This message comes from NPR sponsor Rosetta Stone, an expert in language learning for 30 years. Right now, NPR listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership to 25 different languages for 50% off. Learn more at rosettastone.com slash NPR. Chicago this is wait wait don't tell Bill Curtis, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois.
Peter Sangle. Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everyone. Great to see you again. We've got a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to Ego Wodem, the Saturday Night Live star, who is also guest. starring in the latest episode of Poker Face on Peacock. That's the show that gives every star in Hollywood a chance to do what they've always dreamed of. murder somebody.
We won't ask that kind of commitment to the bit from you. Just give us a call and play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant this week. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, I'm Olivia Zastrow and I'm calling from Chicago, Illinois. Chicago? Great to hear from you. What do you do here in the greatest city in the world? I am an analyst for a commercial real estate firm. Oh, really? What do you analyze?
Mostly Chicago office buildings. Oh, so it's like you walk outside, you look up and go, that's a tall one. Exactly. Well, welcome to the show, Olivia. Thank you. We found out what her job is. What more is there to talk about? Olivia, welcome to the show. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First, a comedian headlining the Gramercy in New York City on May 29th and the Houston Punchline on May 30th and 31st. It's Hari Kondabolu. Hello, Olivia.
Next, a comedian you can see May 30th and 31st at Hyena's in Dallas in June 6th and 7th at Soul Joe's in Pottstown, Pennsylvania. It's Dulce Sloan. And the comedian whose latest Netflix special is called Home Free, it's Tom Papa. Olivia. So, Olivia, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill this time. Bill Curtis, of course, is going to start us off with three quotations from the week's news. Your job, simply, correctly explain or perhaps analyze.
Two of them. Do that and you will win our prize. Any voice from our show you might choose. You ready to go? I'm ready. Alright. For your first quote, as we are now in one of the busiest travel weekends of the year, well, here's a traveler for his advice for flying out of a certain airport. Hope for the best. Our traveler was speaking to New Jersey News 12. He's a teensy bit nervous about traveling through what airport this weekend? The Newark Airport. The Newark Airport.
Newark Liberty Airport, aka the Airport of New Jersey, aka the New Jersey of Airport. Has become a travel disaster over the last few weeks. There's been a shortage of air traffic controllers. The radar seems to just turn off at random moments. There have been dangerous near misses on the tarmac. But Memorial Day weekend will test the theory. Maybe the problem was Not enough planes in the sky.
My daughter was coming home from college. She goes to college in New Jersey. And she had to fly out of Newark. Yeah. because she has a pet rabbit and rabbits are only allowed on Alaska Airlines. And the only place that it flew out of was Newark. And she's also scared of flying. And I said, and she's coming home for the summer. And I said, well, you're going to have to go to Newark. And it was the day after they lost all the planes. On the radar. And she doesn't have a rabbit anymore.
She went to LaGuardia and took JetBlue. It's interesting, Tom. Like Tom, I grew up in New Jersey and my very first airport flight... was out of Newark Airport. And it's interesting to me that if I were to go there, it might also be my last. Y'all spent a lot of time calling the South backwards, but Atlanta ain't never had these problems. That's true. It's just a bad story. It's just a bad story. What happened to Peter while he was flying back into Newark?
It's like if it was into Paris or he was on a flight to Hawaii. You're like, that's a shame. Things were going so well. And you're like, no, he crashed on his way into Newark. They're like, well, he's in a better place. All right, moving on. Olivia? Olivia, as I'm sure you'll be able to tell without me explaining it, just by virtue of Bill's amazing imitation, your next quote is from Tom Cruise.
You gotta see the movie. Mr. Cruz is on a publicity spree trying to get you to see what some are calling Hollywood's final action blockbuster. What is the movie? That is Mission Impossible. Yes, Mission Impossible. The final reckoning.
theaters this weekend, but you know that because statistically it is most likely that Tom Cruise came to your house to personally drag you there himself. His publicity tour has been absolutely relentless, he is jumping out of helicopters to promote the film he is standing on top of the biggest cinema in London which puts him right at eye level with the rest of us. We man, we man. Tiny ass man. Yeah, I can make that joke because I'm on the radio.
