The Birthday Show

Welcome in his verdict with Center Ted Cruz, Ben Ferguson with you. We've got a few more days until Christmas, and we've got a couple of shows left. We're going to be talking about some really big issues, including I think the most shocking and that is just how.

Old Center Ted Cruz is as of today.

I did not know that I was going to have a fifty five year old elder friend.

This is senior's coffee is real. Now you can get that.

You can, I think, get assistant at the airport without even needing a medical condition for one of those walkers. Now that's exciting. I'm not going to push you through there, but I'll get someone to hold the sign up for you. What other benefits do you get? Said, I mean fifty five, fifty five?

Listen, Skippy, I'm in my forties.

I'm not forty five. I'm forty four. We are eleven years apart right now.

Laddie, you need to learn to respect your elders.

And do I need to talk louder to you? Is that what you're saying? Respecting your Sorry?

What my lawn? Okay, I said, get off my lawn at twenty five.

I will came out of the womb.

I think you came out of the womb saying get off my lawn, sir, I'm gonna I think we could call your mom right now and she would verify.

All right.

What was that Clint Eastwood movie I forget with the name where he's a crotchety old man with the like trans am, I forget.

Oh, it's a great movie. It's a great movie. Anyway.

Yeah, it's a great you know. Heidi laughs at me. Because I would drive along in Austin. This is twenty years ago, long before I was elected to the Senate. I'd drive along and I'd see protesters screaming about something, and I'd want to stop and argue with them. Yeah, she just like, just stop it, and I'm like, well, no, I don't want to, but I will say double nichol is kind of interesting. Fifty five So I am now officially eligible for AARP. Tell you what I tell all

Yes, that is true.

And by the way, when when like someone turns twenty five and you tell them they're closer to fifty than to birth, it freaks them out. I mean, I mean, it really is. It's a terrifying way of framing it. I will tell you my older sister, Miriam, nine years older than I am, when she turned thirty, so I was just twenty one. I actually called a local flower shop and I sent a bouquet of balloons to her office. And the bouquet of balloons on her thirtieth birthday, the

I just can't wait to see what new sponsors I can go. So listen, and they're gonna be like, let's see gray in. They're gonna be uh oh, hearing aids for sure. We gotta get that in here real quick. Yeah, I'm excited. I'm just opens up a whole new world to this, to this show.

I am. I cannot wait to talk about my older friends.

Yeah, yeah, I have to admit I've also been sort of a mean friend. A buddy of mine turned forty a number of years ago, and I had two presents for him. I got him some meta mucils so he'd be nice and regular, and I got him some viagraa which I knew he would never need. But I just try to try to look out for him. You know, you know you gotta be there for your friends.

This is this is amazing after all that, you know what you've given me about old miss by the way, for that, this is just this is this is the this is just Jesus giving me a gift. So happy fifty fifth birthday. Sorry I need to say that latter. Happy fifty fifth birthday over there. I'm excited for you and.

I want to congratulate on on Ole miss you see for Lane to get such a big bonus, like you guys really take care of people who leave you at the altar like hold.

I mean, you know what.

I just love that we beat Tulane by more than we did when we beat them in the regular season with him being our coach. We are in the second round. That's a big deal. And then look there's an exciting moment we'll get to play. Oh wait, no, we won't.

Get to play your team because you guys lost.

Yeah that was you know. I was at Kyle Field. It hurt.

Yeah.

So I've had two games in two days, one loss and one win. Preferred the win to the loss. Actually all right, the Aggie game yesterday was frustrating because I went to two Aggi games this year. We three. I went to the UT and M game, but I was rooting for both. I'm Switzerland on that.

So that's a smart man right there.

I love them both. But as you know, I went to the A and M Notre Dame game in South Bend, which was just spectacular. Like have you been to a game in at South Bend?

I have been to one. It's unbelievable. It was by the way, freezing, but it was awesome.

So it was beautiful when I went. It was a great fall day and just a bucket list event, like I'd never been there. You see touchdown Jesus looking over the the the end zone is pretty spectacular and and it was number one, an amazing game. It was a pure shootout. There was there was no defense on either side. It was just all offense.

Yeah, yeah, football.

