Welcome back to the Where's Your Head At? Hotline, our weekly show where we catch up with each other and connect with you all on our hotline voicemail.
We want to hear from you, guys, so please send your stories, questions, advice or tea to Where's Your Head at pod at gmail dot com to be featured on one of our episodes.
I'm Anna and I'm Matt. Let's jump in Hello Matthew, Hello Anna?
What's going on?
Do you know what I reckon? This weekend that's just been? Is the first weekend where we didn't call each other once?
Ah?
I know, were you busy? I was very busy. Is that time a year though? There's heaps of events on, heaps of shit going on, So yeah, yeah, I just didn't find a spare moment to be honest.
Well, tell me how your weekends, because I feel like I'm like in the dark. I haven't heard.
Okay, So went to my mate's wedding. So he had a beautiful wedding up in King Lake. Do you know where that is? Past like Hillsville up in the mountains.
I don't know where it is, but I did see that you posted there and it looked stunny.
Yeah. So it was at like a school camp, believe it or not. So it was like the Flying Fox and all that. But where they had the ceremony was in this nice little nook out in like the forest. It was beautiful. Yeah, they had like a it all set up and as you walked through like the bush or forest, whatever you want to call it, they had like pictures of them along the way. It was really cute.
Yeah, that's beautiful.
But where we slept, we were in a cabin, so like a school camp sort of cabin set up, so have like one and we had like bunk beds. Lucky enough, I didn't get a bunk bed because I'm like six ft six. Yeah, one of my mates tried to say that I was in a bunk and I was like, there's no way, mate. But it was like I was looking around at the reception afterwards, and I was like looking at my mate because I've been I went to prep with Jack, so I've now seen him get married.
And there was a couple of other people from primary school there and I was just looking at him, and I was looking at a couple of the other boys. I was just thinking like, how like we're at that age now where like everyone's lives are slowly either going one way another way, and just every different way. You know, some people engaged, some people have kids, some people getting married. Some of the boys aren't even interested in that sort of stuff. They're just doing themselves.
Yeah.
Like one of my mates, one of my best mates, just quit his job that he's been up for like ten years, and he's, you know, just starting again. Like it's just wild to think about that age where everything's just you know what I mean.
It must have been a real pinch me moment seeing someone you went to prep with get married, Like that's crazy.
Yeah.
Well, I was looking at him and I was actually picturing him because there's photo of us in prep, and I was actually looking at the photo and I was like, God, we look a lot different, but at the same time, not much has changed, you know what I mean. Yeah, Yeah, that was cool. I love Jelly as well, his wife that he got married too. She's a great girl, so I'm really happy for them.
She was a great gal.
I was a great girl, So I wish many happy years for them to come.
I mean, that's all you want for your friends, right, Like when I think about like my core friendship group. All I want for them is to just meet someone who is a great person who's going to be really an amazing partner and really good to them. So like that's all you could ask for any of your friends.
They just click perfectly, like because where they had the wedding, like they said in their speech, was just so them. They love going hiking, they love traveling. So like I remember another one of my mates, I told him I had to I was going to Jack's wedding and he goes, he goes, oh, good luck that you're going to make you hike, And then we were walking up to the reception. I was like, fuck Ben, like we're kids.
Yet Yeah, he was like, lovely hike to start the day.
Not in my loafers. My feet are cut off the fresh loafers.
It is weird, though, Like I feel like I can definitely relate to what you're saying with like everyone going in very different directions. And I feel like as we get older, a lot of the time, like your friends are either school friends or friends you go to UNI with, or work friends. And I feel like proximity, like where you live is such a big thing for maintaining friendships.
I was. I was thinking that in a way as well. I was thinking, how I know a lot of the boys and there was no like real I went to school and that was it, you know, I mean, like I didn't go to school with anything. The only one I did go to school with I hated in school and make friends with them outside. You know what I mean, you went to like primary school with them then you know from footy or you know, I'm through this, you know what I mean? And yeah, I was thinking where
you grew up like determined your friendship group. Yeah, I like, look where you all live in different places, have different lives, but you're still friends.
