What's Good with John & Joyce: EP 8 - What Does Happiness Even Mean? - podcast episode cover

What's Good with John & Joyce: EP 8 - What Does Happiness Even Mean?

Apr 23, 202530 minEp. 8
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Joyce. I'm feeling happy today. You know, really happy. You're happy every day. Oh, no. It is a choice. It is a choice. Even when things don't go exactly our way, sometimes you just have to be intentional about it. I'm working on that each and every day. But she's just so fired up. Hanging out with you today, and just so happy that more and more people are tuning in to what's good, by the way. Welcome. So good to have you here today.

We're we're trying to be a reprieve, kind of like an escape from all the craziness out there. And there's some craziness going on. Right? Have you noticed, have you noticed this right now? Yeah. That's right. I don't know is I am good. Yeah. Three four couple months. Checking in on the weather. Yeah. You to tell you the. Yeah. It's just so great. And I know that I've done my work. My work is voting. My work is prayer. Yeah. My work is just doing my work right.

And I feel really, really good about my life. And I when I say a universal prayer, it's for the whole world. I want all leaders to be good. I want God's grace to touch everyone. One of them. I want stars to just twinkle about them so that everything will be great. And. And then I want to go. Right. I just let it go because there's only so much you can do. I mean, you have to pray for those.

It's very, very difficult if you have a certain leaning wherever it may be, where we're talking about in life. But like Jesus said, pray for your enemies. Yeah. Pray for those you disagree with. And that's really difficult in this climate. I get it because people have some such strong opinions either way. But, you know, my wife and I made a decision. You know, no matter who's in the white House, we're going to be happy in our house. Yes. Be good.

Because we know there's a divine government out there. Yeah. You know, so I'm going to cheer people on no matter who they are, because I want us to all win. Listen, if our happiness, depending on in our particular country. Who's in the white House is every four years. No, I don't want to. No, no, no. I want to live like I used to live. I'm happy with who's ever in the white House because I believe in a divine government, and we're just going to go out there and do what we can each and every day.

We said, we don't. We're not going to be talking about politics and we're not, but we're just kind of a general statement. But, you know, just go out there and because we're talking about happiness in somebody, so many people are miserable and they base their existence on external situations. Right. But we can make that decision each and every day that, okay, whatever happens, I'm going to make that intentional, designing my life to go out there and be happy.

You know, there's a story that went around for a while and, it's about a woman who, an elderly woman that had to move from her home to a sort of a nursing home and families and home, and she, you know, was nearly blind and so while she's waiting for her room to be fixed for her, someone said, do you want to just come in and take a look? And she says, no, it's okay. She said, are you upset because, you know, you're moving someplace? You know?

She said, because no matter where I am, I will be at peace. I'll be happy because I'll make it. So she made the decision. I made the decision. Somebody had asked me at the gym the other day. Choice about something. So, how's your day going so far? John, I said it's going great. I made the decision before I left the house, and he liked that. He said, I like that you made the decision. Yeah. So just be proactive. We really can do that no matter what is happening.

Again, you know, out in the world, there's a whole body, you know, things happen. Again, I keep going back to my accident. But I think of that because I wake up with sometimes different things and, you know, in my neck and in my back, and then I switch it to another one. Yes. I'm alive. And how blessed I am. And that must mean I have a lot more. Have you? Means you have an assignment. You're still here. You're still here. And that's so important.

Just to understand gratitude, we talk about gratitude. You can never talk about gratitude enough. But gratitude an attitude of gratitude is just so, so important. And again, it's not easy. We have to be, keep using the word intentionality. We have to be intentional about it. Be mindful. Mindful to the same way that you're going to make a choice to be grateful for the bad use. Yeah, people know I was. I was watching, a show yesterday.

The documentary, people that are homeless just, you know, whatever you call it. The one man said, as long as I, as long as I can get some blankets, you know, I'm good. And I thought, how many people right now sitting in the homes think about that. Yeah. If you've got a comfortable bed and pillow and a blanket, a roof over your head and food on the table, you got. Yeah. You're good. And you think about some people that complain.

And I read somewhere, Joyce, that, you know, if a person makes 30 or 40,000 a year, which we don't think a lot here in this country, you're richer than 95% of the rest of the world. You know, I mean, think about that. Yeah. I even have a little bit of money in a savings. Right, for $20 a week.