And I turned to the folks I was sitting with and I said, wow, whoever has the ball last is winning? Yeah, And it ended up a m had the ball last, so we won. And I got to tell you, I was in I was in maroon. I was loud, I was obnoxious. I was cheering, cheering for the Aggies. And the Domers were the classiest fans I've ever seen. They were polite, they were gracious, both Brett both Brett Cavanugh, Amy Cony Barrett was there, and I did talk some smack at them when when Notre Dame lost, and even

I Matthew McConaughey is the only one that can probably get away with that at Kyle Field and like not get a right all right, all right, yeah, exactly, it's that guy. Okay, fine, fair enough.

So the noted game game no defense and just a pure shootout and and the Aggies had the ball last and so we won. Fast forward to Saturday, awesome defense. We went through all the half quarters with the score three to three.

I was a pause.

You were there, and everyone that's listening right now that watched that game. The number of field goals miss not by one team on both sides of the ball was insane. As I was watching on TV, it did not look as that windy.

So was it that bad? Or was it? Was it they were over compensating? What like? Was it really that windy?

Yeah, I don't I don't have a good answer on that. It didn't feel that windy in the stands. I mean, it was a beautiful day. It was just a gorgeous it was warm outside, it was it was a spectacular day for football. Now, you know the the ribbons on the end of the goalposts, they were blowing, but they weren't like sticking straight out. It wasn't like there was a hurricane in there or something. But it was like

Yeah, you'd be a static And at.

The end of the day lost ten to three. Because it turns out, if you play a football game and you can't score a single touchdown, it's really damn hard to win. And if we could take that, Notre Dame offense and the defense against Miami and actually put them in the same game. They could go the whole way.

But sadly, now, since it's your birthday, I just want you to know we will adopt you for the rest of the playoffs as a rebel.

Okay, you can. I'll bring you a shirt.

I've got a few of them, I might be yeah, I've got yeah, I've got a couple hundred of them.

I can spare one.

Okay, you need to be in I feel like you need to still be in the playoff, in the game here, and since you really don't have that, I just I want for your birthday. I don't want you to fill alone. Okay, So there's my birthday gift here.

So Ben, I'll give you some information. Tommy Tubberville, my colleague in the Senate.

Oh yeah, remember he screwed all mess back in the day.

Don't forget this, soon to be governor of Alabama. So you know, he was the coach at Auburn, and so we're we're all interested. Like at lunch this week, everyone asks him, says, you know, coach, what's gonna happen? Yeah, So Tommy has made a prediction. He is predicting Texas Tech to win it all. He says, Texas champion this year. So that's now. Look, Tommy used to coach at Tech, he used to coach at A and M and then, uh,

I got your guns up, guns up right.

There are no other Texas teams, so so so I am uh uh excited about it. And and by the way, I'm thinking of the folks that listen to us, So there's like a divide some of the folks that are regulars on our show, like like, oh, this is fun that you guys are having some fun and it's Christmas time and you're you're talking about you know what what normal people do during Christmas time, which is what foot

We went proing that. We literally went proing in.

And there's some of the politics nerds that are like, damn it, like we're not covering any substance right now. Why are you guys yabbering about the the foosball instead of instead of focusing on what's happening. And we're going to talk about what's happening in the country. There's a lot happening in the country, all right.

So I have to I have to tell you this because you're gonna laugh talking about geeking out. So I'm in a Bible study on Thursday mornings, and you know, like I'll be on the road and I'll travel and you miss and come in. And so I come in and Buddy texts me in the Bible say he's like hey, He's like you finally have another rebel. And I'm like another rebel. Like he's like, yeah, we got a new dad. That old miss guy Mike can't wait to meet him.

I walk in.

I will protect the names here, but it is like a ten year NFL Titan who went to ole miss who shows up in my Bible study. So now it's like gone completely off the chains because you just need one, right, I just needed one buddy who was in this with me. And so now like the chirping, because it's all we got a bunch of aggies, you got a bunch of TCU, you got a bunch of Texas guys.

I just needed one.

And so now we walk in like proud peacocks every day in Bible study because it's like I just needed one. I got my almost buddy. We're good to go now, and I'm like, this couldn't have been better for me. I get to go to Bible study and like you said, geek out over football.

And look, the good thing is in Bible study. There's nothing in the Bible about pride, so you shouldn't feel bad about that at all.

