30 THINGS I WISH I KNEW BEFORE TURNING 30

I want the fairy tale. I want the prince charming.

She how do I put this? Isn't a fan of my kissing.

Style with the boyfriend and girlfriend for about twelve hours. He's in a trash bit. He's non recyclable, catching hemmer.

I love being love. I love love. On today's episode of Where's Your Head, we are celebrating Anna's thirtieth birthday. Wow, Happy birthday, Anna.

Where's Your Head at is a podcast that talks all things relationships, breakups, reality TV, trending shows, and everything in between.

This is your new go to destination for laughs, gossip, intimate details, advice, and much more. Happy birthday to you. No happy birthday, Anna, everyone listening, make sure you show us some love. Jump on our socials which her happy birthday. I know she's struggling, she's turned thirty. It's a real you'll come to moment, isn't it? Anna?

I actually can't believe that I finally hit the big three to zero, like massive, No more twenties.

It's a new chapter, and I'm actually excited.

I feel like I've learned so much in the last decade, and I guess that's why we wanted to do this. Birthday Special Edition episode because I want to share all of that knowledge.

Yes, you are my go to for advice. I know your friends and family, our listeners all ask you for advice. So that's the perfect way I think to celebrate your thirtieth. Give them your top thirty things you've learned before thirty.

Yeah, I'm excited.

So Anna, how are you going to celebrate your thirtieth? Has Michael got anything exciting planned for you? Or is it all surprised? Do you know anything?

I think there's a.

Lot of little surprises here and there. I'm having a nice lunch with one of my best friends. I'm actually doing something very out of my comfort zone today, but I'm not going to share that until a later date, but definitely stay tuned for that. We're going out out for a nice birthday celebration with my parents and Michael, which I'm really excited about. And then on Saturday, I'm actually having a white boat party, so everyone has to wear white. It's going to be a really fun time.

You're coming, I definitely am. I'm excited. I've got my kit plan, have you Yeah, it's just white. Yeah, yeah, tick, I'm really excited for this white party.

Have you got me a birthday Finally enough you say that.

Actually, I completely forgot all about it till Jen reminded me literally like a day or two ago, and I.

Was like two minutes ago.

Yeah, I was like fuck. Actually, on the driving you were sending each other photos of what we think. I'll just give you a little hint.

Oh, I get a hint. I'm excited.

I know how much you like sentimental stuff, so a bit of it is sentimental. Yeah.

Actually, to be honest, I actually did not think Matt was going to get me anything.

Like I was like, there's no way I'm getting a present from Matt.

To be honest, I would have remembered it like literally probably the last minute if it lost it for Jen. So shout out to.

JENK thanks Jenny for reminding him.

Yeah.

So I'm having a boat party. All of my friends and family are going to be there. We have some people flying in from Sydney, so it's going to be a really memorable moment. And I was talking to Instagram a little bit because I was unsure if I wanted to have a party, and then I was like, you know what, fuck it.

I turned thirty once.

It's been a pretty shitty two years, Like, let's celebrate. And so I'm really excited to really start my thirties with a bang.

I can't wait to dive into some alcohol and the open the sea. Where are we going? Just in the docklands, not out to see I'm going to do a little too well. You said that you've got a list of thirty things you've learned before turning thirty. What would you give your teenage self thirteen? Let's say, what would you say to them? What would it be? What would that advice be? Fuck so much to say just one real quick one.

Look, I'll give you a couple.

So I think the first thing I would say is don't worry, Like, stop worrying. Everything that's meant to be will be. Probably just live in the moment and stop racing towards the finish line, because there is no finish line. Like, just make the most of every moment. And I know when I was at school, I was always like, oh, I can't wait until I finish school, and then it was I can't wait until I finish UNI. And we're always chasing something, and I think sometimes it's good to

Down, especially cheat loved ones.

Yeah, and then I think probably the last thing I would say is always be kind to other people. I feel like I get so much out of life because I always try and treat everyone equally, everyone the way I would like to be treated. And you never regret being kind to someone, You only regret being mean.

Are there some good tips right there? I'm excited to hear your top thirty things you've learned before turning thirty? Yeah, but on that, did you have any goals to hit before you're thirty or have you have you achieved them? Or is that a touchy subject?

Yes? I literally thought I was going to be married with two kids at this point. Like I think we all have this image and envision our life at thirty to have all of.

These ducks in a row in boxes ticked off.

