Janine: [00:00:00] Hello, hello and welcome back to Unleashing Brilliance. I'm your host Janine Garner and today we're diving into a topic that I know resonates with so many of you, especially if you've ever found yourself dreading that word networking or just cringing at the thought of attending yet another networking [00:01:00] event.
Full of plastic name tags and elevator pitches. Today we're talking about networking as an introvert
that's right introverts. This podcast episode is just for you. Now I know what you might be thinking. Networking. Isn't that all about extroverted people shaking hands, talking to everyone, collecting a stack of business cards, or even a whole heap of new LinkedIn contacts.
I get that. if you've ever thought that, I'm here to call out the biggest networking BS. That introverts can't be brilliant networkers. Let me tell you, that's a massive misconception. So whether you're introverted, extroverted, or somewhere in between, stick with me, because on today's episode, we're going to the power of quiet networking, and I want to show you how to turn it into a tool that works for you, [00:02:00] not against you.
But first, can we just call out this BS around networking for a minute? Have you ever found yourself at a networking event surrounded by people all shaking hands, swapping cards or LinkedIn connections? And you're just there thinking, what am I even doing here? Or maybe you're someone who avoids these events altogether, because maybe you've convinced yourself that networking isn't for you.
Maybe you're telling yourself, I'm too shy. I'm an introvert. I just don't have that kind of energy. Well listen up, because we need to talk about the biggest networking BS that I see all the time. And I'm calling it out right here, right now, that idea that introverts can't be brilliant networkers is totally nonsense.
And I hear this excuse all the time when I'm speaking to audiences about networking. People say to me, but Janine, I'm shy, I'm [00:03:00] introverted. Networking just isn't my thing. And you know what? I'm sitting there thinking you've got it all wrong. It's like people think networking is this loud, in your face competition where the only goal is to see who can collect the most new contacts.
And honestly, that idea is complete rubbish. The problem is, we've been fed this idea that networking is only for the outgoing. That it's about being the most visible person in the room, shouting about yourself. It's about superficial conversations and shaking hands with everyone. Until you've met absolutely everyone.
But honestly, that's not networking. That's the circus. You don't need to be the life of the party to build powerful, meaningful connections. And if you think networking is about talking to as many people as possible and collecting a bunch of business cards that you'll never follow up on, you're actually missing the point.
[00:04:00] Networking events as we know them are often a waste of time. Yep, I said it. How many times, just think about it, how many times have you walked into a room full of people and felt that pressure to walk the room or work the room? You know, get to meet as many people as possible and flash those business cards pretending that you're really connecting with someone in 30 seconds.
It's exhausting! And more than that, it's really shallow. Again, that's not networking, that's just ticking boxes, and trust me, it doesn't work. Networking isn't about quantity. It's not about collecting business cards like some kind of Pokemon game. Networking is about building relationships. It's about connection, not collection.
I'll say that again. Networking is about building relationships. It's about connection. Thank you. Not collection. And guess what? Introverts, you're actually naturally good at this. You're wired for this kind of deep [00:05:00] connection. You have the ability to create deep, meaningful relationships that go way beyond the surface level stuff.
So when you tell me I can't network because I'm shy or I'm introverted, what I hear is you're actually good at this. You know what? That's perfectly fine. Because you shouldn't network in that way. So let me tell you something. I'm an introvert. Yeah, I know. I'm on stage. I run events. I'm out there because it comes, when it comes down to it, I actually have to be for work, but I get my energy from solitude, from thinking, from deep one on one connections.
That's Big crowds? Nah, they're not really my thing. Loud rooms full of forced small talk? Definitely not my thing. But I built a network that spans industries, countries, and decades. And how? Well, by doing it in my [00:06:00] way. So if you're introverted or shy, and you think that's holding you back from networking, let me flip the script for you.
Introverts are actually phenomenal networkers. Because they don't waste time on the surface level stuff. You dig deep, you listen, you observe. And these are huge strengths. So here are the five qualities that I actually think make introverts brilliant at networking. Number one, deep listening. Introverts are exceptional listeners.
When you engage with someone, you're not just waiting for your turn to speak, you're actively listening. This helps you understand the other person better, and it allows you to ask thoughtful, insightful questions. Listening makes the other person feel valued, and that is the foundation of any great relationships.
Secondly, thoughtful conversations. You're not one to indulge in small talk, are you? [00:07:00] And you know what? That's okay because the world is full of surface level conversations, introverts, excelling, deep, meaningful discussions, and that's where real connections happen. Next time you're on an event, aim for quality over quantity.
