Hey everyone, thank you so much for joining us this weekend transcending humanity. I just want to let you know that next week we're not gonna have an episode because I'm still going to be recovering from surgery. But we will hopefully be back up and leaving a week after that. Thank you again for watching and listening. Record. And record. Double recording. Everything's recording, recording, recording recording. Where did that voice go that I had earlier? This. This one's good enough.
It's right there, You found it!
Yeah, it's okay. Are you two ready?
I'm ready.
All righty! Brain fart. Okay. Hello, everybody. Welcome back to transcending humanity. This is episode 22. I'm Vanessa. I'm joined by my lovelies, Taryn and Erica. We are here today to talk to you about names. Part of the trans experience. And while I'm asleep, anybody could change their name. Really? I mean, a lot of people change names. It's just I would say, in the trans community, it's a little bit more common to change our names then. Then other communities? I
don't know. So, and I mean, depending where you live, it's a giant pain in the ass. We're not going to get into that. But there are, yeah, there's a lot of hurdles to doing it. But what we're gonna talk about today is kind of the personal side of it. It's very unique to be able to name yourself. I mean, so much of our identities are wrapped up around I mean, in societies, so I mean, it's used for everything, and it gets misspelled at Starbucks all the
time. So you know. Now, since they print everything out, it's usually pretty easy, but whatever. So I was what we are doing, and I actually sort of slept in my brain still not working. Maybe it's just maybe it's just my brain. I don't know, maybe I'm just excited because I'm seven days out from surgery. This, this episode will come out after it's already happened. Hopefully, if it happens, just terrified that it
won't. anyone's gonna, it's gonna thinking it's gonna, it's gonna happen, it's gonna happen. So yeah, choosing your own name, it's kind of a wild and fun thing. And I mean, go from mild to wild on it, too. So that's what we're going to be talking about today is our three. I have no idea what the final video this is going to be. Because it's never how it looks on my screen, even if I tell zoom to keep the house video order. So
whatever. So our experiences and I also put out a call our Instagram and LinkedIn, we are on both Instagram and LinkedIn. You can find this to transcending humanity. I can't remember if I put podcast at the end or not, forever. And we had seven people send in all submissions about their names. So we're just gonna, each the three of us talking about our name thing is and then in between our read some of the ones from our listeners, slash watchers slash whatever. Our audience don't have a name yet
so well, to think on that. But who would like to start talking about your naming experience?
Erica, do you want to go first?
Sure, I can go first. I knew I'll try to keep it short, can be a little lengthy. So when? So settling on Erica, number one was a little bit of a surprise. Right? So and I had set a couple of rules for myself. I wanted something age appropriate, like something that I could have been named when not because I'm a child of the 70s, right. The puppy agrees with
that. And the other thing was, I didn't want to have a name of someone that I was actively friends with, or had relations with because it just felt weird to be like, Hi, America. And you're Erica. And I knew that and I took command. So I didn't. So that kind of narrowed my list down, right? Because I know a lot of people getting it down to those two factors. And I had picked like three that I liked, and I don't even remember the other two, by the way, have
Dysport. They're like gone. And my therapist asked me like, Hey, what should I call you? And just Eric, it was the one that came out. And that was actually third on my list of the three that I liked. And that's the one that came out. So I was like, Oh, I didn't expect that one to come out. But I thought I'll ride with it for a while and see what happens. And I settled into it felt like home. But there's, there's more to this thread. It's far more interesting than that. So not too long ago that I
came out to my mom. And I was like, Oh, I know. I remember. She told me what she would have named me if I had been, you know, born female, I guess is where we're going to just go with it. I can't remember it was I remember it being kind of weird and interesting. But I should ask her, maybe I'll use it as my middle name. Right. So I came out to her and then like, on the next phone call is like button way, I'm still kind of working out. I knew I wanted to Erica was like, kind of working
out my middle name. And she was like, Oh, well, you could go with what I was, was I was gonna call you. I was like, well, that's kind of what I'm asking, What do you think? Now? I have to tell you, before I reveal this name. I was shocked and horrified. But what came out of her mouth, it was not prepared for this. Right? And there's a story behind it as well. She's like, I was going to name you after my mom met your grandma
Mary. And my one of her aunts that she loved Eloise, and I was like, Okay, I wonder what this is going to be Mary Ella, something like that. And she's like, Mara, nella? And I was, I said, Excuse me, did you say Madera? And she said, No. Mara della, like. And, yeah, yeah, I was like, I think you have to understand. My family has a big sense of humor. Like one of them. One of the things my mom gave me was a big sense of humor. She loves to sort of tease and have fun with people.
