¶ Intro / Opening
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¶ Welcome and Panel Introductions
From NPR and WBC Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm the voice so rich, it makes you sign a prenup. Bill Curtis is the name, and here's your host at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Thank you, everybody. Great to see you. Great to be with you.
We do have a great show for you today. Later on, we're going to be talking to the actor Delroy Lindo, star of the movie Sinners and many other great things. But first, this show marks the beginning of our 29th year on the air. Hard to believe the truth. And I just wanted to say, first of all, thanks to all of you who are listening for your patience as we continue to try to work out the kinks. To my father who is listening to this, I think it's time you accept I am not going to law school.
So you can help us get this 29th year started by calling in to play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me. Hi, Peter. This is Dan from Minneapolis. Hey, Dan. I have spent a lot of time in Minneapolis. What do you do there to enjoy yourself? Oh, what I do there for fun. I like to enjoy the winter skiing and ice skating. Yep.
And I want to point out, having lived in Minnesota, the skiing is the flat kind, right? I mean, there are a couple of hills around. Yes. Well, welcome to the show, Dan. Let me introduce you to our panel this week. First up, her album, Yell Joy, is available on all streaming platforms. It's Joyelle Nicole Johnson. Hi, Dan. Hello. Next, a humorist whose substack is, take another little piece of my heart now, it's Roy Blunt, Jr.
And a comedian you can see in Arizona on January 31st at the Fox Theater in Tucson, it's Paula Poundstone. Hey, dude.
¶ Who's Bill? News Quiz
So Dan, welcome to the show. You're going to play Who's Bill? This time, Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose on your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Absolutely. Okay, here we go. Your first quote is some stirring patriotic words from our president when he became a wartime leader on Saturday. We're going to get that oil flowing.
He really wasn't hiding the reason he ordered the invasion of what country? That would be Venezuela. It would be Venezuela. And it was really kind of refreshing. I mean, while previous administrations have disguised their true intentions for various foreign adventures, President Trump, as you heard, came right out and said it, right? It's like they took the slogan, no blood for oil, and put a comment in it.
No, blood for oil. Yeah. Yeah, no one has ever really called him refreshing before. Yeah. Well, he's straightforward. I mean, there's a certain honesty and clarity. But speaking of straightforward... One of the things that was so weird about it was like they wanted Maduro out. They wanted to get him out of there. And they just went in and got him. They just took him. I mean, whatever happened to like subtlety?
in international sabotage, right? I mean, there was like some CIA agent who spent five years trying to seduce him and now look, right? This is also true that to practice the raid, they built an exact replica. of President Maduro's mansion in Kentucky, and they practiced on it that is currently being torn down and replaced with a scale model of Greenland. Did they really do that?
Did they really practice on it? They really did. They built a full-scale replica based on all their intelligence, and they just practiced the raid over and over again. That is so McDonald's. Yeah. McDonald's? When McDonald's wanted to put a McDonald's in Japan for the first time, they said, okay, but you can't block traffic. And so they got this big warehouse.
And they practiced building a McDonald's inside the warehouse until they could do it like that. And they were given, like, I think 24 hours or something. They had to learn to build the McDonald's quickly. Right. Yeah. So it's very... Is that widely known? Do you think the Pentagon said, okay, guys, we're going to do this McDonald's stuff? You know, a lot of these things are interconnected. Did I tell you this before? Stop me if I told you this before. Stop! Thank you. Okay.
I think they should have left that house there. A lot of people would like to live there. It's probably a very nice house being a presidential mansion. It'd be a little awkward for a while. I wonder if Trump went in to the fake Maduro house and redid the marble. Because, you know, he's an aesthetics guy. Yeah, that's true. All right, here...
is your next quote. The blueberries are disturbingly large. That was a nutrition expert commenting in the New York Times on the FDA's new version of what very famous chart? The food pyramid. The food pyramid, that's right. It wasn't just like the... Strangely large blueberries in the new food pyramid people were talking about. The new food pyramid advises Americans to eat a lot of red meat and whole milk. That's what's on the top, right? Turns out MAGA stands for Make America Gout Again.
They want you to eat meat, but it has to come from the side of the road that's exactly yes Roadkill only yeah RFK jr. Did say he was going to overturn federal food policy and he literally did they took the old food pyramid. Remember that one with the base of like the grains and fruits at the bottom and the pointy top? And they literally just turned it upside down. So now it looks less like a food pyramid and more like a food funnel.
