What must people say? Hello and welcome to this week's episode of What Most People Think and I hope that you are watching out for the sound of police, the WhatsApp police. You must have heard this story. You must have heard this story. I'm going to bring in Scott Bennett, returning guest today. Obviously, we'll get to it in detail, Scott, but this...
Story about this middle-aged, middle-class couple being six coppers arriving at their door because of stuff they said on a WhatsApp group about a primary school. It sent shivers down the spine of middle England. Yeah, I know. It was an interesting one. I mean, it felt a tad like an overreaction, didn't it? Just a bit, yeah. The problem was, I think she used the phrase control freak.
She called someone a control freak. And obviously the best way to respond to accusations of being called a control freak is to send six police officers around. I'm raising issues about the leadership of this school. It might be slightly autocratic. I'll show you autocratic. We will get to that. One thing we were talking about as well was about this phrase just before we came on air.
about the uk being finished and i see i see a lot of that probably because of my sort of right leaning algorithm is that the uk is finished but then i remember the uk was finished after we voted for brexit and then also remember the uk being finished throughout after the credit crunch throughout
Early 90s recession. Is the UK always finished? It just depends on who's in power. It's come back more times than Aral Bishop, hasn't it? In Neighbours. Everyone's finished. I think it's your idea of what's finished, isn't it? like someone was like the stamps have gone up two pence that's britain finished the world's gone mad that's my favorite phrase online is when people say the world's gone mad and what you realize what drove them to say that the world
had gone mad was that they had to reposition a zebra crossing because of squirrels. Yeah. It's always low level stuff. I think when you actually think about politics, I think if it affects people on a low level daily basis.
Is that what most people care about? I really do start to believe globalist politics. Do people really... engage with that as much as you know someone's put a traffic calming speed bump down the bottom of your street it is the small stuff it is i mean you're absolutely right what most people think is that fix the fucking potholes and i can cope with a lot of the other stuff
Yeah, I mean, I must admit, my worry about North Korea is sort of, it diminishes when I'm having to replace the shock absorbers from the same bottles. I feel like going, Kim Jong-un would at least have... Smooth roads. Yes. Yeah. He's not all bad. He's not all bad. We are going to be talking politics. The WhatsApp police will come to that in the second half of the discussion. Before that, so we're recording this at half three on...
Monday, the 31st of March. And Keir Starmer did a big speech on immigration earlier. So we'll be responding to that. And in the Patreon only, Comedy Entertainment has finally had another hit on Amazon. Have you heard of this, Scott? Last one laughing. Yeah, it's a smash hit, isn't it? Yeah, last one. And the principle of the show, for people who haven't seen it, is that comedians have to try and make other comedians laugh. And if you laugh, you lose, basically. I just...
it's thought like immediately as a comic i've done about you but i catastrophize to the worst point is that a lot of the clips have shown comedians struggling not to laugh but i would worry that if i was on it the clips would be of comedians finding it very easy not to laugh and just
Showing outward contempt. Yeah, it's that sort of thing. We've all had those sort of gigs where if you filled the room with those sort of people, you'd be like, oh, this is a... walk in the park this is yeah yeah the first one laughing yeah the way around it's on its seventh seventh series yeah but what we're going to discuss it from the point of view is comedy entertainment has finally had a hit what does it mean for the industry
and we'll be coming up with some ideas of what they should pitch next.
new patrons so as you know we rinse the names of new patrons by just based on their names and anybody that joins up to the patron gets the podcast early ad free and with bonus content to start off with we've got a one namer emily now think that that means that people are working in particularly progressive environments and can't be publicly outed as somebody who likes this podcast so where do you think emily was it probably at that primary school
Maybe. I see her as an illustrator in a shed in Surrey. with the door open and the birds tweeting. I see her as sort of maybe an Enid Blyton character, an Emily. Or maybe she's making fragrances in a bathtub. What, some sort of cottage industry? Cottage industry, fragrance by Emily.
know that sort of thing and it fucking stinks and and she's barely sold any and none of the family have got the the courage to tell her how bad her fragrances are it's sort of that thing where you you see that couple on grand designs where one of them you know has got a small cottage industry darning wool and they've got a budget of 11 million and you think how what is what is in this wool gold leaf it's that sort of cottage industry i think yes and emily i don't know what is in it what era
is an Emily name. Emily sounds like quite a willowy sort of woman that might need to have a lot of lie downs on a chaise long. She's got one of her headaches. Yeah, Emily's retired for the afternoon in a room where there's a breeze coming through the curtains. Emily was overcome. She was overcome. We've got, couldn't be more at the other end of the name spectrum.
here it's tony tip top tony tip top sounds like an early hard house dj you know like hard house djs often had these comical names that sounded like they were already your mate like scotty b yeah yeah rosie and jonno Tony Tip Top. Tony Tip Top is a mobile wedding DJ as well, potentially. It is, yeah. I sort of imagine, I can imagine wherever he's sat, he's got flashing traffic lights. Wherever he's sat.
