What Happens After Survival? Exploring Post-Traumatic Growth

As I mentioned , my name is Amy and I am your host , and this podcast has been going since April of 2020 , and it is our motivation and our direction , and our desire is to help those of you out there living with the effects of trauma and or severe mental illness . We are here to help On this podcast .

We believe that the three C's are all that gets us to where we want to be , and we are going to talk about that in today's episode . Those three C's meaning community , church and counseling , and so today we're going to talk about something that we've not discussed before on the podcast , and so settle in and let's drop into this episode about post-traumatic

growth . Okay , guys , as it turns out , there is an actual scientific term for that which I have experienced as a survivor of a lot of trauma and as a person who was diagnosed with complex post-traumatic stress disorder in 2007 .

Today , I am here as an advocate and as a professional who works with patients who have been traumatized every day , and just a few short months away from being Dr Amy Watson . If you have listened at all to this podcast , you know that that should not be able to happen . Why do I say that ?

Well , just the cliff notes for those of you who have not listened to this podcast , and you can find many episodes here where I talk about parts of , in some cases , all of my story . And what does this mean ? Why is it a big deal that I am able to do these things that I only dreamt of doing so long ago ?

Well , it is definitely because of Jesus , it is because of his people , but it is also because of hard work that I have done , and I am not uncomfortable telling you that , because it has been just that . It has been hard work . And so , to that end , what happens when you put in the hard work is post-traumatic growth .

This is a powerful , evidence-based concept that offers hope to people like you who have walked through the fire and wondered , really wondered , if anything beautiful could possibly grow from the ashes . And , as I say that , I think about that .

Those things that I have been through , ranging from childhood abuse in any form that you can think of all the way through to domestic violence . Lots of loss , lots of grief , lots of anxiety , lots of depression , a suicide attempt , a hospitalization in 2008 .

That was five days after I tried to take my life , and so I look at it so many years later and I am grateful to the star of the story , who is Jesus , who is the ultimate catalyst for post-traumatic growth .

I am grateful for his people and I am grateful here on the other side of this microphone , just a little bit different from those of you who have not had the opportunity to work through those things that try to destroy you . But beauty can come from ashes and if you're under the sound of my voice , you're hearing that right now . You're hearing that beauty .

You're hearing those things that should not be able to happen . So , whether you're a trauma survivor , whether you're a clinician like myself , I am both of those . Whether you're a family member of somebody who has been through trauma or someone who is just curious about what's possible when we , when we , wrestle with trauma , what , what do we ?

What happens when we successfully get on the other side of working through our trauma ? If you are wondering any of those things , this episode is for you , and I do want to say , though , something very clearly is that post-traumatic growth is not a silver lining . That happens passively as a result .

It is not some toxic positive thing that we say and , more importantly , if you're experiencing post traumatic growth , it does not negate your pain .

But post traumatic growth is real , it is studied , and it is something that many survivors can , and often do , experience if they are committed to the process of working through their trauma , not avoiding their trauma , understanding that so many times that the only way through is

through . So let's first talk about what is post-traumatic growth . The term post-traumatic growth was first coined in the 1990s by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun . They noticed that many trauma survivors didn't just recover , but they actually became stronger , wiser , and here's where I really identify with post-traumatic growth .

They became more purpose driven than they were before their trauma . Post-traumatic growth is defined as a positive psychological change that occurs . Now this is really important to listen to what I'm going to say here . It is a positive psychological change that occurs as a result of the struggle with highly challenging life circumstances .

Now notice it didn't say that it's a positive psychological change that is the result of highly challenging circumstances . It's not a result of the trauma itself , but it is a result of the struggle with that trauma . Through it , only way through it is through it .

It's what happens when the hard work of therapy , living in community , processing , healing , going before the Lord , it is what happens when that hard work begins and continues . It doesn't happen to everyone and it doesn't mean that the trauma is worth it , as we air quote when we say that . But it does mean that our God made the human spirit remarkably resilient .

And when you think of that in history , when you think of survivors of the Holocaust , when you think of survivors of war , when you think of survivors of pestilence and famine , sometimes you see incredibly strong people come out of those hard times because of their struggle with the hard time , because of their refusal .

If you ask me one thing besides God himself , the star of the story changing the narrative for you , if you were to ask me what is the one secret ingredient ? It would be not to avoid . And that's really difficult . Right , because PTSD , by definition , one of the things that has to occur if we're diagnosed in PTSD is the avoidance of the trauma .

