Over-Selling is a Turn Off

Each week, I'll cover strategies, ideas, tips, and tricks that will give you your dream wedding business too. Thanks so much for tuning in today. Let's dive in. Hello, everyone, and welcome to episode 14. Today, we are going to be talking about why overselling is a turnoff.

So, what's overselling? What am I even talking about? I'm talking specifically about when you are trying to sell your service to a potential bride and groom, when you're trying to book a wedding. So, overselling could look like talking more than listening, just trying to push or sell too hard because you're trying to prove your worth, trying to prove your worth the cost. It could look like you dominating the conversation, making it all about the sale instead of what the couple actually wants and needs, pushing to make a sale without any real concern or thought about what's really best for the couple.

And here's why you oversell. It's because you're scared, you don't trust that they need you, you're not really fully confident in your value, or maybe you just don't know better. And it could look something like this, or at least this is what it looked like for me when I was first learning how to book weddings, when I was first doing consults. I was somebody who totally made a huge mistake of constantly overselling. And it would be where I would show up to a consult, and I would just be thinking about what I was selling to them, what my package was.

I would try to memorize all the details of it and then know exactly how I was gonna go through each part and explain to them why they need this part and why they need this and that and why I'm totally worth the value. Basically, just spending all this time elaborating on my package, improving my worth, trying to prove my worth. Couples then sort of just take a back seat because they're just listening to you do your sales pitch while you're really not getting to know anything about them. Even if you have the best sales pitch and the best printed materials and you give them all this information, it's so hard to make the sale because you don't really get to know your couple. You don't know anything about, you know, what their fears are, what their vision is.

You don't get to know who they are, and that's super important if you want to close or book a wedding. So, let's go into a little bit more detail about what overselling could look like. It's like you have an agenda. You know what you're going to sell and you get yourself psyched up about this before you're talking to the couple. And then you feel like you've got to prove to them that what you do is worth the cost.

You got to prove your value. You don't really take time to listen to their story. You don't dig into their vision. You don't bother to get a really good feel for them at all, because all you're thinking about is showing them your packages and telling them why they should book you. So, in essence, it's not about them, it's about you.

This is how it feels to the couple, so put yourself in their shoes. I mean, sometimes it's easier just showing up and having somebody run the show, but it's also going to feel overwhelming. You're going to come off as feeling like being needy. It's going to be a little bit confusing because it's not really a two way conversation. It's all about you going over this package or packages that you're trying to sell them.

So, I mean, that's all great, but how do you fix this, right? Like what do you do instead? So this actually took me many years to figure out, and the more consults I did, and I've done hundreds and hundreds of these now, the better I got at this. And so I kind of have this term that is very different from overselling and it's connection selling. So what I want you to do, and this works so much better, is focus on building trust and understanding your couple's needs instead of selling to them.

So you want to ask them and think about, try to figure out where are they right now. What are their biggest worries and concerns? What does their vision look like? And once you've kind of got that figured out, can they realistically achieve that? How can they achieve that?

And then you want to try to help them to find the best solution for their specific situation. And, you're going to do all of this by building trust. So, how do you build trust? Well, you have to ask questions and listen. Like spend so much more time listening than talking.

You want to listen and really get a good feel for what each of the parties feel. How does the bride feel? How does the groom feel? Or if you have two brides, how does each of them feel? What is each of their worries and concerns? What does each of their visions look like? Is it uniform? Do they have the same vision or do they have different visions? Do they have different concerns? And then address each of those things.

Can they realistically achieve this vision? And, you know, how? You want to show them and offer them very unique solutions for their specific problems and you want to connect with them, like really listen and be empathetic. Imagine that this is your bestie, your best friend and they're telling you about this big, big moment in their their life. Get really connected to that and be excited for them.

You want to build a very genuine connection. You want to show them that you're not just trying to sell them. Your focus is to help them. You're in it with them. This very genuineness is so important and that's how you build trust. So why is this all important? Why do I need to build trust? Who cares, right? Well, trust equals connection. If you have that connection, then that is going to be the foundation for a long term relationship.

