AMELIA MARNI'S FIRST TELL-ALL

I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing style.

We would a boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours.

He's in a trash bin. He's non recyclable catching member.

I love being love, I love love.

Today.

We are thrilled to be hanging out with Amelia many as we chat all things Love, Island, breakups, and being single in twenty twenty two.

Stay tuned to hear all the goss from Amelia.

Where's Your Head At is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more.

Hello Amelia, Hi guys, thanks so much for having me.

I'm so excited to chat.

Well, Amelia, I just have to say a massive congratulations because you are doing amazing things at the moment. I saw on your socials recently that you flew to London to be part of the remal campaign.

Look, mummy's been working in partying. She's been doing a little bit of both. I mean it was a little bit unbalanced at the start, like a few months ago, I was only partying and now I'm.

Like picking up on work a bit more.

But yeah, it was so exciting I did for their new like thrill Seeker, like VISCAA. So I was there in London shooting that. I went to this amazing event there with them, and that's when I was like, all right, I'm gonna put my head down work as much as I can in London, and especially considering you guys are probably similar a lot of a lot of your followers from UK.

Yeah, yeah, so I was like, great, I can work with UK brands. It makes sense. Blah blah blah, I'm gonna hustle here. I went to one event and then it was all downhill from then I just partied the whole time. So look, I don't regret it. But it was a big party and a tiny tiny bit of work.

I mean, your recently single, so of course you needed to like soak it all up, have a bit of a hot girl summer.

Do you reckon? You've ticked that box now?

Hundred are hundred percent? I feel like I ticked it, Like, look, I just kept going. I just I remember thinking I was like I need to slow down, like I can't keep partying like this. But you know what, like so many of my friends, like so many different groups kept coming and then they would come for like it would

Well.

Look, speaking of girls trips, you recently were on holiday. I think you were on holiday are away somewhere and you were hanging out with one of my biggest girl crushes, Kayla Testa.

Tell me a bit about that.

Yeah, so we she knew one of my friends that I was with Tuesday and then she was like messaging her in and out.

We were going to meet up with her and Bali.

Like a few months before that, so I'd been in Bali, like I can't even remember the timeline. I think it was May. So we were going to meet up with her there and then we were all in Europe. At the same time, We're like, let's meet up in my beeth that will be so fun. And obviously I'd seen so much of her on TikTok and everything, and I'd heard so much.

About her, and it was so refreshing meeting her.

Because she just has such a big heart, like you can just see she is so sweet and she just really cares.

Her generosity.

I've never, like, I haven't seen many people that have this like generosity where they just like care about other people and they want to make sure like they're always looking out for other people. But yeah, she's such a sweet girl, like such a nice girl, so easy going, just like yeah, yeah, just normal, just easy going.

When I saw you guys hanging out, I was thinking, like, Okay, so they're both going through breakups.

Surely they would be bonding over that.

Yes, definitely, Like we we spoke about it a lot. I think our experiences were super super different, and I think a lot more people were definitely like putting maybe pressure on them to get back together.

I don't know, I don't know, that's just what I noticed.

Like I feel like it's always like and people have really invested in their relationship, like I saw teatogs that were all these videos of them and stuff, and I was like, Okay, where's my remixes?

Like no, but I was like, okay, but where's my footage? Huh? I know.

But so people, it would be a lot of pressure for her, whereas I feel like I had it at a lot smaller scale, and I think people, I don't know, I think, yeah, people, I didn't actually get any too much pressure or hate from the outside. It was actually nice because I was scared of that. I was like, oh my god, people are going to think I'm like some like person that's like either cheated or I've like, you know, like I'm like trying to run away from I don't know. I just had an idea that people

All right, well, on that, shall we talk about the breakup next and what happened between you and Josh.

Let's say that.

It was unfortunate to hear about you and Josh breaking up. You guys, did your posts on your separate respectful Instagram accounts. Do you want to tell us a bit about what actually happened and what led to the breakup?