Yeah, just in the middle. I can imagine Tony Tiptop written in that sort of font that's the 80s font that does DJs and also... burger vans of questionable hygiene rating. Yeah, he's still doing clip art. All his promo material is done in clip art. We've got Jane Howell. Jane Howell sounds like one of those acerbic columnists you get in a right-wing broadsheet.
Jane Howell, yeah. She wrote something absolutely excoriating against Meghan Markle's new Netflix show. Yeah, Jane Howell. Also, I can imagine that being someone who runs a solicitors, partners with someone called... A Simpson. Howells and Simpson. We'll take care of your divorce. Well, the moment you put in Simpson, it did sound like quite a high-end solicitors. You know, like the company that make... What was the one that made the bras for the royal family? Penn and...
Pen and Rigby. Yes, that sort of thing. Oh, yeah, that's very, isn't it, by Royal Appointment. Yes, yeah. Yeah, Howells and Simpson by Royal Appointment. taking only royal marriages. That's all they do. They do royal divorces. Or they do jockstraps for the male. The male members of the royal family. The male members. Yeah, that's very good. You see, you do jokes when you don't even mean to. They're just extra support for the polo competition. That's what it is. Yes. Domain talking point.
David Domain, our super Patreon that refers back to previous week's shows. He says, lovely to hear Andrew Doyle back on the show. I like the reference to Muff by Andrew Doyle. You know Muff is a place in Northern Ireland? I did not know that.
How is it spelled? As it sounds? Exactly as you think. Yeah, yeah. And they've also got a distillery called Muff Liquor. Incredible. They've really rinsed the angles on that, haven't they? They have. Well, there's Muff Barbers, Muff Diving Club, and the Church of Muff. And there used to be a chippy called Fishy Muff as well. Wonderful. Do you know what? If I was there, I would open a place that does piercings and call it Ear Muffs. Ear Muffs, yes.
Muff groomers. Yeah, I think it's an endless possibility, isn't it? It's in Northern Ireland, I think. But yeah, I'd like to visit Muff. It's been a while. I'd quite like to see a church with, you know, the signs outside the church where it says the world is not a muff. Gives you a little motivational quote every morning, but still uses the word muff. Or muff twinned with...
Shinge cum Wendy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sort of thing. Muff twinned with vulva in Bulgaria. That would be wonderful. Muff twinned with cockermouth. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, I think we got as much out of that as we could. Are we talking about show titles? What's the name of your current tour again? It's just called Stuff.
So I always try and have one-word titles. I think they're quite impactful sometimes. Stuff. Very much suits your no-nonsense. You're getting quality stand-up. I'm not fucking about with a concert. I've called mine basic bloke.
So I think we're coming from a very similar species, but I have got in a tortured pun into mine, which is there's no bloke without fire. And following on from that, David DeMaine says that Stuart Francis' last stand-up tour in the UK was... called into the pun set i don't think you can beat that no that's brilliant that's really good yeah and it sort of suits his style as well doesn't it perfect he was really good at stand-up and then he just went yeah yeah i'm done with that see ya
Yeah, I think there's people who can disconnect. I sort of admire that in a way. I've often said I'd quite like to do Lee Evans and retire, you know, right at the peak, not just sort of keep eking it out. I think I'm going to be eking it out. said that i'm going to be 70 and going to hall i think that's he he did that after i think his 20th oh two mine would be after the fourth time that i've done the reading concert hall and i've gone you know what
700 seater, done it four times. It's best to go out of the top. That's my O2. Look, it's still a decent, you know, still proud of it. But yeah, he was able to make that decision after God knows how many times. I mean, like Peter Kay, how many times has he done?
I mean, this is huge, isn't it? I mean, we're talking, there must be no one he's not played to. It must be millions of people now. I always think it might be, yeah, it might be that thing where they go, listen, Scott, this is your fourth time at the Octagon. We'll go for Reading venues.
