Tell us a story. Smoke some PCP laced weed. Save a girl from being raped. Kill a drug dealer and try to avoid getting your shit pushed in, because King Kong ain’t got shit on us. It is our pleasure to recommend to you this week, Antoine Fuqua’s American crime thriller, Training Day (2001). Clips From: Training Day
Spend the winter with 12 men in Antartica. Lob thermite grenades at a dog. Test the blood of your co-workers to see if they've been assimilated by an alien life form. Grab a flamethrower and burn anyone who's acting weird, because there's a fucking alien amongst you and he wants you all dead. Like an arsonist in a Zippo factory we're super excited to recommend to you this week, for the 5th and final installment of our 2nd annual Horrorfest, John Carpenter's sci-fi horror film, The Thing (1982). ...
Treat your girlfriend like shit after the death of her entire family. Begrudgingly invite her on a trip to Sweden. Don’t console her after watching people jump off a cliff to their deaths. Drink some hallucinogenic tea and then fuck a young Swedish girl, because we have a bear suit to wear to a Pagan summer ritual. It is with callous indifference that we recommend to you this week for our 4th installment of our 2nd Annual Horrorfest, Ari Aster’s Pagan horror thriller, Midsommar (2019). Clips fro...
Break your leg falling off your roof. Let your wife get kidnapped by Indigenous Cannibals. Form a posse to go rescue her. Shoot who or whatever rings the tripwire bells and watch a man get ripped in half, because you’ve got a wife to save. It is with diabolical delight that we recommend to you this week for our 3rd installment of our 2nd annual Horrorfest, S. Craig Zahler’s horror western, Bone Tomahawk (2015). Clips from: Bone Tomahawk
Wake up from a coma. Aimlessly wander around London looking for people. Blow up a petrol station. Change a flat tire and then take a scenic drive out into the country, because zombies have overtaken England and your days are fucking numbered. It is with diabolical delight that we recommend to you this week Danny Boyle's post-apocalyptic zombie thriller, 28 Days Later (2002). Clips from: 28 Days Later, Tropic Thunder & Wham!
Get together with a bunch of friends. Spend the weekend at some creepy ass cabin in the woods. Peruse through the contents of an old ass basement. Read some sentences written in Latin from a dusty old diary, then go have sex in the forrest because before the nights out you're going to be murdered by some Zombie Redneck Torture Family. It is with ghoulish delight that we recommend to you this week, to kick off our 2nd Annual Horrorfest, Drew Goddard's horror comedy, The Cabin In The Woods (2011)....
Hitch a ride on a stagecoach. Brave a blizzard in Mini's Haberdashery with seven nefarious individuals. Kill an old racist Confederate General. Trust no one and definitely don't drink the coffee, because someone's poisoned it and is trying to free Daisy. It is with devious delight that we kickoff our second season by recommending to you Quentin Tarantino's western thriller, The Hateful Eight (2015). Clips from: The Hateful Eight
Hire a one-eyed Marshall to hunt down the man who killed your father. Don't let a Texas Ranger kiss you while you sleep. Promise to bury a man properly once he's dead. Watch two men try to out do one another by skeet shooting cornbread and beware of rattlesnakes because you're on the hunt for your father's killer. It is with true pride that we recommend to you this week the Coen Brother's revenge western thriller, True Grit (2010) Clips from: True Grit
Survive a horrific train accident. Intimidate a camo trench coat wearing man to step out of line. Bench a shit ton of weight. Touch a bunch of strangers at a train station and choke a man to death because we have to figure out if we really are a superhero. It is our pleasure to recommend to you this week M. Night Shymalan’s superhero thriller, Unbreakable (2000). Clips from: Unbreakable, Quentin Tarantino HD & Touchstone Pictures.
Get arrested for robbing the United States Depository. Make a deal to find the President in exchange for a full pardon. Fly a glider undetected into Manhattan. Avoid the Crazies and kill a giant in a sadistic death match because we have a President to save and some neck explosives to deactivate. It is our pleasure to recommend to you this week John Carpenter's sci-fi action thriller, Escape From New York (1981). Clips from: Escape From New York, Entertainment Weekly & Cinema In St. Louis.