So it's like, oh, she is fucking cool in my leg. So it's so then I kept kind of hitting on marinara, like, you're gonna call me marinara. And she, you know, she started to get upset. And I was like, Oh, you're serious. You're, you're serious, serious. And she's like, Yeah, so should we call you Mara Nila? And I was like,
no, no.
No. And I had to really navigate some murky waters very fast, because there's, here's the sort of the bigger story behind it. Like, my my grandma Mary. She died when my mom was 13 have breast cancer. And my mom just really revered her in her memory. She was a first she was an Army nurse in World War Two. And she was actually the first female in the military injured in the line of duty. And she's done a cover of Life
magazine somewhere. Which I have to find this Life magazine, where she's like on the plane or the boat flying back to wherever she's going to a convalescent hospital. And she's the only lady and this picture full of all these gi eyes laying on their cots and they're all looking at her because they're like, Who's this hot lady? And
my grandmother was a hottie. And you know, so she's, I've grown up with this whole like, my mom Mary's the most amazing thing my mom went into nursing as, instead of what her dad wanted, which was for her to be a follow him into an academic pursuit. He was a English professor at a major university. Her brother was an English professor at another major university. He just thought my mom would do
that. And she's like, No, I'll be a nurse so there's always been this sort of special place for grandma Mary and so I really had to kind of travel some murky waters there. And then her Aunt Eloise, I never got to meet she she died before I was born. But I knew she was special in my mom and that she looked out for but not not quite as much. So in the end, what I said I had to very gently let my mom down like I told her I almost went into nursing at one point because of how much like war had been
passed down about grammar. And I was like tell you what, I will go with mer Murray as my middle name because that sounds more like me. And while I appreciate what you would have deemed me otherwise I absolutely would not be going by that as an adult.
That's it this day. And then when it came around time to do all the legal paperwork right you know getting given the court order and everything I never really felt very much ownership over my my last name my dad's last name, he's an okay person, but really just he wasn't in the picture a lot. He never should have been apparent not because he's a bad person. But because if you're not a circuit board because he works with circuit boards, he doesn't you're if you're a human he's you're not
interesting. And he should have known that out I'm so I just never felt really connected though I felt very much connected to my German heritage because I do have a German last name. And so my partner, she didn't take my name because she's, she was also an academics and she's got two books and like 18 academic articles out there under her name Vogel. And she was like, Oh, I didn't take her name. I'm keeping my name. That's what my PhD. So I decided
to take her name, legally. So that's how I wound up with Erica Marie Vogel and it's been amazing because I still get to keep kind of that sort of German sounding heritage. I get to honor my grandma a little bit. But I get to pick the name that was mine instead of the god awful thing. My mom was gonna name me because you know, you know, every class every time you started a school year, we can start back on Oh, look, it's marinara sauce
salmonella.
It's very HEY MARINARA SAUCE how you doing? And I was like, oh my god, I did dodge. I at least dodged one bullet. But that's that's my story. So that's why I am Erica Marie Vogel.
It flows very well. I love that as well. Yeah. Yeah,
I think it's, it fits me and I was thinking about it the other day when only when the idea came up. But it used to kind of feel weird to get called Erica at first. And then I sort of settled into it. And then it kind of started feeling weird again, like, wow, it's bizarre that that's this one I get called. And then it just started really sounding feeling like very homely recently again, so sort of like, I guess I got to this point where I was thinking about it too much again. But now
it just feels so normal. And so when when the rare occasion I get dead named, it's startling, not because I'm insulted about being dead name. I'm like, I'm sorry, what name? You know, so it kind of takes me by surprise when I hear that occasionally. Yeah,
I can imagine. It's, I was gonna say something. It escaped me.
Oh, and I will say, I did attempt to keep my initials all the same. I thought that would be cool. But then I didn't like any names. That worked out that way. So now I have. So now my wife, my youngest child and me all have pretty much the same initials.
Oh, nice.
That's kind of cool
that is really cool.
Yeah. That's my story!
