really think about it and you break it down into what it is, it's just setting a goal and achieving it and aligning your thoughts, your emotions, and your actions to that goal until you get it done. You know, when people are like, oh, it's it's you know, floating above the clouds, when really it's just so straightforward.

Let's get everyone on board, because I mean Matt and I we are big believers in manifestation.

But I know that some people actually don't know what it is. So for the dummies out there, not dummies, but.

Like people who have never heard of it, can you just give like a super simplistic description of what it is to manifest something.

Manifestation isn't something you do, it's not an act, it's not something that hasn't often on switch. Manifestation is just.

Who you are to the core. It's who you show up as.

And it's who you show up as in the good times and the bad times, not just on your highlight reel. It's who you show up as when a Karen yells at you on the street, or who you show up as when you're stuck in traffic or you're having a fight with your partner. That is what you're manifesting, because it's the thoughts you put out, it's the emotions you put out, and it's the actions you take. So it's getting really clear on your desire, your manifestation, and just

Yeah, we want the fact, you know, just make it easy. Let me know what I got to do to get some sugar in my life. Like that's all I want to know.

I reckon the first time recently that I manifested something was actually me going on Love Islands, Like I fully manifested that. I remember it was like I was I still had a boyfriend, and I remember saying to him and truly believing it. I said to him, I was like, if I ever become single, I'm going to go on that show and I'm going to win it.

And I literally did.

And people are like, oh, come on, like that's just the chance, that's chance, that's luck. But I was like, no, like I truly believed that if I was single, I was like a great candidate for that show. I believed that such a hopeless romantic that if I found someone on there who I thought I was compatible with, that I could like have a chance of winning it.

And I believed it and it happened.

So it does happen, and it's just all about like aligning yourself with I guess what you truly know?

Is that, right, Maddie.

Yeah, I mean at the end of the day, manifestation. This is going to sound cheesy and I don't want it to come across that way, But manifestation is an act of self love because it's trusting yourself. It's having complete faith that you know that you're worthy of and can achieve that goal.

But what would you say to someone that argues the point and rebuttals against manifestation and says, well, I'm a good person, Like I'm pretty cheerful, and like this happened to me that was bad, you know what I mean? I got broken into my house, got robbed.

Yeah, And there are two sort of answers to this as well. I mean a lot of things that happened to you are universal lessons and tests. Sometimes we manifest things that are tragic and traumatic that are not in our control, and these are just those things that happen. If you bring it down to heartbreak, right, and they go, well, I've done all the things I needed to do. I'm a positive person. I put it all out there, but

So I guess, like if I'm like thinking about this in a relationship term, So you're saying that maybe I've got this guy, I'm in love with him, he's my boyfriend, and then we break up.

Maybe we are breaking up.

Because there's something within him that I've attracted from, maybe like trauma when I was younger that I need to kind of get away from.

Is that what you're saying.

Do you mean that this guy's like a toxic, toxic guy. Yeah, totally.

So this toxic guy could come into your life to teach you a lesson. And I think it's great in that intro that you're talking about, you wrote that list and you had all the intention, and then straight after you got a man that did have some toxic qualities, right, And that is such a perfect example of the universe preparing you for that next person, for that perfect person. And a lot of people disregard that. It's what we

Yeah.

And whenever someone's like I've just done all this manifesting and a huge curve balls come my way, I always laugh and I go perfect. That means you are so close to your manifestation because this is one last test from the universe. But a lot of people at that point in the manifestation gap give up and they're like, oh, okay, well I've done all my part and I've still got another toxic person. Manifestation doesn't work, I quit, I'll continue

Well, I want to ask you a question on behalf of some of my friends, because I have a lot of friends who are single. They're trying to manifest these guys and nothing's really happening, Like why aren't they meeting the one? Like what's holding them back? What's stopping the universe from bringing in that perfect guy totally?

And this is so common those women that are like, I've done all I needed to do, I'm ready, and it's not happening right. And it's because there are steps in the manifestation process that have just been glazed over. And there is this step by step process for a reason, and.

It's to get out all of the shit that they need to get out.

And just like I said about limiting beliefs, being clear on what you want, and having space because a lot of the time people can be like, I really want a boyfriend. I really want a boyfriend. And then when I say, okay, well is there room in your life? Do you have room for date nights? Do you have time? Are you vulnerable enough right now? Are you open? Are

They're rushing into stuff.

