In Lily's family, there's a story everybody knows by heart. If this story had never happened... All of us wouldn't be here right now. Sammy wouldn't be here. Tina wouldn't be here. Wally wouldn't be here. Anyone that we know wouldn't be here. So what happens when Lily's mom tells her... This story is not true. This American Life. Surprising stories every week. The NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. Accept no substitute. But by all means, accept Peter Sagal's substitute.
Here at the Studebaker Theater at the Fine Arts Building in Chicago, Illinois, it's Karen Chee. Thank you, Bill. That's right. I'm Karen Chief getting in for Peter Sagal. He's at home recovering from a fight with another NPR host right now. I don't want to name any names, but let's just say Steve Inskeep is a biter. You're all in for a treat because later we're talking to Oscar-nominated actor Brian Tyree Henry.
You probably know him from Atlanta or his new show, Dope Thief. Or, as I know him, as the voice of the absolutely jacked Smokey the Bear. But first, it's your turn to call in to play our games. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, Karen, this is Kevin Stroud. I live in Raleigh, North Carolina. Oh, Kevin, hi, welcome. Thank you, thank you. Kevin, what do you do in beautiful Raleigh? By day, I am a mental health therapist.
Oh, wow. That's an amazing job. Thank you for doing that. I'm sure you're doing great in your business, but if you need any referrals, I do have a lot of ex-boyfriends. Well, we said we weren't going to talk about that, Karen. All right, Kevin, let's introduce you to our panel. First, a comedian and fashion designer whose new summer line and new novel, Silk and Silencer, will be available May 15th. It's Brian Babylon. What's up, man? How are you? Good, bro. Good.
the host of the daily podcast TBTL and the public radio variety show Livewire, which will be live at the Reser Center in Beaverton, Oregon on May 1st. Luke Burbank. Hey, Kevin. Hey, Luke, how are you? And a comedian and host of the podcast Fake the Nation, who you can follow on all the social media platforms that you keep meaning to delete. It's Nikki and Farsad.
Welcome to the show, Kevin. You're going to play Who's Bill this time? Bill Curtis is going to read you three quotes from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you'll win our prize, which is any voice from our show that you choose on your voicemail. Are you ready? Absolutely. Let's do it. Amazing.
Your first quote is from a spokesperson at a gambling site. It's our biggest non-sporting event of the year, and we expect the betting to really pick up as we head toward the conclave. So people are betting on who is going to be the next what. The voting for the next, for the papacy? Yes, that's correct. People are betting on who is going to be the next pope.
People mourned Francis's passing all over the world, but no one more than the producers of the movie Conclave who said, Hey, couldn't he have at least done this during our Oscar campaign? It is a sign of how in touch the Pope was with the people in the church that he was like, wait, conclaves are huge right now. We got to ride this train. I love that idea that he was so into pop culture because...
a really great sense of humor. And I feel like he was like, guys, wouldn't it be funny if I met JD Vance? die. That's the timing. That's what happened. Commitment to the bit. He wrote an encyclical on being committed to the bit. He lived it. What Nagin is saying is true. The vice president met with the Pope the day before he died and said to him, it's good to see you in better health.
Which, incidentally, it's good to see you in better health is also what J.D. Vance said to the stock market in March. And the national championship trophy before that. That guy is on a tear. the new head of the company through smoke and its colors. It's just a fun kind of way to do it. I also think, you know how you can carry around a little personal fan for when you're hot? I think personal smoke machine for when you just want to...
share a detail about your life. Right. Wait, I just want to bring it back to the smoke though, because I want to say, Remember, if the smoke is blue, it's going to be a boy. Right. And if the smoke is pink, it's also going to be a boy. The Pope is always going to be a boy. The world's least interesting gender reveal. Yeah.
All right, Kevin, your next quote is some words costing someone tens of millions of dollars. Please and thank you. This week, a tech CEO said that we cost his company millions of dollars when we say those words when typing requests into what? Oh, into the chat GPT. That's correct. Yeah. OpenAI CEO Sam Altman says, please and thank you cost his company tens of millions of dollars because it's unnecessary data for chat GPT to process.