That's a wonderful story. See that's in everybody's is going to be so unique. I'm going to read a couple listeners slash Bueller slash submissions before I move it on to Taryn. But he has some wonderful people since their stories ends. So first one is from Adam justice. And he says Hi there, I'm Adam, a 37 year old FTM. My birth name was given to me by my adoptive mom, who was my best friend until she died in 2012. I had come out as a lesbian when I was 18. But that never really
resonated with me. I eventually figured out that I'm trans since my mother had already passed and I wanted her to be part of my journey. I took my birth name Amanda Elizabeth. And I use those letters to choose my new name, which is Adam Eli justice. I hope my mom is proud of the man I am today
but that,
yeah. Okay, I was not expecting to tear up today.
I always think it's I love hearing stories from people all the time, especially about how they get their names. I think it's it's fascinating and people have all kinds of reasons, but I mean, for me since I did resonate with like, family names, those always hit me the most. I think those are the ones that made me cry.
Yeah, that one that one got me. So another one of the wonderful things that estrogen I like this and that and that downplaying estrogen but emotions, it's still it catches me off guard when I suddenly have an emotion.
It feels so much better now.
I know. It's I love it. Next one is a name that some LinkedIn people might recognize Wanda Shirky. And she said I chose Wanda is my family and for a few reasons. First, I used to have a co worker named Wanda and I thought what a cool name. And second, I don't know too many one does, so I thought it'd be a little different. Third, the first two letters of Wanda artists same first two letters of my legal name, and it makes things a little bit easier. It does make things a little bit
easier. That reminds me what I was gonna mention. When Erica was saying that someone trying to get used to someone calling her Erica, it's it is weird when you first start going by a different name because gear I mean and programmed to expect a certain names and when people start using your new one, it's amazing. Don't get me wrong. It's also just like Well, wait, who? Oh, you mean me? Oh, that's fucking badass. And another thing you don't think about when you change your name is changing
your signature. Oh, yes, was different.
I had to relearn my signature. I took it as an opportunity to not have a messy signature and it did not work.
Yeah, my Well, my name used to be my dad. My dad name was Jeremy Adams. So I did a j and then kind of a dot and then an eight D de there. So now I actually write out Vanessa Joy, but my handwriting is fucking atrocious anyways, so it's kind of at least you can see my full name now. So love that. So let's see, Taryn, I will turn it over to you now.
Okay, so another long winded story from why I'm a huge Star Trek fan. Like grew up with it. Watch the classic series from blowing mom. Nice dreamed of a world where we could all just put our petty differences aside and just live on and explore into new frontiers. And people have gone
before.
Exactly Brave New World. So for me, I really enjoyed the next generation Series, right? So y'all know the introduction of the Borg. And when the Borg finally hit her, and it was an epic Starfleet battle. And I think it was either in this episode, but it was called Wolf 359. So they're heading to this battle outside of the Solar System Federation gets bored and worth the Kenya tactical officer announces. We've hit the Terran sector sector 001. So I always liked that name, right? It's
Latin. It means like Earth dweller. So I was doing some freelance design work post, like, post a layoff in early 2000. And I was operating under the name Terran design. So it had a very kind of like Cuddy spacey kind of design. So when I came up to my first friend in 2010, you know, I was like, I'm not sure name, I'm going through all the typical ones. And I've got a lot of women in my family and I'm trying to like, like, I like those things. So it's not really me. I just wasn't sure.
And she goes, if you sell it this way, I think Karen is the name for you. And I was like, okay, so I looked into selling and originally it was T E, rr y en. And I was like, okay, operating under that for a couple years. And I decided I said, You know what, since I haven't mixed heritage, so it's your in indigenous and African. I'm going to pick something that's kind of like European
across multiple countries. So Terran with ta ry n is the one I set set out on, which was funny when I went down to visit my tribe before it came out in 2017. There was a Terran spelt original x in my tribe, so I was like, okay, so I got the video, the alternate one. Um, you know, for me, I've been operating under that name. Since 2013 on social media, being called Terran. Like it just like everything has just clicked for me. And now I'm kind of going through the court order in
California to make it legal. For my middle name, I haven't really put much thought into it. I kind of like elisabete. So like LELIS a BT. But it might actually honor my mom or using her middle name, which is KK a ye. So um, you know, when you look at the Arabic dictionary, I think Listen, 2019 or 2020 the definition of the name? Taryn? I am a total Terran 100% Total turn. Yeah, well, I mean that it's a robust definition on the show, but yeah, I'm starving
dictionary. Let's go. Should I be reading this aloud or not?
