S1E5 Hamlet is an Asshole, "The Opposite of Jason"

00:00:00:15 - 00:00:11:09
Rey
Yeah, that's fine. Yeah, I don't even. I don't even know I have a technique. I believe you have to show your palm children.

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Mikey
Let's let them smell your palms.

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Rey
Your palms. When you show people. I've been saying this for years and years, I tell everybody this. You show you show them your palms. You let them know that you're safe. You have no weapons in your palms and you can even say, Yeah, I'm safe. You meet a nice girl. You want her to know that you're safe, you just phones and and she knows this is a safe man.

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Rey
This is a safe man who's going to love me.

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Mikey
He's going to take care of me.

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Rey
Forever insecure me.

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Speaker 3
And my back.

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Mikey
So let's hear a lot.

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Rey
Tick tock. Yeah.

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Mikey
So we're fucking. We're in act three. Scene three. Still in the castle. Everything's in the castle. All right. We finished up this big scene with the play within a play. You know, we saw everything going on in there. Now, Hamlet, as you mentioned before, Hamlet has his evidence. That's the evidence he wanted. And the king is going to explain how his plan is going from this point forward.

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Mikey
Right. So the after the play, the king is scared. He says, I like him not, nor stands. It's safe with us to let his madness range. Like this is not a safe situation for me to have. Hamlet, mad Hamlet in the castle because the king just saw the play and he's like, Does Hamlet know something like that? Looked like my murder, right?

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Mikey
So we don't know where.

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Rey
He's similar to the.

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Mikey
Murder, though. Yeah, we don't know what's going on in his mind. Right. But the king suddenly really wants to get rid of Hamlet. And he says the Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, therefore prepare you. I your commission shall forthwith dispatch and he to England shall along with you. Right. So he's going to England with Rosencrantz and Guildenstern. He says the terms of are a state that means, like me, holding the kingship may not endure hazards so nears as doth hourly grow out of his brows.

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Mikey
So I may not remain king if we allow this danger that keeps coming like out of his head. So the king is afraid of Hamlet here and Rosencrantz and Guildenstern agree, right? They say, Oh, okay, bye. We will haste us. You know, it's line 26, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern leave and enter Polonius, right?

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Rey
Polonius is.

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Mikey
What is Polonius got going on.

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Rey
Some curtain shit.

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Mikey
My lord. He's going to his mother's closet behind the carousel. Convey myself. It is. He's saying.

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Rey
The curtain.

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Mikey
Again. I am going behind the curtains.

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Rey
Oh my God!

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Mikey
He says behind the carousel. Convey myself to hear the process. I'll warrant. She'll tax him.

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Rey
Home.

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Mikey
That's line 29. He says I'll warrant. She'll tax him home like he's talking to his mom. We're going to find out what's up. He says, and as you said and wisely was it said tis meet that some more audience than a mother since nature makes them partial should overhear the speech of Vantage. So you want somebody in there that's not this guy's mom because nature makes them partial, right?

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Mikey
Your mom is on your side. That's Hamlet's mom. And Polonius is kind of warning the king, like, you need somebody else in there. Yeah, you need me in there behind the curtain. All right, so he leaves now. So that says, is Polonius just stops in to be like.

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Rey
Did I mention the curtain?

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Mikey
It didn't mention curtain.

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Rey
Did I mention curtains? Because, I mean, I like what you're saying, but if we throw in the curtains, I think it's a home run. Yeah, I think it's a home run.

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Mikey
After Polonius leaves, the king is alone for a minute here.

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Rey
All right.

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Mikey
He says. And remember how before he had that little aside, where he expressed a little guilt, he says, Thanks, dear, my Lord, oh, my offenses. This is line 35. He says, Oh, my offenses rank. It smells to heaven. My offense is rank. Like my the sin that I. I did is really bad. It stinks, he says. It had the primal eldest curse upon it.

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Mikey
A brother's murder, primal eldest curse. We're talking about Cain and Abel.

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Rey
Oh, wow. He's going.

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Mikey
Back. Yeah, I've done what? The first sin is.

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Rey
So he's wowser.

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Mikey
Well, not the first sin, right? That would be eating the apple. But Cain enablers is back there.

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Rey
Yeah, that's.

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Mikey
That's the first murder. And that was a brother murdering brother.

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Rey
Right.

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Mikey
He says online, like 36, 738. Pray can I not though inclination be as sharp as will so I can't pray my stronger guilt defeats my strong intent and like a man two double business bound, I stand in pause where I shall first begin So I can't pray because I'm so fucking guilty I can't even decide what to pray for first, he says, What if this cursed hand were thicker than itself with brothers blood?

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Mikey
Is there not rain enough in the sweet heavens to wash it? White is snow. He's wondering here. He's done so much. That's evil, right? He murdered his fucking brother. Let's not forget that. And we're getting like the human side of Claudius here. And he's wondering, is there forgiveness for me?

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Rey
Now, the.

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Mikey
On line 51, he says, but, oh, what form of prayer can serve my turn? Forgive me. My foul murder. That cannot be, since I am still possessed of those effects for which I did murder my crown, my own ambition, and my queen may one be pardoned and retain the offense. So like, can you rob a bank and say I'm sorry and be forgiven and keep the money?

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Rey
Yeah. Can I have the cake and eat it too? Right. Can I. Yeah. I mean.

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Mikey
He's talking sense here.

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Rey
He's like he's making sense.

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Mikey
I obviously can't be forgiven because I'm not going to not be king.

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Rey
And who's going to say something? But the only reason he's saying that is because he thinks someone knows.

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Mikey
Maybe that's a good conjecture. You know, he's kind of Hamlet made him look at it. You know what I mean? Hamlet showed him his own crime. He watched the video footage of his own crime, and he's a little fucked up.

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Rey
Yeah. And he fucking threw down his hand.