And I don't know if you guys saw it, but this video went viral this week. Like I said, he's everywhere. He's trying to get people to go to the theater, so he filmed this video of him. eating popcorn at a movie theater screening and it looks like he's like punching himself in the mouth with every bite. Seriously, all he talks about is how much he loves to go to the movies and eat popcorn, which he then demonstrates by placing some in his nutrition intake orifice.
and then activating his furnaces. It's true. The whole time he's doing it, he's like, look, I'm just like you. I'm just like you. I'm a regular person. No one eats popcorn like that. Normal people get a fist of it and just start nibbling around. I'm not sure if...
I think Tom Cruise might have died several years ago. This is all AI at this point. It might well be. Why is he on this type of... Do they really think that nobody's going to go see his movie? Well, apparently he and his... I guess allies and partners believe that you really gotta, they wanna keep people going to movie theaters to see these movies instead of waiting a month and watching it more or less for free at home. Right. When's the last time you went to the movie?
Are you asking me the last time I went on a date, Tom Papa? No. Because it sounds like you want me to cry on the radio. No. But when's the last? Because I keep saying, like, what's happened to the movies? Why aren't people going to the movies? I don't remember the last time I went to the movies myself. I've been to the movies myself.
What'd you say? I don't remember. E.T. Not E.T. No, girl, no. Oh, I went to go see one of them dates. I haven't seen Sinners yet. I'm supposed to go on a date, but if that boy don't text me back, then them vampires gonna win. Here's the crazy thing. So Tom Cruise is out there, right, and he's trying to get people to go into movie theaters. Do you know who else is doing that? Nicole Kidman. Fish and meat. I did it off.
Olivia, here is your last quote. I have not written and will not be writing a book called Nightshade Market. That was the author Min Jin Lee commenting on the Chicago Sun-Times summer reading list. I got a lot of attention this week because it is comprised almost entirely of books that do not what? Books that do not exist. They do not exist. They're not real. Yay! Продолжение следует...
In the worst literary news since the last time J.K. Rowling did something, the Chicago Sun-Times did what every junior high school student does when they just didn't get around to the homework. They had AI do it. The Sun Times published a list of 15 books that it thinks you should read this summer and 10 of them were fake. Completely imaginary, complete with imaginary descriptions. which was heartbreaking because I was so excited to read James Joyce's 10 surefire ways to shed belly fat.
But if you had asked AI, if you went back to AI and you said, hey, half of these are not real, they would say, give me a second. Now they are. So the Chicago sometimes got into a lot of trouble, as you can imagine. But it turns out this isn't new. The New York Times bestseller list has been generated by AI for almost a decade. I mean, come on, do you really think there's actually a book called Fourth Wing about dragon sex? Oh, I love that one. What? Yeah, it's good.
I know it's hard to, like, envision it, but once you read a couple pages, you're like, oh, right. Dragon sex. No, I've seen Gang of Thrones. Dragon sex is the least crazy thing that's ever happened. Bill, how did Olivia do on her quiz? She's from Chicago, so... You got them all right. I look for you hanging around our skyscraper. Talk to you soon. Thank you. Bye-bye.
Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Dolce, this week we learned a hot new tip to help you declutter, right? Hot new tip. That's all we need to know how to declutter your home. All you do... As you walk around in your house, you pick up an item and you ask yourself if you would still keep that even if it was covered with wine. That's the technique. Do you like the Marie Kondo method but wish it would make you actively gag? Well...
Try the Marie Kahn's no method. It's simple. When deciding whether or not to throw something, I would imagine if you would save it if it were covered in poop. But be careful if you're doing this at home and your partner says, ah, hold on, I don't know. I just have to know for sure. Get out of the room.
As a person with a child, I don't like this particular reason. Yeah, I know. I had the same theory because I was like, whoa, wait a minute. I mean, if I could, my children are always covered with poop and I would throw them away if I could get away with them. Do they specify what kind of poop? That's a good question. Their own poop? Who knows? People poop. Cat poop. Fish poop. Birds.
I get in my car all the time. I have bird poop on that all the time. And yet you keep it so you know that you value it. If it's human poop, there's nothing on earth I would keep. You'd be free of all earthly distractions. All of it. I would get rid of, yeah, if I had a stack of gold bars and then someone came in and did that on that. I wouldn't have that anymore. I'd figure it out. Gold bars? There's a hole somewhere in this house.
