Were You Raised By Wolves? - podcast cover

Were You Raised By Wolves?

Nick Leighton & Leah Bonnemawww.wereyouraisedbywolves.com

Editors’ Notes: “I want to give everybody the tools to solve their own etiquette problems,” says Nick Leighton, cohost and producer of Were You Raised by Wolves?, a weekly podcast in which he and cohost Leah Bonnema look into the many sticky social situations we all face. “With each of the questions that we get, from the bonkers to the ordinary, I always try to take a step back and ask, ‘What are the bigger principles here?’ I'm always looking for topics that help us make a larger point.” In each episode, Leighton, a two-time Emmy Award-winning journalist, and Bonnema, a comic/writer, share practical advice on how to navigate a wide range of situations, from the serious to the whimsical—whether they tackle interrupting excessive talkers, establishing healthy boundaries with coworkers, or the proper way to eat Cheetos.


When they developed the show in 2019, Leighton and Bonnema had one goal in mind: to have empathy for other people. Their informal conversations tackle a mix of personal topics, viewer questions, and the occasional historical fact with warmth and positivity and humor. Leighton views this approach as an antidote to a lot of the negativity he sees in the online world, while Bonnema thinks the show’s premise is a natural fit for her situational style of comedy. “A lot of my comedy is about events where I’m like, ‘What just happened here?’ or where I embarrass myself,” she says. “And, ironically, all of these fall under the guise of etiquette, where you either feel aggrieved or you feel like you committed some sort of social crime. I just loved the topic.”


Leighton and Bonnema credit the show’s ongoing success to their work ethic. They haven’t missed a single week since they launched the show, which recently hit a new milestone: 100 episodes. But what they value the most, above all else, is how they've built a community of listeners from all backgrounds. “We have conservative grandmothers in Tallahassee to nonbinary chefs in Seattle and everybody in between,” he says. “Because who among us has not experienced an etiquette crime? This is universal.”


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Etiquette, manners, and beyond! Join Emmy® Award-winning journalist Nick Leighton and acclaimed comedian Leah Bonnema ("Late Show with Stephen Colbert"), the perfect odd couple, as they try to make the world a nicer, more polite place and offer up practical advice to help you smoothly glide through any situation. Please listen and follow! (We'd send you a hand-written thank you note if we could.)


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Episodes

Offering Unsolicited Botox, Photographing Hospital Patients, Using Pre-Divorce Stationery, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about offering unsolicited botox, photographing hospital patients, using pre-divorce stationery, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Is it rude to offer unsolicited Botox services to friends? Should we ask our hosts what time a baptis...

Nov 24, 202528 minEp. 287

Adding "Carriages" to Invitations, Making Animal Sounds at Dinner, Alleging Underbaked Brownies, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle adding "carriages" to invitations, making animal sounds at dinner, alleging underbaked brownies, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: "Carriages" on invitations A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Handling etiquette grey areas QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Wha...

Nov 17, 202543 minEp. 286

Selling Soap to Wedding Guests, Eating Wine Corks, Tipping Hospital Valets, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about selling soap to wedding guests, eating wine corks, tipping hospital valets, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Is it tacky to sell soap at your wedding? What is the etiquette for eating your wine cork? When should you give flow...

Nov 10, 202527 minEp. 285

Spotting Americans Abroad, Declining to Go Horseback Riding, Singing on Airplanes, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle spotting Americans abroad, declining to go horseback riding, singing on airplanes, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: The American Lean A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Turning around with subtlety QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Is it rude to assume someon...

Nov 03, 202543 minEp. 284

Decoding "Mountain Formal," Pacifying Picky Houseguests, Sharing Sushi Platters, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about decoding what "Mountain Formal" means on a wedding invitation, pacifying picky houseguests, sharing sushi platters, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Will wedding guests be confused by a “Mountain Formal” dress code? What shou...

Oct 27, 202527 minEp. 283

Second Helpings: Enjoying a Fika in Sweden, Staying at Bed & Breakfasts, Telling Guests What Not To Bring, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back next week with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they tackle enjoying a fika in Sweden, staying at bed and breakfasts, telling guests what not to bring to your party, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ...