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Mikey
So he got Claudius. He's wondering if he can be forgiven. And he says on line 69, Help Angels make a say Bow Stubborn knees and heart with strings of steel Be soft as sinews of the newborn babe like he's trying to soften his heart and may be will. And he kneels. Claudius is trying to pray to God for forgiveness.

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Mikey
He's on the floor, on his knees. I want you to picture this. He's got his eyes closed. He's got his hands up and clasped. He's like, Please, God, you know who walks in now? They're all.

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Rey
Alone. Oh, shit. Somebody's going to walk in Hamlet, Wowza. Wow, homeboy. All right, let's go.

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Mikey
So enter Hamlet. And it says behind him, Hamlet, standing there, the guy he's supposed to kill.

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Rey
Is it's going down.

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Mikey
He's on his knees with his eyes closed completely unaware of them.

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Rey
This is it.

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Mikey
The end alone.

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Rey
This is the end of the book.

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Mikey
End of the book, Hamlet says. Now, this is online like 73. Now, might I do it? But now he is a praying, and now I'll do it. He draws a sword, he takes his sword out, and he's thinking about it. And he goes and so he goes to heaven. And so am I revenged. That would be scanned. A villain kills my father, and for that I his soul son do the same villain send to heaven why this is based on silly, not revenge.

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Mikey
This is not the right time for revenge. Because if I kill him now, he's going to go to heaven. I want to kill him when he's going to go to hell for his deeds.

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Rey
Too late. He already. He already talked to the Lord and Savior. Yeah.

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Mikey
Well, Hamlet thinks that if he kills him now, he's going to send him to heaven online. Actually, 79, we're using the court to text, but there's actually a few lines from the folio that I really like when he says why this is based and silly not revenge in the folio, he says why this is higher in salary, not revenge.

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Mikey
Meaning if I killed him now, he should pay me.

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Rey
Hmm.

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Mikey
I'm doing him a favor.

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Rey
Why? So he's. I just. He's making excuses so he don't have to do shit.

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Mikey
He's got a lot of excuses. Well, this time, the excuse is that it's just not the right time. Because he's praying, he keeps rationalizing it.

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Rey
I just think.

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Mikey
Oh, go ahead.

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Rey
I just think, you know, this is that you saw what happened with at the play he got nobody around. He he heard some of the confession right.

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Mikey
Now, I don't think watered any confession.

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Rey
All right. I'm just checking. All right. What's going on here?

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Mikey
So he says on line 80, he took my father grossly full of bread. Right. Meaning he killed my dad when my dad was full of sins with all his crimes broad blown as flushes me. And how is audit stands? Who knows? Save heaven, right? So he's talking about his dad. But in our circumstance and course of thought, his heavy with him.

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Mikey
And am I then revenge to take him in the purging of his soul, right? Would it be revenge if I kill him while he's purging his soul, when he's fit and seasoned for his passage? No. Absorbed and no that one more hard hint. He puts his sword away, he says, like line 89 when he is drunk, asleep, or in his rage, or in the incestuous pleasure of his bed at game swearing, like when he's gambling.

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Mikey
I can get it if I get him right. When he's gambling, he's going to go to hell.

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Rey
He already it. Oh, my God. These rules. These rules like he already did. The ill shit. And the ghost said, it's cool for you to kill him.

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Mikey
Right? The ghost said, get revenge.

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Rey
Yeah. And technically, within the laws of Danish law.

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Mikey
Yeah. I don't know what the Danish law on this. He is the prince. He would be a regicide so I probably illegal it's.

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Rey
You think so?

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Mikey
Yeah. Regicide, definitely. You can't kill the king now. That's a coup, right? Whether or not it's a crime depends on who ends up alive at the end, right?

00:11:08:13 - 00:11:16:02
Rey
Yeah. So I think I would say back then it's legal. You could just take him out because you know what he did.

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Mikey
Yeah. Get the tell everybody, then they're on your side. Then you're the king. Good ending. So not what Hamlet's going to do. Yeah, right. So Hamlet wants to do it when he's gambling.

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Rey
Got away for gambling?

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Mikey
Yeah. Or when he's ready, he says when he's a swearing. So like right after he says, cunt, I'm going to stab him.

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Rey
Oh, my God. So much to wait for.

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Mikey
Or or in the incestuous pleasure of his bed. So either right after he curses while he's fucking my mom, I'll stab him in the back or while he's gambling. Those are good times.

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Rey
It's so much like timing issues with this. He's got to go. Where is he going to gamble? Is he got to go down the shore? He's got to.

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Mikey
Go to AC, he.

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Rey
Got to go to Atlantic.

00:11:58:19 - 00:12:01:23
Mikey
So I'm going to follow him to AC or he gets the stripper.

00:12:02:22 - 00:12:13:10
Rey
And it's it'll all come together perfectly. No, he's the E if he didn't have to go buy this whole prayer thing and you could just take him out right then and there. Right.

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Mikey
This is, as you said before, this is where the place should end. He's been talking and talking and talking through the whole play about how he's not fucking doing anything now. He's mad at himself for not doing anything. And then he gets all the he's like, First, I need some evidence, he gets the fucking evidence, then he walks in.

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Mikey
And this is why audiences at the time were really puzzled by the play and they thought it was kind of a padding device for like, why doesn't he just.

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Rey
Kill us, kill this mother.

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Mikey
Madness thing? Yeah. Is really fucking with us. Yeah.

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Rey
Because it's it's it's the opposite of when you're waiting for a, like for the bad guy or like for, like, Jason or, or whoever the the villain to fucking kill somebody like, you know, he's behind you. Yeah, it's it's going to go to.

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Mikey
He's he's the opposite of Jason.

00:12:59:19 - 00:13:05:18
Rey
He's the opposite of Jason where he's just like it's like, kill him. Yeah.

00:13:06:09 - 00:13:07:21
Mikey
He's just going to stand in there.

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Rey
Just. Oh, my God. Here's your killer. Yeah, he's. He's right there. Yeah, like, oh, my God. Yeah, just the ghost already told you? Yeah, for I think for for a lot of that. For a lot of other stories. It would be like the ghost tells me to kill him. I killed them and I killed them. Yeah, and that's it.