And I know that sometimes people's lives look like their ducks are all in a row. But I think we're all just learning. We're all just kind of going with the flow. No one really knows what they're doing. And yeah, I'm not married, I don't have kids, and I think that my life has turned out even better than I could have imagined.

And yeah, I think if that's what you.

Wanted for yourself, not holding yourself to it and just kind of like going with the flow, that's what makes you the happiest.

Yeah, we'll hypothetically say you had kids at what twenty eight, twenty seven, to have kids before thirty, didn't experience the stuff you have over the last three years, you wouldn't have met Michael, you wouldn't be in the place you are, So yeah, I don't think you would regret anything like that.

Yeah, it worked out well.

Like I really can look back on my twenties and really feel like I have said yes to every opportunity.

I have no regrets.

I think everything really panned out the way I wanted it, and I've lived a really full, happy life.

So yeah, bring on the thirties.

I know I spoke to you a couple of weeks ago, and you were sort of like having a realization, like a come to Jesus that you were turning thirty and you were a bit scared. Has that still there or is it now You've come to terms with it and you're ready to face the thirties.

Yeah. I think a couple of months ago, I had this moment where I was like, holy fuck, I'm not in my twenties anymore. I never thought that I would leave my twenties. I think I thought that I would eternally be in my twenties. And then that realization really hit home hard, and I spoke to my Instagram sorry about it, and I had so many people reach out to me.

And it's crazy because I feel like no one really talks about this, but when you're.

Twenty nine heading to thirty, you do have this existential crisis and you're like, shit, like did I do enough in my twenties?

Am I upset with how my twenties went.

There's just all of these crazy thoughts that go through your head. And I think I felt a lot of comfort in hearing from other people, even people in their thirties, forties, fifties, whatever. So many people reached out and they were like, this is normal. We all go through this moment on the cusp of an age, like a twenty nine to thirty, thirty nine to forty, whatever it might.

Be, and you go, shit, did I do everything I.

Needed to do in that decade? Am I proud of myself? Could I have done better? What can I learn from it? And I think it's really good for personal growth and development to have those moments, because otherwise you just cot through life. I mean, if you were going to be twenty forever just being like, who gives a shit, I'm in my twenties still, I can do whatever, And I think sometimes you need to take that step over and

I'm ready to smash it.

I have so many goals that I want to achieve in this decade and I'm just excited now.

Big ten years ahead for Anna. I mean, I I'm three years off the Big three to zero, So to me, I'm going to be twenty forever in my twenties forever.

Matt still in that mindset, Yeah, okay, he'll come to me crying and weeping soon.

In a couple of years from now. All right, Well, so you've come to terms of turning thirty. Let's jump into it and see what tips and advice you have for everyone.

Let's do it.

All right, So let's start with the dating tips and advice you have. Let's start with number one.

Okay, number one is no response is the biggest response.

Took me a while to realize that.

Yeah, I feel like we don't learn that early enough. We need to be schooled on that more. That's why I wanted that to be number one. Yeah, it's a big one. Number two, never give someone credit for work they haven't done. I e.

Never fake an orgasm.

No, never, And I think I was shocked to realize that a lot of people do, like almost everyone, And I just think like, it's all about communication and relationships, and yeah, don't give that credit if someone's.

Not put in the work.

I've never had anyone fake one.

I'm sure you have, Matt.

I'm sure.

Madd just loves the performance. Probably even GUYI fuilled up that ego.

I put myself over all right.

Number three, don't spend your time in insecure relationships. Either trust them one hundred percent or don't bother massive massive. We've both been in insecure relationships, and it is toxic.

It sucks toxic.

If you don't feel like you can trust someone, you shouldn't be in a relationship with them.

Number four, if.

Someone wants to be with you, you won't question it.

One hundred percent. I agree with that.

You just know, like, if you're questioning things and being like, well, why are they doing this, why they're acting in that way, why they're out till six am with the boys, it's probably because they don't want to be with you, And that's a hard pill to swallow.

A bit trust someone's actions.

Number five, if.

Someone ghosts, you respect the dead and move the fuck on.

I have to agree with this one hundred percent. I struggle when someone would used to ghost me. I'd send them that because I'm I think that'd be more my ego more than yeah. I'd send them another text and be like, did you die? Yeah, Hey, you alive? So your Instagram posts? If I was keen on if there was a relationship was dead, I'd just let it be ghosted.

But yeah, but you know what, when someone ghosts you, people go, oh, but they haven't communicated with me, And I think the key point to remember is they have communicated with you.

They've communicated that you're not even worth a text.