You're going to need some help to get all that meat in you, so it's good, though. Beef tallow. Everybody's into beef tallow. I thought you made... candles out of that. Me too. It looks like you do. What's interesting is they put this out with these new dietary recommendations and a lot of it was pretty reasonable. Eat fewer processed foods, eat less sugar.
Really, from this administration, you would have predicted it would be more like the only meat you can eat is foie gras and we need written proof the goose suffered. I just think leave it up to RFK to recommend a serial killer diet. He looks like he eats raw meat. I think he does. Like, wouldn't you believe that? Yeah. If we...
If we found out that he did, we wouldn't smack our foreheads. That's true. Really? Him? Really? That guy? Really? No. Did you ever, you know, okay, I mean, I've always been suspect of the food pyramid one way or the other. Right. I don't know if anybody's ever, you know, you get the general idea, right? When you look, you glance at it, okay, maybe I should have more of this than that. But it actually used to say that you had to have something like 11 servings of grains a day.
Has anybody ever been able to... You wouldn't be able to go into work. You'd have to be like... Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm not going to be in again tomorrow. I'm only halfway through yesterday's grains. It never sounded practical. I guess that's the thing. Rub a little beef tallow on it. It'll be a slide right down. Yum. Dan, your last quote is from a new type of influencer who was popular on TikTok. The first two hours were manageable. I felt like a monk.
The remaining six hours were much harder. That was one of many people encouraging their followers to stop doing what? Oh, jeepers. Can I get a hint? Well, yeah. For example, you're not allowed to watch influencer videos. Oh, get off your phone? Yeah, I'm gonna give it to you to basically stop doing everything that distracts you and be bored. That is the plan. A number of popular influencers are pushing the idea that boredom is good for you.
We need to put down our phones, get away from screens, all the distractions, embrace dullness. Oh man, now I see why my kids have been trying to hang out with me more. You know, I'm not totally against... the idea of particularly younger people being bored sometime. Really? Yeah, I do think there is something to...
Being able to think. I agree with you because I have a five-year-old, a delightful young boy, and this is a habit he's gotten into. If he is, and this is a real example, getting up from the table where he's just finished his meal and just walking the 15 feet. to the door to put on his shoes and go do something. He says, I'm bored.
Just walking across. You know what? I was at your house one time, and that stretch is rough. That's true. Not a lot going on. No, I don't know. Maybe a poster or something. And I'm like, Elliot, come on. You're a creative young man. man, you do not have to be bored walking just to the door. Just look at your phone as I do when I do the same thing. Bill, how did Dan do? Well, he did perfect. He's from Minnesota. Congratulations, Dan. Well done.
¶ Panel Jokes: Sexy Walkers
Stay safe, Dan. Take care. Thanks, everybody. Take care. Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Paula, very good news for older Americans. Engineers at the University of Colorado say they have created the first ever, quote, sexy what? Donut. You don't think donuts are already sexy? No, the kind you sit on.
No. You are actually close because it is a medical device. All right. Do you got any other hints? Well, I mean, like when a sexy one, you'd say like, whoa, those legs go on forever right down to the tennis balls on the bottom. Oh, Sexy Walker? Sexy Walkers. Oh, you know what? We were so close to that already. Really? Oh, yeah. You just got to look at it the right way. So the problem is... Older adults who need assistive...
devices to walk sometimes don't want to be seen with one of the classic clunky aluminum walkers. So a lab in Colorado has created a quote, sexy one, series of them actually. If you really want it to sound sexy, stop calling it a walker and start calling it a polycane. It doesn't sound sexy at all to me. I think Walker sounds much sexier.
Yeah. Wasn't there a series about a sheriff or something and his name was Walker? Walker, Texas Ranger. It was just actually Walker for you right there. Why would, you know, if it was Polly Kane, sheriff. And the question is, if these things are, as they say, sexy, will it make the people who use them sexy as well? No. Will seniors... Oh, okay. If he has money. No. The question is, will seniors be saying to each other, let me slip and fall into something more comfortable? Coming up...
We need a hero in our Bluff the Listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. This message comes from BetterHelp. The new year isn't about doing more. It's about carrying less. Therapy can help you unpack what's been heavy and bring more clarity, calm, and perspective into 2026.