00:13:27:23 - 00:13:33:20
Mikey
Yeah. But but again, for listeners at home, if a ghost tells you to kill someone, don't do it.

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Rey
Make sure other people see the ghost.

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Mikey
Yeah. Who's your Horatio Tor.com?

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Rey
Who is your Horatio? Tor.com is pretty fucking good. So somebody get that it went. That is pretty good.

00:13:50:13 - 00:14:07:09
Mikey
This is kind of the end of the scene. So he's he's not going to kill him. He puts his sword away and he leaves. He walks out all right, and the king ends the scene. There's an irony here because the king opens his eyes and says he wasn't even praying. He says, my words fly out. My thoughts remain below Words without thoughts never to heaven go.

00:14:08:12 - 00:14:09:03
Mikey
So he didn't.

00:14:09:03 - 00:14:10:00
Rey
I'm just bullshit.

00:14:10:00 - 00:14:15:22
Mikey
And yeah, he didn't get forgiven. He didn't actually pray. If Hamlet had killed him right there, he still would have gone to hell.

00:14:16:10 - 00:15:01:04
Rey
He was just going through the motions. Yeah.

00:15:01:04 - 00:15:15:18
Mikey
So that's the end of act three, scene three. And we have one more scene here. This is a monumental scene. This is what happens between in act three. Scene four. We're going to see what happens when Hamlet goes to see his mother and Polonius hides behind the curtain.

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Rey
Okay.

00:15:17:07 - 00:15:23:01
Mikey
This is our next curtain call. So this is really Act three is a lot of curtain hiding.

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Rey
Yes, so much curtain hiding. This is crazy.

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Mikey
So in three scene for the Queen comes in with Polonius and Polonius now is coaching her raised.

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Rey
This is how you hide in back of a curtain.

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Mikey
Well, he's coaching her of what she should do. He says he will come straight. Look, you lay home to him, tell him his pranks have been too brought to bear with. Right. So give him a stern talking to and that your grace have screamed and stood between much heat and him. So now to give him a good talking to and tell him you have been protecting him because the fucking hammer is going to come down and you've been, you know, interceding on his behalf.

00:16:01:12 - 00:16:18:12
Mikey
And then he explains what he's doing. He says, Our silence, be even here praying. You be around. So he's going to go hide. And the queen says, I want you effeminate, withdraw. I hear him coming. And then it says The stage direction Polonius hides behind the Arras. So ponies sneak in behind the curtain here.

00:16:18:18 - 00:16:20:22
Rey
Can behind that damn curtain.

00:16:20:22 - 00:16:29:04
Mikey
We've got some wicked talk. This is Hamlet and his mom. This is the first person he was really angry at here in this play.

00:16:29:09 - 00:16:30:22
Rey
Wow.

00:16:30:22 - 00:16:56:06
Mikey
You know, at the end of Act One, he was really, really felt betrayed by his mom marrying Claudius so soon. So Hamlet walks in and says, Now, mother, what's the matter? This is like line seven or eight. The queen says, Hamlet, thou hast my father much offended. Now we're calling Claudius. His father, right? Claudius is offended. Hamlet, says, Mother, you have my father much offended.

00:16:56:11 - 00:16:57:07
Rey
Oh, jeez.

00:16:57:22 - 00:17:17:13
Mikey
She says. Come, come. You answer with an idle tongue, and he says, Go, go. Your question with wicked tongue. He's given it right back to her. She says, Why? How now, Hamlet? He says, What's the matter now? She says, Have you forgot me? And he says, No, by the rude nutso or by the cross. Of course I haven't forgotten you.

00:17:17:21 - 00:17:24:05
Mikey
He says you are the Queen, your husband's brother's wife. And what if we're not? So you are my mother.

00:17:24:15 - 00:17:25:20
Rey
He's been a wise ass.

00:17:25:20 - 00:17:26:03
Mikey
Yeah.

00:17:26:13 - 00:17:27:07
Rey
But factual.

00:17:27:18 - 00:17:28:22
Mikey
Yeah. He's not lying.

00:17:28:22 - 00:17:29:16
Rey
Not lying.

00:17:29:16 - 00:17:33:07
Mikey
You are actually your husband's brother's wife, you know, and my mother.

00:17:33:19 - 00:17:34:10
Rey
It's weird.

00:17:34:16 - 00:17:58:09
Mikey
Something happens here that I think really depends on how a director would stage this, because he says, Come, come. This is like line 17. Come, come and sit you down. You shall not budge. You go. Not till I set you up a glass where you may see the inmost part of you. So he's making her sit down and says, You can't go until I set you up a glass, until I make you look in the mirror.

00:17:58:09 - 00:18:18:20
Mikey
A glass is a mirror in that mirror you're going to see the inmost part of you like. So I'm not letting you leave until you look in the mirror and see what you've become. And now her reaction here is kind of like she's afraid of him because he has been going crazy, right? She says on line 20, what will thou do that will not murder me?

00:18:18:21 - 00:18:27:10
Mikey
Help. Oh, she's so she starts crying for help like he just said, sit down and I'm going to hold a mirror up. And she's like, He's going to kill me. He's going to kill me.

00:18:27:10 - 00:18:28:04
Rey
Oh, jeez.

00:18:28:22 - 00:18:39:13
Mikey
Polonius from behind the curtain says, Hey, help, help, help! Starts calling for help. He says, What? Oh, help! Hamlet draws a sword. That's how now a rat. And he stabs to the curtain.

00:18:39:20 - 00:18:40:18
Rey
Whoa.

00:18:40:18 - 00:18:43:02
Mikey
Kills Polonius. You see the blood come out of the curtain.

00:18:43:02 - 00:18:44:12
Rey
Holy Polonius.

00:18:44:12 - 00:18:46:14
Mikey
He caught Polonius looking, hiding.

