Do you watch wrestling? wrestling greetings salutations well hello there welcome friends and foes heels and baby faces to the one-stop shop The place that's in your face. It's the We Watch Wrestling Podcast. Emphasis on we. I'm your wonderful, darling, redheaded, bearded host, wrestling, Matt McCarthy. Flying solo this week. Vince is on assignment. There's no Vince's here. There's no flares. There's nobody to hold back Steve Austin now.
I mean, is that the greatest promo of all time? I don't know. You know, I love Macho Man Randy Savage promos, and I love... you know the cream of the crop but but it feels so disingenuous people putting that as like oh that's one of the greatest problems of all time it's like no that like went kind of half viral I don't know. It's interesting. Even like the Dusty Rhodes hard times promo. I've heard at the time it was just.
another promo um i mean obviously like you know cm punk the the pipe bomb promo that he was given to do is uh that made waves immediately instantly you know but i don't know i mean there's something more it's just a different it's just a different business you know Like Steve Austin being given a microphone on ECW and just say whatever you want. That's like a real pipe bomb.
I don't know. It's certainly one of my favorite promos. I think the Mick Foley Cactus Jack promos in Easton W for my taste are my favorite that I've ever seen from anyone. All like from him spitting on and throwing down the WCW tag belt, which was not the smartest thing for him to do at the moment. Oh shit, did I just freeze? I still have the Wi-Fi on my phone on. Literally, I got a text and then I look up and the image is frozen. So hopefully everything's fine.
God damn it. We've only been doing this, Jesus Christ, this summer will be 12 years, right? Jesus H. Christ. Figure out how to fucking put on a podcast, son. Austin 316 is a great line. I don't know that the promo in and of itself... I don't know. I mean, it's... You thump your Bible and it didn't get you anywhere. What he needs to do is go back and get himself a cheap bottle of Thunderbird. But it's also quick. It's also like he probably had.
you know, 45 seconds or something to get that out and fucking nailed it. I mean, Austin 316, it doesn't get any more legendary than that.
I don't know, flair. I mean, every flair promo is hilarious, especially those Saturday afternoon ones where he's just... I mean, it's just... You're just... fill in time and he's talking about his shoes i mean that that to me somebody who you know improvises you know you know like this podcast for instance i don't have any to play off of but like that's such a great when they say write what you know
work smarter not harder i mean for flair to go out and just tell you how much the his shoes cost it's like yeah you know those 100 or 600 alligator shoes there's no time to make that up You know what I mean? He spent $600 on alligator shoes. Now he's going to talk about it. because it's easier once once you you know you're doing it probably i mean he's on tv every single week and then lord knows if he's cutting promos at the house shows who knows but it's like
I got to come with something fresh. I got to pop one right off the dome. But as far as Flair's best promo, I mean, you know, when he comes back with the baseball bat and the... You know, neck brace. That's the fire in that one. Fire! Pizazz! Now I'm going back to Cactus Jacket ECW. Because, I mean, my God. When Foley would cut the, you know, the Kane Dewey promo is tremendous. Any of the promos he cut when he was feuding with Tommy Dreamer. What is it with you, Tommy? Is it ignorance?
Or is it apathy? When he was about to break up with Mikey Whipwreck and like he was offering Mikey to Raven. Fire! Pizazz! But then especially once you get into... Oh, when he's... God, is it specifically about Terry Funk?
No, I think it's a Tommy Dreamer promo because he's talking about being a hardcore wrestler and he's talking about... you know dynamite kid is in a wheelchair and um ray stevens uh doesn't have a scent to his name doesn't have a pot to piss in you know because he was a hardcore wrestler you know
Like that might be Cactus Jack in ECW for my money might be the one time that... a wrestler turned heel and blamed it on the crowd and it worked and it and it still works because it's like you know i'm not gonna go out there and have you Call my match. One, two, three, jump. One, two, three, jump. You know, like the you fucked up chant being like new, new.
I mean, like that's tremendous. And then also, then you get into Cactus when he was like, when he tries to apologize. That's my favorite. I mean, that is just. out of this world now my favorite might be when he's talking about playing little league not even little league um like backyard baseball the backyard wrestler talking backyard breed it's all falling apart without Vince here and he's like he had so many home runs that summer and then one kid
on the other team, one of the neighborhood kids started just sitting on top of the fence to catch the ball. And then his dad being like, you know, then, you know, if it was in left field, he's like, then pull it right. where he's in right field he's like then pull it left mickey he's like no i won't compromise he doesn't say the word compromise but that's the whole point like that that promo is unreal
I wonder if that's the same one. I'm due for a rewatch, clearly. Because I used to know each individual one, almost word for word. Because the one where he talks about, and this might be the hardcore wrestler. one where he mentions ray stevens and uh dynamite kid where he's like he talks about watching the 2020 segment And, you know, they were going to portray it in a negative light. And I was about the biggest wrestling fit in the world, Tommy. You got to understand that.
And then he's like, if there was one thing I would do, I would sacrifice myself in the name of professional wrestling. But the Miserloo, they used to do this at the end of... Hardcore TV where they would play Dick Dale's Miserloo. Theme song to Pulp Fiction. And it would be a montage of promos. Such a brilliant...
device. No one took that. Of all the things that were lifted from ECW or from New Japan or any... promotion that was being ripped off in the 90s by wwf and wcw that the montage promo with a with a like a snappy fast-paced upbeat song Nobody did that, to my knowledge. And it's such an effective use of... Because it grabs your attention. I mean, like it works.
