We are not immune to the siren call of E3. Traffic, there for the taking and desperately needed, is locked only behind one’s ability to produce proper SEO-focused content to rise to the top of the Google search results. As such, behold: everything you need to know about The Elder Scrolls VI teaser trailer. We… Read more S2:E40 – The Elder Scrolls VI Teaser
Jun 15, 2018
Some years ago, noted man Nick Divers posted this video to Instagram and Tumblr and marginally increased the value of this communications medium known as the internet. Featuring a wayward burger plastered to a rain slick window while Hoku’s sugary pop jam “Perfect Day” blasts in the background, the video invites all who view it… Read more S2:E39 – On This Perfect Burger
Jun 08, 2018
I’m sure…I’m sure the Mathnasium advertising department meant well. I’m sure someone very intelligent thought these animated characters would help kids connect with math. I’m sure, somewhere along the pipe, the designs were created by someone who knew a thing or two about art and approved by someone who only had the best of intentions… Read more S2:E38 – Mathnasium Transformations Commercial
Jun 01, 2018
Riding high on the success of the Playstation era Final Fantasy games, Squaresoft bet the farm on an experimental form of realistic CG storytelling about a decade before the technology was really ready for it. Highly anticipated (by nerds) and mildly panned (by the same nerds) Final Fantasy The Spirits Within was the culmination of… Read more S2:E37 – Final Fantasy The Spirits Within Trailer
May 25, 2018
Do you have a question? Is it about a computer running Windows 95? Well, the computer man is here for you. Especially if you’re a Candian child, you’re free to ask away. You get 10 seconds and you better hurry before this becomes a problem. Thanks Canadian kids’ television, for providing us with The Computer… Read more S2:E36 – The Computer Man
May 18, 2018
Your eyes flutter open, but it hardly matters. The darkness of the cabin in near complete, and the sound of waves lapping against the hull muffles all noise to a distant rumble. You struggle for a moment to determine why you have woke, but the night offers no clues. Almost unbidden, you find your feet… Read more S2:E35 – Game Genie Commercial
May 11, 2018
Were it not for the inclusion of moderately popular 80s hair metal band Cinderella, this local chili dog stand commercial might have been lost to time. Lucky for us, we were able to ply its depths to discover the dark secrets of the sausagemen and the rot that is at the core of Celebration, Florida.… Read more S2:E34 – Pat’s Chili Dogs Commercial featuring Cinderella
May 04, 2018
Shoney’s is one of the pillars that modern western civilization is built upon. Sure, you may scoff in 2018 at the idea of a late night buffet bar, but somewhere deep in the recesses of your mind, far from your smart phone and your Amazon Prime account, where your lizard brain still jumps at shadows,… Read more S2:E33 – Shoney’s Seafood Commercial
Apr 27, 2018
Karate Kid was perhaps the apex of 90s karate mania. Sure, you had your Death Wishes and your Three Ninjas, but none of them drove their karate chops so far into our collective brains as Karate Kid. As such, it was almost inevitable that it would spin off a cartoon property about…magic trophies or something?… Read more S2:E32 – Karate Kid Cartoon Opening
Apr 20, 2018
As popular nostalgia creeps ever closer to the late 90s, LFO’s “Summer Girls” lays in shadow as it waits to once again re-emerge into the sweet sunlight. That day rapidly approaching, its pale thin fingers flex in horrible mockery of humanity, grasping onto the rotting leaves and cold earth of the past that had become… Read more S2:E31 – Summer Girls Music Video
Apr 13, 2018
Hey everyone! Unfortunately, all attempts to have a new episode ready to be digested by your ears (Ew) failed this week. It was a number of circumstances but I think we all can solely blame it on the singular idea of TIME REVENGE. Time is sick of us trying to loop it and tried to… Read more Special Episode – Hercules: The Legendary Journeys! (Aaron and John Archives)
Apr 06, 2018
You stare into the void. You press “Like”. The “Like” spirals toward the center of the void, stretching and elongating as if drawn to the infinite mass at the heart of a black hole. Time ticks by slowly as this happens, but its effects are no less potent. You try and engage with the void,… Read more S2:E30 – Ready Player One Trailer
Mar 30, 2018
For once, we attempt to use our powers for good and serious reasons: namely watching the classic Patterson bigfoot film on loop until we can suss out the truth of one of the most enduring mysteries of the 20th century! Will the secret of S. Squatch finally be revealed? What does Iowa have to do… Read more S2:E29 – Patterson Bigfoot Film
Mar 23, 2018
If NBA Jam taught me anything in life, it taught me that you definitely catch the ball on fire if you get three or more baskets in a row and that when you achieve turbo, your shoes will light up and make you go fast. So, no, NBA Jam didn’t really teach me anything. But… Read more S2:E28 – NBA Jam Arcade Attract Mode
Mar 16, 2018
Are you willing to destroy the environment so your fast food hamburger can be just slightly better? Are you ready to join the mindless masses marching behind Jason Alexander as he holds the new god aloft? As the Earth collapses into the sun, will your hot stay hot or will your cool stay cool forever?… Read more S2:E27 – McDLT Commercial
Mar 09, 2018