00:18:46:14 - 00:18:59:10
Rey
Curtain boy, this is the thing, right? When you're behind the curtain all the time, nobody knows you're fucking there and you don't know how people are going to react, especially in a place where people are carrying around daggers. Yeah. Come on, now.

00:18:59:10 - 00:19:00:23
Mikey
Yeah. Maybe they're going to test the curtains.

00:19:00:23 - 00:19:09:20
Rey
Yeah. See, in New Jersey, you can't really be carrying around a dagger like that. We're in Pennsylvania right now, correct? You could just have a dagger.

00:19:09:20 - 00:19:11:02
Mikey
Yeah, the dagger laws are much.

00:19:11:02 - 00:19:13:17
Rey
The dagger laws are fine when.

00:19:13:21 - 00:19:14:23
Mikey
You cross that river.

00:19:15:03 - 00:19:35:18
Rey
Yeah, you cross the river and you can have that dagger on you. I think I saw somebody with with the gun fill in their gas and they weren't they were not a police officer.

00:19:35:18 - 00:19:37:18
Mikey
So he just stabbed through the curtain.

00:19:37:21 - 00:19:40:07
Rey
Oh, shit. I forgot. This is where this is.

00:19:40:12 - 00:19:42:08
Mikey
We were at a really exciting moment.

00:19:42:08 - 00:19:50:00
Rey
Before he fucking goes. Totally went off into. Oh, yeah. We don't know anything about I don't know shit about guns. Oh my God.

00:19:50:07 - 00:19:52:05
Mikey
I'm going to have to fact check everything I say.

00:19:52:06 - 00:19:52:18
Rey
Cut all.

00:19:53:00 - 00:19:53:02
Mikey
The.

00:19:53:02 - 00:19:55:04
Rey
No, cut all that.

00:19:55:04 - 00:19:57:00
Mikey
I could just be saying wrong things.

00:19:57:03 - 00:20:02:21
Rey
I'm I'm pretty I think I'm pretty solid on the dagger laws, though, man. Yeah, dagger laws. Dagger laws.

00:20:03:10 - 00:20:24:23
Mikey
So he says dead for a ducat dead. Polonius fucking is dead. Polonius behind the curtain says, Oh, I am slain. He falls and dies. He literally says that the Queen line 25 says, Oh me, what has thou done? And Hamlet says, Nay, I know not. Is it the king? Right. He hopes he gets him now because this is this would be something that would send him to hell.

00:20:24:23 - 00:20:27:22
Mikey
Curtain hiding is at least the first sphere of hell.

00:20:28:06 - 00:20:28:12
Rey
Right?

00:20:28:19 - 00:20:49:04
Mikey
So he hopes he's got the king. The queen says, Oh, what a rash. And bloody deed is this? And he says, A bloody deed, almost this bad good mother is kill a king and marry with his brother. And she says on line 30 as Kill a king. And he says, I, lady, it was my word. I have a question here.

00:20:49:05 - 00:20:49:11
Rey
Hmm.

00:20:50:09 - 00:20:59:18
Mikey
He tells her, it's that his deed is as bad as killing the king in marrying his brother. She reacts with surprise as kill a king. I think there's a question here.

00:21:00:15 - 00:21:01:06
Rey
Does she know?

00:21:01:06 - 00:21:23:05
Mikey
Does she know what Claudius did? I don't think so. There's no definitive word one way or another. But she seems surprised here. And the play goes out of its way to show us Claudius being guilty. Right? Right. If she kills her own husband, you know, I guess we would have seen her being more guilty or something by the play's own terms.

00:21:23:08 - 00:21:46:14
Mikey
Right. You know, so we have no indicator that she feels guilty for this or she has any knowledge. So this may be where Hamlet reveals to her that his father was murdered. All right. But then he sees Polonius on the ground and says, Line 31, thou wretched rash intruding fool, farewell. I took the for that better. So, you know, I actually.

00:21:46:20 - 00:22:11:15
Mikey
Goodbye, Polonius, right? I took the four. They better like I thought it was the king, but fuck you. So he kind of. He doesn't even care about this. He turns away from Polonius body on line 35. He's still on his mom. He says, Peace, sit you down and let me wring your heart. Four So I shall if it be made of penetrable stuff, if damnit custom had have not braised it so that it'd be proof and bulwark against sense.

00:22:11:15 - 00:22:39:14
Mikey
I'm going to wring your heart. I'm going to talk to you here. I'm if you're not impenetrable, if any sense can get through to you, the queen says on line 40. What have I done? That thou dearest? Wag thy tongue in noise so rude against me, Hamlet says. Such an act that blurs the grace and blush of modesty calls virtue hypocrite takes off the rose from the fair forehead of an innocent love and sets a blister there, makes marriage vows as false as Dyson's oath.

00:22:40:01 - 00:23:10:18
Mikey
So your act makes marriage vows as false as Dyson oaths means. Like to make wedding vows as false as the shit people shout while they're playing dice like wedding vows or that shitty and that's he's sort of giving the the the extent of her act a measure of how bad the thing she did is. And she says online he goes on she says online 53 I me what act that were so loud and thunders in the index I said, What are you talking about?

00:23:12:06 - 00:23:19:07
Mikey
And then Hamlet takes out two pictures. He shows a picture of his dad and a picture of Claudius.

00:23:19:07 - 00:23:20:10
Rey
Where's he got the pictures?

00:23:20:11 - 00:23:33:04
Mikey
This is like a Bugs Bunny moment. Like, he's just. He's just got this shit. He he was planning between scenes or something. He must still be he. But he does have a picture of Claudius and a picture. I know this is weird. We just get.

00:23:33:04 - 00:23:33:14
Rey
A roll.

00:23:33:14 - 00:23:34:02
Mikey
With this.

00:23:34:06 - 00:23:44:14
Rey
Little. Wait a minute, man. So back in the day, like the pictures were, they're like big old. Like, somebody had to sit there with a with a with a, with a paintbrush.