Oct 20, 202538 min

Second Helpings: Picking the Correct Utensil for Mac and Cheese, Spelling Like an Australian, Lingering Past Closing Time, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back soon with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they answer listener questions about picking the correct utensil for mac and cheese, spelling like an Australian, lingering in stores after they're closed, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call...

Oct 13, 202528 min

Wiping Fingers With a Yubifuki, Dining at Michelin-Starred Restaurants, Calling Strangers “Pal,” and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle using a yubifuki in sushi restaurants, dining at Michelin-starred restaurants, calling strangers "pal," and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Yubifuki (指拭き) A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Michelin-starred Dining QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Is it OK to ca...

Oct 06, 202535 minEp. 282

Hosting Surprise Houseguests, Correcting Misspelled Signs, Sending Late Sympathy Cards, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about hosting surprise houseguests, correcting misspelled signs, sending late sympathy cards, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What’s the best way to handle being surprised by four extra houseguests? When is it appropriate to tell ...

Sep 29, 202527 minEp. 281

Discovering Bone Dishes, Enduring Waiting Rooms, Texting Wedding Thank-Yous, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle using bone dishes, enduring waiting rooms, texting wedding thank-yous, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Bone Dishes A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Waiting Rooms QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What’s the etiquette of holding elevator doors while you’re ...

Sep 22, 202547 minEp. 280

Dodging In-Law Requests, Melting Candy Bars in Diapers, Hiding Coffee Truths, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about dodging requests from mothers-in-law, playing unfortunate baby shower games, neglecting to disclose when you're serving half-caf coffee, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: How do I decline my mother-in-law’s request to throw a ...

Sep 15, 202528 minEp. 279

Using Napkins in Italy, Changing Passwords on Friends, Handing Strangers Your Phone, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle using paper napkins in Italy, changing streaming service passwords on friends, hanging strangers your phone, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Paper napkins in Italy A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Being an AirBNB host QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Do I...

Sep 08, 202542 minEp. 278

Anniversary Bonus: Holding Teacups Properly, Escaping Boring People, Clapping for Plane Landings, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! It's our six year anniversary and we found a never-before-heard episode deep in the archives just for you. In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle the right way to hold teacups, escaping boring people at parties, clapping when airplanes land, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Holding teac...

Sep 01, 202514 min

Overreacting to Messy Houseguests, Skipping a Friend’s Wedding, Wiping Down Sticky Trucks, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about overreacting to messy houseguests, skipping a close friend's wedding, wiping down sticky trucks, much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What should I do about a friend who asked me to “make adjustments” to a piece of art I made for the...

Aug 25, 202529 minEp. 277

Meeting Amy Vanderbilt, Acknowledging Mysterious Gifts, Retrieving Lost Phones, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle getting to know Amy Vanderbilt, acknowledging mysterious gifts, retrieving lost phones, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Amy Vanderbilt A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: The power dynamics of scheduling links QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: I received a gift, ...

Aug 18, 202541 minEp. 276

Rescuing Lost Chips, Taking Over Parties, Correcting People's Pronunciation, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about rescuing lost chips, taking over parties, correcting people's pronunciation, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What should you do if you break a chip in a salsa bowl? What should I do about a guest who tried to change the locati...

Aug 11, 202524 minEp. 275

Saving Seats in Singapore, Avoiding Unnecessary Meetings, Bringing Your Own Sodas, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle saving seats in Singapore, avoiding unnecessary meetings, bringing your own sodas to parties, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Chope-ing in Singapore A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Does this need to be a meeting? QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What should I ...

Aug 04, 202540 minEp. 274

Pouring Water Like Wine, Breaking Up Before Weddings, Tossing Hair on Floors, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about pour water like wine, breaking up before weddings, tossing hair on flooors, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Why was water poured like wine at a recent restaurant visit? When entering a room where others are already gathered, who...