Yeah, I mean I can only speak on my experience and I would never like speak on anything that you know, he was going through or any anything about him. So I guess when I think, there's so many factors to what led us to getting to a point where we decided to go our separate ways, and I think it all stems down to that we are so so different, like even now, like even when we were to other people would be like, wow, you guys, like are so different, which can be a really great thing in a lot

Almost and that's important in a relationship.

As well, and it is so important, and now I realize that, like there is some non negotiables that if it doesn't work for you and you're not getting what you need, or you're not even able to give what you usually given in a partner like or you're you know, because there's certain things you might suppress because you're not feeling comfortable to do certain things or give certain things of you because you're not it's not reciprocated or you

The one I want.

So going into it in with that kind of headspace where you're like, oh my god, like I like this person so much. I've been watching him for six weeks straight live like, and then you go in for that person, You're like, Okay, I'm gonna like put everything I can because I want him to like me back.

So then I went in there. He liked me back, thank god.

But I would do little things to check in if he was interested in me, and which back then I was like twenty two, I was a lot more insecure and like I would say little things like oh, I can see you being my boyfriend on the outside, and you go really and I'd be like yeah, and there'll be nothing back, and then I would have a tantrum and cry for an hour in the corner.

I'll be like, he doesn't want me, he doesn't want me.

So then that built another you know, level of like me feeling like I wasn't good enough. So then I just kept on it, kept on being like that, which was not his fault at all, And of course he did give me reassurance in the way.

That he could.

So it started off like that, and then coming out, everyone was like obsessed with him and there was guys that would say.

You're punching Amelia movie what.

But I had this like storyline in my head that I was not worthy of him and I was so lucky to be with him, which no matter who it is, if it's a fucked up celebrity or whatever, like if I was dating Johnny Depp, like it doesn't matter, like no one is better or not like it should be and you should feel balanced and feel.

Worthy of it. And that was an issue in me.

I just never felt like I was I deserved his love or anything.

And then it just was a disaster from the beginning.

But we worked on a lot, like we went to therapy, and we both both of us grew so much as people. I let down a lot of insecurities, I trusted his love more, and I got to a place where I knew he loved me and he knew I loved him, but at the core of it, I think we still were so different.

So yeah, it took me.

A long long time, but I felt like there was a lot of things that kept popping up.

We would have the same kind of fights, and.

Yeah, we just really just yeah, we just grew apart as people. And but the moment that we, like said, I was like, oh my God, like I feel like myself again. Like I feel like I know who I am again. I know what I care about, I know what my values are, I know what I want from a person. I know what kind of person I am in a relationship, and I know what I can give. And I just I've never felt more myself again.

I'm so happy for you.

So you said before that at the side of the relationship with Josh, you struggled, I guess to get validated by him. Did that continue throughout the whole relationship or did slowly that change.

Yeah.

I think it was a mixture of I reckon it's I don't know, maybe this isn't the correct percentage ninety percent me of like being super I'm just I was such a different person and then I was so deeply insecure.

I just had no self worth.

So it was that combined with someone that naturally doesn't, you know, express their love, it's just a recipe for disaster.

So definitely along the way we both learned.

I learned to accept his love and I learned to feel relaxed in it, and he also learned to show it. So at the start, I think it was you're still in the honeymoon phase and you're having so much fun with the other person, but they still so many doubts. But maybe there was also doubts because we weren't the right match, like we were mismatched. Like of course there were so many things about us that were matched, but I think deep down we were mismatched at the end of the day.

And I think that's the crazy thing about Love Island is you can meet someone and I feel this way as well. You can meet someone who you really get along with and you enjoy hanging out with, and you meet them in this holiday, glamorized environment, and it does You're right, Like when you said that, I really resonated with It really puts them on a pedestal. But a lot of the time, you know, it is a mismatch.

Was just it was just not in it.

And you know, I think, speaking just from personal experience, I felt like there was a lot of pressure to stay together. So my question to you, I guess, is did you feel that same pressure.

Yeah.

I've thought a lot about this because a lot of people have said that to me, and a lot of people have said, oh, you must have stayed together, like because of the show and you were the last couple and stuff. And I think the biggest pressures I had was that I wanted it to work so deeply, because I am the type of person when I commit to something, I am one hundred percent, I leave no stone unturned, like I would do anything to make it work because I just wanted it to work with him.

