HOLY SH*T HE MOVED IN...

I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing style with.

The boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours.

He's in a trash bin.

He's non recyclable. Catching member.

I love being love, I love love. On today's episode, we are talking about when and if you should move in with your partner and.

When we took the plunge in our current and previous relationships.

Stay tuned.

Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more.

Matt, welcome back to season three.

It's very exciting, good to be back here. We get straight into it. We had an amazing season two, so let's have an even better season three.

Yeah. We just hit half a million listens and we are so proud, so shocked, so grateful for every single person listening, and we are gonna make season three an absolute killer. I mean, I'm sure, thank you to everyone who has given us a five star rating. As you know, we're a small podcast, but we are growing every single day, and we appreciate all of you.

Let's jump in, all right.

So I was having my morning coffee this morning. Yeah, like always, soy latte. I was scrolling through the Daily Mail. I love doing that, see what the gossips, see what's going on. And I come across an article that reads oh no, that reads Love Island star suffers a major wardrobe malfunction at Melbourne Fashion Festival, Wait as her boobs pop out in quotations of her dress in the front row.

Well, look as you know, because you were there.

I was definitely there. I saw it.

That happened me, and that went to fashion week. It was a big week of fashion week.

This week, and my dress was not.

Structured well enough to hold the girls and front row. My boobs did pop out. It was super embarrassing. I honestly couldn't believe it.

I mean, the whole show, and is saying to me, oh, I think it's gonna pop, It's gonna pop. I'm like, no, no, it's fine, No stress, Like, the girls look like they're in there. Okay, you're fine, You're fine. She said it's gonna it's gonna pop. It's gonna pop. Pretty sure when we were walking as well. You said, imagine for my top bursts, and I was like, oh, yeah, no.

My stylist Daniel said that.

Somebody said he said it.

He jinks to me.

So then she's like it's gonna happen. I'm like, no, no, it's fine. I'm enjoying the fashion parade. I'm enjoying it, loving it. And then I hear oh fuck. I'm like what And then I look across and it looks like she's seen a ghost. The guy across from me looks like I seen and a maca voice hits the holies. It's all going down. People are still walking, We're trying to find people are offering us bobby pins. You're trying to look for a pin and make Jamie grabs a strap.

The thing is is like at the start, only me and Natt knew what was going on because I was like, oh fuck, and then Matt was like, oh my god.

And Matt's reaction was so big.

Like oh that then everyone around us slowly started realizing what had happened, and I feel like it was like Chinese whispers, and people were asking for pins and how to help out the situation.

Everyone was trying to help and lend to hang.

Girls that'd have to love a bobby pin across the catwalk. Probably not, but.

Look, I only think like maybe five people saw.

So you fully flashed the front row across from us my.

Left boom flash. Yeah.

Anyway, fashion Week was amazing. We both brought Jen, Matt's girlfriend, and Michael, my boyfriend. They came to fashion Week for the first time. How did Jen find it?

Jen loved it. She loves fashion. She obviously works in the industry at the head office for a fashion brand, so she was loving it. She loved getting dressed up for it. I do laugh because when we got there, obviously with media walls and like they have to do all their content, Jen was a bit taken back by that. She's not used to that sort of like that sort of attention. I guess, so that's sort of like in your face, so it's full on, full on, like the

She did.

Yeah, so it was a good time. She really enjoyed the night we saw the GQ one, so that was yeah, that was really cool. Every time like a like an attractive guy walked past, I was, well, you know this was me I used to be on that cat or she.

Might be a bit attracted. Yeah, say yeah.

No, I definitely know she enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. How did Michael go?

Yeah, I think he kind I felt the same way, like he loved it. But it was again, very overwhelming when there's lots and lots of cameras.

Like the thing for me and you was we were already models before all of this.

We used to lots of photos being taken and I think it's a very unique world to bring someone into. And yeah, I think he was overwhelmed it. As you said, like Jen did amazing, Michael did amazing.

I was so proud to have him by my side. So it was great.

He was a good handbag for you.

He's not a hand bag. Does that mean?

I don't know, he's a Chanel handbag. Let's put it that way.

He's a boy bag, boy bag, Chanel boy bag.

On the topic of Michael, I hear that you and Michael have moved in.

We're going to talk about that, Nat, let's.

Get into it. So Anna, you posted on your Instagram recently that you've decided to move in with Michael. Yeah, why did you think that now it was the perfect time to move in?