Not at all, not at all. By the way, did you go to church on Sunday? I'm putting on the spot here. I love doing this. This is fun for me. I went, I look for you. I didn't see you. I'm not saying you were there or weren't there. But our pastor is an aggie and he literally made sure he worked into the false idols into the servant about going to the A and M game and what happened to the AAM game, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

I have not talked to our pastor, both he and his wife or Aggies, and I'm sure that they were more morning. I was not there today. Thank you for outing me.

You're welcome. You're welcome. I did look, I looked. I know where he sits, guys, I know if he's there.

I was. And actually, our pastor texted me last night and said, hey, are you gonna be there tomorrow? Like he had somebody wanted me to meet. And I had to like fess up and say, no, we're like a lot going on. I'm sorry, we're missing it. We are, we are going. We'll be there Christmas Eve.

But we'll say there that you're gonna.

I've got my in laws coming in tomorrow and my brother in law and his wife coming in. We've got family, you know. But it uh uh. We we did not in fact go today and and and and thank you for you're welcome.

On your birthday, I just wanted God's gonna bless you. It's your birthday. You get a freebie on that one. It's fine, you're gonna You're gonna be okay.

All right, on to the geeks of the politics.

By the way, I will say this, whenever anyone has a birthday, I do actually have advice to someone. What is that ever? Want to feel young? Mm hmm, just get yourself elected to the US Senate, like cow the Median agent. You're still undred and six. I mean, they really do think I'm in short shorts and wearing a beanie. I mean, I've got colleagues.

Here's the youngest member now. I mean, you were at the bottom for a very long time. You're still in the lowest end?

Is it? Kitty Brett?

Katie's on the young side. Josh Holly's on the young side. Assoff shots. All right, Cotton, I'll tell you what. We all have supercomputers in our pockets, so.

It's very true.

Who is I love the youngest?

You went the city, You're at the big leagues, as I call it.

I don't want the youngest in all history. Although interestingly, who's the youngest center in history?

I have no idea, nor did I. Samuel White from What State born.

December seventeen, seventy died November fourth, eighteen oh nine. You have to be thirty years old when you start, and age at the start of the term. Thirty years, two months, twenty seven days.

Okay, there you go, that's young.

Okay.

Congress is twenty six or twenty seven, House twenty five. I was twenty five, okay, twenty five then then thirty six to be president.

Asoff thirty eight is the youngest senator so from Georgia. So I mentioned as Off. I knew he was in replacing Josh Holly. So what did I say? I said, Holly? So Holly who had been the youngest person at age forty one. So when I was elected to the Senate, I was forty one.

So were you the youngest that year or close?

Yes, I don't know that for sure, but I assume.

So.

All right, here's a bit of bit of trivia. How old was Joe Biden when he was elected the Senate?

Oh? He had he had to be in his thirties because he was there forever.

He was there forever. But this is actually a weird bit of trivia. Thirty four was when he was elected. He was actually twenty nine. The constitutional minimum is thirty.

But he took office he had the birthday.

He turned thirty before he was sworn in, so he was eligible by the time he was swart in, but on election day he was not old enough to be a senator.

That's there, and and and he never left.

And by the way, that was nineteen seventy two, so I was a year I had not even turned too when Biden was elected, which gives you a sense. That's what I mean by like, you get in the Senate and they're just like, fifty five does not even count. That's kindergarten and senate years.

That's it's it's incredible. Well, happy birthday fifty five. That's a big one.

By the way, there's a pecking order of senators, which is, you know, we sit next to each other in the dais and you look over and it's how big your font is and the older you are and blinder you are. I'm not gonna name, I'm not gonna out an my colleagues, but I will say.

There a solid or very big you can read from the gallery up state.

It's got to be about zoom forty points, like they're like seven words on a page. Yeah, and it's I have it a little bigger. I have sixteen point font because it makes it easier to look down and read it, but it is it's literally you could see the gradation of age by just how big your font is.

All right, final question on birthday are you?

Is your family a gift giving family or you you buy your own gift for your birthday so you know you get thing you want.

Yeah, I don't buy my own gift. And I have to admit, like as a kid, I cared about birthday gifts, I'm not really like there's not a whole lot I want. I'm a pretty happy guy. Like if there's something I really want, if I want, like, I just go buy it because I'm not you know, so so I don't know. I have yet to see my family will get me something. Maybe they'll give me a shirt or a tie or

By the way, how expensive was the PowerPoint presentation this year?

