It’s Spooky Season! So very spooky! Pick out a favorite bone and go to town in the graveyard! Just make sure you have a tight skele-five when you come out of your coffin. First impressions are important! Otherwise, you’re going to get laughed out of the graveyard and that’s your new home!! Aaron Littleton is… Read more S7:E32 – “Spooky Scary Skeletons”
What is a concept anyway? Is it just making a hit song, getting a few people and a vehicle together on a backdrop to shoot a music video and posting it on youtube for all to see? Or is it the commentary on the whole process that’s the real art? Neither. It’s the work you… Read more S7:E31 – Khesari Lal Yadav “Bihar Me Hoi” Music Video
There was a time in America where you could pay you way anywhere with two options: Money or Rob Schneider movies. Most people would prefer the money, sure, but the Rob Schnieder movies were a tradable commodity where you could get two or upwards of three dollars for it at various shops. 82 minutes of… Read more S7:E30 – “The Animal” Trailer
The can will follow you home. You have a forged a contract with it. It is beyond your control. It is a shadow, the true self. You desire to devour it. It desires to be devoured by you. Consume your desires. Become one with them. It is time. Persona 6 is wild, y’all. John Hurst… Read more S7:E29 – Chef Boyardee – “Rolling Can” Commercial
The Hento Automatic Fried Rice Machine waits for noone. You want rice/noodles made? You damn better be around to catch it. It’s got shit to do! It can’t be waiting for you! The Hento Automatic Fried Rice Machine has places to be! It’s got to get home to its wonderful house and wonderful Hento Automatic… Read more S7:E28 – Video of Automatic Fried Rice Machine
It’s time to demagnetize your stuff! And if doesn’t need to be, let’s magnetize it anyway! It’s fun, it gets the whole family involved and who knows, it might become your job until it is phased out completely by modern technology! Embrace it while you still can! The sea is calling! Not the ocean! John… Read more S7:E27 – Old CRT Hyundai 15G Degaussing
The mission is totally impossible, right? Maybe? It seemed pretty doable to me. You get a face making machine and you can fight communism like all damn day. You ride a motorcycle, you sneak into a boat, you get Peter Graves to help type you with your novella and you’re home before you can discard… Read more S7:E26 -Mission Impossible (1989) TV Opening
Can the coach that brought the 1985 Chicago Bears bring your local soda brand to victory? Schweggman thinks so! Don’t worry about potentially food poisoning! Mike Ditka will solve your problem while you’re in agony! As long as it’s a sport and it involves coaching. If it doesn’t, sorry, Big Shot Soda and Mike Ditka… Read more S7:E25 – Mike Ditka Schweggman’s Big Shot Soda Commercial
We don’t know a damn thing about clams or clam juice. We’re never going to get our inheritance at this rate! Can we partake? We… Just… Don’t… Know! Better watch this one on loop to see. Aaron Littleton is your host this week and he’s recording the second take right now. John Hurst is your… Read more S7:E24 – Clam Juice (Commercial School Movie) (Made for TV)
Everybody! It is unequivalably required by you, the consumer, to move your feet and move your body! Preferably in a direction that leads to the local tanning salons where you will find great deals on ways to get a tan that does not involve (too much) of the sun! Please enjoy our salad bar. Or… Read more S7:E23 – Junior Senior – Move Your Feet Music Video
It’s tough being Mr. T. You got to act tough all the time. Wear the chains. Yell at a dude bro. Drive in a tank. Throw a snickers at some wimp. It wears down on a person. Noone asks if Mr. T wants a snickers. He can only distribute. Sure he could go into the… Read more S7:E22 – Mr. T Snickers Commercial
Hello. Welcome to Californication. We hope you enjoy our new open beta. Please keep all hands and feet inside the ride as we introduce you to four shirtless dudes who are both shirtless in fantasy and reality. Adding a shirt to these individuals is not allowed. Especially for Flea. He’s got us this sweet Silicon… Read more S7:E21 – Red Hot Chili Peppers – Californication Music Video
YOU MISERABLE, MANIC MONSTER! How dare you turn these cars into humans! Humans who can barley crush things like that of a monster truck! I wanted to see monster trucks crushing the spirit of American muscle cars! Not these mom jean wearing fools! Those thighs could barely crush an apple juice carton! Now, Grave Digger… Read more S7:E20 – Monster Wars – Grave Digger vs Carolina Crusher
Party People! Are you ready to jam? Jock Jam, even? Maybe even to slam for four points in tiny basketball? Tag Team is back again. We’re back too. We’re all hanging out at the combination tiny basketball court/50s diner together. Maybe you could join us too? It’s there. Where it is. You know. Whomp. Whomp,… Read more S7:E19 – Tag Team – Whoomp! (There It Is)
It is time for teenage drama and smooches and aliens and smooches. We got it all here! All the food groups needed for a late night not quite cable network! You need a young actor looking away at a camera dramatically? We got it! No charge! Roswell’s just that kind of show. Maybe. We haven’t… Read more S7:E18 – Roswell S2 Opening Credits