Yeah, it all comes back to the self, because at the end of the day, you don't attract what you want, you attract who you are, right and so if you're attracting who you are, you want yourself to be pretty freaking good because otherwise you're attracting someone that's got those missing holes as well, that's not in that right head

Oh my god, this is getting juicy. I'm loving there.

If I was single and listening to this, I'd be absolutely laughing out.

Absolutely.

Well, look, Maddie is going to take us through the five steps on how to manifest your boyfriend.

So don't go anywhere.

This is going to get good, Okay, So let's start with step one on how to manifest the perfect partner.

Step one is clarity, so getting really clear on what you want. So this is where the lists come into it. But lists are very controversial. So at the end of the day, we want to say what we want and we want to be clear on that and we want to stand by that, but also we don't want to become so attached to that specific characteristic or trait that we filter out all of these amazing other guys that could be perfect for you.

So you're saying, let one of those go for the good of the rest of them, And.

It's like, do I get ninety percent?

Go on?

Like, what's my success?

Right?

Yeah?

What can you let one of the qualities go just to make up for the rest of them?

Yeah?

Good question.

So at the end of the day, it's not about letting one quality go. It's writing a list. Rather than documenting down physical traits and documenting down you know, they must work in advertising and be six foot two and have this perfect shade of hair and blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Instead list how you want to feel in love? What do you want to feel when you're in love? And not even how is that person going to make me feel? But how do you want

Just thought of someone who I guess like made me feel safe, happy. I think I wrote down like lots of qualities, some being physical and some being like kindness, empathetic, like all of those things and I guess when I was writing those things down, I did feel like I was writing down a person who made me feel calm, who wasn't combative, who we weren't going to be like fighting, like cat and dog, like you know, maybe like other relationships.

Totally, and that's so important to come back to that feeling. And even if you're like if you're listening to this and you're like, well, I don't know what type of person I want it, you know, manifest and I don't know what type of partner I want, that's completely fine. How do you want to feel in love? How does your higher self feel? And just think about that, break it down, make it easy, doesn't You don't have to

He's still going to be tall, He's still going to be over six two, but everything else I'm flexible.

Anytime soon.

She I do remember that I was a high prior.

I could settle for the rest.

But that's six who's a bare minimum? Laughing Michael six s three thinks you very much.

I'm not looking past that floor.

He'll get a note about that.

Sorry, short kings, but chance.

Look the manifestation.

Down there.

How can you be specific without eliminating potentials? Because like when you were saying that, I was thinking about, like, obviously we've all spoken about our types, like Matt's type is like a brunette with like you know, big boom. My type is like tall, tanned, long handed, but like they're quite specific from both of us. But in saying that,

I know a lot of girls are single gens friends that literally if they don't do this and the so I'm not even looking at him twice and then I'm like, oh.

No, wonder, you're not finding anyone.

You're literally sticking to these qualities which are very rare to find in someone as well.

Yeah, totally.

It's Yeah, it's practicing that unattachment. You know, you have to be open and if you're starting dating, I really encourage you to let down that wall. And if you are swiping, which if you are single in this day and age, I one hundred percent think you should be on a dating.

App, absolutely absolutely, But well.

We can get into that more later, but I really encourage you, you know, if you're swiping, have one or so every now and then that you wouldn't usually swipe.

Okay, Maddie, So let's move on to step number two to manifest your boyfriend.

This is clear the blocks. Can you talk us through that?

So clear the blocks is number two.

And this is what I was mentioning earlier about sort of the unglamorous side of manifestation. And a lot of people think that manifestation is just all good vibes and put it out there and it's going to come back, and you know, writing lists and vision boards, but really you have to clear the shit in order to let stuff in. So clear the blocks comes back to limiting beliefs.

So a lot of.

People get these limiting beliefs from family dynamics, from school, from friends, and these deep rooted subconscious beliefs are having such an effect on people's dating lives without them even realizing it. And annaor I know that when we did our coaching together, you had a lot of aha moments in this session, digging up why people tick in certain

Your self sabotage as well.

Totally yeah, self sabotaging all of these toxic traits whenever someone's like, oh, I keep dating the same type of toxic person, or I find it really hard to let people in. The first thing we'll do is go back into your subconscious and realize, all right, what's happened there because there's a deep rooted belief that is driving your actions.

Those beliefs you have about yourself in saying that.