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¶ Bluff the Listener Game
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Joyelle Nicole Johnson, and Roy Blunt, Jr. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Bluff the listener game. Call 1-888-Wait-Wait to play our game on the air. How you were on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Olivia from Greensboro, North Carolina. My old friend Carl Castle, of course, was from North Carolina. What do you do there? Well, I got to chase around my three young kids. But when I do get timed myself, I'll do a bit of cross-stitching or antiquing.
Old granny hobbies. Well, of course. Well, it's good to start practicing now because you'll be ready when you need it. Well, Olivia, it's great to have you with us. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. What is the topic, Bill? You're a lifesaver. Not? all heroes wear capes. For that matter, not all heroes wear underwear. Looking at you, Batman. Anyway, this week we read about an unlikely hero.
saving a life or lives. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the one who's not lying and you will win our prize, the voice of anyone you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to play? I can't wait, wait. All right. Oh, nicely done. Okay, Olivia. All right, let's first hear from Joelle Nicole Johnson. There are a myriad of industries devoted to adults' fulfilling childhood fantasies. Some play tag, others collect dolls.
Yikes. The creators of Cash Cash have the largest game of hide-and-seek in the world. But what happens when someone hides too good? Well, that happened this week. To the chagrin of the French, an American family purchased and renovated the Chateau de Melon's castle for these childish shenanigans of 2018 and pandemic. Withstanding, things have been running smoothly. However... This week, a hider couldn't be accounted for after many hours. Insert the aid of Le Petit Detective.
A 13-year-old kid cracked this case. Louis Dumas is the premier hiding seeker in the area and has won competitions, which exist. The clock... was running against the group as a winter storm was brewing, and if the lost patron was outside, he could freeze. But in under an hour, Louis found the hider outside in the horse stables. Turns out the man had narcolepsy and fell asleep in his cozy spot buried beneath the hay.
his inspiration, Louis said, I grew up reading Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys and I want to be a detective one day. If Inspector Clouseau can make it, so can I. Well, that bar is low, Louis. A low bar in D. A young French detective discovers a lost hide-and-seeker. Your next story of an ice save comes from Roy Blunt Jr. It's one thing for Indiana Jones, iconic hero of the great action movie Raiders of the Lost Ark to be desperately fleeing a giant runaway boulder.
That's what you get when you steal a booby-trapped golden idol. But what if you're just at Disney World taking in a live show? It happens to be the Indiana Jones stunt spectacular and the giant prop. boulder jumps its track and comes bounding toward you The giant rubber boulder bounced menacingly right at the audience until a stage hand identified only as Robert
ran out and put up a hand to stop it. He didn't allow for it being 400 pounds of rubber, so it knocked him flat. But he did deflect it from its path. That man literally saved our lives, exclaimed someone in the crowd. That element of the show will be modified, said a Disney World spokesman. Real action hero Robert emerged bloody.
but unbowed. A Disney employee saves an audience from the enormous rolling boulder in the Indiana Jones show. And your last story of a bold rescue comes from Paula Poundstone. Early Souders is awfully glad dogs love Nestle Purina dog chow. Just after beginning his day shift at 6 a.m. at the Eden, North Carolina, Nestle Purina dog chow manufacturing plant,
Early Souders was inspecting the silo that feeds into the machine that bags dog food when hundreds of pounds of chow tumbled down towards him. While Souders... almost met his maker, some local dogs experienced heaven on earth. Dog food factories attract dogs. On any given day, workers at this plant have to wade through as many as 30 dogs of all kinds that smell the food and come on by hoping for samples. Weppy had a vision. Let those dogs in.
Fortunately for early souters, Bud Schweppe let the dogs in, and fortunately for Nestle Purina, the security cameras caught the image of 20 dogs. hurtling towards a cascade of Nestle Purina dog chow and literally eating it mid-air before most of it could even touch early souters. Oh, wow. Okay.
So, Olivia, who was the true life-saving hero in the news this week? Was it from Joyelle Nicole Johnson, a young French boy who was able to find a person playing competitive hide-and-seek who hit a little too well? From Roy Blunt Jr., a stagehand at Disney named Robert who saved the audience from the perils of Indiana Jones. Or from Paula Poundstone, a pack of dogs who managed to save a man from being drowned, smothered, buried.
in kibble at the Purina factory. I think I'll go with Joyelle's story about the hide-and-seek. You're going with Joyelle's story about the competitive hide-and-seek in France where the guy was only found. Through the detective work of a small child. Yep, let's do it. Okay. Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to someone familiar with the real story. A 400-pound fake boulder started rolling towards the crowd, and this dude jumped in front of it to save the crowd.