Back to number one, no response is the biggest response, exactly, all right. Number six, You're.

Going to break people's hearts along the way, and what other people think of you is none of your business.

Yeah.

I think in dating we get really called up in Oh my god, they must not like me. And if they don't like me, their friends probably don't like me. And I think it's really important to really take a step back and realize when you're in the dating world, you're going to hurt some feelings.

Number seven.

Stop ignoring red flags just because they're hot, Matt.

It's undirected you for girls to me or from me to girls.

You should stop ignoring.

Yeah, I caught myself there a couple of time. Number eight.

You'll never meet anyone sitting at home watching TV. If you want to meet someone, you need to put yourself out there. A lot of my friends do this. They're like, but I'm still single, and I'm like, but you're still at home watching TV. If you want to meet someone, you need to put yourself out there.

Do you mean going to like bars to try and meet someone, or do you mean like going on dating apps, because I think both of them you're not going to meet the right person at either one of those. I think they come into your life at like random, weird stages. They do.

But sometimes you need those in between people.

And you can meet those in between people at a bar, at a nightclub socializing.

Someone could meet you and be like, oh my god, you'd be perfect for my single friend.

Like, the more you're out there, the more chance there is, and the more the likelihood of you meeting someone is going to be.

The more opportunities you're opening, the more doors are being opened. Correct, all right?

Number nine, stop waiting for guys to approach you.

If you like what you see, go and introduce yourself.

Massive one, because as a guy myself, there is nothing hotter, well I think more attractive than a girl with confidence who comes up and talks to you.

That's how I met Michael, and that's how I met the guy who I was in a six and a half year relationship with, and he actually said to me, I would have never come up and said hi to you because I felt intimidated. So if I wouldn't have made that first move, it wouldn't have happened. Number ten, stop making yourself two available. Never cancel plans on friends and family just to please your partner, Like, stop putting your partner first, stop revolving your life around them.

Okay, that's a big one. Number eleven.

Set boundaries easily and quickly in relationships. I think we all fall into this trap of trying to please your partner or trying to please someone who you're seeing, and you forget to set those basic boundaries that you need to feel happy in a relationship.

Did you feel like you set them earlier with Michael?

Definitely?

And I think that's why our relationship has been really successful because I was not afraid to put those boundaries in place. And I think when I look back to previous guys who I might have dated before Michael, like I wasn't really that serious about them, So those boundaries won't set one hundred percent. And the boundies that I had never put up were cross but they had no idea because I'd.

Never set them.

I set the boundaries really early with Jen as well, or what we both did. We both set our boundaries and we both respected them, so we have a healthy relationship now. Yeah, So that's a very good point.

Number twelve everyone has different love languages, and just because someone expresses love in a certain way doesn't mean they receive it in that way. I think I learned about love languages way too late in life. Same I reckon maybe in the last like three or four years I learned about love languages, and it's such a big thing, and it's really crucial and critical in building relationships with people.

Yeah, I agree one hundred percent. Like if you click and have the same love language, it's giving receiving. As your partner, you're very lucky. But it's not all the time that people have that, so you've got to work around it and find a way that you're both satisfied on that as well as I've learned how people deal with stuff, your partner deals with stuff, because Jen and I have found into a trap where we both deal with stuff a lot differently, and that's been struggle. Yeah,

So thirteen is know your worth and don't lower your expectations ever.

I think we've all been guilty of this.

We see someone that could potentially be a match for us, but they're not quite there, and then we just take a few of our expectations away so that they can fit the mold or fit the box that we want them to be in, and this doesn't work out.

Never settle, Never settle, all right? Number fourteen, Anna.

Stop searching for mister right and become the best version of you because you're in a lifelong relationship with yourself.

Don't look for mister right and make yourself missus right. Is that what you're trying to say?

That is what I'm trying to say.

Number fifteen.

Self love must always be stronger than your need and want to be loved. I know that you are guilty of this, man, I've been guilty of this.

Self love must come before everything. And sometimes we get a bit desperate and.

We just want and crave human affection, human touch, human love, and sometimes you need to go no, that's not for me.

I'm going to focus on myself.

I know this sounds cliche, but you need to learn to love yourself before you love anyone else. Yeah, for sure, number.

Sixteen, Stop going out of your way to impress your partner.

Just be you.

There's only one of you, and you don't want them to fall in love with someone else. You want them to fall in love with the person you are.

That's fair enough, But we all know that when you start dating someone and you start like seeing someone, you're not completely showing them all those.