And I just want to say, if this is costing him money, I love that. I'm going to be extra polite. I'm going to start using chat GPT just to give it a forehead kiss after each answer. I love it. It's like, I'm from the Pacific Northwest. And I've lost friends in the war. And by the war, I mean coming to a four-way stop when someone else came to the same four-way stop and everyone's waiting for the other person to go.
That's like next level politeness. We need to do that with these programs just completely lock them up, but you know also like I got into it with ChatGBT a couple of nights ago where it didn't, it was telling me they was going to do something. I got this plan, that plan. You download this, you download. Hey, Champion G, the link's not working. Ugh, I know, I know, that's my bad. I said something that I couldn't do. Sorry for over-promising. Then I'm like, why would you do that?
I don't know. It really went to this whole thing. I know. I'm so sorry. I won't do it again. So how many icebergs melted because of this lover's spat? It was... It was a lot because I had to like tell it like, hey man, don't tell me any more BS. Like get on your square, yo. He's like, yo, okay, I will.
And then he had a meltdown. All of that cost that guy, Sam Altman, money, right? Yeah, I was going to say it's costing him money, but it's also requiring a lot of power and electricity. So when you're asking it a request, you have to remember that saying something like... Write my term paper is fine, but please, hi, will you write my term paper? Thank you. Burns down an entire Brazilian rainforest. Yes. But also I wonder, I mean, so the argument for being friendly to the...
to the AI is that eventually they'll take over and be our masters and they'll know which ones of us were nice. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, okay, so I have a question which is, Like, do we have a quota as people for how nice we can be? And then... If we are nice to AI all the time, are we then mean to our moms? Is it a zero-sum game of niceness? Right, right. And if you're mean to your mom, how many icebergs does...
Does that melt? Wait, Nagin, do you wake up every morning being like, I can only say five nice things today? Yeah, is that how we all do it? Did you see the color of her smoke backstage, Karen? It was, I've used up all of my nice things. Yeah, yeah. All right, Kevin, now we are on to our last quote. I really don't care about plant-based. That was someone speaking to the New York Times about new data that finds what is back on American plate.
It is something that was once alive. Meat? That's correct. That's right. Meat is back. Or, depending on which state you live in, meat is the same. It's what's still been for dinner. After years of decline, sales of meat hit record highs last year. And this is due to a number of factors. It's that high-protein diets are in, we're getting tired of plant-based meat.
But more than anything, we just don't like those cows' attitudes. Am I the only vegetarian on this panel? Okay. I'm not. Oh, I'm not. I am a vegetarian. The fake meat is not. what it is cracked up to be. It's not. I'm not surprised to hear that people are, I don't know if they're going away from that and towards real meat, but that stuff is not.
I don't care what it's on the box, what it looks like. You get that thing home and you cook it up. It is not fooling anybody. No. I do agree with what you're saying, though. I mean, we did go too crazy with the plant-based stuff. Like, I used a... plant-based shampoo, which I'm pretty sure is just normal shampoo. But now that we're overcorrecting, I can't wait to see the new Windex now with lamb. Oh. Bill, how did Kevin do? Kevin rocks.
With three in a row, he won. Kevin, congratulations, and thank you so much for playing. Of course. Thank you so much, Karen. Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Luke, loose-lipped Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth says he's having wasteful spending at the Pentagon, and he is making changes. According to CBS News, he's adding a what to the Pentagon's briefing room.
A makeup studio? That's correct. Pete Hegseth is adding a makeup studio, and we know this because he texted his stylist. hey, I can't wait to try this new eye shadow. Also, here are the nuclear codes. So this CBS News, I think, reported this initially, that there was money being allocated to sort of... remaking remodeling this green room and so then somebody over there said this is totally made up this is bs here's the room and then they tweeted out what was clearly a photo of a makeup room.
