Do you F**K on a first date?

I've definitely dated, my fast share.

Of douchebags, my time just get tingling, fling my balls.

Oh I'm spiraling. Oh my God, tell us.

Everything flame emojis left, right, and center.

Matt loves a bit of God and.

I need to affect you back. I really need you with that.

I know I'm jealous. I'm the most jealous person ever.

Relationships like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.

Hisity dot com for you.

I'll be a bloody single and alone with ten cats for the rest of my life.

Lie Lie.

On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we are talking about first dates and some of the crazy ones we have been on.

We know they can be scary awkward, but we've got you covered. Stay tuned.

Where's Your Head At is.

A podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more. Hey Matt, Hey, I know, how are you going.

I'm going well today? How are you?

I'm good? So the last time we chatted, you said you were going to have the chat is your man? How does that go. I mean, you're not crying and you're laughing, so could sign unless that's a nervous laugh. Wow, she just keeps laughing.

Well, since we last spoke, I was telling you how I was in a bit of a situationship, how nothing was really defined, and you basically said to me that I should have that conversation. But before I even had the chance to have that conversation, he had the conversation.

No way, So he was probably in the same boat as you, and he wanted to have the chat with you. Yeah, felt like in the same place.

Yeah.

So how it kind of came about was he listened to our first episode of Where's your Head Up where we talk about situationships, and he basically said to me, I kind of asked him about the podcast, and I was like, is there anything that you weren't okay with or things that you were worried about that I said during our podcast because obviously we're being very open and honest and raw. And he was like, no, Like the podcast is great, being supportive.

I love that.

Tick tick yeah, double tick.

He basically said to me, I just want to make sure that you would have that chat with me if you wanted to progress things or move things further, because I basically said in our episode that I would be too scared to have that chat.

So was that him initiating it then?

Yeah, smooth, yeah. And then I was kind of like, well, I don't think I would initiate that chat with you.

And then he was like, well, do you want to be exclusive with me?

Was all exciting, and then I was like, yeah, like I would, I would love to be exclusive with you.

And then we both got a little bit.

So where set the scene? Where are you?

So we're basically going on a date at dinner date and he came to mind first to have a wine.

So you're exclusive with your man.

It's so funny. I call him my man. It's so weird that yes. Continue.

The big question here is have you deleted your dating apps?

Yeah?

Yeah, so it's going to the next stages now.

I mean yeah, I think so it's moving in the right direction. I'm really happy.

Congratulations, I'm happy for you. It's good to see you all. Love duf and smiling.

Love is the strong. But yeah, I'm really happy.

Yes, Okay, enough about me, because I'm feeling a bit uncomfortable and stressed. Tell me about your love life, because the little Bertie told me that you went on an extra session first date recently.

Well, yeah, how topical is that that I went on a first date on the weekend. Let's put it this way, as far as first dates go, it was. It was amazing. So we went and got a cocktail and we went for a walk around the town. There's a big thing I look for, and it's energy in a partner. Now, I've been in relationships with the energy did not make me feel comfortable the whole time I was on edge

It was magical. Wow.

Yeah, So you just felt really comfortable in her presence, and you guys just clicked.

We just clicked so much to the point that that was Saturday at two o'clock and I didn't leave with her till like Monday.

So how was how many days? Does that make it?

That you were with it for forty eight hours?

So since the first date you didn't leave her side for forty eight hours?

Did she feel the same way? Was she like, can this guy leave already? I don't want to be rude.

It was a couple of times where I was like, like, should we leave, and she's like, no, just keep hanging out, and just kept hanging out. And then Tuesday I saw her again, and this is really.

Cute, Matt.

I can tell that you're really happy. And I said it to you earlier and I'm going to say it again. I feel like your energy is so positive, you're so happy, you're seeing the world through a new.

Less I am. I honestly am. I've seen everything completely different. She's really cool, Like we just get along. I'm actually yeah, I don't even know what to say. I'm getting speechless for the first time.

Question when did you guys actually start talking before you went on the first day?

So this is a real interesting one. Actually, she I don't remember exactly, but I messaged her six years ago.

So this is a slow burn.