Yeah. And the thing is is, like, you know, I've had a friend who's recently moved to Mornington. I have
friends who are in Somemmerville. Laura, my friend, she's back with her parents because she just traveled the US for six weeks, so she's a little bit further out, and it's just so hard, like it's hard to make time to see people when you're so far away because we all have like very busy live schedules and it is crazy, like you don't realize how much of an impact that has especially as you get older and like you start to kind of do your own thing and you have
your own passions, and you know you really have to put in the effort for friendships to really last.
Well, when I pulled up today at the podcast, I literally just messaged my mates and I said, yeah, I loved being with you boys. I love you boys. Sort of like think because I was realizing as I was driving in that like being with your boys and hanging out with them, you take it for granted.
You take it for granted. I had my best friends. Every year, we have like an annual Christmas party, So we had that from this Yeah, we had that yesterday. And it's funny because we were all texting last night being like, oh my god, like we need to make more of an effort to catch up. So I think maybe we're both in our feelings about how much we love our friends right now.
Oh yeah, I know, like we look at us.
But it's interesting because season yeah, I have recently felt like my memory is like not as sharp, And I don't know if it's because I'm like constantly like editing things on my phone and constantly I don't know, like I just so anyway, I was in bed this morning with Michael, and I was like, I really want to like make my memory sharper, like I want to be quicker. Like I feel like I used to be so good.
This sounds ridiculous, but I used to be so good at my times tables, and I always like tell Michael to like ask through my times tables like on quick Fire, and a couple of the times I've got the answer wrong. And I just don't get my timestables wrong because I'm a bit I'm a bit stressed. I'm like, fuck, i've hit thirty. My memory is going.
What's six times six thirty six? Yeah?
Good?
You should put one of the the back of your.
Toilet a toilet. I actually wanted like that's so late, but I actually want to because I want to get sharpa again. But anyway, Michael was like, Okay, it's all good, babe, don't stress out like you've just hit thirty. He's like, I hit thirty, I felt like my memory wasn't as sharp. No one talks about this. No one's told me about this, But apparently socializing with your friends and going to like new places helps with memory.
I tell some other tips as well. I took these pills for memory because I used to struggle with memory for wrestling, Like you have to remember the whole choreograph of a match. Yeah, halfway through the match, I just go blank, yeah, And I was like, I can't be
doing that. So I was taking these vitamins that help with memory, like fish oil and all this sort of stuff, as well as like download a memory game app on your phone, so instead of going on Instagram, play that, or if you don't want to be on your phone, get like cards and do it with just cards.
But it's so hard. The more time you spend on your phone, it's like really bad for your memory because like your memory kind of clumps that phone time all into one, so days can like kind of blur into one.
So I so my recommendation this week is to spend less time on your phone and to really make an effort to put your phone down, because for me, I feel like that's why my memory is getting really bad, and I'm really like really making an effort to really try and sharpen it up and be like way more accurate.
Well with like an job. We haven't even spoken about this, but I literally last night put my TikTok and Instagram into a file and labeled it time wasters, So like, so I'm not on there as much, literally, Like, that's so funny that we're saying this.
Yeah, And it's funny because we had no idea where this conversation is going this morning. But I feel like we're both feeling.
On the same ship. We're on the same page. We generally. I just walked in late as well, and here we are chatting like we are the same stuff. So we're on the same page.
We're definitely on the same page. Other than the wedding. How it was the rest of your weekend?
Yeah, I've come off the weekend on a bit of a low. I can't put my finger on what exactly does it? I mean, big weekend with the boys of a bunch of serotonin released, you know, just with all the boys having fun, and then you come back to Monday and you're like, ah.
He's he's like, fuck, I have to see Anna space.
I don't know, I enjoy this, but yeah, you don't come off for a weekend. You're driving in traffic, You're like, yeah, it is. The weather's a big gloomy now after the hot, sunny weekend.
I know of what's happening with that. I'm just getting I'm getting whiplashed a little bit. I'm like, let's just stick to summer.
About your weekend, though, how do you how are you feeling?
Yeah, Like obviously I had like my fun with the girls, had a bit of a stressful week because I thought my memory was going. But yeah, I think Michael and I on Friday night we went to the location where we want to have our engagement party. Super beautiful, really beautiful venue. So I'm thinking we're going to lock that in, which ising thinking of having it in April, just because it's so hard to like get a time when everyone's available.