Nowadays, probably more than ever, because our attention spans are rubbed down to a nub. I mean, my God. In 20 years, we're going to be bored between blinks. Anyway, that one I know so well. I actually just put it in the most recent, the May staff picks for the Video Garage. Go to my social media if you're interested in that. And it's got... I mean, my God, it's so long ago. It's like Bill Alfonso had just...
joined up with Taz. I think Bill Alfonso had just stopped being a referee. Joined up with Taz and then... It's like the public enemy and the pit bulls and the eliminators. You hear from the Dudleys. You hear from Stevie Richards. But the one they keep going back to, it's Mick Foley. And it's him trying to make amends with the ECW fans. Because it's after weeks and weeks of him telling them to just go fuck themselves.
And now Mick Foley, he has his hair pulled back, and he's like, hello, friends, it's Cactus Jack. Well, no, today it's Mick Foley speaking from the heart. It's the I'm hardcore promo where he keeps being like, yeah, hey, we're cool. I'm hardcore. But it builds. It builds. He's so sincere and quiet. And he's just like.
You know, I feel like me and the ECW fans, we had a connection because I am hardcore. And, you know, Tommy Dreamer wanted to drag the hardcore out of me because I am hardcore. And then he starts going into... Half my ear is missing. So are my teeth. Because I'm hardcore. But there's something lost when it's just... If it was just Mick Foley, just Cactus Jack with a seven-minute promo segment, let's say, just doing all of that.
I don't know. I mean, it's still funny as hell. It's still effective and he's still brilliant. But there's something lost for me comedically when it's not chopped up in this with other. wrestlers talking and other promos because when you keep going back to it he says something crazy he's just like Look, I can't even wear glasses because I'm hardcore. And then it cuts to, you know, the Pitbulls and Francine and, you know, Beulah and Bubba Ray Dudley. Every time it comes back.
to cactus jack that's a laugh as soon as you see his face again you're like oh my god we're getting another one then he does his next one uh and and it's just as hilarious There's also somewhere around this time, too, where it was just footage of him, Cactus, and his family at, and obviously the kids were really small then.
I mean, they were small. God, I wonder if Noel was even born. It might have just been Dewey going to like some Santa, some Christmas themed like... like local amusement park um but his wife is in it what's her name colette um and he's like you're hardcore honey
That type of thing. I was thinking about it for some reason the other day. Like literally, like yesterday. For some reason, the moment in... beyond the mat when steve austin shows up because steve austin said he didn't want to be in the documentary but he just waltzes in says hi to colette and you know dewey and noelle And at that moment when, how you doing, Steve? I'm not feeling very good at all. Good, good, good. Well, you know, you're only going to be in the rumble.
You're only going to be in the main event. Love that moment. I'm not feeling very good at all. A sip of coffee for the worker, man. Pow! I just shit my pants. Yokozuna landed on my sternum. Must have been eating some sort of shrimp burrito or something the night before. Goddamn. These are two solid-ass cats. Pancho. Panchi. Oh, God damn. Well, these goddamn cats fucking no selling me.
As soon as I take out the goddamn camera, they're like, fuck you, old man. Anyway, just going to drive around on the ranch. Got a few. I still have about, I don't know. Six or 700 acres that I still have yet to explore. On the hunt for Bigfoot. Hey, welcome back to Stone Cold. Looks for Bigfoot on its property. Goddamn. It's a solid ass Sasquatch. Every time I take out my motherfucking phone, fucking Bigfoot, no sells me, vanishes into the fucking brush.
Into the growth. Into the goddamn forests. Into the vegetation. Into the leaves. God damn solid ass Sasquatch. I fucking take out my goddamn motherfucking phone. What are you? What are you? You're killing my bit, Penny. Stone Cold Steve Austin is not actually here. You're such a 316 mark for those of you watching on the Patreon. Here's your official look at the Penny Pinscher. Penny Pinscher!
She likes it when I try and bite her ears. Penny, who's your favorite wrestler? Junkyard Dog. Oh, you're so hack. All right, get out of here. Beat it. Beat it. Every time I take out my goddamn phone, Sasquatch, he starts backing up into the bush like Homer Simpson. Launchy. Hi. Uh, what? Okay. So much has happened this week, just this weekend alone. Burying the lead. Fucking R-Truth got released? What are you doing? What are you doing? Who do I blame?
Triple H, Nick Khan, you pencil pushers. It's all just numbers to you. You don't see the value in having Ron Killings on your roster, you dopes. You dopes. That is the biggest bonehead move I've ever heard of. I mean, to think that there's no value in that guy. He is a resource. He is such a great... And so what? So what? You're going to turn him into the boogeyman? He's just going to show up? When you feel like it, when you have WWE ID.
talent to like you you're doing your fucking tough enough gags and you you all react to this person like you're just gonna fucking use him like a fucking uh treat him like he's fucking kamala or some shit he's just a fucking joke to you give him a fucking legends deal or something fuck that fuck that he should be at tv every single week and you should do something with him Him, our truth, was, to Judgment Day, what Sami Zayn was to the bloodline. I think our truth, truly.
is the x factor that got judgment day over obviously you can't take away anything from rhea ripley rhea ripley was was you know her and dom Hot, hot angle. But the rest of Judgment Day needed fucking R-Truth. Absolutely. There's no question. You know, you want to get rid of Carlito? Carlito was just taking R-Truth's spot in Judgment Day. I mean, truly. Valhalla got her release, Sarah Logan.