Yeah, I'm message her in twenty fifteen. I'm not sure if I met her through Instagram or through a dating app, but our messages on Instagram go back to twenty fifteen.

Wow.

Yeah, and then she got into a long term relationship and I'd just sling a reaction here and there. I'd see a post with their boyfriend. So I was like, ah, you know, I won't you know, respectful, be respectful. I won't pursue anything. And then obviously, naturally you start seeing stories and if someone breaks up with someone, their stories and their Instagram feed changes.

It does there's a ship.

There's a shit everyone can pick up when that happens. And I I shot her a message and I said, hey, are you single? And she said, yeah, I am. We're in We're in the awkward stages of like when you first broke up with the long term yeah. And I said, hey, I said, look, well that happens I know firsthand. I was like, that happens to a lot of us. I said, shoot me a message when you're ready to get a drink.

And then I'll be waiting with.

And then she shot me a message. She's like, I'm ready to get that drink now.

And then you, guys, were not the best say you've ever been on?

Yes, definitely the first?

Do you think and then this is probably way too premature, but do you think she's the one because I've never seen you like this before, Matt, Like ever, Look, it's.

A massive call issue. The one I want to be as honest as possible on this podcast, but I need to play it cool at the time.

He doesn't want to dig his own great reckon.

She's going to listen to this and if she hears me going, she's the one. Yeah.

Just so we're just going to pause that question and we'll come back to you guys in a few episodes with the X.

I don't want to scare her away. Like, imagine me if I scare away on the next episode. Yeah, well there'd be tears.

Yeah, that will be inconsolable if this doesn't work out. So let's all say a small prayer tonight at bed from Matt and the future of his mental health in.

The relationship.

Work out.

Okay, So dating is stressful and challenging at the best of times, and it's a bit of a mine field out there. So we're giving you our doo's and don'ts to make sure you nail your first date.

All right. So I've got a list of the don'ts.

I'm excited.

I've started off with one that I think is very big and very important. Is and I know I'm guilty of it. I know a lot of people that I've been on dates with this don't talk about your ex.

Do not talk about your ax.

That is a that's a no no, and that you're already giving yourself a red flag exactly.

Another one is don't let them know that you've stalked them on social media. So don't sit there and be like, oh, yeah, was that from your trip in Italy in.

Two thousand and seven?

Yeah, and they'll be like, wait, how do you know that? So just don't let them know. Obviously we all do it. Yeah, it's what we do these days, but just don't let them know because that can come across a bit intimidating.

Play it a bit cool. Don't be too intense.

Ask them like, if you know that they've been to Italy, then say have you been to Europe? And then you can be you know, that's a leading question and hopefully they'll tell you about that, and then in the future that you can talk about their two thousand and seven Italy trips, hopefully.

Everything they did. Don't check your phone, so I think that you should sit your phone and do not disturb upright, because I think a red flag early is if someone sits their phone over the other way, it means they've got something to hide. So what I actually is, I like to put my phone face up, sit on the table, but have it on, do not disturb, so none of the nothing comes.

On, none, none of the notifications are popping out.

And I'm not tempted to have a look.

I mean, I just think, put your phone away. I just think, don't even have it on the table. Everyone's different, but it's just a distraction. And I think it's important on a first date to show that person you're giving them your full.

Attention divided attention.

Yeah, like I'm here, We're on a day, it's going for an hour and here I am.

Let's see how we.

Go, all right, And this one, this one can give you the ick real quick. Like if I see this, I'm off and straight away. I can't run quick enough. It's don't be rude to the staff.

Deal breaker.

Like, yeah, I've seen some people be rude to the staff and I'm just straight off them.

It cringes me out to my call. It's just if you like treat people the way you want to be treated.

Yeah, there's no need to show off and be rude to them, and like it's not going to get you anywhere. And it's like it's going to turn the other person off.

It's ugly and it's unattractive.

You mentioned it before. Don't come on too strong. Yeah, so that means don't tell him you love them. Don't tell him like I'm going to put a ring on you, on you on your finger. Yeah, don't tell them.

Don't do it. Don't do it. Matts.

Matt's renowned for coming on way too strong.

Zero to one hundred.

Baby, we've all been there, And go to somewhere where you're not going to bump into people that you know as.