That was Tom DeBlass. He's a professional MMA fighter commenting on how awesome it was that that guy at Disney World jumped in front of Indiana Jones' boulder. And I'm sorry to say, Joyelle was lying.
¶ Delroy Lindo's Career Journey
You did not win our prize. However, you did win a point for Joelle, which I know makes her very happy. She's doing a happy dance. So thank you so much for playing, Olivia, and thanks for calling. Bye-bye, Olivia. And now the game we call Not My Job. Delroy Lindo is one of those actors who seems to be in everything. Movies like Malcolm X and The Cider House Rules and Get Shorty TV shows like The Good Fight and The Chicago Code, his latest role.
was in the hit movie Sinners. He joins us now. Delroy Linda, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you. I am... I'm such a big fan of yours. I feel like I've seen you in movies and TV for a very long time. But I don't really associate you with one role. And I was wondering, do other people, do people recognize you mostly for one thing or another?
one thing or another, meaning different audience members have different references for me based on what they've seen me do. There is not one part in particular. That said... It has always occurred to me, watching you in all kinds of different things, that your characters have a certain quality that they all share. And I actually heard you tell a story you were on stage quite recently with your good friend Denzel Washington.
And you told a story about how early on in your career you were approached by a guy on a bicycle. I think it was like you were getting your car. And that guy seemed to nail it. So I was wondering if you could tell that story to us. So it's okay to curse on this show, right? I think people get a sense. Go right ahead. We have beeps. So I was parking my car on Park Avenue. This is many, many, many, many years ago in New York City. And a bike.
A bicycle messenger passed me, young African-American gentleman. He stopped, backed his bike up, came to me and said, hey, man, you that actor, right? And I said, yeah, brother. Yes, I am. And he said, you know what I dig about you in the movies, man? And I said, what, brother? He said, nobody ever put you in the movies, bro. And that, am I right? And as I explained to Denzel, for me, I interpreted that as him having a certain kind of respect.
For whatever it is he had seen me do. Yeah. It's true. As we have mentioned, you and Denzel have known each other for years. Students together at the American Conservatory Theater in... in San Francisco, where a lot of great actors came from. He says that you gave him one of the greatest bits of advice you ever got as a young, starving actor. You said you could survive. What was it?
A loaf of wheat bread, a jar of honey, and a jar of peanut butter. That's how I did it when I needed to. The point being... That was a kind of a go-to that you could, that one could get protein and get all of the nutrients that one needed. Yeah. And I want to ask immediately, though. When you first started making money, or maybe just the first time you got a paycheck for acting, what was like the good thing to eat, the first thing that you bought?
Okay, you will learn this about me. I'm not going to answer the question, but I will give you an answer. So when I made a little bit of money, when I first made a little bit of money as an actor, the thing that gave me the most... was to be able to send money to my mom. As proof... Thank you. As proof... that not only was i gainfully employed from a um in a profession that my mom did not want me to enter
So it was proof that I was not only gainfully employed, but I was sufficiently gainfully employed that I could send her some money. You know, I don't think you're doing that well, and I would like to adopt you.
¶ Delroy Lindo: Sinners, Soccer, Saints
I want to talk to you about Sinners, which is an amazing film, one of the biggest movies of last year, which will hopefully reap a lot of awards. This is a movie, again, filled with music, brilliant music, and you play a musician. Yeah. A singer and piano player. Did you have to learn? Was that a talent you brought to the table when you walked on set? No, I received a lot of instruction. I had one, two, three...
brilliant musicians, New Orleans-based musicians, who worked with me on my relationship to the keyboard. Right. And I also had instruction on the harp, the harmonica. So I had a lot of instruction. Yeah. Do you still play now that the movie's all wrapped in the past? No, I have. God bless them. The producers gave me one of the...
the keyboards. I've been so busy, frankly, I haven't had a chance to get back to it. I don't know, man. If you don't practice, you may not... Absolutely. Yeah, I know. It's true. I want to ask you this before we move to our game. Which is, we understand that one of your legacies as your youth in Britain is that you're a big fan of soccer. I am. Man you, right? All day long. All day long, man you.
I mean, you're a pretty prominent guy. Has the team honored you? Have they had you there? I mean, they have a lot of fans. Man, they have not. And give them a call. I will. If only I'd known. Are you then very excited for the upcoming World Cup? I am. Yeah. I really, really am. Yeah. Very, very much so. I'm not sure.
