On this week's episode, the gang gets all dolled up in their best tuxedos and terrible hair pieces to chat about the 1983 (unofficial) Bond film, Never Say Never Again ! Could they not pony up the extra dough for the traditional shoot at the camera opening? Why bother trying to make Bond clean and sober? And did Blofeld really invent YouTube? PLUS: James Bond just loves cold Burger King. Never Say Never Again stars Sean Connery, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Max von Sydow, Barbara Carrera, Rowan Atkins...
Nov 03, 2015•1 hr 38 min•Season 6Ep. 223
On this spooktacular edition of On-Screen , the gang ranks the entire Friday the 13th franchise from best to worst! Going off of Chris Cabin's column on Collider, Andrew, Steve, and Eric go through their favorite entries and most hated sequels one by one! When trying to sum up some of these films, Steve puts it best with, "It's like, oh, would you rather eat dog shit or cow shit?" Find out which shit sequels we find most delicious! And be sure to check back with Collider.com for more Chris Cabin...
Oct 30, 2015•47 min
On this episode of Animation Damnation , the gang keeps things spooktacular as they rip into the terribly ill-conceived cartoon adaptation, Beetlejuice ! The episode in question is entitled, "Laugh of the Party", which originally aired October 7th, 1989. Why is Beetlejuice flying everywhere? What's with setting up this preteen girl with a monster? And will this be the only time Jeffrey Jones is turned into a cartoon? PLUS: The guys weigh in on the probability of Beetlejuice 2 being terrible. Sho...
Oct 29, 2015•28 min
On this episode, the 2015 Halloween Spooktacular wraps up as the gang takes a bite out of the lame Stephen King (or should we say Richard Bachman?) adaptation, Thinner ! Why wasn't Stephen King's character cursed as well? We get the motivation for the Thinner curse, but what inspired Lizard? And why did we need that dream sequence? PLUS: The gang gets ripped at a New Jersey Medieval Times. Thinner stars Robert John Burke, Joe Mantegna, Kari Wuhrer, and Lucinda Jenney; directed by Tom Holland. Un...
Oct 27, 2015•1 hr 26 min•Season 6Ep. 222
On this edition of WHM Mail Bag , the gang makes contact with long lost co-host, Chris Cabin, to talk about strange New York City stories, pervs hanging around libraries, and different movie advertisements that freaked us out. PLUS: Eric vs. Al Roker in a Loser Leaves Town Match! If you'd like your strange stories told on the air, or have burning questions for the guys you need answered, write in to the Mail Bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehate...
Oct 26, 2015•38 min
This week on the 2015 WHM Spooktacular, it's Franchise Time as the gang heads to Crystal Lake by way of Springwood to challenge the long awaited 2003 monster team-up, Freddy vs. Jason ! Why do they insist on reminding us about Freddy and Jason's backstories? How do they not capitalize on any previously existing supporting characters in either franchise? And how do you have the audacity to recast Kane Hodder? PLUS: That sure is a whole lot of homophobia and racism, screenplay! Freddy vs. Jason st...
Oct 20, 2015•1 hr 34 min•Season 6Ep. 221
On this week's episode, our Halloween Spooktacular turn steps, hop turns and high kicks into week two with the totally sleazy Killer Workout ! Are there secret deleted porn scenes from this film? How did Rhonda's Workout not get shut down by the police? And why was there never a Chuck Dawson prequel film franchise? PLUS: It's a sheets-up kind of aerobics studio! Killer Workout stars Marcia Karr, David James Campbell, Fritz Matthews, Teresa Van der Woude and Ted Prior; directed by David A. Prior....
Oct 13, 2015•1 hr 13 min•Season 6Ep. 220
On this week's episode, the 2015 Halloween Spooktacular kicks off in rare form as the WHM gang tackles Brainscan ! Did they really think Trickster was going to be the next Freddy or Pinhead? Why do the rules of this game change every time Furlong plays? And had he lived, would Kyle have been Michael's best bud for life? PLUS: That fat guy was definitely not a foot tattoo guy! Brainscan stars Edward Furlong, Frank Langella, Amy Hargreaves, Jamie Marsh, and T. Ryder Smith; directed by John Flynn. ...
Oct 06, 2015•1 hr 32 min•Season 6Ep. 219
On the second and final episode of September's all-request Animation Damnation , the guys head back to Joe Town with an episode of G.I. Joe that explores the exciting highs and tragic lows of Cobra's financial woes! The episode in question is "Cold Slither" which originally aired December 2nd, 1985. Why is Cobra Commander getting financial advice from those weird twins? Did the entire Cobra army think it was a good idea to hit the unemployment line at the same time? And we'll be damned if that t...
Sep 30, 2015•34 min
On this week's episode, Listener Request Month comes to a close as the gang makes a deal with the world's shortest Satan -- it's The Devil's Advocate ! Why does the movie bother having a big reveal scene at the end when we know the entire time that Pacino is the Devil? What is up with Keanu's southern accent? And were all those "paint brush wipe" transitions really necessary? PLUS: Yes, in the late 90s we all thought this film had Oscar-caliber performances in it! The Devil's Advocate stars Kean...