My brother works in Queensland, so he only has like one weekend off a month, so it's just really hard trying to navigate that. So I think it's going to be April. I think we have the venue locked in. But like, to be honest, like with trying to find a venue for the engagement party, trying to find a wedding venue the podcast, I have like a little, you know, side thing that I'm doing with Michael at the moment. Just all of that and the fact that it's Christmas and like everything's full on.
I've just seen.
Matt's had a little.
Peak your access to your time tree.
Yeah, I've just felt super overwhelmed, and I think it's kind of had a spill on effect to Michael and I's relationships. So on Saturday we were fighting all day. Oh and also our rent's gone up by five hundred and sixty dollars a month starting in feb which is crazy, that's like twenty five percent up. So that, yeah, that stress on us as well. So we're like, do we stay in this place? Can we afford to stay here? Should we move? When are we going to buy a house?
Like all of kind of like just like the normal stresses of life have just gone on top of us. And I think on Saturday we just had like probably one of our worst fights, if I'm being honest, Like we just we're not seeing eye to eye. We're both feeling a certain way, and like you know, when you just like you're overwhelmed and stress and you don't want
to see the other person's point of view. I feel like we were both in that mood, and normally, if only one of us is in that mood, it's totally resolvable. But we were both like standing firm. We were like nah, and we just like were arguing and it was really sad. And then by someday we had kind of Oh, by Saturday night, I would say, we kind of made up, but we were just like, we don't want to fight
like this. This is ridiculous. We're so in love, Like, we have an amazing relationship, we love our lives together. We shouldn't be arguing about this. But there was a little bit of yelling, which is really surprising for us because we don't really yell. And it's a bit triggering from like my last relationship as well, because it's like in my last relationship, I was constantly yelling and obviously
you can't compare relationships because we've never done that. I was like, oh, no, it's going to that place.
I hate when you start to see stuff from your ex relationship coming to like a new one, and you're like, fuck, hopefully it doesn't go down the same route.
Yeah, Like you're like, I have to avoid going down the same route. We're not doing this again. But yeah, Like obviously I felt like I wanted to bring this up because I did a Q and A on my Instagram and someone was like, how do you remain so happy? You're constantly happy? And like, I think I was arguing with Michael at that point, and I was like, fuck, it's not fair for people to think that I'm like like living my best life, and like I am, like, I'm I love my life. I'm so grateful and I
practice gratitude constantly. We both say that, like we constantly say it out loud, like what we're grateful for, what we're happy about?
A grateful diary. Yeah, things, Yeah, that I'm grateful for.
Yeah, but I was just like, you know, it's not been all sunshine and rainbows this weekend, so yeah, I wanted to share.
O, thanks you for that. That will bring me to my recommendation, which might help you. Then go for it.
I'm ready.
Mine is cold showers. So I accidentally stumbled.
Onto this water had run out.
The no, no, nothing as grim as that in England. At my uncle's house, fare il staying for a majority of the time. It's an old school house in London and you have to flick the hot water on. Oh yeah yeah, half an hour the boiler. I'm not going to do that. I get out of bed.
I'm not going I'm not thinking that far ahead.
Three three flights of stairs down to the bottom to flick it on. I'm not doing that. I'm like, you know what, fuck it, I'll just jump into the on sweite and have my shower. So it was cold, and I was like having it, and I was like, oh yeah, I had And also where we get all our information from. TikTok had told me that having a cold shower first thing in the morning is good for you.
It is very good for you.
Yeah, so I recommend having cold showers. There's a lot of benefits. It helps your body release serotonin, gets sort of anxiety. It speeds up your tabism, so it's splash metabolism as soon as you wake up.
Love that.
So yeah, I recommend having a cold shower to wake up. And don't do what I didn't, just jump straight into it. I reckon well pun intended, probably jumps the best way to do it. But like, start at the end of your hot shower, turning it to colda like thirty seconds however long you can tolerate, turn it off. Then just go from there. And now I just jump straight into
a cold shower. It's a lot easier on the weekend with the hot weather, but like when it's it was in London especially, it was quite hard doing it.
So your full shower is a cold shower, yeah.