I don't have tickets yet. Anybody in the audience who has influence there can give me a call. Yeah, I'm really excited. I'm really excited. Yeah, it's a sad thing when someone like you has to ask us. Yeah, right. Do you have any divided loyalties? You grew up in England. You live here. It's where your career has been. Are you going to be rooting for? Actually, that's a really good question.
And I would say the answer, do I have divided loyalties? I would say I'd like to see the English team do well. I'd like to see the American team do well. So I guess I've got my feet on both sides of the fence there. Okay. You're going to be torn if it comes down to those two teams. It will not. Yeah, I was about to say, no. No way. It's not going to happen, man. No, it's not. I'm hardly a fan, and even I know that is not going to happen. It's not going to happen. No.
Well, Delroy Lindo, it is a pleasure to talk to you, and we have invited you here today to play a game, and we are calling it Sinners Meet the Saints. So you star in the movie Sinners, as said, so we thought we'd ask you today. Three questions about Saints, specifically the New Orleans Saints of the NFL. Which, if you're not a fan, in this last season, 2025, improved on the prior year's 5-12 record.
By going six and 11. So if you answer two to three questions correctly, you will win our prize. One of our listeners, the voice of anyone from our show they might like on their voicemail. Bill, who is the great Delroy Lindo playing for? Kevin Harmon of Detroit, Michigan. Here's your first question. The Saints have been playing in the NFL since 1967, and for the first few decades, they weren't very good. After a 1-15 season in 1980, disappointed fans in New Orleans started calling them what?
A, the New Orleans ain'ts. B, the New Orleans taints. Or C, the Houston saints. I'm going to say the New Orleans taints. I wish it were, but it was the New Orleans ain'ts, I'm afraid. They took the S off. New Orleans ain't. They ain't very good. Here's your next question, though. You still have two more chances. The Saints are credited with an innovation in pro football. What was it? A, they were the first team to hire a choreographer for their end zone dancers.
B, they were the first team to have a fan in the stands wear a paper bag over his head from embarrassment. Or C, they were the first team to make uniform pants tighter to increase fan appeal. Am I allowed to ask for the right answer from somebody in the audience? You are welcome to poll the audience, but the audience is yelling B. I'm going with B also. That is B, yes. The man...
First to put a bag on his head out of embarrassment while watching a football game was named Mike Dilberto. He was a Saints fan and sometimes broadcaster. He was the first to do it, but hundreds soon followed. All right, here's your last question. You get this right, Delroy. You win it all for one of our listeners. The saints at one point seemed to have a rather unlikely fan. Who was it? A, Pope Francis, who regularly...
accidentally tagged the team while trying to tweet about the other kind of saints. B, a very popular burlesque dancer in NOLA who changed her name to the nude Orleans saint. Or see a man who remained loyal to the team despite proposing to three different women on the Jumbotron on three different occasions and getting rejected by all of them. The Pope. The Pope is right. Yes, Pope Francis.
Devout man, devoted to the Catholic saints, but not very good at Twitter. He kept tagging the New Orleans saints whenever he would praise. The Saints of the Catholic Church. Bill, how did Delroy Lindo do in our quiz? Two out of three is a winner, which proves don't F with Delroy. There you go.
Delroy Lindo, one of our great actors. He appears in Sinners, which will be up for a lot of awards, and a million other things we have loved and admired over the years. Delroy Lindo, thank you so much for joining us. Bye-bye, Bill Roy. In just a minute, lizards, they're just like us. That's in our Listener Limerick Challenge game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
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From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Roy Blunt Jr., Paula Poundstone, and Joyelle Nicole Johnston. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you so much, Bill. In just a minute, New Year.
Old game. It's our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.
¶ Panel Jokes: Car Tech, Butt Lifts
Joya, last month we lost an automobile engineer named Jim Moylan. He died at the age of 80. Now, Mr. Moylan was an unheralded hero because he was the man who brought us what huge advance in car design. Airbags? No, not airbags. You use it far more often, I hope, than you use your airbags. Seatbelts. Nope. The brakes. That's right.
Until Mr. Moylan came around in the 1980s, people would just drive their cars. And if they needed to stop it, they would just point it at some hard object and hope that it was anchored to the ground. I use my sunroof a lot. Not the sunroof. I'll give you a hint. Okay. Every time you find yourself not having to try to stretch the gas line all the way around your car, you can say a little thank you to him. Oh, the little arrow? The little arrow, yes! Yeah.
