Shameless Plugs

So we have some announcements. Yeah, we're gonna plug some things. We're gonna plug something. So some of you, what's up big one? Yours a big one? Uh, those of you who follow me on social media? And I've already seen this, but I can finally talk about the fact that my pregnancy book is coming out February fourth. You wrote a book about pregnancy. I wrote a book from for new moms about pregnancy, childbirth, You're going to say, from memory

and having a baby. And I co wrote it with my best friend Jackie Jackie and Ruise, and she did all the illustrations and we tried to make it. Can I talk I'm just chiming into interrupt and say that mumble things under so that my words become unintelligible and no one knows. Incredible. You should read it, okay. So

I'm really excited to be finally promoting it. We've been working for a really long time and we were just trying to make the sort of like a funny, encouraging, yet informative book about what is actually in store for you when you're having a baby. So I apologize to everyone listening to this. You already probably have children, most of you, but if you know anyone who is expecting in the next few months. The book comes out February fourth, available for preorder. Um, I really like this is one

of the few things in my life. I really feel good about the work I've put into it and the

amount of research and energy and love. No, I mean, I feel this way about other things, but it's not all like often something comes along that you're just like, wow, that's really I really put a lot into that, I think, especially because Jackie and I started writing this book Proposal when Maven was like a month old, So this is this has been a labor of love for three years now and we've we've worked really hard to remember in graphic detail what it actually feels like to have a

newborn and if we felt like when we got pregnant, the books out there we're kind of either fearmongerie and making you anxious, or they're kind of just like vaguely uplifting in sort of a cheesy mom way. It's just like they didn't didn't feel like there was pregnancy books out there that really spoke to real women and our frustrations with pregnancy and childbirth and all of that stuff. But and I think the reason why is because when you're postpartum, you're way too fucking tired to write about

this stuff. So I'm very proud that we wrote all of our sleepy notes down in our phones over the course of many years and finally made a book out of it, and some of you while you were while your thyroid was not working, and some of the while I didn't have a functional thyroid. So I'm proud of it, and I hope it makes someone else's pregnancy journey a little bit easier. Well, Beth, I'm very proud of you and the snippets that I've read sneakily through the drop

box that you use that is owned by me. Um. Okay, I haven't read the whole book, but I have lord it over me that you can afford a drop box membership, that I am forced to sell some books and afford your own drop box, I will, Okay, I'm fine with that. My next book, you'll never know what it's about. You'll find out when the people find out. I shouldn't have challenged you. How many times must I learn that lesson?

And I spent the last two days recording the audio book, or at least my half of the audio book, and so I can't believe my voice is functioning right now. You know something I think you may not have thought about yourself being The sentence is off to a rocky start. Um, but I'm gonna power through is a voice over artists

Voice over artists. Since doing this podcast, we've had many people talk about how soothing your I don't know if people are kidding me or not, but I've really in the recent months overcome a lot of imposter syndrome I have about how annoying my voice is. Because I said I didn't want to listen to my voice on this podcast, and someone wrote in about it to make me feel better. But like doing the book the audiobook, it felt like I was like, you know, I'm actually not anxious about this.

I've done a lot of podcasts, and I feel like you've done You've done eighty episodes of a parenting podcast. You can do an audio book that you've pre written. It's just nice to feel slightly secure in something in your life where you're like, you know what, I can talk for a very long time. You know what, I know how to speak these words of mine. I love you, love you. Um, that's fantastic. Bravo to you reading it for for I haven't done yet. I look forward to

seeing it. It's full colorful glory with all Jackie's illustrations printed and um, there's some really funny illustrations and infographics. That is the part of the dropbox that I went all the way through graphics. We make a little bit of fun of husbands and male partners. Um. So if

you like this podcast. Oh but I didn't get to say the title because you kept interrupting me every single second because I woke up and Okay, so the title of the book is There's No Manual, Honest and Gory Wisdom about having a Baby by Beth Newel and Jackie and Ruise Um. And yeah, you can find it up on Amazon now and probably other places find it. Find it. But you had something you wanted to plug. Well, it's not as good as that. No, it's very exciting. If

you ask my mom, your news is more exciting. So you are going to be on the Tonight Show. It's true and settled down, settled down. It's not a big deal. It's a small small things. You have a small appearance in a music video sketch right, yes, our dear friend Rachel when it's If you're a Story Parts podcast fan, you know Rachel. She's Rachel from the podcast um Rachel when also known as Rachel also known as Rachel, she plays Rachel Um also known as a writer on the

Tonight Show. And she is incredibly good at doing like musical parodies and funny music videos and songs. And she is in a musical duo called Friends who Folk that really get that l in there, Friends who Folk Friend Folk. As an audiobook reader, I'm very familiar with enunciation. Um. So yeah, um, yes. If you're a fan of the Story Parts podcast and you love such hits as Cat Sit on You, or Hamster's work Day or all eight Unicorns.