Right and so . But we understand that post-traumatic growth comes from not avoiding the trauma , not avoiding the struggle with the trauma , and so that's really important . So you've got to be in a position where you can face the things that happen to you and you can wrestle with that struggle of that trauma .

Both Tadishi and Calhoun identified five areas where post-traumatic growth tends

to show up . So let's walk through them , and , as I do , I want you to think about whether this is true of you . The first is personal strength . Survivors often report discovering a new inner strength . They say things like I never knew that I could survive that , but I did .

And I will tell you , guys , that there have been so many times in my life not in the past decade or even the past 15 years , but there have been so many times in my life when I was shocked that I woke up in the morning because it was that bad , the trauma was that bad , the struggle with the trauma was that bad , or my avoidance of all of it included

some sort of drug induced situation where I'm literally surprised that I woke up . And so I look at those times now . Some of that trauma happened when I was seven years old , so 40 years ago . When I think about all the things that I've been through , I will absolutely say I never knew that I could survive that , but I did .

Now , as a Christian , I will absolutely tell you that that survival came because of the star of the story , jesus , who showed up and sent his people and gave me the desire to fight , but , at the same time , I had to decide to fight and that happened .

And I tell this story many , many times , and I don't often go a week at work where I don't think about this story that I'm getting ready to tell you .

When I was hospitalized in 2008 , one of my friends came to me and one of the things that she said to me when she left she gave me a hug and I said thank you for coming and she said to me you are worth fighting for and that I look back on and I say it to patients at least once a week now at the hospital you are worth fighting for and so , if

you're under the sound of my voice , remember that you are worth fighting for yourself . Right , I can fight for you , people can fight for you , but you have to fight for yourself . It is a worthy fight because you will discover the resilience , the resistance that God placed in you to survive the atrocities that this life sometimes can bring to us .

So personal strength , closer relationships . Now , it is true that our trauma can highlight bad relationships and ones that we should walk away from , but it also can clarify . This is so huge , this is so huge .

It can also clarify who truly shows up for you and that I can tell you from personal experience , as I look back over the past 15 years and the people that have steadily been there with me . Whether it's the unsolicited text message , an invitation to lunch , the hug , whatever it is , we know who showed up for us and we know who did not .

And those people who showed up for us , you are connected to us for the rest of your life because that's the kind of loyalty that this brings . This is post traumatic growth . It can deepen , deepen , deepen , meaningful relationships . It sometimes leads to deeper connections with others , and especially those who understand suffering .

So we get personal strength that we didn't know we had . We get closer relationships because we realize who showed up for us and who did not . We understand that there are new possibilities . Man , this is huge for me .

I never in a million years thought that I could be doing what I'm doing right now , which is working in a hospital , which was always my dream , which is being a doctor , even though I'm not going to be a medical doctor . I am oh so close to that . Healing , just healing .

I've got a private practice in victory , trauma counseling just the things that are available to me now that weren't available when I started all of this hard work . It's absolutely mind blowing to me and it reminds me of that , that verse Ephesians 320 , where the Bible says that he is able to do , exceedingly and abundantly all that we could ask or think .

And when I look back on what I thought that I would be doing , I didn't even think I'd be alive at 53 years old guys . But to know that I next May will walk across the stage at Liberty University and be hooded Dr Amy Watson , is mind blowing to me and , by definition , post traumatic growth . Oh , I am so grateful to the Lord .

I am so grateful to Jesus , who is the star of the story . I am grateful to those people who showed up and continue to show up for me . I continue . I am so grateful for the people that pray for me . I am grateful for the people who walk this road with me , the people that I can be myself with .

I am so grateful , and I never thought that those relationships would be possible . I never thought that this vocation could be possible , never even really considered a doctorate degree .

But here we are post traumatic growth , and so not only do we get personal strength that we didn't know we had , not only are the relationships that matter brought closer , but we understand that the sky is the limit for us .

They pursue new careers that would be me creative outlets we started this podcast five years ago advocacy roles an entirely new path that they would have never considered before . Oh , the possibilities for those who want to be on the other side of all the bad right . These two scientists , these two doctors also realized that there was an appreciation for life .

After trauma . They found that small joys became more precious . Survivors often described noticing beauty in the ordinary things that they didn't before , and that is so true . A sunrise , a sunset , a body of water .