You've filled the stalls, but the balconies are empty. I think it's time to call it a day now. I mean, it is that thing. When you tour around the kind of we do, you're looking at the stalls. You go, if I can fill the stalls, I'll be all right. Because they don't look up, do they?
Neither do I. Yeah, that's the thing. It's totally true that I've actually had discussions with people where we go, we'll put it in there because as long as we fill the stalls. As long as you fill the stalls, you know we need, you know like shire horses that have those blinkers from the side. We need them from the side.
Tom so that we don't we need a dog with a cone on that doesn't lick itself you know the cone so I can only just see the stuff just the sound man that's all I need to know as long as he's laughing
I also wrote a piece for the iNewspaper, which was just about being judgy. I just wrote a load of insults about different kinds of people. I saw that. I saw that. Yeah, and it was quite fun because everyone that came back and had a pop at me, I was able to say, oh, you're joining in the spirit of the article.
here yeah that's a bit judgy d and it was just an opportunity to get some observations out there really and one of the things that i said was about people that use like buzzwords or journalists that use buzz buzzwords like the one this year has been transactional uh in relations to donald trump everyone talking about things being transactional gaslighting was a word it's one I don't know what you call it but a word that when you say it it brings status with it it shows that you're in the club
right yes so a while ago it was just lying but when people decided that lying wasn't enough we needed to have gaslighting david domain says that it's still all the rage that word on the internet uh people often erroneously use it to mean simply lying most prevalent misused buzz phrase this decade has to be literally unless you're
talking about wording that could be misinterpreted as figurative or metaphoric literally is not the word you need. I mean, I suppose words suffer from inflation and distortion. You know, like the word soon used to mean immediately. I'll be there soon. And then some fucking tardy dickhead ruined it for everybody. Yeah, yeah. Because they went from everything from a minute to three weeks. Yeah, yeah. I don't know who this person is, but I would imagine they're a plumber.
I'll be there soon. Or a minicab office. It was the DJ, the Top Tips DJ. He said, I'll be there soon. Missed the wedding. Never been the same since. Classic Tony Top Tips. Tony Top Tips behaviour, isn't it? What? most people think. Okay, the thank you and the fuck you. I'm going to do the thank you, which is, I don't know, I don't think I mentioned it in the breaking news episode on Friday, but I went to see Mrs. Doubtfire.
The musical. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm interested in that, yeah. It's good. How old are your kids? Nine and 14. So I think they'd still enjoy it. No, definitely. My son's nine and we went on a Tuesday, which was mental, going into London and stuff. But it was very fun.
funny he did some impressions like the guy that plays the robin williams character he's basically the whole show because he's got to do physical comedy he's got he's got to do voices and he did some impressions and it was it was like it's always that thing with impressionists is they do a feud are up to date And you go, oh, yeah, that's Harry. Yeah, Prince Harry. Oh, that's Donald Trump. That's Donald Trump.
Okay, that's Kermit, but still good, still good. And Homer Simpson's a good one because he is legitimately still on telly doing that. But yeah, the cast were great, man. Do you ever do that thing when you see a musical where you look at the dancers at the back and you see, who's phoning it in? Do you ever do that? I look beyond. Yeah, I totally do that. Look at the engagement.
I think that's a performance thing where you go, you might not know where you've been watched, but I'm, I'm on to that. Oh yeah. Dancer seven in the back right hand corner, but got to say the whole cast of Mrs. Doubtfire. were putting in a shift. We're putting in a proper shift. So a hard recommend.
as the kids say. I'd love to see it. Do they do that bit where he has to be doing the interview with himself and then is in the restaurant? Well, what they did was they had like a woman in who was dressed as a kind of flamenco dancer that was singing a song that was very funny to cover that because obviously... to keep going backwards and forwards there was one bit basically so he did get down to his boxer shorts and I was just thinking what if his dick comes out like just accidentally
I don't know how you cover that. It would just be such a shock. Everyone would just have to pretend it hadn't happened. Yeah, I mean, it's one of those things, though. In the theatre, they can smoke if it's part of the performance. It's considered art. So I think a little slip of a bollock wouldn't be considered exposure. It's probably motivation. or something. And you know, unless you're particularly naturally...
because you'd think you'd be quite nervous, so you wouldn't be at your best either, if you know what I mean. Yeah, that's right. And unless they're very 80s shots, like the Kevin Keegans. Yeah, yeah. They were probably a bit longer, weren't they? They were probably a bit more Bermuda. I would double pant in that situation. I would go for a pair of Y-fronts with boxer briefs on top. Yeah, I would take the same approach I do when I'm wearing beige trousers now, a double boxer to absorb.
