Dating in 2021 is F**KD

I've definitely dated my fair share of douchebags.

My time.

I just get tingling, healing my balls.

Oh I'm spiraling. Oh my God, tell us everything.

Flame emojis cleft right center.

Matt loves a bit of God and I need affection back.

I really need you with that.

I know I'm jealous. I'm the most jealous person ever.

Relationships like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably.

Shit hisity dot com for you. I'll be a bloody single and alone with ten cats for the rest of my life.

Lie.

Hey, guys, it's Ana and Matt here.

And on today's episode, we're talking about how fucked it is to date.

In twenty twenty one, stay tuned.

Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for last gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more.

Okay, how do we know each other?

So we did a couple of photo shoots together back in the day. So the first time we met was on the Maya Catwalk.

The Maya Catwalk.

Yeah, in two thousand and sixteen.

I think I was twenty one and you were twenty sixteen.

That makes me nineteen a baby. So I was a baby?

Yeah, baby, I remember your You were opposite me, like our diressing things were opposite each other.

How do you remember that?

I just remember that, God, this girl's cute.

And because we all get naked in Chames, so you're probably herving on me, right.

I may have quart a glance.

It doesn't even surprise.

Yeah, I remember that we were chatting in the line before we walked out one time as well.

Yeah, and then while you slid into the DMS.

Was it not? I think it was not like straight away, I think a little bit after.

To give it some time, some time, let's start by saying that I'm like a hopeless romantic. I love love, I want the fairy tale, I want the Prince Charming.

And what would we say about you?

Well, I think that I've come out of a situation relationship where I thought I wanted that, but it just ended up being way too toxic and way too draining on my soul my heart.

So right now I'm just exploring just what Matt, exploring my options and seeing what's out there, I guess.

So does that make you a bit of a fuck boy.

Well, it depends. It's about perspective, isn't it. I wouldn't think I am.

It is about perspective.

Yeah, I wouldn't think.

I am something a boy would say, right, Am.

I digging myself in a hole?

Early?

Early?

Yeah?

Very early?

I thought you would have called it a bit longer.

No, I mean that, I wouldn't sayny like I'm going around. I'm just not emotionally investing anyone because emotionally I'm not. I'm not there, not ready to emotionally invest in anything that's there.

Yeah, you're also romantic at the end of the day.

I am, and I would.

I would love to find someone romantic. I love being in love. I love love as well.

Love, But it's got to be missus right, and.

She's got to be like, yeah, missus Kowski, where you at?

Where's your head out?

But you're a bit of a serial DM slider in right?

Oh?

Yeah, I do love to slide into a couple of dms. I mean that's how I slid into your d ms back in the day.

You did, you slid into my d ms a lot, like a lot.

Did I get any success? I don't know.

I think I'm going to pull them off. Should we play?

When I first walked into Love Island and your reaction, let's hear that.

My heart kids stopped for a second there.

I was like, oh no, I ain't good. You know, I don't know yet.

A Jesus, I know, Anna. I actually sent her a DM a couple of weeks ago. To be honest, flame emojis left frighton center.

I just want to say that I have stopped using the flame emoji. Now I've moved on to a wave. You have a volt, so I just I just send a wave. I did try the other day, a kitten like a with love heart Ice.

Okay, how did that go for you?

Successful? She replied back, me ow wow, Okay, I did enjoy that.

Look, I want to pull up these dms because I've had a lot of people ask me what were these like mysterious dms that Matt sent you? And I mean persistence is Matt's strong point. I would say, I don't think I quit, did I know? So?

The first one was in twenty sixteen, so.

It would have been how long after we met then? Probably months? Weeks, no hours.

Look, I'm not sure, but the first DM was a photograph of your wrestling, and then you said, do you want me to get some tickets to watch me wrestle?

I know you'll enjoy it. Hah.

Is that a line that you use on lots of girls, like, hey, come watch me wrestle.

It could be fun. I know you'll enjoy it. Hah.

Yeah I think I have.

Yeah?

Did you reply?

I didn't reply. I was absolutely not interested. Are you ready for this? Okay?