Coming up, the one thing you should absolutely not do while brushing your teeth, that's our bluff listener game called 1-888-Wait-Wait-To-Play. We'll be back in a minute with more Wait-Wait-Don't-Tell-Me from NP. This message comes from Sattva. Spring cleaning can be good for your home and your mind. It can boost your mood, sharpen your focus, and fuel productivity. Another way to do all that? Sleeping well.
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B-B-E-Z, Chicago. This is, wait, wait, no. The NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Papa, Dulce Sloan, and Hari Kondabalu. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois. Thank you all so much. It is time.
Right now, for the Wait Wait Don't Tell Me Bluff the Listener game, that's what we do now. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT if you'd like to play any of our games on the air. You can always check out the pinned post on our Instagram page. That's at Wait Wait NPR. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hello, this is Simon from Asheville, North Carolina. Asheville, North Carolina is one of my very favorite places on this green earth. You enjoy it just like the beautiful outdoor life in Asheville.
I do. It is a beautiful place. We have the mountains. We have the mountain biking. despite Everything that happened last year is still my favorite place. Well, me too. Well, thank you so much for calling, Simon. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what's Simon's topic?
Tooth and consequences. We all know the basics of dental care. Don't forget to floss. Don't eat too many sweets. Don't take fluoride advice from RFK Jr. Sustained. But this week we learned about another... expected oral hygiene oopsie. Our panelists are each going to tell you about it. Pick the one that's telling the truth and you can win the wait waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I'm ready. All right. First up, let's hear from Dulce Salon.
We all have fond memories of the wisecracking opera singing drag icon known as Bugs Bunny. But a botched procedure at a dentist's office in Colchester, Vermont had the whole town asking, What's up, doc? Vita Evans went to local dentist Dr. Kurt Yash in the spring of 2022 to get a set of veneers. Her and hundreds of other people in town got a shiny new set of veneers because Dr. Yash was new to town and running a special.
Well, after six months, Fida noticed an odd taste in her mouth, and her two front teeth were starting to become larger and longer. While out shopping one day, she noticed other people with the same affliction. Her wife also noticed and very gently said to her, Y'all need to call that dentist. This place is starting to look like a rabbit's den. Vita immediately called the dentist's office. The assistant apologized profusely and explained that Vita was one of many with this Bugs Bunny syndrome.
It was caused by a defective adhesive and they would fix the problem free of charge as long as Vida promised not to leave a bad Yelp review. Everybody in one particular town ended up looking like Bugs Bunny because the adhesive on their veneers all failed at the same time. Your next story of a dental error comes from Hari Kondabolu. When Chicago dentist Jonathan Freeman renovated his practice, he went all in drilling a big screen TV into the ceiling so his patients could watch shows.
However, after spending a fortune on his giant TV, Dr. Freeman bought a discounted package deal from a company called Humpty. offers specialized TV shows licensed only for dentists with things you've never seen like truck swaps. The Great Serbian Baking Show. And of course, the last season of The Office. At first, his patients were resigned to watching Humpty Programming, but they started drifting to one show, The Secret Lives of Central Nova Scotian Wives.
Dr. Freeman's patients are so hooked on the show, they will do whatever it takes to get to the dentist. Patients are even opting out of anesthesia and raw-dogging their wisdom teeth surgeries to not miss out on episodes. They are considering moving the show from Humpty to a more popular streamer like... or Smudge Direct. Are those real? Who can tell? That is an exclusive TV program.
Brings people to ruin their teeth just so they can watch it from the chair. Your last story of a mouth mistake comes from Tom Papa. Electric toothbrushes can do a lot of things. Time your brushing, enhance deep cleanings, and now catch your lover having a secret dirty affair while you're at work. Paul Jones, a private investigator of ARF investigators, worked with a client who became suspicious of her husband after noticing the unusual times he'd brush his teeth.
She knew he wasn't great at dental hygiene. Sometimes he would forget he brushed his teeth, walked back into the kitchen and eat a stack of Oreo cookies like a hungry diabetic raccoon. But the smart electric toothbrush app... connected to his electric toothbrush, showed he was consistently brushing his teeth late in the morning on Fridays when he should have been at work.
