War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7) - podcast cover

War and Peace in just 7 years (WAPIN7)

Will & Stevewapin7.com

The world's biggest and most ridiculous War and Peace podcast. British comedians Will and Steve do battle with the greatest book of all time.

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Episodes

S7E6. Supernatural Cork Kisses - Book 7 Finale!

GHOSTS, WITCHES, CLOWNS, BEARS as well as the HUMAN BEAN - we've got it all this week, as we descend deep into hell for this final episode of Book 7. You didn't expect it, we certainly didn't expect it, but yes - it's the end (already!) of the Book. But if we're going, we're going in style: dinner - yes, kissing - check, chit chat with other worldly spirits - absolutely. So dry your tears, put your toys back in the pram, grab a bowl of jelly and join Will, Steve and the actual devil to say sayon...

Feb 09, 202359 minSeason 7Ep. 99

S7E5. The Oats Don't Lie

It is rumoured that Shakira wrote her global smash hit single after being inspired by a perfect bowl of oats. The, now infamous, story goes that Shakira was so moved by the oats that she demanded a harp was bought to the table so she could express her joy and appreciation through music. Upon completion of the song; she triumphantly held her bowl of half eaten oats aloft and announced to the stars, "Don't you see, baby, this is perfection?!" Absolutely none of that is true. How and why does this ...

Jan 26, 202354 minSeason 7Ep. 98

S7E4. Do You Bala-Like It?

You know the old saying: Hunt hard, play hard . And boy have we hunted hard. Drop your crop, hang your horn, and swap your hunting knife for an eating knife, because the hunt is over and it's time to party like it's 1799 all over again. We've got incredible new food stuffs, so much alcohol it would make Count Rostov blush, as well as some of the country's hottest open mic acts - all of it in Russia's most secretive, fresh, and diplomat new venue. It's party time. /// patreon.com/wapin7 - Strum i...

Jan 12, 202351 minSeason 7Ep. 97

S7E3. He's Not My Uncle

Since the beginning of time there have been rivalries that have transcended the generations: Cats and dogs Sliced bread and non sliced bread Red or white wine And many more! It's time for a new rivalry. Can any living being catch hares better than Digital Susan? Everything is on the line. *Woof And they're off! /// patreon.com/wapin7 - Strum into action and support the podcast! wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Tune up and leave a rating or review! instagram.com/wapin7podcast/ - Follow us on Sprinstee...

Dec 29, 202247 minSeason 7Ep. 96

S7E2. How Many Dogs Is Too Many Dogs?

It's an age old question: How many dogs would a good dog dog if a good dog could dog dogs? Is 5 dogs the right answer? 50? Would 5000 dogs be a good number of dogs to involve? Tolstoy wasn't afraid of asking the hard questions, and neither are we. So down a pint of your best brandy, rename your favourite horse and join us this week as we go on the hunt for answers to some of the world's most pressing and urgent questions. /// patreon.com/wapin7 - Strum into action and support the podcast! wapin7...

Dec 15, 202252 minSeason 7Ep. 95

S7E1. Homeward Bound

One is the epic and unforgettable adventure of a talking bulldog, a talking golden retriever and presumably a talking cat and the other; a tale of a soldier's rather forgettable journey home to fix his family's financial mess. Which is which?! There's only one way to find out... Onwards to BOOK 7! /// patreon.com/wapin7 - Strum into action and support the podcast! wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Tune up and leave a rating or review! instagram.com/wapin7podcast/ - Follow us on Sprinsteengram! tolstoy...

Dec 01, 202241 minSeason 7Ep. 94

S6E10. Book 6 Catch-Up Quiz

We've got questions on hands, talking golden Smurf trees, archaic ultra-complicated temperature scales, bad calendars, pirate ships and somehow even a Jazz pianist. What links them all? Book 6 of War and Peace. Are you ready to put your WAP knowledge to the ultimate test? It's time to end season 6 on a big quiz bang. *CUE GAMESHOW MUSIC /// patreon.com/wapin7 - Spring into action and support the podcast! wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Celebrate spring by leaving a rating or review! instagram.com/wa...