Rachel wrote all of those. Anyway, you probably haven't heard her that much these days in the podcast because she works for The Tonight Show, which Peter will be on on Thanksgiving night. And unless they cut me, and then this will be regrettable that I said, it definitely be a less than three second shot of But I did just get a text saying they were giving me more money because my part now has a line, so big time. But this is where to celebrate. Rachel wrote a really funny,

awesome thing that you should listen to. But anyway, I debated whether I should tell you because I knew you would tell your family and on Thanksgiving when we're all together, someone's gonna love it. You love it, I didn't. I love people telling me that they enjoyed something after the fact. But my family needs something to latch onto every holiday. Other wise they're just going to be arguing about cooking

or something. So if you give them an excuse to say, oh, Mr Tonight Show every time you walk in the room, that is a preferable distraction. I don't say at the time at a family reunion where we were all, you know, I don't know how many people, it seems like a million sometimes, all sitting around and someone's like, hey, Peter, you've got you've got an acting Because we were watching like my cousin's like high school like video project on YouTube or something, and then we were like, what else

can we watch? Somebody hooked up the computer to the We watched your reel, which is very embarrassing for you. If you guys want to look it up, just google Peter Peter McNerney, real acting, real fun. I don't care if you do it. Look it up. Look it up. It's pretty good. But you Peter McNerney dot net, you were so uncomfortable, Well, how with your family be like hey, let's watch it and watch you watch it? Thankfully it

got a lot of laughs. Yeah. It did really help me in the end because I was like, oh, there's a clip in there. They got no laughs. And that's the biz, you know, that's the big feedback. Incorporating feedback um all also plug story pirates. Right now, we just launched UM the Story Parots Creator Club. If you're a story Parts fan and you want to get some special insider treats, Lego, Story Parts Magazine, v I P tickets,

t shirt, all the stuff. Go and check it out Story Prize Creator Club and also our third Story Parts book, which is called Um The Uh, The Case, the Crusaded, the Crystal Ground. This is what happens when you get plug happy, Peter, we don't have to pullock every single thing. We embarrassed, um that I don't know the aim of my own company's book. Oh my god, You're gonna get so much for this. I'm gonna I'm gonna have to

edit this out. Well, go to the story Pirates. Go to story pirates dot org and you can find out all sorts of information about story Pirates. Another podcast that is not this podcast, Um, The Quest for the Crystal Crown. Okay, I knew that. I've known this for a year. That book comes out a weekend. We we kind of okay, yes, so by best book first, Well, if we're gonna keep doing plugs, I'll also fit I'll also say February is a great time to think about buying The Reductors's card game.

We'll be out. Do you guys know that Beth is the co founder and the creator and the CEO president of Well anyway, we made a card game called Play the Patriarchy and it's not really I don't think it's been announced yet, but it's coming out in mid to late February. And as someone who you know well does not enjoy games easily, I did my darndist to design gameplay that is not annoying to have to play when you're slightly drunk at a party. So you've asked my

input on some things before. Are you mad that I didn't? Did you know that this game was even happening? But this is the one where I'm I'm surprised you asked my input on other things and not this. But when have I ever asked for your input on anything? You have me read scripts sometimes you don't like what I have to say. I mean, maybe it means you asked to see things that I'm working on. I am very excited whenever you But this is like the pluggiest episode.

Never plug our stuff. We don't. We don't do a lot of plugging on this podcast. So honestly, you guys asked for it, and episode we've earned it. Check out O the stuff that doesn't you know? Okay, should we talk about our kids? I want to oh sound installation, blanket is falling off the wall in eight episodes. This has never happened. It used to have every episode. Should we pause and fix it? Are you good? Okay? Good?

So bran Uh. We tried. We tried to go no, no more pull ups at bedtime, despite the fact that every morning he wakes up and the pull up is full to the brim of the pp and uh, you know, I was like, let's go for it. Let's see what happens, because I've heard some people as soon as you take it off, you know, subconscious day, they can feel it's not on and they don't pee. So let's give it a whirl. So I bought a heavy duty mattress wrap plastic wrap so that if you pee in the bed

it would be fine. And so he did. Of course the next morning, okay, great, well we'll try again. And we did a whole week um and every morning there was an unimaginable amount of urine. My favorite part is like two or three days and he woke up and he goes, I didn't pee, and then he was covered in pea. He was so excited, amazing. We all jump around and then I touched him, I like, all of your jammies are wet up to your neck. Your pajamas are wet. He's like, oh, um, I guess I peete

a little bit, just all over myself. I mean, we kept a light, we were I'm very conscious of not making him feel ashamed. If anything. If there's one thing I'm not worried about with him, it's his ego. Um. So he we we washed the sheets every morning for a whole week. And then he finally obviously said I think I want to go back to my pull ups.