And yeah, you know, and I know things are tough and high prices and all of that, but I feel like I've lived long enough that I remember going to do I remember my parents, I remember them and my grandparents talking about, you know, the, what he called the. Yeah. The depression. Yeah. 1929. Yeah. Where the rich guys were throwing themself off the building. Yeah. Their whole persona was about their money. Their identity was based on money. Yes.

That's dangerous because should that leave you, can you find happiness? Which is winter, right. Yes. As long as that is not your whole identity. Right. Right I agree, I mean I have I'm not I have nothing against people being wealthy and having money. A lot of those people create jobs and they do a lot of good things. And we're fortunate I'm not I'm not a class warfare type person, to be honest with you. That way, I like to see everybody do.

Well, but at the same time, if we're worshiping money, I think that's the problem. Money is a means to get where you want to be. You know, that's my $0.02, no pun intended. I do think that's one of the number one things people complain about even more than their health. It's, they want more wealth because they, you know, we feel that it would make us happy in one sense, yes. It's like, it's a cushion. Security blanket. Sure, sure. You know that you have that.

But if you never get that amount that you want or that mansion you want. Yeah. If you're watching shows like, The Real Housewives Of or whatever, and they all have this immense wealth because they marry rich husbands already and opportunities to do that, I see that they still struggle with stuff. You bet you reality TV, because I like to see that there's this real human side of you too. Marriages break up their sad money gets lost, businesses can close down. And you know, so we learn from that.

Where is our true happiness? Yeah. And I don't relish seeing that. I mean, I know some people will see these Hollywood couples, they think they're spoiled this and that and they and when they have challenges, some people actually enjoy that. And I don't I don't want to go down that route. They're human beings.

The thing is, we can't really relate to them because their level of fame, everything they do is covered by the press, so they never have a chance to work anything out themselves like we do. You know, if we have a situation is privately handled in many cases, but everything they do is in the court of public opinion. Right? So I rather than I want them to succeed when I hear about marriages that are happy and these people are really famous actors actresses, I'm thrilled about that.

I'm, I'm cheering them on because I like to see these folks lasting a long time and being happy. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, I'm I don't just because they're making a ton of money and they're actors, actresses, singers, I don't know, they're human beings too. We can't forget that, you know? And it's it's all relevant speaking about them, because I used to work with a lot of very, very wealthy people.

But I also know that especially in the corporate world of entertainment, you can make a movie, you can make $20 million immediately, and then you're elevated to that lifestyle because you can't really live on the same street because people know that you're not you're not sure. So maybe you moved to a nice gated community so your expenses go up. Well what happens when all those expenses are really high. It suddenly movie doesn't come around for ten. That's right.

So yeah I, I look at everyone as oh we're all the same. I was you and I were talking before, I think I mentioned this in a previous episode about The Crown, the TV series, I loved it, but you look, you look at them this famous, the famous, you know hierarchy that they that they are the hierarchy. And, you know, you think that they have all this privilege, but they were so dysfunctional, such a dysfunctional environment, and they felt like they were prisoners.

They had all the money in the world, but they were so unhappy. Yes. And they have a certain way. And that's right, that the Queen. Exactly. The Queen would always talk about not as a family. It's a system. Yeah. And it was just the institution. An institution, but also a system that people had to fit into that system. Right. It wasn't about them anymore, or they had to put their desires second to the Queen. It was all about the Queen. And I was watching this with my wife.

Patty is thinking, wow, fascinating. I'd buy it, but I would not want to live that kind of life. No, no, Princess Diana, you know, so breaks my heart every time I, you know, I would look at her what could have been. Yeah. What could have been. And she was so unhappy in so many ways. Like she's 73 people in that match. Right. So she feels under obligation. Got to be a virgin at that time. Yeah. Yeah. I think right after that. Right. Yeah.

So when I think about happiness, I always think of this little, little man. Oh yes. Yeah I know it's kind of tough to pronounce his name, but I remember he, he passed away, I believe, when he was 13. And he had this, condition that he was born with, and he wrote books about poetry, and he made the news a lot. So a lot of you out there, you're going to remember him. But if I'm ever feeling down, I have to sign a book. I have a plan to set free passages and everything.

