I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.
She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing style with.
The boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours.
He's in a trash bin.
He's non recyclable catching her mu.
I love being love. I love love.
On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are sitting down with Beck, the host of Suka with Beck podcast.
Beck is a self proclaimed sugar baby who is here in the studio with us today to educate us on the whole world of sugaring.
We're going to ask her all your juicy questions and find out what it's really like to have a sugar daddy.
Stick around to hear about all the fancy dinners and Gucci bags.
Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.
This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more.
Oh, they haven't got a Gucci bag?
Yes yet, you're working on.
It or working on it?
It's on the Christmas? Why is sal and Tom for now?
Still they're good? They're still decent brands.
I can't complain. Welcome to the studio.
Well, no, thank you for coming in. We'd love to talk to you about this. We've been talking about it for a while and said this is something we want to touch on in the dating world. Yeah, pleasure to have you in here.
Firstly, congrats on your podcast. You've done a few episodes now it looks like it's going really well.
Thank you.
Yeah. So it's called Suka with Beck. Suker is a handscript word for a person's authentic state of happiness, and that's just what we're all really looking for. So thank you. It's a few episodes.
In now, that's good. That's good.
So you are a self proclaimed sugar baby. First of all, how did you get into this? Because this is like such a foreign world to us. So we were like, we like, we want to just pick your brain and ask you all the questions.
Yeah, pick away, How did I get into it? Well, I mean we're going back. So I'm thirty one now, would have been around twenty two, twenty three years old. When I first started. I was sitting at a table with two of my single girlfriends and we're just talking about like, how the fuck do you actually find somebody in this world. And this is sort of about the time where online dating was starting to kick off and we were just looking at what sort of online platforms
we can use. And a friend of mine stumbled across a website called seeking Arrangements dot Com and she had signed up thinking it was just a normal website, and she messaged the group chat and was like, oh my god, I signed up and I found out it's like a sugar baby website and how gross you know, et cetera, etc.
And I was just like, hang on a second, what now this.
Exists?
And so I was just going along with what they were like, you know, I was like.
Yeah, that's gross.
But then I was at home signing myself up and that's just sort of where it all begains.
So, oh my god, So tell me about your first experience. So obviously, like you've got on the website, you might have a few like.
Is it matches?
Would you call them?
Yeah?
It works pretty much the same as any other online dating platforms.
Wife left or rightfile.
Yeah, you put a profile up, so men actually have to pay I think it's one hundred dollars a month to be on the profile.
Women don't have to pay.
So you create a profile and then you can like different profiles or you can just slide on into the dms.
Right, so you.
Both have to like each other. Or do the men come to the women?
The men come to the women.
I mean, you can as a woman on the platform as well, like message them, but to be honest, it's not really necessary to.
Get in undated.
Tell us what your dating profile says. Then on there, how do you sell yourself to the potential?
Well, first of all, I don't use my real name, so I almost have an alter ego. I suppose you could say, yeah, my name would be Bethany Bardell.
Yeah, yes, thank you.
I chosen name that kind of sounded a little bit similar to mine because if I called myself like Rachel or something, then I definitely wasn't going to turn around.
Exactly.
Yeah, so it's like, yeah, everyone calls me Beth, which is close enough to beck right, yeah, thank you. Yeah, So on my profile it's Beth Barjel. I have, you know, a picture of just myself, and then you can post a few pictures, so they might just be like full length shot when in a little bit of a bikini
you can't put any like nudity photos on there. It's very screened that way, and then on my profile it just says, you know something like young, fun, bubbly, looking to have a good time, you know, don't mind exploring any fantasies that you might have. And I'm just looking for somebody who can help fund a lifestyle that I enjoy.
But can't afford distress, say, yeah, come save me.
Do the men on there like that then, because I'm obviously like the whole dynamic of like a sugar Duddy and sugary.
Bay sugar baby.
You haven't been on the side, No.
I haven't.
Well do you think that like it is that the men like to support the woman, like that's the whole premise of it, and that's sort of like one of their many fetishes.
Yeah, so I suppose the difference between just going down to your local brothel and going online to a platform like this is. You know, the men that come across on the site, they do want to have that emotional connection with someone, and they will all say in their first messages, you know, looking for someone who I can
connect with. They really want that girlfriend experience, someone where you can sit and talk with you know, most of the dates we go on, We'll start at a really nice restaurant and we'll have a really nice stin together, we'll have really great conversations, and then we might move on to other things later. But they are looking for that conversation, that experience as a whole collective. So and rather than just going down to say to your brothel
or whatnot. You know, they are in a financially privileged position and they do want to help someone with goals or help someone out financially because they're in a position to do so.
Quite noble really, So.
All these men, like what's the like, what's the demograph of these men? Like what's the average age? Are they all wealthy? Like do you have to do they.
Screen them for like their income?
Yeah? They do so.
Yeah, so when you're setting up your profile, you first, when you set it up, you have to put on whether or not you're going to be sugar baby or sugar daddy. I'm sure that there are milks on there as well, but they do need to put their net worth on there.
So how did they screen? How do they screen? If that's I mean, I don't know, I don't know.
Imagine if there's guys being like, hey, I'm a multimillionaire and they've got like ten dollars in their bank account, surely they must screen it.
Well, they're not getting any action for ten.
Dollars, So what do these guys look like?
What's your average clients?
Kind of like give us like I don't know, illustrates him to all about.
Listen, when you.
Picture like a sugar daddy, you'd picture like this, like well matured, you know, silver fox in a suit and like, you know, I really like good looking, but I've got.
To ship together.
But I would assume there'd be other ones out there as well. Yeah, I have to come across.
Yeah.
I definitely went into this world thinking that it was going to be like that.
Yeah, I was a little bit naive.
And that's what you imagine, right, you imagine pretty women, yeah, like George Clooney.
And then the reality of it is.
That most of the men who are on there probably like fifty five plus. I mean the oldest guy that I've seen was probably well, he was probably like early seventies, So we're in that sort of age demographic. There are younger guys on there, though definitely, I mean, were there are guys in their thirties as well that are just high profile people or high profile clients. They have multi
billion dollar companies. They want privacy, they don't want it to be publicized, and they don't want any clinging sort of women that are going to hate around, and they don't want anyone that's looking for a relationship because they don't have time. So you definitely do have those clients also, but that's probably not the most common demographic. It normally is just older men who are in a wealthy position who probably can't get a young, pretty woman. Yeah, I love that for me.