Sep 29, 2015•1 hr 37 min•Season 6Ep. 218
This month on the WHM Mail Bag , we chat about some of the worst jobs we've ever had, what some of our favorite moments from The Simpsons are, and one listener writes in to tell us about the most extreme way to avoid admitting you cried during a crappy movie! If you want your questions answered or weird stories read on the air, write in to the Mail Bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies...
Sep 24, 2015•23 min
On this week's episode, Listener Request Month rolls on as the gang takes a trip to foggy San Francisco for a ride along with Dirty Harry Callahan in the super silly, super murder-y The Dead Pool ! What's with the useless C-grade mafia story line? Has there ever been another instance of a ponytail being used as a red herring? And were they really trying to tell us that Johnny Squares wrote "Welcome to the Jungle" and sang exactly like Axl Rose? PLUS: Dirty Harry fights zombies, joking robots and...
Sep 22, 2015•1 hr 34 min•Season 6Ep. 217
As the new Listener Request Month rolls on, the gang heads to the Land of Made for Television to discuss the totally creepy, porn panic Lifetime Movie, Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life ! What's with starting this film like it's Sunset Boulevard ? How does Justin forget to close that door multiple times? And what's with that porno party? PLUS: Someone saying, "Green Day rules," in 2005? Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life stars Jeremy Sumpter, Kelly Lynch, Lyndsy Fonseca, John Robinson and Nicole Di...
Sep 15, 2015•1 hr 31 min•Season 6Ep. 216
On the season premiere of Animation Damnation , the gang takes a look at an off-the-wall episode of Speed Racer where a grown man rides around on horseback whipping cars in his town. The episode in question is "The Car Hater" which originally aired December 15th, 1967. Why are these hillbillies immediately ready to murder Speed and Trixie? What good does this horse-riding lunatic think he's doing? And where are the triple life sentences for all of these criminals by the end of this rampage? PLUS...
Sep 10, 2015•33 min
On the season six premiere of We Hate Movies, the gang kicks off an all-new Listener Request Month with a title that is, in the loosest sense of the word, a movie - Mortal Kombat: Annihilation ! What is with the instant Johnny Cage murder? How did the producer's let Christopher Lambert get away? And why, oh why, did we need these robots running around? PLUS: Your mom's new boyfriend would be real creepy if he was played by James Remar. Mortal Kombat: Annihilation stars Robin Shou, Talisa Soto, J...
Sep 08, 2015•1 hr 21 min•Season 6Ep. 215
Original Air Date: February 7th, 2012 What the gang thought of the film: "I convinced myself I liked this movie for five years." - Steve Sajdak "We just watched it…I can’t tell you what this movie’s about!" - Andrew Jupin "He’s nothing but goddamn sight gags. He’s always just falling over himself. How is that a leader?" - Eric Szyszka on Jar Jar Binks' unearned promotion at the end of the film. Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace stars Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Jake Lloy...
Sep 01, 2015•1 hr 33 min
Original Air Date: December 11th, 2012 What the gang thought of the film: "If you're Jewish, run from this film... Run screaming!" - Chris Cabin "Why just play one role in a movie, Adam Sandler, when you can play several roles in a movie?" - Andrew Jupin "It's just a bunch of shit jokes." - Steve Sajdak Eight Crazy Nights stars Adam Sandler, Kevin Nealon, Jon Lovitz, Austin Stout, Jackie Sandler and Sweet Robbie Schneider; directed by Seth Kearsley. Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon....
Aug 25, 2015•1 hr 16 min
Original Air Date: November 8th, 2011 What the gang thought of the film: "He’s just a big turd in this movie" - Steve Sajdak, on Rob Schneider's presence in the film. "It’s the biggest codpiece I’ve ever seen!" - Andrew Jupin, on, well, Stallone's codpiece. "It’s on them when I empty my bowels as I’m hung. Load me up with Taco Bell? I win!" - Eric Szyszka, on being executed in the Demolition Man future. Judge Dredd stars Sylvester Stallone, Rob Schneider, Diane Lane, Armand Assante, Jürgen Proch...
Aug 18, 2015•1 hr 22 min
Original Air Date: December 4th, 2012 What the gang thought of the film: "If anyone can handle a Fuck You, it's George Lucas." - Andrew Jupin "They should've just... Not done it." Eric Szyszka "It's definitely The Gobbler who's to blame for this, I feel." - Chris Cabin "What happened? Did life get in the way?" - Steve Sajdak on why they didn't crank out five Indy films in the 80s as originally planned. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull stars Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Karen ...