Oh? If you bought everything?

So I don't know, people, if they missed last year's show, one of your daughters does a legit PowerPoint presentation for her Christmas. Yeah, and it's a full presentation, which is awesome, And so was it was it?

Would you rate it? Did you give her? Can? Eight out of ten? How good was it this year?

So this was not as egregious as last year. Last year was insanely expensive, But this had I don't know, thirty or forty options in them.

If you got them all, you know why, you know, why don't you because the car's coming.

You know, look in the window. If you got them all, it'd be like like fifty grand. Because she'll pet like really expensive things on there, and she does not get them all. Maybe she gets five and there's some like you know at a top and some sweatpants and like we'll pick and choose and then she'll include, you know, like a nine thousand dollars necklace. I'm like, okay, that's cute. No, uh, but but she puts them on anyway. And and so, but Heidi does something even more amusing, which is she

Rap it for you.

She'll come back, she'll wrap it for her and she'll write to Heidi loved ted and she's literally has bought it. And so this year she has this like nice scarf that she saw that she really liked, that she bought and she had it wrapped it under the tree and we went I told you today to the Texans game and she decided she needed something with red in it, and so she went and unwrapped her her No, she didn't gift to wear it to the game. And I think she's gonna wrap it again end of the Open Christmas.

Like, you're welcome. Look look at who you're welcome.

If my if my kids, if my wife is listening with kids, this is when you turn it off. So this year you talk about lis So George, one of the twins. He's straight up, I mean, walked up to Santa it, you know, at the meat Santa thing.

Straight, isn't it? Like?

Walked up assertive. He's like, I want this dog. My friend has this dog. This is what this dog looks like.

Santa.

Please don't don't don't don't don't give the answer to this. I don't want to blow your kids Christmas. I'm just I'm in direct, okay, very direct.

And so then Bradley's like, okay, well, if you're going, I'm going to go my nine year old. So he walks up and he's very smart. He's like, I like to go hunting with my dad. I need a shot gun more than a red Rider, which I already have. So we took him hunting. My dad brought his shotgun that became my shotgun that now is my son's shotgun. So he got his Christmas gift early, but then he had to rewrap.

It four ten twelve gauge twenty gauge is.

So twenty gauge single shot twenty gauge. And then the second one my dad brought it, which is a pump action.

He'll get probably in a year or two.

So that but right now, So we took them duck hunting, and he was the proudest kid you've ever seen. I mean he was just sitting there with his real man shotgun with his one bullet. I was like, it's my and my brother in law is his son got one too, So we were kept calling him Barney Fife. They didn't know what it meant, but you know, they got their one bullet. Make account you got one bullet, like like you got one bullet and they had of their life.

And let's speak clear. You you owned a gun store for many years, and some of our mysters are going to be freaking out saying Ben says, shotguns, fire bullets.

Yeah that's how you met with yeah today, reporter. Yeah, it's like magazine.

I love when buck is it a clipper a magazine Like I can run circles if I want to go there, Like that's the thing. But yeah, like it's a party five five n bullet, not a shell in his pocket.

And so that was the rarest about magazine and not clip. But I don't know, I call them clips, like I don't get why it's like such a parent.

There's dorks and everything. In politics there's dorks, and sports there's dorks, and in shooting their mega doorks and and what I say is like anytime that people do that and they're like, like when I own the store, they're like, well, how many guns do you have? That's like a measuring thing, right, like how many guns you have?

Are you really? I'm like, I mean I have like three to four hundred. I mean grand they're all.

In a store, but technically I own them, right, Like you know, I was like, yeah, I've got a I've got a decent collection, three to four hundred guns.

And you know, I will say it those machine guns, but nothing big.

So when you're a center from Texas, like like, people have certain expectations of you, and so like I I hunt, but I don't really call myself a hunter because like people who go hunting like NonStop, I go hunting once or twice a year. I enjoy it. I like birds, birds with the most fun to hunt because they move and it's energetic and you're engaging.

I'm not a big deer hunter. That's I I liked.

I like to be able to talk and have camaraderie while hunting, which is bird hunting.

Yeah, now bird bird hunting. It I will say I've been like uh Cheney.