So have you always enjoyed dating older men? Is that something that you've liked or it's something that you've kind of, would you say, accepted or kind of like adapted to. Yeah.
I think it was definitely something that I adapted to over time. It was not something that I thought that I would enjoy. But then when I you know, I was just in a position in my life where when I first started, i'd gotten out of a relationship with a guy that was very, very sexually experienced in lots of different ways and I hadn't been and I was like, right, that's it.
I just almost he wasn't he.
Was my age, a couple of years older, but you know, he'd had threesomes and this and.
That, and I, you know, I was quite new, I suppose, you could say.
And I was like, right, I just went on a mission where I was say, I don't ever want to be in a position again in a relationship where I feel like I've missed out. And then I fell into this, and then I just kind of fell in love. I suppose I really grew to enjoy dating ULTI men because they know a lot, right. They're all really wealthy people because they've created businesses or they've worked their way up in a business. They're creative, and they're intellectual, and they
have a lot of life experience. And as someone a young girl in her twenties, you don't know a lot of those things.
So I really.
Began to enjoy being a sugar baby because I was going on these days. But I was also learning a lot about life. I was learning a lot about business, how to talk to people, how to engage with people, and how to just live life in a way that was smart, I suppose, because they've made all of their mistakes and they've all got lessons that they can teach you, so you always walk away with learning something and I think that that's really valuable.
So that's so interesting to me. Jeez, I to give us some of the.
Lessons, that's still twenty seven lessons to learn.
Can I learn them the hard way?
So when you've set up your profile, you've got it set up, then they message you. Is there like talk of what the transaction will be and how much and what prices are for? What does that come in there or is it down the track?
No, it definitely happens online, So you want to establish what like, you just want to establish and make sure that you guys are both on the same page so that no one's wasting their time. It's very much the same if you were on bumble, you know, what are you looking for? What would you like? What sort of date should we go on? That sort of thing. So it's definitely the same because like, no one wants to waste their time, right, I'm not getting ready for a date.
I mean you understand you're a female, you know, and it's like getting ready for a date.
It takes time, God damn it, So don't.
Yeah, so you definitely come to that understanding of how much it's going to cause how long the date will take, what the expectations are, because perhaps they're looking for a particular sexual experience that I don't feel comfortable in providing.
And that's so fine. I just say, that's not really my jam.
But you know, really good luck on licking toes if that's your fetish.
It's not really my thing.
Well let's take it back to the start. When you went on your very first date. Tell us a bit about that. How was that for you as your first experience obviously going into this unknown now?
Was that it was with the tell us a bit.
About Yeah, I mean I was definitely shitting myself for sure. I think actually for my very first date, I got really lucky because it was a younger guy in his thirties and he was like a DJ photographer and he
was in Melbourne with some virtual reality glasses thing. I mean, I can't even remember exactly what it was, but he was doing some tour or some event and yeah, so we met at a bar and we had some drinks there and then we went out to dinner at Nobu and yeah, and we and I mean I was really nervous, but he was a really nice guy. And we had a really great time, and then we went back to the hotel that he was staying out and had some sexy time.
And that was that is the money I paid beforehand? Or is it? How has it exchanged?
Yeah? That would come beforehand. Yeah.
So the only time that I probably wouldn't like, wouldn't worry about getting the payment beforehand is if I've established an ongoing arrangement with somebody.
Yeah, isn't it awkward to ask for money beforehand?
Like how do you initiate that?
I don't know, just personally seeking I'm thinking of myself in that position.
Oh yeah, it's awkward as fuck. Yeah, I'm exactly the same. I hate confrontation, and I mean, how do you say to somebody, Okay, yeah, it's time for you to give me five hundred dollars.
Like kissing him. It's all taking off, and then.
It's like a bit of a buzzkill. Yeah.
I mean the best way to do it is, you know, when you're messaging before you get there, when you're going through your expectations and that sort of thing, and it say, you know, we're agreeing on an amount, and then I just say cash needs to be paid up front, you know, or it just needs to be poor on the table because obviously for them as well, they're like, well, how do I know that you're not going to just take the money and run sort of things, So, you know,
it generally just sort of gets port like on the table if they feel comfortable enough to give it to you. But it's just safer. I mean, I've never been in touch wood, never been poort in a situation where they haven't gone through with the financial side of things. But yeah, generally, upfront.
What's the most you've got for like, I guess like a date night with maybe finishing with like a little rendezvous at a hotel.
Just like with a single day, probably about one thousand dollars.
And paid for Yeah, I like that.
A couple of bucks.
So yeah, I mean sometimes yeah, I think I've been to rock Pool once and the bill for dinner came to nine hundred and fifty dollars.
Yeah.
Wow, so it's like two grand.
So it's like you're getting paid in a hotel fee on top of that.
Yeah, So yeah, you're getting paid in like cash money, but then also like experiences and getting to like live this.
Bougie lifestyle and That's why I love it, right, and that's what gets addictive because I'm a beauty therapist by trade.
You know, average wage is like what fifty sixty K a year.
The average wage for an Australian is ninety thousand dollars kill me. And I got into that because I love making people feel good, and I like making people happy,
and I like making people feel confident. But why does that need to come at a cost to the life that I want to live in the experiences that I want to have Because I chose an industry that is based on passion, not making bank, you know, so that was a really good balance for me that I can have these lifestyle polks that I enjoyed, but then also continue to work in an industry that I love.
So so have you kind of swapped out like dating people who I guess you might meet in like regular life and might ask you on a date for just sugaring. Now, Like, is that solely how you date?
No?
I mean, if an opportunity presents itself in the wild,
then I'll, you know, definitely give that go. But it's definitely made dating hard because it's probably put the expectation up a little bit and I mean I was sort of doing a little bit of both, but I just got to a point where you know, you're online, swiping away on Fumble or Tinder and like, okay, Bob when it come Netflix and chill, like you're so hot, and you get there and you're just not sexually satisfied anyway, and you're like, well, fuck, I could have got paid
for this, but dating, let's get pack.
We said, at least you're getting paid for all the terrible if it is a terrible yeah, exactly.
Yeah, we leave with nothing but the terrible experience in the cash.