Aug 11, 2015•1 hr 26 min
Original Air Date: May 14th, 2014 What the gang thought of this cartoon episode: "You wanna give Ed Harris a heart attack, this is how you do it." - Chris Cabin "There's no fat G.I. Joes, huh?" - Steve Sajdak "Uh, it takes place in America!" - Andrew Jupin Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies
Aug 06, 2015•42 min
Original Air Date: May 22nd, 2012 What the gang thought of the film: "This movie is about an ice cream fight!" - Steve Sajdak "That means this pain in the ass kid is officially homeless, which means it's either the orphanage or the fucking gas chamber!" - Andrew Jupin "I'm sure, at the very least, that pirate hasn't been paying taxes!" - Eric Szyszka The New Adventures of Pippi Longstocking stars Tami Erin, David Seaman, Cory Crow, Eileen Brennan, Dennis Dugan, George DiCenzo, and Dick Van Patte...
Aug 04, 2015•1 hr 30 min
Recorded live at the Lily Pad in Cambridge, Massachusetts - March 21st, 2015 On the WHM season finale, the guys are in Cambridge to talk about one of the absolute worst comic book movies on record, 2011's Green Lantern ! How many times did we need to see Hal Jordan's dad burst into flames? Why did Abin Sur think Hal was the right man for the job out of the billions of people on the planet? And what was up with Hector Hammond and all that sauerkraut? PLUS: Extended discussion about the Flash, his...
Jul 28, 2015•1 hr 19 min•Season 5Ep. 214
On the penultimate episode of the 2015 Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza, the gang tackles possibly the worst adaptation of Alan Moore's work yet, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen ! Why does Mr. Hyde look like a giant man-ape? What's with Dorian Gray being such a sleaze? And who in their right mind was asking for Tom Sawyer?! PLUS: The gang bids a fond, if temporary, farewell to one of their own. The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen stars Sean Connery, Naseeruddin Shah, Peta Wilson, Tony Cur...
Jul 21, 2015•1 hr 45 min•Season 5Ep. 213
On this special edition of WHM Mail Bag , Andrew and Eric take a look at a selection of letters from summer camp! Well, not actually from a summer camp, but the letters are about some insane summer camp experiences! This is the last Mail Bag of the season, gang, so head into the woods and proceed with caution -- some of these stories are OUT there! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies...
Jul 17, 2015•32 min
As the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza winds down, the gang tackles the worst part of one of the biggest movie franchises, The Matrix Revolutions ! Why did they think it was a good idea to have all sorts of important story elements play out in video games no one wanted? Did we need to meet this many members of Dozer's family? And what's with all the sex clubs? PLUS: The one who owns all the Sunglass Hut franchises in the Matrix is truly The One. The Matrix Revolutions stars Keanu Reeves, Laurenc...
Jul 14, 2015•1 hr 33 min•Season 5Ep. 212
On the season finale of Animation Damnation , the gang's all here to analyze the horrendous social inequality in Disney's DuckTales ! How were the ducks allowed to take so much power over the dogs and the nearly extinct pigs? Why did those little ducks think starting a massive fire in a dirigible was a good idea? And what was with that duck mummy? PLUS: The guys all try on Huey, Dewey, and Louie impressions! Unlock Exclusive Content!: http://www.patreon.com/wehatemovies...
Jul 10, 2015•35 min
On this week's episode, the Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza rolls on with the dragon-packed, action-packed, buddy comedy, DragonHeart ! What is the accent Quaid is spitting out here? What's with the dragon flap that Connery keeps flipping open? And is this knight the best hero we could get? PLUS: We all know that if you find a dragon heart, you eat it immediately. DragonHeart stars Dennis Quaid, Sean Connery, David Thewlis, Dina Meyer, Brian Thompson and Julie Christie; directed by Rob Cohen. Un...
Jul 07, 2015•1 hr 42 min•Season 5Ep. 211
Our Summer Blockbuster Extravaganza rolls on as we take a look at a pretty silly sequel, 2003's Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines ! How lame is it to have Sarah Connor die from leukemia instead of going out in a blaze of glory like she deserves to? What's with all the lame comedy - including "Talk to the hand!" - peppered throughout this film? And how did we not figure out a way to get Robert Patrick in this movie? PLUS: Give it a rest with that boob joke! Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines sta...
Jun 30, 2015•1 hr 34 min•Season 5Ep. 210
On this edition of WHM Mail Bag the gang reads emails from people recalling strange tales of movie theater creeps during bad Eastwood movies, hilarious run-ins with the legendary Pat Hingle, and one listener who allowed Stealth to be a loose acquaintance's last film on this earth. PLUS: Eric & Andrew shun Roy Scheider's widow. If you have a strange story, odd tale or total creep-out yarn you want us to read on the air, write in to the WHM Mail Bag: weallhatemovies@gmail.com! Unlock Exclusive...
Jun 29, 2015•28 min
On this episode of Animation Damnation, Steve's brother Mark drops by and the gang gets completely turned around in the world of Pokémon ! Admitting up front to nothing less than complete ignorance to the franchise, the guys raise questions like, what happens when a pokémon loses? Does it die? How come some pokémon can talk and some cannot? Why are those two boys attracted to that ghost? Do pokémon have individual rights? PLUS: The power of Christ compels you, Ghastly! Unlock Exclusive Content!:...
Jun 26, 2015•37 min