So such complicated. Always had such a complicated relationship with Sarah Logan because I'm such a fan. Yet she was never that. great of a wrestler but she clearly had and the Valhalla thing is so stupid I mean it was scary as fuck at first when she came out but then it's also it's like then you start seeing pictures of um I can't think of her name, but y'all remember. We saw them at Tokyo Joshi, I think. You know, other wrestlers, not just...
Obviously not doing like a Viking spirit gimmick, but like the makeup and shit. It's like, oh, what are you doing? Come on. I mean, I don't know. It's... I mean, I suppose it wasn't as distinct as if someone just came out with the ultimate warrior symbol painted on their face, but it's close enough that it's like, this is lame. This is lame and... uh you know come on how about a little decency i was i felt bad when i read her um the note she put on instagram like
Like, her career is over. Like, she's done done with pro wrestling. Like, there's no... I don't know. I felt for her. I think her politics are shit. I think her fucking, you know, you know, whatever. You want to fucking live in the woods. You want to teach your kid how to... cut up animals i ain't your dad okay do do what you got to do i think the whole like well we really do live the viking gimmick guys
Shut the fuck up. And this is coming from a guy who looks like Hagar the Horrible. Shut the fuck up. I get it. You want to live in the woods? You want to play G.I. Joe? Fine. Fine. Do you. People look at me in a room full of videotapes, and they're like, McCarthy, what are you doing? At least I make something very entertaining about it.
You know, I don't know that the Viking thing has turned into money for any of the three. I think they're a great tag team. I think the Viking thing is, look, you got to do something. You gotta have a fucking gimmick. There's no other fucking wrestling Vikings, so fucking fine. But, like, I didn't know what the fuck Valhalla was supposed to be. I hate the... It felt like half a fucking, you know...
She should have just been with the Wyatt Six at that point. I'm like, do you have a fucking... I don't know, but go back and watch that Table for Three with... I almost said Rhea Ripley. Then I almost said Bebop. who is a character from Ninja Turtles with Sarah Logan, Liv Morgan, and Ruby Soho. Oh my God. Like... Rhea Ripley, I can see making that mistake. But Bebop from Ninja Turtles, Matt? You remember that group? Sarah Logan, Liv Morgan, and Bebop?
bebop rocksteady and sarah logan um obviously live morgan has found her voice my god And thank goodness that's somebody that was continually given opportunities to try things. You know, obviously when she started in NXT, it was like... Well, we already have a Carmella. I don't know why this girl's coming out with her hat askew and her fucking suspenders. Didn't she have suspenders on? Like fucking early Tommy Dreamer or some shit.
No, did he wear suspenders or who am I thinking of? Am I thinking of Buff Bagwell? Suspenders in professional wrestling. Yuck. But watch that table for three. She's got such great energy in that interview. She's clearly like... it didn't come across on tv but it's like oh she's like the leader of that group she like clearly like she had such fuck you energy and it just never translated on the wrestling show
When I saw those pictures of her as, what was she on the indies before WWE? Like Bloody Mary or Crazy Mary or, you know, Scary Mary? some sort of permutation of mary uh it really made me mad because i was like oh fuck why doesn't she just do that and this is and i hate the supernatural spooky shit but i'm like We'll do that. That's at least interesting. Just Sarah Logan being Sarah Logan isn't, I don't give a fuck. And Valhalla is too, it's too much. And like you're a manager.
get out of here you know i don't know man i i said it years ago i was like they that group she's only 31 and now she's just fucking done with wrestling which is fine look if she doesn't want to do it she doesn't want to do it You know, go raise your kids. Go live in the fucking woods, you know? Shoot animals. Eat them. Fucking drink raw milk. Have a fucking ball, Sarah. Fucking start fires. Fuck, man. You know, infringe on other people's rights. Storm the Capitol. Have a fucking great time.
But fucking come on. Who cares? But I still I'm like. Because it was like. They all kind of, like, Liv was, you ever seen the movie Z League with Woody Allen? Upstanding, you know, non-controversial. Citizen Woodrow Allen. I don't even think his name is Woodrow. It might be Haywood. Haywood, you blow me. Folks.
But it's about a guy who, when he's around fat people, he starts becoming fat. When he's around black people, his complexion changes. He starts becoming black. It's just about this chameleon who just becomes whoever. They're around. That's the way Liv Morgan was. She shows up in NXT. She's like, I'm from New Jersey. Great. We already have a Carmella, but fine. You can do that too.
She hooks up with Ruby Soho. She's like, I like mall punk. And then finally, you know, she takes a bath and some milk and she became a lesbian. You know, wrestling's a strange beast. But. It was so bizarre to me that it's like Ruby and Liv were like, okay, we're kind of fucking these cute snot-nosed shitty punk girls. And we hang out with this fucking Viking chick. Like, what are you doing? Like, Sarah, like compromise. She should have started. I keep interrupting myself. I said it years ago.