Nov 17, 20221 hr 6 minSeason 6Ep. 93

S6E9. Special: Twilight

Forks, Washington gets 110 inches of rain, on average, per year. The US average is 38 inches of rain per year. A lot of rain to wash away your sins... Perhaps; perhaps indeed. Forks averages 7 inches of snow per year. The US average is 28 inches of snow per year. Why doesn't the rain want to turn into snow? Spooky. Very spooky indeed... On average, there are 131 sunny days per year in Forks. The US average is 205 sunny days . What is the sun so scared of? What mystical and deeply emotional being...

Nov 03, 20221 hr 4 minSeason 6Ep. 92

S6E8. Pandy's Promise - Book 6 Finale!

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! Another book down. Take a bow, do a small dance, ask someone to marry you and sit in silence for exactly one year, have a pineapple or simply sit down and listen to the Book 6 Finale. There's only one thing left to say Onwards /// patreon.com/wapin7 - Spring into action and support the podcast! wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Celebrate spring by leaving a rating or review! instagram.com/wapin7podcast/ - Follow us on Springstagram! [email protected] - Email us or send us a picture ...

Sep 15, 202256 minSeason 6Ep. 91

S6E7. Normal People Doing Stuff

Nothing to see here, move along, move along. It's just another standard week in War and Peace this week as the perfectly normal married humans, Vera and Berg, do utterly expected and human-y things with their normal human friends. Join us normal listener as we peer into their completely acceptable and expected lives. What will we find? Just your average humans doing normal stuff we expect - perhaps they will be having a nice time doing normal things normally with friends, or quite possibly they ...

Sep 01, 202244 minSeason 6Ep. 90

S6E6. The Secret Of Happiness

Prince Andy is on the hunt for happiness but in order to find it he simply must experience ambivalence, nihilism and straight up un happiness first. This episode is sort of like a football match. But instead of two teams playing football, it's actually happiness and sadness sort of fighting each other. The winner gets to be the king of all football... Yeah, it's not really like that at all actually. Maybe we should leave the writing to Tolstoy. /// patreon.com/wapin7 - Spring into action and sup...

Aug 18, 202234 minSeason 1Ep. 89

S6E5. The Dance of Destiny

We've been to soirees, parties, even a casual ball or five during our time with War and Peace. We've watched as The King of Sauce set the dance floor on fire, we've seen kids doing backflips to impress other kids, we've applauded out of fear and amazement as the Blunt Dragon devoured people whole. Truly we thought we'd seen everything that high society Russia had to offer. Little did we know that there was another type of ball. A bigger ball. A better ball. A less lame and more incredible and im...

Aug 04, 202259 minSeason 1Ep. 88

S6E4. Will You Money Me?

Some marry for love. Some marry for a protracted negotiation around dowry payments, up front deposits, cash incentives and share options. Some choose not to marry because they don't love someone. Some choose not to marry because the dowry payments, up front deposits, cash incentives and share options aren't optimal in the current economic climate and the return on investment will be suboptimal. * Cue Succession Theme /// patreon.com/wapin7 - Spring into action and support the podcast! wapin7.com...

Jul 21, 202243 minSeason 6Ep. 87

S6E3. Dear Diary

Dear Diary, My name's Pierre and I'm in my 20s, maybe early 30s, I'm not really sure. I've had a strange few years, I swapped my wife for a pile of bones and then I built a hospital out of money and sticks. Now I'm a senior guy at a pretty cool secret club, they think I'm pretty cool, but I'm starting to worry all the blood and arguments might not be as great as I first thought. Anyway sleepy now, night night diary, Pierre xox /// patreon.com/wapin7 - Spring into action and support the podcast! ...

Jul 07, 202241 minSeason 6Ep. 86

S6E2. The Whole World In His Hands!

All together now! He's got the rights of the people, in his hands! He's got plump white hands, for his hands! He's got a strange way of talking, in his hands! He's got the whole world in his hands! /// patreon.com/wapin7 - Spring into action and support the podcast! wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Celebrate spring by leaving a rating or review! instagram.com/wapin7podcast/ - Follow us on Springstagram! [email protected] - Email us or send us a picture of spring near you ! WAPIN7.com - Join the news...