00:23:44:14 - 00:23:46:17
Mikey
Yeah, I guess we have two small paintings.

00:23:47:03 - 00:23:49:02
Rey
So you think he has some portraits?

00:23:49:02 - 00:23:51:14
Mikey
Yeah, he's good. Good question.

00:23:51:23 - 00:23:53:12
Rey
That's some portraits commissioned.

00:23:53:13 - 00:24:35:22
Mikey
The stage direction says showing her two likenesses so he yeah he's he's got to have he's got like a little oil painting of each one of them. And he says line 54, look here upon this picture and on this, the counterfeit presentment of two brothers and he's pointing at his dad. He says, See what a grace was. Seated on this brow, Hyperion curls the front of Joe of himself, and I like Maurice to threaten and command a station like the Herald Mercury new lighted on a heaven kissing hill, a combination in a form indeed, where every God did seem to set his seal to give the world assurance of a man that's his dad.

00:24:36:13 - 00:24:39:12
Mikey
He has the qualities of every Greek god.

00:24:39:21 - 00:24:40:05
Rey
Right?

00:24:40:12 - 00:25:00:17
Mikey
He says, this was your husband. He holds out the one that has a picture of Claudius. Now we're looking at Claudius, his face, and he says, Look, you this is line 64. Look you. Now, what follows here is your husband like a mildewed ear, blasting his wholesome brother.

00:25:00:21 - 00:25:09:06
Rey
Yeah, this motherfucker like a mildewed ass ear. Yeah, yeah, that's fucking ridiculous, he says to his mom.

00:25:09:13 - 00:25:31:03
Mikey
Have you eyes? Could you, on this fair mountain leave to feed and batten on this more? Have you eyes like how do you go from this to this? He's saying. And he he kind of he kind of insults her age here. He says, you cannot call it love for at your age. The heyday in the blood is tame.

00:25:31:05 - 00:25:31:13
Rey
Oh.

00:25:31:21 - 00:25:43:06
Mikey
Yeah. You're a little old for puppy love, right? It's humble and waits upon the judgment. And what judgment would step from this to this? Right. Who would go from this guy to this guy?

00:25:43:18 - 00:25:46:16
Rey
Yeah. You're going from a from Michael. The Fredo.

00:25:46:22 - 00:25:47:21
Mikey
Yeah. Yeah.

00:25:48:15 - 00:25:53:19
Rey
That's a Godfather reference. He should she go back and watch The Godfather?

00:25:53:19 - 00:25:58:09
Mikey
Yeah. We're going to pause here for you to watch The Godfather one and two or three.

00:25:59:23 - 00:26:06:12
Rey
Well, we'll get into that in a second, but Godfather one and two that so yeah. If you pause now.

00:26:06:19 - 00:26:07:16
Mikey
Right, we'll wait.

00:26:07:19 - 00:26:09:05
Rey
What's that going to be about?

00:26:09:19 - 00:26:11:12
Mikey
You're in you're in 6 hours.

00:26:11:12 - 00:26:50:06
Rey
I think I got five or 6 hours of your time. Mm hmm. But keep us in mind when you're done. But if you do decide to watch three, it's made in the nineties and it's different. And I can't remember the guy. There's so much time you got to get used to the lighting if you got young eyes. Mm hmm.

00:26:50:11 - 00:27:04:17
Rey
Huh? Yeah. That's all I got to say. You got to get used to the light, but get used to the lighting. It's a wonderful, wonderful two movies and then come right back to us and we'll get into this Shakespeare's.

00:27:05:11 - 00:27:23:20
Mikey
Kick it back. Back into the Shakespeare's. So he fucking turns her here the like what he does. He keeps going at it. I'm kind of I'm going to not reading it all, so I'm skipping a bunch. But like around 89, the queen comes on and she goes, Oh, Hamlet, speak no more. Thou turns my very eyes into my soul.

00:27:24:03 - 00:27:45:04
Mikey
And there I see such black and grievous spots as will leave their tanked. So he has convinced her with the portraits did it right the portraits did it and but he keeps going, he's saying some gross shit here. He says nay. But to live in the ranks, sweat of an inseam in bed, an inseam in bed is a bed covered in animal fat.

00:27:45:13 - 00:28:00:07
Mikey
Like that's where you live, right? Stewed in corruption, hunting and making love over the nasty sty. Nice thing to say to your mom on 95, she says, Oh, speak to me no more. These words like daggers into my ears. No more sweet Hamlet.

00:28:00:11 - 00:28:00:19
Rey
Yeah.

00:28:01:10 - 00:28:16:10
Mikey
He keeps going a murderer and a villain. A slave that is not 20th part. The kith of your precedent, Lord, rights are not the 20th part of your last husband. And now the Queen is saying no more. And now here we go. The fucking ghost comes in. Ho, ghost walks in.

00:28:16:15 - 00:28:17:08
Rey
Are you seeing.

00:28:17:08 - 00:28:17:21
Mikey
This scene.

00:28:18:07 - 00:28:19:08
Rey
Then? Both of that.

00:28:19:08 - 00:28:20:14
Mikey
So they're arguing.

00:28:20:19 - 00:28:22:11
Rey
Right for ghost witnesses.

00:28:23:22 - 00:28:27:10
Mikey
Good question. Well, the ghost walks in if.

00:28:27:10 - 00:28:30:10
Rey
She don't see the ghosts. All right, go for it.

00:28:30:10 - 00:28:51:05
Mikey
Go for it. Okay. And he kind of he's still talking to his mom and he stops and says, save me and hover over me with your wings, you heavenly guards. What would your gracious figure he's saying to the King Ghost? So he starts talking to the ghost and the Queen says, Alas, he's mad. It's line 106.

00:28:51:20 - 00:28:52:15
Rey
Oh, shit.

00:28:53:20 - 00:29:01:01
Mikey
And the ghost starts talking to Hamlet. Hamlet, ask him what he's there for. And the ghost is a little pissed. The ghost says.