And by the way, I bet you reverse that every now and then I do, and I find Jesus. I highly recommend whether you have a journal or you don't have to stick things in your that make you feel good. Do you know? I did not know this was in here until recently because of the stuff laying in the, you know, was from my mom and dad. Oh, wow. And it's, it's and it's hard to just go to this for a second because this really made me happy. Yeah. To a daughter who's so thankful. Happy birthday.

And so she broke in there. You know, because you're right. So let me tell you about blah, blah, but it's her little sticky note. Wow. You still have that? I didn't even wow. And she said, Joyce, I started to wonder line and lines that for you to achieve. And I realized and they all did. But you know, I just this year. Right here. Yeah, I just, it just meant a lot to me.

So going back to Maddie, so it says on her second topic and this dying child said, what matters to me most is that you wake up each day and take a breath. I appreciate watching the sunrise, sunset, knowing that there's just not things to be messy and the wisdom of a 13 year old, right? Yeah. Because, you know, he knew he didn't know how long for this world. And you see, he kept fishing everything home from him.

I'm sure we appreciate the the wheelchair museum or the or the new tombs that they found that he could breathe a little bit longer with Albert at times, like Christopher Reeves. Yes. You know, and when you think of things like that and you see what they did, I mean, this this little book is impactful just by writing down some poetry and getting some attention, national attention for it, but not because he was making money news, because he was making copies feel good.

And then other children were writing to them. He was leaving a legacy. And I think about that because our radio station, we do a lot of benefits for Saint Jude. Right? And, every child, no matter what, they never have to pay to go there, no matter what the situation. So can you imagine that you're a parent? You get that diagnosis, you go to the doctor, think it's just like an injury. They fell out in the parking lot or something, and then you find out it's cancer.

And the first thing when you hear that C-word, and then Saint Jude said, come down here, we'll take care of your lodging, will take care of you. And when you go down to Saint Jude, to it's a happy place. You walk in is nothing but colors. All the different colors in the rainbow, this and that. And when you see the kids, many of them in just dire condition, they greet you with a smile. We go in there and we're like, oh! And they're like saying, I don't, don't be sad.

They're consoling us, Joyce or the Connecticut Children's, whatever it may be, it's just these kids are amazing and you'll learn so much about life from these 12, 13 year olds. And, you know, many of them may not be around for long because I've done so many of these radio towns where I get attached to a lot of these kids and then the next year we'll do it again, and I'll say to somebody from Saint Jude, so how so? And so I didn't make it.

And I was just throwing the football with this kid in the hallway the year before, and so great that you did. Yeah, I did, I mean, at least it's becoming less and less now. The survival rates have gone up, you know. Thank you. Danny Thomas and Marlo Thomas. Yeah, yeah. Don't you think these souls come to all the times just to teach us these lessons? Yeah. You know, again, it's. I can pay attention. We talked about that in previous episode.

About what you're looking for. The signs out there, they're everywhere. They're everywhere. So when you when you see this, like, if you're watching TV, you see all of us, you know, you see with the children in other countries that are struggling and we show you, some shelters, dogs and oh, every time I see this joyous show, I'm saying to my wife, I want to contribute to everything. Everything. I see this, I see, you know, tunnel for towers or the like.

I said, the dogs and cats, and they say, oh, I said to my wife, can I get another cat? No, we got to, you know, we got to scratch it up all the furniture, you know, but but but if I could, I had to I'd adopt them all the time. All the animals and all kids, you know. Yeah. Here's a little funny story about that. When? When I was young. You're still young, Joyce. I am, I am ageless, that's what exactly. You're ageless. We're all. That's right. You take yourself a certain age, you begin to active.

That's right. I unless my doctor, my wife calls me a child, and I'm proud of it. She says you're such a child. You go, thank you. She goes, that wasn't a compliment, but I'm taking it as one. We thank you so much. And I remember I was on the floor alone, no coloring, and my mom and dad were there and I suddenly got enlightened about what I want to do in life. And I blurted out, I said, I know what I'm going to do when I grow up. And you're like, what?

And I said, I'm going to have a it needs to be your house. And I didn't know that was another term for a house. Oh, she said, I didn't know that it was called a cat house. Really? What was that? Yes. So, so my mother gently. So it's not really a Oh well your intentions were good. Your intentions were good. Yeah, yeah.

