Note: We use AI transcription so there may be some inaccuracies
Danielle Cobo: Are you feeling stuck in a rut and try to navigate through life's uncertainties? Do you find yourself facing constant change, whether at work or in your personal life? In this episode, our guest Nicole Banshee shares transformative insights on making small, brave moves in the face of change and uncertainty.
Through compelling personal experiences and invaluable wisdom, Nicole reveals the devastating impact of withheld information in the workplace and the profound effects it had on trust, results, and relationships. But more importantly, we unfold the concept of braver ship and the power of making small brave moves.
Nicole shares valuable insights on the three key mindset shifts to unlock our potential and propel us towards success. Get ready to be inspired and explore the transformative impact of transparency and the immense possibilities within each of us.
Danielle Cobo: So, Nicole, you had worked for two fortune 300 organizations, and one of the most recent organizations you worked for, you were the chief human resources officer. And this organization that you were working for was going through a merger, but it happened to be an acquisition. And you shared this story with me that just.
It hurt. It really hurt. And it was when your husband told you, you were miserable to be around. Tell us about that moment.
Nicole Bianchi: It was a moment that hit so deep and so hard and jarred me out of This fog I had been living in where I was traveling every Monday through Friday and heading to the new corporate office to with the goal as being a good partner and a merger of here are the things that we should be implementing across the company, the new technology that we had just implemented everything we had built from scratch over the last three to four years, only to come home every Friday feeling defeated, um, frustrated, like I was hitting my head on a brick wall every single week, not being able to influence and impact the change.
And for 16 years I had been in roles where I was the person that was known for transformation and change and cutting edge practices, technology. And that moment I didn't realize how frustrated and frustrated I was. and upset and just, I didn't realize the situation I was in that comment that he made to me, was said from a place of deep love and caring, of course, but until he said that, did I realize just how miserable I was?
Danielle Cobo: Isn't it interesting that sometimes people can become a reflection of us and see things in us that we don't see in ourselves some of that's positive. And then sometimes that's negative. and I see this a lot, actually, you saw it with your husband when he had shared that, statement, you're miserable to be around.
And I see kids can be a really transparent, direct when they see things similar to us, you know, why are you being mean? Or why are you short? Or why are you always angry? Or, sometimes you always look, I know with my kids, I know that I'm in misalignment. When my kids will say, Mommy, do you want to just sit down on the couch and I'll turn the fireplace on the TV and we put the fireplace on YouTube and I'll make you a bed.
And I'm kind of going, Ooh, that's that reality check that I needed that something's off. And I get to figure out what that is and make some changes. And I imagine that was probably what it was like for you as well.
Nicole Bianchi: It was, had been going on for months and I was only home for a short period of time on the weekends during that time, because we had a short period of time to be able to influence the change we wanted to have happen.
And I had very clear instructions from our CEO that, again, through the merger of what we wanted to have happen. And so I knew what my mission was, what I didn't realize was it didn't matter what I was going to be able, it didn't matter how hard I tried or the creative ways it wasn't going to happen.
And I didn't realize it until that moment.
Danielle Cobo: That must have been deflating to feel like you're putting so much time and effort to implementing change and to making an impact and, when that's what you have historically been known for and seen as the expert in to then be in a position. You're being told differently than what it's actually going to be taking place.
That's got to feel deflating and frustrating. It was, it was
Nicole Bianchi: deflating, frustrating, and there weren't honest, brave conversations being had with me. There was a lot of smiling and nodding. So that's what was really tough is there wasn't transparent communication and across any of the leadership on both sides of both companies.
And that's where things started, stalling and getting in the way of truly the results we needed to
Danielle Cobo: deliver. I call those almost those moments of the yes, ma'am moments. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Okay. So, people. it sounds like they're not willing to have these tough, candid, transparent conversations.
And I've been in similar situations with you, where I've worked for a fortune 500 company. We went through acquisitions. We went through restructuring. We went through layoffs. We went through an attempted hostile takeover by a competitor that made global news and in the federal court. And. What I found through that experience very similar to what you have shared is if there's not honest conversations, then it can erode trust within a team.
It can affect the culture of an organization. People begin to feel like they feel deflated because here they're being told they can do one thing, but they're not actually able to. And. Transparency and brave conversations are essential when leading yourself or others through any change in life, professionally and personally.
Nicole Bianchi: Yeah, and I felt like in that situation I was asking the right questions. But there was definitely this. We didn't want to upset anything or people to be upset, but we're really not going to head. So showed up in ways where they were slowing progress down or, we're now a much larger company.
And so decisions take so much, months and months, whereas. As a smaller company, we were able to get things across the finish line much quicker, and so it didn't truly reveal itself in the beginning. As I saw it more towards the end, my wish is I wish I would have went back and had a what's going on conversation to say, and talk about the difference between.
the say and the do and what I was seeing and observing. So that honest conversations, cause if I would have known where we stood and what really needed to happen, then I could have made better choices myself and not went with like every Monday as I jump on this.