00:29:01:22 - 00:29:04:11
Rey
Weren't you supposed to fucking kill this guy for me? Yeah.

00:29:04:11 - 00:29:05:08
Mikey
You got it.

00:29:05:21 - 00:29:11:14
Rey
You got it. Line 111. Christ, how many days? What's the time period here?

00:29:12:04 - 00:29:14:20
Mikey
I don't know what the time period is, but it's been a it's been a while.

00:29:14:20 - 00:29:20:08
Rey
But for the ghost, he's like, I told you a while ago. Yeah. To take this month. Yeah.

00:29:20:21 - 00:29:23:11
Mikey
I'm in purgatory. I am on fire.

00:29:23:11 - 00:29:25:10
Rey
And it's not just the ghost. It's like, son.

00:29:25:22 - 00:29:27:13
Mikey
Yeah, it's the ghost of your dad.

00:29:27:13 - 00:29:33:10
Rey
I'm coming back to tell you that this guy did this take this guy out a couple seasons ago.

00:29:34:19 - 00:29:49:08
Mikey
The ghost said the ghost like, very solemnly intones on line 111, he says, Do not forget this visitation is but to wet they almost blunted purpose. So we're trying to sharpen your sword up here to wet a whetstone would be how you sharpen a sword.

00:29:49:08 - 00:29:50:22
Rey
Oh, yeah, you're blunted purpose.

00:29:50:22 - 00:29:54:21
Mikey
So your purpose is very blunt. You're not really accomplishing things.

00:29:54:21 - 00:29:56:12
Rey
Well, let's sharpen this up a little. Yeah.

00:29:57:02 - 00:30:06:07
Mikey
And he. The King comes in. If you remember back when we first saw The King's Ghost, he didn't want Hamlet to take it out on his mom. He said to leave your mom to heaven.

00:30:06:10 - 00:30:10:09
Rey
Yeah. Just take out this fool over here. Take Alfredo.

00:30:10:09 - 00:30:11:05
Mikey
That's your job.

00:30:11:05 - 00:30:12:11
Rey
That's your job, kid.

00:30:13:00 - 00:30:19:03
Mikey
The ghost says online. 113 But look, amazement on my mother sits. Oh, step between her and her fighting soul.

00:30:19:07 - 00:30:21:13
Rey
Yeah, now you're fucking my wife.

00:30:21:13 - 00:30:30:06
Mikey
Yeah. Conceit in weakest body's strongest works Speak to her Hamlet. He wants him to calm your mom down. Don't take it out on your mom.

00:30:30:18 - 00:30:31:01
Rey
Yeah.

00:30:31:13 - 00:30:50:15
Mikey
And so Hamlet tries to do it. He turns to his mom, line 117, and says, How is it with you, lady? And the queen says, Alice, how is it with you that you do bend your iron vacancy and with the incorporeal hairdo, do discourse? So you're bending your iron vacancy, you're looking at nothing, you know?

00:30:50:19 - 00:30:51:21
Rey
Okay, so you're looking.

00:30:51:21 - 00:30:52:19
Mikey
At emptiness.

00:30:52:19 - 00:30:54:03
Rey
Right? She's not seeing.

00:30:54:05 - 00:30:55:16
Mikey
She's not seeing the ghost.

00:30:56:01 - 00:31:02:23
Rey
He doesn't want her to see this. Yeah, but he let homeboy he let a couple other people see the ghost.

00:31:03:14 - 00:31:06:12
Mikey
She doesn't see the ghost. I think there's a couple of ways you can interpret that.

00:31:07:03 - 00:31:07:13
Rey
What he got.

00:31:07:20 - 00:31:13:14
Mikey
There's the way you kind of interpreted it, right? That maybe it's the ghost doing. Maybe the ghost doesn't want to be seen.

00:31:14:19 - 00:31:15:10
Rey
We also.

00:31:15:10 - 00:31:19:23
Mikey
Though, Hamlet has been going downhill. Is he hallucinating?

00:31:21:03 - 00:31:23:12
Rey
Hmm. This is another thing.

00:31:23:12 - 00:31:31:15
Mikey
That's another question. Yeah. Was there a ghost ever in the first place? Nobody else has ever talked to the ghost except for Hamlet.

00:31:31:17 - 00:31:32:23
Rey
They seen the ghost here.

00:31:33:03 - 00:31:37:16
Mikey
Horatio definitely saw the ghost. Were those guards at the beginning? Saw the ghost?

00:31:37:16 - 00:31:42:22
Rey
Horatio's scared to go. The guard's got no reason to lie. Well, you know, I don't know. Yeah.

00:31:43:05 - 00:32:00:14
Mikey
So some people have seen the ghost. Hamlet's the only one who's spoken to the ghost. So there's a couple different ways we could sort of take this. You know, his mother asks him, We're on. Do you look? She's really driving home on line 125, like, what the fuck are you doing? What are you looking at? Hamlet says on him, on him?

00:32:01:01 - 00:32:12:05
Mikey
Look, do you how pale he glares his form and cause conjoint preaching to stones would make them capable. Like look at my dad. He could preach to stones and they would get up and do his bidding. Right.

00:32:12:14 - 00:32:30:09
Rey
And so mom's bugging out because she don't you don't see any that's you don't hear shit. Yeah, I have. I have some moments like this, Mikey, where I'm like, did you guys hear that? And I have to make sure, like, I. Did you guys hear that? Like, how do you do that?

00:32:30:20 - 00:32:32:23
Mikey
Yeah, you're worried you're having, like, an acid flashback, like.

00:32:33:00 - 00:32:45:08
Rey
Yeah, I'm worried. I happen. Yeah, I'm worried. I'm worried that, like, somehow I'm experiencing a different reality than the people around me, and I have to check in. Yeah.

00:32:45:14 - 00:33:06:09
Mikey
Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's what's happening here. Hamlet tries to check in with his mother. He looks at her and he says, Do you see nothing there? That's I'm 133. Right. So he's trying to check in and his mother says nothing at all yet all that is. I see. And he says, Nor did you nothing here. And she says, No, nothing but ourselves.