Those three, and Sarah in particular, they needed to be the fucking mean girls in high school who dropped acid all the time. Now, I don't know if that makes sense to you. I'm not talking like mean girls like... you know uh uh regina george and them i mean literally like like like obnoxious
But really what Liv became, I love, there's a clip on Instagram. It pops up in my notifications every so often because I left a comment that... continues to get likes where i put in it live morgan is the girl in high school that convinced you to swipe a bottle of booze from your parents liquor cabinet and then went and drank it with some other guy like that's that's the mean girl who loves getting fucked up and they're always doing acid and they're just like fuck you you fucking
Like, I don't know what that conjures up in your mind, like girls who did acid in high school that, like, oh, were they hippie chicks or something? But, like, I knew plenty of people. I mean, let's face it. We were in high school that did drugs and were also like not chill about it. You know, I mean, maybe it's more of a Coke thing that like they were, they should be like.
koki girls but like the fact that logan had like her dreads and like maybe they were even like dyed different colors and shit it's like there was something there and then especially when i saw like the crazy mary clips i'm like oh why are you doing this stupid viking thing it is strangling you i want to be a viking shut up i don't know but
You know, Liv is the one. Liv is the one who broke out of that group and fucking found her voice. I mean, that's the tough thing. That's the tough thing. If you're not... If you're not... passionate about it or if you're not willing to try different things and if the company's not behind you then there's really nothing you can fucking do except for go to the indies and prove them wrong you know
The fact that Drew McIntyre is back and better than ever. The fact that Cody Rhodes is the top guy in the company. I mean, it's like, these are guys that were like, fuck you, you're wrong. Fuck you, we're right. You have made it to the dance because believe me, this is the dance. But fucking R-Truth being gone, you're wrong. Paul. You're wrong. I hate it. I hate it. I hope they never stop chanting, we want truth.
Did you see the clip online after Raw when Punk gets on the mic and he goes, I mean, really? How dare they chant for somebody who doesn't work here anymore? Think about it. Think about it on the ride home. You'll get it later. And it's like, no, we get it, Phil. You fucking hack. Shut up. Shut up. Why don't you retire? That would be the funniest thing if WWE fired CM Punk because where is he going to go?
he ain't gonna go back to tony tony baloney it's gonna be interesting when uh negotiations come up because it's like he can't i mean he's got fuck you buddy i would assume I thought he did. What's he going to do? If you leave WWE again, not only are you not going to AEW, and we know you ain't going to the UFC. Just go back to fucking Silver Lake. Go walk your dog. Go make shitty movies. We'd love it, Phil. Phil, go.
make shitty movies we love you wink wink wink for those of you not watching on patreon wink wink wink we love you in those shitty movies go do that anyway Big weekend. Oh, I mean, big week shit. Fyter Fest. Fucking Fyter Fest. It's going to be four hours. Did you hear that? Did you hear that? She's got horns. All right, let's see. Four-hour special event live Wednesday, June 4th. Bro, I'm in. One.
Two, three, four, five, six, seven matches. That's like a dollar an hour. That's like two matches an hour, right? Just about. Hurt Business. Oh, we'll hear from the Hurt Syndicate. Okay, so that's a segment. Strange to me how much I dig Bobby, how much Shelton cracks me up. It really didn't sink in until recently. It really didn't sink in recently, until recently.
that Shelton will only sell for you if he's into it. I still think Shelton's very, very good. He's objectively good, but, you know, that... It changes the way I watch him wrestle now. Now I'm more entertained by, all right, let's see if Shelton feels like it. Bobby's fucking phenomenal. Get yourself a cheeseburger, Bob. An MVP.
MVP's a great fucking mouthpiece, man. He ain't like Valhalla. He ain't coming out and you're just like, what do you do? You know? Fucking Mr. Fuji was a better manager than Valhalla. And MJF, it's grown tiresome. He's still entertaining, but like, I don't give a shit. I don't, I'm sorry. I don't give a shit about MJF.
and the hurt syndicate i don't give a flying fuck at a rolling donut if he joins the group if he doesn't join the group if shelton likes it if bobby likes it if mvp doesn't like it if shelton i'm like It's mid-card time-wasting bullshit. I don't care. The trios match. Look. It's going to be killer. You got... What the fuck do they call Taurus now? Mortis? Right? No. That was the guy in WCW. Right? Whatever. I mean, just quickly.
As far as all the layoffs, the cuts, that's the word I'm looking for, the cuts recently. Obviously, Shotzi got cut. She seems like somebody who's... She needs to go to the indies. She needs to reinvent herself immediately. Lose the helmet. Like, just be a fucking... Be the horror host, you know?
be a fucking vampire be a fucking what was my pitch i don't even remember this is why you got to write things down or like say them on podcasts because then it's like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what she should do I don't know. Somebody let me know what my pitch was for Shotzi. But like I noticed her Instagram, it's still Shotzi WWE. I'm like, baby girl, you got to change that.
You got to do something about that. But like Andrade's got to be shit in his pants, right? Titus, what deal is Titus O'Neil on? Is he just a meet and greet guy? Does he just do the goodwill ambassador shit? Because it also feels like there's bigger stars who are getting close to... winding down in-ring stuff. Who could do that? So I don't know. Tamina Snuka still has a contract with the company. Like, what is that? Is that like, like, this is where my mind goes. It's either she's like.
air quotes considered a cousin of the rocks or like what is it is it is it some sort of Jimmy Snuka dirt from the Vince McMahon years is there still you know does she know where This is not the correct turn of phrase, but like, does she know where the bodies are buried? But I mean, I don't know. I mean, like, is she going to... She's not going to like...
indict her old man or some shit. I don't know. It's just, it makes so little sense, it can only lead to wild speculation. It's like the Macho Man thing. Why did Vince never want to work with Macho Man again? It leads to, well, probably because he slept with Stephanie when she was underage. Like that becomes the most logical conclusion because nothing else makes sense. Like it has to be so outrageous of a reason.
that's that's what we tend to assume so i don't know like if her dad wasn't jimmy snooker would she still have this fucking like contract and she hasn't wrestled in fucking two years i know she's not on the roster anymore on the website but like the fucking check comes every two weeks i don't know I like Tamina too. I mean, she never did shit for me as a wrestler. But when I worked there, she was an absolute sweetheart. What is it, Penny?