So it's me in twenty seventeen. It says you are hot. I didn't reply. Wait, what's the photo of it's me dancing? Then it says looking super hot, and I said, oh, thank you. And then he said how's life being? I said yeah, goodyear? You said yeah, same old. Really you're still modeling heaps.

I didn't reply. Then I put up a bikini.

Post and you said, raise your hands, Resian hands.

But I've sent you the photo. It's not even a story.

I reply to, Yeah, it is a story.

Oh, it is a story. It's nice. Actually, oh my god?

Okay, and then when can I take you on a date night? No response by me.

You didn't respond to me asking you on a date?

Yeah, absolutely not.

I knew you were a serial slider in, and then you are too hot Anna, no reply, and then the flame emojis, the love heart emojis.

You just literally kept going. It was never ending.

Yeah, give me that. I have precision. What's the word precision? Persistence, persistency, yeast? It works to me sometimes and sometimes not hoestly, not with a classy, well respected girl like yourself.

It didn't work.

Play that.

Back to the drawing board for that one.

Back to the Okay, I don't know what do you think dating in twenty twenty one?

Sliding into the dms? Does that work?

It has worked for me a fair bit. Has it worked for you? Do you slide into guy's DMS?

No?

Not at all?

No?

Then how would you open a conversation with them?

I wouldn't.

I wouldn't look to meet someone on Instagram. But that's just my personal preference.

Really, Okay, that's strange.

You know. I use Instagram like to meet people they signed to mine. I'll slide into their Yeah, So blokes don't slide into your DMS at all?

I mean they do, I just don't really respond.

What's the best sliding you reckon you've had?

I don't think they're that exciting like it's like a wave like you used to do, or hey, how's.

It going or such like a compliment.

But yeah, what would be something that would draw your attention?

Then?

For a guy for the listeners listening at home, to get your attention and his attention, what would you say would be get your attention?

I don't really think there's anything that anyone could say.

I feel like, I mean, if it was like my type, he was.

Like tall, tanned, long hair, my vibemselle. No, not you, I'm not sure. I just don't really like meeting guys on Instagram.

You'd rather meet them out.

I'd rather meet them on a daily app.

I feel like that works for me because it's like a bit more you know, anymous as well, Yeah, they're wanting to meet someone. I just feel like if a guy sliding into my dms, and like, how many other girls dms are they sliding into? Probably a lot from experience, Yeah, well exactly right. I mean you're what I base a lot of that on. And I'm like, if Matt sliding in that much, let's.

Be like a particular. I don't slide into every girls. I'm a lot to find something that I find attractive with them just sliding first, yeah, like I'm not just going like, oh, I try my lucking and then like I'm not shooting nine and then see if one like you know, I mean the tenth one years ago.

I just stiff. I think there's something like they're cute, then what's hip? I just slide in and react.

Yeah, I mean, look, you meet girls on Instagram.

I'd say I would meet guys on like a dating app or if I meet them out.

I prefer to meet a girl out at a club. I'd prefer that.

Get the vibes, get the energy, you.

Get to know people more.

Well. Just to put to I've never met up with a girl a dating app ever, never ever, really no, I've never had I'm on obviously dating apps, but I'm using more as if I'm hungover in bed, just swiping to.

See what a Sunday morning like, just to see what's in my area.

But no, I've never I've never met up or anything with a girl for dating app.

Okay, the question how many girls have you met up with from Instagram.

Cricket scene, that's a very I'd have to go to a talent like account. It wouldn't be as many. Obviously, I have met up with girls off Instagram. I think Instagram is more authentic than a dating app because on a dating app, I know, the Instagram, you're only putting your best photos forward, but on a dating app you have one.

Dating apps you're doing exactly the same thing.

Yeah, but it's like four we're on Instagram, you could have up to like five hundred stories highlights and you get a better idea of the girl.

Do you think your track record is better on Instagram now or before Love Islands?

Definitely?

Now?

There you go.

So, I mean, I don't know what you want to take from that, but that's why I wouldn't really want to be meeting people on Instagram. So you are an avid slider into the dms, But how many girls are actually slide into your dms?

