Victoria Garrick

and athletes. She's also a former Division one volleyball player and has amassed one point five million followers across social media, where she's known for her unfiltered campaign hashtag real post. You have nearly half a million followers on Instagram. How did you amass such a big social media following. I never thought I want to be an influencer and I want to gain a following, and like, how do I map this out and do it? Which is ironic because everything else in my life up until the time I

was probably nineteen did feel like a plan. I sat down and I was like, this is what I want this whole achieve it with social media. It was really a snowball effect. I was studying journalism. At USC, I thought I wanted to be a you know, sports broadcaster, But at the same time, I was also a student athlete.

I played on the LiveBall team there, and it was this weird tug of war because I would be reporting and writing articles on athletes and their stats and their performance and you know, just all the things that a

general audience member could take from their game. But then I was living and feeling something completely different as an athlete, which was what was really going on off the court inside of me that wasn't great, and that I was struggling with anxiety and depression and body image issues, and so I kind of realized there's this other story that really needs to be told because no one's talking about it,

and I feel like I'm so alone in this. But a long story short, there was an email came through TED Talks was coming to U s C. I happened to see the email. I had, I think, twenty four hours to apply. I knew immediately I wanted to talk about athlete mental health. I never thought about, like, I want to give a TED Talk. How do I seek it out? Like the email came into the inbox, as it did everyone else at the school, and I applied.

I gave the Ted talk, and then that really kind of caught fire throughout the athletic community, and then more people kind of flocked to my Instagram and my Facebook, messaging me, commenting, and then that's when I started to realize, Okay, well I have more to share, I have more to say. So I continued storytelling on my own platforms, and then you know, you start a YouTube channel, You do that for a year, another year, and then things grow and

we are here where we are today. End. Did you feel like, okay, it's okay to talk about mental health issues because even though so many young women and girls suffer from them, very few feel comfortable sharing that aspect of their life publicly. I realized that this was a life or death conversation, and so I didn't even have the wherewithal or the pause to be like, what are

people going to think? Oh? Like you know, I was just like, we need to talk about this, and I felt so almost I want to likely use the word like furious, because I had been an athlete my whole life. I'd never heard about a performance anxiety or you know, being on your dream team and being depressed, and so when this became my reality, which it then took me like a year to really understand what I was thinking, what I was feeling, to put words to it, to

see a therapist to start to get better. That when I started to realize, hey, this is really really hard, and this is not just me. I know, it's my teammates, I know it's other people. No one's talking about it. That's really what gave me, I guess, the courage to just be so candid about it was because I knew that the message needed to be shared. I knew people would would resonate with it, and it was like I believed in the conversation more than I was thinking about

myself or how people would perceive me. Um. So, you know, when I was preparing to give this talk, and mind you, you know, I have my parents who have done everything they could have ever done my whole life to make sure I was happy and had everything I'd wanted. And my mom, I remember, was the one who said, are you sure you want to share all of this? You know? And it came from the I'm love my mom, She's

my best friend. It came from the best place. This was no one was talking about this She was like, you know, this is going to be on the internet forever. Your future employers are going to see this. Um, are you sure you want to talk about the suicidal ideation on the bike? Like? Can we just remove that? You know,

little my mom's trying to protect me. That was really the only time or instance I can remember someone being like, I don't know if you should be this candid, But I pushed back and said, you know, mom, this is the truth. This is really how I felt, and I share that not my mom is the best mom in the world. And I might have done the same thing and the same circumstance with a daughter who knows, but I don't know. For me, I just had this knowing that I needed to say everything. How did you go

about putting the talk together? Ted Talks came to s USC, which is like TED x USC. They were going to take six speakers. So I actually had already had a notes page in my phone of like various things my whole life, I've kind of, you know, pretended to be a main character and just written down my thoughts and feelings on plane rides and whatever. So I had detailed

