Our guest today, Sara Easterly is an author and essayist who wrote a spiritual memoir called “Searching for Mom”. She writes about adoption, parenting, and grief through the lens of her Christian faith. We go into how using faith to justify adoption can make adoptees feel alienated and insignificant by framing adoption as a “blessing”. And her answer to my final question “where to apply courage” was one of my favorites. Let's lean in! GUEST: Sara Easterly https://saraeasterly.com/ Support the sh...
Jun 11, 2022•31 min
Today, Jill Ashley Hoffman helps me unpack cultural programing and conditioning around relationship with food, learning how food can be medicine and addressing thyroid disorders. Jill is a healing artist; Reiki healer, Health coach, thyroid health coach, graphic designer and #1 Best selling Co-author. Jill is here to guide us towards a healthier and holistic path. I’m so about this conversation, y’all! Let’s lean in. GUEST: Jill Hoffman https://jillashleyhoffman.com/ @embodydmentor Support the s...
Jun 04, 2022•30 min
This week in light of all the collective heart-breaks I wanted check in with everyone. How is your heart? My guest is the perfect person to share space in this tender moment. She is such a light in this world, as a mentor and adoptive parent herself. She helps to shatter the myth that BIPOC people don't adopt--they do! And she just happens to be an adoptee to boot. We chat about how being a Korean adoptee informed her path as an adoptive parent of a little black boy and how people reference her ...
May 28, 2022•34 min
Schai Schairer returns to talk about Haitian Heritage Month! Listen as we fellowship on what this month means to us! We discuss reclaiming our Haitian culture as interracial adoptees, building identity by immersing ourselves in various communities, and celebrating our advocacies. The authenticity of our friendship made it difficult to end this episode. We hope you enjoy hearing our vibrant conversation on our country of origin: Haiti! GUEST:: Schai Schairer www.fistdc.org/ team IG: @diabolically...
May 21, 2022•53 min
Kevin Hofmann is biracial who was adopted into a White family. Listen as he uses humor to discuss the sense of belonging, imposter syndrome, and identity. His candid experiences are written in his book, “Growing Up Black in White” in which he further explores dealing with racial tensions, his loving family, and developing into a trainer to teach others various ways to coexist with someone different than you. Get ready to be encouraged while you laugh! GUEST:: Kevin Hofmann https://www.growingupb...
May 14, 2022•31 min
We've all heard of the "Better life narrative" where people tell you that no matter what your present circumstances are they are better than your pre-adoption life. Well, that's not true nor is it healthy to perpetuate. My guest Mindy Stern and I break down why! GUEST::cMindy Stern @minster12 Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here ! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HER...
May 07, 2022•35 min
Today I go solo to give you some key things that helped me survive this monstrous year. It is all about a higher quality of life, my beloveds. Journel Prompt: What am I feeling this way? What can I do to shift this circumstance? Write 5 things that you’re grateful for. Write 5 lessons that you are learning from this situation. Mind Love: https://www.mindlove.com/ Cathy Heller: https://www.dontkeepyourdayjob.com/ To Be Magnetic: https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast Cold/Fever: 1 Whole lemon ...
May 01, 2022•12 min•Season 3Ep. 44
Today’s episode has Lydia Fay Berkey, who is an interracial adoptee. You’ll hear Lydia discuss how to build an Instagram presence, how Maslow's hierarchy of needs applies to transracial adoptees, how to protect your peace, and the struggle to decolonize Eurocentric beauty standards. The infectious laugher of Lydia will make it easy to stay engaged as she discusses her development into her authentic self who is now working as an Adoption Case Worker. Hearing her passion for the adoption community...
Apr 23, 2022•34 min
Today Ed and I discuss his wonderful book "The Gift best Given". Ed has an inspiring perspective on how it's never too late to search for the answers. GUEST: Edward Di Gangi https://www.digangiauthor.com/about-my-book Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here ! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE ! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CON...
Apr 16, 2022•33 min
We launch this season with a discussion on what it means to be stuck in a drama triangle where you're constantly playing either the role of victim, prosecutor or rescuers. Adoptee, friend and biological aunt, Dr. Juliana Olson Deans helps me unpack it all. The world at large is definitely stuck in at least one of these mindsets, but you don't have to stay stuck. Let's figure out how! GUEST: Dr. Juliana Olson Deans @Dr_juliana_deans Differentiation of Self: https://www.thebowencenter.org/differen...