And when I'm committed.

To something, like I say, I said this the other day to someone, I was like, I've been vegan for nine years and I've almost lost my reasons to be vegan, just because I've been doing it for so long. But when I commit to something, I don't sometimes I don't even know why I'm doing it. No, I do know I love animals, but I'm like, my passion for it might drop, but I still commit stay to it, and I still make sure it works.

So I tried.

Everything with him, like I did not want to give up because I was like, I love this person, I want to make it work.

But in that I lost love for myself. So yeah, I don't know.

It's hard for me to pinpoint if it was prescuoreus from the outside. I think if anything, I was scared of the break when I got to the point of where I knew we wanted to break up.

I was scared that people would hate me or judge me, or think I cheated or think I did something horrible. That was the only thing.

But I definitely didn't stay with him for the outside because I always believe like happy, like it doesn't matter hap happiness and love is the most important thing.

And that's why I kept pushing to make it work.

I was like, therapy this that, let's do this holiday, let's move in. And I think even moving in, I was like, oh my god, if we move in, that means he really loves me, he wants to be with me. Like, if we do this, that means he wants to be with me. If he's going to propose to me, that means, you know, it's going to fix everything. And I think that's also an issue in itself because those kind of things aren't going to fix the relationship.

If anything, it should strengthen it, I guess.

But you shouldn't want to do it too, because it means like that's they want to be with you.

And yeah, it was. I was just obsessed with the idea of him wanting to be with me.

Well, look, speaking of cheating, because you mentioned that before, there were rumors going around that obviously before you guys broke up, you had gone to Coachella, there was rumors that you had met this guy in La. Do you want to clarify that for us?

Yeah, So I had a really big issue with that, just because the type of person I am, I am so ridiculously loyal, like to a point where even if I was so mentally checked out, I would never even flirt with someone like when I'm in a relationship, I'm just like tunnel vision for that person.

So it did really bother me. And I know that I heard like on his breakup podcast, because he's got his own podcast. He was like, you know, like she went to Coachella.

People were saying, like, maybe she cheated. I don't know, And I'm like, you know, babes, babe, do.

You know me?

Where did they get this rumor from? Because obviously there's no smoke without fire.

I think that people liked to start drama, and I think, like, what better drama than like, you know, this girl that's like living her life in America and at Coachella and with all the girls and then her boyfriend's at home.

Like it's such that is fucking juicy.

But there was I remember when I was I remember when I was in America.

I'd only been there for two days. I was working. I wasn't even at Coachella yet, I was doing photo shoots. I've been there two days. Do you think this girl has enough time? I was jet lagged.

Mommy needs to sleep off that jet lag. But I was literally in a.

Photo shoot, like I was in a hotel room and a photoshit. They two were.

Being there and people were already like commenting stuff like I heard she cheated. I heard this, And I was like, at least if say, if someone saw.

Me at Coachella.

I was talking to a guy, which I didn't even talk to any boys there. I watched I watched other people. I watched my friends talk to boys, and I was like, so, like that would have made sense, Like if not made sense, but that would have been a better story if I was at Coachella and they're.

Like, yeah, I heard it Coachella, but I wasn't even there yet. I was like, babe, I'm fresh off this flight, I'm at this photo shoot. There's no time. There's no time.

Do you and Josh stay in communication.

When we first broke up, we did. It was actually quite hard because we still had the apartment and we had like a few more like.

Maybe five more weeks of our least.

So I was going in and out of the country the work and stuff. I think that's what was happening. And yeah, and then I had a trip plan with my friends. I can't remember, but so I was going in and out. So then each week I was away, he would stay in and then we would take turns. I would stay in Airbnb's in Sydney, and that was like the hardest part of it because we just had to take turns, and then we would sometimes bump into each other, and seeing your ex freshly after you break up.

The worst idea because there's so.

Much like heat still and one person might say something online that can be like interpreted one way. So it was not like a good idea. Definitely not a good idea to see like bump into each other.

But now, no, we don't speak.