And what's like the best lines that you get?

Yeah, I obviously have a lot of girls slide into mine. I don't Yeah, I won't reply to it any like all of them.

Any that's not actually true.

Yeah, Well they have to be like my type, Like I'll look through them, and if they're on private, I won't like, I'll be like, oh, like I don't know what you look like like, I don't know what you're like, you know what I mean, I can't get an idea of just a display picture. So but the best pickup I've had was definitely a couple of months ago, maybe like early last year, when like the whole COVID thing was going down, and the girls said to me, if coronavirus doesn't take you out, can.

I that's actually pretty good, it's pretty good.

Unfor unfortunately she was in America, so yeah, she couldn't take me.

Out, but she could end maybe in the future.

Ye, I'll put her on the back when they opened up the border.

I thought that was very impressive, to the point that I may or may not have used that. So yeah, thank you to that anonymous girl.

You're going to say the name then? No, no, not yet, okay.

Yeah.

So like obviously dating in twenty twenty one, there's lots of different stages of dating, shall we say. So there's obviously the first date when someone asks you out, so it's like we're going on a first day, exciting time.

It's full of lies and butterflies.

Full of lies from the guys, full of butterflies.

From the girl.

I get a tingly feeling in my balls, not not butterflies.

Okay, yeah, then so that's obviously like the first dating.

And then what, well, every relationship is different, we don't it move into situationship?

What's a situationship?

Let me let me define it for you.

You've got a definition, I do.

So a situationship is basically an undefined romantic relationship, unlike a friends with benefit situation. There can be feelings involved in a situationship, but in terms of the relationship, the end goal is a relationship.

Does that make sense?

So you guys, well, whoever together are sleeping together. They like each other, but I guess they haven't had the exclusive chat.

Yet, the exclusion. So there's a massive gray area between.

It's very grey.

It is very great. Weren't you weren't you in a situationship?

I was? I wasn't very.

Close to that recently that I was.

And that's the problem is when you don't define things, if that's what you want, I feel like there's so many gray areas.

But yes, I was in a situationship recently.

Can you before you tell me about your situationship? But a lot of people don't like to have that conversation. I, for one, am not big on having that conversation with someone in that thing unless they are literally like I want to lock them down, They're not going nowhere sort of thing, you know what I mean? I feel just yeah, actually hanging out. I'm going to avoid that conversation at all costs.

I feel like males avoid that conversation and girls are kind of like do I bring it up?

Like should I say something?

And then if the girl says it too soon, then the guy's like bash catching never ye?

Or if it's sometimes I actually are into it. If it's it's toxic.

I don't think a lot of people are into toxic behavior as much as you are.

You love toxic why, I don't know.

It keeps me on my toes, keeps me, keeps me guessing, keeps things fresh. But I want to hear about your situationship before we get too carried away. Yeah, I think it's I think that everyone's now itching to hear it.

Okay, So basically I was seeing this guy.

He's from interstate, so I met him when I was in Byron.

How did you just meet him at a club?

So we met on a dating app back in December, and then your trip to Byron was what in my trip to Byron was April.

So you spoke for We spoke on and off.

The whole time.

And then I was going to buy Ron for my birthday and he came up from the Gold Coast to meet me and we just got.

What are you laughing at? I'm keen on okay.

Yeah, So then we ended up catching up. We caught up another time up there, and then he started flying to Melbourn back and forth. He did yeah, like I said, keen, Yeah, you didn't get asleep over good signs. And then he started flying to Melbourne to see me.

So he even flew down to Melbourne to see multiple.

Times, like maybe three or four times.

This guy sounds like he's keen. Yeah, he's keen. He's putting in a lot of.

The hard I mean that's what you think.

It definitely sounds it.

Yeah, And so I think just before the most recent Melbourne lockdown, he was like, come to the Gold Coast to see me to escape.

From the lockdown, because we know how much she struggled with the lockdown.

I can't deal with them too much. Yeah kind of.

But it was just like a day before we had the lockdown, was announced, and yeah, he was. I hadn't been to the Gold Coast. He'd been to Melbourn multiple times. I was like, it's probably my turn just to make the effort.