Apr 09, 2022•46 min
We're back! Come join me this Saturday for another round. I'm so excited! @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com DONATE TO THE SHOW: https://ko-fi.com/whentheywereyoung Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here ! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE ! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS: 14 throug...
Apr 06, 2022•37 sec
Today in this solo episode I wanted to talk to you about lost languages. I stumbled across this article called “Forgotten First Languages Leave An Imprint On The Brain.” For those of you feeling overwhelmed (like me) with the idea of re-learning your mother-tongue this article gave me so much comfort and hope. REFERENCES: Adoptees who taught themselves their native language: Jacob Taylor Mosquera from Colombia ep.39 William Uhlaub from Haiti ep.8 BOOK: Embers in the Ashes by Sabaa Tahir Article ...
Aug 07, 2021•11 min
Jacob Taylor Mosquera is a Colombian adoptee who taught himself Spanish in two years and now teaches Spanish in Seattle. He is the author of, “I Met Myself In October: A Memoir of Belonging.” He shares his extraordinary journey of discovery, self-actualization and identity. This is going to be a good one! GUEST:: Jacob Taylor Mosquera https://www.imetmyselfmemoir.com/ Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here ! MERCH here "I a...
Jul 31, 2021•1 hr 3 min
Our guest today is Astrid Castro. You’ve heard me talk about how much I love the phrase “The Adoptee Constellation” before, and I first heard it from her. Astrid’s works in both the private and public sectors of various adoption organizations such the Oregon Post Adoption Resource Center (ORPARC), Holt International, Rocky Mountain Adoption Exchange to name just a few. She is the creator of The Adoption Mosaic which is a platform for compassionate, informed education, training and resources to t...
Jul 24, 2021•51 min
Today’s guest has one of the gentlest spirits I’ve ever encountered. Moses Farrow is a very active activists and a long time family therapist. In this conversation he gives some actionable steps to come back to yourself and begin the work to reconnecting with who you are. Moses Farrow is an advocate for mental health, adoption reform and suicide prevention. GUEST:: Moses Farrow #truthislouder https://mosesfarrow.com/about-1 Website https://mosesfarrow.com/ Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @yo...
Jul 17, 2021•39 min
The co-founder and executive director of The Adoptee Collective reached out to me about a possible collaboration. She and I instantly hit it off. Heather Enright is not an adoptee but has an in-depth perspective having worked as a social worker for 19 years. After watching my panel series she had the intuitive ping to leave her current job and start a journey as an advocacy for adoptee . The first thing she said to me was, “I wait to be invited to the table, I don’t expect a seat.” My mind was b...
Jul 10, 2021•1 hr 4 min
This conversation is incredibly important if you have a child of another race, if your family is of another race, or if you live on this planet. You will walk away more informed. My guest Issac Etter is an incredible educator, consultant, speaker, activist and social entrepreneur. He’s the co-founder of SafeHouse Lancaster , where he is the co-executive director. Isaac also serves on the board of directors for The Keystone Business Alliance . Heather Enright : Isaac Etter https://isaacetter.com/...
Jul 03, 2021•59 min
This week is a solo episode to share some actionable steps to unlearn perfectionism. This is something that I am constantly working on and have finally gained some ground on through meditation and thought work. I've included some links to people who've helped me along the way. REFERENCES: Joe Dispenza: https://youtu.be/oFB6KDftGPY Victory Albino: https://victoriaalbina.com/ Expanded Podcast: Episode on Perfectionism https://tobemagnetic.com/expanded-podcast/2021/152 Support the show CONNECT WITH...
Jun 26, 2021•12 min
Today’s episode takes a deep dive into my perfectionism, boundaries and people pleasing. I did not intend for it to play out that way, but when I met Amy Geller, today’s guest, I was disarmed. She has a magical--Jedi way of getting down to the root of the issue in a matter of minutes—I could have spoken with her for hours. I can see why she is so successful in her work helping clients through depression, anxiety, trauma, grief, loss and adoption. Amy is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Profess...
Jun 19, 2021•41 min
I lost my grandmother, and my aunt Juliana lost her mother about a month ago. We asked Dr. Charmaine Borda to interview myself and my biological aunt, Dr Juliana Olson- Deans, because Charmaine is a close friend of Juliana’s and I have loved getting to know her this last year. Both of these women are adoptees who work as clinical psychologists in the world— they have a beautifully 3 dimension view of the trauma, truth and the healing that encases adoption. I’m deeply grateful that they have retu...
