Anna Has A Boyfriend

I've definitely dated my fair share of douchebags.

My time just get tingling, healing balls.

Oh I'm spiraling, Oh my God, tell us everything.

Flame emojis left, right, and center.

Matt loves a bit of God and.

I need to text you back.

I really need you with I know I'm jealous. I'm the most jealous person ever.

Relationships like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit.

Hisity dot com for you. I'll be a bloody single and alone with ten cats for the rest of my life. Lie.

On today's episode of Where's Your Head At, we will be discussing when you should make.

It official, and we'll be looking at the different types of love languages. So get excited. It's going to be juicy. Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more. All right here we are an episode six. How's it going?

You're intro is so wild? Look, Matt, last time we were speaking, we all got the really, really bad news that you were a bad kisser.

Whoa whoa, whoa. Okay, let's just stop there.

Hooray.

I'm not a bad kisser. My kissing technique just doesn't match up to the new girl I'm with.

It doesn't align the last two girls. It hasn't aligned with for the first time ever.

Well, I only thought there was one kissing technique, which is mine.

So basically you expect them to follow your lead, is what you're saying.

Yes, I mean there's only one dance, isn't there.

But I'd say like, a good kisser is someone who.

Can adapt on the fly, can adapt.

Like someone who's like this person's gone a bit rogue. But I'm going to go with her because we're going to somehow try and make this a decent kiss. Okay, So, how's kissing school going? Then? With the Magical date girl? Shall we call her? I feel like that's her name now because you always say this. The first day was magical Magical date Girl.

So yeah, So I've checked into school with her.

Enrolled.

I've en rolled to school the right word. Yes, I've been rolling to school and I think it's going well. She says she actually enjoys kissing me.

Okay, so you've improved it went from like an F minus to maybe like a d plass.

The other night, we're having a couple of cocktails and I was just I hit it. It was really good at kissing, and she was like that, you have.

To say that is blowing my fucking.

She was like, where's this, matt Bean, how's it?

Like?

What's going on? And she was just in doing it? I learned. But then the next day, let's keep it. And then the next day I forgot what I did.

So you improved and then you declined.

I don't know what happened. And maybe the cocktail has too many whisky. Sy hours got to me and I knew what I was doing, but yeah, I really shit. Yeah, So I'll go back to school. I've got class after this, so let's keep this going.

Good luck in school. I hope you can pass you here.

But Anna, yes, what is going on? You've come out of a twelve hour relationship? Have you picked yourself back up? I think you've got some exciting news. You said you're going to wait to share. What tell me what's going on?

So after my twelve hour relationship and my breakup.

You're right after that as well.

I've moved on no to be honest, I do have some really exciting news. Do I just flat out say it?

Like I beat around the bush?

I have a boyfriend?

Congratulations? Anna? So how long's it beening now?

Then it's been a couple of days.

Fourteen hours?

Yeah, I mean we've got past the twelve hour mark, which is a start, which I'm excited about. We both woke up the next day and didn't decide that it wasn't a good idea. We both had to chat and we were like, I think we should continue on this boyfriend and girlfriend.

Ruthe So did he ask you out when he was drunk again or how did it happen this time?

Okay, So basically he came over to my apartment and we had a little picnic. We set up a little picnic in my living room. We ordered some Chinese food. It was really cute. We were having a really nice time. We had a little candle on, but it was still pretty low key. And then he just kept looking at me. You know that feeling when someone's eyes were just on you and you're like, I feel like you have something

I can see you're radiating smiles.

You're just she's glowing.

She's taken now and she's happy with her man.

Yeah, so I have a boyfriend. And it's really funny because he said to me, he was like I think I was like he'd been at my apartment for about four or five hours, and he was like, I have been trying to ask you to be my girlfriend for about a week, and every time I tried to do.

It, I don't know this.

Yeah, he was like I panicked and didn't ask, or not even panicked, but just like just felt like it wasn't the right time or yeah, he just like pulled the pin last minute. And then he had said to himself that night like I'm one hundred percent and ask her and apparently it had been like four hours that he had been at my apartment and he still hadn't done it, and he was like, come on, like I've got to do it, and then yeah, he finally did it.