Ooh. So I see.
It's the most recent definition.
Everyone loves her even though she doesn't think so. She thinks she's ugly, but in reality, she is so beyond beautiful. And everyone by her recognizes that you have some heart and soul friendships, which makes her all the wiser in a better friend. If you meet a Terran you should consider yourself the luckiest person ever. I mean,
Aaron? Yeah.
Okay, so Erica was Soul unlike any other, a true uniqueness to the core in every conversation, and as a whole being a smile that holds many stories and captivates every single heart. A laugh you'll never forget as the person who holds this name, the radiance they admit, will forever change the light of another's path along with their own. They will always make the first choice of kindness followed by consideration and
thoughtfulness. Their heart, mind and soul connection will always be unique in unforgettable to the world. They're destined to change the world when they start their journey. Fuck air. Wow,
that's a lot to live up to.
Yeah. Okay. Vanessa, then that to me, because I did look
into like, I was really big on like, oh, what's the meaning of like Erica or Susan, or whatever. And at first, I was really on this. I had mentioned this earlier on this idea of like, what, like, what's the sort of like the twin name my original name, and there wasn't one that I love. So that's really cool, because I did not find that definition.
That was well, that was an Urban Dictionary. That's that's where you told me to go right turn. So and totally. I guess I'll do Vanessa. Since we're here. Yes. In absolute gorgeous woman whose smile lights up your day. I don't smile much. She's charismatic and the life of the party. No. Show up anywhere you want to go. I used to drive Uber. She's characterised by fearlessness, and a bubbly seductive nature. Now. Her left can't help but make you smile. I don't have much she sometimes struggles
with letting people in. But when she does, she's totally got your back. Maybe a hard worker that's always has her dreams and minds. Maybe. If you ever get the chance to meet Vanessa, do everything in your power to respect and cherish her. If you're ever lucky enough to be with her Vanessa. Know that she will change your world. Oh.
There's some interesting and good stuff in there. But it's true that you'll
Well, no, thank you. I'm probably at all. Not the life of a party, but
I don't know once you get through that. hard candy shell.
Well, thank you. I mean, I guess you got the bay. Yeah. Okay. This dog. Gabrielle seriously.
She wants you to tell her her name story.
Okay, actually, I can. That was pretty easy. My last dog, Katerina. I had a dog and cat. I was torn between I was looking at German girl names. Because German Shepherds I'm one of those Gabby's, here's what? So I was trying to be 18, Katarina, and Gabrielle for my last dog. And since I chose Katerina, for my last one, this one's Gabrielle. So not very exciting, but you know. So I will read a couple more of our
listener submissions. Then I guess I can tell mine and then I'll finish off with listener submissions after we chat some more. On the next one is from Robin Elise. She says, Hi, I'm Robin Elise assigned male at birth. And finally, in the very early stages of transition, personal Personal Capital. But that was Google. Personal and couples therapy going well so far. So still cost it IRL. It's a process. We get it, we get it. You're not alone. And you do it
in your own time. My parents were so sure I would be a girl. They didn't bother picking a boy name. So I had no first name at all for several days while they scrambled to find what my grandfather didn't reject is to Jewish, which is why David got tossed. Finally, they punted and named me Robert, after one of my father's frat brothers, and called me rabbit and this was fine until I started first grade when they decided that Robin was to fam and changed me to rob
overnight. I was six I was asked equi asked who has over the years I tried out other names, but none of them landed like I'd hoped until I said fuck it and reclaim Robin and all her snarky glory. And here I am, at least is still TBD. I think it's pretty and alludes to my German heritage, but my wife is not fond of it. So we'll see what happens. Thank you. I hope you liked the story. Even if you don't use it, we used it. PS my sister got the name they picked for me 18 years later when she
was born. Oh, wow. And so the next one I am going to put her because colonizers can't pronounce names that aren't colonizer names so I believe it's at a BZ Oh yeah, well, I I hope I got that somewhat close. I'm sorry if I didn't I have no excuses. I'm from Puerto Rico and in the islands there's a lot of native and African influence such as names and cultures. I originally wanted the more Taino name or tie no ta i No Name and nothing with European
influences. But due to colonization, finding information is hard and there's no great way to verify next time wanted a name from the Congo region but at the time I was looking for names I didn't it didn't take me years over at the time that I was looking for names I didn't know anyone in the regions culture was destroyed and forced into Christian beliefs a few Christianity my third option was the euro but Yoruba people in Nigeria I'm familiar more with this language and it's easier to
find people and resources about this language. I had been exposed to it as a kid and which helps make this decision so I picked that at a BC O while a while while I have I get that somewhat close I feel bad because it's beautiful due to their meaning having a name from our past cultures was a stronger indication because we have a heavily for Spanish slash romance language names in exhausting not being able to speak or know our past not one
for last name. Oh, yeah. While they it's really helpful if you know some Spanish is is very close to pronunciation. Oh, and they sent me they sent me a YouTube link with a pronunciation guide No, I don't want a one minute ad. What the fuck don't you? NBC, NBC. Okay, NBC. So NBC. Oh, yeah. Why?
