Hello, beautiful people. Welcome back to another episode of Unlearn with Bianca. On this podcast, we explore everything around self healing, health, personal growth, mind body connection, relationships, and more. Each of these episodes are here to inspire you, to educate you, to challenge you, so that you can deepen the connection you have with yourself. Hey friends, I hope everybody is going good. I cannot. believe it is, there is less than a week until December. I am tripping out.
So, I am a bit late with this episode because work has been a priority this week, but I'm happy to be back into it today. And we are going to be talking about creating space and why it is important when it comes to our nervous system health. And when I say creating space, I'm really just referring to room, whether it be mentally, physically, in your environment, all of these things I'll cover. Why this is important is because we cannot interject into a world that we cannot see.
Meaning if we are really busy, and I know most of us are these days, unless we are making active choices to create space, it's very easy to get caught up in autopilot and feel really overwhelmed. And when we're in that state of overwhelm, which is often chronic survival states, fight or flight, it's We can feel like we're always on the back foot, we feel less influential in our life, and then we feel like we lack control.
And this is where it can become a bit of a a cycle that it's a bit hard to get out of. I did a post on Instagram a few days ago about how the nervous system is continuously coding input, whether it be internal input or external input. It's always coding our environment for either safety or threats. And when we are overstimulated, when there feels like there's a lot of clutter, a lot of noise, constant demands, we get stuck in this threat response.
So space can really provide us with a buffer and a sense of control, which helps us access that safety. It also helps us return to a more regulated, rested state, which is where the body can heal, which is where we have recovery and we can self reflect. And one more brain fact for you guys, space also supports neuroplasticity, which is that brain's ability to be retrained because we need downtime for this. We need time and space for the brain to rewire itself and integrate new learnings.
so there's this quote that, again, going to attempt it, you guys have probably picked up by now, I'm not very good at remembering specific quotes, but it's something along the lines of like, the way you do one thing is the way you do everything, and how I kind of take that is that, What happens in one area of our life will really reflect into another area of our life. And that can be both positively or negatively.
You know, if we are eating good, if we're exercising, then we know that our mental health will also improve because we will be feeling on top of our game. So as I go through this episode, I'm going to give you it. Different categories of space and how to create space. And I just want you to focus in on one thing, or if you want to do a bit more, one category. Because if you can start somewhere, just trust and know that it will have a positive impact on every other you.
Area in your life because everything is interconnected and the worst thing we can do when we're already feeling overwhelmed is try and do everything at once. So pick one thing or pick just a few things within a category and focus. on that. So the first thing I want to talk about here is our physical environment and how to create space within that. So I have a bit of a secret that I'm a bit embarrassed to share with you guys. I am naturally not the tidiest person.
It has taken me a while to find ways That helped me create tidy spaces and tidy spaces are really important because they have been shown to reduce a cognitive load, which is the mental effort required to process information. So we know that clutter is a form of environmental stressor that demands our attention and it can wear down our energy. So the first thing I want to say on creating space is where can you go through and tidy and clean your spaces. Get that feng shui happening.
One thing that I am grateful for in my life is my ability to let go of material things. Because, I have actually lived in about, honestly, I'd say like 25 houses in my 32 years. Growing up, my parents used to buy houses and sell houses and build houses. And then I've been flatting, I've lived overseas. I've lived in so many places. And where that has really benefited me is that I've realized that things are things, you know, often we actually don't need as much as we hold on to.
And it is so freeing when you can get rid of shit that you just don't use. It frees up so much space. So I encourage you to go through your clothes, go through your belongings And just get rid of stuff that you haven't used in a while. If you feel like you can't quite part with something and you don't want to throw something out, something that's really helped me over the years is boxing things up that I'm not sure about and putting the box away, like storing it in the garage or something.
Knowing that if I really wanted that thing, I could go back and find it. And on the back of that, the thing is is that clothes, material items, They carry an energy. So I talk about this to my lightning process clients. If somebody has been having fatigue for a period of years or a period of depression, and you know, they go on, they go to put on their, their same clothes. They can't be clothes every day.
When you are trying to make change and signal a new identity to your brain, one of the most powerful things you can do is actually to get rid of something That represents the old identity. So get rid of the clothes and just notice how much lighter you feel. Something I did recently was go through all my toiletries, all my old makeup and got rid of a whole lot of stuff there.