No, No, I'm very glad we can still joke about that.

Although I was actually hunting in South Texas and Alice, Texas, right by the Armstrong Ranch. So for those who don't remember this, when Dick Cheney was vice president, he went hunting. He was quail hunting and he shot a man.

Yeah uh uh.

And and the guy's name was Harry Whittington, who was a lawyer from from Austin. I knew Harry and and oddly enough I was on the Adjoining Ranch. This is down in South Texas and I was deer hunting. Uh. And I got this gives you a sense of the time over my BlackBerry, which were these devices that you used to get that you would get emails before you had smartphones.

Yeah, I saw one.

Oh. The type of the keyboard was so good.

It was so good. I would go back tomorrow if they brought it back. I really would.

So, so the headline comes vice President shoots a man, and I'm like, surely that can't be real. That's that's metaphorical, like shoots the bird at him right, No, like shotgun blasted. And it was so yes, I was. I was down there for that. And and and a joke I've told on the trail is a lot of people don't realize when that happened, there were more than two hundred phone calls to Texas Parks and Wildlife asking how much for

That that'll play. That'll play on the campaign trail for for sure.

By the way, Harry Whittick did, he had, you know, buck shot all in his shoulder. They left most of it in, and so when he would go through an airport metal detector, he'd set the metal detector off because.

He's probably shooting steel.

Yeah, yeah, Like it didn't make sense to take it out. It was healthier just to leave it in. Thankfully he survived. He was not And and I do remember thinking, you know, it would have been interesting, not in a good way, but if it had been the other way, around. If someone's hunting with the vice president and shoots the vice president, sacred service might have shot the guy dead, like like if you think about the like how the reaction would have been. Yeah, So you know, but anyway, I hunt

It's easier and it's fun.

And it's but but when I was up in South Dakota peasant hunting, it was very funny because every time, as they're like twenty guys so sort of a you know, birds would flush and you'd have just boom boom, boom boom, bunch of shotguns going off, and no matter who hit the bird, the other guys there would go nice shot senator. And I was like, wow, this is the first hunt in my life I was credited with more birds than I fired shells.

Yeah, and it just did you limited out for the first time ever.

Uh. It was a lot of fun.

So I so, you know, you know, my dad's they my family. His family is up in North Dakota, bot No, North Dakota. It's flat and there's a lot of snow geese there. So when I was I think I was six, they put me in the back of the truck. It was really cold. My uncle and my my dad's uncle. So my great uncle drives us out there. They blindfold you.

And then they tell you when to shoot.

And I shot two snow geese with one four to ten that's how how many there were in the air. Got too blindfolded and that was the fine. Every one hunting blindfolded. They blindfold you.

Let me just say, I love you, dude, but but I'm not going to be with you when you have a gun and you're shooting it blindfolded, And I'm like.

Right exactly.

But it was what a great way to get like your first hunt. Like it was it's a right of passage. But the whole field, like the the dirt up there is pitch black dark. It's I mean the soil is incredible in North Dakota, and so the whole field's white. They hit the horn and the whole field just lifted up and it went from white to black.

Okay, So story I'll tell you go back like five years ago. Glenn Youngkin is running for governor of Virginia, and Glenn is a good, good friend, and I campaigned all over Virginia with Glenn. We did so in the primary. Going into the primary, Glenn was actually in second place. He was not winning. He was in second at the time. And we ended up doing seven or eight rallies all over Virginia, just Glenn and me, the two of us,

That's pretty awesome.

You know.

That was an annual momentum campaign. At the very end, there was a well big momentum switch at the very end of that campaign, which I think is the most fun campaigns to be on.

And Virginia has this sort of curious hybrid where it's sort of a primary sort of a caucus. So there were like I don't remember, like fifty thousand people who were going to be voting in who the nominee was going to be, and we had at the rallies we were at. I think we had more than five thousand of them, so we literally had ten percent of the actual voters physically present with us within forty eight hours of election day. So it I think that rally had

Yeah, it's a bad idea if you're campaigning in Virginia to mention he lives in Virginia.

He's a Virginian. But but he does own a gorgeous ranch in hand Texas that that that I've stayed at multiple times, and it's just beautiful. It's on the Guadalupe River. And I said, all right. We were out at the shotgun range playing a game called Annie Oakley and and so Annie Oakley is is you throw up a clay and the first guy shoots, and if the first guy misses, the second guy shoots, and if the second guy hits it,

The that guy and remains nameless, keep going.