Well, and somewhere that you feel comfortable totally. So don't go somewhere that's out of your price range, or don't go somewhere where, like say, it's just not who you are. Like, go somewhere that you feel comfortable in and that you're going to make them feel good. Yeap. Don't swear. That's I think that's a big one, and I think we're going to turn off. And when someone's just swearing heaps.

Oh god, I don't have that. I not not like badly, sir, but I might.

Like I'm going to finish on this one. I think it's very important. Don't worry if they like you worry if you like them.

Amen, that is a huge one.

We go on first dates and I think we're so concerned about them liking us and we don't even know if we even like them, Like, who cares if they like us?

If we aren't even sure about them?

Yeah, Now, if the date is going really well, would you sleep with someone after a first date?

Oh, this is a genuine question.

Well, like when do I not say them after a No?

I would, and I would sleep with the Master a first date. Yes, but I have I have in the past had a little like thought like I don't want them to think I'm just sleeping with them for like a one night stand if it has gone really well. Okay, so there's that thought does cross my mind. But if they just want it to be a one night stand, they just want it to be a one night stand. I mean, I can't argue that I can try my hardest the next next time to win them back for

I mean, look, I obviously don't want to sleep with everyone who I go on a first date with to start with, I don't really have one night stands. So yeah, I guess I just developed my little five date rule poly and I think it's it's not for them, it's more for myself. Like I, five dates is a lot, five days is a lot, but I think for me, I put a lot of emphasis on having sex with someone, Like I wouldn't really have sex with someone unless I

It is common to that, and I like I've met a lot of girls to do the three date.

Rule, how would you go with with going through the five date rule process?

Date, they'd be quick dates. Each would be something quick.

Look that would be like, Okay, so we've just gone to dinner, I'm actually going to pick you up in the morning for breakfast. We have a lunch date for a day, and I've actually booked a movie date for seven pm.

Ready. No. Look, if the girl, like if I was vibing her a lot and she was saying, I would happily do five dates. That's that's what she wants to do, I'm more than happy to.

Something that definitely crosses my mind as a woman going on like dates with guys, and I feel like a lot of guys I've dated are a bit fuck boy. Five is that men kind of place women they go on dates with into two categories. So there's the fun category and then there's the WiFi category.

Would you agree with that?

H I think that in this day and age, we're all guilty of doing this. Yeah. I think men women and I think you know pretty early into a date what category are going to put them in. But I believed there's a third category as well, So it can either be like fun YEP or Wi Fi relationship or you're just not interested in friend zone zone.

Yeah.

Yeah, so and I think really early on you would know what they're going to be in.

Yeah, And there's nothing wrong with getting that feeling and following that intuition that you feel and going with it.

But yeah, I.

Think and people leave each category, do you.

Think you've miscategorized them?

Yeah, so you've miscategorized them. She said, Oh, I want this one for fun, and then you're like, hang on, this could be my future wife my future hasn't.

I mean, I don't think I've ever miscategorized someone.

Have you my ex? I've slept with her for four years and then so I had her in that category and then I realized, hang on, like she's fucking like I like this girl. Wow.

So you were friends with benefits with your ex for four years and then you decided that you had made a mistake.

Yeah, well I just saw it from a different light with fresh eyes, and I was like, hang on, like.

I'm obsessed with Yeah.

Cool, you're giving me what I want, you know what I mean? Like, you're like you're taking a lot of boxes.

And then you made it official after that long?

Yeah, after four years?

Yeah, wow, I did not know that.

Yeah, it was a decent amount of time. So from eighteen to twenty two.

Is that like a one off? Because I haven't really heard many stories like that that long.

Yeah, I've never heard it either. Yeah.

Wow.

So forty one percent of people say that they take two to three minutes to decide if they want a second date.

Wow, that's really quick.

That's quick, isn't it.

How long do you think it takes you?

If I'm being really honest with myself, I think I know quite quickly. So I would tend to agree with that stat.

Yeah, in that two to three minutes, I mean.

Maybe a little bit longer. I definitely would give people the benefit of the doubt. And I think people definitely can surprise you. But for me, I think on a first date, I'm picking up on someone's energy. If I'm attracted to them, If I can feel their energy back and I can feel that they're attracted to me, very important.