Jun 23, 202244 minSeason 6Ep. 85

S6E1. Hot Hot Spring - Book 6 Begins!

We’re back! It’s officially Volume 2, it’s officially 1808, it’s officially spring. Indeed, the spring has never been springier in this spring-time spring spectacular. Peel off precisely one layer, go for a walk, and get ready to feel the full force of spring’s power. Chirping birds - check. Blooming flowers - check. Talking trees - check. This is going to be the best damn spring of our entire lives. /// patreon.com/wapin7 - Spring into action and support the podcast! wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟-...

Jun 09, 202246 minSeason 6Ep. 84

S5E13. Special: The Murders In The Rue Morgue - Part 2 of 2

You've been hanging on to that cliff for too long! It's time for us to set you free and reveal the murderer! Or MURDERERS!! This week it's all about windows and doors and locks and nails and hair but mainly windows and locks and doors and did we mention windows?! Get ready for the payoff of to the world's FIRST detective story. You're not going to believe it... // patreon.com/wapin7 - Would ye support the podcast, me hearites?! wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Would ye leave a rating or review!? inst...

May 26, 202240 minSeason 5Ep. 83

S5E12. Special: The Murders In The Rue Morgue - Part 1 of 2

Move over Sherlock, pipe down Poirot, check yourself Miss Marple - there's a new detective in town and he's the real og. This week we meet the incredible deductive mind of August Dupin - a sexy, forceful and profoundly arogant amateur detective cleaning up the streets of Paris with nothing more than his wit, his assistant and his incredible telepathic abilities. Written by Edgar Allan Poe in 1841 it is widely considered to be the first ever detective story. // patreon.com/wapin7 - Would ye suppo...

May 12, 202247 minSeason 5Ep. 82

S5E11. Book 5 Catch-Up Quiz

You look down at your large red powerful hands. You clench one into a fist and pump it triumphantly into the air! You've finished Book 5 of War and Peace and rightly want the world to know about. "What next?!" You scream. "I need more!!" It's time to put your knowledge of Book 5 to the ultimate test. We've got questions about: bones, hands, horses, Smurfs and Freemasons. *CUE GAMESHOW MUSIC Let us know how you do! - email [email protected] or follow us @wapin7podcast on Instagram 0 - 4 = Dishon...

Apr 28, 20221 hr 10 minSeason 5Ep. 81

S5E10. Peace out! - Book 5 (+ Vol 1!) Finale

It's the end of Book 5 AND the end of Volume 1 of War and Peace - and there are just so many unanswered questions: Will Denisov escape the law? Will peace last forever? Will the surfs ever truly be free? Why was that hospital so awful? Will Nicky get an arbitrary promotion for no reason in particular? Where did all those bones come from? Who the hell stole all the biscuits? What was that tiny monkey butler all about? Join us for this historic episode as we attempt to answer all or perhaps none o...

Apr 14, 202240 minSeason 5Ep. 80

S5E9. Dress Down Friday

Casual clothes day, dress down day, own clothes day, free dress day, non-uniform day, uniform free day, wear what you want day... Whatever you call it, it might be a day you look back on fondly, remembering that time you wore your favourite jeans to school and everyone said "great jeans". Or perhaps it's memory you've locked deep in your memory shed because of the time you wore jeans to school and everyone else was also wearing jeans. Or maybe, just maybe, you've no idea what we're talking about...

Mar 31, 202240 minSeason 5Ep. 79

S5E8. Laughter is the Only Medicine

🇺🇦 How to support the people of Ukraine 🇺🇦 Support from the UK Support from the US Other ways to help from your country // We've had mustard plasters, hot beef tea and leeches. In this week's episode we can add one more questionable healthcare practice to our list: laughter You know what they say? "A giggle a day keeps the Doctor away!" Be sure to bring your favourite joke book with you because we're going on a tour of the worst hospital ever and we think you might need it....

Mar 17, 202242 minSeason 5Ep. 78

S5E7. Mud, Blood, and Biscuits

If you've assembled an IKEA cupboard or two you'll know how essential good, clear instructions are. They really can make the difference between having an attractive, sturdy cupboard, or finding yourself poisoned, shot and starving after a monumental argument. This week we're opening a couple of WAP instructional manuals - first we'll be leafing through "How to build your first mud hut in 1000 easy steps," a simple and fun guide as relevant today as it was in the 1800s. After that we'll be creasi...