So I was heading. I was at the airport.

I was sitting at the boarding gate and then my phone started ringing from a random number, and as you know, I don't answer random numbers.

And then all of a.

Sudden, twenty messages came through all at once.

I was like, who was blowing up my phone?

So I clicked on the messages and there was multiple screen grabs of him talking to this miscellaneous girl and I was just so confused.

I was like, what is going on?

So who sent me these messages?

So it turns out it was his ex girlfriend.

And he was talking to her.

The whole time he was talking to me. And so I'm sitting at the boarding gate at the airport and I'm like, my bag, my thirty kilos of luggage you a weekend for a weekend, My thirty kilos of luggage is currently heading to Brisbane, or is about to be heading to Brisbane.

Like this can't happen.

So I was just like called the number and I was like, Hi, who am I talking to, And the girl was basically like, Hey, I'm the guys ex girlfriend, and I just wanted you to know that he's been saying us both the whole time.

I've known about you the whole time, and.

Yeah, he's been sleeping with us both, and so obviously I really like this guy, you know. And so I was like quite upset, like I started crying in the airport.

At the airport, was anyone looking at you?

Yes, yes they were.

And I went up to the air possess and I was like, there's been an emergency and I need, as in need to get my bags off this flight. Yeah, I cannot go to the Gold Coast like I will not and cannot go to the Gold Coast. Please get my bag off the flight. And I ended up holding up the flight by ten minutes. So the flight ended up being late because they were pulling my bag.

There'd be some angry people on that plane.

Not more angry than not more angry than me.

A right, So let me get this straight.

He was sleeping with you, yeah, and sleeping with his ex, yes, And she knew that he was going down to Melbourne to sleep with you.

He lied some of the times that he came down, but then other times he told her he came to Melbourne.

Okay, so he was sugarcoating this story, like.

How long ago had he broken up with this miscellaneous e I loves. He broke up with her about eight months prior.

I think had they continued talking and sleeping together the whole time after?

I think so now in hindsight, But I didn't know that at the time. But there was definitely some flaws in the story that I started.

Okay, So when I originally first heard this story, I was like, what a fuck with?

Like what a dog? You know what I mean? Doing dirty on Anna, my girl? But then I thought to myself, hang on, this.

Guy has put himself in a really shit situation because he's probably still was sleeping hanging out with his ex and then things have obviously snowballed with you. And because he still cared for his ex, he didn't want to cut her off straight away, and I think the whole situation maybe just got away from him.

I know you don't like to hear it.

No, I agree, and he got caught up.

I don't like the guy, I don't get me wrong, but like I just I got a little understanding of what happened, and I've been pretty close to that situation.

So first happens said to me, I think that he's still sleeping with his ex before before we see him came out.

I remember having lunch and I said.

There was a few like things where he got a bit annoyed when I asked questions, and that said, straight up, I reckon he's sleeping with his ex.

Men's intuition. It takes on to no one.

Yeah, it takes on to no one who's anything like you. I'm worried.

Well, no, I mean yeah, I think this whole situation just got away from you. Didn't expect things to snowball, was you? Obviously it did put himself in an a position. Yeah, he was scared to break things off with his X. It's shit out's behavior. Yeah, it's not it's not acceptable, but yeah.

But then it's bringing it back to the whole situation ship, which it's it's kind of like free reign. It's kind of like nothing's defined. We're not exclusive, we're not boyfriend and girlfriend. If you're in like an undefined situation situationship, do.

You think people can do what they want?

Right?

I think in.

Hindsight, you should have asked him about the exclusive chat or it wasn't moving that way. I mean you were about to fly up to the Gold Coast, he was flying down.

Yeah, I mean, look, I just think that if the guy hasn't initiated that, then I tend not to because I'm like, if you're not there, then I don't want to be pressuring or putting that onto you. And maybe that's a flow of mine, and maybe I do need to step up in future, but.

For me, I just find that conversation.

Uncomfortable or I feel like I'm pressuring someone into doing something that they don't want to do, Like they should know that I'm a cat and they're lucky they can't see it.

That's the end.