Yeah. It was pretty much as advertised. It was also, they went one step further, actually. The DoD struck back at this report saying, and this is exactly what you want your spokesperson to say if you are the Secretary of Defense. Pete Hegseth doesn't need a makeup room because Pete Hegseth does his own makeup. I love the idea of like a four-star general.
showing up at the Pentagon and a PA being like, should I take you to hair and makeup? I did my own glam. Can you imagine Don Rumsfeld showing up in full glam? Only thing we have to fear is you missing this week's Bluff the Listener game. So call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. On The Indicator from Planet Money Podcast. We're here to help you make sense of the economic news.
from Trump's tariffs. It's called, in game theory, a trigger strategy, or sometimes called grim trigger, which sort of has a cowboy-esque ring to it. To what exactly a sovereign wealth fund is. For insight every weekday, listen to NPR's The Indicator from Planet Money. Thank you. Thank you. That have turned to crime. We don't go around the world. We're already there. Listen to the State of the World podcast from NPR.
I'm Jesse Thorne. This week on Bullseye, Fat Joe, on being a late middle-aged rapper with an 18-year-old daughter. She's really looking at me like I'm a dinosaur. She's like, yo, dad, come on now. You going where? Stop. Just stay home, watch Jeopardy. That's on the next Bullseye from MaximumFun.org and NPR.
This message comes from the Kresge Foundation. Established 100 years ago, the Kresge Foundation works to expand equity and opportunity in cities across America. A century of impact, a future of opportunity. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We are playing this week with Luke Burbank, Brian Babylon, and Nagin Farsad.
And here again is your host at the Studio Akers Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Karen Chee. Thank you, Bill. Right now, it's time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff. at WaitWaitNPR. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Howdy, this is Chris Robinson calling in from Tulsa, Oklahoma. Chris, how are you doing this week? Pretty good this week. I'm in law school right now, so I decided to take some time out and do a fun...
NPR show and try to relax a little bit before finals come up. Nice. I love it. I love when a true nerd calls into NPR saying, I'm taking a break from finals by doing a quiz. Yes. Thank you so much for joining us. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. So what's the topic, Bill? Childhood fears come true.
You know the classic kid fears like the dark, the boogeyman, the creeping realization that you've peaked at age seven? This week, somebody's childhood fear did come true, and our panelists are going to tell you about it. So pick the one who's telling the truth and you'll win our prize, the wait waiter of your choice on your voicemail. Chris, are you ready to play? I'm ready. All right. First up, it's Nagin Farsad.
As a kid, the only thing Ronald D'Souza feared more than getting pantsed was escalators. He feared that if he didn't tie his shoes before getting on an escalator, it would eat his legs. To this day, as an adult manager of the Macy's in Palm Desert, California, Ronald takes a beat too long to step on, waiting for the right step, missing the right step, and then waiting again for the right step.
One day, he was doing a VIP tour with vendors when the laces of his Oxfords came undone. He didn't notice and led the group to the escalator. That's when the escalator began to eat his shoe. He was reflexively pulled to his knees, and that's when his pant leg got sucked in. pulling his trousers down and showing off his tighty-whities. It was a double-whammy childhood nightmare. He was rescued, but only after his clients and a steady stream of shoppers
were treated to the rear end of a man perched like he was getting a public prostate exam. Co-workers cut him out of the pants, after which he scurried to the men's section, looking business on top. on the bottom. Nowadays, Ronald takes the elevator. That is a workplace pantsing from Nagin Farsad. And your next story of a we one's worry come to life comes from Brian Babylon. This week, Mitchell and Brianne of Traverse City, Michigan had their first date. they decided to go hunting for rock.
That's what romance looks like in Michigan. So they headed up to the beach looking for some special bluestones, sort of like a Bachelor and Indiana Jones spinoff. Now, Brianne sees a spot near the water and says, that looks dangerous. Mitchell hears that and just like a typical man goes, oh, word, well, that's exactly where I'm going. This fool steps into the danger zone and gets snatched up to his waist in two seconds by quicksand.
And get this, he wasn't even shocked. He said, oh, not this again. Again, how many times have you been in quicksand, bro? What kind of lifestyle is this? Who raised you? Shaggy from Scooby-Doo? But here's the real rom-com moment. During the 911 call, they both accidentally dropped the girlfriend and boyfriend title for the first time to the 911 caller.