You don't like the Snookas? What happened to her brother? What was his name, like Deuce or something? What happened to the Deuce? See, what a missed opportunity. for like you know like some ruthless aggression shit like and maybe they did do this but like jerry lawler's on the ones and twos and like deuce gets body slammed oh man he just dropped a deuce That's what we used to call pooping. Yeah, trios match will be fun. Mike Bailey, Commander. Come on now. Come on now.
Who's the other guy? I'm looking at Instagram, so it's small. I got to zoom in. Kevin Knight. I don't have my glasses on either. My glasses! Ooh, the toxic spider, Thackla, in-ring debut. Is that how you pronounce her name? Thackla? What the heckla, Thackla? No, you got peanut butter on my Tesla. We saw her Mania Weekend at the Stardom Show. She was tagging with Clark Connors and someone else. Who was that? Someone else. Who was that masked man? Probably. Uh, Natsuko Tora.
There you go. And then, I mean, this makes sense why she's coming to AEW, because she probably had to get the hell out of Dodge when they assaulted the president of stardom. Felt like a police matter. So that'll be interesting to see her. I love that AEW is the, you know, well, I guess both companies have plucked stars from stardom, but, oh. Jesus Christ, Barry in the lead again. I mean, it's still garbage train, so we don't know, but I mean, Christ, Mariah May isn't.
isn't on the AEW roster anymore, and she sure as fuck hasn't been on the TV since we saw that. Probably the match of the year. I don't know. The year ain't over yet, but I mean... It's my favorite match so far this year. I haven't watched that. The finals of the best of the Super Juniors are supposed to be fabulous. So I'll check that out as well. I was in Nashville all weekend, so, you know, no time.
driving around to different estate sales i got a fucking here we'll give you guys a look i got a suitcase full of garbs sent me a message it was like are you are you gonna check these did you did you bring an extra bag like oh baby girl i make sure there's room before i leave so yeah That suitcase, I know one side will hold 25 VHS tapes. I know that for a fact. How do I know that? Experience. Mariah May.
Seems like she is WWE bound. I think it's a huge mistake. Look, who knows what the future of AEW is going to be. They're going to be on TV for the next few years. What the fuck is going to happen with TV in the next few years? What the fuck's going to happen with WB? WBD? Who knows? Who knows? Apparently her dream was always to be in WWE. Well, then God bless you. Then go do that. Go live your dream. Go live your dream. You want to be on WrestleMania? Go be on WrestleMania. Fuck.
They'd love to have you. I tell you, though, the people who... It's probably still in that... It's still in the culture. It's still in the air. The people whose dream it is to be at WWE when they know that... when wwe knows that it doesn't work in your favor you know it's the goldbergs and the brock lesners who have a little bit more of a fuck you fuck you pay me
Gonna make you the main event, pal. Fuck you, pay me. I was gonna put the belt on you. Fuck you, pay me. Not to take away from either of their abilities or drawing power, obviously. Both Hall of Famers. One apparently likes watching people get peed on, but who knows which one it is? We don't know. Pure speculation. Garbage train. And lawsuits. Who knows? Look, I'm not here to judge anybody. I ain't here to yuck your yum. But good.
God almighty. John Laurinaitis flipped sides again in the fucking lawsuit. I mean, this is the best storyline Vince McMahon has been involved in in decades. What a fucking train wreck. God. Good. Golly, Miss Molly. Ponderous, man. Fucking ponderous. Ponderous. I thought we were almost done. See, when Vince isn't here.
I bring the coffee pot in with me. I don't know why I only do that when Vince isn't here. I guess because there's no one to vamp. But then again, why wouldn't I bring it in just so I can refill the coffee? It's not like I ever abandoned. I'm sure I have. But, you know, you all love the Vince Vamps. You all love that Vince Vamp? If the economy was doing better and we could sell t-shirts, you know, hand over fist, we would have a Vince Vamp t-shirt.
Maybe we will. Maybe we will. It just says Vince Vamp, and it's a drawing of Vince, and there's beads of sweat. I don't know. Anytime we've made a... We noticed this. We have the numbers. Anytime we made a t-shirt with pictures of our faces on, they didn't sell as well. I don't know if you guys know that or not. But... Oh, Mariah May. It's a mistake. It's a mistake. In my opinion, IMHO. They already have...
Tiffy, they already have Charlotte. And understand something. I'm not reducing it to, oh, well, she's a pretty blonde. They reduce it to that, okay? This isn't Matt McCarthy saying, well, we already have one of those. It's fucking WWE. All right? And I understand Vince McMahon is gone, but I feel like... the the the the emperor's new clothes are starting to show a little bit creative wise i mean that was um the matches were a lot of fun at mania but
the creative going in and coming out has been a little, Oh, okay. All right. I mean, okay. You know, Because it just has been. They've... To Triple H's credit, he is... obviously much more open to changing horses mid-stride than Vince McMahon ever was. Vince really needed his hand forced. Like he needed a CM Punk to walk out for him to go with a Daniel Bryan. And that just...
Came with age. Vince was smart enough in the 80s to know Bob Backlund is not the way. We should have left the belt on superstar Billy Graham. But Vince Sr. He was the old one set in his ways at that point. Goddamn, no. Goddamn it, Dad. We should leave the belt on Billy Graham. We're not going to do that, son. Welcome back to Dueling Vince's. I'm Vince Senior. I'm going to go get my hair cut. Get my hair cut at the same place every day. Did you hear Vince?