And a pair of socks, maybe, just for impact. What is the fuck you? For me, I've noticed it more now. I'm sure you're the same as, I go into petrol stations, I'm waiting to fill up, and people in front... They get out and then they go and do a full week shop. Very good spot. And you see it. And when they get a bag for life out, I feel like stopping them and going, no.
This is the petrol station. And I think it's when you see them ambling round and browsing while there's a few. They've forgotten that they've got a car on the forecourt. Yeah, and it's always that thing is, I think it's just when someone's...
We're all too busy. And when your life's paused like that by someone else who's trying to find saffron in a... you just feel like also a petrol station Londis you're not getting saffron there you'll be lucky if you get basil yeah yeah it's apocalyptic shop only so I always think I think that
and I keep seeing it again and again. And I think, I don't know if you've noticed it recently. It's just the lack of social awareness seems to be spreading a bit. So I, this article that I wrote, I could have added into it. Another one of my pet peeves is when, you know, when you're checking in for a flight.
right and there's a long queue and then there's a person at the front that will use that moment like their time to shine like they're temporarily a celebrity and they'll ask every single possible question about the flight that you could can i just check can i just check but there'll be a meal
into the flight with that meal bill? And will we get tiny sachets of pepper and pepper? And will you wrap the fucking cutlery in the thing or will it come? Or is it wooden cutlery? You know what? You'll find all this out in due time. What I think they think is what I had to wait. but now it's my turn. I'm going to sort of visit upon the people behind me. The same thing that I had visited upon me. I think those would get out of the fucking way.
Sometimes my wife has to tell me to calm down because I'll be ticking, I'll be saying stuff, I'll be talking louder. Get out of the fucking way. Yeah, it's almost like it's their first conversation. It might be the first conversation of the day. You know, apps and technology has stopped us conversing and then these people take this upon themselves to have that moment where their whole life spills out into someone's face and you think...
Not now. I think anything where there's travel and there's a deadline, not now. You feel like you should be able to walk in and go, not now. Do you know what they should have as well? You know what they should have as well? You know, like... In the swimming pool, you have fast lane, medium lane, slow lane. You know when you're going through security?
You should have that. Regular travelers go this way. If you're a fuckwit that even after all these years since 9-11 still doesn't occur to you that you might have to take your belt off, you can go in this lane. You can be with your own kind. It's a wild when you see someone who hasn't got themselves ready and it's like a surprise. You've got to have a strategy. Can you take your belt off, mate? And you feel like going, how? How?
Do you not know? But some of them, they literally just get, you think all this time you're waiting, I would love to know. Maybe I'm just jealous because I think that maybe their mind's just floating off into reverie. What were they thinking about? But yeah, you can tell we're comedians. We travel.
too much this is this is why i love staying in travel lodge mate because i've never ever had anybody else in front in the in front of the queue to check you know some of these hotels where they start showing you a map and the jacuzzis here and they stand there there's nothing to tell you at travel lodge all right they go room 19
Yeah, or they say, the vending machine will cost you a mortgage payment. That's all they need to say. There's nothing of worth. There's no toothpaste. We'll charge you for that. Just get in your room and be anonymous, and I'll see you in two days. And maybe they could give you useful life advice. like that 3am Kit Kat won't make you happy. Yeah, yeah. Okay, right, we're going to get on to politics now and talk about Keir Starmer's big speech on immigration.
So, Labour's poll numbers are sliding again. They had a brief bounce after Ukraine, Trump, Starmer pulling a letter out of his pocket. All right, with special vouchers that he gave to Donald Trump. And then since the spring statement, they started to plummet. I think Rachel Reeves' approval rating as chancellors are the lowest ever recorded, I think, right?
And they're also, with the local elections coming up, they're terrified of reforming the Red Wall. So, lo and behold, I'm not saying these things are connected, Scott, but they come out and say, we, blah, immigration, we don't like it. We don't like it. In fact, at one point, Starmer talked about people coming here illegally and he said, it makes me angry.
But he also said it in a way that was the least angry way that anybody's ever sounded angry. It just didn't fly. It reminded me of when Ian Duncan Smith was the leader of the Tories and he had a... He had a party conference and everyone accused him. They called him the quiet man. And so they'd written it into his speech that he was going to say the quiet man is turning up the volume. But he didn't even turn up the volume as he said it.