Yesterday I was late for church and so I ended up just grabbing my hammock and going to the park and throwing my hammock up between these two massive oak trees , looking out on the Gulf .

I live in the Tampa Bay area and just the appreciation for the sun glistening off of the water , the warmth of the sun , the cool of the breeze , it was just like unbelievable . And for somebody who did not want to be alive to the tune of taking handfuls of pills , an appreciation for life is definitely part of my story .

These doctors also in addition to personal strength and closer relationships and new possibilities , appreciation for life . They saw that people with post-traumatic growth it shook their belief system . People with post-traumatic growth . It shook their belief system but then it led to a deeper or redefined spirituality , faith or worldview .

And I think about what my struggle with trauma did for my faith .

I will never forget when I , early on , right after I first got out of my domestic violence marriage and I was standing by a closet that was filled with t-shirts from vacations that we had gone together and the pain just overtook me and I slid down the wall and I just sat there for hours and did battle with the Lord and I remembered liking it in my mind to

the wrestling match that Jacob had with the angel and Jacob said I will not let go until you bless me . And that's what it was like for me that night , I went from wondering whether God still existed to a sweet communion with him , begging him to walk me through what seemed like was going to take me over , and it did . It deepened my faith with Jesus .

It deepened it . I am so grateful . Now again , though , guys , none of this erases the pain , but these changes that we just talked about the personal strength , the closer relationships , the new possibilities in life , the appreciation for just the little things in life and for the spiritual growth , they exist and they're part of healing .

So , for those of you out there , like me , who are my science buffs , what does the science say about this

? Is this just a feel-good theory ? Is it just something that Watson has made up ? Actually , no . There are 400 peer-reviewed studies that have investigated post-traumatic growth across populations .

This includes combat veterans , people like me , survivors of abuse , survivors with life-threatening illnesses of abuse , survivors with life-threatening illnesses , car accidents , abandon , neglect , all of it .

For example , a 2021 study published in the Frontiers of Psychology found that post-traumatic growth was significantly associated this should not surprise us with lower depression and greater life satisfaction in trauma survivors , even if the PTSD symptoms remain . And here's something important you can have post-traumatic growth and post-traumatic stress disorder at the same time .

That is true of me . I still , technically , would have all of the things , all of the DSM criteria for post-traumatic stress , but I also have all the criteria for post-traumatic growth . It reminds me that song by Avalon that truly is this intersection of where joy and sorrow meet . Ptsd and post-traumatic growth is not mutually exclusive .

You can still and I do experience nightmares , anxiety , hypervigilance , and the deeper faith , the new purpose , the gratitude , the better relationships , because , you see , the human heart is complex like that , because our God , our creator , is mind-blowingly creative when he created us and he created us with the ability to heal .

So , as I've mentioned many times , if you have listened to this podcast before , you know that I live my own story with PTSD . You know that I've had my own days when I didn't think I would make it through .

And I'm not here to wrap this story up and put a bow on it and call it good , but I have seen the goodness of God in the land of the living for me . I have seen post-traumatic growth in my own life and I will , until my last breath , tell you about it , because healing looks like this podcast , healing looks like an almost completed doctorate degree .

Healing looks like the deep personal relationships that I'm able to have . Healing looks like working on an inpatient unit as a therapist and helping people . Healing looks like full night's sleep . People Healing looks like full night's sleep . Healing looks like the ability to eat without problems . Healing looks like no hospitalizations .

Healing is for me because God has given it to me , because of the way he created me and the hard work and the people that he has put in my life , and able to do that Because , you see , post-traumatic growth doesn't mean that I wanted the trauma .

There was a time when I would tell you that I would go through all the trauma again if it just helped one person , and I don't mean that , really I don't . If I had to choose it again , I would not go through it again , but it happened it .

Just because I decide to grow from it doesn't mean that I wanted it or that I'm making it something that didn't happen . Trauma can be redeemed and has been in my life . So some of you might be asking me a question how can we cultivate post-traumatic

growth ? Well , here are a few key factors that research has shown to support it . Telling your story helps you make meaning of your experience . Yeah right , telling your stories , finding somebody that will listen . Therapy is also another way to do this Journaling , listening to podcasts , trusted conversations with your friends . Tell your story , because it matters .

