ASKING YOUR PARTNER FOR 'ME TIME': WYHA HOTLINE

Hey, on Sunday, I'm actually gonna have a girl's day.

What do you mean we had we were going to go surfing together.

Where's Your Head At? Is a podcast that talks all things right. Hold on a sec, let's give this a refresh.

Hi, I'm Anna and I'm Matt, and we are now too newlywed not to each other. Just a female and male best friend here for the good, the bad, and the ugly times.

And exploring adulthood, family relationships, dilemmas.

And whatever else we have the mental capacity to deal with.

Come get the lowdown.

This is your male and female perspective.

So, Matt, where's your head at? Good morning?

Good morning Anna, Good morning everyone. Where's your head at? Hannah?

Well, I'm a maternity leave and we are recording a hotline episode currently in the studio. Right now, we're both standing up, and we've never done a podcast standing.

I've seen a couple of people stand in like the radio presenters stand and I was like, you know what, let's try standing up. Let's see how far through this episode we can get standing, because I think I'm going to get a little bit over it.

I would never have agreed to standing, but honestly, at this point in my pregnancy, I'm heavily pregnant. My hips who saw, I'm just aching all.

Over standing make it worse.

No, because i feel like I'm kind of moving side to side, so I'm stretching out my hair.

Yeah, you are swaying to side, just.

Like treating this as a bit of a workout.

Well, if you stand, I'm pretty sure we'll find a start on that. You will burn more calories than sitting down at your desk. So if you're listening to this at work, stand up.

Do you know what a friend of mine actually she got one of those little slow treadmills that you walk on. Why Yeah, and she loves it. She's like all four I The thing is one of my worst moments in life was when I was I used to do PT training and I was like going ham on the treadmill with my PT and fell off fully fell off frontwards or backwards backwards like I was running. Obviously I don't know how it happened, and just went flying off the

He was like are you He was like, you're Okay, the speed was only at four point five. You're worse shape than I thought.

No, I was really fit then, But the problem was is I think I got two cocky. So I was going at like fifteen or something fast. And then imagine flying off a treadmill like that. That would hurt. Yeah, And that's the reason why I feel like, because I work at home a lot on my phone or laptop, and it would be nice to just be like slowly walking whilst doing it. It's almost like subconscious, like you wouldn't even know, but imagine. I mean, if you go flying off that, it's probably not.

Really red flag. I mean at my old office in the Gold Coast, they have desks that would stand up and a lot of people would stand while working. Yeah, so that would burn calories doing that.

You're all about I.

Have what was the other thing I said today? Something?

But you said something else.

I'm like, I'm in my fitness era. You know what they say, though, don't count calories, make calories count?

Why you someone bought with this who hurt you? Like, well, you don't need to count calories.

All right? And so we've brought some stories to today's episode. Yes, I saw an article and it said study say that couples who fart together tend to have a healthier and happier relationship. So it's actually come up a couple of times on my Instagram this week.

And do you agree with this?

Do you fight in front of Michael?

Do you agree with this?

I I'll start by saying, I have never had a girlfriend or partner of fart in front of me.

Ever, I had what about like by accident.

They're like, oops, yeah, years ago. I'm talking years like sixteen year old. My girlfriend she was asleep on okay, actually I was watching continue watching the movie and she farted, broke herself up and she was like and I was like, did you fart? She was like no, And I was like, I kept watching the movie and I realized you hard. I wasn't going to play on it.

You know what about you? Are?

You just like let him?

He's letting them riff.

I mean with my wife, I won't far as much in previous relationship.

That's nice of you. Yeah, I said that, Michael, don't part for me. It does not stop.

Yeah, previous relationship. So I would just let it rip and on stop like you know, and I do this thing where I go to to like cover it up as if it was like, you know, so it's pretty funny. But then it's funny when they're silent and no one knows. No, but I go, no, my ship doesn't stink.

Oh okay, sorry, guys. Isn't this an annoying thing that Matt says that his ship doesn't stink, His farts didn't stink. He just has no regrance to his bo Apparently.

I don't do I have. Have you ever smelled bo on me? No?