Thank you. Love it.
That is beautiful. So I'm going to do one the next ones are all kind of my personal ones will be shorter. So I'm going to do one more listener submission. I have Taryn in here attending already set her so
that total Taryn I know
she when she told us here in person, it was much more detailed much better so yeah, your boy your Yeah. So next one from Billy. Several separate roads. SAP Oh, you are a Ud. Again, I cannot pronounce anything that's pretty much just basic boring as English. Hello Vanessa. My name is Billy I'm trans feminine and non binary. Following your invitation on LinkedIn, here's the short story
be Hi my legal name change. My first name was que me the French variant for William you me I actually know because I went to middle school with a kidney give me I didn't know it was French hearing from William until I read abilities thing here. When venturing and non French speaking countries I often went by Bill since it's common name for William and fairly easy to pronounce. This saves me the time I would have wasted trying to get people to pronounce my name and having it butchered
anyways. When transitioning and changing my legal name in early 2023. I decided to go with Billy the important bits that I use the spelling with IE at the end, like Billy Eilish or Billie Holiday. The specific spelling is fairly old and used to be 100% masculine at the end of the 19th century, but quickly changed over time become predominantly feminine in the early 20th century. Very few people have that name today and it is overwhelmingly a female one. My name change achieved
three goals. One it keeps a logical connection with my birth name, which I have nothing against to historically changed gender over time from male to female reflected my very own transformative journey. pretty badass there Billy. In three, it remains ambiguous in its spoken form more than the written one reflecting the non binary nature of my gender identity. Billy I would say you pretty much nailed that shit. So yeah, that's that's a pretty cool story.
That's like the most trans name that has ever trans. So awesome. That's yeah, that's super cool. This is fun. This is fun with alignment listeners right in.
We love that a lot. Yeah.
So my own name It's not nearly as exciting, or deep or anything. Vanessa is just a name I've always liked. And it was the name that I had decided that if I ever had a daughter, I was going to name her Vanessa. I never planned on having kids anyways, but Oops, my son exists. Sorry, Liam is my son, Natalie, I'm on the show. And my son's name is Liam. But the one reason I didn't want to have kids is because just bad genes.
I mean, there's still just sorts of crazy and everything in my family and the poor little booger. Anyways. That was in the side. So and my, my dead name was Jeremy, Michael Adams. And I hate everything that has to do with Christianity. So I wanted to throw as much of that away as possible, especially the Jeremy with the Jeremiah. And Jeremiah was a bullfrog or Gera moves rope and you know, class. Yeah. And Michael just know, though, when I was younger, I didn't
want to go by Mike. And before he came out, I started going by Jane. So Jeremy, so but I guess that was kind of me kind of leaning towards it is very important for me to get rid of my surname. Because Adams is just very everything about it is toxic, very horrible upbringing, horrible family. So I'm like, I'm getting that shit. So I pick joy, because that's my son's last name. And his mom's last name, and we're not together. But I just figured it'd be easier for my son to have the
same last name as his mom's. So I just went with joy. I'm not. I'm not attached to it at all. But it just is what it is. And as for middle name, I decided to go without one because all this is just extra paperwork. Yeah, it's but it since I mean, you to have like stories behind and more inspiration behind picking middle names and stuff like that. I'm just like, yeah. Oh, that's no. No, it's like a short name. No, it's cool. So now it's exciting.