It's hard because I feel like me and Michael are just so compatible. So literally, from like date one, we were spending such an enormous amount of time together, and then I think, like even two months into seeing him, we were spending four to five days a week, and then he started sleeping over like six nights a week, and so kind of got to the point where it was like, well, he's basically living at my house.

Stop squatting and pay.

Rent, exactly what I was thinking. Yeah, So, I mean we had kind of spoken about it. He was actually the first one to bring it up. He just said, like, would you like to live together? Because obviously, when you're spending six days a week together, you kind of know if it's working, if it's not, if it's.

Gonna last, or if there's some red flags there.

And I think because we meshed so well together and because we lived so well together and things just.

Worked, it kind of made sense.

So I think it was four months into the relationship, which some people would say is.

Kind of soon. What do you think do you think that's too soon?

No? I think that's fine. I didn't realize it was four months. I thought you'd recently moved in.

Okay, So I posted on Instagram recently that he moved in, But he.

Actually moved in after four months?

Okay, cool, I told Instagram after it was six months. So he'd already been living with me for two months at that point.

Just you know, so you're not dropping that you've moved in and then a couple of months later moving out. Backtrack, Okay, that's what I was. I didn't even know he'd moved in four months ago. I guess maybe I did. Yeah.

I don't know if I told you, because actually I think I remember you being like congrats, and I was like, oh, really, we've already been living yeah.

Yeah. So if you've spent then four months pretty much living together, you did have a clear understanding of what it would be like to live together. Was there any thing that you were a bit iffy on? Or he has any quirks that he has to live with? He would have some say some stuff about your living style.

But he's not here, so go ahead and row under the bus.

Look, me and Michael are very similar, so I think any sort of like maybe issues that I might have with him, he probably has them with me. Like we're not super proactive at cleaning the house, and I guess now that there's double the amount of belongings and clothing and stuff. Recently, we had like a small argument because we were like, the house is too messy, and he's like, I agree, the house is too messy.

And I was like, so we should clean it, and he's like, I know.

So neither of you are neat freak.

No, Like we're both not OCD in the cleaning department.

But I also like have a cleaner who comes in once a month to just give the house like a deep clean to get rid of the dust.

And though don't get wrong, yeah, of course messy.

I would prefer instead of hanging things up in the wrong spot, I'd prefer to leave them in a bundle or like in a mountain or pile or whatever you want.

To call it.

But yeah, I'd prefer to leave it until I have time to properly organize things. And like, you know, my wardrobe is color coordinated. I'm not messy, but like at the same time, like we all have those things.

Now that he's moved in, has it changed anything about the dynamics of the house, Like obviously before it's your house, he's coming to your house. Yeah, has anything changed now is he? Like? No?

I think we just genuinely love spending time together. It makes sense. It's kind of nice knowing that I get to go to sleep with him every night. Like, it's so funny because when I first moved in to my apartment by myself, I never ever thought I would live alone. And I got so used to that lifestyle and living alone and I actually loved it. I never thought I would love it, But I just genuinely loved having my own space, being in my own company, and I really

Like, there's so much fun in our apartment. We have so much fun.

We're constantly laughing and singing, and yeah, I'm so happy.

What do you love most then about living together?

I think I just love the companionship and the fact that we have such similar interests, so you know, we're both quite active people, so we're constantly going for walks, we're going to the gym or do you.

Have any regrets sofar.

No, I'm like beyond happy. I think it was a right move for sure. You know, we've talked about the fact that we'll probably live there for a year and then we might buy a house together, so I mean, yeah, we're looking into the future. There's no red flags.

When he first moved in. Did you lay down the law the rules of the house apparent to Michael.

No, I don't think I need it to like, I think it was just normal. It's not like he had just been coming over every so often, Like essentially, he was already basically living with me. So he takes out the bins, he cleans the work surfaces, the things that I don't like to do, and I love to cook. So you know, it works really well, it's really harmonious.

So you split the chores fifty to fifty. Do you split the bills fifty to fifty?

Yeah, everything's fifty to fifty.

Nice. It sounds like you guys have a really good setup there.

You got it all.

It's exciting to see. All right, So I'm so happy for you and Michael. It looks like you guys are enjoying each other's company and living together. It's really hard when to decide to move in with your partner. So let's dive into that now.

Okay, Matt, let's talk about when the right time to move in with your partner is. This is highly debated. I know that a lot of people will be sitting at home thinking Anna moved in with her boyfriend way too soon.

When is the right time to move in?

All right? So I think it really depends on the couple at some points, Like it could be too earlier, It couldn't be in your situation or my situation. Like who wants he paying two rents exactly?

