27. Christian Healing and Sobriety with The Catholic Sobriety Coach, Christie Walker

And when your drinking buddies tell you that you have a problem with alcohol , you probably have a problem with alcohol because they want to keep you drinking and partying and doing the same things that they're doing , especially if you're drinking more than them and making a fool of yourself , because that makes them not feel so bad about what they're doing .

But I had this encounter with I was passed out again . I had drank so much and I passed out . I was by myself in my apartment and I remember waking up , I just like jolted out of bed and I felt like there were two hands like gripping my throat I mean , I can literally still feel it now like gripping my throat and choking me .

And I looked up and I could see like this dark figure over me , or just sense this dark figure over me and it was like strangling me and I was so scared I thought I was going to die . And then all of a sudden , like this lighter figure came over the darker figure and I just sensed it say not yet .

And then the hands were released and they were both gone and I just remember taking this gasping breath and looking around like what the heck just happened . That was the moment that I'm like , "kay , this is a problem , I need to do something . But it was also the moment that I realized like God is for me .

resorting to shopping therapy , or something even more serious like an addiction to alcohol or other interior struggles . Jesus' example shows us that the battles of the flesh can also be a battle of the soul . In Ephesians , Chapter 6 , Verses 10 to 13 , St . Paul says Finally , be strong in the Lord and in the strength of His might .

Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to withstand against the wiles of the devil , for we are not contending against flesh and blood , but against the principalities , against the powers , against the world rules of this present darkness , against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places .

Therefore , take the whole armour of God that you may be able to withstand in the evil day and , having done all to stand . Let's hear Christie Walker , "The Catholic Sobriety Coach , talk about how she struggled with alcohol addiction and how she gained freedom and faith in her journey of sobriety . Hello and welcome to the Veil and Armor podcast .

This is your host , sheila Nonato . I'm a stay-at-home mom and a freelance Catholic journalist Seeking the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the inspiration of Our Lady . I strive to tell stories that inspire , illuminate and enrich the lives of Catholic women , to help them in living out our vocation of raising the next generation of leaders and saints .

As a devoted Catholic mom , wife , life coach , speaker and podcast host in the Catholic Sobriety Podcast , she is passionate about guiding women and men toward a healthier relationship with alcohol so they can have clarity and peace . Her goal is to help women prayerfully change their mindset and break the shame , guilt and regret cycle that keeps so many of us stuck .

Christie provides tools and resources that aid in navigating social situations and discovering healthier ways to relax , connect with other moms and set boundaries . Welcome , Christie .

of different things . I would I turned to God , you know , praying that he would get them back together . But I would also turn to other things like innocent things like penny wishing , you know , like throwing a penny in a well and wishing or wishing on a star .

So I was always trying to do things and control things and make things happen for myself in any way that I could , and so I feel like alcohol was definitely one of those ways where , if I use this magic elixir , alcohol that I found in high school , it will get me everything that my teenage mind thought that I wanted so from that point um ,

I never actually consumed alcohol, quote unquote, normally , from the very first time I consumed alcohol I was hooked and I would drink as much as I could , as fast as I could , until we ran out or I passed out , and I did that pretty much until I stopped drinking .

I made the decision that I had to stop drinking or I was going to die or kill myself in a car accident or someone else or end up in jail . Like, my prospects were not looking amazing . So I just knew . I mean , I just kept seeing what was going to happen . I the in the amount that I was drinking was increasing the amount and frequency .

My friends were starting to say Christy , you have a problem with alcohol and you know when your drinking buddies tell you you have a problem with alcohol .

And you know, when your drinking buddies tell you that you have a problem with alcohol , you probably have a problem with alcohol because they want to keep you drinking and partying and doing the same things that they're doing , especially if you're drinking more than them and making a fool of yourself , because that makes them not feel so bad about what they're doing .

But I had this encounter with I was passed out again . I had drank so much and I passed out . I was by myself in my apartment and I remember waking up , I just like jolted out of bed and I felt like there were two hands like gripping my throat I mean , I can literally still feel it now like gripping my throat and choking me .