The firefighters finally showed up and pulled Mitchell out like a human cork. Moral of the story, if your date starts with yard work... and turns into a rescue op, and then ends with relationship titles, congratulations, you're not in love, you're in a Lifetime movie. And that's a story about how quicksand is real from Brian Babylon. And your last story of a fear becoming fact comes from Luke Burbank.
Kylie Hogan of Cooberpedia, Australia knew she wasn't losing her mind. The married mother of three kept telling her husband, Paul, she was hearing something or someone under the bed after he'd fall asleep at night. But his response was, nar. It's just your imagination. But in fact, as the Coober P.D. Times reported recently, Nar. It wasn't just her amigenation. The noises were coming from under the house. In the ground where a sinkhole was slowly opening up.
When the city finally came out to investigate, it turned out the hole was part of a rich vein of opals. Unfortunately, the family had to move out of their home, which was torn down. But fortunately, they now own the rights to a very profitable opal operation. allowing them to build a huge new home just down the street, complete with toilets that flush in the normal direction, and a beautiful fenced backyard where the family's pet koala, Crikey, can relax with her babies. Safe from area dingoes.
Okay, Chris, so you've got Nagin's story of a man getting pantsed by an escalator during a big day at work, Brian's story of a man getting stuck in quicksand on a first date, and from Luke, a woman who finds out that the monster under her bed is actually a sinkhole. So which one do you think is real? I think I'm going to go with Luke's because it sounds more realistic. He's hoping I'm not wrong. Okay, so your choice is Luke's story about a misadventure in Australia.
To find out the correct answer, we spoke to a reporter covering the real story. There are probably easier ways to get a girlfriend than getting stuck in quicksand. That was Kara Berg of the Detroit News talking about the quicksand romance. I'm so sorry, Chris, but Brian had the real answer. You got to go with your heart. You got to go with your heart. And that's how you should think about your law school finals.
Chris, I'm sorry you didn't win, but you did earn a point for Luke. So thank you so much. And now the game we call Not My Job. Brian Tyree Henry is an Oscar, Emmy, and Tony-nominated actor who first came to national attention playing the rapper Paperboy in FX's Atlanta. Since then, he's been a superhero, a transformer, and in his new show, Dope Thief, a small-town grifter pretending to be a DEA agent. Thank God I flushed all my drugs before the interview started.
Brian Tyree Henry welcome to wait wait don't tell me I didn't flush mine so that's That's all. Oh, great. Okay. I'll have my toilet burp mine back up then. Please don't ever say that sentence again. Brian, I wanted to ask, you've been nominated for an Oscar, a Tony, and an Emmy. So my next question was... How does it feel to achieve the pinnacle of cinematic success, by which I mean voicing Smokey Bear? Hahaha! To be honest with you, it feels like the role I was born to play.
I truly love going to national parks shirtless as often as possible. So I feel like it was a method acting gig for me. You know, I just realized Smokey the bear did not have a shirt on If you look at him recently, he's gotten quite buff. I was like, is that for me? Listen, you joke, but I literally wrote down the question, are you the reason Smokey Bear is hot now? I hope so. It better be. Okay, wait, going off of this though, I did have a question.
Merry, Kiss, Kill, Smokey Bear, Paddington Bear, and Winnie the Pooh. Okay. Mary, I would say Mary Smokey for the benefits. You can get it to any national park you want, so clearly. Right, right. Mary... I would kiss Paddington because, you know, he deserves it. And he'll taste like marmalade. So that's that. Nice. And you got to kill Winnie because put your pants on.
I have another question, which is that you've been in Transformers, The Eternals, and Spider-Man. These are all huge franchises, and I wanted to rewind all the way back in time and ask... Do you remember what your very first role was? Yes, embarrassingly enough, I was Santa Claus in my preschool production. I don't even know what this play was about, but I remember I had like a cotton ball beard, you know, when they glued this beard together.
And, you know, all the parents were there. And I was the final part of this Christmas play. And I'm playing Santa Claus. I have Mrs. Claus with me. And we've been rehearsing all week and literally as it comes to me. I pull my beard down and go to my teacher off the side of the stage and I go, what's my line? Which in a photo that my mother captured, you can see this woman full of rage going. Christmas Brian People that like what's my motivation like what's my motivation?
