Claudia and Francisco: My Parents’ Immigrant Story

long before there was any internet, the MTV videos actually started. Yes, a friend of mine. She didn't want to be alone, so she will not How do you call it when someone she wouldn't be a third wheel at their will? Yes, she was meeting a guide friend. And at the end of the evening, your father came into this place that I didn't see him, he saw me, I think, did you yep? The nod yes, I did to hear. The girls said, have you seen that very blond guy over there?

He's been looking at you? Say yes, I say, we will go to the ladies room to see if he approached you, And in a loud voice, I say, okay, girls. When you come back. We are leaving. Okay did you hear her say that? Oh? Yea, So he approached me. Do you remember what you guys talked about. I think it was a small talk. I guess when you get to know each other. The only thing that I told him is that I really like change, that I am very open to change. No, God, change came into my life.

Which is the perfect segue. Welcome to When You're Invisible. My name is Maria Fernanda. Yes, but I know not everyone can rather are, so it's also find a coming Maria. In today's world, we love to tell stories about people who have reached the top, like people who have achieved positions of cloud wealth power. On this show, I won't be doing that. When You're Invisible is my love letter to the working class and others who are seemingly invisible

in our society. I hope to build a community here that will inspire you to have generous conversations with others that are different from you, conversations that might help you see life in an entirely different way. My parents, they've had to take risks in that pursuit of change. They've more than one time had to sell everything they've more than one time had to completely take a leap of

faith on a job. They burned all their ships, their financial ships, their relationships to be here and to pursue something better. They went from like food stamps when they first got here and then slowly progressed to a comfortable middle class, which they achieved by the time I was about fifteen years old. When you belong to more than one country, more than one culture, and more than one

like socioeconomic background, being in between expands your worldview. When you can relate to people from different places, you just start to see different perspectives. It adds to the stained glass that you are. I think there is a flip side if you're in between. One thing that happens is people don't always know how to peg you. They don't know what you are, so it's very foreign to them, and then it's unsettling sometimes or they are like, how

are you here? And confused by your identity. In this day and age, we have such polarizing media and such strong convictions, but there's also a lack of acknowledgement towards the layers of people and how we change and how we grow as individuals. Sitting down with my parents was an honor and also a little nerve racking. I kind of thought that I would know what they would talk about, but there were a lot of layers to their story that I didn't even know, which I felt surprised by.

And also there were some healing moments. There are questions I asked that I had never gotten to ask before. Let's hoperat it. So question number one, would you guys kind of know? Is coming up? How did you grow up in Mexico? Growing up was very different of my childhood friends. I was a daughter of a single moment that became with of very young at thirty two, with

four children. It was interesting to say the list, and so many times difficult because we had to move with my grandparents that by then they had lost their money in a bad business that my grandfather did, and so we live in a very small apartment where we had just two bedrooms. So we were the four girls sleeping, my mother, my sisters, and I and my brother with my grandparents. But I had fond memories with my first cousins. With your memos, my fondest memories are with them away

from their home. They will take us everywhere you know parks and recreations, So we're very thankful to them because we were able to experience many little childhood moments with them. Being in that apartment in a second floor in the center of the city, where they were not grass areas or anything. It was a little bit tough. And also extra curricular activities were not for us because who will take us, who will pick us up? It was no

way to do that. And I went to a school very far away from where I live, always with scholarships where my mother was an alumni to In this very privileged school, I felt invisible, and my defending mood in that wealthy environment was being the smart one, being on top of my class always so I can be strong in one way. Of course, it was defense mechanisms that I had that back then, I didn't call it that

because I didn't know that. My parents always stressed the importance of education, and my brother and I both used education as a way forward, and it's really interesting to see how that developed in their own lives as kids. Well, my experience was somewhat different in terms of my childhood

and my case. I was the third of upper middle class family in a smaller sitting in Mexico called Duranko, And yeah, one of the funny things in our home that was one of those small towns with a lot of gossips that they said that we were very rich, probably because my grandmother used to have a lot of money. But the fame was that my father was just a little that's the right term. Centric, eccentric, that's the right word,