And another way of creating space in our environment, A ritual of going around and cutting off dead leaves of plants, indoor plants, and giving them a really good water just to bring in that sense of renewal, keep everything in check, is really powerful in that environment And I would say if you're listening to this and you're like, yep My physical environment needs some work.
I need to create some space In this area, I would encourage you to start on the thing that you've been putting off the most. For example, in my case, it's my car. I just have a block around cleaning my car, because I'm not really a car girl. Just, you know, it gets me from A to B. But today I did it actually, because I was about to record this episode. It reminded me to actually do it. Pick the thing that you've been putting off the most and seek that commitment to yourself.
If it's moving around furniture, do that. If it's having a spring clean, do that. If it's a particular area of your house, get into it. And you will feel a lot better for it. So the next category that is really important when it comes to creating space is space around technology and digital devices.
So, this really comes down to digital boundaries, because when we have boundaries around how we're consuming things, as I talked on in the last podcast, it creates so much more space for our brain, and it creates so much time for our nervous systems to dip into a rested state. If we are constantly. overstimulated, there is going to be no space.
And there is such an issue here because the more we get that dopamine hit through social media or apps or whatever we're doing, the more we want to do it and the more our nervous system gets conditioned to be looking for that hit.
So this is one that I have recently really Prioritize just having those digital boundaries, um, making sure that you are creating some space before you go to sleep and turning your phone off or at least not like sitting on your phone all night and doing the same in the morning because these are the times when our subconscious mind is really Thank you.
Operating and we're very suggestible., Some other things that have really helped me create space that have made me feel so accomplished is deleting all of those photos that have been sitting on my phone that I don't look at. And it's the same with emails. If you're someone like me who gets a lot of emails and they pile up pretty quickly and then you've got that big 4970 emails.
sitting on your phone background, um, that might be a good idea to go in and have a bit of a declutter and get sorting through. So something that I found really beneficial, and I do it twice a year, is I go onto this website called Unroll Me, and I can probably put it in the show notes, but basically. You put in your email address and it brings up a whole list of all of the different things that you've subscribed to. And what you can do is unsubscribe just all in one.
So you can go through and decide what emails you want to receive and what you want to unsubscribe from. but it's super, super fast and it's saved me from receiving many emails that I no longer wanted to receive. Tidying up your apps as well. Just have maybe like one or two days every six months or every three to four months where you can do this. Where you can go through and do this digital cleans, deleting the apps that you do not use anymore? That maybe you had to download for one thing.
And it's just kind of hanging out there. Delete those apps. And clear some space so your brain is not having to constantly search through everything to get somewhere. I have also decided to turn off notifications for a lot of my apps. Which helps with less stimulation. And recently I had this conversation with someone who said that the best thing that they had done was set their display screen as just plain black or plain white.
Again, to minimize, um, all the noise that can be on the back of our phone. I personally like having affirmations or a vision board or just simple photos, but you know, it's something that I thought, Oh, that's That actually makes a lot of sense. Another thing that can create a lot of space is going through and tidying up your notes. If you use notes or to do lists on your phone.
I am someone who just takes random notes all the time and half the time I go into them and I Don't even know what they're all about. So I spend a lot of time actually every week sitting down, going through them, looking at where they need to go, what I need to do with that note so that nothing ends up piling up too much. And one more thing I think we need to be really mindful of when it comes to. The digital space is over consuming information.
It's something that I've been really thinking about as somebody who loves to consume podcasts, who loves to read, who loves learning. There is so much information out there and I'm sure all of you have had that experience when you've come back in from nature or some time away where you haven't you haven't been able to connect to the internet or anything like that and you just feel like a different person, right? It's the same with this overload of information.
Even though we can be doing something really healthy for us, like walking, like being in nature, I really encourage you to sometimes do it without the noise in the background. So I often listen to podcasts on my walk, but recently I have challenged myself and I've decided that every second walk I will do with no input.
Meaning I will just walk and I will, be with myself rather than consuming information on days especially where I'm already busy and I'm already on the go and my walk is just my little break. It's the same with if we're driving. Perhaps it's about changing the music you're listening to. I personally wouldn't want to be driving in complete silence, but maybe instead of educating yourself through a podcast every day, you could be putting on some nice relaxing music.