Well, I have a little story from a situationship last year. I was obviously seeing this girl sleeping together, hanging out, and I went onto a radio station and I had a date with a girl this story. So I went and had a date with her, and obviously things snowballed from there and we started talking off air and we started talking.

Like on FaceTime.

She obviously didn't live in Australia and we were chatting, exchanging messages and the girl I was seeing at the time found out yeah, and she cracked it at me and I was like, but there was no conversation about us being exclusive. You knew I was doing that date. I actually did it in your lound room while you were asleep, Like you knew it was happening. You knew what was going to happen.

You know what I mean? You knew.

And I think the thing that we have to be careful with is that it doesn't make it less hurtful.

Yes, because if the tables were turned, you'd be hear me, I feel like I'd be quite mad.

But again, there was no conversation, so I probably if she said to me, there was no conversation, let's have the conversation now, which eventually I turned that in and I said, let's have the conversation now. Are like that, are we exclusive now?

And so you said it there?

I said, so I because we were arguing.

So I said, let's have the come exclusive and we dated like the next week.

I asked, your girlfriend, so that was your most recent girlfriend?

Yes, I just thought that was my most recent situationship that I caught myself in after hearing yours.

I mean, so, do you think that the guy should be the one to initiate the exclusivity or boyfriend and girlfriend chat or do you think that a girl needs to step up to the play and be like, hey, this has gone on for too long.

What are we let's define this.

I think it comes down to a lot of things.

It comes down to if you're going on dates, if you're like doing romantic things, you're introducing them to your friends, even your family, introducing him to your family. They're staying over multiple nights in a week. I mean, if you're they're just coming around after a night out for a glass of wine.

The what you're doing text there the WYD if you're getting a w.

I D friends you're going to it's not going to go the way you want it to go. But if it turns on that, and then if it's a girl, Gray's responsibility, I think that falls into whoever's feeling like they want to have that conversation.

Right, do you think that that conversation is like a make or break Like that's definitely broke up a lot of situationships that we're going really smooth sailing into the sunset, and that conversation puts like a huge boulder in the way, right, Yeah, definitely.

It's a it's a tricky conversation.

It is, and I'm not here to tell anyone to go do it just and then don't take.

My advice and come at in.

Don't that situation, that conversation.

She's not messaging you, just yeah, just pick your moments, see where it's going, see if they like you, and then take it.

Depends what you're looking for, depends what you want.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And then I feel like going forward, I'm going to be a lot more transparent with women i'm seeing and say that I'm not looking for anything right now.

Yeah, I can't.

And I think that's important.

Yeah, that is very important. Okay, So this miscellaneous guy that kept flying down to Melbourne, I've got no idea what his name is. He kept flying down to Malovine. So you're flying down to malim putting in all this effort. Is that the most effort a guy has put in for you? Or has a guy put in more effort than that?

I mean, look, I've had a sixth and a half year relationship. I don't know if a lot of people know that about me, And we used to do amazing things. So I'm gonna say no, I'm talking about at the.

Start, at the start when they're trying to get you in a relationship, because I'm I've been known to be guilty of putting in a lot at the start, and then.

I thought, you put it in the minimum effort that I don't know what you're talking about.

No, I put in a lot of effort I do with some girls.

What's the most amount of effort you put in?

I probably can't tell you off the top of my head the most amount of effort I've put in. Yeah, but I can definitely tell you the most minimum amount of effort I've put in.

I'm sure you can. That's exactly what I just said.

Would you like me?

I would like to know the minimum amount of effort that you.

Put in a right, So, straight off the bat, I asked you girls, go on to walk with me.

So I got I actually picked her up, picked up and.

Drove her so somewhere We went for a walk pretty much around the block, went for a walk around our black local block.

So what you're telling me is you picked her up from her house house and then went for a walk around the block.

The zeros and heroes of it don't make much sense. The logistics are pretty off. But this is what happened. I think there was not much planning on my behalf.

I think there's a lot of planning and taking her to your house.

So I got her back to so then we went for a walk around the block. It was all good.