Trust also builds loyalty. And once you sort of start building that loyalty, this is why they're going to choose you over the other guy, the other photographer, planner, or whatever that didn't listen to them. Like they are going to be more loyal to you because you spent the time to actually get to know them. They feel a bigger, better, more genuine connection to you. Trust is also going to reduce their resistance to sales.

So, this means they'll be less likely to question your pricing or run away when you give them the package cost because now they trust you. They feel more loyal to you because you're a friend. You know, you're not just a salesperson trying to sell them a package. It's also going to improve communication and the more willing they are to communicate openly and honestly with you because they know that you are the one that is going to actually listen to them and that can actually help them. Improved communication means that you'll have an easier time helping them and ensuring that they're happy and satisfied because you know what their genuine fears and worries are.

You can address them directly. That's the best part, you can address their fears and worries and concerns directly in the consult. You can reassure them because now they trust you, they've shared what's worrying them and you can tell them why that shouldn't worry them because of what you do. Trust also builds client satisfaction because if you are over delivering now during a consult when you're talking to them for free, you're giving this them all this great information, right? Like all these very unique specific solutions for their problem.

Now, they are also gonna believe that you are the specific vendor that will also over deliver to them on their wedding day. So, what does that mean? That means when you're ready to give them your pricing, the sale is, like, so much easier because they trust you. They're like, she's giving me all this information and she's already helped me so much. Like, she's only gonna continue to do that because that's the type of person she is.

That's how they need to feel before they pay you any money. Okay. So, now let's go over some key ideas on connection selling, which is, you know, the opposite of overselling or the way that I do selling that really helps to book weddings at, like, a high percentage rate. I would say most of the people that I am able to actually get a call with or have in person consult with, I have, like, a guaranteed 80% rate of closing. I'm just that good at it and this is why, because I do this type of connection type selling.

So here's what you want to do. You want to have a general idea of where they're at before you jump on the call or video chat with them. So, just like an idea of what their budget is, what their guest count is, what vendors they're booked. It might be very specific to your type of wedding business, like what things you need to know, but you'll know, like, I need these sort of general ideas of this couple just to give me a good feel as to what they could possibly be looking for from me. And then, during the consult, you're not going to use this time to sell your package.

Instead, you're going to use this time to dig deeper into their situation. What are their worries? What are their fears? What are their concerns? What is their vision? What are their expectations? What does their dream wedding day look like? What's holding them back? Is it somebody? Is it a mother?

Or is it a budget? Like, what is the part that's making them feel like this might not be possible? What does their what are they looking for ideally and what do they need versus what do they want. So you want to spend time trying to figure out all these things and you want to listen to their answers. You want to get them talking.

You know, you want to listen to them more than you talk. You want to think of them as a bestie. How would you help your best friend? You being the expert in this field. Then you want to share your expertise.

What specific, very unique suggestions can you give them that will help them? This is where you want to show off your wedding knowledge. Even if you're a newer wedding business, you know more about weddings than they do, because you are in the wedding industry. You know stuff that can help them. What specific wedding expertise do you have that you can share with them?

What do they need to know that they don't already know right now? You wanna show them how this could work, like, how they could bring their vision to life with real life examples and very specific ideas. The more specific, the better. The more you can help them here, the better. You want to give them an idea of how you would eliminate or ease their problems.

Like, what do you do specifically that would make their wedding day easier, less stressful, more simple, more fun? What is it about your specific style that makes their specific problems disappear? Why are you a perfect fit for them? So, you want to talk a little bit about all of these things. And also, if you're not a perfect fit for them, because we're not always the best fits for everybody, right?

Like sometimes what I offer just might not be a good fit for this couple, then just be straight honest about that too. I would still help them, like here's what I know and how I can still help you, but I don't think we're necessarily the best fit and here's why, but here's who would be the best fit for you. So be honest about all of that too. You don't want to book a couple that isn't a real good fit for you And don't try to push that just to make the money because your couples will come. Then after all this, you want to give a brief overview of the specific package that you feel would be the best fit for them.

Not the upsell, not the biggest money maker, the one that you genuinely think would be best for them. And then you can also, this is optional, but you can give them upgrade options and downgrade options, but try to steer them in one that would fit them specifically based on what you know about them now. And then I always end with, like, asking them, do you have any questions? Is there anything that, like, I can answer for you right now that would help you? And I will continue to just provide as much guidance and help as I can without any expectation of monetary compensation.