Jul 28, 202538 minEp. 273

Inviting Thirteen Guests, Attending Pool Parties, Hogging Laundry Machines, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle inviting thirteen guests to dinner, attending pool parties, hogging laundry machines in apartment buildings, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Thirteen dinner guests A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Pool parties QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Is it rude to use bo...

Jul 21, 202539 minEp. 272

Second Helpings: Demanding Birthday Cake, Putting Time Limits on Meals, Getting Nosy at the Pharmacy, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back next week with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they answer listener questions about demanding birthday cake, putting time limits on meals, getting nosy at the pharmacy, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or vi...

Jul 14, 202528 min

Second Helpings: Showing Up Empty-Handed, Riding French Elevators, Having Nice Weekends, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back soon with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they tackle showing up at dinner parties empty-handed, riding elevators in France, being unapologetic about having nice weekends, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or...

Jul 07, 202536 min

Abandoning Dinner Guests, Running Into Former Students, Singing Happy Birthday, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about abandoning dinner guests, running into former students, singing happy birthday, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: How would you react if a friend invites you to stay for dinner, but then has you eat in the kitchen while she goes to ...

Jun 30, 202531 minEp. 271

Responding to Invitations, Enjoying Tennis, Dipping French Fries, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle responding to invitations formally, watching and playing tennis, dipping french fries, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Formally responding to invitations A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Tennis QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What's the most polite way to cut cook...

Jun 23, 202547 minEp. 270

Brushing Teeth in Airports, Taking Dessert from Buffets, Handling Unwanted Vacation Guests, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about brushing your teeth in airport bathrooms, taking desserts from buffets, handling unwanted vacation guests, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: Is it OK to brush your teeth in an airport bathroom? When dessert is offered on a buffet, is ...

Jun 16, 202532 minEp. 269

Flipping Over Cutlery, Making Friends in Kindergarten, Choosing Cup Holders, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle flipping over cutlery, making friends in kindergarten, choosing cup holders at sporting events, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Reversing cutlery on the table A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Making friends in kindergarten QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: How should ...

Jun 09, 202541 minEp. 268

Mowing Lawns Without Asking, Coordinating Invitation Responses, Dressing for Theme Weddings, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about mowing laws without asking, coordinating invitation responses, dressing for theme weddings, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What do we do about our neighbor who mowed half of our lawn without our permission? Should couples coordinate ...

Jun 02, 202540 minEp. 267

Second Helpings: Crashing White House Weddings, Stealing Flowers From Neighbors, Charging Phones In Public, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! This week, Nick and Leah are enjoying a well-deserved break, but they'll be back next week with an all-new episode. In the meantime, here's one of their favorite episodes from the archives in which they tackle crashing White House weddings, stealing flowers from neighbors, charging phones in public, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠ ask.wyrbw.com...

May 26, 202544 min

Playing Duck Duck Goose, Sending Out-of-Office Emails, Taking Free Food Samples, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle playing Duck Duck Goose in Minnesota, sending out-of-office emails, taking free food samples, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Duck Duck Grey Duck A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Out of Office Emails QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: How many and what type of items are ...

May 19, 202543 minEp. 266

Pulling Out Chairs, Sharing Photos with AI, Making Unreasonable Demands, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah answer listener questions about pulling out chairs for others, sharing photos with AI, making unreasonable demands, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠ QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: What do you do when a gentleman pulls out your chair? What is the etiquette around sharing images of people to AI? How c...

May 12, 202533 minEp. 265

Seating Dinner Party Guests, Getting Spray Tans, Using Fake Addresses, and More

Etiquette, manners, and beyond! In this episode, Nick and Leah tackle seating dinner party guests, getting spray tans, using fake return addresses, and much more. Please follow us! (We'd send you a handwritten thank-you note if we could.) Have a question for us? Call or text (267) CALL-RBW or visit ⁠ ask.wyrbw.com ⁠ EPISODE CONTENTS AMUSE-BOUCHE: Dinner party seating A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE: Getting a spray tan QUESTIONS FROM THE WILDERNESS: If a gift requires assembly, should you give it assemb...

May 05, 202538 minEp. 264
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