That's awesome. Congratulations, Anna, thank you.

But yeah, I've never really thought about how difficult and stressful it must be to have to ask someone that question, which takes us into today's episode. When is the right time to make it official? Let's get into it, all right.

So do you think your lad asked you at the right time?

Can we call on my boyfriend now so we don't have this miscellaneous was flying around?

This is true. Let you go again. So do you think that your boyfriend asked you at the right time to be your boyfriend? I was going to say, man, then again, but.

Look, I think that he asked me at the perfect time. I think we were both ready for it. We had been seeing each other for about seven and a half weeks, and I guess they say that the two month rule is the perfect time. So this sweet spot is two months of dating and there's been a bit of exclusivity in there, and then that's like the perfect time.

It gives you enough time to sussy out what the other person's like, to really nut out any of those red flags we speak of that yeah, that we ignore anyway.

Yeah, so, I mean I think the optimum time is two months, and so with us that kind of just before but was just before. But yeah, pretty much the right time. But I mean, what about you, Matt, how long would you wait to make the girl that you're seeing?

So as you as you know, I've gone anywhere between four years to two months.

It's a very big spectrum of time.

Yeah, very big. So I've gone anywhere between there to ask them to be my girlfriends. So I don't really put a time on it. I feel like you're restricting yourself that way. I more feel off how I'm feeling, and I say, okay, like this has been going good, let's let's take it to the next step, or wow, we've been doing this for a long time. You can only grow probably should step up. Yeah, I should probably grow some balls and ask you or end it. And I didn't want to end it at the time, so

That loves fliding out that little sentence.

Yeah, so you should suss it out where their heads at and where your heads are and ask them to go from there.

Okay, Matt, So you've had two serious relationships. What makes you want to make someone your girlfriends? Like? What qualities do they have to have?

All?

Right?

So there's a lot that I look for, But the main one that I look for is if I enjoy their company. Yes, that's a massive thing. I feel like I'm massive on spending time with my partner. So if I'm not enjoying their company, why would I want to be their partner? Why would I want to date them? So I look a lot into that. If I enjoy their company, how about yourself?

I mean, I just think overall, compatibility is super important. Being on the same level intellectually, being able to have good conversations, wanting to do the same things, having similar interests like travel or you know, whether you want to go hiking with that person. I think your lives have to be able to intertwine in a really nice way.

I guess massive, that's massive.

I think all of those things are really important. But I think love languages are also super important for having a healthy relationship. So we're going to talk about that next. Okay, Matt, So there's five love languages. What are they?

So? There is words of affirmation, which.

Is basically like sending an unexpected note or a text or genuinely encouraging your partner.

There is quality time.

Quality time is creating special moments together, are really nice memories, taking walks, doing small things with your partner, maybe like a weekend getaway or a little holiday.

Where it's just the two of you, spending one on one time. Acts of service.

Okay, So acts of service is like bringing your partner breakfast in bed or going out and getting them a coffee, so basically going out of your way to help them with a task or helping alleviate their daily workload.

And there's also gift giving.

Yep, So gift giving is buying thoughtful gifts, making nice gestures, basically doing small things that matter to that person in a really big way and expressing your gratitude for them through the act of giving gifts.

All right, and the last one is touch.

Okay, So physical touch is giving a kiss, a hug, holding hands, showing little signs of physical affection and make affection and making your intimacy a priority. And what one would you say is your love language?

I would definitely say it would be between quality time and physical touch. Yeah, what about yourself?

I think I'm the same. But do you know what's funny is I don't want to be greedy, but I feel like they're all really important.

Well yeah, because I was going to say, you are big on acts of service.

Yeah, Like I like it when my partner does like little things here and there, like it makes me feel like they really care. But if I had to list them in order, I feel like physical touch and words of affirmation would have to be at the top.

People would reckon I'm words of affirmation, but I don't really, I don't. It's funny how you can think of like something so important and the other ones, like acts of service I couldn't really care for.

But then like quality time is such a big one. But I just take that for granted because I probably wouldn't be with someone who didn't want to spend quality time with me. So it's really it's a difficult one

We're similar that because fancy this. I did the test as well and mine came back thirty seven percent quality time.