Let's move on to step three, the law of attraction, Maddie.

So this is where it does get a little woo woo. But stay with me because they're still I can see on your face giving me the side.

Let's see, let's hear what you say. I said, I believe in it. But when it goes a bit woo, I'm a bit yeah.

Okay, We'll bear with me because let's see if I can change your opinion because it actually is more scientific, then you do give it credit for. And if you are a non believer, look read Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by doctor Joe Despenser, and he gives you a really like straight scientific definition of manifestation and how it scientifically works. But alignment and law of attraction, law of vibration. So this is like attracts like right, So if you were to put anything in the world under

So I'll give you an example.

You know, if you go into a party and there might be two people standing there and they're talking about similar things, they seem very similar, but one of them you just cannot bear to listen to. You're like, oh gosh, I get a really weird vibe from this person.

Something feels off.

And the other one, even though they're talking about the same things, you find it really easy to click and connect with them. That's because you're on a different vibrational frequency to that person. And this is why energy is so crucial for dating, right, because you're going to tap into people's energy straight away, you know, and if someone's not aligned with you energetically perfect, it means that.

They are not aligned with you.

But you want to make sure that your energy is at a high frequency, because maybe they're not matching with your frequency because yours is quite low and theirs is quite high. So if you're wanting to attract more love into your life, you have to be vibrating at a frequency of love, which means how are you showing up in the most loving way that you possibly can? And I don't just mean this in relationships with your significant other, this is with friends, with family.

How are you.

Showing up with love? Writing that email to a work colleague? How are you showing up with more love the barister who's making your coffee with a Karen that's yelling at you on the street. How are you showing up in the absolute most loving way that you can?

Okay, here's my little tangent that I'm going to go on. What's this say? Is this manifesting? There's this song that Anna and me. No, it's a jingle that we sing. We were taught by someone, this jingle, the checks one.

This is NAT's ex girlfriend. She taught us this jingle? What is it? It's called checks?

In the mail from the audience explaining it to I was driving up to a holiday house with Jenna, her twin sister Nikki, and I was explaining it to him and I said, I said, it doesn't work unless when you sing it, you feel it and you know that it's like working.

So I sang it.

We're sitting there the next day having our morning coffee and I got randomly transferred for a job that idea like months before. So it was a photo shoot and they used my photo on something and I randomly got like a massive check into my bank account, and I was like, you see.

It works.

I feel like, for context, you need to sing the jingle mat I'm.

So eager to hear.

And who knows we might get a manifestation company.

Yeah, okay, so I'm not the best singer, but he goes checks in the mail, checks in the mail.

All I want to see checks in the mail.

And I li like sang that everybody checks.

Yeah, well I sang that while driving up.

The next day, I woke up and a job that like pretty much I did and like had gone to bed, It got resold and I got a massive check in.

My bank account.

One that is manifestation. So whenever I'm submitting an audition or an interview. I will stand in front of a mirror, blast my favorite Shawn Mendez song and absolutely dance like a lunatic, right, so that my energy is moved, because energy gets stuck in your body too. Right, So if you move around and you're moving that energy year round, and you're also in that high vibe, and then I send off that audition that has gone off with good vibes,

And like, yeah, fuck having a boy friend as well.

Like when your vibe is high and you're like doing all these things for you as well, you're having a fucking good time. Like before I got into a relationship with Michael, I was like at my highest frequency.

You know, I was being spontaneous. I was booking like.

Random flights to Byron Bay that I went on for my birthday, and like, you know, I was having a great time.

Which is what you wanted in a relationship, right, which someone that would go traveling with you and someone that would book spontaneous flights. And then by doing all of those things, you attracted someone that liked that.

I sounded Yeah.

If you want to manifest this amazing soul lover, but you're swiping douchebags on Tinder, you are not in alignment.

If you want to.

Introduce this person that's really open and vulnerable and ready for love, but you're still closed off and you don't show vulnerability with your friends, your family, work, in any other respect of your life.

You are not.

Working in alignment. If you want these really high vibe group of friends, but you're still hanging out with this toxic friend, you are not working in alignment. You have to shed the layers of your life, trim the fat, and let things go that are no longer serving that high of good.

Okay, well, let's move on to step four, which is embodiment and action.

If you want your dream job, are you applying for your dream job? If you want a boyfriend, are you going on the dates? And I don't just mean scrolling on Tinder? Are you actually going on the dates? Are you saying what you want? If you want this brand new, amazing car and you're trying to manifest it, have you given it a test drive?