And I looked up and I could see like this dark figure over me , or just sense this dark figure over me and it was like strangling me and I was so scared I thought I was going to die . And then all of a sudden , like this lighter figure came over the darker figure and I just sensed it say not yet .

And then the hands were released and they were both gone and I just remember taking this gasping breath and looking around like what the heck just happened . That was the moment that I'm like , okay , this is a problem , I need to do something . But it was also the moment that I realized God is for me .

I had felt so much like he didn't really listen to my prayers . Maybe he was too busy , maybe I was too insignificant , I don't know that my drinking didn't really affect him or he didn't really care what I was doing or how much I drank . But in that moment I knew like God is fighting for my eternal soul .

So I wish I could say that in that moment I knew like God is fighting for my eternal soul .

So I wish I could say that in that moment everything changed and in a way it did , but I still was drinking and I was still was not , I didn't go running back to church like I should have done , but you know , it definitely was this pivotal moment that helped facilitate my recovery . And so I just kept drinking and partying , but it was different .

I felt guilty about it . I felt like this isn't right and I can't keep doing this . And that's when those thoughts that I mentioned before of like if I keep doing this , it's going to be super bad . And so one night I just decided , like this is it , I cannot do this anymore .

And so I went out and I bought like whatever I wanted to drink , as much as I wanted to drink . I drank until I passed out and I woke up the next morning and I never drank again , with God's grace , and I told God like I prayed to God . I'm like, I just have to make this happen .

And then I told other people , I told my mom about it and then she told her friend who was in AA and she helped me go to like get to my first meeting .

And I participated in AA for a couple of years but really the thing that has kept me sober this long , the thing that has kept me on track with my recovery , is God and just knowing and realizing my identity in him . Like my identity isn't that I'm a daughter of divorced parents . My identity isn't that I am an alcoholic .

My identity isn't that I'm all these things that I told myself I was . My identity is a beloved daughter of God .

so . When you were a little girl , when all of these emotions were going through you , where was God ? Where was God for you at that point ?

But I just felt like I had screwed it up so much that maybe he was mad at me . So I think that I kind of thought of him that way . Or you know , like my dad was , my dad loved me , but he wasn't around that much . He was not around and I mean I would see him , but just not very often . So I think that was my thought about God .

Like I know he loves me , Like I knew my earthly father loved me , but he just wasn't interested enough in spending much time with me or being interested in the things that I was interested , or even coming to , like my dance recitals or my high school graduation , and so I think that that's what I thought about God .

But looking back I can see how he was with me , protecting me . I mean , really , there were days I really should not be here . I should not be here , but by the grace of God , I am .

I made good money , and so I just never continued with it because I didn't feel like I needed to . But there was always kind of this inkling of like , well , maybe you should get training to work in recovery or addiction houses , homes and things like that , and it just never was something that I just didn't feel called to really do that . So I worked .

I was blessed to be able to stay home with my children and I really wanted to contribute to the family income .

I had to work part-time outside the home for a little bit when the recession hit , when my twins were very little and I hated being out of the home and missing things and not being there to help my husband and you know do the things that we would always do together , and so I was like I need to figure out a way that I can be home with my kids , and

so I started . Well , I started blogging because that was big and I got paid to blog for jewelers . I blogged for different parenting websites and things . Since I had twins , people liked to hear my story and my tips and things like that and then that evolved into digital marketing .

I had clients that would say , hey , will you manage this new thing called Facebook and will you do this type of these ads and all of that . So it just evolved as marketing and as social media evolved . But I just kept feeling this pull , like God pulling on my heart , like "I have something that I need you to do for me .

I have something that um is , you're going to use all these tools , but I'm going to need you to use them to . You know , help my daughters , help my sons , and I didn't know what that would be . I had no idea . So it was extremely frustrating for about four years of feeling like , well , should I start this blog ?

Like for Catholic parents , should I do this ? Should I do that ? I just tried all these things like throwing spaghetti at a wall . Nothing was really panning out . So finally I hired a Catholic business coach and she I with the intention of really honing in on my digital marketing business , building that up and just going full into that .