Named his new production company or his company. Whatever the address of his dad's old office was in New York. That's cute. That's cute, Vince. I hope everything works out great for you. Go produce some crap. Whatever. But yeah, Mariah May. I don't know. We'll see. We'll see what happens. Again, it's up to WWE. If they stifle her, if they make her change her name...
They make her go through NXT? I mean, it's just... She's a total package. She's an absolute total package. Everything is there. The wrestling, the gimmick. the promos, the look, the age. I mean, like, can you imagine if in the 80s when Vince was raiding talent from like... watts and crockett and verne and stew if he was just like i don't think you know how to work my you don't know how to work the new york style yet you need to slow down i mean look
They had the house show circuit, and I'm sure they got lots of feedback. Like, hmm, we don't do that up here. God damn it, stop cutting your fucking forehead open. What are you, a fucking jerk off? But at the same time, it's like... Are they professionals who know how to do their job? You're telling me wrestlers don't watch WWE? They know how to fucking work WWE style. You know?
Oh, he accidentally popped him in the face. He's too used to that New Japan shit. It's like, no, he's fucking nervous because you're being a dick, Vince. So if you're going to pluck Mariah May. Let her be Mariah May. Let her blossom. Let her be the fucking top star in the company. She can be the top star in your stupid company. Get out of her way. But it's a shame. It's a shame. Tony Storm and Mariah May should be, you know, to coin a phrase, a timeless program.
Like a, like a Sammy Zane, Kevin Owens, like a, like a, you know, Roddy Piper, Hulk Hogan. Never, never stop. Never stop. You know, but whatever. That's just me, selfish fan, wanting what I want. FTR versus Atlantis Jr. and Templario. That'll be fun. Here we go. Mercedes Monet on commentary. Why would you advertise that? Angle alert. It's not like she's going to add anything groundbreaking on the commentary.
Tony and Mina versus Sky Blue and Julia. I mean, for Christ's sakes, when I was a kid, Ultimate Warrior left and came back. And had lost just a little bit of weight and gotten a little bit of a haircut. And this is before the internet existed. And the rumor nationwide, worldwide. Was that Jim Hallowag had died. And they replaced him. With a different ultimate warrior. Well folks. I'm here to tell you. Sky Blue is dead.
They have replaced her with a fake Paul McCartney motherfucking sky blue. Who is this imposter? Not my sky blue. Moxley versus Briscoe. Let Briscoe win this one, please. Can we get Mark a payday? He almost fucking bled to death on your pay-per-view. Can he just get a win over Mox? It's not for the belt. Just... Give him a fucking win. And then the AEW International Championship four-way. Claudio, Mascara Dorada, Kenny Omega.
And Brody King. What a fabulous, fabulous match that's going to be. It really didn't occur to me until, again, this weekend. I spent a lot of time thinking about wrestling. Because, you know, I spend a lot of time watching wrestling and going to a state sales. Let's face it. I love buying VHS tapes. I... often compare, as we all do, past decades to current decades. And I think going into the 2000s and then into the 2010s,
It was hard for me to make the distinction between clear... Sometimes I forget, oh, we're living in the 20s right now. Because it doesn't feel like people refer... Hey, the 50s, the 60s, the 70s, the 80s, the 90s. I don't feel like we've gotten there with, well, back in the 20s. You know what I mean?
my god we're halfway through the 20s i can't even believe it i feel like we still i mean i don't know at least in in in my circle not my my group of friends i mean just in the in the space where I receive information and observe other people talking it's like I feel like we still say the 2020s the 2010s I don't know. Did they say 1900s back then? I mean, this is a total digression, but that is wild to me. Like, my son and, you know.
obviously younger than me, people in their 20s, like people who were not alive in the 90s who refer to the 20th century as the 1900s. I'm like, okay, I understand. but it's just, it's, it's just a, so we, the phrase, the 20th century was just so. I don't know, of its time. And the fact that we were approaching the 21st century was wild. But to call it the 1900s, I'm like, no, that was 19... 01 to 1910. That was the 1900s. You know what I mean? And the aughts.
Do you remember when we tried calling the early 2000s the aughts? I never thought we would make this transition away from the 2000s to the 20s. meaning like anytime somebody like if somebody ever called 2004 2004 i'm just like the fuck out of here go go go twirl your mustache at a different fucking coffee house you fucking hipster hack go eat your fucking horn rim glasses
Get the fuck out of here. Oh, back in... Oh, God, I mean, next year it's going to be 2006. Shut the fuck up. It's 2006. Or 06. I think we got more comfortable with that. Anyway, I don't know why I'm talking about this. But talking about like decades with pro wrestling, it was like, okay, the idea of like somebody who started in the 70s.
Okay, they're still going to be wrestling in the 80s. Are they still going to be wrestling in the 90s? Like Bob Backlund? It was like, you're still at it, huh? Or like Ric Flair? Like, wow. Remember in 1992 when it felt like Ric Flair was old? Folks. Did you see his stupid Instagram post about Jim Ross? Somebody take Grandpa's car keys away.
Somebody take Rick's phone. And then he has the fucking balls. The balls. Let me see if this one's still up. To fucking put a picture of himself rehabbing from his. Yeah. Oh. First of all, he puts, if you can't take a joke from a 76 year old man, shut the fuck up, Rick. But then the next follow up is pictures of him in the coma and rehabbing from the coma.
In my Sunday feels, there isn't a minute that goes by where I don't think about how blessed I am. So grateful for my health and my family, I don't take anything for granted. As he types this nine beers deep. You know, Rick, shut up. I love you so much, Rick. I love you so much. Rick Flair, I love you so much. I need you to stop talking. I need you to get off the internet. Read a book! Ugh! You know? Just stop. Stop. Go to fucking therapy.