The private investigator exposed that the husband had started an affair with a work colleague and they'd meet every Friday when the wife and kids were out of the house. Four out of five dentists agree. That when a digital toothbrush says someone brushed their teeth at 10.48 a.m. when they were supposed to be at work at 9. They're probably naked. Alright. Somewhere. Someone was a little...
too devoted to dental hygiene. Was it from Dulce Sloan? Everybody who went to a particular dentist all of a sudden one day looking like Bugs Bunny. From Hari Kondabolu, people who saw a particular dentist ruining their teeth just so they could watch his TV programming on the ceiling. Or from Tom Papa, a man whose cheating ways were betrayed by his own smart toothbrush.
Which of these are the story of a dental mishap that we found in the news? I'm going to have to go with Tom Papa. I think the toothbrush was... To bring you the correct answer, we spoke to an expert on the real story. As a professional, he's always home at 10 a.m. on a Friday. Yes, it is alarmed, but we would definitely want to look into a little bit more. That was Jordan Alexander Scheer of RA Private Investigators and Security Incorporated.
confirming that yes, that would be suspicious behavior. Congratulations, Simon, you got it right. Tom was telling the truth about it. You've won our prize, the voice of your choice in your voicemail. Well done and congratulations. Thank you. Thanks for playing with us today. Take care. And now the game where we ask talented people to take a break.
from using their talents. It's called Not My Job. Ego Wodim grew up in Baltimore and headed out to USC to study biology, but got involved in the Los Angeles improv and comedy scene and ended up joining the cast of Saturday Night Live in 2018, which is great for all of us, but kind of sad for medicine, which could use a genuinely funny doctor. Welcome to Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Thank you so much.
Thank you. It's so much fun to talk to you. I was delighted to find out that you are a Baltimore girl. I love Baltimore people. Do you carry that with you proudly? Can you do the accent? I'm trying to think of something to say. Hot dog. That's hot dog. Thank you for translating. Yeah, I can, but I need a prompt. I don't have a Baltimore. thing in my back pocket. Okay. Well, here's something. Hey, as a person from Baltimore, can you tell me how much you love old bases and
I'm obsessed with Old Bay. I put it on everything including my fruit. I've got Old Bay merch. I've got Old Bay tote bag, socks, mugs. Oversized Old Bay, no food in my home, but that Old Bay to go on it shouldn't arrive. Right. And if you run out of everything else, you'll just survive on Old Bay. Does Old Bay know this about you? Because they probably could use a celebrity spokesman of your stature.
I actually just got to tell the Old Bay team that earlier today, so fingers crossed I get to be the face of the whole thing. Did you call them up? Did you go to their offices? Did you bang on the window? like Dustin Hoffman in The Graduate yelling, Old Bay, Old Bay. You know, I did it, but I should have. Where were you? I'm sorry. I couldn't help you. We've loved you on Saturday Night Live for a long time, and I wanted to ask...
about this character who appeared just this spring for the first time. Miss Eggie, your stand-up persona. You see? Well, thank you, guys. You see, and this thing happened, I believe it was the first time Miss Aggie appeared. that instantly became like a classic Saturday Night Live moment. Because one of Miss Eggy's bits is that she's always turning to the audience and asking them to finish her thought, right?
And you were, Miss Eggie, I should say, was doing this bit about all the terrible men she's known. And you said, and these men ain't. And you held the microphone out to the audience. And the entire audience on live TV yelled a certain expletive. which was an amazing moment. But my question for you is, what in the world did you expect them to say? Thank you.
Well, here's the thing, guys, and I've said this many times now. The audience is not supposed to say anything at Saturday Night Live. They never have. likely will not be prompted to again in the future. They're supposed to watch. They're just supposed to watch the piece and laugh and cheer. I don't keep saying that's such a well-known phrase. Men ain't I'm like, I don't know. I don't know that I've heard that particular phrase.
I've heard he ain't that. I've heard they ain't that. I've heard, but I have not. It was meant to be, they don't know, because they've never seen me perform before. And then I say, worth the day. But they were amazing. I love that first crowd. Very enthusiastic, but very locked in. So I'm grateful to them. No, seriously, people will talk for years about, like, you know.