And here I am now, a Tony in the hospital. He's like, he's like, ho, ho. Line. Line. Yeah, it was great, but I nailed it, just to be very clear. Well, now when you do win an Oscar, you have to start off your speech by saying, Merry Christmas. Merry, what's my line? Yeah. I also wanted to ask about a different role, which I read about and I wasn't sure if it was a rumor. Is it true that you played a tree in Chekhov's The Three Sisters?
Who sent you? I did. It definitely humbles you. And my only line in that play was what? I was like, well, at least this tree gets to speak. At least there's some depth there. Did you always remember your line in that one? Oh, man, I must have been on so many drugs at that point. I don't remember. Yeah, I wonder if your line was actually what or if that's what you said because you couldn't remember. That's what I said. Both can be true, honestly. Both can be true. Nuance.
Going off of that, I wanted to ask, you've been a part of so many iconic projects, both on stage and on screen. What are you most recognized for when you're out in the world? I believe there's a black person on this panel. Did I hear you? Yeah, it's me. I'm here. Wait, wait, don't tell me. It's this guy. Paperboy. Always. I mean, I could be in the. in places where there's a population of 300 people and somebody
is going to scream paperboy at me. But it's changing. It's changing. I went to my local grocery store not too long ago because, yes, I like to buy my own groceries everywhere. And this woman was like, hey, I just want you to know that I just want to know, are you the actor from Dope Thief? And I threw my arms around. I was like, thank you. Thank you so much. Yes, I am. Thank you so much.
So it's all shifting, but paper boy is usually the thing that were you at? Was it the grocery? Was it Irwan? It was Sprout. Oh, we make fun! How dare you? How dare you? Irwin! All right. All right, Brian, Tyree, Henry, we've actually invited you here to play a game that we're calling... BTH. BTS. That's right. You are Brian Tyree Henry, BTH, so we're going to ask you about one of the biggest bands in history, BTS.
So answer three questions about the K-pop icons, and you'll win our prize for one of our listeners. Bill, who is Brian playing for? Britain, the Trinite of Round Rock, Texas. Bless your heart for thinking I'll know any of these answers, but let's go. Okay, here's your first question. After forming in 2010, BTS became one of the biggest bands in the world. They're so popular that which of these is true? A. They were the only band that Pope Francis had on his iPod.
B. The crowds at BTS concerts are so loud that the noise is faintly detectable from space. Or C. Almost 1 in 10 visitors to South Korea go there for BTS-related reasons. I'm gonna say the last one, one in 10 go to Korea. NPR reported that BTS adds $5 billion annually to South Korea's economy. Wow. What can K-pop do for you? All right, Brian, here's your next question. BTS thinks a lot about their lyrics, so much so that they do what before recording them?
A, run them by a women's studies professor. B, have their official fan account send out definitions for any particularly big words. And C, make sure they sound just as good screamed out loud or whispered to yourself alone in your bedroom. Well, the last one I do myself, so yes. I'm going to say the second one about having someone look up the words that... Do you want to guess again? I only want to be on games that gaslight me like this one. Thank you Okay, the third one.
Listen, I'm going to give you one more guess. Merry Christmas. Okay, the first one. That's correct. Yay! All right, here's your last question. Fans were worried about the future of BTS because all South Korean men are required to complete a year and a half of military service before the age of 28. So as BTS neared their deadline, the government got involved. How? They negotiated a special two-year truce with North Korea to make sure BTS would stay safe.
B, they passed a special law allowing anyone to defer their service as long as they're in a hit K-pop band. And C, they amassed a, quote, strategic BTS song stockpile. Refer their service? That's correct! After a bit of deferring for a world tour, all of the BTS members have since enlisted. So Bill, how did Brian do on our quiz? Brian, you did great. You got them all right. You're a winner.
Are you sure you don't want to ask what your line is just to be safe? Brian Tyree Henry is starring in Dope Thief on Apple TV+. Brian, thank you so much for joining us on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. You crush me. Just a minute, find out what happens when BFF meets PU. In our listener limerick challenge, call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us on air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR. Do you remember when discovering a new artist felt like finding buried treasure?