So, but anyway, talking about all the stuff like, you know, the children and, and animals in wars and other, and then people have said to me, how in the world can you be happy when the whole world is forming? And I just felt like, well, the whole world has always been in trouble. Yeah. Except now we have 24, seven news, which really didn't have you 20 years ago. No, no. And and now it's everything's breaking news because we know how that works. Right. And industry.

Yeah. The more like so you have more people tuning in. They can get more advertisers. Right. And the more sensationalism according to these news networks, the bigger the ratings. Yeah. Many cases that existed during World War two. Oh yeah. Constant. Right. So it's always been happening around us. There's always been tragedies in our neighbor's house, in our own house.

And I just began to think that, well, right now you're asking that question because you feel really down about it and feel like you can't go on. And how can God let this happen? And those are all, you know, those are all legit questions. I think. I understand they weren't asking the question when it didn't hit home. Right. Because someone is always dying. Yeah. When I was a child or at most every second, every second something happened.

But we're I think we're built, you know, worldviews all the time to be inundated with that because it is a heavy load to carry. So you truly have to look for that peace in them and choice. You make a good point. I mean, it's okay to be aware of what's going on in the world. Again, we don't want to live in a bubble, but the 20 to 20 minute news cycle you can watch for 20 minutes and it's going to be the same the following 20 minutes.

They just keep running the same stories over and over again, and then we let it take seed and root in our minds, and we start thinking the whole world is falling apart, right? You know, but we have to kind of like, realize we're only here for a little while. So let's go there and enjoy life. There's so much good in the world. There's so much, so much good in the world. It's all way better than what we're. Yes, yes, for a short time. Yeah. I always mention song titles, you know?

But Billy Dean had a song. He was a country singer back in the 90s. Had a lot of hits. Only here for a little while. Go out. Look at that up. You know, and it's pretty much explains what we're talking about right now. Just find the joy. Look for the good. You should take a listen to it. The song. You're going to have to do a, an episode in at some point. Yeah. We talk about that with like, music and movies and come up with the good ones that make you feel good, right?

Because music to us shit, right? Doesn't make a shift. Oh it does. Music's always going on in our house each and every morning. Once we do our gratitude exercises and prayers and get up in the morning and go down the hallway, music is always playing and it's usually upbeat, positive music that we find to play. There's so much of it. Yeah, and you have to be again, like mindful is a great word because it makes you start to say, wait a minute, I can change this. I can change the channel. Right?

That's a great point. That's right. If you don't like what you're seeing, change the channel. If you don't like your thought pattern, change the channel. The movie that's going around in your head. You don't like it, change the movie, right? We we control that. Yeah. The way I keep my happiness during these times, which, like I said, is every time we weren't aware of it when we were children. But I'm sure our parents were going through stuff with politics and wars and things like that, you know?

But I just remind myself that, I have, the ability to not only change how I feel inside, but as well. So I do keep a distance from people who I know only want to talk about. Yes. Yep. And, and I speak for them because that's a miserable way. Yeah, it is, and it is a bit a detective, don't you think? It is thinking and talking and it. They say they say spirits are transferable in a lot of ways. And I think that that talk is to that toxic talk.

I don't want that planting a seed or infiltrating training. My thought if I find people that are gossiping, saying negative things, I'll typically politely excuse myself yes, or try to change the subject and not be rude. I'm not going to be rude. I'll never be rude to anybody, you know. It's just not my nature. But but I'm going to. I'll be respectful, but I'm going to change the subject or somebody's gossiping about somebody. I'm going to protect their honor, even if I disagree with it.

The way they're living a life. I'm not going to hop on the bandwagon. No no no no. Okay. Which the subject is, if someone is helping a topic, sometimes it's like, hey, where'd you get that shirt? Right. Exactly. Just rather, I love that shirt. Exactly. And I start focusing on that. Sure. Yeah. Just. Yeah, right. Shake it up a little bit. Like, where did that come from? But it works. Yeah. It's better than taking a by the shirt. Or are you got no. Right. Yeah. I sometimes excuse my allergies.