Yes, yea.
And I mean, I guess the other thing is when you're going on a date with a guy that's older, who perhaps wouldn't be able to otherwise in a normal situation, get somebody like myself or like a younger girl, the attitude that they have towards.
You spending time with them is amazing.
I feel so powerful, I feel so beautiful appreciative as well. Yeah, like they'll look at me like my launch and like wow, you're so gorgeous, and they're just like worshiping how wonderful you are. Whereas you're not going to get that same appreciation from some guy of Tinder. So it's definitely put a little bit of in into normal dating life for sure.
What about in the future going forward, say you find someone outside of sugaring, someone that you think is your life partner, would you tell them about your sugaring and like all that sort of stuff. Great question because obviously, like we, like we said before we went on and I said, I'll touch on this, I find the topic very taboo, and like when I was asking you questions before we got you on, I felt that you want to make you feel uncomfortable about it, or we're going over what we're.
Going to chat about. And I was like, look, I don't want.
To make you feel uncomfortable, so you didn't want to feel like you were priving I.
Was crying as well a line yeah, because obviously I hadn't met you and we speaking over Instagram and I was asking questions like, hey, can we talk about this?
Is this allowed?
Like yeah, we want to try to say that may but would you think you tell a guy because some guys maybe might not understand it might be a bit not judgmental, but a bit like oh okay, you know what I mean?
Like the old school fashion way of thinking.
Yeah, of course, great question. So I've probably I've had.
Two boyfriends since I've started this. First one I didn't tell.
While you were doing it.
No, no, no, no.
So if I ever get myself into a relationship, then I just stop sugaring.
Yeah, I would never do them.
At the same time, would you classify that as cheating then?
Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah, because I know.
A lot of people can say that it's not you know, like porn and the stars they say that, so it's a little bit different. But they say it's not cheating because it's work.
Yeah, because that's work. Yeah, for sure. I think for me, it's just a way of dating.
Yeah, I don't necessarily see as work. It's the way that I enjoy to date. It's a way that I financially benefit my life. But if I was to get myself into a relationship, no, that stops there, whether or not to tell someone. So the first boyfriend that I had, you know, I stopped sugaring.
I didn't tell him, and I just thought, oh gosh, I tell him, should not tell him? I don't know. Anyway that ended.
And the next boy friend that I had, I did end up telling him, and you're right, it didn't go well, and it's just a little bit frustrating. And in the same way that you were a little bit uncomfortable asking me questions as you think it's taboo, Well, like the way that I see it is, it's just dating and it's just sex. Like why is it that as soon as the money gets mentioned, then suddenly everyone feels uncomfortable or suddenly it's a bit taboo, or suddenly it's a little bit wrong.
Like I wouldn't say wrong, I just say like the way it is, it's like, you know, it's well, it is actually technically the oldest profession in the world, but yours isn't the exact same as like, you know, being like that, but like, yeah, I don't know. It's just like people, I don't know. You just don't want to cross a line. You don't want to say something that might offend.
You, you know. And that's how I felt personally.
Yeah, for sure, No, I respect that it is. It's a difficult conversation to have, and but it's funny because everybody is so interested about it, Like all of my friends know, and I think I'm really blessed and lucky that I have a good group of friends that have never judged me. But you know, every time I tell a woman about it, they are always like.
Damn, I wish I could do that. Why didn't I hear about that.
Matt was like, hey, I've got this amazing guest and he told me and I was like, oh my god, I'm so excited to ask so many questions, like I have a million questions because like, yeah, there's definitely been like and I've told this to Matt, there's been opportunities that this guy who hired me for this modeling job, I did the job for him and he paid me like it was through my agency, but it was like a very high fee, like unusually high. But my agency was like, I mean, we'll take it if that's what
he's paying. But then afterwards he was like he sent me a text message privately because he asked for my number, which I just gave him because I was like eighteen, and I was like, sure, here you go. And he sent me a message and he was like, hey, like just wondering I have what does he What did he say? So the message read I have an arrangement with a New York model And I was wondering if you would spend the night with me for five thousand dollars all
the weekend for ten thousand. I had like probably about one hundred dollars in my bank account at the time, and I was like, is this guy serious, Like I couldn't.
Believe the amount of money, Like it was just wild to me.
I obviously didn't go through with it because I was just like very terrified and just it's not for me. But like in the same breath, I just also was like fascinated and like wow, like I can't believe, like I could potentially have ten thousand dollars sitting in my bank account just for one weekend, Like that's amazing.
Above normal, or yeah.
That's pretty about normal. Yeah it would be.
But I mean, you know, for the dates that I usually go on, I don't spend the night with them, right, so you know, the financial agreement.
That we have is just for a couple of hours. I went to go home to my bed with my dog, and I just.
Don't necessarily feel safe spending the night. I mean, for my birthday a couple of weeks ago, I went away with the guy that I'm in a relationship, like a current arrainment now and you know, we feel safe because you know, I've been seeing him now for like six months or so, and I feel I felt safe enough to do that.
But generally I don't spend the night the sugar daddy is what would you call them? Your clients? Do they expect exclusivity from me?
I was about to ask.
That, Yeah.
Sometimes. Yeah, So the current arrangement that I have you could call, yeah, an exclusive arrangement for sure, But I mean.
Put more money on top. Then do you say, well, I could be making X amount with other people.
No, just because I've gotten to a point where I'm just so busy in my life that i don't.
Have the time a normal relationship.
But you don't have.
But you could, like.
Manager, yeah, yeah, I'll put him in touch with you.
You could say, well, I'm missing out on this much even if you're not you can laugh.
Yeah, I mean, I just if there is anything that I need paid for. For example, you know my my body corporate rates? Would you do last week? And I just messaged him and said, hey, my body corporate rates are this week? Like, financially, it's just a really stressful time. I don't really have the money for that right now. He's like, great, how much is it? And the next day it was in my account to pay.
For so good.
Yeah, my car was in the mechanics a few weeks ago because my radiator blew up and he's like, well, how much is the bill? And told him how much the bill was. Next day the money was in my account. So I feel like I could.
Brain ticking over.
He's like going to be a sugar baby and now like.
Just well you can set up your profile bag.
He loves it.