A real therapy. Not one where you're like, man, I fucking told the guy I drink nine hard drinks on the way to the bar. And then I have 18 kamikazes at the bar. Woo! Shut up.
I love you so much, I need you to shut up. I feel like my mental image of my relationship with Ric Flair at this point is it's like that scene in Saving Private Ryan where I'm just like, I'm slowly... pushing the knife into his chest i'm just going what was the movie uh oh and drive in drive when um when um albert brooks is like the hard part's over now you know just me like just holding a pillow on rick flair's face i'm just like stop talking just stop
this Rick we have to anyway my point is thinking about Kenny Omega as though he were Macho Man Randy Savage because I'm like there's still something like because when the company started and then Kenny either got hurt and came back, or then when he was gone with the diverticulitis and then finally came back, it was like, I don't know, part of me still thinks of Kenny as like a new young guy. Whereas when Macho Man was wrestling in WCW in the late 90s, I didn't feel that way.
I was like, oh, this is a guy from the 80s. So it really took me like I had to concentrate and realize like, oh, no, no, no. Kenny was. Kenny was the blonde guy with the curly hair at the New Japan show at Basketball City in 2010, Matt. 15 years ago. That's... Like, if that was... If that was 1985, Macho Man, it's now the year 2000. In the year 2000. It's like, oh, right, right. Time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping into the future. So anyway.
Just want to mention money in the bank and worlds collide, obviously, before we pack this up. You know what's crazy is you can just look at the timestamp and you know how much longer I'm going to talk, but I don't. I don't know. I don't know shit. My hands are clean of this one. I swear to God. So Worlds Collide. I will watch it at some point, probably late. Oh. Saturday night. This chair is no good. Oh, this chair hurts my tailbone. Hurts my cock. Oh, I need I need to get a.
Because I got rid of the big blue chair that I used to sit in. And now this is like a smaller little white chair. But there's no cushion for my pushing. And folks, I need it. Because flying on Southwest, I was like, this is actually way more comfortable than, at least the type of Southwest plane I was on was way more comfortable than an American Airlines. Because I was on American Airlines.
the other week and i was just like holy shit this is ripping up my my tailbone my butt oh i got fucking stopped i was wearing these pants they're khakis they're not even khakis they're just i don't know what they are but fuck man i got stopped with the red cookie cookie dough sheet and the guy's fucking rubbing my dick in my butthole with the back of his hand i was so
fucking pissed and then the woman behind me she goes through she gets stopped again and i'm like guys it's the machine it's the machine or this guy's you know a back of the hand pervert Okay, we're all done. Have a great day. I said nothing. First of all, I was just shocked. I have a fucking suitcase full of VHS tapes. It always gets pulled. It always gets flagged. They're always like, what is in here?
Like VHS? Somebody must have been like, oh, are we rubbing this guy's dick with the back of our hands? Then we'll let the VHS tapes go. Psycho Clown is about to be on a WWE pay-per-view. Is that the craziest thing you've ever heard? You got that six-man tag. The Vakingo versus Gable. Madness. And he just won that AAA mega championship. Can you even imagine if they fucking flip it onto Chad Gable real quick? There's no way, but that'd be crazy.
Oh, Laredo Kid's going to be on. Javon Evans. It's fucking 21. That's insane to me. He just turned 21. He just turned 21. My God. Let's hope Ethan Page keeps his butt in his pants. Okay. Stephanie Vakor. Vakor. I'll get it right at some point. She's in a tag. I love that. Oh, yeah, Lola Vice. She's fine. She's better than fine, but I mean, what are you going to do? And the Latino World Order. That is so funny to me. The LWO. Still at it.
Still at it. Joaquin Wilds. How does that guy still have a job? We'll see. We'll see. I don't know why I'm singling him out. I'm just like looking at, you know. It's DJ Z. Yo, DJ, hit my music. Aerostar is going to be on the WWE pay-per-view. That's so crazy to me. Yeah. And then Money in the Bank. That's Can't Miss TV. Let's see. Who is in the...
We got Lyra Valkyria versus Becky Lynch. That'll be fun. Hopefully that'll be fun. I don't know that this feud has been the best thing for Lyra. I mean, it's been fine, but... I don't know. It's a dumb stipulation. I mean, anytime it's the I can never challenge again while you're a champ. It's kind of silly because it's like, well, the feud's going to be over, so you wouldn't be challenging me anyway. It's like when they would do Cyber Sunday, and it's like...
WWE fans, you get to pick the match. Is it going to be a no holds barred match, a no DQ match, or an extreme rules match? You know? If Valkyria loses, she will be forced to raise Becky Lynch's hand. It's like, ooh, you're the better woman. Ooh, I'm just not, you know. Cody and Jay versus John and Logan. Feels like a raw. That's a raw match. That's like a match on the go-home show.
before the pay-per-view but whatever there's too much there's too much there's there's too much i look at the schedule of pro wrestling happening every single week this week in particular And I turn into Eugene Levy in the movie Club Paradise when he gets a garbage bag full of weed in his hotel room. That's too much. This is too much. It's too much. All right. Women's money in the bank. Alexa Bliss. How much longer she got? You know, it was like she came back.
Then she was gone. Now I guess she's back again. This is adorable. Wikipedia says she's five foot one. Folks, give me a fucking break. This woman is 50 inches tall. I mean, fuck off. Five foot one. Five foot one. How fucking dare you? This is why people get upset with pro wrestling. They're like, you're not going to fucking fool me.