Then I was like, hey, do you it's been like a forty five minute walk. I was like, I don't want to. We've been good chats, good, good banter. I was, I, you want to come in for dinner? And she's like, oh, you're going to cook me in? I said, I'll see what I've got at home, see what I can whip up for you.

So she's sitting in there, Chef Matt in the house.

Yeah, Chef Matt. I was like, let's see what I can do.

Yeah, she's sitting in the lounde room watching whatever was on foxtail. So we're sitting there and that's.

Putting a zapor non ready to cook her in ass.

So I looked through the fridge, not much going on. Wasn't going to dash out to the shops. I'd been sent out some you know, refrigerated meals. Like, you eat in three minutes?

Okay, yeah, yeah.

So I had two of the same so I was like, all right, we're on here.

So I put them both in the microwave, eated them both up, and served her off like one of the refrigerated meals, and claimed it as my own, and I just cooked it. I think she was a bit suspicious when she walked in the kitchen though, and saw no evidenced, no evidence of cooking whatsoever, and it took six minutes to do. But I don't think she asked questions. I think she didn't want to know answers to fair enough. Let's say that I was safe not to get a second day.

So you didn't get a second day? How did you get ghosted?

I asked her.

I would have go Did you just be honest?

I asked her for a second one. I said, yeah, do you want me to cook your dinner? And I said, so, what do you want you?

Guys?

Don't worry, I'll cook myself dinner. I said, Okay, she is, so okay, what's up? I said, Okay, what's up? She goes, I'm not really down for a guy who puts in the bare minimum, even if it's just for a cuddle. Have a good night XX.

Oh my god, that's a pie straight in your face. She never wants to see your face again. And to be honest, I'm with her like I feel like me.

That's here, guy, have a refrigerated meal.

It's a strong note from me.

Well maybe, yeah, maybe for the next all right, the next girl I invite for dinner, I'm going to cook her a nice steak. I'll figure something out my signature meal.

Oh god, I'm stressed. I'm stressed for anyone dating that right now. So would you say you're emotionally unavailable at the moment.

Yeah, I would.

I'm I mean, if I say that and then this amazing girl comes along and she ticks a lot of my boxes, let's hope I can open up emotionally to her. But right now I need to I need to break I know that with your actually did it a lot differently to the way I did it when we broke off. Yeah, but mine wasn't an easy break wasn't an easy cut off.

Yeah. So just to update people, when I broke up with Josh, we cut communication. And then when you broke up with your ex, you guys, we kept Captain contact kept captain contact. You were saying before, if your perfect girl came along, like, describe her pains as a picture.

Who is she?

What does she look like? What's her personality?

So I'll start with looks. So she would be I'll get to that. So she would be tallish yep, because I'm a tall guy. She would be. She'd have brown hair, should be very easy on the eyes, she'd have her co and the main thing.

And I think the thing we're looking for here is I like boobs. I'm a massive boobsman, so she has to have it. Has boobs.

I have boobs.

I have dated girls with obviously not the biggest boobs on the bigg boob.

Sidety bitty titty committee. But yeah, so it's like a common thing.

Guys are rather a bum guy or a boobs guy.

Right, Well, I don't know any other boobs guys. I've never actually met another guy who looks at boobs like I do.

I do you do?

So the guy who I the Gold Coast guy shall we call it, was a boobs guy.

Okay, but I actually think, and this is maybe really bad of me to say, but I've found that boobs guys are so toxic, Like, just from my personal experience, This is not factual, this is just personal experience.

I find that toxic men are boom men.

I think that's very unfair to put me in the same category. I think that's very I think that's very unfair to put me in the same category as mister Flyer and Australia for you.

Which kind of also brings me to the point, is romance dead in twenty twenty one? Like, think about when our parents were young.

Yeah, there was a lot, Well there wasn't It wasn't as easy to meet someone or to gain access to someone. We can just jump on the phone and, like we said earlier, slide into someone's dams and then it's white left or right.

And then you're in. You've got actual communication with them with no distractions.

No like you have to wait what time they're back from work to call them, have to worry about calling their home phone, their parents, or their younger brother or younger sister ants older brother answering, Yeah, no, you don't have to worry about anything like that.