Hidden of course, but you yeah, like there's definitely things you might like hide for later, like a bit of crazy at the bag, but in the same breath, like, don't want to show them a totally different person to who you are. Like even just something as simple as if someone's like, oh, I love peas and you hate peas, and you're like, I love peace too, and then three months into the relationship they're like, I thought you liked peace.

I think that's the key point to that number seventeen.

If you have non negotiables, don't compromise so you don't end up alone. A lot of the things I've learned is about not compromising who you are, your position, your self, love, your own growth, just to be with a partner. And I think we all do that, so I definitely wanted to make that point clear.

Good point Number eighteen, How do.

You expect there to be change if you've not made any changes to yourself?

What does that mean change with other people?

Yeah? I think if you keep having the same relationship problems, and I know you know, we can all have toxic relationships, we can be with partners who don't align with us. But if there's something that you continue to do in relationships, like I used to be extremely jealous, I'm still jealous, but I've definitely worked on.

That a lot.

I think it's mainly just about self growth, like keep improving yourself, keep working on yourself and being the best version of yourself.

That's being self aware, and that's understanding that you can't bring in the same stuff to another relationship. If it didn't work for another one, there's no reason for it to work with another person, and it's just going to make the same conflict and make the same dramas I feel, Yeah for sure. Number nineteen.

Stop running away from hard conversations. Sometimes the truth is unpleasant, but it sets you free.

Do you do that a lot still?

I think specifically I was talking about when I wanted to end a relationship, and it actually took me six months to get there. Mentally, it was just a real struggle. It was a long term relationship, so you'd.

Already checked out for six months, but you're still.

But I was still physically there. Yeah, And I think that's rough. Sometimes hard conversations are so terrifying and so scary. But if you truly are committed to someone or committed to a relationship or whatever it is, if you just have basic respect for someone, I think it's fair and right to have unpleasant conversations with them so that they know how you're feeling one hundred percent, and hiding and burying those things only makes them just bubble up even more.

And that's what I definitely found.

Well, it's not fair to you or your partner for six months, your inner dialogue is I don't want to be with this person. I just I'm over them, might want to break up with them. Like that's pretty rough.

It's rough, but it's also a tug of war in your head. And it's also caring about someone so much that you don't want to hurt their feelings because you're like, this is going to break their heart, Like.

You said earlier, you're going to break people's.

Hearts exactly why it's in.

There number twenty.

Breakups push you to do the biggest personal growth, So don't run away from them, embrace them. I know that we've both struggled with this. We all hate going through a breakup. They fucking suck the worst, But sometimes not sometimes all the time. From me personally, I've had such amazing personal growth after a breakup. That's when we excel and we do great things and we're pushed out of our comfort zone.

Well, if you're not coming out of a breakup without any personal growth, then you've wasted your time. I feel you need to learn and grow from the mistakes that you've made in that relationship and become a better person for sure.

And I think like when you are going through a breakup and you're at rock bottom, reminding yourself that you're about to really do amazing things and have this crazy growth and crazy new experiences that you would have never had in that relationship is really imperative to that breakup status.

All right, So next we'll be listening to Anna's tips on how to deal with anxiety. I know I'll be listening to this have some bad anxiety, so I'm excited for these tips. All right, so we know you deal with anxiety pretty bad, so does myself. What are some stuff you've learned and some tips that you can give our listeners on how to deal with anxiety. Obviously these tips aren't going to stop anxiety, but they're the best ways on how to cope with it.

Yeah, I've only made three for this, and they're specifically in relation to relationships, but definitely can be implemented into everyday life. So number twenty one my favorite number. It's all about perception. So metaphorically, if you're jumping off a cliff, you're only falling if you believe you're falling.

Otherwise you're flying.

So basically what it's saying is, if something's really bad and you're about to hit rock bottom and you feel like you're falling and you're getting deeper and deeper in your anxiety, if you change your perception, you could essentially be flying.

It's how you perceive things.

Love that one, Anna. Number twenty two.

Thinking of the past is depression, thinking of the future is anxiety, but living in the moment is happiness. I mean, we've touched on this one before. If you have regrets and you think about the past and continue to let that plague your mind, you can get really sad and down about that.

When you look into the future and you.

Stress and worry about the what ifs, what could be, that's very anxiety inducing, and I think living in the moment is where you can truly feel happy.

Why do they call it the present, Anna, because it's a gift. I knew where it was going with that number twenty three.