That is such a good point.

I mean, like I stay at Gen's literally pretty much every night, to the point where I didn't go home for two months. I didn't stay in my bed for two months, and I paid rent for literally just to store my clothes and have a shower every now and then at my house.

Yeah, how annoying is that?

I know I was paying the bills, and I was just like, fuck, I haven't even contributed to.

These yeah, someone else could be saying that bed.

Yeah, I know exactly. So people recommend a year, but that's a long time at this age to be going back and forth.

Yeah, And I think that's so true, Like it's age dependent. I think if you're in your early twenties and you have a partner and things are going really well and you both really want to you also have to remember that personal growth is still going on, like you're still coming in to yourself, you're still becoming the best version of you. There's still a lot of independent growth that

Know right exactly. I mean, I feel sorry for a girl if she moved in with me at twenty two. I had no idea what fucking spraying ripe was at that point, I would mean an asleep pig.

But it's true like sometimes maybe like you needed to live with the boys so you could see how much of a big side the house can get, and.

Then you're like, actually, I don't want to live in a shit had.

I don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to live with dirty plates.

And then when you have a girlfriend that you move in with, you're like you are a.

Saft Wait, hang on, you can have a plate that doesn't have last night's dinner. Wait what you're like?

What a blessed life?

I lead?

All right, Well, the signs that you're ready to move in with your partner, I think are that you can agree on a house and a budget. Yeah, Like, there's no point going to like and you guys can't agree on what suburb even or what like budget of where you want to be.

You have to be on the same page, right, yeah.

Exactly, or else from the start you're not even like you should not worth moving in together because one person is going to be angry. Yeah.

I think also, like you have to really talk about finances before you move in, Like, are we going to be splitting this fifty to fifty? Is someone going to be paying a bit more? Is someone going to be paying more for bills or whatever it might be. I guess every couple has their own kind of grooven way of doing things and that definitely needs to be discussed before taking that leap.

I reckon they should have a trial run with each other, if it beans staying at one's person's house a little bit longer, for a couple more nights to adapt to. Like we said before, the red flags like if they're messy, if they're on hygienias, if they just they don't want to do the same things at night as you do. You know that can even be a rift in living with someone.

Yeah, I mean, speaking of trial run, I reckon the best trial run to know for sure if you want to live with your.

Partner is going on a holiday.

When you're on a holiday, like there is no getting rid of them, like you are together twenty four to seven.

You do see the best and worst of your partners on a holiday.

That Yeah, I think a holiday for sure.

Like I definitely would never ever ever move in with someone unless I'd been on a holiday for at least a week.

Here's a wild one. Actually, what happens when your sort of person in an argument wants to get away from their partner, like doesn't want to be around, so they have their own house to go back to and like reflect and then come good again. Imagine if that's your style and you're living with someone, There's nowhere to hide. There's nowhere to go, so you'd have to get used to that as well.

Yeah, I mean that's the thing is, unless your communication is hitting a ten out of ten, there's just no reason to be moving in with someone. And I think, yeah, just learning your partners communication style is always superma.

That means like setting boundaries and expectations in that relationship and then hopefully they're meant when you live together.

Yeah for sure.

Also, this is this sounds a bit grim, but I think, God, I think I think you should have an exit strategy out of the house, so there's no out of the house. Not out of the house in a rush. But I mean, if things do turn belly up, you know where you're going to go next. You have somewhere to fall back on, or someone takes over the lease, one of them goes

No one actually does that.

And I've heard it before. I'd stories yeah for your friends. Yeah, I'm not going to name anything, but I've definitely heard it before and it's it makes for a trials. Yeah.

Oh yeah.

Like the thing is is, like I personally and I know that some people aren't as lucky to have this option. But if I was, you know, breaking up with a boyfriend, I just head straight back to my parents' house. Like I wouldn't even look like living with someone who I was broken up with.

No, I think that'd be the most awkward, uncomfortable thing ever. I mean, you know me, I like to hang out friends with them afterwards, but I don't think I could actually live with them. That would be a bit much. Yeah.

That actually is giving me a lot of anxiety.

All right, So I've taken all these tips on board. Yeah, and I have something to actually share with you next.

Oh wow.

All right, Well I don't know if this is a coincidence or what, but Jen actually is moving into.

Mine, into your house with your flatmate.

Yeah this weekend start.

Yeah, so you guys are hold on, hold on.

So yeah, So at the moment, I have me three mates and one of their girlfriends.

And just to preface this, like this is a party household like Natt and his friends love to have a great time.