The little arrow on the dashboard that tells you which side of the car the fuel tank is on. I didn't know that existed. Did he have a trademark on that or a patent? Well, he was working for Ford. He came up with it. Where would we be without this? trying to pump gas into blank sheet metal. That's where, right? You're thinking, okay, maybe I'm just supposed to punch through it like the top of a juice box. Back in the 80s, Moylan worked for Ford Motors, and one day he got soaked in the rain.
as he walked around to fill up his car to find out that the gas cam was on the other side. So he wrote a memo to his bosses suggesting that they put little arrows on the fuel gauge on the dashboard telling the driver which side the fuel cap was on. And they did it! Brilliant! So that's how we get what is still called the Moylan arrow, as well as the Moylan umbrella. The irony is I've had my car for five years and I still use that arrow. Yes. We all do. I never have seen that. I didn't even know.
I'm going to go home tonight and find out whether I've been filling up the car on the right time. Paula. Sir. I'm sure, like a lot of people... You would like a Brazilian butt lift, but... Just a matter of money, that's the only thing that's kept me. And you do it, you do it, but you just can't stand the idea of synthetic fillers in your body. Well, good news, you can now inject yourself with fat harvested from what?
I don't know. Is it from another animal, I assume? No, well, technically, yes, an animal, but no. From a person? Yes, from a... Oh, you can get celebrity butt fat? Oh my god, I would love that. Would you really? What celebrity do you have in mind? I would not love that. The whole Brazilian buttlet thing. No, it's not celebrities. Although it could be a celebrity, they just have to be dead.
Oh, God. Yes, they're harvesting fat from dead people for Brazilian butt lifts. Well, they're not using it. That's the point. Yeah. They're not shaking it. Yeah. No, it sounds macabre to have dead people's fat injected into your bottoms. It does. But it can be beautiful. Imagine the healing power you could give a grieving family by letting them slap grandpa. I was asked just one more time. I wonder how soon. Right. Yeah, I mean, how long does it last? Yeah, does it expire?
You got to get that. Is it like fresh? Well, technically, does it expire again? This makes me want to like scribble in an addendum on my organ donor card, right? Yeah. Yes. Use my heart. Use what my lungs, whatever. But if you inject my fat into a... rich person's buttocks, I am going to haunt them. I could be so skinny in the casket. That's true. Here's the funny though, if your own butt fat...
has value after your death, can you put it in your will? I would like to divide my butt equally to each of my beloved children, one badonk. To make money. Yeah, and leave that to your people. Yeah, I know. Do you have to insure it? Like how violinists insure their hands? If you had a fabulous butt, you would insure it. What do you mean if? Good. It's some other person. I don't know if you all have seen the NPR calendar.
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago. Or you can catch us on the road. You can find tickets and information about all our live shows at nprpresents.org. Hi, everyone. Wait, wait, don't tell me.
Hi, Peter. This is Maren. Hey, Maren. Where are you calling from? Olympia, Washington. Olympia, Washington. I love Olympia, Washington. I have good friends who live there. It's a lovely place. What do you do there? I am a program analyst for U.S. Department of Transportation. Oh, really? Okay. That's good. How are things in transportation these days? Things are going. Yeah. They're transporting. What more need you say?
Well, welcome to the show, Maren. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a big winner. You ready to play? Yes. Here is your first limerick.
¶ Listener Limerick Challenge
There's a species of colorful lizards who seem to be game-playing wizards. When searching for partners, they're brave, strong, or smarter. For mates, they play rock. Paper. Scissors. Right. A new study finds that the side-blotched lizard, when they're not wondering why we didn't name them literally anything else, plays rock, paper, scissors. Sort of.
So the way it works is males of this species can grow up to be either orange, blue, or yellow. And when it comes to being chosen by mates, orange always wins out over blue, blue always wins out over yellow, but yellow always wins out over orange, right? It's a complex evolutionary adaptation that ensures the survival of their species and helps them decide who is the designated driver. I think it's a fascinating story about evolution.
In fact, scientists observed that because orange beats blue, right, blues will sometimes team up to defeat an orange. In some cases, even dying while protecting an ally in the fight to mate. Lizards not do the poly thing? No, no, as far as I know, they do not. All right, Maren, here is your next limerick. There is free use of Spot, Dick, and Jane. With Miss Marple, they're sipping champagne.