remember this. One morning, I was late and for a drug test, and so I was crying and the whole team was gonna have to run and I had the test and I literally just was like, I'm like, I just like a dear diary in my phone, which then ended up being the opening to my talk, which is like this you know scenario where I put the audience in my shoes and say this is what you have to do. That came from like a deer diary entry on my phone. So I was a journalism student. I

did love storytelling. I had that kind of in me. It wasn't like I, you know, didn't have any background in um, you know, being on stage or in front of a camera. So that definitely served me well. Um Also, you know, I definitely am like a type a person. I do everything to the nines. I'm super thorough. I've

always been a good communicator. There were definitely a lot of like innate qualities in me that I think primed me to deliver like a really good TED talk at nineteen with no public speaking experience, Like I was always the girl who maybe didn't work on the group project, but you better bet I showed up and I presented it to the whole class. In high school like that

was always my role. So those things helped. UM. I definitely reached out to, you know, my closest high school english professor who I really trusted and said, I'm going to give this talk, like can I run you know, ideas through you? And UM he was helpful. My current sports psychologist that I was in therapy with, I also had conversations with her about you know, high level like

what are you saying? What does this mean? And so I did have like those two mentors who I hopped on maybe one or two phone calls with UM and then yeah, I mean I never my dad, I think, when he knew I was going to give a talk, bought me one of those like Ted talk books. I never read it. As much as I am type A, I also love winging things and I'm like the queen of leaving everything to the last second. And I remember

before going on stage, I actually hadn't rehearsed it. I have been rehearsing it, of course, but not like many many times. And right before I went on stage, I was like starting to blink because I also memorized everything verbatim. Because I've never given a talk before, I didn't have the experience to be like, here's my high level subject. Let me, you know, ramble on that for three minutes, which maybe I can do that now. So I memorized the entire eighteen minutes word for word. UM, and yeah,

I don't. And you know, you know, in that moment I started to blink the I was about to go on stage, and I just said, Victoria, even if you did no prep, pen, you had no idea what you were going to say, Like, you could go talk about this for fifteen minutes because it's your life and it matters to you. So I also think I just came back to like the fact that I was speaking about something I cared about. I don't think I could have

ever given a TED talk on chemistry. Victoria, wended your own journey with mental health start and if you could share with us what that's been like even until today. Yes, So I did not struggle with anxiety or depression until college. Looking back, I definitely UM have struggled with body image and food since I was probably thirteen years old. And at the time, you know, I thought, oh, well, like everyone's on a diet, everyone weighs themselves, everyone tries to

lose you know, two pounds a week before the school dance. Like, I didn't think any of that was disordered or unhealthy or toxic, you know, And in hindsight, it's like if you're fourteen drinking a slim quick shake, something's wrong. So you know, those issues definitely had been there throughout childhood. And then in college, you know, I had never experienced anything like the performance anxiety I was hit with as a college athlete. I was always confident, the go getter.

I mean, I earned a starting spot as a true freshman because I was that confident and that fearless. And then we're weeks into season and the pressure has mounted. Practices intense, were undefeated, the number one team in the country, and that's when I really start to break down. And and it was a shift in me that I have

never felt anything like before. Just no confidence, um constantly thinking of the worst case scenario, constantly assuming everyone was out to get me, I was going to make a mistake, you know, hands shaking, eyes watering with tears, unable to sleep at night, and just being like, what's going on? And I actually, when I was cleaning out some boxes the other day, I found like my college journal, and I have this whole paragraph where I detail performance anxiety,

but I didn't know what it was. I was like, I don't know why I can't sleep at night and why I always think about making mistakes and I'm not confident, Like I didn't know what it was because I hadn't had that conversation. And how about today. I feel very

happy now and and in tune with my emotions. And if anything, it's something I have to think about, is how long can I continue in you advocating and kind of recalling this traumatic time in my life as much as it is for the betterment of current student athletes.