And through her coaching and through that process , I was like I think God's calling me to life coaching . She's like great , who are you going to coach ? And I'm like I don't know , I have no idea . She's like why don't you take that to coach ? And I'm like I don't know , I have no idea .

She's like why don't you take that to the Lord , why don't you pray about it ? And I was like okay , so I prayed about it and I got all these ideas . And then one night God was just like I need you to coach Catholic women who are in recovery . And it kind of it was simultaneous with me celebrating my 25th sobriety anniversary .

My mom had given me a coin for that . So I remember kind of looking at that and I think that's what prompted that conversation with God , like that's not just for you anymore , like you need to share that . And it just you know how God

just lays out all those holy breadcrumbs and as long as you're paying attention and picking them up , it'll lead you to where you want to go or where he wants you to go . And that's exactly what happened .

It just , instead of feeling like I was fighting for everything and doing all this stuff , it just became so clear and so easy to be able to talk about what I wanted to do and who I wanted to help , and so it did start with people in recovery like me .

But then and I do have a lot of those clients , because once we quit drinking , everything doesn't get magically better Like once you quit drinking . There's still a lot of things that have to get cleared up Relationships , finances , how do I go to a party when I'm not drinking ? And all of these things .

But pretty soon God was just placing these beautiful women in front of me , who were great moms , great wives . They actually have really amazing lives . But they're struggling with something that they feel like they can't tell anybody about , and it's their alcohol consumption .

They feel so alone and they feel like they're broken and they almost feel like why am I not grateful ? Why am I not just so happy all the time ?

But it's because they have that weight , they have that stronghold of alcohol that's just kind of gripping their hearts and causing a lot of chaos in their lives and it's creating shame , shame that really shouldn't even be there . They don't need that , but they have it , you know . And God just said like I want . I want them free .

I want them free to be able to know that in those situations they don't need to turn to this , this bandaid fix on a gashing wound right , if you have a gashing wound and you stick a bandaid on it , that is not going to do anything Like you have to treat the root cause .

You have to get to the root of the why and the issue so that it can be fixed , and we can't do that with alcohol . Alcohol doesn't have the answers . Alcohol just compounds the problem . It compounds the misery . Yes , for moments it is an escape . It's that feeling of like I have control over something , like you have control over what goes in your mouth .

It does provide that relaxing sensation . It affects our neurotransmitters in that way . But as soon as that buzz wears off , you're left with all that mess plus . Now you feel terrible about yourself . Maybe your kids saw you acting , not like you want them to see you act . Maybe you missed something that you were supposed to go to .

Maybe you're hiding bottles of wine because you don't want your husband or your friends to know how much you're actually drinking . And so there's like this , this sense of just like I am not a good person or I am a fraud , and that is so not the case .

So God just placed these women in front of me and I just fell in love with them and want them free , because that's what God wants for them . I think God just gave me his heart for them so that I could look at them and be like daughter , you are beloved . You are not what you have done . You are not what you do .

You are who God says you are and you're beloved . And I think that that is like the key message that he wants me to hammer home to everybody is just like no judgment , don't look at it (like) judgment . Don't be condemn yourselves . The Lord is there to help you , walk with you , love you , guide you . He's merciful , and yeah .

So I just think , and that's why that's why I needed to be a Catholic sobriety coach and not just a sobriety coach , cause I could just be a sobriety coach and help all kinds of people , but that's not what God wanted me to do . He's like bring my daughters , bring my daughters home , cause I want to heal them , I want them free .

I do it with other things , but instead of turning to God , sometimes we turn to comfort , the comfort that the world offers us , and so that's what is easy , that's the quick fix , but that's not

what God wants , like , he wants us to turn to him , he wants us to rely on him , and that is where we're going to get the sustained change . So , yes , I feel so called to this and I know that this is what God was equipping me for and prepping me for for all those years .