Let's jump into that a little bit. I know you probably have one more to read, right. But I get questions around names, too. Like, oh, did I pick a good day? And I'm like, I don't know if you picked a good name, but your name is Yeah. And you know, sometimes I've told this story before about my name, but some people are like, I don't have a good term. Like,
why do you need a good store? I just happened to have a story because it was important to me, like, whatever name is your name that fits you and feels right is the perfect name. And that's all the story that matters. So if you're worried out there that you don't have a good story, forget that shit.
I mean, well, most trans women named themselves after video game characters anyways, so you know. Yeah. Star Trek. Star Trek. Yeah, I
did, like juncea Docs, it wasn't really didn't really fit. Yeah,
it doesn't roll off the tongue the way it did on the show.
I mean, it the theme kind of a little bit though, just because you know, the DAT DAX changes, male, female, you know, throughout the different symbiotic relationships, but, you know, it's, yeah, that's a trans experience.
Because there's no right way, there's no right way to do it. I mean, it's like, know, what you're associated with, it's what you're comfortable with. What has meaning to you. It's when
if I give any advice is if you're waffling on names at all, don't just rush out to legally change it until you have one set in stone just because it's fucking hard to change it. So
like, unknown, so union, like, let people call you by it, you know? Like, sit with it right and gaff, like if you'd like hearing it all the time. I love my name, but it's like when people call it like 22 times and like, I don't like it as much right? But I didn't like any name. So like it just let it sit and simmer and just get used to it and you know, and come come to the right frame of mind for it and just be like, Alright, yes or no.
Yeah. And you know, on that note, anything that you pick my mind at some point start to feel like is this the right one and like, like you said, Turn let people call you it. Find people that you trust if you're not out. And you know, I think you just have to go through hearing a name a lot to start with. But I also know people who are like, like my own my own daughter who's trans started out with Natalie as her name. And after two years is like man I just don't feel like
a Natalie. And now she's rain. Sometimes I still call her Natalie. Because it just like slip up, but rain. And I think, you know, while we're on, people pick names all the time, whether it's, they don't want to be called by their first name, or they don't like any other names, not to mention people who change their last names. Like, if it's not sitting well with you try a new name. And like, like you said, the best thing is to have people say it to you to see if
it feels like home. That's all that matters.
Yeah, 100%. I mean, I still have one name to get. But I have to go back East. That's my tribal community. And ask me if I can get a name. Like part of Little Bear was listed name me, but it was pre transition. So and he died a couple years ago. So let's see if Jimmy will do it for me. Because I want to get my proper like, like more of an indigenous name, right? Representative of who I am. Like I want to get
were there any barriers to that? Or is it just you have to go now ask a new person?
I'm just gonna ask Jimmy. Just kind of like because I'm a little bear was going to do the ceremony. So I'll just see if Jimmy can do. And then Jimmy, let let the chips fall where they met.
Your Spirit Animals red tailed hawk, right. So whenever they don't have any
bearing on it, I don't know. Because generally the hoster
sorry, my dog will not stop screaming.
Oh, baby.
Oh, she's just mad because the other dog gets upstairs. They've lived together for three years, and they still can't be in a room together. And she's always jealous. So she's just on the stairs, howling. And I'm like getting I'm trying to do a fucking podcast here. You know?
Whatever this is Gabby's rolled and you're just living in it.
