What we believe about grief often starts from a young age. We get messages from family, friends, community, and the media about what grief is 'supposed' to look like. Those messages become beliefs and those beliefs have a very real impact on the way we judge our grief (and often ourselves!). Today we're talking about the ins and outs - where to we get these ideas about grieving and how to they affect us?
Terms like delayed grief and absent grief get thrown around a lot. Recently, people have been suggesting that distancing may be putting people's grief 'on hold'. In this episode, we talk about whether grief is ever 'on hold', how external circumstances can have a very real impact on grieving, and why delayed grief can sometimes happen. Oh, and we do some musing about our own grief.
In this episode we ramble and reflect out loud a bit, so don't say we didn't warn you. Thinking about the ways grief has us doing mental math calculations up, down, and sideways. How old would he be now? She's been gone longer than we were married . . . How many more years until I am the age he was when he died? And on and on. Talking about grief math and the what-ifs and doing some personal processing of our own grieving as we go.
Though positive psychology may sound like a field that is all about just thinking happy thoughts, nothing could be further from the truth. This well-researched, practical approach to boosting well-being is a WYG when it comes to grief and coping. In this episode we're talking about PERMA and challenging you to some momentum from the school of positive psychology.
When the world changes, the way we operate in the world has to change. Grief forces us to make new decisions about the things we do, the things we don't do, and how we cope. Today we talk about how so many of those decisions may feel good in the short term, but often don't serve us in the long-run. Avoidance sounds like it is obvious, but sometimes it hides in corners we don't even recognize.
When a lot of time has passed after a loss, we hear all sorts of questions - is it too late for counseling? Is it too late to reconnect with people I lost touch with? Is it too late to ask for stories and memories? We're pretty strong believers that, in grief, it is never too late.
There is a lot of discussion right now about the many ways people are experiencing grief - the grief of death related losses, but also many other types of grief that are coming up in the world. Today we're sorting through 7 types of grief we think may be relevant and impacting you right now.
We received a question recently about talking to children about people who have died, especially those people the child never met. We get questions like this a lot. Is it normal? Is it okay? Will it screw up my kids? The quick answers: yes! yes! no! For the long answers, tune in.
Seeing as a lot of us are spending more time at home than usual, we asked our readers/listeners for some of the best depictions of grief in movies and television. In this episode, we share your responses and our thoughts.
We did an "Ask Us Anything" on Instagram and turns out your grief questions were a little too big to answer on Instagram. So today we are answering some of your pressing questions about grief - from widow dating to friends disappearing after a death, we're covering some tough topics in less than 35 minutes. Have a question you would like to see us cover? Email us at whatsyourgrief@gmail.com
Whether you were grieving before the coronavirus crisis or you've just lost a loved one and are navigating through the dark days of early grief, the current crisis is changing the way we grieve. We have heard from people all over the world and we've been touched personally, so it seemed about time to end our long hiatus to offer some observations, thoughts, and hopefully even support for everyone coping with grief right now (which just so happens to be a lot of us).
With over 150 million social media users in the US alone, we can no longer conceptualize grief support and support systems without considering online social interaction. As the co-founders of multiple online spaces, we believe online platforms provide grieving people with powerful tools for connecting and coping in the wake of loss. However, just like in real life, online spaces and interactions can, at times, be difficult to navigate. Intro by tom_luft (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creati...
Pixar must have a secret deal with Kleenex. They seemed determined to bring audiences to tears with every movie they make. This is fine by us, though, because these tender and relatable films make great teachable moments for children and adults alike. In this episode of the WYG podcast, we take a look at themes related to grief and death in Pixar's latest movie, Coco. Intro by tom_luft (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixt...
We're back after a brief hiatus with an update on WYG and our plans for the future of this podcast. We're especially interested in talking about grief in current events, pop-culture, and the world around us and the ways these depictions help us and hurt. Intro by tom_luft (c) copyright 2011 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Noncommercial (3.0) license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/tom_luft/34080
A loss of any kind can lead to difficult identity changes. Shifts in one's sense-of-self, roles that no longer need to be fulfilled, and added responsibilities culminate to create overwhelming stress and confusion as a person has to figure out who they are in the context of life after loss. In this podcast, we discuss the many ways that loss leads to identity changes. We also discuss ways to stay focused on the pieces of you that will stay the same and how to remain flexible towards the elements...
Sigmund Freud first proposed the concept of ‘defense mechanisms’ as an element of his influential theory of personality. For those of you who took Psych 101, think back to the Id, Ego, and Superego in which all elements, with the exception of the ego, reside in the unconscious. Since their introduction, the concept of defense mechanisms has been expanded quite a bit, and they are still used today to try to understand certain behavioral patterns. In this episode of the What’s Your Grief Podcast, ...
Many people have to return to work within days after experiencing the death of a loved one. Others have a little more flexibility, but must eventually take the step to return to the workplace and workforce. In this podcast the girls of What's Your Grief discuss returning to work after the death of a loved one. They address some of the common barriers and offer suggestions for reducing stress during this transition. 0:00 - 5:40: Announcements 5:40 - 15:00: Things we've watched and read about grie...