Mar 03, 202247 minSeason 5Ep. 77

S5E6. Pierre's Perfect Pilgrim Party

Pierre the perfect pilgrim pleaser pleases pilgrims perfectly in this week's perfectly priceless episode of WAPIN7. PAUSE! "Pierre? Perfect!? " You proudly protest! Well yes! Pierre is a perfect, polished, patient, professional, pleasant, punctilious and perfectly perfect player and it's about time everyone knew it! Preach! // patreon.com/wapin7 - Would ye support the podcast, me hearites?! wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Would ye leave a rating or review!? instagram.com/wapin7podcast/ - Ye should f...

Feb 17, 202246 minSeason 5Ep. 76

S5E5. Free The Smurfs

This week we're talking Serfs - the indentured workforce of 1800s Russia, bonded to a lifetime of hard labor for zero pay as they slowly die from preventable diseases in their rat infested hovels. We'll be asking "Is that really that bad?" and hearing things like "Maybe my Serfs are actually having a great time?" as well as "Even if it won't cost me much to significantly improve their lives, what's the point? I can't be bothered quite frankly". Plus we meet one man who's showing his big red fing...

Feb 03, 202250 minSeason 5Ep. 75

S5E4. Meta Letter

We just got a meta letter! I wonder who it's from? A letter inside another letter! I wonder who it's from?! A letter longer than time itself... I wonder who it's from!! A special special meta letter that's super extra long! WHO IS IT FROM?!?! JUST TELL ME! There's only one way to find out... // patreon.com/wapin7 - Would ye support the podcast, me hearites?! wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Would ye leave a rating or review!? instagram.com/wapin7podcast/ - Ye should follow us on Instagram, or walk th...

Jan 20, 202247 minSeason 5Ep. 74

S5E3. St. Partiesburg

Warm up your mouth, polish your teeth and fill your lungs because it's time to party! Yes that's right, you are invited to another sensational Anna 1 get together where your hips absolutely will not do the talking, but your lips certainly will. Prepare to chat, schmooze, and wag your chin all the way to the top as you compete with the greatest small talkers in all of St. Petersberg. Will you tell the joke of a lifetime and be instantly made emperor? Or will you stick your foot so deep in your mo...

Jan 06, 202240 minSeason 5Ep. 73

S5E2. Think About It!

We've all joined ultra secretive societies before. We all know the drill: box of bones, blindfold, various sets of gloves with incredibly specific uses, a trowel, some aprons, secret hieroglyphs, an unknowable mystery, various states of undress and of course a very very very large bill to be paid immediately ! For those of you who haven't joined a secret society I think you're in for quite a treat... "More bones, please!!" // patreon.com/wapin7 - Would ye support the podcast, me hearites?! wapin...

Dec 23, 202142 minSeason 5Ep. 72

S5E1. Parlay With The Pirate King - Book 5 Begins!

Ahoy me hearties! What better way to start Book 5 than with an old sea shanty! One sad man in a very sad place Yo ho ho and a bottle of vodka Enter the Pirate King with a large round face Yo ho ho and a bottle of vodka Who is the Pirate King? What does he want? Why is he yelling? Why does he only eat tiny bits of sugar? There's only one way to find out... It be time to walk the plank! // patreon.com/wapin7 - Would ye support the podcast, me hearites?! wapin7.com/rate 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟- Would ye leave a...

Dec 02, 202130 minSeason 5Ep. 71

S4E10. Special: The Monkey's Paw

What happens when you take a boring old monkey paw, fill it with magical evilness and exactly three wishes, and give it to an unsuspecting family who like playing chess and listening to the wind? Will they wish for world peace? Will they wish for the world's best clown? Will they wish for more paws? There's only one way to find out... "Monkey Paw, I wish for a special episode of WAPIN7 summarising ALL of the Monkey's Paw!" *WISH GRANTING SOUNDS **Also some wind sounds // patreon.com/wapin7 - Wou...

Nov 25, 202145 minSeason 4Ep. 70
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