Love fun.

I've had a lot of great times there, Like, don't get me wrong, we love fun.

Jen, your girlfriend is moving in there.

Yeah, so look, I think she's not really overly excited.

About Okay, good, the truth is coming out.

I like it.

Just that her lease ends in a couple of I think next week, So we don't want to move into another house, but we want to move in together. So I have two months left of my lease. So I said, well, whyren't you just moving here for two months while we look for something. There's no rush that way, we can just ease in.

And then you guys are going to start looking for your own play just you and her.

Yeah, just two of us.

Yeah, I'm so excited, just two of us.

Yeah, so you.

I'm so happy for you guys.

It's exciting. And look, after all those tips, I think, yeah, it's the right thing to do. Move in with Jen. She's very clean, very hygienic.

Like just kicking all the boxes, the.

Perfect person to move into.

I mean, look, I'm going to be really honest.

I think this is going to be a huge relationship test.

Her moving in with all the boys.

Look, well, she works from home a lot as well. So right, she doesn't even have an office to set up. She's gonna have to like have her laptop at the end of my desk like my bed sort of thing. It's going to be very testing for Yeah, we'll see what happens.

I mean, you guys are so in love.

I don't doubt that you guys will make it through, but it will be.

It's going to be. Like one of my concerns straight off the bat is she's not too crash hot on the level of.

Cleaning cleanliness of the house.

Yeah, that the boys and I do. For instance, one of them is our shared bathroom between me and my two mates.

Yeah.

So she asked me the other day, She's like, what's going on here? And I'm like, just hang it off? And she's like, Matt, hang what off? That tower cannot be hung off? And I literally peel it off the ground. It looks like this whole water starts gushing from it, ring it out in the shower and all this brown water.

Go.

Yeah, it's safe to say that, Like, I think that there's gonna have to be some some.

There's gonna have to be some big adjust it's a full boy's house.

What can I say, it is.

A full always house and like, you guys have to really step up your game in the name of Jen.

You can't live like that.

I've been sending some subtle text messages in the group convo saying, hey, boys, like I reckon, we could do this. You reckon, you ask or do this? You know, just ease into it before she moves in. Yeah, I reckon. They know what's going on as well.

Yeah, yeah, they'll be on their best behavior hopefully, and then you guys, hopefully will get through that time with flying colors. It'd be really great memories with lots of fun stories to tell.

Yes, a lot.

We'll recap it and then no more living with the boys, Matt, this is a big deal.

Yeah. So it's been a fun year with the boys. I mean they got me through Lockdown with them. It was good fun every weekend. But Jen and I are looking at getting a two bedroom because we want to spare room for our sisters to stay in oh C as well as one wardrope won't fit both our clothes, so we need a second wardrope for all our clothes.

Yeah.

Yeah, lucky enough, Jen fully has furniture to deck out house, so that's good.

Awesome.

All I have to bring really is myself and a mattress for the spare room. Yeah, she's got everything that we need. We're looking in Oltwood, so hopefully we find somewhere nice in two months to move into nice.

Are you guys looking to rent or by.

We're definitely looking to rent at the moment. Yeah, and then hopefully we can break the lease in six months and buy. If everything's on plan.

That's very exciting. I'm very happy for you.

Hopefully. Saying it out loud on this platform is a bit like, Wow, that's serious. It's real serious. Now you know the talks are over.

Okay, so Jen has all the green flags to move in with you guys are heading down that road. I'm very excited for you. Let's talk next about the red flags and.

When not to move in with someone.

There's actually a lot of times that it's a bad idea. Like I feel like, unless you're one hundred percent yes.

It should be a no.

If there's any bit of out in your brain, then it's a note, then it's a no. I reckon because that doubt can grow really quickly once you start to live with them and you see pet peeves or stuff that give you that can grow really quick.

Yeah, and once something annoys you, and if you can't get over it, it just builds up and builds up and it becomes this huge problem.

Then you don't want.

That, all right, So I know for me, which at hindsight, I should have listened to him. My friends and family said, when I moved in with my ex, it was a bad.

Idea, right, and you just didn't listen.

I just didn't listen. Well, we were going into lockdown, and my mum sort of said, like, it's against the law to be going back and forth. You've got to pick one or the other. And I was like, well, look mom, at the end of the day, I'm not getting sex here. I'm gonna live. I'm going to live there, you know what I mean. So I packed my girlfriend. Reason girl friend so packed a bag. I moved in with my ex.

Ad time.