Yeah, that's that's, that's pretty much nailed it. So I will do our final two listener submissions then. The first one is Sabrina aqua, she spells AC QA. And she says I've been assigned the name Bruno at birth, Italian dark color. And about seven years old, I watched the newly released Pokeyman for season. And Sabrina became my favorite name because of the saffron gym leader. That's for 20 years a bully keeps nagging. A bully keeps nagging adult because I was allegedly too
cheerful and naive. Typing is kind of weird. So I tried every kind of diplomacy and understanding and nothing worked. So for the first time in my life inspired that by the medieval book, the flower of battle, I decided to throw the due to the ground with a technique and see if he finally stops. He did. I started to see if I could fight my fight for myself and stand up for my choices. So I went back to my favorite name and picked it up and fight whoever tried to stop
me. I did. And this is the story of how I chose to be Sabrina. Also I found out that refers to a river in England perfectly matching my water theme surname, which will also fit into my Hema practice because it's spilling resembles Sabir, which I took as a nickname. So, okay, that's cool. Kind of intense. That's cool. So I don't have to
you don't mess with Sabrina. Yeah,
no shit. So in a final one from I think Bella, do Bella do I mean, I don't know how to pronounce your last name sorry. So she says hey there th superstars. Before I came out, I needed to create a feminine pseudonym to use online. I came up with Eileen Richardson based on an anagram of my birth name meal, and upon based on my father's first name, Richard's son, which also happen to be my
middle name. After I began transitioning and started thinking about a new name, I realized Eileen had grown on me Come on Eileen. Additionally, I thought it was appropriate that the similarity and spelling for both names symbolizes that Neil will always be part of Aileen. That's that's pretty cool. As for my middle name, I chose Noel because my birthday being so close to Christmas, December 23, and my French heritage. It's also coincidently similar in spelling to Neil. I never hated
my birth name. I considered it an honor to have my father's name for my middle name. However, I clearly did not want to live outwardly as a woman with a male name. Choosing my own feminine name has been one of the most empowering and affirming moments of my transition. Let the podcast you're all wonderful. We know. We know refined badass over here. So to our friends that wrote in, thank you so much. That was it. It was an honor to be able to share your stories. Yeah, and that's yeah, this is
that was fun. My headphones keep falling. So this, it's names are just, it's everyone that as I said, everyone's journey with it is so completely different from you know, someone finding it and playing WarCraft to the I was actually tempted. I'm not gonna lie. To make my name. Definitely fiver Anna, which was my Warcraft, Dragon. I mean, I didn't do that. So which was good or bad? Maybe I'll get her as a tattoo or something.
Honored in that way.
Yeah. But yeah, there's, it's fun. So. But yeah, as we said, like, let it, practice it, let it let it kind of marinate. So you know that it's going to work. Like for me, I just knew Vanessa was just going to be it. But it's probably smart to you know, give it some time to absorb it. So, and then also to figure out nicknames that are going to go along with it. So like for me, I would not be mind being called Nessa. I do not like being called V. And the only reason behind that is here at home.
When there's all the chaos in dogs screaming babies screaming, if my son's other mom says V, which a lot of people here call me that. I can't hear her say it. Because of my autistic gearing brain things. So that's why I like just being called Vanessa, because it's long enough that I can grasp it. So yeah.
I think is a really interesting point, right? Whatever you decide your name is you can insist on people calling you that. And you can define nicknames that you like, for, for me, for my dead end. People always would want to shorten it to a more colloquial, colloquially use name. And it was just never mean also, because it was never my name. But it just never felt like me. So I was always like, No, my name wasn't Philip. I was like, it's, I would have, I wouldn't be like it's still up, not Phil.
But the old version of that. So think, whatever you go with, decide what you're comfortable being called. And assert that that's your right. It's your name. You're not You're not being a burden, right? Because when we meet new, meet new people, anyways, we ask them, what's your name? Right. So
that's gonna do that. And then I think it gives you an opportunity to think about most of the times we have nicknames that when we grew up those things that names that our parents call us, and just kind of becomes your nickname, whether you want it or not. But now it gives you a chance to decide. But you know, what a nickname, like, can't really nickname Erica too much, but I would I would answer to RA or airy. Right? That's fine. That was good. And so we'll be fine
with that. So yes, you know, stand up for yourself in those ways. You're, you're you are setting the standard and people are going to, if they're decent people, they're going to follow what you set up. This is your chance to actually undo some of the things having been put up with things that you didn't want to be called.
Everyone should be trans, you know, change the name be trans baby. Oh, it's so fun. Yeah.
I mean, I'm so used to getting called by my last name, like add Yeah, Mark a lot. So it's always people screaming tally. So like, I just never really I don't know. I'm just my assigned male at birth Nana's average, right? So it's kind of embraced, you know, kind of embrace tally. So I go by T, or T T. Or like, well, that's foot my niece's. It's, you know, TT or auntie. And then if somebody really has a hard time saying, Taryn, I can also infer to rent so
nice. Before you came out, did you ever have people just dancing pays income Mr. Tally man, tell me banana.
Yeah, all the time. I'd hated that. And my first name rhymes with all kinds of shit. Like that one. was like just Yeah, it was just kind of like not good. I think the only thing I liked about it was that the basis of my name is kind of Roman and Latin. And it comes from the God of War. So the only thing I appreciate it
and your warrior in transmit is so transplant you retain the warrior part.