because we lived very, very frugally. They never really traveled to places, and my father, despite the fact of his low education level, he was successful in almost every business that he studied. Nothing really spectacular, but yeah, people you hear rumors that we were felt the rich, which is hilarious because it's like, I think about that and that's

not what I would have. Yeah, they had enough money to give us a good living, and eventually the money that my grandmother left paid for college for my brother and for me in a private university in Mexico. And our parents both were alive most of our lifetime, and we lived next door to my grandmother, and we had

an upbringing that was fairly rigid in many ways. We always grew up a expectation that we had to be really good students, well behaved children, despite the fact that my father didn't finished primary school until he was in his twenties. His father died when he was six, something similar to Claudia in this case, he was somewhat abandoned in a horphanage at about six or seven years old, so he had a really rough childhood and really rough

teenage time. So the reason he didn't complete school because there was nobody behind him that supported him. But in reality, what was remarkable and my father was that I'm an academic, but probably he read more than I did. In his adult life. He taught himself to read English and he devoured all sorts of books about English. He was really knowledgeable history, politics. He had a hunger for learning despite the fact no education, so he had to work very

early in his years. He did so many different little jobs in the farm and ran chair and even at one time he was smuggling stuff across the Mexico US border. We always ask you, please write your story. We got to know more about it. We could write a book about it. Limited series about the b s Family coming soon.

It's really sweet to think about these two kids growing up in different parts of Mexico and how they met at that bar and a year after the meeting they got married, and two years after they moved to the States. How did that come about? Whose dream was it? Whose idea was it? And how did the other take it?

It was your idea? Well, yeah, but I convince you I think the reason why we decided to come to the US, Well, first I had a bachelor's in food science food technology, and I wanted to explore the possibility of conducting research. Commenced Claudia, that was our best for our future. My career if we stayed in Mexico was going to be only restricted to Mexico. If I go, I'll get out the green the U S I would

expand or something abilities. So, as they were getting ready to fully transition to their soon to be a new home in the States, they stopped and worked at my uncle's house in Maine, Claudia's great uncle o Hiro's for the summer as managers of his property, workers in whatever needed to be done, painting, cleaning, or cooking. And what was it like when you moved here for the first time? Do you remember some of the first thoughts you had upon arrival. Well, we drove from Maine to upstate New York.

And when I saw Syracuse, I say, oh, this is awesome, and you're doesn't. No, this is not the place yet, we have to drive south. Syracuse is a bigger city in upstate New York. And where they were about to go was Ithaca, New York, home of Cornell University and Ithaca College, and a much smaller city. Can you imagine me, a girl from a very large city in Mexico going to Ithaca, New York and driving through these little back roads and say, oh, my word, where am I going

to live? But when I arrived in Itaca and we walk the little city, the city is just absolutely gorgeous and the campus is just amazing. And as soon as I arrived, I think a week later, I made a friend from Peru in the Bos and from there, yeah, we became friends, and another group of friends, and all from Latin America, all of them. I love thinking about my mom in her mid twenties, making all these friends

from around the world. And it's crazy to think that this incredible adventure that would last the majority of their life so far was started actually by the quiet one, my father, because he was the one who had spurred them to make this big change. His expectations and sense of responsibility were a little different. My expectations were surrounding, mostly about what was waiting for me. As I started my master's degree, I was concerned that I was responsible

for Claudia. So the setting was always where it would be a safe place for us to leave. We were very strapped for money because the first year we did not have any support from the university. We didn't have any fellowships. We basically, like we said in Mexico, we burned our ships. In Mexico, we've sold everything and we save everything during a year to be able to come to the US. We were relatively poor. At least for the following four or five years. We were considered on

their the poverty level in the US. Stay tuned for more from one year Invisible after this break and we are back to this show with no clear future, but navigating as best they could. They were feeling their way day by day. I love you have all the perks of living in the US as compared to Mexico, because at least in our generation, there are many things that it was so easy to do that in Mexico was a pain in the neck. The moment that I discovered

