In today’s episode, we’re tackling a powerful and often misunderstood belief: the idea that God is punishing us for the challenges we face in life. Many of us feel guilty, thinking we deserve the hardships we're going through. But God's boundaries are set out of love, not punishment. Together we’ll explore the difference between discipline, consequence, and punishment, and how to break free from the cycle of self-condemnation. If you’ve ever felt like you need to "fix" yourself before coming to ...
Sep 19, 2024•22 min
Have you ever set a boundary and then felt guilty afterward, wondering if you were now the "bad person" in someone else's story? In today's episode, we dive deep into that exact feeling—the guilt that comes with standing up for yourself. We explore why this happens, how pain and self-worth play a role, and what you can do to move past it. Setting boundaries is less about keeping people out and more about creating healthier, more respectful relationships—even if it sometimes feels uncomfortable. ...
Sep 11, 2024•17 min
If you’ve ever found yourself saying, “I forgive them,” but still feel weighed down by lingering anger or hurt, this episode is for you. This week, I dive into the often-overlooked factor that keeps us stuck in the process of forgiveness: blame. As someone who struggled to forgive for years, I know this is a hard topic, but my story has offered me valuable insight into how we can move beyond blame and take responsibility for our healing journey. Forgiveness doesn’t have to include carrying hurt ...
Sep 04, 2024•17 min
If you've been dealing with mood swings, irritability, difficulty focusing, and/or chronic fatigue, there's a good chance that your nervous system is dysregulated. In this episode, I explore what it means to have a dysregulated nervous system, the signs to watch out for, and practical strategies for healing. I’ll also share some personal experiences and bonus tips to help you regulate your emotions and maintain your overall well-being. Rooting for you, Jessica Next steps: Get my free 3-day study...
Aug 28, 2024•20 min
Are you tired of trying to keep everyone else happy while feeling like you’re losing yourself in the process? In this episode, I dive deep into why so many of us feel consumed by the need to make others happy, often at the cost of ourselves. I also explore the complex dynamics of people-pleasing, from both a psychological and spiritual perspective and offer practical insights on how to break free from this exhausting cycle. Remember that your worth isn’t tied to how much you do for others. You m...
Aug 21, 2024•22 min
If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your feelings or unsure how to navigate them, this episode is for you. In this chat, I dive into the complex topic of processing emotions. We’ll explore practical, faith-based approaches to understanding and managing your emotions, and provide actionable steps to help you gain clarity and peace. There is no one-size-fits-all approach, but if you write down your thoughts, name your feelings, and seek the truth of God's Word, you can begin to change your relation...
Aug 14, 2024•18 min
“I bet you thought life wasn’t fair.” If you're a regular listener familiar with my family history, you can understand why someone would say this to me. And they're right - life isn't fair. But here's a different perspective: life in a broken world isn’t guaranteed fair or painless. However, God promises to be with you through it all. This doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real or that life has been easy. It means you’re not chasing fairness; you’re pursuing righteousness. The world often tries to ma...
Aug 07, 2024•19 min
I want to talk about something that is tough, but super important - forgiveness, reconciliation, and repentance. For years, I struggled with what others expected me to do versus what God told me. It was a constant battle because these opinions came from people I deeply respected. But every time, something inside me stopped. It took years and some recent experiences to realize that this hesitation was God protecting me. People often confuse forgiveness and reconciliation, thinking they’re the sam...
Jul 31, 2024•21 min
Are you dealing with pain, but you feel like no one acknowledges it? Maybe someone tells you that you're the problem, or someone you care about manipulates or gaslights you. It's easy to feel like you're the issue, thinking you're a burden or no one cares about you. When bad things happen, the last thing you want to do is face them head-on. It's much easier to shut down, isolate yourself, and distract yourself with food, movies, or endless scrolling. Escaping reality feels better than dealing wi...
Jul 24, 2024•18 min
This episode is special because it's very personal—it's about me and my mom. For those of you who've been following me, you might know a bit of my story, but today I'm diving deeper. She and I had been estranged for 14 years, but that changed last month when I became her medical power of attorney. I hope my experience resonates with those facing similar struggles and offers insight into the importance of setting boundaries, managing expectations, and trusting God through the difficult process of...