In the breakup post that you actually put up about Josh, there was a couple of things that stood out. You said, we portrayed a happy, healthy relationship, but there was challenging moments that we didn't share. Can you share some of those challenging moments with us?

Now?

Yeah, I think there was times where we would just disagree on like certain things that maybe were.

Like important like to me or important to him.

And I think as well because we were both you know, in the industry and in the same roles as well. I think it's quite hard because you spent a lot of time time with them and you know, we work together.

We did everything together.

So yeah, there was just times where and stem ling back to how I was saying, we're just so different, we would disagree with so many things, but we would also not on we just were on different pages with things, like we just the way we communicated was so different as well.

So we were just so different.

So I just wasn't getting what I needed from a partner. And yeah, we were just super different.

Is this as well? Like you'd see I'd see you guys post tiktoks and you guys like looked really happy, and were you like also advertising this thing that you guys are in this happy relationship, But like behind the scenes, there was like a lot more like that. We didn't see like arguing or like that miscommunication because I feel like I don't I don't like like my ex would want to post happy stories and that, and I'm like, no,

No, I couldn't agree more.

And I think towards the end, like the last few months, I remember I.

Just couldn't post him because I just felt.

Like it was fake from my end, And I remember we spoke about it. He actually said to me like, oh, you haven't posted me for a while, like you I think maybe in his head he thought that I was trying to portray as single or something.

But it wasn't that. It's that I just felt like it was really fake.

Like I just felt like I can't pretend I'm happy because I am so like deeply depressed, Like I just don't feel happy. I just I'm crying every day. I just I feel lost. I don't know who I am. And it wasn't like his fault. It was just that I think I was just realizing that I we were just went right for each other, and that I was like lost in who I was, because when you're dating the wrong person, you just feel it's like confusing because you're like, I'm not even being my true's self and

Speaking of Josh, he is in New yorka for Love Island at the moment.

Can you tell us more about that?

Well, he told me before because we were still together, and obviously the year prior we both participated in after party and then he actually went to the villa and was interviewing everyone before they went on, so he was already working on it. So in my understanding, I assume he's working on it again, but I have someone had messaged me like a journalist, saying, did you hear that he's going on as a contestant.

And I went, no, he's not.

I don't know way where we were really, so look, I don't know what you guys have heard, but I would love to know. No, I don't like obviously, I would be so happy for him because I know like and TV is like something that we both love to do. So yeah, I mean, I mean I would be shocked, only because I remember posting all my stories when they're saying something.

Like, oh, I would do TV again.

I wouldn't do Love Island Australia, but I'll do TV again. And then he thought that I meant I would do UK Love Iland something, and he thought it was quite disrespectful, which it probably was because I said it quite maybe a month or two after the breakup, so it probably was too soon and a bit insensitive of me.

But yeah, I would be really shocked.

If he did it, only because he got a little bit annoyed that he thought that I was saying I wanted to do it again.

Let's just say hypothetically, Josh is on this season of Love Island, which is unconfirmed, but we I mean a journalist has contacted you about it. We've heard through the grape vine that he is on the show. How would that make you feel if you like see him like or hear about him finding love in there?

Yeah, I think he would actually make me feel really happy if he found someone.

I think, like, as.

Weird as it sounds, I almost want like I there's nothing more I want. Like when we first broke up, there was nothing more I could imagine. I was like, I cannot imagine you with someone else like that feeling.

It makes me feel sick.

Like you know, when you you're so like besotted by someone, You're like I, even though you know it's not right, You're like, I just I can't see you with someone else. I don't like you almost don't want them to be with someone else at like when you're in a relationship with them, obviously because they're yours. Now I've come to a place where I am hoping, I'm like, please, like I actually want him to be with someone else, just because I.

Want him to be with the right person.

I want him to be with someone that you know has the same love language as him. I want him to be with someone that is going to give him everything that I couldn't and he can give them, you know, and they work together and they're mesh and he's happy, you know, he's We both in that relationship done so much work on ourselves as partners. So I just think with the right person, he will be a really good partner. So I actually am like hoping, whether it's Love Island

I hope he does soon.