Take the clothes from a dead hooker. Pickup unsuspecting men on the streets of Scotland. Lure them with the prospect of sex into a dilapidated building. Lead them into a black liquid and feed them to an interdimensional alien being because we have some motorcycle sociopaths to runaway from. It is our pleasure to recommend to you this week Johnathan Glazer's sci-fi thriller, Under The Skin (2014). Clips from: Under The Skin, Movieclips & A24
Send a final message home to your family. Start to loose your mind starring at the sun. Deviate from your mission to checkout a nearby distress signal. Blast you and some fellow crew members out into space to get back to your ship and then avoid the naked sunburned lunatic because we have sun to reignite. Bask in the terrifying sci-fi horror glory of this weeks recommendation from Dan Boyle, Sunshine (2007). Clips from: Sunshine
Get thrown out of an alien ship. Survive an ambush of alien dogs. Stay away from the rapist. Free an OG Predator and use a samurai sword to duel a Super Predator, because we need to get off this fucking planet. It is with great pride that we recommend to you this week Nimrod Antal’s sci-fi thriller, Predators (2010). Clips from: Predators
Save a young girl from being raped and murdered. Shoot a pedophile's dick off. Cut the arms and legs off of the man who killed the love of your life. Get a new face and shove some abusive asshole's head into a piss filled toilet, because we've got a dead cop's body we need to make disappear. It is with unbridled joy that we recommend to you this week Robert Rodriquez and Frank Miller's neo-noir crime anthology, Sin City (2005). Clips from: Sin City & Trouble Maker Studios
*It is our pleasure to present to you our review and recommendation for the following new release* A truffle hunter who lives alone in the Oregonian wilderness must return to his past in Portland in search of his beloved foraging pig after she is kidnapped in Michael Sarnoski’s Cagetastic dramatic thriller, Pig (2021). Clips From: Pig
Get into a fight in a moving car. Whip an East German cop in the dick with an extension cord. Have sex with a French spy. Stab a KGB agent in the throat with a cork screw and kill a bunch more in a slow motion shoot out, because we have a top secret list to find. It is with neon infused ecstasy that we recommend to you this week David Leitch's spy action thriller, Atomic Blonde (2017). Clips from: Atomic Blonde, Sprint & Regal Cinemas.
Go to the store for milk. Ask a complete stranger to let you into their apartment to save your life from a psychotic DEA Agent. Learn the ways of the cleaner. Attempt to get revenge for the death of your little brother and hope like hell your mentor saves your ass, because we've got a score to settle with the dirtbags that murdered your whole family. It is with psychopathic glee that we recommend to you this week Luc Besson's cult classic action thriller, The Professional (1994). Clips from: The...
Go to a Sonny Chiba triple feature for your birthday. Marry a call girl. Kill her pimp. Run off to Hollywood to sell a suitcase full of cocaine and get into a shootout with some cops and the mob, because you and your new wife have a brand new life to start. It's most definitely not white boy day but we're still super fucking pumped to recommend to you this week Tony Scott's modern day Bonnie & Clyde crime thriller, True Romance (1993). Clips from: True Romance, Reservoir Dogs & Some Guy ...
Loan a stranger money. Teach him how to take advantage of a Casino. Set him up with a cocktail waitress and part time hooker. Help him out of a jam on his wedding night and send him to Niagara Falls for his honeymoon because we need him out of town so we can shut Jimmy’s big mouth. It is with genuine pleasure that we recommend to you this week Paul Thomas Anderson’s American crime film, Hard Eight (1996). Clips from: Hard Eight & Some Guy In A Trench Coat....
Follow the cheating wife of your client and her lover to a motel. Give the pictures of their affair to your client. Agree to murder them for him for ten grand. Steal the cheating wife’s gun and make him think you killed them because you’re a double crossing son of a bitch. It is with devious pride that we recommend to you this week the Coen Brother’s neo-noir crime film, Blood Simple (1984). Clips from: Blood Simple, Turner Movie Classics, Some Guy In A Trench Coat & Once Upon A Time In Holl...