Also , get yourself some social support . I've said this from the very beginning of this podcast . It is one of our C3s community social support , because safe relationships matter , whether that's friends , whether it's support groups or whether it's a trauma-informed therapist .

Post-traumatic growth thrives in connection and if you've been a part of this podcast for any amount of time , you know that another C , as I mentioned at the beginning of the podcast , is church . Guess where you can get both community and church at the same place ? Social support , because safe relationships matter .

And , just as a side note , if you're listening to this podcast because you love somebody with PTSD or because you just love people in general , please know that safe relationships matter . That same friend that told me that I was worth fighting for I met at church .

We started a friendship over normal things going to football games with your coworkers , all the things but she was safe and she invested in a relationship with me and 15 years later , I am here to tell about it and I should not be .

The third thing is , post-traumatic growth often comes from slowing down and thinking deeply about what the trauma has changed in you , and thinking deeply about what the trauma has changed in you . It's about noticing those shifts , not forcing them . It's about being curious of how the trauma has changed you . There is no judgment . It is not good , it is not bad .

It is about being curious about how the trauma has changed you . It's about noticing the shifts , not forcing them . The fourth thing , the key factor that research has shown that supports post-traumatic growth , is spirituality , or faith . Many survivors report that faith gave them the framework for the meaning making that we talked about earlier .

When you tell your story and , in fact , spiritual growth , this is not at all shocking to me . It's like a duh moment , right ?

Spiritual growth is one of the most reported forms of post traumatic growth , and here's a key point , though Whether it's begin telling your story or finding safe relationships that matter , or diving deep onto the how the trauma has changed you with great curiosity and no judgment and faith , you cannot rush them .

Growth is not a straight line , it is not linear , it is probably all over the place , it is not a checklist , and it unfolds in its time . You got this , you can do this Now . A word of caution as we close . I want to be very clear

. We can never use post-traumatic growth , pursuit of it or when someone has it . We cannot use it to minimize somebody's pain .

If somebody said to me yeah , but look at what a great person you are now or look at what you're doing now , I would want to slap them because just because I've done the hard work and I've I'm exhibiting post-traumatic growth , it does not mean that that trauma doesn't still hurt me at some point , maybe every day of my life .

We should not tell survivors everything happens for a reason or you'll come out stronger . And a note to Christians here we'd love to throw out Romans 8 , 28, . But God will work all things together for good to the glory of them that love God . Right Great verse . We don't read the one before it and we don't read the one after it .

We've got to be careful at throwing those kinds of Bible verses at trauma that is just unearthed . Is that true that God works all things together for good to those that love him and are called according to his purpose , absolutely ? But we must not weaponize verses like that . We must not tell them everything happens for a reason , does it Sure ?

But we live in a broken , broken world , and that is far too simplistic for somebody who has been through a ton of trauma . Post-traumatic growth is something that we might discover in time , but it should never , ever be rushed , it should never be pressed onto somebody . Let them get there on their own .

So I want to say to you today , though , if you're in the thick of it , if PTSD has a grip on you , you are not broken and healing is possible . And , yes , growth is possible .

Maybe not today , maybe not tomorrow , but if you want it , there is something on the other side of survival , and that something is post-traumatic growth and together with a community , with counseling , with a church , telling your story , finding safe relationships , thinking and being curious about what the trauma has done and how it has changed you , with no judgment ,

and increasing your faith , if you will blindly take some of those steps , you will be surprised what might happen for you on the other side . As always , I am just a text message away .

If you want to talk to me more about how you might be able to experience post-traumatic growth and you just want to shoot me a message , you can do that right there in your app . Send me a text message I am the only one that gets that and I will address it on the podcast . That's the only way I can answer that . Or you can send me an email .

That email is amywatsonauthor at gmailcom or Instagram . Author amywatson , I would love to help you take your first step to post-traumatic growth , and so we'll be back here in two weeks , and before we do that , you know what I'm going to say . You are seen , you are known , you are heard , you are loved and you are so .

You are known , you are heard , you are loved and you are so , so valued

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Oh Jesus , oh , I see the evidence of your goodness All over my life , all over my life , all over my life . I see your promises and fulfillment All over my life , all over my life . Yeah , when I see you when I wake up in the morning , yeah , I see your promises in fulfillment all over my life , all around us . So why should I fear ?

The evidence is here . Why should I fear ? All the evidence is here . You .