You know?

Do you know what that car feels like for you in your hands and feels like to drive?

All of these things? You actually got to take the action.

You've got to do the thing, and the universe needs you to take that action, so it knows that you can handle that manifestation, all right.

And our final step, which is step five, is have faith and surrender and let go.

Yes, So this is the fifth step, fifth and final, and this is where we leave it up to the universe. Right, So you've done all of your steps, You've gotten clear on what you want, you've cleared the blocks, you've made sure your vibration is raised, you're feeling good, you've taken the action. Now you have to let go of the when and the how, because so many women are like, I need to be married at this stage, and when I manifest him, he's going to come into my life on June seventh.

Two thousand.

You know, let go of the hen, how, and let go of the when, because when you're holding onto those feelings of.

Where is he? Where is he? Where is he?

That's the vibration of I don't like where I am. I'm not a whole person, And that's a vibration of like bringing you down. You're going to retract more things like that.

She's speaking so much truth. I love it, Like I'm so into this everything you're saying. I'm just getting around like it's so true. And I guess like as well, like when you are in that vibration and frequency, you can like start to look a bit desperate, and that's like the.

Vibe we don't want to be putting out there.

Right panic, Yeah, totally, and that's not a good representation of the type of relationship you want anyway, right. You want it to be easy and trustworthy and fun. And when you go into it like is this going to be the person I marry? Is this going to be the father of my children? You know when when that type of energy is only going to push that person if they're perfect for you away because they're not at that vibration. Take the pressure off, guys, Yeah, take the pressure.

Off, and the universe do its thing.

Let the universe.

Preach Matt, Maddie. It's been so great having you in here. We have learned so much. We have a segment of our podcast, hold Where's Our Head At? And we want you to answer this week's question since you're the expert, so we're going to jump.

Into that now.

Welcome to Where's Our Head At? Where you guys ask us where our heads are at, and we answer your questions. This one comes in from Sarah and.

She says, I feel like I always attract toxic relationships. Why can't I meet a decent guy for ones? I've tried manifesting all months and nothing has come up. I'm saying my affirmations and meditating, but still haven't met the right one. What else can I do, Maddie, our confidence coach, our manifestor take it away girl friend perfect.

I love this question for a lot of reasons. When she said, Sarah said, I've been manifesting all month, Sarah, You've been manifesting your whole life. Manifestation isn't something you can just turn off and on. So no, keep that in the back of your mind that you are always manifesting and it's your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions that are manifesting and thinking like, oh, okay, well I've been saying my informations, I've been doing these things. They're

And I guess, as you said before, like take the pressure off, like you can't manifest for a month and expect to have the love of your life not really on your door, Like I guess it's more about like being the best perversion of you, and like it will come when it's the right time.

She needs a little bit of a chill, I feel, yeah.

Well it is.

It's that energy, right, It's like letting go of the when and the how, and just knowing that when your vibration is in check, when you're feeling good, when you've sorted out your beliefs, he's just going to be a magnet to you. So instead of thinking I'm looking for him, I'm looking for him. Look for yourself first, because when you're in check, he's going to come to you organically. You attract who you are, not what you want. So come back to who you are first.

Love that, Maddie.

Where can people find you if they want to seek some confidence coaching from you? Yeah?

So my instagram is Madeleine Summer's Coaching and I'm offering a twelve week program at the moment called the Energetic Abundance Academy. And this is private, one on one coaching. Anna did this course.

I loved it.

And this is where we go all in.

This is for the women that are just sick of being stuck in patterns, sick of the blocks, don't know why their manifestations aren't coming, or want that extra confidence and love in their life.

So we go all in.

We get clear on what you want, We go through the blocks and shift that energy and rewrite your story.

Okay, Maddie, thanks so much for coming. It's been such a pleasure. Thank you for sharing your five step process with us. We really appreciate it. As you guys know, we have our live show coming up, so make sure you get tickets. It's selling out fast.

Yeah, make sure you get your tickets. We're going to have a very intimate show. You could be a part of the show, so you could be one of our guests, So make sure you.

Get your tickets and remember to give our podcast a five star review. We are a growing podcast, but those reviews really go a long way to get our podcasts out from our.

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Make sure to tell your friends about us and until next time, Bye bye.