Jul 17, 2024•17 min
The topic of today's episode is very personal because I've been learning lately through my relationship with God about letting go of offenses. It's about not letting myself think poorly of someone just because of how they react to my pain. It's tough, but our expectations of others often set us up for disappointment. Sure, it's healthy to have expectations in relationships, but when I start needing others to fulfill my needs before turning to Jesus, things get tricky. Often, when we have expecta...
Jul 10, 2024•17 min
If you're a Christian, or even if you've just considered it, you've likely wrestled with feeling like you need to get better before God will accept you. Why would you expect God to forgive you if you can't even forgive yourself? This mindset leads to isolation from God and others who might hurt us again. However, when we forgive ourselves, we heal through compassion—not self-centered compassion, but one led by the Holy Spirit. A healthy relationship with ourselves begins with a healthy relations...
Jul 03, 2024•16 min
Ever found yourself letting someone say or do whatever they wanted to you, even when it felt wrong? Or maybe you’ve kept someone or something in your life longer than you should have because confronting it felt too overwhelming. It’s often easier to endure the pain of staying silent than to face the discomfort of speaking up. Setting boundaries requires understanding who we are in Christ, dealing with our pain, and communicating clearly. They are essential for true, genuine love in relationships...
Jun 26, 2024•18 min
Have you ever felt that what people say or do to you defines who you are? We often conflate actions — whether ours or others’— with our identity. For example, if you make a mistake, you might think that makes you a bad person. This is a natural, but misleading way to view ourselves. What if you viewed yourself through the lens of God's love rather than your actions? In this episode, I talk about understanding shame, personal growth through humility, the role of negative emotions, and processing ...
Jun 19, 2024•18 min
Generally, we spend a lot of time and energy thinking about what we eat. But have you considered that you might not be eating enough? In this episode, I delve into the profound impact of food on our mood and overall well-being with Leanne Vogel , a certified holistic nutritionist and functional blood chemistry specialist. Our conversation includes the prevalence of under-eating, how nutritional deficiencies affect our mental health, the impact chronic stress can have on adrenal function and cort...
Jun 12, 2024•35 min
Have you ever thought, "I'm doing the right thing. Why is this happening to me?" Many of us believe that being a Christian shields us from suffering, but that is not the case. In this episode, I dive into why pain still occurs, how to navigate grief, and the importance of forgiveness in the healing process. Pain is inevitable, but it doesn't have to turn into resentment. Embrace the journey of forgiveness and trust God's presence through every trial. Rooting for you, Jessica Next steps: Get my f...
Jun 05, 2024•20 min
We often find ourselves burdened by the weight of responsibilities, expectations, and fears, striving to "keep it all together." But what happens when we allow ourselves to acknowledge that we might not be okay? What if we let go and trust that God is with us through it all? Letting go and trusting God is a journey that requires faith and intentionality. By acknowledging our limits, seeking God's presence, and taking care of our physical and emotional health, we can find the peace and strength t...
May 29, 2024•19 min
God doesn’t tell us never to have emotions. However, when we choose to abide in our emotions and listen to them without reason, we learn the fruit of that is strife, jealousy, anger, and things like these as shared in Galatians. In this episode, I talk about how we move through our feelings so our emotions don’t control us. Navigating our emotions biblically and practically involves blending spiritual wisdom with tangible actions. This means taking time to honestly reflect on our feelings, allow...
May 22, 2024•20 min
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you desperately needed to take care of yourself, but the overwhelming feelings of guilt and shame held you back? This struggle is real, and many of us have experienced it. But why do we find it so hard to prioritize our well-being? A healthy relationship with ourselves stems from a healthy relationship with God. What we believe about God we will believe about ourselves and then live as though we believe it. In this episode, I discuss how misunder...
May 15, 2024•22 min
Let me start by honoring the part of you that's fighting to be seen. God sees you and He knows. Not only does God know, but I also know this fight. I pray that, however hidden you feel, you find comfort in knowing that other women are trying to “get loud” so they can be heard, too. In Hebrews, scripture reminds us that we are not hidden from God. He sees and knows us on an intimate level. But even when the world doesn’t see us, will the Father's seeing us be enough for us? Do we believe He truly...