At All Songs Considered, NPR's music recommendation podcast, we put that kind of magic back into discovering new tracks. We're here to make the hunt for new music easy, delivering you the cream of the crop from every genre. We'll help you make music feel fun again, only on All Songs Considered from NPR. The scary new movie Sinners from the director of Black Panther finds Michael B. Jordan playing twin brothers.
It's got vampires, it's got great music, and it's a fun one to see with a big crowd. This is the most excited I've been about a movie in a very long time. We'll tell you why you should see Sinners on the biggest... Listen to the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast from NPR. DEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Bill Curtis. We're playing this week with Nageen Farsad, Luke Burbank, and Brian Babylon.
And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Karen Big Dog. Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, there ain't no party like a limerick party, because why would you have limericks at a normal party, you nerd? So if you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. But right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Brian, this is exciting. Scientists say they've discovered a new color.
And if you want to see it, all you have to do is what? This has nothing to do with mushrooms, right? Here's a hint. Yeah. It involves a laser and the last thing you should ever do with a laser. Oh, yeah, it's called, well, in my neighborhood, they call it, like, lightsaber syndrome. But it's like, you're not supposed to look into a laser. Do you live on the Death Star? You're not supposed to look straight into a laser. I'll give it to you. That's correct. Thank you. Shoot a laser into your eye.
So scientists have discovered a new color, and all you have to do to see it is to shoot a laser into your eye. So what is the color called blind? Oh, man, blind. This is a good question because the color is called Olo for Olo, my eyes. How did blind Brian get his nickname? You know what? If you ever want to go YOLO, just see OLO. Yeah, right? Yeah. Yeah, I honestly, though, apparently the color is supposed to be like a blue-green.
Which, I gotta be honest, I don't think it should count if the brand new color can be described by two pre-existing colors. And who told them that? Like, what? I'm saying, like, what test subjects? All right, you ready? Yeah, ready. Okay, what do you see? Blue, green? I don't know. But also, they're like, it's a color I've never seen before. Like, how do they know? Worth it. I've seen blue, green. I don't need it.
That's a good point. I really want them to find a new color and be like, this one is spiky. Okay, Nagin, this week, the Wall Street Journal reported that now more than ever, Americans are no longer giving each other what? Can I get a hint? Yeah, a hint is that only 20% of my friends call me Big Dog anymore. Oh, nickname. That's correct.
Nicknames. Wait, there's like a decline in nicknames? Yeah, nicknames appear to be on the decline, partly due to young people being very mindful about building their professional presence online. Which is kind of good practice, right? Because you don't want your interviewer's first question to be... So do you prefer Elizabeth or Pizza Slut 35? But luckily, nickname levels remain high among Little League baseball teams, construction sites, and bodegas where the owner just calls you boss.
Are you saying this is bad for my longtime friend, Camaro Kev? In my friend group, everyone had a dumb nickname. What was yours? Luke. And that's what was most hurtful. My parents gave it to me. So my husband had a friend group in college where every single person had a nickname as well. And it's funny because to this day, I don't know their real name. So I just refer to these people like...
oh, are you going to call up baby hairs and see what he's doing this weekend? What's your boy Jeans up to? Like, they were also weird nicknames that, like, didn't make sense, like, out of context. Baby hairs is definitely the nickname for Peter Sakel. Moving on. Nobody tell him I said that. Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank. But first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-wait-wait. That's 1-888-924-8924.
You can see us most weeks here at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago or catch us on the road. We'll be in Portland, Maine on June 26th and 27th and at Tanglewood in Western Massachusetts on August 28th. For tickets and info to all our live shows go to nprpresents.org. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hey, this is Celine calling from Steamboat Springs, Colorado. Wow. Welcome. Steamboat Springs. Yeah, Steamboat Springs is such a lovely name. It feels like a city from a picture book.
Yeah, and, you know, Steamboat's a great place for, you know, a landlocked mountain town. Well, welcome to the show, Celine. Bill Curtis is going to read you three news-related limericks with the last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly on two limericks, you're going to be a winner. So here's your first limerick. To my brain, a sweet signal you send. It's a pizza and late night talks blend.