Instead of collecting 20 business cards or 20 new LinkedIn connections, focus on forming a few meaningful connections. Your third skill is one of observation. You notice things that others don't. Whether it's body language, tone of voice, or the mood in the room, introverts are observant. I want you to use this to your advantage.
Notice the small details, because this will help you relate better and connect on a deeper level with the people that you meet. Skill number four, genuine follow up. Remember that introverts often excel in maintaining relationships because they care about the details. Your [00:08:00] ability to remember specific things about people, like a personal story they shared or a project they may have mentioned, that's what sets you apart.
It actually makes your follow up far more genuine and effective than a generic, so nice to meet you last night, kind of email. And the final skill that you have is that you build trust over time. Introverts don't rush relationships. You're not trying to pitch or sell yourself right off the bat, are you?
Instead, you build trust over time, which is so much more sustainable in the long run. Networking at its core is about building relationships, and that is where introverts truly shine. So now that we've highlighted those, those five superpowers, what I want to talk about now is some practical ways to network as an introvert.
When I first started out, I used to absolutely dread networking events. Like [00:09:00] seriously, I would get the same anxiety that I imagine many of you may have. But you see, then I realized I didn't have to play by the same rules. I started going to these events with a brand new plan. I would pick just three people.
That's it. Instead of trying to meet 30 people in an evening, I would focus on three meaningful conversations. And this changed everything for me. Because those three connections turned into long term relationships. They led to new opportunities, new collaborations, and so much more. And I wasn't exhausted by the end of the event.
More importantly, I had something really real to show for it. So, how can you start networking as an introvert? Well, first off, I want you to consider ditching the idea that you have to be everywhere. On me. Every one. One thing I've [00:10:00] found super effective is hosting your own small group events. And this is something that I've been speaking to a few of my elevate members and inner circle members over the last couple of months, particularly in this, quite challenging business climate.
I said to them, why don't you start hosting your own? Small group event. This could be a dinner party, or it could be a virtual coffee catch up, or a small catch up over coffee. These kind of environments are much more conducive to introverted strengths. You'll feel more comfortable and in control, and the relationships will deepen as the conversations will naturally flow deeper.
Now I talk about this in my book, It's Who You Know, that your network has the opportunity to become your net worth, but it doesn't need to be built at big conferences or crowded events. Your network can grow one coffee at a time, one [00:11:00] conversation at a time, one thoughtful email at a time. Remember, it's about quality, not quantity.
Here's another tip. Don't think that you have to say yes to every event. Yep, I'm giving you permission. Permission granted to say no. When you need to be strategic, choose the ones, the events, Situations that align to your goals, to your energy, and to your style. Try and embrace a little bit of the joy of missing out the jomo versus wallowing in the fomo, the, the fear of missing out.
This is about embracing your natural style. Remember, it's not about the size of your network. It's about the depth of your relationships, and you as an introvert are naturally wired to create deep, meaningful connections, so embrace that. And finally, I want to bust that [00:12:00] biggest myth of all, that you need to be extroverted to be a successful networker.
You don't! You need to be you, and the best version of you. The listener, the observer, the compassionate, the deep thinker. Own your strengths. Lean into what makes you so uniquely you and let your connections grow organically from there. Don't force yourself into situations that drain you.
Instead, own that beautiful introverted energy that is so uniquely you. And whether this is about attending fewer events, but choosing them wisely, or focusing on one on one connections, the key is play to your strengths. don't forget. It's okay to take breaks. After all, networking as an introvert doesn't mean you have to be on all the time.
It's about being [00:13:00] strategic. So introverts, I challenge you to own your quiet power. Take the pressure off yourself to be the loudest voice in the room. And instead focus on being the most intentional, the most thoughtful and the most authentic. Whether you're building a business, climbing the corporate ladder, or simply looking to expand your circle, remember this, your introverted strengths are not weaknesses, they are your superpowers.
Thank you so much for joining me today. I hope this has inspired you to really think about networking in a brand new light. One that works for you, not against you. And hey, if you've got any stories or tips about how you've turned networking into something you actually enjoy, I'd love to hear them, so please reach out, share your experiences and let's keep this conversation going.
And if you want more [00:14:00] tips, try and get yourself a copy of my bestselling book, It's Who You Know, which is available online and at all leading booksellers. Until next time, introverts and extroverts alike. We love all of you and every single one of you. Please keep unleashing your brilliance. Until next week.