And I know the conversation is still important, Like I've been doing this since and I'm happy now when I'm planning a wedding and I'm not depressed, and I'm not an athlete, and it's hard for me to go to schools and speak and really mentally put myself in their shoes when I work so hard to get out of them. So I am in a great place, and I think I try my best now to balance that with also the experience I have that is also work. I'm passionate about.

If you had to give a TED talk today, what would it be about if I had to give a

TED talk. I think I'd want to talk about the fact that finding meaning, purpose and success in life doesn't have to come through achievement and going to the top school and being on the top team and having followers and money and being a New York Times best selling author and all these things that we are like raised in condition to believe that like equate to happiness, actually don't, and that it's enough to just want to have a

joyous life. And when you think about people you encounter, I mean, when I meet someone who's happy and joyful and they're radically authentic, that is inspiring. I could count the people on my hand the few people who I think are joyous and genuine and that actually impacts and inspires me when I'm around them. And so it's like the way that we can change the world by being ourselves and cultivating happiness can cause the ripple and the person you meet in the next person you meet and

change the world. You don't have to be the next Oprah win through the next few jobs. And you know, that's like something I've been sitting with a lot recently because as much as my whole career has come out of the anti you don't have to be perfect, you don't have to look perfect. I kind of got lost in Okay, well, I'm gonna be the best influencer who talks about being real, Like I'm gonna be the most

popular influencer who encourages you to be yourself. It's like the achievement snuck back in, and so now I'm trying to dial back to, like, you know, how can I manifest happiness in my life and not worry about what's happening externally? Are you joyous? Yes? I would say that I am. There's definitely uh. I think there's one main thing in my life I wish could be different which would make me more joyous. I think I thrive off

of talking to people and interacting with people. And I am self employed and I work for myself, and I'm alone a lot of the time, and it's fairly hard for me to just create environments Like I miss middle school when you would show up in seventh grade and you all took math class and science together and you've got to go to recess. It was just fun. And I think now as an adult, you have to like make plans to hang out with people, and I think I I would love to find a way to have

more community in my everyday life. I've thought about maybe I want to do like improv classes. I'm not an actor, I'm not a comedian, but it would just be fun to go somewhere with no phones or computers and be uncomfortable with other humans. So I don't know. That's why I'm trying to work on. But overall, yeah, i'd say I'm joyous. And now a quick break. Can you envision a life where your not online as much for you, you aren't speaking to your social media following, where that

isn't happening. What does that look like for me? It does actually make me really happy when I have a creative idea and I get to execute it and make it happen and then put it out into the world and like see comments that it's helped people. So that definitely does make me happy and bring me joy. I do think I've realized that there's happy medium. So I've had to kind of think about, you know, how can I compartmentalize the fact that, yes, this is my job and so I have to do it, but also I

want to make sure that I don't pass away. And if you know, the Higher Power broadcasted the hours I spent on my phone that it doesn't equate till like twenty years. That would like I think discussed me right, But I think I'm on that track. So I can't imagine myself maybe not online because I also have to support myself and make money. So it's it's interesting, but I also love my job. I'd rather be doing what I'm doing than like doing something I hate. How long

does it take you to make a real video? It depends. I mean, I you know, a few weeks ago, I had this thought on boundaries, and so I pull out my phone and it takes sixty seconds to just record my thoughts and put that out into the world. Other times, if I have, you know, an idea of a video I want to make, where maybe one parts in the kitchen, the next parts on the couch, the next parts outside,

it takes a little longer, but it's fun. I mean, when I was in like sixth grade, I used to make videos and music videos with my friends, and so I love the creative process for sure. Is there a team behind you and I are your videos planned out? I have like three people who worked for me part time, who like assist with various things, whether it's communications and scheduling, help with the podcast. In terms of content, I really, I mean I do it all myself. I think that's

also a misconception. Is you know we see in the movies, you know, an agent in Los Angeles saying I want to make you a star, and they pull you out of a coffee shop and they like, do everything you need to do and you become the next Taylor Swift. Really it's not like that, And in this industry, you're not going to find anyone who's going to say, here's what you have to do, and I'm gonna help you