Elvis Costello changing his song at the last second and Miss Eggy getting the FCC fine. I think those will be like a few moments. I want to ask you before we go on to the game, of course, about Poker Face. You're on this week's episode. This is the... Murder of the week show that's huge hit and it's not Natasha Lyonne travels around the country solving crime
I don't think it's a spoiler because part of the show is you find out who the murderer is in the very first few minutes. You're not the murderer. Was that disappointing? They said, oh, we want you to be on Poker Face. You're like, yay, but you don't get to kill anybody. No. No, I was just happy to be asked to be part of Poker Face. I was like, hell yes. And then I was asked to eat cheese, which I can't.
I can't have as much cheese as they would have liked me to have. Okay, this is good. This is good dirt. People will see the episode this weekend. It's out now. You play the PA baseball announcer for a minor league team who a sponsor is a cheese company. And the gag is your character eats a lot of cheese. A lot. And you're telling me that you're on set and they're saying, okay, now you have to eat more cheese. And you're like, no, you don't understand. I can't eat this much cheese.
We had a conversation before where they told me the plan was for me to eat a lot of cheese and I thought, oh wow. Of all the rolls, I'm getting the one I can't do. um but here's the thing i raw dog cheese all the time i'm lactose intolerant but i i i go i go raw with the cheese all the time and i without a lactate that is and We don't die, but at a certain point, I would have a problem. And so they decided to swap out the cheese for, I believe it was vegan cheese.
which just created a different problem. Sounds like you were farting either way. Yeah, no matter what, I was going to be farting. I was farting. Yeah, and if they kept it up, you might in fact have killed someone, so, you know. Yeah, exactly.
It is a pleasure to talk to you. We have asked you here to play a game we're calling. You'll never wear out. You're welcome. So you're a great guest star on Poker Face, so we're going to ask you three questions about bad guests. Answer two out of three questions correctly.
You'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose for their voicemail. Bill, who is Eggo playing for? Kara Young of Houston, Texas. All right, you ready to play? Hey, Kara, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. Come on, let's get this from Kara. Here we go. Here's your first question.
Rock stars, of course, are known for being bad guests at hotels, none more famously than The Who's late drummer Keith Moon. He was once banned for life from all holiday ends because he celebrated his 21st birthday at one by doing what? A, forcing the staff to sing him happy birthday for 24 hours straight, no matter how many people passed out. B, drinking all night in the bar before telling the bartender, you know what I just realized? I'm actually turning 20.
or C, driving his Lincoln Continental directly into the hotel pool? I'm going to say C. You're right. Lincoln Continental is Do not float. We also found out, by the way, that Rod Stewart and his band were also banned from all holiday ends, and they got around it by checking in as Fleetwood Mac. Oh my God.
I'm so sorry. You just gave up the next one. I just gave up the next one because... Oh, no! This is what happened. We can't... Well, Kara... Kara... No, wait a minute. We've got to give that to Kara. We're just going to go through with it because what happened was we had talked about this and then since we talked about it... It got written up as the next question, and I didn't know that.
Can you imagine my shame just now? Looking down at my script and seeing this question. But what we're going to do... is we're just going to go through with it because this is show business and the show must go on. Fleetwood Mac. Yeah. All right. Here's your next question. Singer Rod Stewart also received a lifetime ban from Holiday Inn, but found a way around the ban. What was it? A. Stewart would comb his hair, making him unrecognizable. That sounds believable.
B, they'd make local promoters check in, then let the band in through the back door. Or C, He and his band would check into Holiday Inns as Fleetwood Mac. This is tough. This is hard. Um, C. Yeah, that was right. I don't know how you knew that. That's right. So that was a first by the way that's never happened before so congratulations all of you here to see that.
I feel like we're all lying. Yeah, we're all living a lie, but it doesn't really matter. Here's your last question. Salvador Dali was a frequent guest of Paris' La Maurice Hotel, where he often stayed for months at a time when he left. The staff was forced to repaint the room. Why? A. He would blow his nose on the wallpaper. B. As soon as he moved in, he painted everything black, including the light bulb. Or C, because he always traveled with his two pets, two full-sized ocelots.