May 08, 2024•14 min
“I’m just not good enough.” “I should have known better.” “I’m not worthy of forgiveness.” “I always mess things up.” “I’ll never be able to change.” Behind every one of those phrases, we find a piece of ourselves that feels like it should be punished. So, we impose self-punishment and call it "holy," but punishing ourselves is no way to live. Let me ask you this - Do you believe you are forgiven? Fully forgiven, especially when you repent? In this episode, I walk through the steps of genuine re...
May 01, 2024•15 min
The topic in today's episode has been on my heart for a while because I've been reflecting on what my life might look like had I chosen to continue to make decisions that kept me headed down the same dark road much of my family has traveled. Maybe you can relate. In this conversation, I pose 3 questions that can help you recognize where you have been participating in generational sin and how to break free. You don't have to be a statistic. It will not be easy but it can be done. I am living proo...
Apr 24, 2024•19 min
Every day, when our alarms go off and our eyes open, we begin making decisions. By the end of the day, when our heads hit the pillow to do it all over again, we would have made an estimated 35,000 decisions. But we have to do it, right? The family needs to be fed, we need to go to work, and our friendships are important, so the question becomes how do we steward what God has entrusted to us without living overwhelmed by stress or filled with anxiety day in and day out. In this episode, I walk yo...
Apr 17, 2024•21 min
Your childhood, what you have done, what has been done to you, what people have said to you, what people haven’t told you - every one of these sentences when answered holds pieces about who you are; a moment in your life that tried to form you into another image other than your Father’s. Those messages have tried to form this theme: “When you show up as who God has created you to be, you are too much and not enough all at the same time.” However, over the last couple of years, after letting go o...
Apr 10, 2024•16 min
I hear the pain in my coaching client's words when they say, “I feel like God is punishing me.” Many of the women who go through my programs and coaching one-to-one have been taught a view of God that is vengeful, full of wrath, and all punishment. They fear that when they don’t do something perfect God will punish them for it. If our theology of God isn’t based on His goodness, then when things happen that we didn’t expect or plan for, it’s easy to think God is punishing us. But God doesn’t bri...
Apr 03, 2024•20 min
"Where did that thought come from?" "Why do I think like this?" Have you ever asked yourself those questions? In this episode, I break down how a thought pattern is formed, where we get influence for our thoughts, and offer 3 tips (plus 2 bonus ones) to build a foundation to start breaking through tormenting thought patterns. Rooting for you, Jessica Next steps: Get my free 3-day study and learn how to deal with your emotions in a biblical way: https://www.jessicahottle.com/3-day-study/ Work wit...
Mar 27, 2024•14 min
I am very acquainted with this question - if God is good, why am I in so much pain? In this episode, I share my own story of abuse and striving. Through the years, it has been a process of renewing and redefining all the pain I have gone through with others. It’s also taken time to forgive myself for the pain I caused others and the choices I made. I had to fully receive what Jesus did for me so I could not hold myself to any other standard. When I talk about coaching and counseling women, I don...
Mar 20, 2024•15 min
Sometimes we have to be willing to love people from a distance because love doesn’t require proximity, other times we commit to love closely. The depth at which we love will be the depth which we can experience pain. I don't know exactly what happened in your damaged relationship, but in this episode I share 3 key factors anyone will need when rebuilding trust in any type of relationship. Rooting for you, Jessica Next steps: Get my free 3-day study and learn how to deal with your emotions in a b...
Mar 13, 2024•14 min
“I don’t know how to process through what I am feeling and struggle with anxiety daily,” a coaching client of mine told me. She continued, “I have been taught my entire life to deny myself, so how do I honor God but also honor who He made me?” Maybe, like my coaching client, you have felt the same way, a world where you need to get yourself together before you can go to God. In this episode, I walk through some scriptures about denying ourselves that are commonly misunderstood and explain how de...
Mar 06, 2024•18 min
A survivor struggles to bring together two irreconcilable realities - God and abuse. “If God is good then why did this not-so-good thing happen to me?” This is a question we ponder when the pain of what happened feels far from anything good. We can see a world where there is pain and suffering without God, but how do we live in a world with a good God AND pain and suffering? That’s what we will be discussing in today’s episode. I want to open up the conversation around the question so many peopl...
Feb 28, 2024•15 min