you could pay bills by mail. Oh my goodness, that's great because in Mexico was interesting physically physically to pay office of feature. That's changed your intention was never to stay in this country. First was a master's degree, and then we decided to stay for a pH d at Cornell. I got suppar from the Mexican government, which very grateful. We tried to go back, but the economic situation in Mexico was really bad. There were no jobs, and the

jobs that were really bad. So I was fortunately that one of the professors offered me to stay for a postdoctoral position, so we stayed a little longer. With each choice my dad made came a slew of new logistics and paperwork for what felt like pretty constantly changed visas. We started my master's degree under an F one, which is typically even to international students. When I got the support from Mexican govern and Fulbright, I was asked to move to a J one pisa, and that's when the

complications came. J one visas have a restriction that you have to go back to your home country for two years before you could apply for a work pisa or a permanent residence. It was going to be almost impossible to stay permanently in this country. The University of Minnesota, when they wanted to hire me, they were willing to support me to get an OH one visa, an Alien of Extraordinary Abilities. That was the title of the visa. Normally it's a visa that doesn't last more than three years.

After the first three years, we had to renew every single year. The complications of having a visa that only last one year while you have a permanent job in the US provided not a lot of uncertainty for many years, but also some of the complications whenever you crossed the border, like your visa was so rare. I remember being at borders and having immigration officers be like, what is this?

I have to go check. At one point, when my parents really could not predict how long they would be in this country, we started to have conversations about what we were going to do if their visa got rejected, If we would go to Mexico with them, if we

would stay in the States with guardians, or what. These kinds of conversations started when I was eleven and continued until I became an adult, and then I eventually went to the forts visa that I we were had, which is the h one that allowed the possibility for you to then moved to a permanent arrist. My boss at that time made the miracle of allowing a fulbright scholar to stay in this country permanently. But yeah, I think I cannot say that I ever had the American dream.

To be honest, it's been an accident in my life. Let's put away all those mild American stone steps milestones. We always arrived later. We've been catching up in terms of the American dream. Eventually we kind of fulfill what would be considered having a house, having a secure income, and then we can clarify it is the reason why I were not able to work. They were two decisions. One because my visa status, I was not allowed to

work formally in the States. And another reason is because what I was a mother, I wanted to be with my children. Thinking on going to work in order to pay for childcare didn't seem too clos to to me. In that equation, my fulfillment as a professional will come second to my motherhood. If I had two children, they will be my priority. So I did lots of work under the table in Ithaca I had a home childcare at my home so I could wash over my children after the daycare, and itaca my dad was done with

his education. With that came all the rejections of all the jobs that he applied to. My dad literally has a stack of over fifty rejection letters from this time. One of the places that eventually accepted him was the University of Minnesota. And when Minnesota became our home base, that's when my family slowly started to see a transition

in our financial stability. We went from a two bedroom small apartments taking buses because my parents were always working, and had to split the same used car that we had owned for many, many, many years. Then we got to move into duplex and then from there got to move into a beautiful house in the suburbs. That finally happened when I was about fifteen years old. But even at that comfortable middle class we still didn't see a surplus of money because any extra funds that we ended

up having went to my family in Mexico. So while we were physically more comfortable and we finally had a brand new car for the first time during that time, we were still doing what we'd always been doing. We traveled, and we made it possible by staying with family, staying with friends, always driving, and we would barter for every single extracurricular activity. For example, to pay for the Minnesota Opera, I sold point set as like a crazy person, hundreds of points set as a year to be able to

do that after school activity. So any time we had something what was happening behind the scenes was a lot of hard work to make it happen, both on the kids parts and my parents party. After about twelve years of being in Minnesota, my parents moved to Georgia for my dad's job. Again, I'm curious, as you have moved from the East coast to the Midwest, then to the South, are there any big differences between the three or were you guys made aware of your immigrant status in a

way that you didn't expect it. Fact, probably is one of the most liberal cities that I have been in, where everybody from all walks of life is welcome and no one is strange, no queer people, no black people, not Asian people, like It's a very large community from everywhere. Probably I was suspecting that experience when we moved to Minnesota, and that was not the case. In many ways, we really never made friends that were from Minnesota. They say,