I'm going to say, and this is... Very chaotic, but it's B. You're going to go with B. As soon as he moved in, he painted everything black because that was his taste. No, it was actually C. Ocelots, you see, are kind of wild cats. And they cannot be house trained, just so you know. So, Bill, how did Eggo do in our quiz? Well, I didn't hear everything. But I believe it's two out of three. Not bad. It's a winning score around here. You've done it. You've won. Congratulations. Thank you so much.
Giving me the answer to it. I'm grateful that I was able to do that for you. Ego Wodum is an SNL cast member who you can see in the latest season of Poker Face on Peacock. Ego Wodum, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Call. ご視聴ありがとうございました Thank you. Take care. We'll see you next season. Bye-bye. go up, up, and away in our listener limerick challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in It was Laura Boyd right downtown. Tell me.
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This message comes from Warby Parker. What makes a great pair of glasses? At Warby Parker, it's all the invisible extras without the extra cost, like free adjustments for life. Find your pair at borbyparker.com or visit one of their hundreds of stores around the country. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Tom Papa. How are you?
And Jose Sloan. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theatre in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Segal. Thank you, Bill. Coming up. Thank you, everybody. Coming up, if anyone present knows any reason why we should not play the listener Limerick Challenge, speak now or forever hold your peace. Or if you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.
Hari, the Wall Street Journal, profiled people who bought Apple's Vision Pro virtual reality headset last year. And all those people agree on one thing. Why? that it made their head hurt, that it made their heart hurt. That it made their eyes hurt. All of which might be true, but it all ended up with them feeling what? Nauseous.
Sounds right to me. Again, so a year ago they bought this thing for $3,500 and now they feel what? Cheated. Right. They feel terrible regret that they shouldn't have bought. A year ago, Apple launched their revolutionary Vision Pro virtual reality headset with the promise of never having to look at the real world ever again.
But for a lot of the early adopters, the virtual reality they're most interested in is the one where they did not spend $3,500 on an Apple Vision Pro. One Vision Pro owner, a guy who's paid full price for it, described the experience of using it, and this is a real quote. You put on what feels like a 500-pound MacBook Pro, strap it to your face, and have people laugh at you. The only reason people don't like it, let's be honest, is that they haven't realized how to have sex with it yet.
Yes, that's true. That's the real answer. It really is. I mean, I didn't like PlayStation for a long time. Don't say a question for you. What? Yeah. Okay. Don't say according to an evolutionary biologist, evolution has in fact created a perfect animal. A flawless predator that can flourish in almost any environment. What is this perfect killer? Me! That's why we asked you, Dulce. I'm so proud of you. No, no, it's not that. No, it's not you.
evolutionary design. It is designed incredibly perfectly for what it does. It is the perfect animal. Kitty cats! Yes, kitty cats! Yay! That makes sense! That sounds right! Your floppy fur bag of a pet really is nature's most flawless creation. Great. Now they'll be even more insufferable. In an interview with Scientific American, no less, biologist Anjani Goswami points out...
that all cats are exactly alike except for their size. Your house cat is a miniature lion, right? And that is because the design of cats is essentially perfect. You cannot improve them, not even with an adorable little rhinestone collar. I have a cat. I can assess that as accurate. That's true. Yeah. All the cat owners right there right now are going, yes, we knew that. We knew that. Queen us is perfect. And if you were to die and nobody come and get you.
the cat will eat you. Why do they always say that like a dog wouldn't do the same thing? Well, I've never, I'm sorry to disagree, but I've never woken up from a nap. and had a dog chewing on my leg, and I have had my cat do that. Her proof is that there's only one kind of cat, while most other kinds of animals have lots of varieties. There are hundreds of kinds of bats, for example.
So why Dr. Gaswani said is because, and this is a real quote from a real scientist, they suck. You see, none of them have figured out the right way to be a bad. I don't know, guys. Maybe try sleeping right side up. That's true. There is a wide range of, like, dogs. Like, I have a black lab and a pug. And the pug is like a bag of marshmallows with eyes. And the lab, you look in the lab's eyes and it's like, oh, this is so intelligent. I think dogs have souls.