You could just literally call them FaceTime when I'm obile.

What about writing letters to each other? How romantic?

You do?

Love it?

I haven't even looked like getting a letter.

Ever. If there's any guy out there who wants to send me a letter, that could be my alternative to sliding into the DMS.

How cute would that be?

I actually I don't want to put myself over here, but I have wrote letters.

You have it.

My ex.

I wrote her a three page one when we broke up. My mum told me that was probably the best thing to do, even cute. It out made the the card cute. I put like our favorite character on the front. It was sad, it's breaking my heart with you, you know, Michael Mys the Halloween guy. He was like your favorite character and it was like I will always be hunting for you or something like.

Just it was.

It was a bit weird, if she told me. Even even she said that her moum when she read it was like, well should be concerned. But it was like our favorite characters, like a serial killer, you know.

It was.

It was cute and she found the cuteness in it. But I wrote her a three page letters.

So she told you.

Yes, she told me she's like, look at this guy.

What this stalker is doing? Blog restraining order?

No?

So I agree. Yeah, the romance back in the day was.

A lot more like how cute would it be if you just had someone's phone number and you call them and then you fall asleep on the phone together, Like.

That doesn't happen?

Did you experience that growing up?

I mean no, because I wasn't really allowed to date growing up, like I was.

My parents were very strict, Like I didn't have my first kiss until I think I was sixteen, so I didn't really have boys calling the house. And by the time, I mean by the time I was sixteen, there was mobile phone so we.

Could text so well, so I would have been thirteen, so I would have been calling my girlfriend early bloomer.

Yeah, hey you dated.

An older girl. Surprise, surprise.

So I wasn't even allowed to have like boys over at the house.

I wasn't allowed to have sleepovers at friend's houses as soon as I turned like fourteen, because my parents were like wrapper and bubble wrap, she's not going anywhere.

I think that's backfired for you, or I mean no, I think it was good.

I ended up losing my virginity when I was seventeen, but I was one day off being eighteen, So the only reason I really did it was because I was like, I don't want to be an eighteen year old virgin, which if you are an eighteen year old virgin, there is nothing wrong with that. But in my mindset at the time, and because I had a boyfriend of like three or four months, I was like, why not, let's just do it.

Happy birthday to me.

You're like, wow, that was a shit present.

When I thought it was, I mean it was fun, but yeah, yes, I was seventeen almost eighteen.

All right.

So after your most recent experience with the Gold Coast guy, have you taken a different approach like I said, to dating guys or are you still all in on one guy?

Or are you.

Scattering for a different word of expression that we like to use. Are you're putting your eggs in different baskets like I said too?

I mean I would say that I have put most of ths into one basket because you know what, I'm like, all or nothing, Like if unless I'm really into someone, I wouldn't even look like talking to them, and so I think I would say that I definitely wouldn't like close conversations with other people, but mainly my eggs would be in one basket.

Okay, but not you right?

Uh, Well, like I keep saying, I came out of a relationship where I don't want to emotionally invest in a basket and put all my eggs in there.

So how many baskets are your eggs in? How many?

How many baskets are I running?

How many eggs do you have?

Yeah, I'm running out of I'm not.

When you put eggs into When you put eggs in someone's basket, you have to be I feel getting invested in that, and you have to feel emotions towards yeah, somewhat so like, but then you say that even talking to someone is putting energy into that totally.

And that's and that's the thing is when you're putting all of your energy into multiple people, I feel like you would be depleted by the end of it because you're giving so much of yourself to people.

And also, like, how did guys date more than one girl? Like how would you remember what everyone said?

I played the card. I don't have a ship memory.

No you don't, So you tell girls that you have like a short term memory loss or something.

Well, in my defense, a lot of things I say, as you know me is off the cuff. So a lot of things. I don't put much thought into saying.

But if you've had a conversation with one person, surely, oh remember that, I'll recall that. But if you're having the same conversation with multiple girls, then you just use this.

It's more the memory loss.

It's chats with people and you know, just off the cuff stuff that I say.

See, I think that's a toxic male trait.