So he kept it at the same level. He said, the quiet man is turning up the volume. That's a different tone. It's not a different volume. So... I mean, am I being a cynic here? Are Labour just trying to play to the red wall or is this earnest? I think he does suffer with that staccato delivery. I think that is definitely an issue. I think also...
I watched a few bits about it today when he said he was going to roll up his sleeves. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. A party of practicality. And I always think, I think when I look at him, I think... He's the sort of guy that, you know, when you go in, he was the sort of guy who would pay a kid in Halfords to change windscreen wiper blades. I don't think there's any practical, it doesn't feel like he engages.
his persona with what he says. That's the first issue I think is there. And then when he said he's going to roll his sleeves up, it's all the sort of thing, we're going to roll our sleeves up, we're going to smash. We're going to smash the gangs. That's what he says. We're going to smash the gangs. And I feel like going, again, the language is not helping you there because it feels like you're now going to have to do something so drastic. But the reality is...
It's going to take time. I feel like they're a victim of their own pomp. I think Smash the Gangs did feel very 2024. I was surprised to hear it because, you know, the illegal arrivals are actually up this year. Now, in fairness to them, the returns are up as well. They said there are 24,000 people.
People have gone back the highest on record, but there's still possibly 1 million people living here illegally. And it's kind of very difficult when you're going into that space and your natural predators are reformed. who can just, because they won't be in power, could just say, well, we'll send them all back. Yeah, because I mean, I think as well that the Rwanda thing, which was the only other option, I mean, I looked at that, they've sent four people.
didn't they? I think some of them were volunteers as well. Yeah, 700 million for four people, which, I mean, I've had some expensive travel insurance in my time, but that seems like, and I think the problem is, is it's a really difficult thing. to solve and it and like you said reform do because it's such a clear-cut part of their policy and they don't have to do it but i think he doesn't
He doesn't inspire, does he? I think this is what's been the issue. Well, he did mention for, it was good to hear some sort of Keir bingo card from 2024 because he mentioned smashing the gangs. He also remembered, Gerard by work as director of public prosecutions. You're like, hey!
Yeah, you haven't heard that one for a while. I've never fully understood the rules on when he can mention that because it seems that when he didn't do stuff in that job, it's like you can't bring that up. Or when he was a human rights lawyer, everyone knows that they have to take on cases they don't want to.
he's proud of you can talk about that it does seem to be a little bit of a double standard but when he when he was the director you know what we did and he keeps talking to you about stuff that he did a while back and he went on to discuss in great detail about how
It was a very odd moment. He spoke about how the boats that they use aren't actually very good. And it was really odd. It was like, no one was thinking these are great boats, Keir. He said, you know, I'll use the word boats advisedly because they're actually dinghies. We've seen the fucking news, mate, right? Yeah. No one thought that they were arriving here on a QE2 or like on the Disney cruise, you know, but they've had this summit.
on immigration because it's a problem for a lot of countries. And we've had a few summits here now. We've had AI and we've had summits on Ukraine. I was wondering, are we going to grow the economy via summits? There's been a lot of talk about how do we get this economy moving again. You think all these diplomats here, all these politicians, they're all getting Deliveroo. We've just got to keep having summits. Don't actually solve anything. Just say, get yourself over to Blighty.
It's like the award ceremony approach, isn't it? Like where you go like, do you want a table? It's two and a half grand. You've not won an award, but you can come and have a dinner and you go like, hang on a minute, that's a free course dinner for 10 grand. Yeah. But you're part of the energy of the room.
They've got an organized immigration crime summit. That's what's happening. Is that what it's called? Yeah, which is a bit of a mouthful. Oikes. That spells oikes. Yeah, oikes. And people are all over the world are coming to the... Immigration Crime Summit, which the irony of that is wonderful, isn't it? Everyone's coming from all over for this immigration summit. Do you know what?
like you've got to arrive in the way that an illegal immigrant would have arrived you know so some of them are arriving in the back of like a lorry some of them arriving on their own dinghy and stuff just a great photo op with the press
Spin the PR out a bit. Yeah. Like you said, they do a lot of talking. They do a lot of climate summits. Summits, that's probably what, there's someone making some money out of the catering on the summit. That's what I mean. It seems like there's a gravy train at the moment.
you know like sort of like when the diversity come in you know there was a lot of people that that was suddenly a boom time industry I reckon now if you set up an industry called teaching teenage boys not to be pricks you get win loads of contracts in schools it's the same thing with summit so i think that we should you and i should position ourselves as the summit comedians of choice
Absolutely. After a hard day's summiting. Let's finish the summit with a smile. That's it. Finish the summit, a tough day. And during the day, we'll do a summit comedy workshop. How I get laughs at photo calls. Yeah, a couple of vinyl banners. Smile at the summit. That sort of thing.