Yeah, one of the worst ideas ever. I looked. I have a funny story. She said, Okay, there was a room. She goes, this room can be yours because she was actually moving into that apartment as well at the same time, so it just linked up perfectly. She said, Okay, you can have this room. This room can be yours. You can make it feel like your own.

So it was a two bedroom apartment, bedroom apartment.

Yeah. So I was like, oh okay, So I just got this painting like completely me. It was like a wrestler. I was like, awesome, Like I love this painting, one of my favorite wrestlers. I put it up. I went out to do the grocery shop. I can't remember what I did. I came through the car park, drove past our storage compartment, and there it was. It was sitting there and I was just like interesting. When I asked, she's flat out, I said, doesn't match the aesthetics of

Oh no, I remember this story.

It's all come back to me. So we had a massive one of our massive arguments, and I went and sat in that room and I was like, I was like this just I can't like, this doesn't feel like I don't feel well here, Like I couldn't leave because there was a curfew. I was like, I can't leave, Like I don't feel like anything's mine here. I feel really out of place. I literally opened the cupboard and I sat in that cupboard and cried, Oh.

Man, that actually makes me really sad.

Yeah. So I had a real, like really grim time in that apartment. Now I should have listened to my friends and family and realized that it was not the right person to move in with. Yeah.

I mean, sometimes your friends and family see things that you're not willing to see yet that even if they were to say it to you, you're just like, no, no, no, no, rose colored glasses only I can't see what you're saying.

Yeah, I can, Like, it's just to me, it seemed like a good idea, Like I'd never moved in with a partner. She was older, she was convincing, she was like, come my, having like a nice time work together during like this lockdown period.

Yeah. Yeah, and there was some good times. Yeah, but obviously like that was the worst time.

That was rock bottom. That was the worst.

Okay.

Another red flag I would say is when it's one sided. So when one person is pushing to move in and the other person's a bit like iffy.

For instance, if I was.

Like, hey, like let's move in together, and someone was unsure, I'd be like, I don't think this is a good idea.

Yeah, I mean, so I said I wanted to move in as well with someone and they were unsure, I'd be well, fuck, let's not move in. Then I don't want to move in with someone that's not a hundred committed to it.

Yeah, exactly right.

I think if both parties aren't fully in, it's a bad idea.

I agree, I agree a hundred percent. Another massive point is and I wish i'd I wish I'd learned this before I moved into my current living situation is if people's level of cleanliness is different.

Yeah, so true.

I mean there's different levels of cleanliness. I mean I usually get in trouble by my ex Kira for leaving, and I know you used to get in trouble as well when you stayed over.

Is this the line glass?

Yeah? If not leaving a bit of water in the bottom of even my monks, my tea munks, I would have to at night if we weren't putting them in the dishwasher yet to leave it a little bit of water in there.

So it didn't stay in the.

If I didn't do that, it was like the end of the world. I was like, these are from my key of these mugs.

Yeah, and look, it's a good point if you're not on the same level, Like you have one person who's OCD about cleaning and one person who's super chill, you guys are going to get on each other's nerves.

If you're the more clean one, I think maybe you need to realize that your partner isn't and maybe give them a bit of leeway and a bit of like compromise, be like, Okay, well I'm going to have to pick up that level of cleaning because that's not in their nature. Maybe discuss it and you see where it goes.

But then does that build resentment?

Like if I'm the person who's OCD and I'm here cleaning the whole house and picking up the slag, am I going to be like fuck this guy?

Yeah? Maybe? And then I think that just comes down to communication. Yeah, say like, look, can you lift your weight? I've mopped and back him for the last four weeks. Yeah, you haven't even done this.

And that brings us to our next red flag, which is compromise. If you can't compromise with your partner, do not move in.

Look, compromise in a relationship is a fundamental to a healthy relationship. So if you can't compromise about the living situation, I don't think you're going to compromise about anything.

Yeah, because like when you live with someone, it's not just living with them. There's like bills, and there's a million other things and schedule working out and the whole shebang. So if you can't do that, it's a no deal from us. Okay, Matt, that's all we have time for. I hope the guys are going to be on their best behavior when Jen moves in.

Good luck for that one.

I mean, if they're not, Jen is definitely going to pull them back into line. We all know that, and I think the boys know it as well. We'll see what happens there. Look, I hope everyone listens to these tips and they don't move in too quickly, because we've given you some really good points there.

Or on the opposite end of the spectrum, if things are going really well, you're both on the same page, pull the band aid.

Off and just sue it.

Yes, okay, guys, until next time, Bye bye,