Minnesota nice. Yes, it's true. People work an extra mile to help you, to direct you. But that experience that we had is that there are people that will not open their houses to you if you are a foreigner, if you are from somewhere else. And the reason is more simple that I imagine at the beginning to be is that people have lived in Minnesota for generations. Literally, it's very rare to see a Minnesota going out and not coming back or even not going out at all

from the state. Because they have great universities there. They don't have the need and the family tides are very strong, so there is not chance for you to be part of any Minnesota family because they already have their niche and it's a very large niche. So our friends were from outside that the transplant that established in Minnesota, so that was very interesting. And then Georgia, it has been a little bit difficult for me. When we moved to Georgia,

were actually more in the rural area. You're very spread out, and so we're like an hour drive to Atlanta versus Minneapolis. Was just hop skipping and jump away so they were two very different environments. People is more racist, and I have seen even people holding pistols or firearms of any type a couple of times. I I've seen men in their big trucks with that air cape is fifteen on the top of their like the truck in the States. There's not just the culture shocks that they had to experience,

but also some discriminatory experiences as well. Being in their home country of Mexico, they were white slash white passing right. Mexico has its own problem and system of racism that is still being unpacked to this day, and it wasn't until they got to the States that they really felt discrimination. When he moved to a different country like the US,

the connotation of race and ethnicity and language changes. I remember kind of having to listen to my mom fight to be taken seriously no matter where we were or the context at times, just to clarify in terms of racist what have you specifically experienced, Well, in me at the supermarket, Oh yeah, well in the supermarket, I just had an experience. A man was very upset with me. I was talking to you on the phone in Spanish, and I saw his reaction. He was very upset, and

then I hung up because I need to pay. When I went out, he approached me and said, if you are in America, you should be speaking in English. And I say to you, I do speak English, and I'm speaking to you in English. No over the phone, And I say, why I am talking with my daughter. The communication between my daughter and I isn't my tongue language in Spanish and say, I don't know where your ancestors came from, but can you imagine for them to be

treated the way you are treating me right now. My mom is one of the most outspoken and strongest people I know. She's the one who taught me to defend myself when I was being bullied in grade school and middle school. And my mom taught me about hitting someone with a white glove is what she calls it. It's a Claudi Ideas method where you don't have to be mean in any way back you just shine a light on what's happening and the ugliness that the other person

is presenting. We're gonna get deeper into a person, options that my parents have faced and how they perceived themselves in different situations and cultures. After this break welcome back to when you're invisible. The more my parents were in this country, the more there started to be an intermingling of cultures. Not only did it impact them, but also their kids when they eventually had them, and my brother and all of this kind of becomes an interesting melting

pot of its own within our family dynamics. We tried to go back to Mexico, but eventually, as you live more here, you started to lose many of the ties, and eventually you lose your culture in many ways, because culture is not a static thing. But yeah, the fact that we decided to leave in many Mexican line and we're not exactly traders, but I guess our families resent

to the fact that we left. That's probably the price that you pay when you decide to leave your roots in In our case, we came here, not as a survival like many other immigrants. In our case was because we made the decision that it was the best for our future. We could have stayed in Mexico because of my education and Claudius skills and education, we probably would have succeeded in Mexico. But speaking of like being away from family, what was it like raising kids away from family.

Especially Mexican culture is very family oriented in many ways, relief in many ways missing. Mexican families are very controlling, controlling, and also they like to be involved. Yes me, Titches is, let me put my opinion into it, and I can't help you with it all the time, whether you want it or not, whether you are at or not. So your dad and I had the opportunity to raise our children in the way we thought it was the best way. So it's a duality on the feeling that I have

raising you far away. I think in this farness, we think we raise two very strong individuals with a mindset of their own. They have lived their life the way they wanted and I don't know if that transition would have been more difficult if you were surrounded with the loving environment of my family, and we have seen it in your own cousins. They don't detached from their families

yet and they are. You left home at eating and it was very difficult for me to let you go, but gave me peace of mind knowing that your dad did the same when he left Durango to go to Monterey. But I did exactly what your cousins are doing right now, and I don't know if one is better than the other one. Definitely they were going to be missing on all that experience and the support system that sometimes takes place.