I go, okay, that's fine, Yeah, we'll do that. But then, of course at this point you didn't have any pullups because he dramatically wanted to run down to the very last pull up and then say no more pull ups. Well, I gotta say he got on board with the plan. So when we did no pull up, he was positive about it. He goes, let's go for it, and he never freaked out. And we got him more and he was having to put it back on and then he peas to the brim and overflows the pull ups. Yeah,

so we got him a bigger size. So we got him some good nights. We got him some good nights, although I did hear a rumor that the Good Knights are not very absorbent. So then I got these what are they called, um their pads. Yeah, but they have a name like Docie or something like something weird, booster

booster pads, Booster pads. They have a different name than that, that's not the brand, but they So they are these pads that go in the pull up or the Good Knights to give it more a little more soaking power, which is what our son is definitely in need of, because the second we went back to the pull ups, he was just so came through the pull ups all over the bed anyway. So weirdly, tonight we get we finally got the bigger size, and I'm like, all right, Britain.

So we're putting on putting on one of these, and then he got real anxious. He goes, no, I want my old one, and I'm like, I'm not going to play this game, and so I put my foot down and he gets it escalates quickly. But I had already said no books in bed until you put this on. And and you came in like right after it escalated, and I'm like, I can't back. I can't back down.

And so there was a bit of a time where he was crying and freaking out and screaming, and I had to turn out the light and calm calming down, and then and then and then we'd calmed down, and I put in my lap and I held them and I was like, how do you feel right now? Because I feel angry? You know how you ask your kids how they feel and they don't actually engage in that conversation, but he did in a way never had goes I'm feeling. I think they've been talking about feelings a lot at school.

I loved it that he gave me a very honest answer. One thing I appreciate in his classroom, which seems to me sort of a town wide like effort, is that they're focused a lot on um kids needing to move and fidget and like, you know, there's like the fidget spinners that people talk about, like so they like when

I went. So I went in for his parent teacher conference last week, which we haven't fully talked about, but the teacher was saying, how like she can tell by the end of the day that he's like kind of needing to move because he'll be like crab walking along on the floor like he's like on his hands and feet,

which I was like, oh, yeah, that's him. Um, but she kept like, she kept like prefacing it by being like, I mean, it's a long day for all of us, and it makes sense that he's getting a little like, but they have a corner in the class room where kids can go to this basket for like sensory stuff and like play with the fidget spinner, do these things. And she said, he actually doesn't go over there very much, like I don't think that's his thing. He wants to

be like rolling on the floor. Yeah, but um, I really appreciate that they're like monitoring that in a way that feels very empathetic to the children and their needs and not like they're angry at them for getting fidgety. Yeah, it's not a sit still. They have you know, what's their their mindful mindfulness our or not our but mindfulness this time Yeah, where it's it's not nap time, but you can you can meditate, you can. It's just a quiet sort of they have a whole hour. It's not

an hour, it's mindful. Like that sounds insane for a five year old but mindful is in the name. He'll tell you all about it. Okay. Well, so I was asking her because she was she was like going through all the things, and I knew exactly what she was going to say because she was like, you know, here's his letters, and he's doing pretty good. And that's like developmentally at the right spot. And he's very smart and social and like he gets along well with everyone and

he has a lot of friends. And she's like, but the thing is, he sometimes has trouble like focusing, like when we're all walking down the halls and he's kind of like that's safe. Yeah, And she's like, it's what my concern is, it's not safe. And I was like, no,

I get it. This is like everyone's complained about him because he gets so excited to be around kids and other people, and he's like so distractable and like happy to be with everyone that he's not focusing on the stairs he's walking down or like, well, he told me that she told him that he's in charge of keeping everyone safe. Oh, he said that. He told me she told him, he's like, hey, will you keep these kids safe? And it's exactly when I'm directing a show and I

have an actor who's backseat directing and taking focus. I will pull them aside at some point and go, hey, can you help me with this younger actor? I could just use your help. And you learned this because it was done to you when your BACKATRECT. This to me, and he'd give me a job because can you make sure everyone has different color shirts? On Captain? It's perfect for him because Brent is like when we saw him