Will you watch the show one hundred percent? What as if?

It will be a little bit weird, And because I know him so.

Well, I'll be like, no, that's a lie.

No no, no, no, no, no, Like there'll probably be parts where I'm like, absolutely not, but I will. It will be so entertaining for me. And because I'm at a place where there is literally no feelings anymore, like there is no, it's almost a yeah, it's it's bizarre because I spent four years in love with someone and now I am not.

I'd be so jealous.

Really yeah, no, I would find it. The only things that would be weird, I wouldn't. I would probably look away when he's kissing stuff, but I would still find it entertaining.

I would. I don't know, it's that crazy. Do you just know that I'm one hundred percent over him.

Let's jump straight back in. So, how long have you been single for? Now?

Then?

Okay, so.

I think it was April we broke up, so May, June, July, August, September, like five yeah, five almost six figs gone really quick, but we didn't announce it straight away.

How long did you wait?

It was over a month.

I'm pretty sure it was, like and I was towards I remember saying like I had my I had it ready to go.

I was like, I just wanted it to be one hundred percent done.

I want people to stop asking me in person or stop messaging me.

Why has Josh not.

Been on your stories? Why are you in Bali with your friends without him? Like where's Josh? And I'm like, oh my god, like leave me alone? So and also I felt awkward every time. I I don't like lying.

So when people at events and stuff like if we Josh today, yeah I don't know, like you, I was like, yeah, he's at home from I don't know.

And also it's like, as silly as it is, it's another step of the breakup. When you have a public relationship, you have to consider that because I mean, we could have just not told anyone, but then we also kind of owe it to everyone because we are so public, so you kind of do need to if you're going to update them with every other aspect, you need to kind of let people know. Like by the way this is ended, like like, I it's crazy that I have to tell you guys, but it's that's the reality of it.

Did you feel relieved when you finally got to put that post up, just kind of like cementing the fact that you were once again single.

Yeah, I think it was more like, oh, okay, now everything is one hundred percent, like there's not really any turning back. Like this is like because I think before you kind of make it public, it's like almost when you tell your group of friends that you've gone through the breakup, there is still that part that's like, well, maybe I can still go back, like maybe because you don't want to go too much back and forth, like guys, we broke up, No, we didn't, we broke up.

We didn't.

So when you make it so like public, it's like telling it's like telling all your friends at school, like it's officially done. It's like telling your parents it's done. So yeah, it kind of cemented everything. I was like, Okay, there's no going back. This is the next chapter for me, and.

Yeah, yeah, did your dms flood with some guys messaging you after that?

There was like a few. There was one that slid in that's still very much in my life.

Is this the one that you may have soft launched the other day on Instagram with a little black love heart?

Yes? Yeah, so whold on this?

Are you in a new relationship?

Look at the moment, I am committed to one hundred and percent one person.

This is what I mean. I'm so loyal when I'm.

I'm so happy for you. This is so exciting.

You've had the exclusivity chat.

Yeah. Yeah, And I am like that kind of person.

Like I've realized, like even when I was in Europe, I just I wasn't because I met him before I actually met him before I went to Europe. And that's another reason I just was like, I'm not I just I'm not interested in any Like there's when I've found something I really like I'm just like tunnel vision for it, and I just I yeah, so, you know, I did

Different person, like I'm you know, I've grown up a lot since from the beginning of that other relationship.

So how long has he been your boyfriend for?

So we've been seeing each other?

So we met about three weeks before I went to Europe.

So I think we've been we've yeah, we've been.

Like I've been pretty much committed to him for like three months.

Yeah.

Do you think that meeting him kind of pushed you over the edge to potentially break up with Josh?

No, I met him before I went to Europe. Oh my god. No, No, yeah, I see what you're saying. No, No, no, I am no. No. Oh good.

Yeah, I think I've met him about maybe two months after we'd.

Broken up, and then I saw him, Yeah, so h for another month.

Yeah that's the right time. I'm so I met him two months after we broke up. Then I saw him for a month before I went to Europe. That I was in Europe for a month, and then I now I've been back home for a month. So yeah, we've been seeing each other for just over three months.