We were fortunate to have really good friends along the way that in many ways they played the role of a close sister or brother or uncle or aunt. But I think that's surprised that you always paid. Because we weren't able to be close to our extended family, our nuclear family became really tight knit. My mom emphasized this idea of home should be a safe space, and within that safe space, we were teaching each other a lot. What's the hilarious story where Francisco or I taught you

something with me? Is my pronunciation like what like bitch, which is what words c shore. That's why I never said the B word to nobody. I just by the sea shore, the bedding chit. I just can't even contain yourself. It's like I just gotta laugh. That is another one, and they laugh and laugh and laugh at me and said, I know, but I cannot say it any other way. I do also love the memory of like teaching you what badass means. Yeah, I used to teach quite a

bit in Minnesota. So I got some feedback from students. Sometimes they praise you, sometimes they tell you that you're the worst teacher ever, could be a roller crouster when you read those reviews. But one day the statement said the teacher wears really badass sweaters. So it wasn't sure if it was a compliment or or here she was insulting me or what. So I asked the children, I have a question for Literally, we were at dinner and he goes, I have a question for you. What does

badass mean? Why? And I was like why, what's the contact? And I was like that's a good thing, and he's like, oh, okay. In all seriousness, though, my family was really open to new experiences and whatever we grew into and became. I always tell this story about Maria. She was in preschool and she had a wonderful best friend Jody, and she will always say, Jody, this, Mommy, Jody, Dad, Jody, Jody, Jody,

say mom can Jody come home? And the evening before mommy pink shorts and white shirts, and Pony tells Mommy, why honey, because Jody will be dressed the same way and said okay. I loved a good matching outfit. Yeah. And I go to school and I see these two little girls hand by hand running out to meeting me. And this girl was a black girl from Ghana, and Marian never mentioned the color of her skin. It was Jody, Jody, Jody.

And when I saw them, I just started crying, bowling my eyes and I say, wow, I believe in a god, no church, no religion, but I believe in a higher power. And I just thank God that my child was teaching me such an amazing lesson because you grew up well. My grandparents were very wealthy until my mother got married. Right after my mother got married, they lost everything. So you can imagine their friendships in Monterrey. All of us were white, right, So racism existed, even if it was

not spoken. Indigenous people people that come to Monterrey to work from Michuaka and from the southern part of Mexico, they were black. They had just brown skin. There's also a decent size of Afro Mexicanos. Yeah, but but we don't talk about it. We never saw in Mexico. Basically, the air existence is often denied. Yes, the Mexican government to this day still does not count the Afro Mexican population as part of the official Yeah, but if you

ask an average Mexican is we're not racist here. Mexico has so much to yet unpack that they don't even fully realize, and they're getting there. And Maria was one of the first people that taught me to see people

lesson equal. I remember having conversations with you guys about race, Remember having conversations with you guys about LGBTQ communities, right, Like I remember back in the day, I don't agree with what they do, but you can do it in your own home, right kind of thing, and like having kind of like a fight in the car about it and like of why And to watch you guys get to the place where you're like people are people do whatever you want, like cool, like no opinion whatsoever, and

like hi, nice to meet your partner and going to weddings and like there is no longer that reservation, which is incredible to watch. And I think that's a huge testament to like you guys and just humanity. That's what's so beautiful about people, Like you said, Mom, this interest in change and how change can be so integral and how we allow ourselves to grow is the only way right, because that process is true change, and if only we understand that change could bring us closer together instead of

pulling apart from each other. So while my family did have to grapple with tough topics, we eventually work through them all. And one of the things that was particularly a point of contention between my mother and I was sex, sexuality and the perception of femininity because Mexico is a very Catholic country still, like I was dealing with a more conservative viewpoint in our household that I have changed, I know, but we have to say it for the podcast.