Wow, that's quite a lot.

Yeah, that's why I am twenty seven percent words of affirmation, which I think surprising. I don't I don't.

You love a compliment? When are you talking?

Well, the test doesn't lie, does it. Had The numbers don't lie. I'm twenty three percent physical touch, seven percent acts of service, and seven percent gifts.

Wow. So yeah, our bottom two are the same and our top three are the same, So I think we are very similar in that way. And then my boyfriend sounds so strange to say he had exactly the same as me.

So then you guys are compatible.

Very compatible. Yeah, that's good, which is good to know. That is good to know because I think, like in past relationships, when your love languages are off, it can actually make a bit of a difference. And I think sometimes what you want to receive is different, like you were saying.

So, I think you express love in one way through one love language, and you receive love through another way.

So totally.

So I feel like I might receive it through quality time, but I give it through words of affirmation. Yea. With my partner, I like to tell them all the time how beautiful they're looking in how much I love them? If you if I do, yeah, if I love to do that. But my ex used to express her love through gifts, and you saw there seven percent. I do not.

That's not how you like to.

I do not like take love like that. So she'd be wanting, she'd be giving a gift gift after gift, and I'd just be like cool, like this, doesn't you know what I mean? And if anything, I hate receiving gifts. I feel uncomfortable. So with button heads on that a lot and I'd want quality time. So quality time to me is us laying there watching a movie or having a conversation, looking at each other in the eye. And

Because you need that presence.

Yeah, So I would feel really lonely and really like in that relationship because I wasn't getting what I needed to feel loved. So, like you're saying, it's very important that these love languages connect and they link up and are compatible.

I think something that's really important to remember as well is that sometimes we don't get to tell people what we're going to give them. Sometimes, as a partner, you have to take a step back and be like, my partner's love language is this, and so therefore I'm going to make a huge effort to give them that, so that this work. Sometimes we need to get out of our comfort zone and not just give people what's comfortable for us, but what they actually need.

So we would have arguments about this, I would say I'm more than happy, even though I feel so uncomfortable to accept your gifts, like it's getting gifts. It's at the end of the world about it. I'm like, I understand, that's how you're telling me you love me. So I would take him. I was like, but can you meet me halfway and once or twice a week? Can we just have some quality time and watch a movie?

Yeah?

And she couldn't give that to me.

Yeah.

And it was a massive obstacle in our relationship, which obviously led to the demise of it.

And you know what, there's this study that talks about how if your love languages do not align, it's really hard to make a relationship work. And a lot of the time that is the downfall of the relationship because when those things don't.

Align, it doesn't work. No one's feeling loved, no one's feeling wanted, and you're just budding heads.

Correct. Okay, So let's talk about knowing your partner's love language. So, I mean it promotes selflessness to start with, because you're not just thinking about yourself and what you want to give them. When you are committed to learning someone else's love language, you'll focus on their needs rather than your own.

Yep.

Ideally, both people will want to express love in the same way. But obviously that's not always the case, and sometimes there has to be some sort of compromise.

And any good relationship has compromise. You have to meet your partner halfway, and.

When you do that, it helps to maintain intimacy and helps to bring you closer. So it's definitely worth putting in that extra effort and putting your time and energy into that.

Okay.

So interestingly, words of affirmation was the most popular love language, which I mean, I think is really like it's interesting because I think we all need reassurance, age someone to say you're doing great, you're amazing, I appreciate you. All of those things make a huge difference to our self esteem, our outlook in life, and I think that's such an important thing that a partner can bring to the table.

Yeah, I understond agree that reassures you that they do they do indeed love you, and they want to be with you.

I think interestingly, as well, physical touch was more important for men and people in cities love quality time.

Well, that makes sense. You're in the hustle and bustle of the city doing your work, so you don't get to spend much quality time with your partner, so they must love it when they do. Yeah, all right, so love language is a very important relationship for them to work out. We'd love to hear some of your love languages. So head over to Where's your Head at Pod.