It's just not there.

It's not there.

Sometimes that spark and energy just isn't there and there's nothing you can do about it. How long would you say, I'd.

Give it the whole time and when I leave and how they make me feel afterwards.

Okay, so you wait for the dew of the date to make a decision.

Yeah, and then more how I feel after them, like when I leave and I'm like, well, how is that? And I reflect back on it. Yeah, because I think it's way too early to decide in that, like when you're there with them and there's like stuff going on, you're talking about stuff. You're like, there's like like you say, if as at a restaurant, there's people like talking around you, there's like waiters and all that. I think it's way too early. But look, I know early on if I'm

Yeah, I mean, look, it's definitely you have to keep an open mind throughout the whole day.

So I totally agree with that.

I think you can't just write someone off too soon, but I think there's a gut feeling where you deep down. Probably no, if you really are intuitive and are listening to that.

Look, there's a lot of terrible first date stories out there. I think we've both got a couple. So what is your most horrific one?

Okay, look, I'm not going to say it's my most horrific first date, but it's definitely the strangest.

First date I've ever been on. Let's start there.

So basically, I was probably eighteen, fresh eighteen.

I was at a club. I met this guy.

He was normal, he was my type, had long hair, he was a bit of a vibe. We made out on the dance floor, and then I didn't see him for like six or seven years. He just kind of disappeared off the face of the planet. Anyway, he just disappeared.

I didn't know where he went.

Yeah, it was fine because who cares, Like I was, you know what I mean, doing my thing. She was obviously doing his thing and whatever. But he did have Instagram and we did follow each other, and then one day he just started posting photos of himself in the middle of Bali, in the middle of nowhere, and he kind of had become this real hippie looking guy, like his shoulder length long hair was down to his you know, nipples, had long hair, he had.

A beard, like he had gone full hippie vibes.

Did you were you into that?

I mean he was a good looking guy, but was like into it, Like maybe not, but you know, he was still cool.

Whatever it is, what it is.

And then he yeah, he started posting photos in this village that he had then all of a sudden created or it was a little commune with five other people there.

All of them were women. There was a child there.

Wait, what.

Are you following the story? Okay, wait for it.

Anyway, I could a random Instagram message from this guy seven years later and he's like, hey, we should catch up. And I was like recently broken up from my ex boyfriend of six and a half years. That was quite soon after, and I was like, I haven't been on a date in a long time.

I'm just gonna.

Go is this your first date?

Then out of a out of my long term relationship. Oh no, buck laugh, it's about to.

Get wire anyway.

So he was like, let's, you know, do a beach walk and I was like, sure, sounds great. I get there and he's just totally different and he starts telling me about this life he's built in Bali and the more he's telling me, the more I'm thinking this is sounding a bit like a cult. So I have flat out asked him. I was like, what, so flat out asked him. I was like, wait, is this a cult?

I am an open person.

I'm going to listen to what you have to say and I'm going to take it on board, and then I'm going to make my own decision. Anyway, He's a really sweet guy. So we started our beach walk, and even before we.

Had started walking.

He basically said to me, Hey, do you mind if I constantly shoulder to shoulder with you or touch you.

When I was.

Growing up, my mother didn't nurture me. So now as an adult, I need constant nurturing. And what everyone in my community community cult does So they're just constantly touching and like you would probably love it, to be honest, constant affection.

So where is this guy right now? What's Instagram handle? Anyway?

Then he was like we kind of like walked to the beach shoulder to shoulder. He was like, let's do some breathing exercises together and like breathe in each other's energy. I was like sure, like that's fun, Like you know, I like to meditate, So I was like, you know, I'm open to this. Whatever. Then he asked me after the beach walk if I'd like to come back to his house and we could maybe.

Watch a movie.

What was the movie?

It was like David Attenborough.

Some brainwashing one try to get trying.

To get me in, but no, so I was like, yeah, sure, like we can go back to yours.

David adambur is good.

I mean, look, David Addamburoh's good. But it's not what you think when you're gonna go watch a movie with someone. So when we first arrive at his house, he asked me if I want a glass of.