So living in this country definitely took a toll on me. I give my mom a lot of appreciation and I'm impressed by my mother's ability to grow. And something I find curious is the ways that he's been protective over our extended family and at times hesitant to push them to change. I remember t M, my listeners, t M my warning, like when a girl starts to wax, Like

when I started getting interesting and having waxes. I remember you were like lie to your grandmother about it, Like you're not getting a bikini wax, You're getting a leg wax. Or the fact. I mean, I'm going to say this and maybe the family will find out. Like I remember when I told you I was by both of you handled it while in the car the first time. You're like, okay, cool, moving on. But I remember when we had a conversation, You're like, don't tell our family when you're in Mexico.

Why is that? It's not about me being worried not to be accepted, but it was me trying to protect you from projection or from questioning, or even make them feel uncomfortable. Changing conservative more religion Mexican mentality is more difficult, and putting you in an uncomfortable situation is what I didn't want to happen, because it is why does she need to do that? For what type of bikinni she's going to wear? And white four who she's going with?

You know, it's all this question is behind right, And I don't disagree with hiding things out of protection or simplicity sake, but it is interesting to think about because you know, sometimes I have the attitude of like I'm gonna knock the fucking door down right. Both me and France have that, which I've had to learn how to temper Oh yes, just chuckles, just chuckles. But it is interesting to hear the full reasoning more when we return

to when yere invisible. Welcome back to when you're invisible. Everybody today, the way we talk about identity and identity politics, we want people to fit into one box, but in reality, everyone is filled with layers that are influenced not just by every aspect of an individual, but also their experiences and the places that they live. Like I've said, my parents they both identified as white in Mexico, but that's despite having indigenous roots, which we're going to talk about.

Then they come to the US and suddenly they're not just white, they're not just Mexican. They're immigrants. They're suddenly being grouped with other Latinos in the census, and that comes with a whole new set of assumptions that my parents oscillated in and out of fitting into. And while that's happening, they're constantly coming up not just against others perceptions, but they're own. One side of the coin is how my mom is perceived as white even among other Mexican immigrants.

Like when she wants to connect and fit in with other Latinos, sometimes the first thing they see is her white skin, her hazel eyes, and the fact that she dyes her hair blonde. That is until she speaks Spanish. Yeah, in the case of Claudia, when she used to teach to the Spanic communities back in Minnesota, she had to convince them that she was Mexican, even that I speak the language perfectly. Right, Where did you learn to speak Spanish like that? And I said, excuse me, in Mexico,

no way. What happened is that Latin American immigrants that come in a different circumstances. They come in Mexico from that southern part of the country most of the time, you know, Soccatecas, Michoka, and Wachaca, and all of them creates small communities where you can go to the Mexican side of Saint Paul and to the Mexican side of Minneapolis and you will see just Mexicans. They're right, but I didn't fit the pattern of a Mexican person because of the color of my skin and the color of

my hair and whatever, or my education or so. It was really interesting to say the least, to see these people saying, no way, you are not. We do have indigenous roots and we do have a whole part of us that often goes ignored because of the whitewashing part of us. That's right, Yeah, just think about it. What do we say, oh, yeah, you know in my French, English, Spanish, but never we say and where the martinis andres are coming from our most recent parents and the grandparents rejected

those roots, that's right, So what happens? So it was a filter to get rid of our own identity, right, and the expression of that identity. It's really beautiful to hear my parents acknowledge the indigenous side of us. It's closer to us than what my family has been allowed to express. And it's crazy how such a prideful group of people can hide such a large part of the self.