do it. Like No, they're either doing it because they're getting a cut of your money they want to make money off of you, or it's a friend who's meeting you for coffee and maybe they are genuine for that hour, but their life isn't dedicated to like helping you with your brand. So for the most part, I would say, like creators, it's coming from their brain, their creativity. They're

making the videos, they're doing everything. I very recently try to create a method to the madness by hiring like a content specialist who I meet with every Monday, and we go over like, what's coming up this week. You know, Tomorrow I'm trying my my wedding dress. I'm going for my first dress fitting. So we we realized that on Monday.

We then are pulling some ideas that I can film in the moment, you know, when I'm in the car, can I take a video talking about how I'm feeling, And then when I get back in the car, can I talk about how it went. So I do plan it in the sense now that I'm thinking ahead, but I have no idea what I'm posting today. You know, it might come to me. Um, we could finish the podcast. I'll be like, we talked about something amazing. I want to find a photo and write a caption that really

coincides with that. So, you know, it's intuitive, it's a lot. It's definitely an entrepreneurial life. Do you take breaks. I actually hadn't been really thinking about that ever, and I kind of worked with the rest of the world, you know, Monday through Friday nine to five, when like my fiance is working, I'm going to work too. But oh wait, on Saturday and Sunday, I'm also posting because that's when

everyone's on their phones and they're not working. So I realized I was kind of like working all the time, and even when I finished working on a Wednesday at six, like with what I have to do if Max comes home when we start cooking, or um, you know, something happens, or I try on address and it's too small. It's like I might think I want to pull out my my phone and like document this experience because it's on brand and it's helpful. So I realized I had no

boundaries and I didn't take time off. So now I have been more mindful about that, like the days I do put my phone away and it's away and I'm going to enjoy my night. Or sometimes I will take a Tuesday off or a Thursday off because I know I need to work on Saturday and Sunday. So I've been kind of leaning into that more. And it's only something I've recently become aware of. How did you meet your fiancee? UM? We met in college. He we both played sports at USC and so we met UM freshman year.

But then, you know, it took me a year to realize he was he was a good guy, and I should I should go on a date with him. So then my sophomore year, I went out with him, and uh, we've been together for six years. You've now worked with thousands of young women and girls. Have you noticed any patterns about confidence and body image and the evolution of that? Yes, I feel like and I can only, you know, make

this educated assumption because I'm current. You know, I'm not fifteen right now experiencing what they are, and I'm coming out from a different lens. But if I think about the fact that when I was in high school, the body image issues and dysmorphia and insecurities that I felt without TikTok, without the influencer, without all of those things, like and I was suffering, I can only imagine how that's been amplified now by the way that young girls wake up, grab their phone and then are waking up

to a photo of Kylie Jenner in a bikini. I mean, and that does something to you and it makes you think about how you look. And I just think that constant access to this perception of beauty that is unattainable, not often real, right, if there's photoshop or they're posting saying that they ate this for lunch, but they really didn't need that for lunch. And there's filters, and there's other people in your class whose parents do allow them to be on every platform and you're not allowed. So

are you missing out on the social things? And the cute guy that you have a crush on or girl is on Snapchat and you're not on Snapchat? Like so, I think we're seeing, you know, the highest rate of mental health issues we've seen. I mean, we're in a mental health crisis and it's sad and it's terrifying, and I have no idea like how I would want to handle it when I have kids one day. I do find it so interesting that even the idealized bodies have changed over the course of the last ten years, and

I wonder how that impacts body image definitely. I Mean when when my mom was growing up, it was being as thin as possible, like Cindy Crawford, you know, Twiggy, that was the ideal. Um, no one wanted a huge butt, Like having a big butt was like a bad thing,