Stop worrying about how you look in bed, focus on enjoyment during sex. So basically I know that a lot of my friends, a lot of people I know, and even me to a certain degree, during sex, people worry about I need to sack in my tummy, I need to look a certain way, And I think letting all of that anxiety and worry go and just focusing on your own pleasure.

I watched a TikTok the other day and it was saying It's said, a man isn't looking at what you think he is during sex. So when a girl's thinking insecure about a bit of their body, that man that you're having sex with is not thinking about that.

Yeah, I think confidence speaks volumes. If you're having sex with someone, just own it. I think sometimes faking it till you make it really does work, and once you act confident, then you're like, actually, I really have nothing to worry about. They're not like, oh I see a fat role or like there's a bit of cell you light there.

No guys thinking that.

Yeah.

All right, An, So we're on the final stretcher on the home run. These tips have been amazing for everyone listening at home. I hope you've got a notepad out and you're dropping these down, because I know I have been. I'm definitely going to take some of these and put them into my everyday life. All right. So the next six are for finding happiness. We start with number twenty four.

Always appreciate the little loves in your life.

Just because you're not in a relationship does not mean you're not loved. I think that's a big one that I have struggled with. I think I've always craved like I always had to be seeing someone or always needed a boyfriend, and I think sometimes really just embracing those single moments and really like sinking into it and being like I'm a free person. I can do whatever I want whenever I want. I don't need to check in

Number twenty five.

The universe always has a better plan for you. God, I wish I knew this one earlier. I think at the end of breakhups, I was always like, my life is over, like it will never be the same, He'll never be happy.

Again, ever find anyone again.

I don't even want anyone else. They're the only person for me. I think that is like the wrong thought process. I think every time I've thought that I would never be happy again, I found so much more happiness, a deeper sense of happiness that connects more spiritually with me.

Number twenty six.

Manifesting is real.

Words are your spells, and that's why we call them spelling.

Manifestation is crazy.

I think I believe in it.

Yeah, when I was down and out about myself and I'd just be like life is bad, Da da da, and just be have a very negative vibration. The universe gave me that as soon as I got out of that mind frame. And I wasn't in it for long, mind you, but as soon as I snapped myself out of it and started being more positive and started talking as if I already had all of this stuff that I wanted, and started talking as if my goals were already coming to fruition, That's when the universe started to gift.

Me with those things.

Number twenty seven.

You are who you surround yourself with, so be very careful with who you let in.

Great point.

I think energy is a totally underrated thing, and I think who you let into your energy space really affects you. And I think we learn from other people's behaviors who are in our inner circle, So to be very careful with who you do let in.

Yeah, don't let people suck your energy that aren't worthy of it. Number twenty eight.

Not everyone wants to get married and have kids, so don't project your values onto someone else.

Very good point.

Yeah, I think we're all on our own journey. We're all here for our own purpose and owned reason. And just because you might think that marriaging kids as your purpose doesn't mean that it's someone else's. And I think hitting thirty as well. I mean, I'm not single, but I'm not engaged, not married, don't have kids. I think that's empowering for me, and I think it's empowering for a lot of women. I mean to be honest, I don't really know, Like none of my friends, we're all

Number twenty nine.

This one's similar, but it's slightly different. It's don't push your relationship values onto other people. Everyone again, as I said, runs their own race, like whether that be like someone who wants to have an open relationship, someone who's in a monogamous relationship, someone who might want to do a bit in between, or whatever that looks like for them. I think respecting that because at the end of the day,

Last we've hit number thirty. These tips have been amazing. Number thirty, Take it away.

Whatever is meant for you will not pass you.

I think we said this before on this podcast, and I think it is a massive statement and it's true.

Yeah, I think like people get bogged down in the past and the what if we've said it before. We sleep easy at night knowing that if we break up with someone and they're meant for us, they will find a way back to us. And not just in relationships, but I think in life in general, Like if you didn't get the job that you were going for, it's because something better is coming, something more aligned with you. So that was my last one. Matt, I can't believe I'm thirty.

I can't believe it either, Anna. I mean, you don't look at day over twenty one, twenty two. I told him to say, yeah, no, happy birthday. I hope you have a great day. I'm very excited for this weekend. Yeah, like I said, I am going to be absolutely sending it on the Open Cities for you and your family.

We're gonna reach hat my birthday party very soon. But guys, thank you so much for all the birthday love that I have already received. I really appreciate this community and I'm so excited to be sharing my thirtieth

Birthday with you, Happy birthday, Thanks, bye bye,