Tie-in music videos are nothing special, except when a hit 90s singer uses them to confess his undying love for Batman. Will Batman finally notice Seal, or will his father force him to abandon childish things and marry his cousin or whatever? We expect a job offer from CLAMP after this episode! This week, we… Read more S2:E26 – Kiss from a Rose Music Video
Mar 02, 2018
There was a time, not all that long ago, that a cable channel might consider running a three-to-four hour block of computer tech tips. That network was Tech TV and that show was The Screen Savers. Maybe it wasn’t actually that long, but in our minds, it was an endless stream of registry editing, configuration… Read more S2:E25 – The Screen Savers TV Opening
Feb 23, 2018
Did Juicy Fruit create extreme sports or did extreme sports create Juicy Fruit? Philosophers will endlessly debate the question, never bothering to learn that Juicy Fruit was first launched in 1893 and that the creation of extreme sports probably had nothing to do with the gum. This classic 80s Juicy Fruit commercial is at the… Read more S2:E24 – Juicy Fruit Commercial
Feb 16, 2018
After our abysmal math performance in the recent Beverly Hills 90210 episode, listener muteKi suggested that we might need a refresher course in very basic arithmetic and submitted this episode of MathMan, a sketch from the educational PBS show Square One. MathMan is a beleaguered Pac-Man clone who must use his short time in this… Read more S2:E23 – MathMan: Multiples of 6
Feb 09, 2018
Dragon Ball Z seems to be bubbling its way up a lot lately. Maybe it’s nostalgia, maybe it’s the new show, or maybe it has something to do with the radical sequel to Nathaniel Hawthorne’s magnum opus: The Scarlet Letter Z. Before we get there, though, we’ve got to fulfill the destiny we created for… Read more S2:E22 – Dragon Ball Z TV Opening
Feb 02, 2018
Are you ready for a show bold enough to feature teens? What if I told you they lived in Beverly Hills? Also what if they were white? And like everyone else in the show was white too. Plus, teens. Are you down? Good. Because I’m gonna blow your mind. What if I told you all… Read more S2:E21 – Beverly Hills 90210 TV Opening
Jan 26, 2018
In the era before the Gameboy, video games on the go were really something special. In the waning years after Nintendo’s little gray brick, though? Ehhh, not so much. Tiger Electronics hawked these simple LCD games for years, years, acquiring such tantalizing licenses as Mega Man, Ninja Gaiden and Skyrim. Wait, maybe not that last… Read more S2:E20 – Tiger Electronics Mega Man 2 Commercial...
Jan 19, 2018
When you can unhinge your jaws, shoot out your tongue to four feet in length and hang around with weird mutants on the playground, you only want to eat one thing: a packing peanut shaped like a paw and covered in neon cheese dust. Luckily for Frito-Lay, a subsidiary of PepsiCo and distributor of Cheetos… Read more S2:E19 – Cheetos Paws Commercial
Jan 12, 2018
Time was, Wizards of the Coast thought they might somehow break Magic: The Gathering out of its traditional nerd niche and into the cool coffee-drinking, Friends-watching, music-inventing crowds of the 90s. Through a series of commercials targeted at these socially desirable youths, Wizards wasted untold amounts of money and succeeded in doing little more than… Read more S2:E18 – Magic: The Gathering Commercial...
Jan 05, 2018
What does it cost to save the princess in less than five minutes? How many lives must be destroyed? Must the very rules of nature be bent? Can the universe even continue to exist in a single piece? For Darbian, those answers were “some practice, none, no and almost certainly.” Our answers, though? Dramatically different.… Read more S2:E17 – Darbian’s Super Mario Brothers Speedrun World Record...
Dec 29, 2017
Just in time for Christmas, we unwrap the past and take a look at one of the most infamous “event” video games ever: E.T. for the Atari 2600. Produced in such enormous quantities that even its disposal is legendary, E.T. also had a pretty sweet, if somewhat terrifying in its implications, commercial to drive sales… Read more S2:E16 – E.T. Atari Christmas Commercial
Dec 22, 2017
ThunderCats! There’s thunder! And cats! And…mummies I guess? Surprising everyone, including ourselves, we have just no recollection of what happens in the ThunderCats cartoon. As 30-something dudes on the internet, consider us sufficiently shamed. Aaron Littleton is your host for this episode and chooses the ThunderCats opening theme as the video to watch on loop.… Read more S2:E15 – ThunderCats TV Opening...
Dec 08, 2017
When the fast food wars have worn you down with endless attrition and your coffers have run dry, there’s little do to but turn to…less ethical methods of selling your products. Like hypnotic suggestion in your commercials for ice cream. Yeah Carvel, we see through your game. John Hurst is your host for this episode… Read more S2:E14 – Carvel Commercial
Dec 01, 2017
What happens if you look into space without a vacuum or a space suit? It looks EXACTLY like the Regal Cinema Feature Presentation Reel. Yes, even with the corporate sponsorships. Find out why on this week’s Video Death Loop! Aaron Littleton hosts this week, staring into the cosmic veneer of a popcorn kernel while John… Read more S2:E13 – Regal Cinemas Roller Coaster
Nov 24, 2017
Listen, when you’re a busy account executive at the biggest advertising firm in the city, you haven’t got time to do things like research. Or care. Especially when it’s for an ad for one of those “video games” your kid keeps talking about. You take a look at the artwork the client sent over, throw… Read more S2:E12 – Final Fantasy III Commercial
Nov 17, 2017