in his school performance last year. He's like the one who's like turning everyone on stage and being like, hey, we're going to like and he's like just giggling and wants to direct all the fun. Give him some responsibility. Yeah, anyway, I need to furnish my story in the bedroom. What happened with the pull up? So he said he was angry and I didn't explain why, and then he didn't want to put on the good night And then I

had a stroke a genius. I have a full story parts model, which is just distract find be something, be more interesting than the problem. And I said, all right, here's the deal, and I got real serious. I go, Britt, this is my final offer. Are you listening? He's like you suddenly he's intrigued, like if you put on the good Night, and only if you put on the good Night, I will take another good Night and I will put it on my head. And then he looked at me

and he tried not to smile. And I go, and I will go into mommy and Daddy's from where maybe and Mommy are, and I will dance in a circle while screaming I am daddy diaper head, and I will make fart noises. And I said, you better not be laughing, because this is what I'll do. And then he jumped out of bed and pulled off his jammies and his pull up and put on the good Night. And that's why I entered the room and said I was dandy diaper head, masterful. Did you piece that together when I

was dancing? Yes? I did pretty good? Right, pretty good worked? Um, I am daddy taper pants. This next segment is called We Don't Knows. It's where we share a perplexing parenting moment. You know what I don't know. I don't knows what to do at a five year old birthday party where I don't know anybody, and I am allowed. So Brand went to his his good friend from school's birthday party. Was exciting to be invited by a friend of his that I never met, a friend of his who I

have to say, I have to tell this story. Okay, So Bryn came home this week and he keeps quoting this kid from school, imitating him, and he goes, I'll follow him up back and I hit my face and he says it over and over again because apparently and last the circle, and then Mayven started copying him and saying it. He's just copying his friend at school. So obviously he has no context for what this means. And

we don't know what it's from. We don't. Please tell us if anyone knows, but this is his friend from school. And I was like, I was really worried because he was doing kind of like a black voice, and I was like, I don't. I'm like worried about what these kids are quoting and what's happening, and like, and we don't know who these kids are because we don't always

pick him up from school or see them. You were worried that our son was doing a culturally insensitive imitation of a thing he didn't understand, right, I was, I was like, what is he doing um. But then we found out that his friend is bi racial and half black, and I was like, I feel a little bit better knowing that he's just hanging out with a kid who's black and not like, who knows what he's quoting? I don't know, because but Britain doesn't know. I've asked him.

I was like, is this from something? He's like, No, that's just what my friend says. But it's like his friends catchphrase. Well, his friend is actually obviously very funny, like Vernon is very engaged by whatever is happening. Well, he's a very nice kid and he's got a very nice family. And we went we and by we, I mean me and Brand went to this pottery place. Same.

I had one of these birthdays when I was probably eight, where you go and they've got ceramic um things and you paint them and then they glaze and all that. Do you ever do that me for birthdays? Um? No, this is after my time? Did you do this for after your time? Where I grew up? This phenomenon is fairly recent. We didn't have this kind of thing. We had one grown up, but it was one of those when you're little you think it's the only one in the world where when I was growing up, I think

we had on when my sister was little. It was called plaster fun Time. Plaster fun time, but it was It didn't plaster fun time right now. But my little sister five years younger than me, she would get invited there for birthday parties, but not me. I didn't, even though you would crush it. No, it just didn't exist when I was of birthday party age. I want to remember the one that I grew up near, because I because I want to. Anyway, we went to plaster pottery

Alice fun Time. I don't remember what it's called. And I got there and I knew not a soult. And this is in many ways my worst nightmare, even even worse than your family watching my character reel at a family reunion. Um and I did a lot of standing in the corner, um, a lot of hovering over Brian, giving him far more advice than he wanted or needed. Um and I didn't. I didn't know how to engage with people. You were like, I gotta focus on this plaster.

I'm like, have you thought about this combination of colors? He picked a penguin bank, a plaster piggy bank that was a penguin, and he put every every color there wasn't it. I just want to say I went to a kid's birthday party a week before this with both of our kids, and I think I did better than you. Yes, I wasn't the most social, but I did make an attempt to talk to people I don't know better. Some

of them are more friendly than others. They got better over the night, but the beginning section where they're painting, everyone seemed to know somebody except for me. At one point birthday boys dad came over to me. It just goes like, hey, thanks so much for coming and I was like, oh, thanks for having me. And then I was like, you know the funny thing, and then he was off to the next person. I was like, well, I missed my one shot. So Section one was painting

a penguin. Section two, Part two that I do. You're dividing the party into sections. There were very clear there was a module party, Phase Phase one, Phase two, Session two dance party. They were go into the room, which is the big open room with with like shelves up to the ceiling with you know, unpainted ceramic figures, just asking for somebody to trip into the shelf and shatter all nine hundred of them, and they go, let's have