One emotional experience that many grieving people find particularly confusing is the realization that their thoughts, emotions, and needs occasionally seem to conflict with one another. In this episode of the What's Your Grief Podcast, we discuss the sometimes conflicting emotions of grief. We also answer a reader questions about seeking therapy after a loss. Show Notes: www.whatsyourgrief.com/forty-eight
People give up homes for various reasons. Sometimes the circumstances are in their control (such as making the choice to sell a house and move to a new one) and sometimes they aren’t (like in the case of foreclosure, house fire, natural disaster, or death of the primary resident). Leaving a home can be very sad and emotional regardless of the reason. In today's podcast, we discuss the emotional experience of saying goodbye to a home and grieving places from the past. Show Notes: www.whatsyourgri...
We've been telling you for weeks to get caught up on NBC's 'This is Us' because we're going to talk about it. Well, today is the day. If you've been watching This is Us, then you've probably noticed the many grief themes that have played out in episodes 1-11. In this episode of the What's Your Grief Podcast, we discuss four of the main grief themes that we've observed in this critically acclaimed television show. Notes: www.whatsyourgrief.com/forty-six...
By far one of the hardest outcomes to accept about the holidays after the death of a loved one is that tradition needs to be changed or skipped. Traditions your loved one used to be involved with have to change and even those they weren’t a part of may seem entirely too difficult to manage. The worst thing you can do is set your holidays on autopilot and hope things work themselves out. Not only does this put you at risk of being majorly blindsided by your grief, but it also takes away from your...
People tend to have a lot of expectations about the holiday season. This is true during times of peace and during times of turmoil. After the death of a loved one, grieving people continue to have expectations about the holiday season. Sometimes these expectations are based on past ideals that have become impossible to replicate since someone integral to existing ritual and tradition has died. Sometimes these expectations are based on anxiety and worst-case-scenarios. And sometimes they are base...
In this special edition of the What's Your Grief Podcast Litsa and Eleanor discuss the recent Gilmore Girls revival. Not your typical gossip session, this discussion focuses specifically on the grief themes the hosts observed throughout the four episode season. 'Gilmore Girls: A Year in the Life' meets up with the Gilmore women a decade after the original series ended and four months after the death of spouse, father, and grandfather Richard Gilmore. True to life, each character handles grief in...
Season 2: Episode 3: Dating a Widower and Other Topics 0:00 - 5:00 : NFDA Conference Impressions The intersection between grief support and funeral homes 5:00 - 13:45: Talk of a Lifetime Have the Talk of a Lifetime : Conversations around family history, legacy, and how people want to be remembered Talk of a Lifetime cards and conversation starters 13:45 - 15:50: National Alliance for Grieving Children New book: When Someone Dies: A Child-Caregiver Activity Book Child Grief Awareness Month: Novem...
In this episode of the What's Your Grief podcast we discuss the new grief website, Grief in Six Words, adjusting to the school year after a death, answer a reader's question about grief counseling and discuss a few times that grief has made us feel like mean and ugly people. Minute 0:00 - 3:00: Introduction Minute 3:00 - 10:00: Grief in Six Words Website Minute 10:00 - 15:30: Update on the WYG Bookclub Minute 15:30 - 21:30: Adjusting to the school year after a death Minute 21:30 - 26:30: Reader ...
Welcome to Season 2, Episode 1 of the What's Your Grief Podcast. This season we're going to shake up our format a little and cover several different topics during each 30 minute episode. In this episode we talk about some of the new resources WYG has to offer; grief reading and movies; and we discuss the concept of loneliness in grief. Minute 0:00 - 5:00: Introductions Minute 5:00 - What's new with WYG Minute 10:30 - Resource shout out Minute 12:15 - Grief books and movies Minute 16:00 - The uni...
It stands to reason that how a person feels about life and death, in many ways, will impact the way they grieve. Perhaps they hold on tightly to their pain for fear that if they let go their loved one’s life will be forgotten or meaningless. Perhaps they refuse to fully face their grief because it makes them uncomfortable to think about death. Perhaps they find comfort in their beliefs, or perhaps they question their faith when they don’t feel comfort. We should really talk more about how attitu...
When something sad, bad, or anxiety producing happens in the life of someone we care about, our immediate instinct is to comfort. Of course it is – we’re good people! And often this instinct is useful because comforting is exactly what the situation calls for; for example a child’s bruised knee or a nervous first day on the job are both situations where a “there, there, you’ll be okay” goes a long way. However, in the early days of grief, there is very little anyone can say to take away a grieve...
What have you stopped doing since experiencing the death of your loved one? More specifically, what do you no longer do that you used to previously enjoy or find fulfilling? These may be things that you stopped doing them because you don't have the time, they require too much effort, they remind you of your loved one, or they seem less fun. These are things like walking your dog in the evening, going to church on Sunday, getting a hair cut, cooking dinner a few times a week, art, listening to mu...
As if parenting we’re hard enough, you’ve recently experienced the death of someone you love. You’ve done your best to shelter your children from death, loss, and grief for their entire lives, and now it seems you have no choice but to allow these frightening realities into your family home. Even if your child is not directly impacted by the loss, the pain of one family member often affects the family as a whole. In order for you, the parent or guardian, to be an engaged, patient, consistent, an...