So the clay gets thrown out. Glenn shoots and misses. He's a good shot, but he missed. That one in between us is the really intense, uptight guy. He shoots, he misses. I'm third. The clay is like trailing down and I get a lucky as hell shot and I hit it. Boom, it shatters. So I tell that story, all right, I'm going to tell the listeners a verdict. Who the uptight guy was.

I cannot wait for this.

It was Paul Ryan no Way, who I think was still the speaker of the house. I believe. I don't remember the exact timing. And Paul's a great guy. Paul is a friend of mine. But he's a series hunter, like like he's one of the hunters, like like like he goes hunting in Wisconsin, he goes deer hunting and turkey hunting, and he's one of the guys that like covers himself with urine. Yeah, yeah, I'm I'm just a believer. I don't put like urine on my body. That that does not that that's not my thing.

You're not Yeah, you're not putting blood blood on yourself? Yeah, like like them? Yeah, yeah, yes, exactly.

So Ben, I will confess that I like Paul and we're friends. But but when I shot and hit and knocked both him and Glenn out, I couldn't resist. I turned to him and just deadpanned. Welcome to Texas.

Yeah, that exactly.

Listen, in Texas, there there are gazillion people who are much better shots than I am. But but I I am decent and can can hold my own. And at least that time, it was pretty fun.

That that is actually amazing.

And Paul is so if people don't know, Paul is like one of the most competitive guys no matter what you're doing. Like you remember he was competitive with like CrossFit and when he was in the house's working out like that was like he could work out harder than anybody else.

Yeah, Paul does not like to lose. That is a great way of putting it.

Well, listen, I want to say to all our Verdict listeners, We've been doing this a long time. We do it three days a week, we do it late at night. In fact, looking at all, right, it is your birthday, let's look at it. It is officially twelve o three in the morning. So as of three minutes ago, I just turned fifty five years old.

Happy birthday, I will your old mom.

My mom is ninety one. We're going to go out to dinner tonight with my mom and my dad and my whole family, and I'm going to tell my mom, wow, you're old. How do you have a fifty five year old son?

A fifty five year old Hi, he's married to a fifty five year old man.

Don't forget to remind her of that tonight.

She now to be clear, when Heidi turned fifty, you know what she did her fiftieth birthday?

Yes, I do know this, which is still insane. She's like, hey, I'm fifty, I'm gona run a marathon. Like who says that did?

She ran the La Marathon. Didn't do it on her birthday, but she did it in celebration of her birthday. So she did it a few months later and it was So my question is, you know you're not that far away from fifty, Benjamin, Are you gonna run the only marathon on your.

Fiftieth, there is no chance in help just check it. Just take that off the table.

For my fiftieth birthday, I will do something like a midlife crisis, Like I'll go buy a really cool car that's inn a manual transmission, because you know me in.

Cars, I like fast cars. That like, I'll do that. I might.

I might sign up to, like play a very legitimate fifty plus like tennis tournament where you can win a goal ball that's like the standard in like that.

I might.

I might train for that, like I'm gonna be fifty. Let's see if I can. You know, my best friend, Devil's partner from college, let's play a double's tournament together and see if we ca win a goal ball.

There you go.

I like it. That's quality. Let me just say, you know, we've got about a million regular and dedicated Verdict listeners, and if you count radio, we've got millions of listeners. Let me say to all you guys, thank you. I mean, I am an appreciate, I appreciate you, appreciate you know. This is this is like having each of you into our living room three days a week and having a conversation and sometimes Ben and I give us give each other grief. Sometimes we talk about what we're mad at about,

Guys are amazing, and I'm just glad I remembered how old you were. That's just like it's a full circle, a full circle there.

I like that.

Happy birthday, sir fifty five. Don't forget we do the show Monday, Wednesday, Friday. If you're on social media. Send a birthday message. I would put it in all caps and a larger size font it big fun, big font, big font.

Happy.

You might want to send multiple tweets like just happy then birthday, you know, like yeah, you want to do it that way. So make sure he can actually see that and read it on his phone. And we'll see you back here on Wednesday morning