Surgeon admits he burned (signed) his initials onto his patient's livers • CHEETOHS popcorn flavor is coming to a theater near you! • Man arrested for trying to trade Chicken Alfredo and Sprite for sex
Women are ditching men to have sex with ghosts in stead PART 1 • Women can't stop having sex with ghosts these days PART 2 • World record biggest snowball fight canceled because of snow
Porn star announces will run for President in 2020 with rapper Coolio as her VP • Woman bites off man's testicle and only gets a $700 fine
Doctors fired after a "dead" baby wakes up on the way to the funeral • Waffle House customer cooks his own meal after finding the staff sleeping • Scientists use genetics to discover the YETI is actually 3 different bears
Man breaks his neighbor's arm for playing "Wake Me Up Before You GoGo" too loud • New study shows that 44% of men pee while sitting down
Fumes from local Viagra plant have men and dogs walking around with erections • Wisconsin is issuing hunting licenses to 1 year old babies • Dead man's "Do Not Resuscitate" tattoo confuses hospital Doctors
A morgue employee accused of building a sex doll out of dead body parts • Scientists want to BAN GLITTER citing it as a GLOBAL HAZARD • "Butt Selfie" duo fined for taking butt selfies at a sacred Temple in Thailand
Two wives hire the same hitman to kill their husbands • San Jose shutting down two churches that sell marijuana • Brown bear is armed with two guns and on the loose in Siberia
Would you eat a loaf of CRICKET BREAD?? • Budweiser wants to be the first beer on Mars even though there is no oxygen • Thieves steal 1,800 gallons of vodka and now we won't have vodka for X-mas!!
Post Thanksgiving Story 🍗🦃 • Should relatives and friends have to pay a cover charge or a "Thanksgiving Fee" • Most annoying guests you are bound to encounter at your Thanksgiving dinner
Weird AF News and Jonesy wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving • Weird AF Thanksgiving Traditions (Part 1) • Weird AF Thanksgiving Traditions (Part 2)
China once threatened England with constipation **** Tues. Nov. 21st • Weird Mass Laws: Duels to the death are okay as long as the Governor is present • PRANK: Jonesy calls the Governor of Mass to ask him to be present for a duel • What do FLAT EARTH THEORISTS believe in? (a summary)
The "loneliest whale" has no friends and needs our help *** Monday, Nov. 20th • Televangelist Jim Bakker threatens eternal damnation lest you buy pancake mix • Jonesy prank calls Jim Bakker's pancake mix company • Doctors remove a giant eel from inside a drunk man's butt
PENIS themed stories for Saturday, Nov. 18th. *** Also a THANK YOU! • Navy pilot draws a penis in the sky - Navy ADMITS it and apologizes! • Police wanna know who is leaving large carved penises around a Swedish town
Cute squirrels also eat birds and snakes??? **** Fri. Nov. 17th • Flat Earth Conference 2017 - a place for the delusional to gather each year! • Gene Simmons from Kiss banned for life from Fox News after his lewd behavior • Man shoots himself in church while advocating for the right for guns in church
Average child witnesses 8,000 murders on television 😲 *** Thur. Nov. 16 • Bakery apologizes for swapping Jesus for a sausage roll in nativity scene • Model sells her virginity online for $3million
Japan earthquake of 2011 so strong it sped up Earth's rotation *** Tues. Nov. 14 • Police cut interrogation short after suspect refused to stop FARTING • Peanuts recalled because package doesn't say, "Contains Nuts" • Indian holds the world record for longest moustache AND beard
Hep • Your News is Weird AF LOL • For every human there are 1.6 million ants 🐜🐜 Monday Nov. 13🐜🐜🐜 • Naked people rampage through a town, barking and showering themselves in soda • Australian doctor joined ISIS but then complained they were cruel to animals
First Sesame Street aired today in 1969 *** Fri. Nov. 9th 🤡🤠😻🤖 • BBC morning news broadcast interrupted by porn noises 🤣 • Widow meets the man who received husband's face in a transplant
Firing bullets straight up in the air.... a NO-NO. *** Thur. Nov. 9th • Japan has invented a NOISE CANCELING Ramen fork because slurping is annoying. • National Nachos Day and, sadly, the "Father of Nachos" has passed away. • Robber gives customers free donuts after stealing their personal items.
Dragonflies can fly 40mph WHAT?? **** Monday, Nov. 6th • NAKED restaurant opens up in Paris • Couple arrested for having sex at their grandma's funeral • Man steams himself to death inside a wok
Man jailed for sending strippers to his neighbors house for over 3 years • Former Blink 182 Member Claims US Gov. is Hiding a Dead Alien 👽👽👽👽
"Drunk Yoga" is the new rage! • This $200 bottle of beer is illegal in 12 states and I want it! • Orange Chicken is now 30 years old
Kermit the Frog was originally sposed to be a LIZARD *** Tues. Nov. 2nd • Frankenstein baby born on Halloween in Florida • APP lets you win prizes for taking SELFIES with COWS (in India) • "Exploding Head Syndrome" scares the crap outta me
"Maschalaglia" is the attraction to ARMPITS *** Tues. Nov. 1st • The White House is the most haunted home in the US some say • Woman sweats BLOOD and leaves doctors baffled!! • Sex doll brothel now has a secret location because of police raids • 👻👻 n50 Berkeley Square is the most haunted house in London..😱
Bar in Israel offers "Bloody Hour" for ladies on their period *** Monday Oct. 30 • Tiny kitten needs a new butthole and a Gofundme has helped make it possible • Coffee for dogs called ROOFEE
Halloween Costume Pics Please? • Woman inhales 360 cans of laughing gas and may never walk again • Outrage at the annual Meatball Contest! Woman enters VEGAN BALLS!!
The word "America" first appeared on a German map in 1507 *** Friday, OCT. 27th • Man enjoys life after losing his THREE FOOT LONG PENIS • Man selling ranch after killing aliens that tried to abduc...
Einstein said only "Human stupidity is infinite" and i agree! *** Wed. Oct. 25th • Man fined for singing, "EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!!!!" • Stores have to lock up the SPAM in order to prevent major myst...
"Rap Battles" have been going on since the 5th Century *** Tues. Oct. 24th • Police can't handle all the CLOWN SIGHTINGS in this small Ohio town • Jonesy calls the Ironton Police about the CLOWNS**...