The moment that you confront a guy about something and then they all of a sudden have amnesia.

I feel like that's a red flat.

How did your mate go? Did he did something like that?

Oh, he had amnesia and then all of a sudden it all became clear.

Was there a situation where he called that card? Or what do you mean that he didn't remember? Or he said something true enough to you and he got his wires crossed?

Oh totally.

And as a girl, you pick up on it instantly, and it's a huge red flag, you know.

I feel like when.

Those moments come, ladies, be aware, be on take note, write a red flags list.

I think that all girls should write down.

A list of the red flags, even if you really like a guy, just in case, Just in case, it doesn't work out, and then you can look at all the red flags and be like, actually, maybe because it's not that good, and it'll make yourself feel a little bit better. And that's our relationship suck. And dating in twenty twenty one sucks because everyone gets.

I've spoken to you, I've spoken to a girl, and I could literally tell I was not her main priority. Real I was not the main guy she was talking to. I was literally she would take up till like twenty four hours. A reply flaked on me a couple of times, not keen, and I was just like, you know what it is, what it is. I'm not in this boat where I want to go full ball to the wall with her.

So I was like, it is what it is.

I mean it was like, yeah, yeah, that would have definitely your ego, your ego that put her on a big old pedestal for you.

Let's talk about that. Let's talk about how playing hard to get, Like, does playing hard to get work?

It depends on the girl. Sometimes it plays hard to get, I'll play forget. It depends on the girl, depends on the.

Situation, depends the value that you're placing on this.

Girl, on that girl. What about yourself.

I mean, look, I was seeing someone months back and he was playing a little bit hard to get with me.

And now.

That look, that's a brave move how.

That plays, And honestly, I actually think it kind of works. But at the end of the day, if you're going to like someone, you're going to like them, and if you're not, you're not. And what I think happened was it just prolonged the inevitable, Like me and him were never going to work out because it was a different some personality, but him playing hard to get probably extended our situationship period maybe by two months.

So many how did he play hard to get? Just so I know.

Implementing this, No, I'm just trying to figure out because I'd feel that a girl might say play hard to get, where honestly I'm.

Just not interested.

Maybe you are to get I just haven't.

Yeah, I mean I'm not easy, but like sometimes I could feel that like a girl's messaging me, like messaging mess with me, and like maybe I'm not interested and I'm not a ghoster, so I'm not I'm not just I'm too I'm too I'm too nice and to consider it because I would hate to be ghosted. So I'll reply, but pick up that this isn't going anywhere, you know what I mean. There's not much energy being put into these masters that much thought. Do you know I recently

I'll express that.

Well.

I was explain that story, and so coming up I got ghosted. I just took that. I was like, all right, that's how you want to play, you know what I mean.

Seem a bit salty about that.

Play hard to get. I'll play forget.

But I'm feeling a bit of salt coming from you about that. You are a bit upset about it, Yeah.

I mean, you don't just not reply. We've been chatting for a bit pretty intensely.

So I went on a first date with someone recently, somewhat recently, and then I was after the day being very distant, like I was replying twelve hours later, and he wasn't really getting the hint. So I might have ghosted him. But now I'm starting to feel bad about it. So I feel like I should message him and just say, hey, probably look down that barrel and give him a nice apology. Oh it's just it's so uncomfortable having these conversations with people,

But sometimes like putting your head in the sand and just forgetting that it happened.

But this is what it's about dating in twenty twenty one. These things happen. People get ghosted people. You know, you ghost people, you burn people. It is what it is.

It's just like, I feel like we live in such a fast paced world and society and we just all get things so quickly. It's the instant gratification, and when something doesn't work out, we're just like next, Like let's let's head, let's let's keep like fowling forward to.

The He's next in the dan, He's the next in the tens.

Okay, well, on our next.

Episode, we're going to be talking about breakups. My breakup with Josh, my breakup with Kira.

But yeah, stay tuned. It's going to be really fun.

If you have a friend who is recently going through a breakup, if you are going through a breakup, if.

You know someone send them the episode. We'd love for you, guys to chune in and see you next time.

See you next time, guys.

Bye bye, y

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