And then I look in Frank's eyes, the pug's eyes, and I think, no. But humans did this. Humans took wolves and turned them into pugs. That's true. I know what you're saying, but I don't think you can trace a wolf to pug. I think it's more like bag of laundry to put. That's what happens. One day. God knows how many hundreds of years ago somebody left the laundry in the dryer too long. And it became sentient and now it can't breathe.
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago or come see us on the road. For example, we'll be in Des Moines, Iowa on July 10th and Salt Lake City on July 31st.
Tickets and info are all at nprpresents.org. Hi, Yaron. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Hi, my name is Annalicia, and I'm calling from Harlem, New York. Harlem, New York, a lovely and wonderful place, way uptown. What do you do there in the Big Apple? I work in finance like a lot of people, but outside of work, I also teach kids cooking classes. Do you really? That's really great. What do kids most like to cook? Is there a trend?
Anything where you can smash something. You know, smashing strawberries, making falafel, you know, all of the really hands-on stuff. Right, their favorite implement is, of course, the hammer. Welcome to the show, Annalicia. Bill Curtis, of course, is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two of the limericks, it will be a big win.
Ready to fly? Yes. Here is your first limerick. A big blimp with what seems like a metal skin. And it soars, so I guess I'll be stepping in. Sure, planes are all right, but I'll book my next flight on that old-fashioned airship, the... I don't know. I don't either. I know. It's a kind of airship that rhymes with metal skin stepping in. You know, a famous one was made of lead. Lead? Lead. Ow. Ow.
I'm lost. I really don't know. You really don't know this. I'll give it to you. It's Zeppelin. Zeppelin. Not a common word. So you think planes are too unsafe at this time? Well, step into this Zeppelin. The Washington Post reports. that a bunch of startups are trying to bring back the Zeppelin of course the last commercial Zeppelin blew up and
like one of the most famous disasters in history, but these guys today say, first, the tech is now much safer, and second, come on, what are the chances of that happening twice? These zeppelins, you'll be happy to know, will be filled with... Helium, which unlike hydrogen, doesn't burn. So when one of these blows up, the horrified newscast reporter will be saying, Oh, the humanity! The humanity! Ten fights a day out of Newark. Exactly.
All right, here is your next limerick. When bath time is long and monsoony, our skin tends to get quite cartoony. Though fingers will shrivel, the imprint stays civil. It's steady each time they get... Rooney. The science has discovered. Just now. that fingers always wrinkle the same way when they get wet. So wrinkled fingers are just as individual as dry ones, information that could be huge for solving crimes.
Don't be surprised if the next time you're at the police station, they take your fingerprints and say, now into the tub, perp. Annalicia, here is your last limerick. My taste buds are not being fickle. They love a dill, garlic, salt, tickle. Sweet and sour is fine, but now add some brine. This lemonade's great with a...
Pickle! Pickle, yes! Pickle lemonade is officially the drink of the summer. It's a combination of sweet lemonade and briny pickle juice, the kind of drink that will make you say, wow. there is something wrong with my lemonade. Though not universally loved, the drink is popular enough that Popeye's chicken has already added it to their summer menu and replaced their similar but less successful mustard sprite.
This sounds like a bunch of rich people got together and was like, hey, what's something we can give these poor people to really kill them? We already make this chicken full of salt, but how do we get it in the drink? Also, my brother's got a... business and it's not moving anything. That's probably it. Well, how did Annalisa do on her quiz? Very well. She won with two out of three. ¡Suscríbete al canal! Thank you so much for playing.
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Now onto our final game, lightning fill-in-the-blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as they can. Each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the score? All right. That means I'll say you are in second place. You're going to go first. I'll say the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.
On Thursday, the House of Representatives voted to pass President Trump's so-called Big Beautiful Blank. Mega Bill! Right. Voting four to four, the Supreme Court declined to allow state funding for a religious blank in Oklahoma. Charter school. Exactly right. This week the FDA hinted they would soon crack down on off-brand versions of blank and other GLP-1s.
Oh, the semiglutides? Oh, yeah. Ozempic? Yeah, Ozempic, yeah. That's right. This week, a teenager in Oklahoma who was caught cashing $500,000 in fraudulent checks said he was doing it to pay for black... Roblox. No, his lawyer in another fraud case. Come on, young man. On Tuesday, Kid Cudi took the stand at the trial of disgraced hip-hop mogul blank. Yes. After 46 days, a blank match between Grandmaster Magnus Carlsen and 150,000 online opponents working together ended in a draw.