It's that wonderful sense of letting me vent. Thank you for being a... Friend? Yes. That's correct. According to scientists, a person's smell can be more influential than their personality when you're deciding to be their friend. I can see how that could work on like a subconscious level, but someone audibly smelling me is not my secret to friendship. Yes.
This would give a show like Sex and the City such a different look if they were sitting around having brunch and sniffing each other. And being like, no, thank you, Samantha. And then they were like, at that... Point, I realize. Mr. Big smelt great. Celine, here's your next limerick. If your car is nearby, maybe you should check her. He's a mirror and shiny car hood wrecker. Lots of damage occurred from this hard-headed bird. Now our town lives in fear of a...
Woodpecker? That's correct. An ornery woodpecker has destroyed over 20 car windows and mirrors in Cape Ann, Massachusetts. He's pecking windows, glass, metal. He's not a woodpecker. He's just a pecker. Wait, where is this pecker now? I think it's still there. So he's just out like ravaging the town. I assume at this point, the mayor of the town. Yes. Under Cape Ann law, he is now the mayor. All right, Celine, here is your last limerick. Viral infections are dumb.
But the thought of a shot leaves me numb. They don't yet have slurpees for flu or for herpes. I will chew on this germ killing. Gum. That's correct. Scientists at the University of Pennsylvania have developed a chewing gum that helps fight against viral infections like influenza. Its working title? Juicy flu The gum is made from a kind of bean that contains a protein that essentially traps viruses. So in the lab, this gum neutralized two strains of flu and two strains of herpes.
So if your spouse is always coming home late chomping on gum whenever they're working late I've got some bad news for you. Wait. So you, and you can chew it like all the time or how does it like Nicorette or just, or you just do it like, or you do it like the, like a vaccine you do, you just chew on it once a year. Oh, I think it's like pretty often. So every time you kiss somebody, you're like, uh, muah, choo, choo, choo. That's the slogan for the gum choo choo choo
Bill, how did Celine do? She did wonderfully. Three in a row, Celine. Good going. Celine, thank you so much for playing. Yeah, thanks for having me. Yay! Climate change is drying up some water supplies and making others undrinkable. That's why Here and Now Anytime is covering the hunt for fresh water. From a pipeline in the Great Lakes, to the science of desalination to extreme recycling that turns sewage into clean drinking water. That's Here and Now Anytime, a podcast from NPR and WBUR.
Imagine if you will, a show from NPR that's not like NPR. a show that focuses not on the important but the stupid. which features stories about people smuggling animals in their pants and competent criminals in ridiculous science studies. And call it Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me because the good names were taken. Listen to NPR's Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Yes, that is what it is called wherever you get your podcasts. At NPR's Pop Culture Happy Hour, we sort through
some recent TV comedies we really like that you don't want to miss. And we'll tell you where to watch them in one handy guide. Listen to the Pop Culture Happy Hour podcast from NPR. Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can, and each correct answer is worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores? McGee and Brian each have two. And Luke...
is skyrocketing at four. What? Whoa. That's what that bluff will do for you. Doesn't make any sense. I know. All right, Nagin and Brian, you're tied. So Nagin, I'm just going to arbitrarily say you're up first. Great. the clock will start when I begin your first question fill in the blank On Monday, Marco Rubio unveiled plans for a massive reorganization of the blank department.
Oh, the hair and makeup department at the State Department. Right, the State Department. On Wednesday, long-serving Illinois Senator Blank announced plans to retire. Dick Durbin. Right. This week, health officials warned that if vaccination rates continue to decline, the US could see millions of new cases of blank. Measles. Right. This week, a couple in Pittsburgh got married at their dream location, blank.
A quicksand thing. Not far. The mosh pit of a cannibal corpse show. Oh, I was going to say that. On Wednesday, Olympic gymnast Blank won her fourth World Sportswoman of the Year award. Oh. Simone Biles. Simone Biles. This week, NASA celebrated the 35th anniversary of the blank telescope. Hubble. Right. After celebrating a bachelor party, a man in Ireland spent the next three weeks trying to blank.