Okay, a hype here. As you know, I'm going to be talking about my tour a fair bit. Basic Bloke 2, there's no bloke without fire. 60 dates all around the UK. Some would say that's a lot of dates. Some would say I now have weird dreams about turning up to places where there's nobody. It's definitely not related or one for the therapist. So, you know, Bedford, even if I just did the bees, Bedford, Birmingham, Bath.
Bridport. I mean, I could just, those just four of the fucking bees, Scott, you know, but I like to get around the country. I know you're a comedian as well. Not like these fucking. Not like these artsy ones that want to do 20 dates at the Soho Theatre, right? We're getting out there and about. Where do people need to come and see you? I'm all over. So I'm, oh God, I'm in dorking this.
Friday this Thursday that I'm in Leicester but if you go to scottbennettcomedy.co.uk I'm all over mate I'll be touring until 26 so we just keep adding dates i used to be for me the hard sell was leicester then we had a breakthrough last time the field the y theater that was a breakthrough aberdeen i've got to have words of aberdeen this is my fourth tour in aberdeen each time it's built up like by increments I think the first time I was there I did 120
That was a great show. I thought, oh, the next time it will really push on. I did 150. And then it's just gone up in increments of 30. And then this one, I was thinking, for God's sake, enough people have now seen me have a good gig in Aberdeen. It's just...
the same they won't let me win in aberdeen i don't understand is it could i could i console myself it's because of the transient oil industry that in any two to three year period people are relocated to like norway and fucking houston or something i'll tell you what it is i think you're getting...
Oil workers, because 30 is like a big minibus. Yes, yeah. So I think you're just getting like a minibus every year, an extra minibus of oil drillers. I just need to go, because I like going there, because it's got the hotel. It's one of the rare times I'll treat myself to a premier inn. But it's...
over the road from the venue. So you can sound check and just go back and just sit in your room for a while. So essentially your hotel room is the dressing room. And the hotel is in one of the grimmest buildings I've ever seen. You know, like these buildings that are so... brutalist and ugly. It's almost beautiful. The Premier Inn in Aberdeen is one of the most shocking looking buildings I've ever seen, but I'm very fond of it. It's a grey granite nightmare. It's a tower blocky.
Yeah, but I like that. Brutalist architecture, isn't it? If you're having a good gig, it doesn't affect you. If you've had a terrible one, it might be the, you know, the Joy Division icing on the cake. Is that bleak? I mentioned on the last story, you know, Stevenage Town Centre is so ugly, it's protected by law. Really? It's like an example of the worst kind of brutalism. So the government were like, we need to preserve this. What a fucking slap you. Wow. Fuck you for the people of...
Stevenage. That is like not treating a wart for years, isn't it? Knowing that you can get rid of it, but going now I've become accustomed to it now. I like a wart on my neck. There's nothing wrong with that. I like it. I miss it. I could balance things on it. I wouldn't know how to do up my tie without it. I play with it when I'm nervous. You know, that sort of thing.
Okay, we're going to talk about the WhatsApp police now. So there was a row with a primary school that started after a radio producer complained about the recruitment process for a new head teacher. And then the school contacted police.
after it objected to the parents sending multiple emails and criticizing staff on a private parent's WhatsApp group, right? So the school claimed that the couple were making disparaging and inflammatory... comments and they were blocked from attending parents evening so what a lot of people would have seen is this keyhole uh ring doorbell footage of the six coppers and looking as gormless what is it with modern coppers and just looking gormless they just look
look like fucking like stupid meerkats just stand at six of them six of them arrived for this arrest now first things first a lot of people said well you know people i don't know why you need a fucking swat team to arrest people for sending emails but Some people have said, well, it's a planned arrest, standard procedure when they're kids. I go, okay, but the standard procedure is wrong. If people can't turn up to burglary, Scott.
I mean, this is the problem for the public. Whether or not this couple, like, they might have really gone at them very hard. I still think six coppers feels like a lot. It feels like, you know, using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, doesn't it? It feels a bit over the top. I mean, I think as well...
I mean, I think back, I'm sure one of our teachers got punched at a parent's evening once. And I remember that was a big story. But she still carried on. She didn't go home. It was like that weird moment where everyone was like...