In the background, if you've had a big day. So it's little things like this that can really give a nervous system some space. It's just changing up what we currently do and getting flexible with it as well. Because sometimes we can handle more information. You know, sometimes we can handle more screen time, but it's about getting curious and really thinking about those times where it might not be so suitable. And you might need a different approach.
Okay, so now I want to get into some things for our mind and body that we can do that really create space and positively impact our nervous system state. So the first one is more body based and that is stretching and facial massage. You can YouTube these, there are so many videos that you'll find on YouTube for 10 minute stretches or facial massages. But it's really about creating more space and fluidity in our body because As I've said before, the mind and body are deeply connected.
So if we can create more space in our physical body, if we make space in our physical body, we are going to feel mentally more spacious. We are going to feel mentally more flexible and adaptable. And if you've got one of those lingering, I wouldn't even call them health issues, but lingering things, like maybe a postural issue, maybe an achy back, maybe it's something that you've been wanting to get sorted for a while.
For example, for me, I've noticed I've got a bit of a pelvic tilt, so what I prioritize doing is going to the pelvic physiotherapist. I'm now getting some acupuncture, and it's not something that was a pressing issue, but I know how important it is for our body to be in alignment for our nervous system health. So, that is why I'm saying this extra point. Stretching is really important. Creating space in our body. But if there's that thing that's just sort of been on the back burner.
Go get it checked. Go and take steps towards getting yourself back into alignment and getting support with your physical body. Diaphragmatic breathing is the next one. It can be as simple as a box breath, four breaths in, holding for four, releasing for four, and then pausing for four. And just becoming aware of your breath throughout the day. Our breath is probably the fastest way that we can create that space within our body.
And what has really helped me over the years is just getting curious. To be honest, getting curious and becoming more aware of where I hold tension in my body, especially when I'm overwhelmed. For me, it is my jaw, it's my left shoulder, and my pelvic floor, especially on the left side. So I'm very aware of where these areas are. And why this awareness is good is because I, if I find myself tight and with tension, I can breathe into these areas. I can do specific release exercises.
And again, it just comes back to that space and even more so that When we're creating space, these are cues of safety for our nervous system, which can keep us rested and able to move through the day more easily. The next one on my list is solo time. I'm always an advocate for finding some solo time and I know everybody has different lives, different commitments, different responsibilities, but I truly think it is essential to block time out.
For ourselves, even if it's five to 10 minutes in the day. And why I think this is so important is because pausing from constant interaction allows the nervous system to process and integrate experiences. And further than that, if we get more time to ourself, we can really start to reflect on what is working for us, what is not working so much. So this can be Simply reflecting on your day, it can be getting up in the morning and saying what you're grateful for.
It can be taking a lunch break by yourself. It doesn't really matter what you're doing. I just think it's so important to have moments of solo time. It is also so healthy for us to learn how to be comfortable in our own space with ourselves so that we're sourcing that safety from within. So if you're someone who doesn't usually make time To be by yourself due to commitments, or you feel uncomfortable about doing it, I encourage you to time block.
Just start really small, put something in that you'll find enjoyable. Because this is space. for yourself and your thoughts. If you want to do something more structured, it can be meditation or mindfulness. My favorite meditation app is something called Insight Timer because there's guided meditations and I think sometimes the less we have to think about it, we can kind of click and just do something on the spot, the more likely we are to do things.
So Insight Timer has some really good guidance. Meditations, short meditations. If you are looking for something like that, Something else that you can do to really create space is a mind dump. Pen to paper. So we could call it journaling, but really for me what works and creates the most space is almost like a stream of consciousness. I usually do it in the morning.
I just call it like a brain dump, and I, it's when I'm feeling, especially when I'm feeling overwhelmed and really fuzzy and like I've just got a thousand tabs open. Um, I just, I just start writing. I actually do this on my computer, but you can do this pen to paper as well. And I just start writing whatever's on my mind. And I often will go into like positives, not so positives where I'm getting stuck, like to do list everything. And I just get it out of my head.
And then from there I can play around a little bit. And if I need to go over it again. Reorganize this information or these thoughts. I can do that from there, but almost like a brain dump. I think it's really healthy because it allows us to let go. There's nothing structured about it. And again, it's just taking it from one space and putting it into another where it is further away from our mind.