No, I don't think I'm going to do that, but I just I just yeah, it's just like that's it's you hear about it, but you never, like you never actually talk with someone that does it. Like it's always like I do. Remember me and my mate back when eighteen Ben We're like, yeah, like let's do that, let's do that. But yeah, but like you know, you're eighteen and you're thinking that, like you know what I mean?
Is there a market for men in it?
No, I'm I'm just asking you did say I just joked on my coffee.
I know I thought I was going to wear this coffee because.
When you're on the.
Is it just is he blushing? Is the life.
I can't, it's no, I was just asking because you said obviously you said earlier there's on there. Have you seen on the website that there is a market for that or is it just I mean male dominant dominant?
It would be male dominant for sure. I don't know.
I mean you can I remember when I was signing up. You know, you port whether or not you're like female or male, and whether you want to be like the sugar or providing the sugar. But I think the most classic scenario is that the man would be the sugarman. But you know, you could probably find yourself for milk.
I have no doubt that.
I was just asking that.
It would definitely be on the site. But I think like typically a woman, like an older woman could probably pick up in a like an organic normal fashion a lot easier than an older man could.
Yeah, for sure.
So what has been like the best perk that you've got from sugar? Like bags? I'm thinking, like, you know, cars maybe, or I just like living in this like fantasy.
You're probably living in a fantasy land. I think it was maybe like that once upon a time. But I think you'll be surprised at how many women are actually doing it, and how many women are on this platform. So I think that the price of things and the perks of it all has sort.
Of come down a lot over to time.
Yeah, I read an article that said there's one hundred and seventy seven thousand university students in Australia who are
on these websites doing sugaring. So it's I think it's a lot more common it is, And like it's also cool that you're willing to talk about it because like I mean, I don't know anyone who's willing to be open and chat about it, and it's really refreshing to just it's just interesting to just get an insight almost into that world because it feels like this like you know, far away like world, but.
It's it's kind of like normal, right, just dating.
Yeah, it's just stating.
And the way I look, the way I think about it is if you go, if you really break it down, like I say, you just recently got engaged. I'm not going to ask you how much your ring cost, but that's a financial gift to you.
So what is doing it? Transition?
So do you know what I mean? Like just to put a little bit of perspective.
Everybody accepts, you know, a really nice diamond ring from their future partner, or you know when you go on a date with someone.
I know nine out of ten women.
Would expect the guy to pay for that, at least on their first days.
So what is different?
Matt likes a fifty to fifty car. Okay, I have a question. Yes, have you ever had a client and you have met him and you've been like a bit repulsed by him?
There's something that's really turns you off. I don't know, bad.
Bo creepy, something that you're just like red flag tapping out.
Yeah, I mean.
I just have There's like one story that comes to mind it makes me want to tell. Okay, so with this guy who's like some Persian surgeon and Persian surgeon. I was in his big gin normous house and and he was just gross that anyway.
That's way physical or just the way he was acting.
Oh could it be Bose? Yeah? Absolutely.
I was like, you were just one seriously cocky by the arrogant. Yeah, really arrogant, but anyway, that's fine. And we got to the bedroom and I don't know what comes over men when they think about like going on top on for sixty nine, like there's just nothing attractive about it from a female's perspective.
Visualized, you visualize, I think it can.
Actually it works like yeah, but it's sucking rained eying there and he just thinks mind you he was fat, and I was like, oh god, I'm gonna get squashed right anyway.
No self awareness my mind.
You know, dollar bills and gets on top and you know when a guy's like fifty five class, you know, balls are staggy and in my face I barely breathe for starters, and then I just I look up and then you just see the ars crack and there was just this hairy ass crack with.
Little dingle dangles in the Sorry, it was right there.
Right right there to flick the.
Why why would.
You ask for extra for that? But you can't, not.
Really you can't. You wanted to see me again, and I was like, sorry, clean.
Your Assholey, we'll talk about like you're a surgeon trying they have to, like bel.
Didn't you ask for a shower first though, wouldn't you say?
Well, this was quite early on, like now jays, yeah, probably freshen up. But most people are like most guys come to the table, clean, clean, ideally ideally, Yes, they come and they're all dressed up in their fancy suit and try to make a good impression.
Bless them.
Yeah, but that's probably the grossest story than I so sorry for.
It was such a visual story, like I'm still visualizing.
I'm struggling to like.
It will halt you the word dingle dangles.
That was where I really.
Well, Okay, so what's the So you've obviously been asked to do different stuff in the bedroom. What would be the craziest like someone's fetish then that they have asked you to do? Have you the one you've done and the one you've turned down because it was too wild?
Yeah?
Wow, great questions.
I mean I had a client once who was just really turned on by like other people watching. So I know we've like gone to the nude beach a couple of times together because he just gets turned on by like other people looking at me.
And we went to.
A sex club in Melbourne, which I didn't even know there was exist. He's like, yeah, I've got.
I'm on the list.
I'm on the list.
Yeah, through the mask, I.
Knew you look familiar.
Hold on, Hold on holder.
What's the sex club? Exactly? Just for everyone listening. I think I know, but I just want like clarification.
It's a club you have sex in.
And then you go there and they like these different rooms and you'll sit around. I don't know, I've never been, so I don't know the premise about it.
I had.
Honestly, it was maybe like a little bit naive, but I didn't even know that they were here. It was just like very Berlin vibes. So it was like this little club.
Like you wouldn't even know. I don't even know exactly where.
It was maybe near Richmond something like that, and it was near the city and you just walk in. You buy a ticket, and then you walk in. There was a bar there, some pool tables. There's like a big locker room where you go in and you put all of your stuff so you can walk around naked or just in lingerie, whatever you sort of want. And this particular place had yeah, pool tables, some TVs which just.
Had pawn going.
People are just hanging around and whatever they feel comfortable in, and then you go down this hallway and there's just a different space dedicated for all these different things at the end, there's like a steam room where people getting down and dirty, and there's like a jacuzzi.
There's a like a cross room where.
You can tie yourself up in bondage, and there's like an yeah, yeah, okay, gotcha.
It was like as I was manufacturing my own.
There are all these different rooms where you can like lock and there's just like all these buckets or condoms everywhere, and there's like a big orgy room, so it's just like this big platform where everyone can sort of join. And then there was like this other one where they had like a like a mini hole that you could like sort of lay between, so you could have sex with someone and not know who was on the other side. So yeah, I went there with him, which was quite
a fun and interesting experience. But I think the one that stands out the most I had a client who really just had this. I mean, he just wanted to experience being with male, which he had never done before.