Majority of it, but it's not a long one. So my first shower in the morning, you're.
Going in for thirty seconds quick watching.
Like minute fifteen. Then I'll go fight my exercise and then I'll come back and have a normal shower. Yeah, got it, just to wake me up first in the morning.
Look, I'm feeling, like you know, I'm anxious, some stress. You're feeling the same way. You're a bit down in the dumps. I feel like this could really maybe help us turn over a page. And sometimes I do that just it's like if I'm feeling stressed, I put cold water on my face. I know it's not like a cold, full old ordeal, but I mean, yes, even just starting small mag it gradual, as you said, and I love that. I love that suggestion from you. Matt.
Let me know guys how it goes on our Facebook group and where's your head out. I would love to hear your stories and see how long you guys can not if someone goes Yeah, I've been doing that for years. I can go for ten minutes in a cold shower. It's time up, like, stop showing off you here? All right? Should we get into the hot line, Let's do it.
Hello, you've reached Anna and Matt.
We can't get to the phone right now.
But please leave us a message on our hot line after the beep. This week we have asked you for your stalky stories. Thank you to everyone who sent your stories through.
Our producer Alex has chosen a few for us.
We haven't heard these at all.
Okay, So the first one comes from Tory, Hey man Manna.
So this one is a bit of an odd one. So this is on behalf of one of my closest friends. She told me not long ago that she had this guy at her own snapchap. Has no idea who he is. She just added him back because you know why not. And they've had your normal conversation sort of just talking about like where each other's from, how old they are, like what they do.
For work, and the.
Day to day questions that you would normally ask people. So that's all fine, that's all will and good, until he starts saying to her that he's madly in love with her, he wants her to meet his whole family. They will absolutely love her and that sort of thing. And she says to me, She's like, I've never even met this guy in my life. But his where it gets super weird. He rocks up to her work acting like her boyfriend. So would walk up to anyone who's there is someone like here, lack.
That's traumatizing blah blah blah.
And everyone of her work is so confused because I know she doesn't have a boyfriend, and she's way too nice to say anything, so she literally acts like she's not at work. She will hide in the back room, and he just does not get the hint. So I'm honestly, I find it so weird.
First of all, like I said, adding someone on Snapchat or someone adding your snapchat's a red flag straightaway.
Snapchat, Yeah, like, if they're adding you as a miscellaneous person, there's a really good chance they're adding numerous people. But Snapchat.
To Tory's friend, who accepts a random on Snapchat.
Just don't do it. Guys, please, if you're listening, would you accept Lloyd doing this? I feel like she needs to get like an Avio on this guy.
I was about to say, this guy clearly he's out of touch with reality rocking up to her work. But another point is.
She's terrifying though he's he's saying it's her, he's saying they're together, Like that's unhinged. That's not normal. That's like not someone who's like mentally like with it, who's like seeing things clearly for what they truly.
Are maybe sending of snapchats I like love you all this sort of stuff, and then she's saying that to her friend.
I just feel like, as a general rule, like number one, as anat said, let's not add people we don't know on Snapchat. It's a very like scary platform. Number two, like why are you giving out personal details such as where you work? Like you really need to be super careful with your private details. You don't want anyone rocking up like even like you know, I know that there's like kids who are like begin to snapchat. It's mainly the younger generation or beginning to snapchat. Be careful of
your like your uniform. Like people who have that like stork mentality, they're like analyzing every photo of you, like what school are you out? You know, where you work? It's just terrifying to me. It makes me scared to be a parent because my kids are going to be like.
Wool and they're not going to have any Snapchat. Well, I think as well, I'm going to come from the other angle with this guy.
Oh, be careful, man, be careful.
Maybe rock up with some flowers or something like flowers.
Okay, I'm taking a piss, Maybe this guy should.
Yeah, just you know, I feel like she needs to be very clear with this guy, Like, I get it if you're like too scared and too nice. And I feel like at a younger age, I was that person.
I was too scared to hurt people's feelings. But I think with something like this, where someone is lying about being your partner and like trying to give other people false information, which you know it could lead you into a really dangerous pass I feel like she needs to be like, very clear, very clear, you are not my partner. Do not rock up at my work. And I think she needs to block him on Snapchat. And if that doesn't work, ABO, yes, all right.