Can we know who this guy is?

Like?

Does he have a name?

No, he's not an instavoy, he's not like on socials, which is like amazing, And I did not well, I mean, whoever, Like, if the right person come up and they had a social media platform, I wouldn't like, I wouldn't be like, oh no, no no, but I definitely like, I think now I want to make sure my job is completely different to my partner. I want to make sure our lives are completely different. I want to have completely different schedules so we're not like on top of each other.

Now it makes sense why you don't care that Josh could potentially be on Love Island. Now it's all making sense because I was like, surely she can't be okay with this.

I was thinking if he does go on there, that'd be the perfect time to hard launch your boyfriend.

Now that's your publicist.

Perfect.

Yeah, he's like, so is a timeline? This will be really good.

I think he is a lot more private as well, so I'm probably going to.

Keep him a little bit incognito.

But are you thinking of a hard launch, because I mean we did see the soft launch.

Is there going to be a hard launch soon?

I think I need to.

I mean, I one hundred of aercent see of future with this person. Like, I'm like, I have the best feeling about it, so.

But I yeah, and I get.

So excited because a part of me is like keep it private, Amelia, and then another part's like, ah, so I don't.

I don't know.

Yeah, I'm like, maybe I'll just keep posting like sunrise pics of.

His back.

For now. How old is he?

He's twenty seven, I'm twenty six. I'm twenty six, so we're pretty much the same age.

Yeah.

Nice, that's good. Oh, I'm happy for you can tell how bubbly and how excited you get when you talk about it. It's cute.

Yeah, I can.

I can tell that you're really happy. It's beautiful to see.

Oh you're so cute. Yeah, I'm really really happy.

But you know what, I would have been happy with or without, like I was already. I think in myself I'm happier. Me trying to like overcompensate. I'm like, guys, I haven't.

Rived on to Greek.

I think there's a bit of guilt for me. I don't know why, but I just feel a little bit like, Oh. I think there always is that kind of feeling when you've you know, moved on.

I feel like after a breakup, you're not really looking to meet the one, and I guess that's like the that's when everyone says you meet them when you're not looking. So it kind of makes sense that you would have met someone who's amazing and you know, you guys are super compatible. It makes sense to me, And I don't think you should feel guilty about it.

No, no, no, I know, I know. I always I'm always going like this back and forth. I'm like, oh, yah, that's great.

O no, no, no, naturally, what are his love languages?

I think they are words about for me, So that's my top one as well. Then it would be quality time or maybe it's quality time first, then I think access service, physical touch, and the last one would be gifts.

So it's ticking your boxes and for what you look for.

So no praises for me, gives and I ah, no, gifts is my last one as well, So it actually we work very well together.

Yeah, I'm so happy for you.

Look really truly happy, and I guess that's all we can want, you know, for our friends. So it's beautiful to see you absolutely glowing. Where do you see yourself like in the next few years, Like, do you think that this guy is the one?

I hope. So I think in the next few years. It's conflicting for me because I really want to focus on work.

I want to focus on creating my own business. I want to focus on doing all these endeavors that I want to work. So I mean, at the end of the day, I don't think a partner distraction or anything. I think they can compent your life. But I think in terms of my mindset at the moment, I'm definitely like so grateful that I've met someone incredible, but I do want to I am very like in my mind right now business like almost money focused.

I'm like, okay, what can I do to set myself up in the future.

So right now I have a feeling the next few years are going to be my hustling years.

That will come along with an amazing partner. So hopefully we'll see.

So the next few years I think definitely business orientated, Like I'm I want to have my own business, I want to do this, I want to do that.

So yeah, definitely work is my in my goggles.

Well, we are supporting you here it where's your head at. We've absolutely loved chatting to you. Thank you so much for sharing all of your exciting news with us, Like we genuinely are so happy for you, and we can't wait to see what happens in the future with you, with your businesses, with your relationship.

We can't wait for the hard launch. Lots of exciting things, I know.

Thank you guys so much for having me. It was like, this is like my favorite podcast I've ever done. It was so much fun.

Bye guys, Bye,