282. The 63 Best Things About Drinking

It’s the end of the year. The magical season where every critic, pundit, and unemployed know-it-all crawls out of their hole to slap you in the face with lists. Oh, the lists. “Best of this.” “Most compelling that.” Like you’ve been wandering through 2024 in some kind of cultural fog, just praying for some random chump to come along and tell you which Taylor Swift song defined your existence.

What have you been doing all year? Living under a rock? Completely unaware of the Top Ten Ways to Make Your Coffee Taste Like Regret or the Most Overplayed Breakup Anthem That Made You Want to Gouge Your Ears Out? Clearly, you need saving. And here comes Dan, because he, too, is a sucker for this ridiculous yearly tradition.

So, fine—here’s his contribution to the nonsense: “The 63 Coolest Things About Drinking.” Why 63? Because lists with odd numbers are edgy now. So grab a drink, scroll through this thing, and let’s pretend this matters. If you can’t beat ‘em, at least you can toast to how stupid it all is. Cheers!