So like he was online trying to find a male and he couldn't for a while, but he often organized like myself and perhaps like one or two other girls, and we would you know, have a threesome or foursome whatever together and there were other sugar babies as well, and so he we played rock faper scissors and who was going to put a strap on on and fuck him? Because he just really wanted to be fucked in the art. I that wasn't me, thank the heavens. So that was an interesting sight to.
Watch, Wolly so interesting looks.
It looks it's hard.
Work to work out for us.
Wow. I mean I'm still not over the fact that there's a sex club like this in Melbourne.
That is crazy to me.
Yeah, and there's also I mean, with that same client, I went to a Saintansim Sinner's Ball, which is annually every year just on King Street and it's yeah, it's just a club and everyone there's a different uniform theme or like dress theme every year. My face is actually on the cover of the album by accidents. Yeah, it's
just embarrassing Saints and Sinner's Ball. So we went as he was Hugh Hefner and he's too bunny, and I mean it was packed, like there were like thousands of people that hundreds thousands, I don't know that.
It was like three level club.
Wowow packed couples, gay, straight, fluent like whatever you can imagine you're like they were there well and like the median age for.
The Saint since Sinna's ball. I mean there were young people there. I bumped into someone that I went to beauty school where she was there with her boyfriend.
Oh really?
Yeah?
Is it awkward if you go to a sex party and then you see someone that you actually know there?
Well, I mean it only happened that one time from the Saint Cincinnaswall, but I mean she's there with her boyfriend.
I'm just there.
Yeah, I mean, who's the one that should feel more awkward? But I think you know when everybody when you're in a place like that, it's because you're a sexually comfortable, open minded person.
So there's actually no shame there at all.
Again, would you ask for more money to go to those sort of places or is that like just the set rate.
I mean, it's just we would come to to the
arrangement of what we decided. I mean I don't buy my tickets, I don't buy my drinks when I go, And I mean, let's be honest, I love having sex, like and I really enjoy pushing my boundaries and opening my mind like I want to experience it everything that life has to offer a period, and if that means going to a really like to a sex club or going to Saint Sincinna's ball to open my mind to what else is out there and how people live in order to understand people better and learn more than sign
me up. It doesn't it doesn't feel like work.
All for me. I got a message on Instagram and it was this guy and he was like, hey, I would love to pay you to kick me in the balls normal this world.
I have not done that while.
Not in a sugar baby sugar daddy's situation. And I did it to a guy in a club once, but that's fine. That's such infering story. I mean, I had a guy, you know, ask me if I could like tie him up and like whip him and spit on him and call him all sorts of like really gross names and things like that, and I'm just like, it's not really my vibe. I just feel like you dirty dog like this sort.
Of wild fetishes, but have some wild ones.
Yeah, another one that you remember.
I mean, no, I did with like a different group of my friends go to another like Dominatrix kind of party, and like there are so many different avenues that people find pleasure out of. Like there was this one girl that was cable tied in a like in a cage, and this guy was electrocuting and she had a bag on her head that was taped up and she found she found she was loving it.
It was a lot to watch.
To be honest, but I mean I just went with a few of my girlfriends, Like that wasn't for work. But yeah, like the people are into some very interesting things. I mean, whatever, get it.
One of the most challenging things about sugaring.
Then, I think the most challenging thing would probably be that you know, most of the time you're not physically attracted to them, right, So that's probably the biggest hurdle that you have to overcome. But I am not a superficial look space person. I am attracted to personality and intelligence. You could be a tend but if you're just like a douchebag, don't care how high you are, it's just not happening. So that's sort of how I overcome it.
Because if we're having a conversation over dinner and you know, you've talked to me about you know, your life experiences or how you've built a company or you know, X, Y and Z, and I've built that emotional connection with somebody and that appreciation for what somebody has achieved in their life. And I find that attractive, even if I don't physically find them attractive.
Yeah.
Yeah, Otherwise it's just joggy style. You know.
Obviously it's like a you know, it's amazing because like you know, they're paying bills that you're struggling to pay. They're kind of relieving financial stresses. Do you ever feel like you're putting yourself in danger in these situations? Like has there ever been dangerous situations where you've been like, maybe this isn't for me anymore?
Great question?
Not really, I think the really like a really, I do it in a way that is probably the safest option. I go for dinner first normally, so if they're if I ever encountered a situation where I was like, this isn't really for me, and that's how and once then I just say, look, this isn't really for me, Thank you so much, but I just don't think we're a good match.
And that's fine.
I get a free dinner, you know, good luck to you. And I mean also let's just look at it from, you know, a normal dating perspective. What difference is it to go and meet up with a guy off Tinder you're just going around to his place for Netflix and trill to going to see a sugar daddy. They're both people that you don't know that you've met online. I have my location permanently shared with three different people, and I always tell someone where I'm going.
But I mean, I feel like the only difference wouldn't maybe be that they might feel like they have some sort of ownership over you because they're hating you in a way, Like do you ever feel that where they're like, you're kind of mine, kind of like a you know that misogynistic I have, yeah.
Like mentality.
Yeah, I mean, that's definitely happened. And if a person has made me feel to be like, made me feel uncomfortable and objectified, and I don't feel good about that situation, then I just don't see that person again. But at the end of the day, you know, in situations like that, well, they have paid for my time, you know, that is what they've paid for. And it's just like any other job. If there are avenues in every job that you like tasks that you do in every job that you don't enjoy.
That's true.
So a lot of these clients are established men and they've got jobs and careers and all that. Are any even married or do they give up that information to you?
Some of them, in all honesty.
Do or they do share that with me and they are Look, it's a tricky thing, right because I suppose that's where a lot of judgment around sugar babying comes in. But at the end of the day, I'm not really there to pass judgment on something that they're doing, Like if they have arrived in this point in their marriage
where they're not happy. I mean I had someone once who had been in a relationship with like been married for thirty years, hasn't had sex in seven years, Like him and his wife sleep in separate rooms, but you know, they have a family together, and statistically, in a divorce or whatever, the guy's going to come out on the bottom.
You know, the woman statistically will get the we'll get the kids.