Annul his wedding. Trying to remember where he parked. After parking his car, the man went out, partied, and completely forgot where it was. searching one neighborhood at a time. Thankfully, he's now found the car just in time to get wasted at the wedding reception and lose it all over again. Bill, how did Nagin do? Five right, ten more points. Tuttle to twelve puts her in the lead. All right, Brian, you're up next. Fill in the blank.
On Wednesday, Russia launched a new wave of drone attacks on blank. Ukraine. Right. According to a new study, nearly half of US teenagers say that blank has a negative effect on their mental health. Social media. This week, the White House denied Arkansas's request for federal aid to help people affected by blanks. The flutter tornado. Right. On Tuesday, rescue workers in New Jersey warned that a blank in the southern part of the state had expanded to cover over 8,500 acres. Fire.
In a huge rule change, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences said that members need to blank before voting for the Oscars. Watch the damn movie. That's correct. Kenyan Runner. Faith Kipyagon announced she would attempt to become the first woman to break the four-minute blank this summer.
On Thursday, the 2025 blank draft began in Green Bay, Wisconsin. Go Bears, NFL. Right. This week, a man in Indonesia escaped with only minor injuries after he drove off an uncompleted bridge because blank. Bogus ass Google Maps. That's correct. Because Google Maps told him it was the fastest route. It is. To a stairway to heaven. Even though he crashed into the road below and then ran into a whole bunch of trees, the man escaped with pretty much no injuries.
Then really bad stuff happened after the ambulance driver that picked him up was like, don't worry, I know a shortcut. All right, Bill, how did Brian do? For the first time in 10 years, I'm... Honored to say that Brian... So how many does Luke need to win? eight to win. All right. Okay, Luke, this is for the game. As part of their ongoing battle, Blanca University filed suit against the White House this week. Harvard. Right.
On Tuesday, the International Monetary Fund warned that Trump's trade war was putting the world closer to a global blank. Recession. Right. This week, the White House proposed tariffs of up to 3,500% on solar panels from blank. China. Right. According to a new report, blank pollution levels are getting worse across the U.S. Air. Right. After being accused of stealing over $200,000, a bank employee in Arkansas defended herself by saying blank.
I was trying to buy my baby a new tooth. That she was just borrowing the money. Citing a loss of journalistic independence, the executive producer of CBS's blank resigned. 60 minutes. Right. On Wednesday, human runners competed against 20 blanks in a half marathon in China. Robots. After a driver accidentally drove away with a woman's kid still asleep in the backseat, Uber refused to connect the woman and the police with the driver, but they did blame.
Hire the kids. They did offer her a $10 credit for a future ride. I first want to say everyone in the story is okay, and the police got the girl back safe and sound, no problem. And I just want to say that nothing says we're sorry like a $10 credit for a future ride. Oh, wait, I'm so sorry. That's in Canadian dollars. So a $7 credit for a future ride. Bill, did Luke do well enough to win? Six right, 12 more points, total of 16. It was close, but not a win. Brian is the champion! Yeah!
In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists to predict who will be the surprising new Pope. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions' Doug Berman, Benevolent Overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman. Our tour manager is Shana Donald. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre.
BJ Lederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Dornbos, and Lillian King. Special thanks to Mohanad Elshecki and Monica Hickey. Additional production from Peter Tensy Weetsy Dog Gwyn. Emma Choi is our Vibe Curator. Our Jolly Good Fellow is Hannah Anderson. Technical Direction, Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our production manager is Robert Newhouse.
Our senior producer is Ian Chilag. And the executive producer of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is Mike Danforth. Now, panel, who is going to be the next pope? Brian Babylon. It will be Pope GPT. Nagin Farsad. Taking a page from The Daily Show and MSNBC, the papacy will have a rotating cast of popes changing every night of the week. And Luke. In a move both Vatican ownership and the fans will immediately regret. And if any of that happens, we'll ask you about it on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
and Luke Burbank, and thanks to all of you for listening. I'm Karen Chi, filling in for Peter Sagal, and we'll see you next week. Karen Chi! Karen Chi, everybody! Karen Chi! This is NPR. Keeping up with the news can feel like a 24-hour job. Luckily, it is our job. Every hour on the NPR News Now podcast, we take the latest most...
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