I think we'll just move this on. She was like, everyone's doing really well. And we were like, yeah. Mrs. Wilkinson will be running seven to 10 minutes late on tonight's birthday. Yeah, yeah. It's a weird one because WhatsApp groups as well, I think we all know probably in our... private WhatsApp group, we've all got something so incendiary we'd never work again. I mean, I haven't.
You know, I'm declaring that now. But I think, you know, WhatsApp group is the sort of last bastion of privacy. Or at least for your colleagues to think you're a bit of a backstabbing friend. Yeah, something, I'm not talking something illegal, but I'm talking something that would, you know. It would discount you an invite from a wedding, at least, you know, that sort of thing, isn't it? And I think it's that thing of, it does feel a little bit...
A little bit of an overreach. And I don't think they made any threats. I think it was they accused someone of being a control freak. And I think their child had some learning difficulties. I was neurodiverse. And I think they were trying to... get them more help. And I think it came from a point of genuine trying to do something. And I think they hit a bit of a brick wall of admin.
You've got kids. I've got kids. Schools are hot on admin. I mean, that is the one thing I get texts today saying they've changed the pastor. tomorrow are you okay and i'm like yes i'm not eating so i'm fine with that i get constant you know they ring me up sometimes i think you know has there been an accident she was like no your daughter's forgot a water bottle i'm like
It's 11.30 in the morning. The comms are out of control. They are sort of out of control a little bit. And I think it's that sort of litigious element to schools now that we've sort of grown a bit.
In fairness, if you lose the room as a teacher or headteacher in the WhatsApp group, it's like losing the parliamentary party in the Tories. The nines are going to be out, you know what I mean? You could find life becomes very difficult, but ultimately... private citizens are allowed to communicate about you in whichever way they choose and whoever screenshotted and sent
these whatsapp messages you're a fucking weasel i just think we have to have some rules left in society whatever someone said do not be that person that screenshots and sends them i mean them And where it becomes hard for the British public is we've watched marches in London where people were doing hate speech and the police have been too scared to intervene and they've said, oh, just tag and snitch and let us know and we'll sort it out later. They seem very casual in those.
situations where i live a vulnerable relative at the block of flats she lives in the main front door of the whole block was being kicked in regularly maybe six seven times every time they rang cambridgeshire police
No, we don't come out of stuff like this. We don't come out, you know, just like if they're actually in your flat, give us a call. Well, if they're in my flat, I'll be trying to fight them off with a fucking golf club, mate. So a lot of people will have had stories like this. So on the one hand, there's this concern, which is...
about state overreach and policing people's language. And the other hand, on a simple level, it brings that anger to the boil about what the police are willing to come out for and what they're not. It does seem like they're weighing it up on an individual merit, which is quite hard to swallow when you've got a burglar in a headlock. Just holding it going, yeah, I'm going to ring the police and they might. Come out. Remember that. And it's that sort of...
What you have to do is, while the burger is happening, just slag off the police commissioner in the WhatsApp group. Ah, yeah, start off the immediate one. Can't do anything. And I think there should be something in a WhatsApp group, though, that as soon as someone takes a screen grab... a little emoji just comes up, a little rat. Just a little rat emoji. And we know it's happened because...
I think it has changed a lot of things, WhatsApp. It's changed arguments. People don't storm out of pubs anymore, do they? They just leave a group.
you know you can read them immediately like there's nothing you do that it's so funny if you really want to drive somebody to the edge of their own sanity have you ever got any big um school whatsapp beefs or have you shared from the the breakaway group to the main group or well no i i try and stay we've we've got one on our street which is is quite wild it goes from everything from suspected criminals to does any one wants some lemongrass it's sort of it's quite a
a rollercoaster ride. And I tend to use it for recommendations for tradesmen. But you sometimes get the odds. I quite like nosy people on the street. I feel safer. I don't mind it at all if someone says, this car's been here for... 11 hours and i've been on the dvla website and it's not taxed and i'm gonna rip that sort of level of sort of feeling like you're living under a bit of a regime feels comforted at times if you're on the right side of the regime
Oh, that's the thing. I'm basically a sap because I would be on, I got sucked into it. Me and Gemma's like, oh, aren't they a bit nosy? I'm like, you're joking, aren't you? Ring doorbell footage. I want to watch that. I want to know what's happening on me. street you know well i mean what you just said there does make me think of of
maybe a double standard here with the way that the media covers stuff. Like I remember when they first started talking about Andrew Tate, they didn't really give a shit about teenage boys. And then it suddenly felt like a few middle-class columnists realized that they're lovely darling boys that go to private school. We're looking at this stuff.
too so then we had a swathe of articles like hand-wringing and then you know there's been issues with freedom of speech for a while it'd been quite clear like the telegraph columnist allison pearson you know was arrested from a message that she deleted like several years ago
And, you know, she didn't get that much sympathy. And then suddenly, you know, it's a radio producer and everyone thinks, well, they seem like, you know, decent people. And they are. Suddenly, there might be a problem. It feels like it has to literally go into their sort of strike zone.