Seeing pictures my great grandfather is super dark and having to acknowledge those moments too have not just the physical but culturally we have traditions that are indigenous, but we don't discuss it. And so it's like really heartbreaking and also very beautiful to have this moment of realizing how deeply ingrained like self hate and desire to be white and perceived as white, and to carry the traditions of

white cultures can go. Getting to explore and be honest about what my family was coming from allowed me to open that door to appreciate my full self. One of the first moments that I saw my dad a grapple with not only his indigenous roots but his immigrant status his Mexican status is Latino status, is when the University of Minnesota labeled him a professor of color, and it confused him for a minute, and so I wanted him

to speak on that experience. That's in itself was a little bit of my own evolution with recognizing the different shase of racism that we have. The reason I was classified the blood label as well because probably I marked the block of Hispanic because of my name. So I think automatically the university started to send me invitations to be part of the faculty of color, which initially interestingly and now looking back, I felt uncomfortable because I said,

I'm not faculty of color, I'm white. But I think I realized that actually was my own bias, my own racism, the realization that I do have Native Mexican ancestors, and it doesn't matter what the color of my skin is, but the color of my origins that's what really matters. The last few years, I changed my viewpoint and said, no, I am a faculty of color. It's okay that I consider myself faculty of color. The thing is, it's not

only up to you to decide all the time. And I want to acknowledge that in some communities of color, I'm automatically accepted as part of it, as a person of color. Other times I'm told I'm white and I'm rejected from certain spaces. But of course I don't always pass for white. I'm off and asked what are you, or told you look exotic. My blood, my culture, and color can feel at odds in different spaces. Me and my dad and many others are trying to navigate this.

But no matter where you are, there's this pressure to meld and be a part of one group or another. It can be hard to just hold onto your unique identity. You can feel like you're never enough. And one of the things that my parents dealt with is feeling the pressure of melding into the fabric of American society, and not only that, but the fabric of Latino community and

what that looks like. What do you think about the term Latino or Latina with the Latino American community, we are different people raising a different way, just like the English speakers people from Australia are different from people from England, and even in the United States, each region is completely different. But the Latini that the embracing of the culture and the language. I think it is beautiful. My reaction to be in Latino. I think I'm fine with term Latino.

I think it's a good way to try to incorporate anyone. Yes, if you ask me, probably would I identify myself ethnically, I would say his Panic, But Latino is fine with me. The temptation of putting everyone together under a single term is the temptation that exists everywhere. For the most part, they have a common language that helps, but at the same time, the Argentina and culture is fairly different from

the Bolivian culture and from the Mexican culture. I gotta say, since we're talking about term Latino or Latina, the Latins term, it's confusing to me. Yeah, for me too, I don't think it's necessary. If you want to say that gender neutral, you just say Latin neutral. I think we forget that was there a long time before Latino or Latino culture

like it was Latin culture. Luckily, because of where I sit in my little New York City among many different kinds of Latin people, I astal I'll be like Latino, Latino, Latin, Latino, Latin X and to me, I'm like, it's all of it. One of the things that it's interesting is that many immigrants when they um to those countries, often times are encouraged to renounce the original origin, and they themselves renounce it because they are subjected to discrimination and they want

to melt as much as skin. That's something we never did because neither Claudia or I rejector or nationality that we still have to this a then we basically tall our children. You make a decision. We're proud to be Mexican, We're proud to be American to this country has treated us really well. We have many things to think to our time here in the US, the many friends that we have in the US, and we're very happy that you feel proud of both of them when we're another.

Becoming comfortable with myself is partially thanks to my parents and my family and spending so much time in both my countries and the Spanish language has been a big part of this journey. Having been the first gen you face discrimination, and not just with America, but you also kind of face it a little bit when you talk to home country people, like you're the good or goodingal and do you understand me when I speak Spanish to you? Or you have a slight accent. I was really good

at erasing my American accent in Spanish. If I got re immersed, I was like, Bam, now I talk like a native, and that was something to be proud of. It is something to be proud of, but it's also something to be proud of that my accent is going to be different because I am not you. But it's like, yeah, you kind of face it from both. So then you choose to potentially reject the Latino part of you because you're like, well, if they don't want me and they're going to make fun of me for it, I'm going

to simplify in this way. And then you lose it, and then as an adult it's hard. We looked out where we had some really loving family in Mexico that I wanted to talk to them and I wanted to be connected, and I was prideful it was so important for me. While I spoke Spanish conversationally with family members in Mexico and Latinos here in New York, I also learned it formally while I was at Columbia. It's funny because my parents kept suggesting I should maybe take formal