Jun 12, 2021•1 hr 9 min•Season 2Ep. 32
I just wanted to check in with you on all the things happening in my life, and give you some tricks to overcome even the deepest sorrow. It's summer time in Chicago and I churn this heat into opportunity, here's how! Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here ! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE ! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONV...
Jun 05, 2021•10 min
Today’s interview is a testament a perseverance. I connected with Obakeng Beddny three times because of technical difficulties. Obakeng is a natural orator who will spur you to stand up, no matter what your beliefs may be, and invite you to recognize the love that already resides in you. He is such a brilliant mind and radiant force in this world. GUEST: Obakeng Beddny @Obakengbeddny Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here !...
May 29, 2021•59 min•Season 2Ep. 30
This episode Jamie-Lyn Richartz returns to chat with me about how she felt the convo with her mother went. See episode 28 for part 2. We are modeling how to have a conversation about adoption with a loved one. You’d think that it was easy, but let me tell you—I have friends who’ve never talked to their husbands or adoptive families about their adoption. Again, I’m not saying that you need to talk about adoption all the time, or ever-- for that matter. I am simply examining why aren’t we talking ...
May 22, 2021•53 min
We are modeling how to have a conversation about adoption with a loved one. You’d think that it was easy, but let me tell you—I have friends who’ve never talked to their husbands or adoptive families about their adoption. Again, I’m not saying that you need to talk about adoption all the time, or ever-- for that matter. I am simply examining why aren’t we talking about? Is it because of fear? This episode Jamie-Lyn Richartz has a lovely conversation with her adoptive mother, Denise. This will in...
May 15, 2021•1 hr 18 min•Season 2Ep. 3
I share what I do while in self-preservation mode, and how I get back into a space where I can feel the full spectrum of my emotions--without it consuming me. And of course, we talk about mothers and what that means to me as an adoptee this Mother's Day weekend. Material: Poem by William Butler Yeats "Heaven's Embroidered Cloths" Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here ! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees ...
May 08, 2021•13 min•Season 2Ep. 27
My guest, Kevin Barhydt is the author of “Dear Stephen Micheal’s Mother” and the host of an educative youtube channel. His wisdom is astounding. The depth of his vulnerability and authenticity truly inspired me. Kevin shares how he pivoted out of fear into faith by building a foundation of courage. ** Please note that this episode mentions sexual assault, abuse, and addiction but doesn't go into detail. GUEST: Kevin Barhydt https://www.kevinbarhydt.com/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCpcB8oqL-...
May 01, 2021•47 min•Season 2Ep. 3
Today’s guest has a blog called The Adoptee In Me. She speaks so beautifully about her connection to her son and father. Like me, she came from a single parent household. It’s rare that we have adoptees raised by just a father. Lionel in season one episode 14 is the only other adoptee I know. She and I connected instantly over the topics of family, worthiness and belonging. GUEST: Nicole Koharik https://theadopteeinme.com/ https://www.adoptionnetwork.org/ Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @you...
Apr 24, 2021•26 min•Season 2Ep. 2
We will be back this month! I have been on hiatus but preparing to go live with some exciting new conversations. Thank you for your continued support. Thanks for writing an itunes review :) Missed you! Support the show CONNECT WITH HOST: @youngadoptee @lantoines www.laniseantoineshelley.com WATCH ON YOUTUBE Here ! MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" Tees SPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE ! DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products 15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH ...
Apr 01, 2021•2 min
Hey loves! This week I just want to give you three books that have helped me create more than I ever have before this past year. Even though the sky was falling outside I continued to flourish in my artistic life. I want to share with you ways you can set, accomplish and hold fast to anything you set out to do. This is going to be a triumphant year! Let's fly! REFERENCES: Podcast "Don't Keep Your Day Job" with Cathy Heller https://www.dontkeepyourdayjob.com/ “Co-dependent No More" by Melody Beat...
Jan 02, 2021•11 min
Merry Holidays! We check in with Dr. Juliana Olson-Deans to see how she feels last week's convo with her husband went. She's been married for 20 years! I had to find out her advice on enduring partnerships and figure out what it was like for her dating as an adoptee. Whether we know it or not our adoption impacts every relationship. It's up to you as to whether that impact is good or bad. GUEST: Dr Juliana Olson Deans @_dr_juliana_Deans REFERENCES: Esther Perel: https://www.estherperel.com/ Supp...
Dec 26, 2020•43 min