a five year old dance party in this room. And they turn out all the lights and there's a bubble machine and there's music, and suddenly it is a dance party and the kids go crazy. You know who the one kid was who had no interest in dancing, My son Brian McNerney. So Brand and I sat on the side like two losers at the dance and I was like trying to get him to I get up and like dance a little bit, and he was embarrassed by me, and then the limbo stick came out and he was

intrigued by that. He's so weird to me that you can't talk to people but you're totally fine dancing in front of them. Like well, I was texting with Lee from Story Parts early days of Story Fire two thousands. Name dropped Lee like five times in this episode. What can I say? He's my boss um And shocking how little I have mentioned him on this podcast until this point. But from two thousand six to two thousand nine at Story Pirates before you know, we did nine trillion birthday parties.

Before we are expanded into way more schools and bigger things, and boy, I know what it's like to be child. It's birthday've already entertainment. They can be super fun and they can also be the worst experiences ever when no one's in charge, when there's no parents just telling their child to pay attention to somebody. But I've done so many of those that I was texting with Lee during it and he jokingly said, you'd be more comfortable, you know,

performing for these kids. I'm like, yes, if somebody told me, hey, will you entertain these kids right now, I'd be infinitely more comfortable just taking control of the room and going, let's make up a story together. You want the teacher to make you the line leader? Yes? Why went? Why went?

Why wouldn't this seventeen year old Ceramic Pottery Palace employee party leader just pass me the baton because I will organize this limbo line because none of these kids are doing the limbo right and no one seems to care. They're they're they're ducking forward to crawl under the bar, and everyone's acting like that's okay, like they're not all instantly out. But the thing is, if we were at a family party and I was like, hey, Peter, can you just like get everyone going and like get do

this thing, like run a quick thing. You'd be like, no, I don't want to do that. Wait? Wait, what what is this scenario? If I asked you to like manage a party in this way, and I was like, can you just like take the focus and tell everyone what to do? And are you kidding me? You would do that in a secondly, if you told me, hey, will you go take care of cousin Eddie, he's awkward and needs someone to talk to you about it, I was like, can you go lead the limbo? Oh? Hell yeah, I'd

rather do that than do the limbo. Okay, well let's leave the limbo out of this limbo. It was so disappointing. One kid knew how the rules of limbo worked, didn't bother explaining it. Despite the I mean, these people were who had done they've done a million birthday parties. It was very efficient, it was very on time. They also knew that like, it's a losing battle to try to teach four and five year olds how to do the limbo properly. Instead of my mind, I'm like, you know, what,

that's fine. The dance party ended after some limbo. There was a congo line. There was a freeze game that this one kid, Henry, would not follow the rules. You never froze crazy kid. Light up, crazy Kid, the light of shoes, and then we had Pizza turn the lights back on, put the screen up back in the other room. A pizza e Cake got a goodie bag, his ceramic thing was done. We went home two hours perfect. It was pretty good. I just literally didn't learn a single

person's name. Now that our kids are older and we they're starting to catch on that other kids are getting birthday parties, we're gonna have to start trying. Where would you host a birthday party for a child? It's a good question. I know. I might go find one of those like bouncy places. Bouncy places, okay, yeah, you know one of those kid Jim's Discovery Zone esque. Yeah, someplace with a part. Now that I've been to one and I remember what they're like, I would do this place too. Honestly,

this place that I just went place two hours. It's just like they do birthday parties, so they do it for you. I like the two hour cut off, Like I guess that's how most kids parties are. It's like in and out. But what am I talking about? I would do a story Prit's birthday party. I have something the plug Tallie just hit like twenty for this episode. So many plugs. I would just pay a bunch. Is

there anything else we can plug while we're trike? Like Saturday's at the Magnet Theater nine o'clock reliably one of the best improv shows in the city, says The New York Times. I've literally plugged everything value Well, I can't wait to see the revenue roll in. Yeah. This next segment is called Listeners Want to Nose. It's where we share some questions and comments from you guys. Okay, so, just on the theme of this episode, which is shameless

self promotion. This is an email that references references Reductress. Um, I'm just gonna read it. This is from Rebecca, Hi, Beth, and Peter. This one is really for Beth. I love this podcast, huge fan of Reductress. I have a thirteen month old and I just found out I'm pregnant with a new nugget thirteen months Wow. I just quickly I want to plug. If you're looking for holiday gifts. You can go to shop dot reductress dot com. We have a selection of sweatshirts, hats, crop tops, all very funny.