And now everyone wants to have a big butt. You know, before no one really thought about your eyebrows or your lips or like contour and now everyone wants these huge lips and these really thick eyebrows and contour and like the same way fashion trends change, I think, of course, without a doubt, we're going to see the beauty standard change in a couple of years or I mean, it changes every single day. Whatever Haley Bieber and Kendall Jenner where today and how they do their hair, like, that's

going to influence people. It influences me, Like I love Haley Beeper. I think she's gorgeous and I love her fashion. So of course it's changing. But I think the important thing to point out is, like all of this is basically you know diet culture, and how diet culture works is by convincing you that you are not good enough the way you are UM, and then presenting a new standard that you need to be UM. That's going to change,

and it's going into continuous changed. That's the secret. They don't tell you that you can never actually reach that point UM, but they'll convince you you can, and then they will sell you or tell you to do different diets or work out or squat or drink this, do that by this, and you will get closer to that. And then when every when it doesn't work and you don't get there, never blame diet culture. Oh no, no, no, no, blame yourself. You don't have willpower, you couldn't do it.

You're not good enough. Try again, by again. And so when I really kind of took a step back and realized that that's how the billion dollar diet industry was functioning, you're able to realize this is ridiculous. I'm never going to get a magic wand waved over me that says you are beautiful in every way and you're perfect and you never have to change. Because even the Gigi headids and the Kim Kardashi they don't get that Wand there's people who think they're not pretty enough. There to this,

there to that. So it's complex. It's deeply rooted in our society in the way we talk, especially rely with you know, the generations before us. So hopefully by having conversations like this, we can kind of open the eyes of of everyone and kind of phase that out. Someone with your voice and the audience you have must also become a receptacle of people's problems, whether it's them contacting you after a speech or writing to you, or connecting

with you on a direct message. How involved do you get? Where do you draw that line? I would say that years of this has definitely desensitized me, and it like hurts my heart a little bit to say that, but you do eventually get to a place where it happens so frequently, and it's every single day, like within every single hour that I am able to just kind of turn it off and like just notice this email like saving for admin, like not for me, like because I've

had to protect my energy and way. And also if I were to stop and respond to every single message, I couldn't even do what I'm doing. That is warranting people sending the messages in the first place, and I know that they would want me to continue doing what

I'm doing because it was impactful for them. So it's also like not realistic for me to put the expectation on myself to be able to respond and be there for everyone and like and hold that space, because sometimes I can't even hold space for the people in my life who I do love and who I am supposed to hold space for and I asked as a show for so you know, I would say time has helped because in the beginning I thought I had to do it,

reply to everyone and make everything okay. So time has helped um, you know, really understanding my boundaries has helped. I talked about in therapy. You know, I've I've had I have had yes to kind of set limits there and also give myself permission to do that as well. And now a quick break. A lot of what we talk about on this show is women and money, because is there is such a huge relationship between a woman having freedom in her life and having the ability to

choose her own path and being financially independent. What role has money played in your life and how do you think about it for your future. It's so funny that you asked this, because like, I just came off my bachelorette and you know, I got an influx of questions saying, you know, this looks so lavish, or like how did

you afford this? Or who bought what? And it's like I know in my and of course I know in my life, like who bought what, the money that I make, what I what I spent on this x y Z. I'm almost afraid to have that conversation online because of judgment, because I think it is hard for women to talk about money for so many reasons. So it's like I shy away from the conversation, which I question too. I'm like,

should I shy away? Like? I also think too with the work that I do, it's like people like to think I don't money, like I don't know if it registers for people, Like when you see an ad on my page, I'm being paid for that, I think. I definitely love being financially independent, paying for myself. In my relationship, I'm the breadwinner. My fiance works in real estate. I know the day we buy a house, everyone will think

he bought it for us when he didn't. Like So, you know, I think about things like that, just constantly being the underdog and people thinking I don't make money, and and and vice versa. I definitely do come from privilege and I and I grew up in a family that was able to provide me with opportunities, and I don't have college debt, and so you know, those things are extremely significant. Okay, we have to do the speed round, So we asked a few quick questions. Who leaves you starstruck?