00:33:07:14 - 00:33:26:16
Mikey
And he says, Why? Look you there. Look how it steals away my father in his habit as he lived. Look where he goes even now, out at the portal, and the ghost kind of floats out the door and he's like, he's like, look, do you don't see this ghost and the queen? I love this line, too. She says this is the very coinage of your brain, right?

00:33:27:00 - 00:33:52:17
Mikey
Your brain is this is a hallucination. The I love that phrase. It's the coinage of your brain. Your brain is just a mint pumping out money. And that's what we're looking at here. They're going to kind of try to close their thing up. Now, you know, Hamlet gives her some parting advice. He says on line 152, confess yourself to heaven, repent what's past, avoid what is to come, and do not spread the compost on the weeds to make them rancor.

00:33:52:17 - 00:34:13:05
Mikey
So don't do anything else that's bad, right? Repent for what you did in the past. Confess to heaven. That's where I'm leaving you, all right? Because that's what his dad wanted, right? And the ghost came and kind of interceded and was like, Leave your mom alone. The queen seems to have been turned, she says on line 159. Oh, Hamlet, thou hast left my heart in Twain, right?

00:34:13:09 - 00:34:26:13
Mikey
You've cut my heart in two. And Hamlet has this this little speech here that I love. He says, Oh, throw away the worst part of it and live the purer with the other half. So if I cut your heart in to take the bad half and fucking throw it out.

00:34:26:13 - 00:34:29:07
Rey
Well.

00:34:29:07 - 00:34:40:08
Mikey
Good night, but go not to my uncle's bed. Assume a virtue if you have it not, which is the Shakespearean version of fake it till you make it. Well, assume a virtue if you have it.

00:34:40:08 - 00:34:43:05
Rey
Not assume a virtue, motherfuckers.

00:34:43:18 - 00:35:08:07
Mikey
He says that monster custom who all sense doth eat of habits, devil is angel yet in this so custom he's talking about custom having a habit. He says that to the use of actions fair and good. He meaning custom likewise gives a frock or livery that aptly is put on refrain tonight, and that's to lend a kind of easiness to the next abstinence.

00:35:08:07 - 00:35:25:04
Mikey
So every this is kind of a dense speech. All right. What he's saying is every night you don't sleep with my uncle, you're going to make it a little easier to not sleep with them the next night. It's like going to AA, right? Like you're just you're getting you're going to build up chips here every night. You don't sleep with this motherfucker.

00:35:25:07 - 00:35:33:09
Mikey
You're building your chips. Yeah. And it's going to make it easier. It's. It's going to get better. Just don't sleep with them tonight. One day at a time. One day. Trust your higher power. Call your.

00:35:33:09 - 00:35:40:20
Rey
Sponsor. Yeah. Tomorrow he do the same thing, and eventually then they're going to have a whole week at the end of the week. That's a whole week.

00:35:40:21 - 00:35:49:19
Mikey
You won't even think about them. You'll be over the withdrawal of that animal fat bed B and C mid bed that they're fucking in.

00:35:51:02 - 00:35:51:23
Rey
What she's saying.

00:35:52:17 - 00:35:54:21
Mikey
He hamlet kind of keeps going here for a little.

00:35:54:21 - 00:35:57:18
Rey
Bit. He the ghost is still in the room.

00:35:57:18 - 00:36:02:18
Mikey
No. Remember the ghost left. He was pointing at the ghost saying look, he's leaving. He but nobody saw him.

00:36:02:18 - 00:36:06:01
Rey
But before he left he said, take care of your mom.

00:36:06:04 - 00:36:26:03
Mikey
Yeah, okay. He did say your mother is looking on in amazement. Talk to her. Right. The ghost has told us before the ghosts mission is not to fuck with Gertrude. The Queen. The ghost just wants his brother. That's Hamlet's mission, Hamlet pointed out. Remember, Polonius is still dead on the floor. Oh, yeah.

00:36:26:03 - 00:36:32:18
Rey
Louise's body is lying on the floor. God, that Polonius is just on the floor. So the Queen didn't mention that.

00:36:34:00 - 00:36:37:19
Mikey
Now she was like, Oh, my God, you know, like they they screamed about it.

00:36:37:19 - 00:36:43:16
Rey
That happened. Ghost, ghost. Give a shit about Polonius.

00:36:43:16 - 00:36:49:21
Mikey
Yeah, it goes. Don't care about Polonius. And it would be funny if Polonius is Ghost was also there, but that's not the case.

00:36:49:21 - 00:36:51:15
Rey
And if Polonius confirmed dead.

00:36:52:04 - 00:36:53:04
Mikey
Polonius is dead.

00:36:53:07 - 00:36:54:08
Rey
Confirmed. He's dead.

00:36:54:19 - 00:37:12:23
Mikey
He talks about it. He points at the body and online. 175 he says, For this same Lord, I do repent, but heaven have pleased it. So to punish me with this and this with me that I must be their scourge in. Minister, I'm sorry about this, but you know it was fate. I was an agent of the gods here.

00:37:12:23 - 00:37:13:23
Mikey
I did what had to get done.

00:37:13:23 - 00:37:15:12
Rey
I was meant to stab the curtain. Yeah.

00:37:16:08 - 00:37:29:00
Mikey
He says I will bestow him and will answer. Well, I will bestow him. So Hamlet is now kind of taking up Polonius body. He's bringing the mother fucker with him and let's leave in with Polonius.

00:37:29:01 - 00:37:35:10
Rey
Oh, that's great. Yeah, it's. He's, he's just. He's putting him on his shoulders, dragging them something. He's bringing them.

00:37:35:10 - 00:38:00:23
Mikey
Yeah. The queen says What shall I do? And he just reminds her again. Line 185 sorry. 184 Not this by no means that I paid you do let the bloat king tempt you again to bed pinch want it on your cheek, call you his mouse and let him for a pair of Richie kisses or paddling in your neck with his damned fingers make you travel all this matter out that I am essentially not in madness but mad in craft.