Literally now, I'm like, what is there we haven't plugged that we could plug continue. I'm pregnant with a new nugget, just like just took out a positive pregnancy test a few days ago. So it's way too early to talk about this. WHOA, congratulations, but here I am kind of freaking out about my life choices. Um I just I just want to tell her quickly as she can pre order. There's no manual, honest and gory wisdom about having a baby. Yeah, you're you'll get the book before you get the baby.

Your kids also will be about the same distances Vernon Maven maybe one month sooner. They're twenty months apart. Twenty months apart, these will be Um, oh no, what am I talking about? I can't do math. It will be two months apart. Okay, go ahead, really anyway, um uh kind of freaking out blah blah. I read that. Great, you're kind of freaking out about my life choices and how the funk we're going to afford this? And O MG, it's gonna be a million months before I can enjoy

a glass of wine. But also I'm excited for what this chaotic future holds. So as happens, I have found myself launching up my Baby Center pregnancy tracker app. It can be comforting just to keep track of the weeks and be able to say baby is the size of a blah blah blah, currently assessme to sessame seed. However, there's a problem with these apps, which is that they're

terrible and patronizing, especially the second time around. I have no patience for diet tips quote ten foods to eat while pregnant can go funk itself, and a heteronormative platitudes. So where am I going with this? I certainly think the pregnancy the pregnant people of the world deserve a pregnancy tracker app that is woke, funny, sarcastic, real and inclusive. I am semi seriously asking you about if you would like to start a project like this or know someone

who might the Reductor's pregnancy tracker. I just got so excited about this idea and I had to try reaching out alternately. Maybe something in this realm already exists. If you think it does, please direct it to me. That would actually be much easier. I will try to write a more podcast friendly question. Sometimes this was perfect. Um, I realized it's a bit far fetched and not what you're hoping to find in your inbox. You're wrong, we're hoping to find this. Anyway. You're doing a great job

with parenting and generally kicking ass. Rebecca. It felt appropriate to read this given that we're plugging our things. I mean, the thing is, I just finished working on this book and I'm still what it feels like right now, I'm sort of at the pushing stage of delivering this book into the world, so I still feel pretty in it in terms of like looking forward to next projects. I also feel like, what's hard is you know, i have this podcast obviously about parenting, and then I've been working

on this pregnancy book for three years or whatever. I feel like I don't think I can take on another parenting related didn't the Tracker app, he's the book. The Tracker app is the book. Yeah, I mean the book has some you know, it has it talks about various stages of pregnancy and stuff like that. I talked about the size it about the size of your baby. There is a very old Reductress article. I feel like that is sort of like, congratulations, your baby at six weeks

is the size of a bed bug. And like we might have done more than one of those where we just had like gross like things, but it wasn't just not it didn't feel sustainable at the time as um uh a form of comedy to put out on the internet. Um, well, you've got one customer, Yeah, you do it. I wouldn't be surprised if there's something out there similar to what she's looking for, not as good as mine would be,

but yeah, I don't know. Um, all right, here's the here's another one that feels on theme for this episode, which I'm definitely going to call plugs. So we continue to get a lot of book recommendation emails, and I think we're going to have to do another episode where we do a bunch in a row. Well, it's something people probably want to know going into the holidays. It's true,

we'll do it. We'll do next week. I was I was talking to people because we've had a lot of birthday parties likely to go to, and I do really feel good about gifting a book. Yeah, it makes you look cool, and well, I just feel like no. My friends were talking about this because something. They were arguing whether you could just show up to a party without a gift if you're like broke or you just are exhausted by a consumerism, and I was saying, like, you're

the first reason you can. Well, I was like, that seems like a good idea. As a woman, I feel like I would be violently shamed for doing that, but I can understand the impulse. Um. But what I feel good about books is that there you could just throw them in the recycling bin, and we haven't, you know, I haven't given them a huge piece of plastic that

they have to like throwing the trash or keep forever grudgingly. Um, So this comes from jen book, Rex, Hi, I've been meaning to send you this email for three weeks now. My boys are currently listening to Frozen two and screaming at each other, so it seems like the perfect chance. Anyway. I love the book, Rex, and had one thing to add.