So, you just want to help them. Remember, this is your bestie. You just want to help them. And, if you're having trouble with this, here's the way I think about it. I am already cutting out whatever thirty minutes of my day to talk to this couple.

That, I could be, you know, banging out 10 social media posts or whatever. And if I'm gonna be spending my time, my time is super valuable. I wanna be giving them everything I've got. I'm not gonna go into this consult like, oh, this sucks. They don't wanna book me. No. I'm gonna fucking help them. I'm gonna help them as much as I can with all of my knowledge because why shouldn't I? Like, who cares if they're not paying me? I just want to help them.

That's the kind of attitude you have to have when you're talking to new couples, and you gotta trust me. They're gonna feel that genuineness and they're gonna start to feel loyal to you and they're gonna start to want to work with you more because they trust you. So, you wanna just be genuinely happy for them regardless of whether they book you or not because getting married, getting engaged, I mean, that is a huge deal. It's such a special time in anyone's life and if you're already married, I mean, you can remember what that time felt like. And, if you're not, you can imagine what that's gonna feel like.

It's super exciting. And, so, share in that excitement with them. Be happy for them. And then just provide as much help and genuine knowledge and direction as you can without expecting them to book you. And you're gonna be surprised at how many couples will just book you on the spot after this.

I almost always will immediately hear, how do we work with you? We're ready to book. And then sometimes they'll think, okay. We need to think about it. And then you're gonna just say, well, that's awesome, like no problem.

If you want to secure the date, just send me an email, or if you have any further questions, you can reach out anytime. But just so you know, my February dates are booking quickly, and so you want to try and lock up that date if you think we'd be a good fit, and I'd love to be a part of your special day. So just something simple like that to close off. And then what I do if I don't hear from them is I will just check-in with them a week later, so I'll be like, Just checking in. Wanted to see if you had any questions.

It was so great talking to you. Oh, and one other thing I always do after getting off a call or meeting with them in person, I will send them an email with an overview of everything we talked about. So here's some of the things we discussed, here's what I, you know, what I think would be a good thing for you to start thinking about right now, start working on right now. Here were some of those suggestions that I I discussed with you. And sometimes this email can be lengthy because I just gave them a bunch of advice, but what I wanna do is recap all of that in an email and then thank them again and then say, Just reach out, you know, if you have any questions or if you'd like to lock in a date.

That little extra step of recapping and reconnecting and reminding them of, you know, just how you genuinely want to help them goes a long way. Very often, within a day or two, I will get an email back saying, thank you so much. We are super excited and we wanna work with you. That's how you poop them. I hope you guys found this helpful, but here's something else to think about.

There are two types of energies that you can give off during this consult and you want to just pay attention to this because this is the difference between couples feeling connected to you and wanting to work with you versus them feeling sort of repelled. There's desperate energy versus very intentional calm energy. There's urgency versus poise. There's disassociated versus connected. There's needy versus composed and professional.

And you want to be intentional, poised, connected, composed, intentional. That is who you are because you are confident in your business. You're confident that you can give them their dream wedding day, that you are the vendor that goes above and beyond because that's just who you are. So, stay very grounded in that and remember, you are intentional, you are poised, you are connected, you are composed. This is who you are and your people will find you.

They might not be the right match for you, but they might be. And, just don't put so much pressure on yourself to book them. That's what I used to do. I used to feel like I needed to book every single one that came my way and I realized that, you know, not every single wedding is for me. There are ones that are perfect for me and there are ones that are not perfect for me And the perfect ones will come and I will know it and they will know it too.

And in the meantime, I'm just going to try to help everyone. So if you can take on that mindset too, it should help you significantly. I hope this one was a good one for you. Send me an email if you have any questions on this or if you'd like some help with growing, building your wedding business. You can also check out the weddingproacademy.com and my email is nicoleweddingproacademy dot com.

If you have any questions on any of this stuff, I love sharing this kind of knowledge. It's so fun for me. So, I hope everybody has a great weekend. Happy Friday. See you guys next week.