We're gonna leave the quiz there. You can do the quiz and then we will leave a box on our Instagram story and you can share your results with us. Okay, Matt. So there's a theory that throughout our lifetime we fall in love three times at three different stages in our life. Have you heard of this before?

I actually have, and I agree with it a lot. I'm yet to find out the last one, but the first two I agree with. Yes, okay.

So the first one is your first love. It feels like a fairy tale. You're normally pretty young when it happens. You get head over heels in love and you think that you're going to spend the rest of your life with this person. So it's kind of like puppy love.

Yeap, where you're young, so not much matters. So it's just due two in each other's lives and you've got each other and you're so absorbed with each other that it's all that. Really your life is consumed with.

One hundred percent and then normally these relationships will end because you just grow apart. It's nothing really bad happens. There's still a lot of love for each other. But I guess you're just.

Kind of too young, yep, and you've still life to life to live, life to take on.

The second love is your intense love. So that's usually the one that kind of turned your world upside down. It's very intense. Is usually pretty toxic.

I was going to say, is the word you're looking for. Toxic?

Is very toxic. We see all of our insecurities through that person. There's a lot of jealousy, fear, self doubt, abandonment issues come to the surface, and it can really leave you with massive highs and extreme lows.

This one is obviously like a roller coaster. You're going through all these different kinds of emotions and will end in heartbreak and with one or not both of you getting heartbroken and having quite a messy breakup. So yeah, but we go through these two relationships. I feel if this theory is true, so we can grow and develop as a human and come full into ourselves and realize what we do and don't look for in a relationship, which then we go into the third one, which.

Is unconditional love. So yeah, after our puppy love and our intense love, we've evolved, we know exactly what we want, what we absolutely don't want, and we get to our final love. Also, the theory goes, which is our unconditional love. So we've finally recovered from that heartbreak from our intense love. And I think this love just comes at you left field. You're not looking for it, it comes out of nowhere.

So Anna, if this theory is true, and I know you quite well, You've had one love which I would say was like your six year old yeah, and was your first love.

Yeah.

Then you had another boyfriend, which you go on record for saying was an intense love and quite toxic Josh.

Yes.

And then you have a boyfriend which you alluded to at the start of this episode as your third one. So if the big fella's listening, Oh, you threw me under the last time, I'm saying, is this the one? So now it's my too? Is this the one?

Look? I don't want to make any huge statements right now, but it did really kind of shock me. Like, I wasn't expecting it at all. It came from left field. It's a really healthy relationship.

How about you just quote what I said.

We don't fight. It definitely feels like a safe relationship. But is this my unconditional love? I'm not sure, Like hopefully, but you never know.

It's way too early.

But it's way too early. We've literally been in a relationship for about three days.

It's longer than twelve hours long.

It's longer than our twelve hour stint. So we're getting somewhere. But yeah, I mean, unconditional love is supposedly your third and final life, and that's your forever love.

So on saying that, hopefully my next girlfriend is mine forever one.

Maybe the girl who you went on a magical first date with is your unconditional love.

I could see that.

But I mean, I've spoken to heaps of people, like I've spoken to my parents about this. My dad and my mum both reckon that they've had their three main loves in their life.

Well that's it. You have other partners in there, but there's the three that you get so infatuated with and so intensely in love with. So that's what we're saying with these three.

Yeah, and I think if you look at your relationship history, you can normally peak which one's a puppy love, which one was your intense love, and then unconditional love if you've gotten to that stat to find one. Yeah, if you're lucky enough to find one. But yeah, a lot of people believe in this theory, including me. I definitely believe in it. And I mean, I think it's cool to know that we all have three loves.

And my parents are the exact same. My mum used to always say it to me this series. Yeah, so I've got hope that it's true.

We've all got a bit of her. Okay, guys, this one is a highly requested episode. You guys want to know about our Love Island experience, and with Love Island coming up very soon with a new season airing.

We thought it's the perfect time for us to tell you more than what you saw on TV about our Love Island experiences.

We will go in depth, so we're going to give you the form one one on what it's actually like to be on a reality TV show like Love Island. Okay, guys, thank you for listening. Until next time, we'll see you later.

See you guys. Bye,