Whenever we read a children's book with princesses or really old fashioned stereotypical gender roles, I just pointed out, why does that princess have to sit around waiting for someone to rescue her, or why can't she do it herself? It's so boring. My seven year old now points out to me parts and books he's reading himself when genders are being represented unfairly. I love you guys, thanks for the great weekly podcast that always helps me get out

for my run. I'm excited for Beth's book, and I just signed up for the story part It's Creator Club, so hopefully people Peter will be sending us a message soon. Cheers, jen What a well timed plug. Wow, thank you jen Um. That's great that I I have friends who talked about doing that, like just go reading, pointing things out when it bothers them in books, and explaining to kids how they don't like um that the female characters don't get

to do anything. Yes, I try to oscillate between Ideally I want may Even, I mean both my kids, but I think about Mayven most when I see, you know, gender stereotypes in media. I feel like when Maven, I think she's a little too young to understand it, and I don't want to like, well, we watched snow White, and you know it's a very Spanking thirty nine or whatever, and snow White finds the Dwarfs house and no one's cleaned it, of course because there's not a woman in

the house. And she's like, wow, I got to clean it up, and and she's beloved, but of course they all see her as their mother, but they also like sort of lust for her, and so she's this woman that's has to be more complex, that's what you're referring to. The you go and you know, her cleaning, and it's very clear she says something that's like don't they have a mother or I don't know what it was, and I saw maybe I was like, I don't want maybe to hear that, even you know, even in the car,

you know. So that's the thirties when we were kids, you know, Beauty and the Beast. There's Gaston who's like, a woman should be married, that's what they're good for. And then all those women that love Gaston like he's and then she's she's like, I don't want that. And even that, I'm like, I don't want Maven to see that's a normal thing, even though they're rebelling against it. You know, I want to see the I wanted the majority of the media she sees, where just there's characters

that are beyond that. I think what would be more important is if she saw her dad vacuuming. You don't don't act like a vacuum. I have vacuumed recently. Vacuum. We pay somebody to vacuum, Okay, but I also vacuum. Yeah. Well, She's My point is, I don't think like a one off movie viewing when a kid is like, what is this weird old movie? Like, they're not internalized that nearly as much as like the things that they consume every

day or the way their parents behave around them. Sure, sure that that's the more, much more important thing that I do, because all of those things is cooked in and take her to school and have her cook meals with me, and do laundry and wipe her butt and wipe her butt and teacher how to wipe her own butt and do her pigtails and buy our Maxi pads and why, oh my god, oh god, I'm going to do that. And that's great, and that's awesome, But I just that's the first time I ever thought about that.

That's a thing that's going to happen and it's great and I'll proudly do it. Um. But I think you're right, jen Um that I think it's going to come up and it is good to go. Hey, that's silly. Yeah. I think when Ven's a little bit older, I in it out more. And Bryn. I think Bryn is a good age to Yeah, Bryan, I could. He's not really watching that movie. He's not like, he's too busy watching too busy watching things where guys punch each other. Alright,

let's email you right for this. Yeah, this comes to us from Susan potty training Help. Hello, Beth and Peter. I've written to you guys before about quote unquote keeping it sexy. Thanks for the advice, and now that the baby is now nine months and slightly less needy, we have a little bit more sexy time, but not much hot. You'll have to go back to that episode to know what we're talking about. I'm writing to you about my three year old daughter in our continued potty training battle.

We have been trying off and on since she turned to She turned three in August, and we still we're still no closer to being potty trained. We've tried all the tricks she doesn't care about my bribes or rewards. She doesn't care about her friends, therefore that her friends use the potty. She doesn't want to be a big girl. I really do think she's ready, though she tells me to change her after she goes. With Christmas coming, we told her we had to send her diapers to Santa

in order for him to come. We made a big deal of wrapping up the diapers and sending them to Santa. She picked out new one Dy's and quote unquote potty prizes. She was on board until the day actually came. Day one, she had two accidents. Day two one accident, and finally went on the potty who Day three held it all day. It was clearly uncomfortable, but despite sitting several times, never went till she we relented at eight pm and put a pull up on her. I don't know what to do.

I feel like a complete failure and also so angry, like just be in the fucking party. Excuse me. Oh. In the past, after a few bad days of trying, we would take a few weeks break, but I absolutely refuse to put a diaper on her. Ever again, I'm not sure where to go from here. I'm all out of ideas. Please help. Happy thanksgivings, Susan. Okay, so boy, we're getting over these colds people. I don't have a cold.

I'm getting over this cold. Um. So it's not that I don't think you should try to potty train, but I do think sometimes some kids just aren't ready for certain transitions, and I feel like we overprescribe timelines so I can understand her. Like I think, if you, as a parent, are so sick of changing diapers that you're like losing your mind, then feel free to push it as hard as you want, I guess on a three

year old, like you're the only one suffering. But I also think, like if it's not happening, you don't have to make yourself feel like a failure. You can take a few weeks off and try again, like you know what, Like I don't. Yeah, well it's there's one there's no right way, there's no right time. But also like you see to be at this point where like I'm not putting a diaper out you It's been more days since you sent this email, so I'm curious how it is now.