00:38:01:10 - 00:38:12:20
Mikey
So he tells his mom, Whatever you do, don't let that guy flirt you into telling him that I'm not crazy, right? Don't tell him what the fuck we're talking about. Don't sleep with him. Don't say a fucking word.

00:38:12:20 - 00:38:13:18
Rey
One day at a time.

00:38:13:23 - 00:38:15:01
Mikey
Yeah, and one day at a time.

00:38:15:01 - 00:38:16:11
Rey
One day at a time you'll get through.

00:38:17:01 - 00:38:31:22
Mikey
And the Queen seems to be on his side here on line 200. She says, Be thou assured, if words be made of breath and breath of life, I have no life to breathe what thou hast said to me. So she is going to keep his secret.

00:38:32:03 - 00:38:32:11
Rey
Hmm?

00:38:33:12 - 00:38:38:04
Mikey
And Hamlet tells her, he says, I must to England, you know that. So he knows about the England plan.

00:38:39:06 - 00:38:40:16
Rey
And she told him about England.

00:38:40:22 - 00:39:01:23
Mikey
I don't know if he just knows. All right. The Queen says alack. I had forgot too. So concluded on. And Hamlet says, on line two or five, there's letters sealed. And my two school fellows whom I will trust as I will adders fanged, they bear the mandate. So those are my two school chums. I trust them as much as I trust snakes.

00:39:02:02 - 00:39:10:18
Mikey
Those are the guys I'm going with. Now, remember, this is Rosencrantz and Guildenstern who have not been anything but honest to him, and he's like those two motherfuckers. I do not trust them.

00:39:10:18 - 00:39:11:09
Rey
Trust them.

00:39:11:20 - 00:39:23:04
Mikey
This is the end of the scene, he says to Polonius body. Or first he says to his mom, I'll lug the guts in the neighbor room. I'll take these. Gets away. Don't worry.

00:39:23:11 - 00:39:25:06
Rey
I got these guts, Mother.

00:39:25:06 - 00:39:25:21
Mikey
Good night.

00:39:26:08 - 00:39:31:11
Rey
So wait a minute. The Polonius, his exes, Dad?

00:39:31:19 - 00:39:33:20
Mikey
Yep, his exes. He just killed his ex's dad.

00:39:34:00 - 00:39:36:09
Rey
Okay, but he's. I mean.

00:39:36:09 - 00:39:37:00
Mikey
He says.

00:39:37:11 - 00:39:43:21
Rey
He's always behind the fucking correct. Right. That is confusing. If you have a knife and you're walking by a fucking curtain, always.

00:39:43:21 - 00:39:44:17
Mikey
Test the curtains.

00:39:45:03 - 00:39:50:07
Rey
Yeah, but even if you're not just testing the curtains, if you're just carrying a knife.

00:39:50:07 - 00:39:51:07
Mikey
You may lean against the.

00:39:51:07 - 00:39:56:18
Rey
Curtains. Yeah. Or or somebody jumps out behind the curtain. You're just going to stab.

00:39:57:01 - 00:40:00:18
Mikey
Yeah, you're. Yeah. Maybe you come out too fast. Yeah. Is the age of daggers.

00:40:00:18 - 00:40:02:07
Rey
This is the age of daggers. Yeah, well.

00:40:02:18 - 00:40:27:23
Mikey
He kind of he has one last insult for Polonius. On to 16, he says, indeed, this counselor is now most still most secret and most grave who was in life a most foolish, preening knave? And he says, Goodnight, Mother. And he drags Polonius body out of the room. And now this is in the folio. Traditionally the end of Act three.

00:40:28:15 - 00:40:49:16
Mikey
Okay, I'm going to go on to explain that later, but I want to just. Most times people will put this as an act break and we'll talk a little bit later, maybe at the beginning of the next episode about the act breaks and how they may be different in different editions. But this is a great ending image for Act three and is in most versions of the play, but not in the one we're reading.

00:40:49:16 - 00:41:04:19
Mikey
In the one we're reading. The Act Three goes on for quite a while. We're going to use the folio chapters and the folio acts and scene breaks. Most people put a scene break here just because there's like a dramatic kind of ending to it. Right. He's dragging Polonius body away.

00:41:04:21 - 00:41:05:05
Rey
Right.

00:41:05:14 - 00:41:10:05
Mikey
And do you know what Polonius was in, in addition to being a foolish, preening knave.

00:41:10:12 - 00:41:11:15
Rey
And fucking curtain boy.

00:41:12:02 - 00:41:16:00
Mikey
And curtain boy. Right. He was also somebody's dad.

00:41:16:17 - 00:41:18:20
Rey
Oh, yeah. There's acts.

00:41:18:20 - 00:41:28:17
Mikey
Yeah. Not only his ex, but her brother. Let's remember, we have this theme going on in the play of murdered fathers. And what sons must do.

00:41:29:01 - 00:41:29:11
Rey
Right?

00:41:29:16 - 00:41:46:22
Mikey
Right. So we know we've got and bras. He was the guy who's Hamlet. Who? Hamlet's dad killed his dad. Right. We've got Hamlet whose dad was killed by Claudius. And now we've got Ophelia and Laertes, whose dad was killed by our Hamlet.

00:41:47:01 - 00:41:48:01
Rey
Laya or TS.

00:41:48:03 - 00:42:11:15
Mikey
Hamlet has fucking killed somebodys dad. Now this is the cycle of fucking aggression and cycle, right? It's a, it's like the hamster wheel of human fucking oppression, right? Somebody killed his dad. And in the process of trying to get revenge for that, he's just fucking accidentally killed somebody else's death. That's. That's the legacy. Yeah. And we're going to see how that plays out, like.

00:42:12:15 - 00:42:58:11
Speaker 3
Yeah, oh, yeah. And what?