So the next voicemail comes from Nicole, let's see who's been stalking her?
Fuck unstressed.
So I went to a summer camp in America where I met this man from England who I felt madly in love with, and I thought, oh my gosh, this is my husband.
I'm so happy and in love.
And then obviously the summer camp came to an end and I was like, we'll just keep going, you know, we'll see each other over Christmas. I'll fly to you, like I was willing to really put in the effort.
But then when I got home, like.
He was barely replying, like every like three days he's replied. It was like terrible, just basically avoided me and just was to give me the absolute bare minimum, like what a reply for three days?
Piss take.
Yeah. So I basically obviously got the message and it was like, well, see you later. Not happy, it was heartbroken as well. But then I was also kind of hopeful that I would see him again the following year at the same summer camp, because the plan was that we would both go back. He then decided he was isn't going, so I was like, oh, well, like I'll
still have an amazing summer. I then basically had an unreal summer where I just fucked around essentially and fucked multiple people and I was dropped morning and I sent him a snapchat by accident, I was meant to go to the girls where basically I was on the Walk of Shame and I was laughing and going, oh yeah, look at me just walking through my summer camp on the Walk of Shame, and like said same in the morning, and then basically he apparently decided that that was not okay,
and he rang me and said that he'd made the biggest mistake of his entire life and that he was going to come and fly to the US to come and see him for a weekend, in which I said, now, mates, so I was too little, too late. You missed your chance. I'm having a great summer. My plan after the summer camp was to go to Canada to Whistler, moved there, and a week later he then rang me and said, oh, I'm actually thinking about moving to Canada myself out of nowhere.
And I was like, well, that's great for you, but you can make sure you don't come to the same town I.
Do, because like that's just a bit weird.
He's like, no, no, no, like of course, not like I'm not even thinking Whistler. And I said, okay, great, you do you even though I'm going I know exactly what's gonna happen, because four weeks after I moved to Canada, what do you know, he's in the same town as
I am. I also got a job at a place at a hotel, and like I think, well, two or three weeks later, he got a job at the exact same hotel, and within a week of me actually being there, he yeah, broke down and said basically, he came here for me, got the whole bees up, moved countries from England to.
Nada just to follow me.
But yeah, he basically kept breaking down, but essentially, over about six months he did get over me and we kind of are friends now. But I think sometimes people go a bit cuckoo for people and they do things and say things that they wouldn't normally do. So but you know, it's worked out quite well because now he lives there permanently and I'm back home And the only regret I have is that we didn't have more sex, because he was the best sex in my life.
Little too crazy, Well you know what they say, the crazier they are, the better.
At sa mair, But I look multiple things Snapchat again, that's got her trouble.
I don't know, like, Okay, it's definitely full on and crazy of him and totally stalk herresque to move countries for someone, But.
I just look at it just being so romantic.
There was a part of me that was like it was a little romantic because at the start, she was like, oh, here's my future husband. So this is what I think happened. She was they had like this, like they had the best sex of their life. They met, sparks were everywhere, they were like, oh my god, it's amazing. He's gone home been like fuck, this is too hard. He's probably met a few other girls forgot about her. Yeah, it's kind of worn off. He's kind of like distanced himself
because he's like, fuck, we live in different countries. It's going to be too hard. Then he's got the snapchat and he's like, fuck, she's the lover of my life. She's he's probably imagining her like she's become celibate for the rest of her life.
A he's gotten a bit jealous.
He's gotten a bit jealous. Maybe he's like met heaps of women and he's like, no one compares to her. Obviously they're having great sex, and he's like, fuck, there's no one that is like her. And then he's like, you know what, maybe I'm going to put in the commitment, but it was too little, too late for her. So then he's like, I need to do this for romantic gesture to like, you know.
What I mean?
Am I wrong in thinking this?
I don't. I was thinking it was quite romantic that he's moved over to Canada.
For her, I thought, I guess, I guess the thing is is that she doesn't want him to anymore. Like she's like the boat has sailed, your chance is gone, and fair enough of her to do that. Good on over setting those boundaries.
I think you should have rocked up with flowers.