You're trying to tell me that that fucking Oompa Loompa over there is five foot fucking one. Get the fuck out of my face. Go climb back in a fucking garbage can with Oscar the Grouch. How? dare you five foot one eat shit that woman is so tiny she goes to a p pediatrist that would have been a good joke if i'd said podiatrist a podiatrist Pediatrician. Would have been a sweet, sweet joke. Pow. She's so short she goes to a foot doctor because she's only one foot tall.
Roxy Perez, Rhea Ripley, Julia, Naomi, Stephanie Vakor. This is going to be a fucking unbelievable match. This is going to be an unbelievable match. Oh, my God. I don't care who wins. As long as it's not Alexa Bliss. And I enjoy Alexa Bliss, but I'm like, she's another one. I'm like. Really? You still dressing like the Bray Wyatt thing? I'm like, you need to move on. This was your big chance. You were gone from TV for fucking ever.
You had a baby and now the baby is in pre-K. You have been gone so long. Fucking reinvent the gimmick. Why don't people notice that Chris Jericho, for all his flaws, of which there are many, always stays relevant and interesting and fresh because he fucking changes it up. He's still Chris Jericho, but he changes it up. These people that get locked into a fucking gimmick, and then what? What are you going to do, Alexa? Are you going to be walking around WrestleCon in 20 years?
With the pigtails and the fucking leather jacket and the stupid doll. It's over. It's over, honey baby. Come on. Change it up.
I don't see them putting it on Roxy. I don't see them putting it on Julia. I don't see them putting it on Rhea. Although Rhea walking around with the briefcase. Because it's less about the title shot and it's more about... picturing the person every week walking around with the briefcase you know presumably they'll cash it in and get it i mean you got to be a fucking jerk off for them to give you the the suitcase and you cash in and you don't get it like that's like
like they're gonna do that to joe hendry someday you know like they're gonna like that's that's a fucking um i mean it's it's such a fucking like that is that's the worst thing that can happen to somebody's career they cash in and don't win like you are such a loser at that point you're beyond a loser you're a fucking idiot you know what i mean like it's one thing if the bell rings
and you give a hell of a fucking fight, and you just get beaten that day because anybody could win any given Sunday. And they've created the rules. if you have the briefcase you are gonna fucking sneak attack somebody you are gonna take advantage of two dead people laying in the ring and if you can't pull that off you're not just a loser you're a fucking dork you're a geek you're a nerd you're a fucking idiot and i don't see them necessarily doing that to anybody in this match so it does seem
Whoever wins it would get the briefcase. I could see Rhea walking around with the briefcase. I could see Naomi walking around with the briefcase, honestly. Alexa. She could fit in the briefcase. That's the problem, folks. She's in the briefcase. When they finally open up Moxley's briefcase, Alexa Bliss is in there. Who would I like to see win it? Either Roxy or Julia. And Stephanie Vacour is probably my favorite person in this match, but...
I want her to... The other two feel like, you know, like Roxy of all of either of them has like that snot nose. I've got the briefcase. I might cash in on you any second attitude. Stephanie, she'll get her shot. and julia too julia has that kind of i'm a fucking snot i've got the briefcase but i think roxy more so she's got she's she's uh but they're both so smirky
Like looking at the camera, like smirking at each other type of thing. And then the men's match. Solo Sokoa, LA Knight, Penta, Seth Rollins, Andrade, and El Grande Americano. I mean, honestly, first thought, Andrade wins, he cashes in, he loses, and then he gets his fucking papers. There you go, kids. My favorite wrestler this week, I think is everybody's favorite wrestler this week, Ron Killings, Kay Quick, R-Truth.
consistently entertaining very very few wrestlers very few entertainers you know can you point to and say They are consistently entertaining. Even when he wasn't doing the, you know, absent-minded professor gimmick or just absent-minded professor implies he's like, you know. Inventing flubber. But like the absent-minded, easily confused. Like that heel run, if you're not familiar with it, that heel run where what was it? Capital Combat? Him and John Cena?
fantastic him smoking a cigarette on the way to the ring him just walking to the ring with no music that was tremendous him coming up with the little jimmy thing him dumping sodas on fucking fans and shit
It's fabulous. It's absolutely fabulous. I want to say 2010 into 2011. Because then once you get to that Survivor Series, it's Miz and Truth versus Rock and Cena. And that was... pretty well the end of ms and truth and then that's when he started you know being our truth started being less of you know a tough mean guy from the streets and much more of a
you know, uh, beloved comedy character, but he always delivered, always delivered. I don't know if his matches were the greatest, but I mean, it's, it's, it's sometimes it's, it's more than that. And he was somebody who was more than that. I think they made a huge mistake. They made a huge, huge mistake. And I hope it continues to bite them in the ass until they realize, oh, we got to bring this guy back. So we'll see.
We'll see. Stranger things have happened in professional wrestling. All right. For those of you on the Patreon, I'm going to rock out the solo Q&A in a little bit. And in the meantime, the rest of you... Thank you for your continued support. And if you're new to the pond, welcome. You can join the Patreon. You can listen to bonus audio. You can listen to the Q&A. You can submit a question. You can hang out in the Discord. It's an actual, real, thriving, you know.
we become friends in real life type of discord. It's a lot of fun. And what else? I will post that Q and a, and then Vince will be back for a little 0.5 on the Patreon, probably Thursday or Friday. And until then, you can follow me at McCarthy Red Hat on all forms of social media. If you want to join the movie club, get yourself a membership card to the video garage, access to full unedited videotapes. You can do that. and my Patreon, and take care of yourselves and each other.