Heatsinks are in everything. They’re nice. Make a good sound when you drag your finger across them. Have a good feel too. Pleasant to look at. Cools your CPU and other tech thingies. How can you go wrong? And they look delicious when they’re being made too. Tantalizing. Maybe you can just rip off one… Read more S7:E17 – 양산 진행(mass production) customer U.S.A
Your destiny awaits you. Calling to you. Hoping you will respond to its texts. You’ve held it back for long enough while lying awake at night, staring blankly at the familiar ceiling that clouds your dreams. Are you picking the deck shoes… Or the penny loafers? Your feet desire comfort and safety, but also fashion.… Read more S7:E16 – Radio Radio “Dekshoo” Music Video
Is there anything less enticing that a non-alocholic ad for a day of significance Americans love to alcohol it up on? Sources say no. Everyone says no. But Party City says maybe? We’re not sure if they said yes. They clearly hired actors to act like they’re having a party so they’re trying their best.… Read more S7:E15 – Party City “Cinco de Mayo” Commercial
Wake Up! There’s a complete breakfast to be had! You must consume it now. Make it uncomplete! Nabisco Brands depends on you for the profit forecast! We rented three bear suits and one of them will not give theirs back! We hired him on as staff as a barter for getting the suit and our… Read more S7:E14 – Teddy Grahams Breakfast Bears Cereal Commercial
You know the song. It’s stuck in your head now. We don’t need to do anything else to describe it. Babies come out of the womb and their first immediate sounds are dun dun dun dun dun in rapid succession. That’s the kind of guy Funky D the DJ King is. Oh, wait. You said… Read more S7:E13 – Darude – Sandstorm
“What a lovely place you have!” your guests says as they sip the cup of tea you provided. You glance around nervously. Yes, it’s nice. You bought it. You know it. You just don’t know if it could be… Inside enough. The walls are all there as is the roof. But the windows are a… Read more S7:E12 – Giant Swan Stuffed Animal Toy with Long Neck
The lullaby plays again. The occurrence begins again. It’s loop three. You’re back in your younger self. This time, you memorized all the great steps. The lotto numbers, the grunge era, the beanie baby fad. It’s all there in your head. You simply need to tell someone and convince them that this time around you… Read more S7:E11 – Puffalumps Toy Commercial
The house stands victorious. It shares its walls with living things, but it is not owned by those constricted by the mortality of flesh. It is in control and the people that temporarily reside in its belly know it. They cannot place things normally. Where the thing goes, goes. To move it or attempt to… Read more S7:E10 – GMod map preview: gm_8800blr
Good News, Jamiroquai ! You don’t have to pay taxes ever again! We’ll get the the hat squad to do it for you! As long as they don’t take the hat off, you’re in the clear. You want to make the hat your thing? It’s your thing, isn’t it? We don’t have to ask. We… Read more S7:E9 – Jamiroquai – Virtual Insanity Music Video
Bush’s Baked Beans has a secret recipe but they’re happy to show you the spices just like other secret brands. But they’re all too sweet! Why are they so sweet?! So baked?! So homestyle? Anyway, none of them are going on the toast. Or all of them. We’re going to find the right bean eventually.… Read more S7:E8 – Bush’s Baked Beans Commercial
Encase your pocky in a glass. Stick it in the freezer. Wait however long you wait for things to get cold. Open the freezer. Eat the pocky. Repeat. Forever. Submit to the Mikugeddon. The Mikudon. The Wooly Mikueth. Just don’t enter the RESTRICTED ACCESS area. John Hurst is your host this week and he can… Read more S7:E7 – Hatsune Miku Frozen Pocky Commercial
The orchestra is tuning up. They’re ready. They watch the artist intently, waiting for the first stroke. A ellipses. A circle? A perfect circle? Not for this. We only need two half circles here. Maybe a C. Slightly off. Shaded with a sheen. Glorious. The Face on Mars looks on intently, but innocently. Will the… Read more S7:E6 – Sony Playstation 3 Intro
Get a bunch of mascots. Make them play the wrong sport for a while. Kill some time. Noone is missing anything. Get your beer. Catch up with an old friend at the game. Pour that extra nacho cheese on. Look, that mascot fell down. Isn’t that silly? Okay, it’s only a little silly. They’re trying… Read more S7:E5 – Minor league baseball mascots play basketball
The Weekly World News! It was the most interesting thing on the checkout counter for the brief time you’re up there! You eyes would briefly look at that instead of the deal on Buy 2, Get 1 Snickers and you would learn a thing or two about absolutely nothing. Then the cashier would get your… Read more S7:E4 – “1985 Weekly World News” Commercial
How much money would it take to win one thousand dollars from a 1-900 number? How much of your friends money? Can they rap? Can you rap? Doesn’t matter. Bad rap or no, you still have money to give! Or your parents money! Money that you could use to buy Land or Time and your… Read more S7:E3 – Be A Star Hotline Commercial