Spanish for native speakers. There was moments of shame, of like is my Spanish not enough? We thought that your job oppor changes by having two languages would be much greater if you get some formal Spanish in your education, which I mean it has helped. I've taken translation jobs, I have acted in Spanish, and getting to tutor in Spanish. I never heard my parents mix the languages. I was around a lot of people who only spoke one language

or the other. And so while I did eventually meet that mix in New York, for a long time I didn't fit in because I didn't know how to mix the language is We tried to avoid exing the two languages together. Oftentimes I get praise by some of my peers in Mexico or family in Mexico because they said, oh, you haven't picked up any of the English slangs or anything. We really want to conserve the language. My parents desire to preserve the language is very much a desire to

preserve the culture, Mexican culture. Back when Mexicans were considered wet backs and beaners, and people liked the food, but they didn't fully understand it. And now post Coco, Disney's Coco and seeing the flourishment of dachim tequila and mescal right, people are now shifting their perception about Mexicans and the culture and have a lot more love and respect for it. But I find it really impressive that my parents were doing this in an era where it was so negative

to habit. Can I ask you our signature question, when do you feel invisible? Invisible? If you go back to our experience in Minnesota or even here in Georgia, the fact that we are not the traditional Americans in traditional American communities, I think you tend to be ignored. Minnesota, for example, we had the experience that, as Claudia described that we used to invite our neighbors to have dinner to our place, but rarely any neighbors invites us back.

No one invited back, and we had several of those cases for different reasons. I don't know exactly if it's the definition of invisible, but at least is you're not important enough to actually have you in their homes. You feel invisible because you are not that knowledge, you know, And many times during my life I have felt like that sometimes, even to be honest with you, I have felt invisible in my own family. But maybe it's my making too, because you have accomplished some You are my

pride and my joy. Your dad went to Cornell, because your brother came out of Yale and Princeton, because you went to Columbia and went through a difficult time and you were able to fulfill and say I will go through it with your strong will, right, And I am not. I am a mama who keep the house clean, or kept the house clean and my children safe. But that's it, right. I sometimes felt invisible with my own husband because he did not acknowledge therefore that I put in my home.

He does believe me, he does very often, but many times, however, did not right, like I am not enough because I haven't done the professional part of it, and I'm probably my own doing nothing to do with you guys. I have been felt sometimes invisible in that way because my work is simple, because my work is has nothing to do with professional accomplishments, right, I sometimes live through you, the three of you. What did I tell you? Go

and see the world? And the three of you have done it, not me, and I feel invisible for that too. I just wanted to be honest. You know, I'm glad that you're sharing the story because I think you're not alone. I think there are thousands and thousands of millions of women that their role has been traditionally just at home, and they feel that they are not accomplishing anything in their cases worse than years, because there are women that

even get abused after not even being seen. Very torching that you are willing to share that story because that's a great opportunity that will reach out to people being in similar roles as yours. That really reminds me of why I do this podcast. My family and I have come from roots where a lot of people go invisible, and a lot of women, and honestly, this is like for them, and it's for my mom, it's for my dad,

it's for my brother, it's for my best friends. It's for people who have not been able to get to the dreams or live a full life that they deserve or that they live a beautiful life and no one ever knows or appreciates it. And that's the thing is the world that I've gotten to explore is one filled with incredible people. There is a story behind each person, and that we are able to embrace those people and just recognize that much a person, what a difference that

will make. Thank you so much for coming on this journey with me and giving me the grace in the space to have these conversations and thoughts out loud on the first season of When You're Invisible. Hope to see you soon, don't forget to like, comment, and subscribe. You can find this episode and future ones on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

I'm your host and creator Maria Fern, with executive producers Anna Stump, Nikki Ittour and bans producer Dylan Hoyer, with associate producer Claudia Martha Corena and post production producer Daisy James. Original theme music by Tony Bruno. When You're Invisible is an i Heeart podcast network production in partnership with Michael Kura. Cast Network