And the thing is , Sheila , a lot of the women that I work with , they are not addicted yet , like , they have this attachment , this disordered attachment , to the alcohol and they are freaking out a little bit inside or kind of beating themselves up , especially if they grew up in a family where alcoholism was a thing , where it was modeled for them , and they are

scared of , like , could this happen to me and the answer is alcohol , any addiction . But alcohol addiction can happen to anybody . You don't have to have a predisposition , you don't have to have it running in your family . It can happen to anyone because alcohol , the substance itself , is an addictive substance .

It is a psychoactive drug , so it can happen to anybody . But here's the good news when women start thinking like this is causing an issue , this is causing chaos .

I need to figure out how to get a handle on this and if they can do it before it gets to the point of addiction , it is so much easier to be able to figure out can I moderate , how much can I moderate , or do I need to eliminate it completely ? And that's a lot of the work that I do .

And then to answer your question about men Now , I just have a heart for women and I am a woman . Answer your question about men Now , I just have a heart for women and I am a woman , and so I really just work mainly with women , but I do have male clients as well .

So I always do inquiry calls and if we're a good fit , then , whether it's a man or a woman , catholic man or woman , then I do work with them , and I do have some male clients who are great , but yeah , so a lot of my messaging , though , is directed towards women , just because that's who God has given me a heart for , for this season at least .

We'll see where it goes in the future .

If I say , maybe you should go to adoration , spend some time in adoration and think about X , y , z , whatever action steps they came up with , so if I tell them that they're , most of the clients that I work with aren't going to be adverse to that , if they are , they can do something else . But you know , we can talk that .

We can talk about the Rosary , we could talk about novenas , we could talk about , you know , the Lectio Divina . We could talk , you know all of those things . So it's not foreign to them when I start speaking in that way . And then you know , and if you work with a sobriety coach , different sobriety coaches have different things that they integrate .

Some of them it's manifesting , some of them it's like the different , I don't know whatever new agey stuff that they're putting in there . Some of them are very adverse to God and so they , within what they're doing , they'll call it like inner knowing . Or you , you know like you're doing this and it's all self , self , self , self self .

You , you know like you're doing this and it's all self , self , self , self self . But as Catholics we know we are not on our own , that we do have our helper , the Holy Spirit . We do have spiritual gifts and God's grace and mercy and love is there for us . We just have to ask and rely on him . Have to ask and rely on him , right .

So that's definitely a big component . And then I've developed a lab it's called the Sacred Sobriety Lab and that is just a place it's very much about . Like , identity is a big component of it . Managing our minds is a big component of it . Managing our minds is a big component of it .

But it all our faith is threaded through that very heavily because it's , it's part of our lives , it's how we live . It's not just a . I go to church on Sunday Like it's it should be .

And as we start to detach from things should be , and as we start to detach from things we rely more on or we integrate more of that relationship with Jesus , right , it's easier for us because we aren't like numbing our brain or tuning out from God . We actually can figure out ways that we can speak to Him and hear His voice at the same time .

So I find in my own life as I detach from things , for example , I rooted out different sitcoms and different TV shows . I rarely watch TV anymore and that just gave me more time for Jesus . That just gave me more time to hear God's voice , and I think the same is true .

I know the same is true with alcohol , because a lot of times women will pour themselves a glass of wine , sit in front of the TV and just veg , which sometimes we just need to turn our brains off . But I think that there are other , better ways to do that that can be healthier and allow God to be in those places and build those places .

I think it's appropriate to close with a Hail Mary , as we began the episode with Christie describing a spiritual attack . Join me in learning the Hail Mary in Latin . In nomine Patri et Filii et Spiritus Sancti, Amen . Ave Maria, Gratia plena, Dominus tecum . Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus .

Sancta Maria , Mater Dei , Ora pro nobis , peccatoribus, Nunc et in hora mortis nostrae . Amen , in nomine Patris et Filii et Spiritus Sancti . Amen . Thank you and God bless . May you have a blessed New Year and may you have a wonderful continuation of the Christmas season until Jesus' baptism and the Feast of the Three Kings . Blessings to you and your families .

Thank you for listening to the Veil and Armour podcast .