But in our experience, you know, you you get ready for a week, I don't know, to get the job done. Both of our kids have been very different with this sort of thing. For example, our son is still peeing through his pull up every single night. While I mean, that's a different but he's he has been on a different timeline than Maven for a lot of things. Yes, he is a stubborn kid. He's set in his ways, and I just don't think change comes easy to him

with certain things. Whereas like mavens a younger kid, she sees him pe and the potty every day. She jumped on board with it way more quickly. She because, yeah, the ball is in her court in that you know, desire drives learning, and she always wants to be in the game. She wants to be a big kid, and so it was her energy and desire to do this thing,

whereas Brent had no reason to want to change. When you have a baby, the older kid regresses and you don't, like, I don't think you really know how long that regression is going to take, or how it's going to manifest, or you know what I mean. Like sometimes I think, especially when you have two little kids, like you just need to roll with the punches and do what you

gotta do. And if anyone judges you for like letting your kids sleep in your bed or do whatever you have to do to get through the day, that's those people are not living in your reality. So I'm like, I just want to make sure this person knows that it's not a horrible thing if their kid needs a

diaper a little longer. You know, it's yeah, but it's also fine to be losing your ship because you're like, I'm not putting a diaper on you again, ride that if you're willing to deal with the accidents and everything, give it a week. But I do think like if you push too hard on something, you create a shame around the peeing and the diaper, and then you might create a bigger problem than you had in the first place. Whereas if you just like layoff for a week or more,

they might come around to it, you know what I mean. Like, the thing I am excited about, not excited about it, that I'm feeling good about with Britain and all this is that we've kept it light. I'm like, hey, let's try this until tonight when you were arguing, arguing with them about the good nights. Just yeah, that was stupid.

You're right, I probably foot down on that. But but but the like going back to the pull ups and whenever he wet his bed, I never like, I'm never going to show him my frustration in past during potty training. I definitely did at times, and I tried really hard to just when like an accident is happening, You're like, no, no, no, no. The more build up, the more exciting you try to

make it, and the more whatever that can have the opposite. Yeah, you don't want to make it feel like it's like this huge enormous change, Like it's sort of it feels like an insurmountable obstacle if you're building it up too much. Um. But then again, all of those things sometimes work for different kids. That like we're counting down to the day is a great tactic for a certain kid. So you don't know. So yeah, I don't never beat yourself up

for trying something that didn't work. It's not a bad idea to prepare them and be like, pretty soon we're going to have no more pull ups or no more diapers or whatever. It's not horrible. I'm just saying, if it's like we had a potty training attempt with Brand that was a total disaster when he was like too,

when Maven was a month old or something. Ye, Maven was really little, and it was just a total disaster, and we gave up and we put it off, and I'm glad we did because I had to put quickly drop an infant baby, not drop, but placed, I like placed Maven on the floor to grab Brand to take him to the bathroom. She definitely wasn't a month well. She was so small that it's like she was a wrapped up baby. And I had literally at one point put her on the carpet so I could grab Brand

and take him to the bathroom. Okay, And that was a daster and we gave up. So what I'm saying is that you should not feel bad about all the things you've tried they didn't work because you don't know, you don't know what kind of kid do you have. Yeah, it turns out you have a shitty kid like us. You just you know, chances are you got a shitty kid, because they're all they're all pretty shitty. No, I think

that's like very normal. I just think when you look back, when you're going to look back on your life, and try to remember what you're your kid potty trained, whether it was two or three or whatever, You're not really going to remember, and it's it feels important in the moment because you're like, my kids friends are potty trained, blah blah blah. Yeah, doesn't really matter. And I was like, boy, if you'd asked me this question three years ago, i'd

haven't I'd have an answer, But it goes so quickly. Oh, you know what, just I'm sure we talked about it in some episode. I'm sure we talked about in some episode and this was one of them. And this has been another episode of We Knows Parenting. If you'd like to reach out, you can email us and We Knows Pod we knows Pot at gmail dot com. I just forgot the email address. I forgot the name of the book. Um. You can also my friends, you can send us a voicemail.

You have that number of Beth you think one of us. You can leave us a voicemail at three four seven three for seven three nine six. Please uh leave us to a review on a rating. Subscribe subscribe. You can find us on social media Facebook, Twitter, Instagram at we Knows Pod. Pre order Bets book there's no manual story parts. Creator Club trick at the Magnet Theater, Watch the Tonight show on Thursday Night, Reductress dot com and Bess audiobook and then her Reductress Card game in February. Did I

get them all? Also watch my character and we'll see you next time.