Sam Spade, Nancy Drew, they're all joining the crew. Because they're all in the public. Domain? Domain, yes. Film, music, and literature. that was copyrighted in 1930 has now entered the public domain. You know what that means. Get ready to see your beloved classic turned into a slasher film, porn, or slasher porn. Nancy Drew books are on the list along with the Dick and Jane children's books. Well, it's going to be called Dick and Jane now. Yeah, it is. Don't have to change the title.
Other works include The Little Engine That Could. All of a sudden, everything sounds dirty in this content. What's interesting is that whenever this happens, it happened a couple years ago with Winnie the Pooh. The first thing that people do is make a horror movie. Winnie the Pooh, horror movie slasher. Nancy Drew, serial killer. The New Testament? Absolutely. Ends badly. Yeah. Here is your last limerick.
My weekends no longer are fun days, so I'm getting a head start on Monday. I am not at my best with two days of rest, so I'm starting my work week on... Sunday! Yeah, Sunday. More and more workers are getting a head start on the work week by working on Sunday. They say it's a way to... I see we have some dedicated Christians in the room, and I appreciate that. Day of rest.
Former workers are getting a head start on the work week by working on Sunday. They say it's a way to alleviate the nerves and big workload they are walking into on Monday. Perfect. No more Sunday scaries. Now you have Saturday scaries. People say it gives them the chance to work without the distraction of phone calls, slacks, and interruptions from their colleagues constantly saying, Mondays, am I right?
I've done a lot of work on Sundays, but it's from putting it off all week. Yeah, that's the problem. Yeah. I wrote many a fine book report on Sundays when I was growing up. Wait, they're going to work from Sunday and then... They go into work on Monday, yeah. But then just Saturday is their only day off? No, but these people start slacking on Thursday. I hope so. Slack at your jobs, people. Yeah.
And she means don't work. She doesn't mean get on Slack. I didn't even know Slack was a job thing because I don't have a job. Exactly. Bill, how did Maren do in our quiz? Winner, winner, winner. Congratulations. Well done, Maren. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for playing This is Ira Glass. On This American Life, one thing we like is a good mystery. Sometimes about really big things, but most times, the little mysteries are the best.
Our lost and found is currently filled with pants. I don't know. I've never seen this happen. Wait, this is true? This is true. Mysteries of every size, each week, This American Life, wherever you get your podcasts. In a divided America, a new trend is emerging among those on the political left. After seeing J6, I started getting interested in getting some firearms training. On the Sunday story, meet the liberals, the people of color.
and LGBTQ folks who are arming themselves because they fear more civil unrest. Listen now to the Sunday story on the Up First podcast from NPR. Netflix's Stranger Things has reached its end, and we're unpacking the biggest moments in the final season. We'll talk about what we thought of the finale, what happened to our heroes when they set out to battle the forces of evil one last time, and, of course, the... Listen to Pop Culture Happy Hour in the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts.
¶ Lightning Fill-in-the-Blank
Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? Roy and Paula each have two, and Joyelle has... Four. Big money, big money. Well, you're leading going away, so...
Roy and Paula are tied. Roy, why don't we say you should go first. Here we go. The clock will start when they begin. Your first question, fill in the blank. During his court appearance in Brooklyn, New York on Monday, blank pleaded not guilty to drug and weapons charges. Oh, the...
President of Venezuela. Right, Nicolas Maduro. This week, the White House said it's still considering using military force to take control of blank. Greenland. Right. On Monday, BYD overtook Tesla as the number one seller of blanks. Electric. Right. This week, a Salvation Army bell ringer outside a supermarket in Florida took a break from collecting donations to blank. To...
Rob the store. No, to try to impale the store manager with the stand that the donation bucket was hanging from. On Thursday, researchers said that regular exercise may be as effective as therapy at treating blank. Moping around. I'm going to give it to you. It's depression. After 19 years of marriage, Keith Urban finalized his divorce from blank on Monday. Nicole Kidman. Right. This week, a man in Italy sued a restaurant after their promotional TikTok video showed him blanking.
chewing really in an awful manner with his mouth open. No, more embarrassing. The TikTok video they put out to advertise their restaurant showed this man having an affair. The man thought he was far enough away from his house when he chose the restaurant where he'd have dinner with his mistress, but didn't realize they were filming a promotional video for TikTok, which his wife saw shortly after it was posted.