I'm going to go, take the hill this week only to come, you I would have went with a lot more, reality of what needed to happen. And I would have, handled it a little bit differently for sure.
Danielle Cobo: when we're going through change, and it's whether we're working for an organization, or even change within ourselves, change in our family dynamic or life, when we don't have all the information It's really hard and difficult to make the right decisions, and I see that as a big mistake in organizations is when they withhold information, thinking that they're doing right by the organization by maybe withholding it is actually sometimes doing it a disservice.
I went through an experience where I lost half of my team in one day. They were laid off and I had no idea it was happening. and this is for another story, another time, but I remember that moment where I as a leader was hearing from other people on my team who was getting laid off and I was instructed not to answer the phone.
And I didn't find out all the details and later until later that evening and reflecting back on that situation, it was a moment when I realized that. If that organization had at least provided some guidance, hey, we're going to be going through layoffs. Hey, don't do a field co travel because that was really awkward.
Thankfully the person that I was with didn't get laid off. And then also here's maybe some steps that you can take to support yourself and also support your team as we're navigating through these changes. But by not sharing the information as to what was taking place is really hard to guide a team, to implement change, to support your team, to make decisions.
And it sounds like that's the situation you found yourself in as well, because that organization wasn't being transparent.
Nicole Bianchi: yeah, exactly. When you don't have that transparency, it can be so hard to know what to do and you feel stuck. So you keep trying to do the same thing over and over in different ways with the lack of that transparency and that communication.
And I'll tell you,back to your trust, right? It impacts you. Trust. It impacts the results. It impacts so many different things. And I'm such a big believer in if we invest in the relationships, the results will follow and those relationships, right? And how we work together or asking for what we need or what's going on when things don't seem to be, we feel a little out of alignment on something like I'm running this way, but you're running that way.
And if we're not willing to have those conversations, it's hard for us to deliver the results that we need.
Danielle Cobo: Yeah. So let's kind of take a shift a little bit. I want to dive into, cause you have this book coming up, small, brave moves. What are ways that we can make small, brave moves? You had gone through the situation where your husband tells you.
You are miserable to be around and what small, brave move did you make after that? And when did you realize what small, brave moves?
Nicole Bianchi: Yeah, I realized that, at the intersection, that for us to be really strong leaders, that there's an intersection of bravery and leadership that actually go hand in hand and that bravery.
Is actually a skill and leadership is an action but without having that skill bravery, it's hard to take action, which is the leadership. And so I talk a lot about braver ship, which is bravery plus leadership, which creates a competitive advantage for us as leaders. And we have to make small brave moves to get there.
And the small brave moves are. nine different mindsets, behaviors and habits that we can be making in the work that we do. And that helps us be a bit braver in the moves we need to make. And in that moment, for me, my husband taking a moment and giving me some straight talk. That's one of the mindsets.
and then me being able to take some time to figure out. What? am I showing up as my most authentic self? What's getting in the way of me delivering what I need to and showing up is the very best person. And so I think that out of sync moment allowed me to just do some deep reflection and decide.
what is it that I really, really want? and what might that move be? And that move ended up opening up a whole new aspect for me, which is what do I'm at here? I am, 42 years old at this point asking myself, what do I want to be when I grow up? but So many times we go, well, I'll just go get another job like this or we'll want.
I'll stick it out or two. I'll just go get another similar job somewhere else. But I actually did the deep inner work to really explore. What is it that I really want to pull out of this next chapter? And what kind of impact do I want to make? And for me, it was I want to inspire bravery and leaders.
That's what I want to do. Leaders, teams and businesses help them be a bit braver in the small, brave moves that they need to make.
Danielle Cobo: I love how you said at the 42 you made this decision because I left corporate when I was 38. I just turned 40 and I believe that this is a completely new chapter that I'm starting and I'm actually really excited for this new chapter that I'm starting.
It doesn't feel like a midlife. it feels like a whole new life, but coming in with a lot of experience and knowledge that's different than I was when I was starting my career in my twenties.
Nicole Bianchi: Oh, I couldn't agree more. It is. And giving ourselves permission, right, to experiment and to look at it as a, exciting new chapter, regardless of what that age is.
For me, I have about five more years. I want to be doing some really cool, intensive stuff. And then who knows after that? And so for me, I'm looking at this as, okay, what do I want the finale to look like? what kind of legacy do I want to leave for leaders around me? And, what work needs to be done?
Danielle Cobo: Well, you've talked about nine different mindset shifts, mindset shifts that people can take to make these small, brave moves. What are possibly three of them that you can share with our listeners today?
Nicole Bianchi: The three that I am asked to speak most regularly on is one being hope driven, especially now and over the last several years and hope driven, having a mindset of being hope driven is a positive expectation for a better future.