Do whatever it takes to get on TV. Blow an older man in the business at a convention. Work for nothing doing the weather at a local TV station. Seduce the younger male subject of a documentary you're making and then manipulate them into killing your condescending husband, because no one will get in your way of being a famous TV personality. It is with sadistic joy that we recommend to you this week Gus Van Sant's black comedy crime film, To Die For (1995). Clips from: To Die For & Some Guy I...
Shoot a man surrendering in the neck. Find an Iraqi ass map. Make an explosive nerf football. Blow up a milk truck and steal millions of dollars worth of Kuwaiti bullion, because we have some Iraqi refugees to escort to safety. It is our genuine pleasure to recommend to you this week David O. Russell’s satirical war film, Three Kings (1999). Clips from: Three Kings & Nerf.
Do karate in your underwear. Fall in love with the smell of napalm in the morning. Never get out of the boat. Remember that Charlie doesn’t surf and always use the Roach to dispose of some shit talking VC, because we’ve got a rogue colonel’s command to terminate with extreme prejudice. We are super fucking pumped to recommend to you this week Francis Ford Coppola’s psychological Vietnam War masterpiece, Apocalypse Now (1979). Clips from: Apocalypse Now
Kill a Nazi on a horse with a knife. Run some Nazi's in a trench over with your tank. Blow a hole in a Nazi prisoner with a revolver. Obliterate some Nazi's in a basement with a tank round and then burn some other Nazi bastards to death with a phosphorus grenade, because we have to get to a crossroads and prepare to kill a whole shit ton more of Nazi's. It is with giddy Nazi killing joy that we recommend to you this week David Ayer's American war film, Fury (2014). Clips from: Fury, Two Tube &am...
Survive the bloodiest single day of war in American History. Be selected to lead the first all black regiment in the US Army. Set a Georgian town on fire. Defeat a Confederate advance and volunteer for a suicide mission, because we have a war to win. As we kick of War MAYmorial it is our honor to recommend to you this week Edward Zwick's historical war drama, Glory (1989). Clips from: Glory & Some Guy In A Trench Coat.
Sing a song to your girl friend whose stranded in the snow. Go to the scene where her severed head is found. Take 2 weeks off from work. Track down the man believed to be responsible for her murder and plant a bug on him because we have some brutal vengeance to exact on him. For Matt’s 5th and final recommendation of his never ending birthday celebration he emphatically recommends to you Kim Jee-won’s brutal action thriller, I Saw The Devil (2010). Clips from: I Saw The Devil, Some Guy In A Tren...
Breath deeply with a plastic bag over your head. Count backwards. Buy a ball-peen hammer. Infiltrate an underage sex ring and bash every motherfucking pedophile's head in, because we have a young girl to save. For Matt's 4th birthday celebration recommendation, he humbly recommends to you this week Lynne Ramsey’s psychological thriller, You Were Never Really Here (2017). Clips from: You Were Never Really Here, BFI & Some Guy In A Trench Coat.
*It is our pleasure to present to you our review and recommendation for the following new release* As the world searches for a cure to a disastrous virus, a scientist and park scout venture deep in the forest for a routine equipment run. Through the night, their journey becomes a terrifying voyage through the heart of darkness, the forest coming to life around them in Ben Wheatley’s psychedelic horror film, In The Earth (2021). Clips From: In The Earth, IGN & Sundance.
Visit a protein farm. Find the remains of a woman who died in child birth. Have a romantic relationship with a holographic AI woman. Drop an air strike on some scavengers and track down Rick Deckard because we have a missing child to find. For Matt's 3rd birthday celebration recommendation he joyfully recommends to you this week Denis Villeneuve's Neo-noir sci-fi film, Blade Runner 2049 (2017). Clips from: Blade Runner 2049, The Hollywood Reporter & Some Guy In A Trench Coat.
Grab your audio recording equipment. Save a woman from drowning. Discover a high level coverup. Get cheap head from a prostitute in a phone booth but don't brush your teeth in a train station bathroom because we have an assassination to solve. For Matt's 2nd birthday celebration recommendation he proudly recommends to you this week Brian De Palma's Neo-noir mystery thriller, Blow Out (1981). Clips from: Blow Out