I have it, but I can't really like pinpoint anyone who have smelled bo on unless it's like really pungent, true, I think, yeah, like you can't help it. There is a thing where you can get both ups under your arms and it stops sweating, which I think.

Is that sweating is good for you.

Though sweating, I guess is good for you. Yeah.

The study suggests that couples who are open enough to far in front of each other may have stronger bonds and better emotional health. It's a marker of intimacy, honesty, and relaxation within the relationship, which can lead to more trust in the partnership.

Yeah. Well, look, I well.

You're pregnancy, you probably can you have you lost any control of it yet?

Or he took the words right out of oh really tell what you were about to say. So, like I like never farted in front of mye unless it was like an accident, yeah, or like if I was in my sleep and I'm like oh, but like like if I needed to like do that, I would go to the bathroom and then I'm like, you know, I'm on the toilet's free reign whatever. But like never before really, and then since getting pregnant, they've slipped out a little bit because I think there's a lot.

Of pressure and Michael's cool with that.

I mean Michael doesn't like he doesn't I care more about it than he does.

If your wife is pregnant at that point, you wouldn't care.

I don't think do guys even care if if a woman farts.

I've never been in that situation really.

Like when is when is too soon? Like it's like date number one or two make me feel like WHOA, well, let's not get too comfortable.

What would you do with you? Like a guy you want on a date? We fared on like date one or two.

I think it might turn me off. Like as from a woman's perspective, I think i'd be like, restrain yourself, cleanch harder.

Be a bit too us when we're touching on it, we'll leave on this. Do you strategically fart when you need to? Or like, do you so like when you plan it, like you go, okay, I need a fart do in front of Michael and wander off.

No, it's not like a planned thing that I've like written like my schedule for off like that.

But you're feeling and I can't do it here, so I'll just wander off.

No, I think just if I go to the bathroom, that's when it happens for me, Like that's like my designated time. He's not in the bathroom with you.

Is going to the bathroom. That's too much. I'm seeing too much on this.

Just the last question what I asked you before As a guy, when is too soon to fart in front of a girl? No for the girl, because you're saying that guys don't care if a girl farts, But when is too soon?

Let me I don't for personally. Yeah, I mean the first or second date would be too soon. I think that would be a bit of.

Like, whoa, you're like, I think for me, like we have to be exclusive before you're even looking like farting.

Okay, yeah, let's say exclusive. Then it's such a goo question because I do like it's like.

Well, it's just because you were so like guys don't care. So then I was like, well, when would you care?

I don't know if I actually ever would care, I could. You could probably laugh it off if it was by acts, like if she lifted a leg on the couch and let one rip on the first day, a leg on the first day, that would be sort of like, whooh, you're comfortable a leg?

Okay. I think it's time for rusting into this hotline because man, I'm just having way too much fun talking.

About everyone's like what the fuck am I listening to? They have lowered themselves to toilet humor.

I'm about to go into like labor, like I'm about to lose all dignity toilets low. It's just funny.

This hotline is anonymous. Let's hear what they have to say. Huge fan of podcast for a while now, person, I'm calling in. I've just got into a new relationship with my girlfriend. It's been going pretty well, doing absolutely everything together, go on my parks, markets, I go out surf and she comes with me, spend a lot of time with each other's houses and whatnot.

That was really good and all for like the first few months the relationship, and I loved it. But now before the relationship was very much like a personal sort of guy.

I enjoyed my personal space and my time.

Alone and for the first three months so it was good and I love being with her, but it just got to start to get a bit much now, not even personal space. But I don't know how to tell her that I need a bit of time without sounding rude.

So I just wondering if you'd hang me out with that would be great.

Thanks again, love his mote. Thanks for the voicemail. That's a really good one.

How do you tackle that situation, because what do you say? For the first three months he loved it and enjoyed it. In the honeymoon stage, you know, fireworks going off. But I'm a big advocate for personal time. Yes, absolutely, I love my time to myself.

I think everyone does need to have time alone to really recharge. Yeah, And I think my advice to him would just be be really honest and just say, look, I'm like, I love when this is going. Are they together? Yeah, verificially together? I think you said yeah, yeah, I like, I'm I really enjoy hanging out with you. I just need to prioritize some alone time and like getting some work stuff done and.