Allergies. Yeah. It's just so thank goodness for having a bottle of water right next to where you are and Kleenex. But, yeah, but it's good. But the good thing about allergy season. What do we have it? We know that the great weather is coming to us, so we'll put up with it because we know what's here. I like the heat. Yes, heat is on when fry. Okay, so happiness is not about the world has to be perfect for you to be happy. Good. It ain't never gonna happen. Ain't coming either. It ain't coming.

So we just have to find a way to be happy with where we are. Right now, right? You know, they it bloom or you're planted. When you wake up every morning I wake up, I think. I mean, I don't live in the same household, but it takes me a while. It takes you well. But I have this feeling that you can just start your prayerful life here, you know, go play the way. Yeah, man, I get before I get up, I, I've already done my gratitude exercises, my prayers. I look outside, I do like you do.

I look at the sun even if it's raining outside and it's an exercise, I just, you know, I thank God for everything. I'm grateful. Grateful for. So you begin, I begin. So I just find something. I'm just grateful for something that somebody did for me the day before, you know? And I'm grateful for this day that I have here.

And like I was thinking about today, the people I was going to see at the gym, you and I, we're going to be recording our podcast today that we get a chance to work with, with David and Steph here at our studios in Brantford. And you know that I got this amazing wife at home, and I got these kitty cats that I'm so blessed by. I just try to find a little thing. Sometimes it's harder than other days. You have to really dig deep because we don't always wake up feeling that way.

Sometimes I wake up feeling, I don't want to go out today. I'm going to stay in bed. Yeah. So we all go down that rabbit hole. But then I switch my thoughts around. I switch my thoughts around saying, yeah, some days you oh, some days you want to do that. It's just like we have those days every now and then and I look at the clock, do I really have to get up? Nah, let me just hang out for an hour longer. It feels so good.

But I'm not giving anything without even thinking about what happened yesterday. Yeah, just, you know what happened yesterday. This person that I met, this person said something nice or guy. It was a great lunch I have with a friend of mine. Or that coffee that I have was so good. My wife always says those little things. Really? You know, really make you happy, don't they?

Yeah. Great cup of coffee, a sunrise, a conversation I had with somebody at the gym, you know, somebody I met at the grocery store I hadn't seen in a while, or that cashier was so great I didn't have my card with me that day. She said, hey, can I put the store card in for you so you could save a little bit of extra money for little things like that make me happy? Well, That you right? Yeah. That. Yeah. It's those little. Do you think that's too little? No, no no no.

Just it grows and more good comes. It does. And as the older I get, the more I'm looking for that gratitude. Because I realize it, quite frankly, we're not going to be here for, for a lot longer in the natural. I mean, I mean, I believe that we live forever. I believe that Paradise is on the way. But while we're here, you know, we're basically aliens living in another world right now. In a sense, that's the way I look at it. But but make an effort. Remember, this is right.

You know, I'm just going to read this little bit of, oh, I love this. Yeah. Please read the whole thing. I think that it can be short on time, but just speaking about happiness, remember, happiness isn't about ignoring the hard times. It's about finding the light in that you stay rooted in your values, embrace the small joys, and let your heart be your guide. And that's it. Challenges will come and go, but you can still keep that peace inside.

And the more you do it so, the larger it becomes that it's not going to rock you up. Yes, you know you're going to be able to get right back into that and feel good. And don't you want to feel good? That's the only reason why people want a lot of our money. They just want to feel good. You have the power to do that. You have more power in you. And it's interesting. We all want a lot of things when we're healthy, but if we're unhealthy, the only thing we want is our health. Yes.

So really kind of inner health first. Oh my God, so many people I know, so many people that have a lot of money, but they're miserable. They're unhappy, you know, and some of them don't have their health. And one guy said to me at the gym the other day says, and listen, I mean, I'm, I'm not feeling too. I mean, he's got a lot of money, I know that. But he said I would trade it all in to get my health, you know? So the whole thing is just to enjoy each and every day because there's no guarantees.

There's no we only have today. We only have today. So let's make the best of it, make the best of it, and dwell on what's good in your life. Yeah. So we appreciate you watching what's good. We hope you share this with a bunch of your family and friends, especially if somebody you know is depressed or having a really tough time and they need something uplifting. I hope this program will help and be therapeutic to them as well. And we pray for you and your family.

And, remember, always look for what's good in your life. Joyce, always a pleasure hanging out with you. As a child. I love you, too. I've been.

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