And the house and that sort of thing. And you know, so they want to have an outlet that they're not getting within their marriage. And as a thirty one year old, I can't possibly judge or put myself in a position where I can even fully comprehend what that must be.
Like.
I don't know their backstory.
I don't know.
Yeah, maybe they've got an agreement, you know what I mean, maybe they have an agreement.
Really well, Yeah, tell us about the agreements that you've heard from husbands who are seeking sugar babies.
Yeah, so sometimes like they might have, say, for example, that client I was saying, who quite likes other people observing or likes going to those sex clubs and things like that, his wife is just not into that, and she honestly just has no She's like, that's fine. If that's something that you really want to explore and you need that to feel fulfilled, then you can go ahead and do that with someone else. That's just not going
to be me. But I've also been a third in a married relationship, you know, as a sugar baby going into that relationship because it's a lot they feel a lot more comfortable having that third come in that's under that sort of financial arrangement so that there are no like risks of feelings and that sort of thing going to Yeah.
I know people that have done that as well, and couples that do bring someone in. You said that your friends know what you do and they're like interested in they're welcoming of it. Have you told your family?
I have told my mum and my sister. Actually probably not to the extent that we've spoken about it. But I went through I mean I came from a very religious, sheltered sort of life, and I mean we also didn't have a lot of money either, and I think that this is why I just tried to capitalize on wherever it is that I can find that financial stability because you know, trauma and all that.
But no, I think it's fair enough.
Yeah, I did to make money.
Yeah, So we didn't talk actually for a couple of years and when after you told him, no, no, this is just for other, you know, other reasons because I've always been different, you know, to my family. I just don't fit into that religious culture and that sort of thing. But when we reignited our relationship, I was just I made that conscious decision that I'm just going to be one hundred percent open and honest with her, that this is, you know, who I am, and if we're going to
have a relationship, is going to be an honest one. Yeah, so she doesn't know that one hundred percent ins and out of it. But you know, like she lent me money to buy my car once so that I didn't have to get a loan out and then I just pay it back to her in cash and she's like, I don't want to know.
So she's not going to listen to the don't share the link to this episode with her?
No, no, I'm not going to be in a hurry.
To share it with So are you? So obviously you haven't told your daddy. You don't have communication with your dad.
Then I haven't told my dad. No.
Do you think you'll ever tell him?
Well? No, So you just say to your mum, you go for dinner with these men and they paid. Yeah.
I just say I have sugar daddies.
Yeah yeah.
And she's like, oh my god, do you think you'll ever give up sugary? Yeah?
I mean I feel like I'm almost getting to a point now where I'm almost done with it because I you know, I do want to find someone that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. And you know, I want to find love and find my person, and you know, so I can't be doing this forever. But I mean it is really difficult because well, where is that financial gap? How is that financial gap going to be filled? You know, it's and that's a tricky thing when you do start dating. It's not just Okay,
I've got to stop sleeping around with other people. Now, It's like, okay, but how am I going to then continue to pay my bills? It's a massive cut to my lifestyle, you know, to be exclusive with someone. But yeah, I think I am getting to a point where I'm getting done with it because I do want to find that somebody. But yeah, it's definitely not a for everything, but it's a thing that has served me really well.
Yeah.
Absolutely, Have you ever fallen in love with one of your sugar daddies?
No, Weir.
Would be like a yeah, happy ending.
I know it would be, but it just hasn't happened.
The modern day.
Pretty would you when you were like when you're doing it because I was your exclusive with the guy?
Now?
Would you have like almost like a roster and you'd just like see one guy one night or like you know what I mean, you'd have certain clients that kept coming back and you'd pencil them in a certain day and you knew that you had to go spot to but you were working that night.
Yeah.
So it's just like setting dates on with any other sort of form of dating. Really, a lot of the clients.
Like they're all busy people.
Often they're just flying into Melbourne for an event, so they'll just message me and be like, hey, I'm in Melbourne the weekend of the whatever. When I was younger, like in my twenties, when I was doing it more frequently because I was saving up to go to Europe. So I was just like smashing them ad as often as they could. Then I would just have my diary open and Joe, yeah, just lists them out for the week.
I would never normally ask anyone about their financial situation, but do you have a lot of savings through sugaring?
I did until I bought a house. Okay, well I've bought an apartment. I bought an apartment. I mean you're very small but very expensive apartment.
Yeah, thank you in this market age, thank you.
Yeah.
And you know this is the thing, right if you know, if people want to pass judgment or comments on what I've done, then that's fine.
That's your prerogative.
But I know for a fact that I wouldn't have been able to go to thirty three countries. I wouldn't have been able to drive the car that I drive, own an apartment, have the dog that I have, and have gone to all the nice restaurants, and have the clothes and have the freedom to live my life the way I want it without having sugaring. And I owe those men a lot for allowing me to get to this point.
There's no way that I could have.
An apartment of my own, yeah, and be you know, and not have a credit card and lots of debt and things like that. Like, Yeah, I owe them a lot. And I did what you know, I had to do in a way that.
Was enjoyable exactly. You've enjoyed it so Yeah, to get by really.
Yeah, it's a very expensive time to your life.
Yeah, I tell you so. My rent just went up five hundred.
Yeah, what are the what are the websites called?
Yeah, interest rates have gone from like your two point zero to like seven points.
No.
If you can make money anyway in this day and age, I suggest going going for it. You can put yourself ahead of everyone else in a way that you feel comfortable doing. Yeah, there's no judgment there.
And like something that's interesting is like you're speaking to all these people who are super successful, very business minded, and like you obviously have this entrepreneurial kind of bone in your body. Now you've just started your own podcasts, you have your own stuff going on, so it's like, yeah.
Yeah, one hundred percent. And I have plans and visions for where I want Suka to go, and I've built that with the advice and the guidance from people who have done it and failed and done it and turned it into multimillion dollar success stories. And you know, so I think that I am in a really privileged position where I get to have that advice for free.
So you you go through the apps in that would you ever think about opening your own like not like business escort business, but like your own place where you are in charge of like the sugar things and you arrange the dates for different girls, and that you could make some money doing that.
I mean, I've thought about it.
I've made a lot of friends during like the last few the last oh gosh.
How long has it been?
Then?
Can someone do math?