Honestly is the best policy. So I agree, I think he should express that to her. What happens if say he expresses that to her and she gets upset? How do you tackle that situation? She goes, well, you don't love me, you don't want to hang out with me? Am I too much?

I would say, just validate her feelings, because how she's feeling would be correct, and just say like, look, you have every right to feel this way. We've hung out twenty four to seven, but it's just not maintainable, and I want to, like, you know, make the most of the moments we have together, but also have some me time and some personal time where I can recharge. I'm the best verson me for you.

Well, it could be he could be a single for what, you know, maybe like twenty five years. I'm just saying he could be single for most of his life. He could have grown into habits of like having alone time and then what to just date someone that you love and they're just taking up all you know what I mean, you're with them all the time.

It gets a lot.

It could be a lot, you know.

It's a lot for everyone. It's also transition, you know, like it's a it's a life transition, going from being single only thinking about you, your needs, What am I going to do this weekend? What's my plans to actually having someone else in the mix and also thinking about them, how that's going to make them feel.

I've got one for you. Then if you don't mesh into twine properly, are you? Are you right for each other?

You know?

So I think so you're not. Like if it doesn't because he said that she went surfing with him or something like, he's she's obviously taking up the hobbies as well. So I think that's a good sign.

I don't think you could just go surfing like I think she probably knows how. It's like pretty, it's a skill, a niche thing. She's on the boogie board like.

Side of catching the waves. Well, that's what I mean. Like, I mean I think that he's I think it's cute. They're doing a lot of stuff together, and I would encourage partners to do that, but I would also encourage them to find their own time, in their own space.

And a happy medium, Like relationships evolve, Like how things are at the start of a relationship is never how they're gonna continue on, you know, full blown one hundred percent honeymoon phase is very like they might have.

Each other in a month and not want to hang out together at all. Psimistic might be like, I'm not coming safing with you, no.

But I think I think, you know, every relationship after the honeymoon phase kind of gets into like a bit of a groove and maybe he's thinking about it, maybe she's thinking about it, and she's just not really voiced it, like he hasn't voiced it to her.

Well, other things come in there as well, like work might come up. She might get busier at work, or he might get busier, and they might not spend time as much together, and you know, looking back in a couple of months, you might be like, oh, I miss her hanging out with her all the time. Yeah, So, I mean, what would the advice is, Honestly, it's the best policy.

Validate her feelings, Validate.

Her feelings very strong man. That's an important thing I've realized, and just understand each other, hold space and listen. You can't get angry if someone wants alone time.

If you take it personally, you can, like if it's said in the wrong way, you could be like, oh, they don't like me anymore. Like you could take it personally.

Okay, you're telling me that you want a loone time. Tell me are we doing? Like?

No?

Tell me. Here's an example of telling how you.

So it's a weekend, it's Friday night, I would just say.

We're sitting down eating a pizza, or you're Michael Sprience a time. Yeah.

Yeah, So I'll just say, Hey, on Sunday, I'm actually going to have a girl's day.

What do you mean we had we were going to go surfing together. So we're not going surfing together. You don't love me, I've nothing to you.

No one is going to react like that. Literally, no one is going to say that, just like I really need to like reach I would say, I just really haven't seen my friends in a while, and I really want to reach oute my calf friends.

Am I not your friend? Do I not feel your calf got me? Oh?

My God, it's a lot coming right now.

So that's how that's why you would tackle it.

Yeah, just be open on it.

By the way, I was doing like the worst case scenario, Like that's not real.

No hope. No one acts, especially in a new relationship, like people are like tiptoeing around each other like yeah, no problem, like have fun. Yeah.

I was just joking. Yeah no, Look, if that's I reckon, that's the best way to say it.

Okay, Well that was we.

Stood up the whole time. Maybe I feel goofy that we're standing up.

I actually love standing up. I feel like my hits are loosening by the second for this baby to come out.

If water could break it any stage, you can pop out any time, and we'll be back when maternitally finishes. Have you put in your leaf form for that? We have a date.

We said six weeks. That's all I'm getting, apparently the.

Extra time.

Okay, guys, until next time. Bye,