Who leaves me starstruck? Taylor Swift, will you be changing your name? After you get married, I'm going to be adding it. So I'll be Victoria Garrick Brown and then I'll probably slowly phase out Garrick, but legally, yes, I will be Victoria Brown. What show are you watching right now? I am watching that new dinosaur documentary thing where they like they have you guys seen that? It's everyone's watching

it right now. It's basically like David Attenborough and it's I think it's called a Prehistoric World and everyone needs to watch it. What is your morning routine? My morning routine is either one of two things. The first is snooze my alarm, check my phone in bed, put on pgs, and start working with unbrushed hair. Or it is I wake up at six thirty, I got outside on a walk, I exercise, I come back, I have athletic greens, I meditate, and then I start working at eight am. You never

know what you're gonna get with me. Well, Luke Burns has been listening to our interview and he always comes in at the very end with the male perspective, so he'll be asking question the final question when you got so I guess courageous enough to to put it all the pen of paper in in to talk about it. Were you previously Were you like a person that was lying about those say issues, I wasn't lying about it.

I probably was withholding the truth. I think I was worried that if I told someone, hey, I'm really anxious or I'm really depressed, that that would mean my coach would bench me. Why would he play someone who was anxious, My teammates wouldn't trust me. Um, my parents would fly down to school and like, take me, but I want to stay here. You know. I think I just didn't want anyone to know what was really going on, for fear of how that would affect the situation, which was

one that I really did want. I was playing and I was on my dream team and I was at my dream school. So I think I just didn't tell

anyone because I didn't know how it would be received. Um. And then once I slowly started to talk to people about it, and then I went to counseling, and I realized, you know, that it was okay, and that I was still a great volleyball player and my coach wasn't to bench me, And this is common, and this is why it happened to me, Like I felt so confident in that that then I was able to kind of take the ted talk stage, and I feel like I was

three steps forward. So when someone asked you if you're like when you were really filling down, when someone asked you how are you doing and you told them you were good, I think it was less than I was trying to lie. If I'm thinking of a situation where someone was like, how how are you and I was not good, I probably would like maybe start to cry and be like stressed, like not good. Like I would probably cry, but I would wait for them to say, no, really tell me what's going on. How do you feel.

It's like I wanted them to push me and say I want to know I care about you, and I would have taken the opportunity. It was almost like I was waiting for someone to do that um and so if they didn't, I would kind of keep its surface level.

So Sam, I think one of the most interesting things about Victoria, and there are so many, is that she seems like she's at this crossroads where she's asking do I continue to stand in this place of being a mental health advocate for something that is becoming further and

further in my rear view mirror. You know, after our conversation, I had a chance to download with my sixteen year old Ella, who was the first person to sort of turn us on to Victoria, and she was sharing that when Victorias speaks to young girls, it is so powerful and so transformative for their mental health. And I found it interesting that she was questioning, whether you know, she's not suffering now, so can she be this advocate? And I feel more strongly than ever before, that she should be.

She should continue with the work she's done and continue to try to inspire young girls. I think there's such a place for that. But I also think that you know, she's getting married. As you evolve in your life phases, sometimes you think you have to leave a part of your career behind, and it's probably too early to do that. And hopefully she'll she'll come to that judgment on her own.

I mean, maybe maybe she's an even better speaker on the issue now because even though she has moved into this more joyous place in her life, Like it shows that you can, despite all of the challenges for young women today, despite you know all of it, right, like, you can get to this place of joy and happiness in moving forward exactly. Thanks for listening to What's Her

Story with Sam and Amy. We would appreciate it if you leave her review wherever you get your podcasts, and of course, connect with us on social media at What's Her Story podcast. What's Her Story with Sam and Amy is powered by my company, The Riveter at the Riveter dot Co and Sam's company, park Place Payments at park place Payments dot com. Thanks to our producer Stacy Para and our male perspective Blue Burns