The next time he cheats, he's sworn to do it somewhere where there are too many people around him for him to be picked out of a crowd. You know, like a Coldplay concert. That was a fun day. Bill, how did Roy do in our quiz? Well, he got five right, 10 more points, totaled of 12, which puts him in the lead. All right.
You're up next, Paula. I'm ready. Fill in the blank. On Monday, the Justice Department revealed that they'd released only about 1% of the blank files. EPSI. Right. On Thursday, the House agreed to vote on an extension to blank subsidies. The ACA tax. Yes, Obamacare. This week, the number of available blanks in the U.S. hit their lowest level in a year. Available jobs? Yes. On Monday, Pete Hegseth said he was cutting Senator Blank's military retirement pay. Kelly. Right.
This week police again have arrested someone for possessing a bag full of drugs that were stored in a bag labeled blank. A bag full of drugs. No, it was labeled... No, no, Paula. They're smarter than that. It was labeled definitely not a bag full of drugs. Damn it. According to a new study, users of blanks regained their lost weight after...
about 18 months. Those shots, like Olympic kind of thing. Yeah, GLP-1, they're called. Citing health concerns, NASA announced that the current crew of the blank would return to Earth earlier than expected. The crew up on the space shuttle. Right. This week, a thief who stole two mandolins from a music...
store in New Jersey returned them along with a note that read blank. I stole these accidentally. No, the note with the stolen and returned mandolins said, quote, sorry, I've been drunk. Merry Christmas. The owners of the music store were shocked to find the two stolen mandolins returned to the store along with a note that blamed the theft on the thief being drunk. Can you imagine how drunk you have to be though to suddenly think it's a good idea to start a Mumford & Sons cover band?
Bill, how did Paula do in our quiz? Six right, 12 more points, and total of 14. Yay, all right. My favorite part of the game. How many does Joyelle need to win? Five to tie, six to win. Here we go. All right, Joyelle, here we go. This is for the game. This Tuesday marked the fifth anniversary of the insurrection at the blank.
Oh, the Capitol. Right. On Monday, a senator from Ohio proposed a law making dual blank illegal. Citizenship? Yeah. This week, the CDC warned that doctors' visits for the blank have reached the highest level in 25 years. Doctors' visits for... The blank.
Plague. The flu. On Monday, board members for the Corporation for Blank voted to dissolve the organization. Hilton. No, the Corporation for Public Broadcasting. This week, a man in China sued his employer after they fired him for blanking while at work. Taking a nap. No, taking four-hour bathroom breaks. The company says they fired the employee. He was probably taking a nap up in there. It could be, but...
He says not. The company says that they fired the employee because he was regularly taking four-hour-long bathroom breaks while on the clock. Fair, okay. But when they're that long, aren't you technically taking work breaks from pooping? That's the kind of employee I support. Absolutely. Bill, did Joyelle do well enough to win? Two right, four more points, eights. No, is the word for Joel. There you go. But it's Paula. Think about Paula, the winner.
¶ Show Outro and Final Thoughts
In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict now that we have a new food pyramid, what will be the next new food to go on sale? But first, let me tell you all that...
Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's a production of NPR and WBEZ. Chicago, in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, benevolent overlord. Phillip Godeke writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald, thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre.
leader and composer theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Mohamed Elshechi and Monica Hickey. Peter Gwynn is definitely not a bag full of drugs. Emma Choi is our visual host. Technical direction is from Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse. Our senior producer is Ian Chilog. And the executive producer, wait, wait, don't tell me.
is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, thanks to our new food pyramid, what will be the next new food product on the market? Joelle Nicole Johnson. Pig feet, hog mouths, and chitlins. Ooh. Roy Blunt, Jr. A variety of meat-flavored M&Ms. And Paula Poundstone. Beef tallow ice cream. There you go. Well, if any of that happens, we're going to ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Thank you, Bill Curtis. Thanks also to Joelle Nicole Johnson and Roy Blunt.
Thanks to our fabulous audience here at the Studio Baker Theatre in downtown Chicago, Illinois. Thanks to all of you for listening wherever you might be. I'm Peter Sagal. We'll see you next week. This is NPR. This week on the NPR Politics Podcast, barely more than a week into the new year, there's plenty to break down and try to understand. In Venezuela and beyond, questions about the changing role of America on the world stage.
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