So that is something that if you're not used to doing, it could feel a little bit challenging, but it does get a lot easier. For others, um, and I go through periods of this as well, something more structured can be really beneficial, even if it's just reflecting on the day or the day ahead. Questions like. What went well today? What are you looking forward to today? Um, where is there an opportunity to learn today? How would you do things differently tomorrow?
These just sort of reflective questions can also help us leave the day behind or start a new day fresh and give this nervous system the sense of closing the loop, closure and organization, which again can help us exist. A few other ways we can create space in the mind and body is looking at all of those commitments or payments that are coming up for something, um, the gym membership you're not using, all of these things that have again been on the back burner.
I've been meaning to get around to that. I've been meaning to do that and actually taking some time to close them or commit to them, you know, not this gray area where you're paying for something you're not going. Or you keep rescheduling a friend. It's about, again, closing the loops. That can be really, really good for us because it means clarity, it means less mental clutter, it means less brain energy that is going on in the background, and more space.
Just more space to think, or choose to do something different. And finally in this category, one more, which is expressing our emotions. I I've spoken on this before, but really it comes down to making space to feel how we feel without judgment. And That can be mentally or physically. Like if we're feeling really tight in our body, it might be like, I'm going to make space to shake it out, put on some really loud music and shake it out.
Or I'm going to start my day with, with a dance and really just let myself go and dance in front of the mirror. That can be a way of expressing if we're feeling tense in our body. If it's more emotions and mental stress, it could be making space to grieve or to process sadness. So for me personally, I don't know if I've ever seen this on the podcast, but if I'm feeling really irritable and I can just feel it is grief underneath the surface, I often will. I have a ritual I'll put on.
Particular songs, create some space for me, some safety with me, for me, in my own space, and I will let the tears come. I will let myself feel how I need to feel or journal or do whatever I need to do. But it's about actually acknowledging, This is how I feel. I need to just create a window of time for this, to pass this through. And on the other side, I always feel so much better.
So if we don't give ourselves space to feel how we're going to feel and make the space, it ends up impacting us at a nervous system level. Anger is another huge one. In self sourced, the group coaching program, I recently finished. I gave a few exercises to help us move through anger, releases, using a pillow. There's a lot of things we can do. So if you're resonating to this one, I'll be running self sourced again, um, in February.
And actually one more I want to talk on today is rituals that really signal to your nervous system that a transition is happening. And this provides a sense of control and intention And that fosters safety back into the nervous system. So for example, you come home from a big day at work and your ritual is, I'm going to get straight out of my work clothes, have a shower. And then that is what signifies I'm now leaving my work shirt at work and moving into my evening.
For me, because I spend a lot of time working from home, I have become more aware that I need to change out of clothes that I wear during the day and into something different at night. And I light a candle at night to signify this is evening. I am going to do my best to leave work here for tomorrow. So it's about those little things that we can do, especially if you're somebody who She is space between work, you know, home. It's all, it's a bit fluid.
I think these transition rituals can be really powerful and it's about creating that mental space and not carrying mentally being burdened with all that stuff earlier in the day into the next part of our day which can be quite common if we're not actually making the space. To break that pattern.
So as we start to wrap up this episode, I really just want to circle back to the start and remind you that just by picking one of these things to focus on or one category to keep in the back of your mind, you can really influence other areas of your life because Everything's always interconnected. So if we're focusing on our environment, it's going to have a positive impact on our mental health. If we focus on our physical health, it's going to have a positive impact on our mental health.
You get what I'm trying to say here. All of the things I've talked on today really promote relaxation and space. That gives us back our sense of influence and control, which is really important, especially if we're dealing with overwhelm. I hope you guys enjoyed today's episode. It has been a quick one. I've got a really good episode coming next week or the following week on relationships and I can't wait to share that with you guys.
As I'm wrapping up this year I've got limited space left for my lightning process trainings. I have finished my group trainings for the year but I have two spaces left for one to one trainings, online trainings for the lightning process. So if you are listening and you need support with a chronic illness or want to learn some really powerful tools to retrain your brain and your nervous system towards health and happiness. I would love to support you. I hope you all have a beautiful week.
And if you've got your eye on those black Friday sales, Don't go over consuming. It's a message for me as well. We need least stuff, not more stuff. Anyway, have a beautiful week and I look forward to seeing you on the next episode.