Seven years years being on the site, because sometimes you you know, I'm baby I thought, like I've thought about it, but I do know someone who does do that, and it's a lot of time to organize those states. To be honest, like I said earlier, it's just not something that I want to do for the rest of my life because I have a different calling and it's just very time consuming, like you're just on on the app, like texting backwards and forwards. Some people are genuine, some
people are not genuine. Some people are just damn right disrespectful or low balling, you know. So say you say this is the amount, then they come back with something that's less than half, and you just say, I'm not an item at the market that you can bargain for.
Yeah, don't bad for me.
Absolutely not Campbwell market, don't low ball me.
I love Campbell Bart.
It's amazing there. And everyone like a one hundred and.
Fifty dollars shirt, so I said, like ten bucks and some guy goes five and I'm like, mate, that's been worn once.
Don't get me started. Don't started on is going to charity as well?
I've opened.
I just Okay, Beck, we have so much more to talk to you about, and we're going to talk to you about all of that after the break.
So, Beck, you told us before about how you've starved your new podcast, Suker, do you want to tell us a little bit about that, Yeah.
For sure.
So I mean, like I said earlier, Suka, it's Sanskrit for a person's blissa is joy in happiness, and I chose succer because that's what I feel that every person on this planet deserves to feel. And how often are you properly one hundred percent truly authentically yourself and happy
in that space? So that's where I've landed on that name, and essentially I've started the podcast because that's that's step one really where I just share my knowledge and hope for everyone to find that space and feel comfortable in that space. And yeah, I just want to share my knowledge in how to do life, you know, because life is hard to navigate and not everyone can afford therapy.
But I've been there and I've done it, and I am so addicted and I'm obsessed with wellness and finding who you are and living a good and happy life. So I just wanted to create a platform for that.
Well, speaking of living a good and healthy, happy life, I saw that you have recently started a sobriety journey, which was super interesting to Matt and I because we did an episode and we were talking about, like, you know, we feel like we've just been binge drinking through our whole twenties, Like what memories do we have where we're not piss I could on.
That all the time. Every memory I have is also pissed you.
So fucking yeah.
Yeah, And we had like a massive outreach from our audience and everyone was like, yeah, I can relate. Like Australian culture is so much based around drinking and binge drinking, and you know, it would be super interesting just to hear how you got to this place where you decided to be sober.
Yeah, totally. I think it's a great topic because I think that we live in a society and a climate and culture that is toxic and you know, it's full of you know, alcohol is poison.
It is you know.
And I was always like the party girl, the fun one. If there was like a party or an event, Beck had to be there. Beck hat to be front and center, and Beck had to be the life of the party. And so I was going out every weekend and then you know, paying for it the next day. Obviously, you know, hangovers get worse as you get old, suspending every Sunday, just sort of glued to the couch and as well with you know, sugar babying as well.
Going on those dates, there's always whatever.
Drink you want, whatever you want, it's there, so there's always unlimited champagne, cocktails, whatever, and you know, so you would drink a lot on those dates, and you might drink after a stressful date work. And I found myself in this habit where I was drinking nearly every day and I just got to a point where I just couldn't do it anymore. And I just felt every single Sunday I like hate myself. Why did I drink so much? Like I'm just wasting my day away here on the couch.
Suppresses you, Yeah, I said that the other day and I was like, this suppresses you. I want to stop drinking as much as I do. Yeah, it stopped your creative juice is flowing and.
All that stuff. Yeah, it does.
So it's the only drug really that we know of that can that is actually a depressant. You're better off getting on the bags. It's not going to rob you as much serotonin in your mind, and it is the alcohol that makes you super depressed. And I just found myself at a pointment I was like, Okay, well, I'm going to these like therapy sessions try and get you know, less depressed in my life. And you know, I'm taking anti anxiety medications. We also know that alcohol can increase
your anxiety. So I was like, well, hang on just a second. How can I be taking these methods to not feel this way, but then almost every day fuel myself with the poison that's making me feel that way. It seems very counterproductive. And I just went, you know what, I need to learn to love myself enough to do this for myself and do what's right for my body and just say no more. Because moderating just was and it wasn't for me. I could not moderate my drinking.
How long have you been so before five and a half months?
I think it's like one hundred and sixty.
When you go out, do you think people judge you on it? Because I know last night I had a work breakup and I wasn't drinking. I'm trying to stay away from drinking unless like it's I don't know if I pick and choose, you know, I'm trying to weave off at everywhere, as in like a month ago, I would just drunk at every event I go to, and people like, Oh, don't be like that, like.
It's a breakup.
Yeah.
I hate that sort of mentality as well. I'm just shut the fuck up. I'm twenty seven. If I don't want to drink, I don't want to drink.
Yeah.
Really do you find that people judge you in that when you do?
Yeah?
I think you put it really well when you said peer pressure, right, like people do try and like.
Press you like and people so shocked right now, what do you.
Mean, why is it their business? Yeah, I've ever pear pressured anyone into drinking.
I'm just it's just a cultural normal. It is culture like it's abnormal to not be drinking. Yeah, that's why people can't wrap there because they're like, does that mean you're not going to have fun?
Does that mean you're leaving early? Like all of these things?
And that was, Yeah, that was a super big worry that I had going into my sobriety journey, Like I'm not going to be the fun one anymore. No one's gonna want to hang around me. But you know, I read this really good post the other day that said alcohol is the only drug that you're the one that's not normal if you don't do it, you know, like if you were if it was any other drug or any other toxic substance, people wouldn't judge you.
People wouldn't try and make you do it right.
People are gonna be like, here, you better take some methamphetamines, like you do you know what I mean?
But you know, it's just society. And I think that people.
Yeah, counter, you know, yeah, goodbye.
Government's making all that cash money on the tags, yeah you goodbye?
Like how the drugs, I'm sure people, But.
Yeah, I think I truly believe that there will be a time in the future well where alcohol will be looked back upon in the same way that sirets are, like there was a time where everyone's smoking inside that was just the cool, government supported thing to do because they were making bank You're right, and I think that people are starting to clock on now that it's just not good for us. It's making society sick.
You know. I think, oh gosh, I can't remember.
I think it was like fifty percent of domestic violence and domestic violence related deaths are associated with alcohol, Like, you have a fifty to fifty percent chance that if someone was murdered, they were drunk or intoxicated at the time. Like, can we speak a little bit louder about how much of a problem this is?
Absolutely?
So yeah, well, yeah, a lot of people do get angry or make them more angry when they drink.