Chess? Yes, chess match. This week, visitors to an amusement park in Louisiana are suing after their kids were injured by blank alligators. No, by a prosthetic leg that flew off someone during a ride. According to the parents, the prosthetic leg came flying off one of the roller coasters way up there, hit two of their kids, bounced off the ground, and then hit a third. They're fine but this is why they always tell you to keep your arms and legs inside the ride.
Bill, how did Dulcine do on our quits? Five rights, 10 more points, a total of 12 puts her in the lead. All right. Very well done. That's arbitrarily. Hari Kanabolo to go next, so Hari. Fill in the blank. On Sunday, blank revealed he had been diagnosed with prostate cancer. Joe Biden. Right. During a meeting at the White House, President Trump ambushed the president of blank with false claims about white genocide in his country. South Africa. Right. On Wednesday, the blank dropped 800 points.
This week, Louisiana authorities said they're searching for 10 inmates who escaped the hole and left a note that said blank. See ya. No, it said... What they actually said was, too easy, LOL. After being banned in 2020, hit game Fortnite has been returned to blank's app store. iPhone. Yeah, yeah, Apple. Very good. Best known for playing Norm Peterson on Cheers, actor blank, passed away at the age of 6. Yes, Chicago's own. For the second time...
Texas is suing a fast food chain for a million dollars because they liked. I got his order wrong. I'm gonna give it to you because they put onions on his burger. The man is suing Whataburger after he asked for no onions in his burger and got onions. He claims the mix-up caused him personal injuries. Meanwhile, the employee responsible for cutting the onions is like, if he's the one with injuries, why am I the one crying?
Bill, how did Harry do in our quits? Six right. Twelve more points. Total of 15 puts him in the lead. All right. How many then does Tom Papa mean to win? Six to tie and seven to win, Tom. Okay. Here we go, Tom. This is for the game. Citing their continued military offensive in Gaza, the UK paused trade negotiations with blank. Israel. On Tuesday, the White House announced plans for a new $175 billion blank defense system. Dome.
Yeah, nuclear dome to guard against missiles. Like only a golden dome on Thursday. The Treasury Department announced it would phase out the blank by next year. The penny. Right. On Tuesday, scientists warned that melting ice could lead blanks to rise by 12 inches every decade. C's. Yes. This week, the Indy Motor Speedway held a race between six souped-up blanks. souped up
Oh, I knew this one. Pass. I don't know. Souped up Wienermobile. Oh, it was Wienermobile. It was Wienermobile. On Thursday, the first blood test to diagnose blank was approved. Cancer. Alzheimer's. On Tuesday the NFL decided against banning the controversial blank play. Statue of Liberty? No, the controversial tush-push play. After being reunited with the class ring he lost on a trip to Spain over 50 years ago, a man in Georgia blanked. lost it. Yes, he immediately lost it again, Tom.
it just proves the old saying if you love someone let it go if it comes back immediately let it go again. Bill, did Tom do well enough to win? Well, Tom got close. Five right. Ten more points. A total of 13 means he's in second place. And guess who's the winner today? Harry! In just a minute, our panelists are going to predict what will be the title of the movie that Tom Cruise makes when he is 100 years old.
Wait, wait, don't tell him. He's a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord, Phillip Godeke. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Student Baker Theater. B.J. Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer The Bride Mills. Miles Dornbos and Lillian King. Special thanks to Blythe Robertson.
Mohanad Alshehi and Monica Hickey. Non-special thanks to Peter Gwynn. And the Choi is our Vibe Curator. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our Production Manager is Robert Newhouse. Our Senior Producer is Ian Chilock. And the Executive Producer of, wait, wait, don't tell me, is Mike. Now panel, what movie will Tom Cruise make when he is 100 as he has promised? Harvey Kondabolu, Grim Reacher. Don't say Sloan. Mr. Possible 100. The chopper to the walker.
and Tom Papa foul movement impossible Regardless, thanks. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week in Boston, Massachusetts. This is NPR. This message comes from NPR sponsor Shopify, the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S. Get started with your own design studio. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com slash NPR. This message comes from NPR sponsor, 1Password.
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