And then it's the motivation to actually go accomplish that. So when you look at things, not looking at them negatively, but going, okay, well, what's the opportunity here? How can I look at this? And an infusing hope driven into everything we do. when we even approach negative situations with even just a small amount of positivity.
It changes everything and so hope driven mindset is one that, is really, really important. We have to be intentional about setting that mindset every single day because the only thing we can control is how we show up. The next one is embracing uncertainty and the only constant in our lives is change, right?
That's going to accompany us, no matter what. And we're either coming in life, we're coming out of a problem, we're heading into a problem, or we're in the middle of a problem. And so. Figuring out how to embrace uncertainty. What are the things we can control right now to advance to move forward to deal with it.
So I talk a lot about those things because we forget about that. And then it feels like we have a little bit of a sense of control. It helps us move through that differently when we embrace uncertainty. And then the final one is being intentional. And how do we really own our own grove? How do we give ourselves permission to experiment?
and what are the things we want to be really intentional about? Because when we are, that's when things start manifesting and moving into something so much bigger. So those are the three that just those three, if you were just to focus on three, hope driven, embracing uncertainty, and being really intentional will help you advance the small, brave moves you're looking to make.
Danielle Cobo: And then when you say intention, it's almost as though intention is weaved through all of three of those as well. Because there is an intention. I think back of when generations talk about the next generation. it always seems like each generation is looking at the next generation and sees the negative about it.
Oh, this generation upcoming. They're so lazy. They're so this, they're so that. And instead of seeing the hope, In the next generation and in looking at each situation and each change that we experience in life and seeing the hope in what the possibilities are. What can we learn from this?
How can we grow from this experience? what doors might possibly open up with this new change and being intentional as you said about the hope and then also being intentional about bracing the change and focusing on what we can control and not getting caught up on what we can't control.
Nicole Bianchi: Yeah.
And that's when I think back to the last role that we were talking about just a little if I would have really embraced and recognized embracing uncertainty. I probably had a little too much hope driven, not enough of the uncertainty and the intentionality, and so for me.
Even, you know, I'm speaking on it. I've written about it, but it's something I have to actively cultivate and work every single day to to make sure that, I'm getting progress over perfection. Am I getting better today than I was yesterday? Right? And so we all are working on it and we're not alone in that journey.
All leaders are working on all of these, and trying to show up as their very best
Danielle Cobo: selves. There is a misconception out there when people look at individuals who have written books or thought is expert thought leaders. I just had this conversation earlier this morning and I was talking about some recent doubt that I had experienced or some kind of anxiousness with something that's coming up.
And I remember the person looking at me going, I thought you were always so confident. I said, yes, I am confident, but it's been an evolution. And I. I still experience self doubt and I still experience anxiousness sometimes, but I also have the coping skills and the techniques and the tools to get myself out of that self doubt and getting into confidence and it's not perfection.
It's It's progress every day.
Nicole Bianchi: And being brave is working through the fear, we can run away from the fear. We can let it paralyze us, or we can be brave, recognize it, pick up on those cues and clues and work through it when it does happen. And that's, the differentiator for you, right?
Danielle is you figured out what do I need to do? And so many leaders still have not figured that out.
Danielle Cobo: Yeah, well, hopefully after this episode, they see that They've been empowered with three different mindset shifts that they can take with. Being, intentional about seeing the hope, focusing on what they can control by embracing the change, and then being, having that intentional mindset weaved all the way through.
So where can our listeners find you and they can purchase your book?
Nicole Bianchi: You can, head out to NicoleMBianchi. com. Or head out to Amazon and Five Tough Talks was just released a few weeks ago or Small Brave Moves is out there as well. they're both under the umbrella of bravery and leadership and being a bit braver in the moves, whether it's a tough conversation that we need to have or, the mindsets, behaviors and habits to be a bit braver in the work that we're doing
Danielle Cobo: as well.
Well, thank you so much, Nicole. Is there anything else you want to leave our listeners with before we wrap up our conversation today?
Nicole Bianchi: We teach others how to treat us. And so I want you to think about that. We teach others how to treat us. And so being a bit braver and having the tough conversations and shining a light on something that needs to be heard or said.
Teaches people how to treat you. So don't be afraid to speak up, make an ask, have a what's going on conversation, make a small, brave move, because your bravery will inspire others to be brave in the work they're doing.
Danielle Cobo: Oh, that's a great sentiment to leave off of. Thank you so much. I'm sure that will resonate with our listeners.
Well, for those of you listening, if this episode resonated with you, please share this with your friends, your families, and colleagues. Help empower them to make small, brave moves in their life, and how to have the tough talks to make a real impact in making and embracing change, and
making brave moves. So thank you so much for tuning in. If you can share this episode, write a review, greatly appreciate it. And until next time, be unstoppable.