Yeah, you mean like pierce the middle-class bubble as soon as it starts? Yeah, exactly. Because all of a sudden, it's got a bit closer, isn't it? Freedom of speech issues. They're going, hang on. I've slagged off teachers on WhatsApp. Well, the thing is, there is a bit of double standard as well.
because I don't know if it's like they are at your school, but my daughter goes to a very good school, but they have, if she's ill, they've got zero tolerance on children being ill now. So like, you know, when we were kids, you could, a child would... vomit in the class and they would get them out the class and within 10 minutes, they'd be back next to you. They would be literally back and they'd spend the rest of the day there. Now it's like one little...
Wet farts or something. And you're down to reception and your kid's sitting there with their pants in a bag and you're going, she's going, I hope she's going to be up. 48 hours they have to have off then. And you go like, are you all right? I was like, of course she's all right.
All right, look at her. There's nothing wrong with her. Do you know what was so funny there was when you said zero tolerance on kids being ill, my right-wing brain meant that they just don't believe them and they won't accept illness.
as being real. Yeah, yeah, I went completely the opposite. I thought, no, we just don't accept it. You've got to come in when you're, but it's actually the complete opposite. No, they just, they bundle them out like a bouncer in a nightclub. If they could get them out of a fire escape, they would. It's like...
they just contain. And I feel like going like, there's quite a lot of knee-jerk stuff. But yeah, the WhatsApp thing, I'm very careful. Aren't you careful, though? I'm careful because I just feel like going... somewhere someone's saving it you always know there's always a leak in the system there's always a leak yeah there's a one-to-ones i i i am
So if they're trusted enough, but I just don't know that one thing, I just don't know that many comedians. I know some comedians are on like multiple groups. I think I'm on, I'm on one, I'm on one WhatsApp group.
I'll never reveal who that is. Because one night when you're sort of scrolling through your phone, you're a little bit drunk, you'll hit the wrong group with the wrong message. It's bound to happen. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, hopefully the worst outcome of that will be that your friends like you a bit less. But, you know... we've seen this week what could happen is that you're quite right everybody get down get down I mean it was just
When you see the footage, it's just so weird because you've got to go, did they think that they were going to get stabbed with an email or somebody was going to spray WhatsApp in their face? So I've realized what my relative should have done. Like she should have said, instead of them kicking down the door.
She should have said they've sent a really upsetting letter through the door. Yeah, that's what you need. Or they've played me a voice note through the letterbox. Yeah, a WhatsApp voice note, which quite frankly questioned my leadership style. So for everybody else, it's going to be the end of the show, but me and Scott are now going to discuss last one laughing on Amazon prime, but we're also going to discuss what next for comedy. Are we going to see a return of comedy entertainment shows?
So, yeah, if you want to hear that really interesting chat I just had with Scott, we ended up speaking about supply chain issues in comedy, which was a genius phrase by Scott. So if you want to know what all that relates to, then join the Patreon only. And Scott, it's a pleasure to have you back, man.
your tour stuff. So if you go on Scott Bennett's website, he's got loads of dates coming up. You know, you do need to see Scott live. His content he puts out in terms of videos is, well, basically I've been onto him trying to find out how the fuck he does it with video. I've been WhatsApp.
And he was kind enough to share some tips. And the podcast as well. Remind us of the podcast. Yeah, so I'm actually doing two tour shows this year. So I've got the Stuff, which is a stand-up one. I've also got one called Blood Sugar Baby, which is a sort of narrative stand-up. Still...
comedy, but about my daughter. So it's like about a thing. So I'm doing that between May and July. So that's all on my website, two different tours. And then I've also got a podcast called Brew with the Bennets that I do with Gemma, my wife. There you go. Old Scotty, two tours there. Go and see him. Thanks so much for being on the show. And I think I will be back next week. No, I might be back later in the week with the breaking news, but I'll be back next week with Simon Evans.