Mistake that things that're rocking up with flowers solves every world problem.
To be honest, though, I'm not a flower giving guy either, so I don't know why I'm coming up with that.
I feel like, good on her for setting those boundaries and being like, you know what, you had your chance and you blew it. You can't have me now, because I love that because it teaches men a lesson.
If she's giving up that sex though, if it was so amazing.
I wonder if they had sex in Canada, just like one last hurrah.
I'm assuming they would if there was that much sexual tension.
Well, she said that they just became friends, and she was like, no, I mean she had to set some clear boundaries of a strong note. If he's moved countries for her. Maybe she was like, I'm moving to Canada obviously, Like they've both done this camp in America, so they're both obviously well traveled people, adventures, spontaneous people. Maybe he was like, I've maybe wanted to move to Canada. The fact that you're here is just like the cherry on top.
I am one of my biggest regrets. He's not doing Camp America. Me too.
Someone was talking about my friend Natty was talking about how she's going to potentially do a camp like that in Switzerland, and I was like, what about Camp America.
I might wants to do. My youngest sister wants to do Camp America.
What an amazing experience.
My regrets. I think it would be so much fun.
But you're twenty seven, you know what I mean, You're as young as you're ever going to be.
I don't know exactly, I don't know why.
I then we have the podcast. I probably don't get to Camp America.
Yeah, I couldn't zoom in from a cabin with some kids. That just got really creepy. Okay, So the next one comes in from Josie. Let's hear about her stalker him at Nana.
So I met a guy through a like semi mutual friend and we went on a date and like it was pretty good, you know, like we clicked, we had a good time. But like I'd just gotten out of a relationship a few months before, so I was thinking, like, like,
whatever happens, I'll take it slow. So then, like I think, like five days later, we met up for a second date, and he tells me his roommate is moving out to move in with his girlfriend and he can't afford the rent on his his own, So would I want to move in with him?
Don't do it?
After two dates? And so I politely like said no, like that's nuts and yeah, And so then we went on like one more date after that, because I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt that you know, maybe he'd just temporarily lost his mind. And he asked me again even though I'd said no, red flag, So I said no again, and then The next day he texted me asking me to move in with him again, So I didn't go out with him again.
Yeah, naturally, look on that though, I'm going to play Devil's advocate again.
Oh my god, that we didn't be on the side of the people.
He should have got a flowers. Okay, it's it annoying though that, Like I haven't been in the situation in ages, but you know, when you're dating so on and you're more keen than they are, and like, how much how annoying is that?
That is annoying.
That makes me feel sorry for the bloke. But but he's coming on way too keen. He's laying it on way look me and.
You move probably as fast as anyone. We love. We love a fast moving thing. Like when we're in. Yeah, when we're in, we're in.
But like I don't know how to read a room.
We can read a room. And I think it's a real fucking red flag if after two dates you're asking someone to move in. Not only is it like rude, but it's also putting someone in a position where they're starting to like, they feel like guilty and you're making them feel like, well, it's your fault. That they now kind of for their rent, Like that's a you problem.
Doesn't doesn't she Josie have a lease as well that she probably can't break, Like what is he thinking about it? Smartly?
Like, but it's also weird, Like it's just a line cross. It's just there's no like mental boundaries that he set to me, Like that's like way too far, Like we don't care how much, how great these first two dates have gone two dates in, Like that's not going to happen, Like at least, I mean, I moved in after four months, so you know, we moved quickly. But like I didn't ask Michael to move in. He was basically living at my house.
He was already squatting there.
And he was allowed to become a squatter, so this was easy.
No, I think that, Yeah, that's why too, can you're not even exclusive, you haven't even had the chart. You're not together.
You need to be dating for at least three months before that conversation is even brought up, Like you need to know that each other is one hundred percent all in and in two dates. Even if you've had incredible sex and like the best two dates of your life, it does not equate to moving in. No done. Okay, guys, that's all we have time for. As always, make sure you're following our socials, our TikTok, where's your head at pod? Our, Instagram, Where's your head at pod follow our Facebook page. Make
sure you give us a five star review. As you know, we are a small podcast and those reviews really do go a long way. Matt and I read all of them, so we do really appreciate that. And until next time, Bye bye,