Water, and I was like, yeah, sure.

So he basically has a box of spring water, he palls it into the glass, and then he gets a secondary glass and starts.

How do I describe this?

He's basically putting the glass of full water up in the sky, tipping it down into the gas the empty glass, and repeating that motion. So he's creating the He's creating the effect of a waterfall. Because I want I asked him.

I was like, so, what are you doing with my water?

I just wanted a glass of water, nothing too exciting, And he basically explained to me that he only drinks water from the fountain in his community where he lives in rural Bali, and so therefore he wanted to make sure that the water that he was giving me was water in motion. And look, that was kind of the first red flag where I was thinking.

That was the first red flag.

Maybe I was a bit blinded.

By his beautiful long hair and tan skin from being in the Barlei jungle. Fair enough, and I mean look, the date did get strange some of the things that he was saying, which is very strange, very intense. He was asking me to move to Bali, to this cult like.

Community with him.

But then the weirdest thing was is that at the end of the date, when I was about to leave, he wanted to kiss me. He asked me, Hey, can I kiss you? And I was just like, oh, might as well. I'm probably never gonna see this guy again, but sure, why not. Anyway, the kissing style that he did was so wild, Like I like to kiss people who are good kissing. We've had this conversation, like the

Yep, that's important.

It's important. This guy was like, I don't even know what he was doing. He was like poking.

His tongue in and out like rapid fire, but not like in a smooth, circular, relaxing motion. It was very aggressive. And then I asked him, which is maybe rude, but I was like, what type of kissing style is this? And he was like, oh, this is what everyone in the community. Does this is the type of kissing that we all do?

Anyway, it was very strange used to when he moved moved into the jungle.

And the guy basically was trying to recruit me into his cult. Long story short, and look, it was the strange estate that I've ever been on.

I know, that's a lot to take it.

It's a lot for me to relive and process and tell again.

I have so many questions. I don't even know where to begin. I would never have gone back to the house.

I was just interested.

Curiosity killed the cat.

Curiosity definitely killed the cat, even on the beach walks. Some of the things that he was saying were very wild. He was clearly the leader of the cult. So I mean, I was just interested to see and you know what, I wasn't disappointed. It was. It was a crazy, crazy hour of my life. Matt speechless.

Did you ever consider going to Bali?

I actually was in Bali like a year later, and I thought about potentially going there for like a night or two, just to see what it was like, because I'm all about having new and fun experiences.

But then a part of me was just like no.

Anna, just no tell me about your strange estate though, Well, strangers are most horrific.

What do you want to what do you want to share?

I mean, I've had a lot of horrific dates where where you meet up with soon and like they just can't hold a conversation and it's just boring, like you're talking to them. I remember one we organized a movie after dinner. Yeah, and I really wanted to watch that movie, and I'd bought the tickets beforehand, and I knew well into like well into dinner, I was like, I can't

But you can talk to a brick wall.

No, she was just so gland and boring. I just I just was just like, oh my god, was great alien. It's great. One of the new ones. But another strange date that I took a girl on. She probably tells a story it was, it's strange. I said, all right, I'll pick you up, and I I borrowed one of my dad's company's work utes and I had to do a little bit of running around before the date with her.

Yeah, no, you did it chill.

Two birds with one stone before dinner. So I had a bit of furniture I needed to pick up.

So nah, she's.

Telling her friends about her worst date ever, and it's that day right there.

I went on a first day and this guy took me to do some errands.

So we went, we went and picked up and this is hilarious. So we went and picked up like, I've got this like wardrobe off gum Tree and they left it out the front of their house and so we pull up in the U and she's lifted onto the back of the U. Then we went and picked off a wine rack, and then we went to dinner.

God, what did she say? Was she like cool about it?

Yeah, she was just like yeah cool.

I probably actd cool about it too.

It's not like she's going to be like, no, we're not doing this, So she was probably in her head like, oh my god.

I dated it for a couple of months afterwards.

So he didn't do too bad.

I didn't do too bad.

So we've come up with a list to make first dates less awkward and way more chill.

Okay. So the first one is just start the date with a smile and a hug.