So yeah, it triggers you, well, like things that maybe you like haven't like spoken about, or things that you're burying.
It brings it to the surface.
When you're drunk. Right, it's scary.
Yeah. Yeah.
The problem with alcohol, right is it is a substance, and this is why we love it so much. It's a substance that releases your care free you know, inhibition lubric so it just stops you from caring. And they did a study where people who are intoxicated are still very aware of what they're doing, but the difference is
they just don't care anymore. So, you know, if someone gets to a point where they are angry and they do lash out at somebody, They're angry about so many different things in their life and then suddenly they've got this substance in them that is making them not care about any any consequences thank you, or repercussions that might happen, and so they do let it out be because it's inside them anyway, and it's scary.
That someone's like anger and so many different things that can be affecting someone can be just targeted into one human being, or can like lash out at someone for a certain thing. I mean, without both of our excess, we've had like toxic fights and they've been alcohol field last relationship broke up in a very alcohol field way. I mean it was gonna happen, but.
I mean, yeah, alcohol doesn't.
Yeah, I want to try to stop drinking as much as I do, as often as I do, because like you said before, like when you're going on the dates and that would go to like events and there's obviously free champagne, there's free drinks as a bar tab, and it's like your natural being to be like, all right, let's take as much as I can to drink for freefe why not? But then I so like even last night, I was like, nah, I don't need to to.
Mention the calories.
We're going down all these mental health I got to mention the calories.
Yeah, yes, someone's coming out, I've got the galleries.
Yeah, does it make it difficult with sugaring to not drink, because obviously it would probably feel a little more comfortable if you are in a state of I don't care.
One hundred percent. Yeah, it does. It does because you're fully present and you're fully aware of your thoughts and you can't just drink that juice that makes your inhibitions go away, make you not care.
Right, you're there and you care.
But I mean, I think I've been really lucky. So the current person that they have an arrangement with, and I you know, I'm not greedy, and I am time poor. I don't have the need to go and have any other arrangements going, you know, uncomfortable where I am. But he actually has a couple of health issues and he's been trying to get sober on and off for some time now. And then when we met, he took me out for dinner and we were talking abouts the table and said, what would you like to drink?
I said, oh, I don't drink, and he said what I said, I don't drink and he.
Goes fabulous, and he was so happy. And so now he's been like a month and a half sober. I think, yeah, it's been really rewarding to help him get to that point, just to help get his health in check. And yeah, he's super appreciative of me, and he genuinely says like, if it wasn't for you, then there's no way that I'd be able to get sober. And now I'm just super passionate about that too, because sometimes people just need
support and they need a buddy. You know, even in AA right, if you go to Alcohol Anonymous, then you get a sponsor. If you go to the gym to stay accountable, you might get a personal trainer or get a gym buddy, you know. So people do they need
a support person. And that's a big part of Super as well, is you know, to provide that platform where people can feel supported because we have you know, say in the first episode we'll talk about a topic, if that topic is relatable to an alcoholic event or something like that, then we have the last part of the episode is Super Sober, where we'll talk about that topic
in relation to alcohol. So it's just that public platform that allows people to come and feel like they fit into a connection and be really nice to start sobriety Groups for women is something that I'm really passionate about because I've been to an AA meeting. So I thought, Okay, I want to quit alcohol. None of my friends want to quit, but I have this problem, like this toxic lifestyle that I needed to get rid of. How we're
going to do it? So I went to an AA meeting and I wanted to It was so shit.
It was.
Yeah, I mean, don't get me wrong. AA is a really great space and it's helped.
A lot of people.
But is anything the movie It's exactly like the movie.
Imagine being pretty Gream.
It was very groom. It was in a.
Church hall and characters.
Yeah, some characters and a lot of them are there because you know, they drank their house and their family away. They were, you know, wake up and have vodka for breakfast. And I'm really lucky I've never fallen into that. But I'm sitting around Everyone's like, Hi, my name's Mad and I'm an alcoholic, and I just don't feel comfortable using that term or that word. I don't feel that I was an alcoholic, although I'm sure some people might label
it as that. Any Apparently, statistically, any more than nine units of alcohol per week any more than four units that time. Yeah, I know, I know, if you want to get into technicality. Yeah, so the AA space was just a little bit grim, and it would just be nice to create a space of like empowering each other to support and live a more authentic and healthy live.
And good on you for doing that with your podcast. It's amazing and it's great to like have that space and really like relate lots of different issues to alcohol because alcohol affects so many parts of our lives totally.
I think you know, if you're happy, you drink, right, you're celebrating, you drink. You just recently go engage, right, just like yeah.
Share pain.
But then also if you're sad, you drink, if you're anxious to drink, like, it's just it's everywhere.
I was just thinking about it when you're saying that literally before as you're talking, and I was in my head. I was thinking about like drinking at the wedding this weekend that I've got, and I was like, I was like, well, maybe I don't drink as much of it. I was like, but you're celebrating one of my best mate's weddings, And I was like it sort of goes hand in hand, doesn't it, Like you know what I mean.
Like, I think I've just got to a point where I'm like I can do a balance, Like I can go celebrate someone's wedding and I can have like fight four or five drinks, not getting to nine, four or five drinks and like have the best time. Ever. It's when I go past five that shit starts to get sloppy, triggering, anxious, all of yea of emotions, and like, I feel like we can find a.
Balance, find a balance.
Yeah, well I was thinking then as well. Another point was you said that you drink if you're sad or depressed and the truth, But no, I don't. The other day, like after the week I've had, I need to have a drink, And I was like, that's literally not my first thought, Like after the week I've had, I want to go like gym or like just watch a movie and chill out. I don't associate drinking with sad thoughts and depression.
I don't know.
I think I feel the same way. But then if I'm going through like a toxic breakup, I turned to alcohol food for thought, Food for thought.
But it's different for everybody.
Right, this is true.
Yeah, one size fits all. Everybody's experience is different.
Absolutely, But thank you so much for coming into the studio so much pleasure, thank you for being so open, thank you for educating us. I feel like I've just seen schooled and like I'm so like happy.
It's been great to have you on.
Thank you.
We've been wanting to just walk about this topic for a while now, and we're happy we got you as our guest to talk about it.
You're very insightful and good luck on your podcast. Thanks guy, Thank you.