Yeah, nicknames that work right. Sorry guys.
I got a lot of teasing for for more my last name than my first name. My first name is absolutely average. It was not Eric, by the way, you know, always makes me laugh when tolls work, whatever Eric and Mike Oh, laughs on you. It was never Eric. Well, you're not really hurting me the way you think you are. But my last day was very easy to make fun on. So I just I kind of grew up with that. And it just kind of roll with it. Like, cool. I haven't heard that
trick before. So it's nice to actually have a name that would be very difficult to make fun of. Yeah, because it was like, it was just about like, even in a business setting people be like, like, did I say that? Is that how you say your name? Like, yes. That is how you say my name. You're right. That was a some people always sort of felt awkward calling me is a very German name. But in English, it sounds like something totally different. And they'll tell you guys in secret.
But so it's nice to have a name now that's like, I mean, what are you gonna make fun of Erica Marie Gogol? I love in German means bird. It means bird. I am a bird. So that's the final story. I forgot to tell you. Local means bird. Right. And that was actually my mom's nickname for me my whole life. She called me Bert. Oh, so that's sort of y also settled on that one. Nice. Although she was her maiden name.
You just can't. I don't speak to my mother. Yes.
My mom doesn't watch this. And no, you cannot live with my mom.
My mom watches this and she loves it.
Does she? Taryn? Yes. Thank you. That's yeah,
I think what episode a couple of weeks ago. She's like, Oh my god. That was so good. So good.
I'm glad people like it. I think it's fun. So this is 2200 that happen? Let's look back at like the the early ones since like, we all seem so young and naive.
And spring chickens. Yeah. Now we're just grizzled old Turkey.
I know. We are
our beautiful old
grizzled old veterans or something. I'm
a red tail Hawks.
No, yeah. Red Hat tailed hawks are beautiful birds of paradise.
But we are What? What? Come here? Do you want a cameo?
Get up there girl. Baby.
Why don't you stop screaming? Yes. Oh, okay, my love's. If you have any closing thoughts.
closing thought I have is people if you enjoy this podcast that we do has meaning to you or that you can resonate with it. For the love of the goddess smash that subscribe button and help us grow?
Yes, subscribe, donate, recommend, share, comment, write it and like do all the things we need your love and support. We know you love us. Please get out there and show
us. We love being here for you. We are now up to three patrons. Definitely. I think we just got another one on burries bus. Okay, we're getting there. The more the merrier. So I trimmed down the cost of the show to about 130 a month or so. But, you know, the more the more the better. Because I'm unemployed and it's expensive. And this one is okay, that's just that's just a full on Delta flight from
using your dog. How dare you?
I know. She stinks. She's She needs a bath. So it's an adventure giving her a bath and you can't train her now. She will not let you surf. Let's go okay, well, thank you everybody for joining us. What is this
standard Gabrielle show.
Asha. What is it? This little scared? I leave it on our thank you for joining us on transcending humanity. I don't know what next week's episode So it's going to be I got, we there might actually be a week off after this one. Because I don't have anything planned. This one's going to come out after my surgery. And I'm still going to be in the hospital after that. So let's we can squeeze something in. But I don't have any. Any thoughts. So,
in that episode, we will all go to Vanessa's bedside and interview her where she is. Hi, Alex,
that would be kind of actually. Maybe I was thinking about doing a like a post on my ama YouTube channel the post up? Maybe I'll just pop that on there or something? I don't know. But thank you again, everyone. You two are beautiful, wonderful people. I'm so happy to have you in my life and the sacred this podcast and I really, it's the best. It has transformed my life. So and that's all thanks to you, too. So thank you, everyone.
Okay. What? The first one united together.
I think it might be really hard to get us together. We're too
afraid to be alone with you.
I'm thinking I like this recording time. So because also it's allowing people to that that's part of our thing is it's hard to get everyone together with because y'all have such crazy schedules. And I'm not paying anybody here to be here. So it's, it's all volunteer.
So she has blackmailed us into being on this show. That's the dirty secret. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So she hasn't. It's all volunteer, volunteer organization.
Volunteer. Exactly. But it's hard. You know, we're all adults with different schedules in different time zones. So it's hard to get us all together. But so yes.
Y'all have a great rest of your day. I've still got another Five hours of work
Oh, that sucks. All right. Have a good day at work. Taryn!
thank you for joining. Bye