That's very important. So if you're meeting someone and you're walking up to him, there's nothing less intimidating than someone that's smiling. And like we said earlier, that touch established that touch earlier. So that hug has established that touch, and it will make things less awkward down the.

Track, breaking the barrier, you're making things comfortable.

It's a win win, yep. Okay.

The next one is prepare at least one story. So if worse comes to worst and you literally are looking at that person like you were looking when like you were sitting outside of the movies for thirty minutes and had nothing to say, you pull out your best pre prepared story and give it to them straight.

Do you have one task? What yours is?

I mean, I.

Think travels all go to one of mine. I would just yeah, I'd talk about where the next place I want to visit is, so I do.

Travel as well, so then I can somehow work into it that I was an international model that in.

Of course you do. How they not surprised?

Okay, And the next one is talk about surroundings with them so if you've got nothing to talk about, talk about the waiter, talk about the weather, talk about the girl in the distance.

Who just fell over.

People watch it, people watch it.

We thought this one was a cute one. If you like them, give them a non physical compliment closer to the end of the day, right, Yes.

That's a big one because obviously everyone on a first date they go off looks and that, so it'd be nice to give them one like hey, I really like that story, or hey, like you were really smart or something like that, you know, just something that makes them feel really warm and wholesome inside.

Yeah, And I think nothing beats a non physical compliment. So if someone said to me, oh my god, you're so smart, I'm so impressed, or hey, Matt, you're really funny, Like I can't believe how funny you are.

I actually do get that a lot. In the first No, I'll tell you something, I'll tell.

You I telling you money, I was saying, hypothetically seeking, and you've somehow taken that compliment on board.

Unbelievable, Okay.

And then the last one we said is just laugh and enjoy the day, Like if you're going on a date with someone you know that you're kind of giving up an hour of your time. If you get there and you're kind of like, I'm not really into them. You know what, you can still have a dream with this person, you make friends with them. You can still make friends with them, you can have a laugh with them. Just commit to the hour, have a good time, and

You can use it as training for your.

Next first day exactually right, especially if you don't like them, then you can.

You can use it as you can try some really left or field like jokes. Jokes does different tactics on how to make a first date work. All right, and so the date's gone, Well, you've done all the dudes and all the don'ts, you've left, now you've had a first kiss. How long till you text them?

I mean, I don't know if this is a little bit toxic, but I wouldn't really message your guy after a first date.

I always wait for them to text me.

Hell really hard to get then.

I mean, I guess I just kind of see it.

Like, but can't you see there waiting for him to tear you and they're not.

No.

I go on the first date and then I just move on with life and I'm like, if they want to talk to me, I'm going to hear from them, and if not, then I won't And I just sleep easy at night knowing that whatever is meant to be will be.

Really, I find it so attractive when a girl messaged you first after a first date. Do yeah, After my first date on the weekend, I got it wrong. After my first date on the week I don't know if you call it a first date. I have my three day affair. Yeah, she messaged me like after half an hour after I left, And I found that so attractive.

Wow.

Yeah, so you were like, yes, this is like a double tick.

Yeah, I was in another extra tick, but I take I feel the girl and like, it was a nice date. I'll message her the next day. Yeah, even message I hope you got home safe something like that. Yeah.

Yeah, Like it's not usually a problem.

I feel like I find it really attractive when a date finishes and a guide messages me and says, hey, I had a really good time, Like I'd love to see you again. And then from that moment on all I this same. Yeah, I would love to or just great meeting you, but I see you guys.

Just a friend all right, guys, So that's all we've got time for on this episode. Hopefully those does and dotes help you when you're on your next first date.

Yeah, hopefully you smash those first dates.

We want to hear all about them, so make sure you let us know how they go at Where's your Head at?

Pod?

Also, we would love it if you guys would give us a review. It really means a lot to us. We're a small podcast and those reviews go such a long way.

They're very important to us. We like to hear what you guys like and what you don't like.

So what's on our next episode, Matt.

We are discussing toxic relationships, so we're getting to the bottom. Are weither toxic one or are they?

Yeah?

And it's going to be interesting, so make sure you stay tuned. We're going to be asking you, guys some very very interesting questions on our Instagram page, so make sure you're following that and we will see you next time.

Bye bye,