Over the years, as I engaged in various forms of group exercise, I’ve collected some helpful tips from many fitness instructors. I’ve been able to narrow some of these ideas into an acronym that may help you formationally. Many of the same principles that grow us physically can also be translated into our formational inner work. So let’s take a look at ARC: Ability, Rhythm and Core. ABILITY - Start where you are. RHYTHM - Engage healthy rhythms. CORE - Let your believing become knowing through p...
Jul 04, 2022•7 min
What would it look like for you to slow down your inner pace as you converse with someone else? Here are five ways you can practice being present and listening to another person: Begin to quiet your mind as you listen. We all have distractions, but begin to practice setting aside your own inner whirlwind for a bit. Let the life of the person in front of you come to center stage. Quiet your own mind and tune in to what they are saying. Be at rest in their presence. Let God’s love for the person e...
Jun 27, 2022•7 min
"How are you suffering?" Doesn’t this sound like a fun episode? However, it won’t take long to realize, and agree, there has been a lot of suffering in the last few years. A global pandemic. I’ve lost two friends to it, and I’m pretty sure I’ve lost two months of my life fighting COVID19 two different times. There’s been so much pain. Social conflict. Political polarization. Racial pain. Vocational isolation or overwhelm. This episode addresses these truths in a conversation I have with friends ...
Jun 27, 2022•42 min•Ep. 219
"So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ’s body, let’s just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren’t." (Romans 12:5, MSG) "Love one another from the center of who you are…" (Romans 12:9, MSG) I now often use these verses as I prepare I speak to a group. I remind myself to embrace and to be who I am, without quali...
Jun 20, 2022•6 min
In this week's episode, we share a recent conversation Alan had with James Bryan Smith about his latest book, The Good and Beautiful You . In it, he talks about who we really are in God. How has God created us to flourish? What does it look like to be fully alive inside? How do we discover the person Jesus created us to be? We think you’re going to find this episode really helpful in answering questions like these. A few years ago, Alan and Gem wrote their book on the soul titled What Does Your ...
Jun 20, 2022•37 min•Ep. 218
In our book, What Does Your Soul Love?, I shared the story of how I was learning photography at the same time as I was in the midst of a dark night of the soul. At the time, and to this day, I carry within me the principles and metaphors of photography as a paradigm for my life. There are many connections here between photography, presence and perspective. I’d like to share three with you now. 1. Look for the light. 2. Remember the rule of three. 3. Choose where to focus. Listen to today's I Can...
Jun 13, 2022•7 min
I’ve been a spiritual director and coach for many women over many years. There are common themes that have arisen in that time. One prevalent theme I bump into over and over is this: Women tend to think there is something wrong with them if they are not progressing quickly through their current situation. Whether it’s a difficult work situation, a troubled relational issue, a period of extended grief, or any formational dynamic, most are convinced that quickly is the only reasonable and ...
Jun 06, 2022•6 min
As a person of influence, you may be tempted to move ahead more quickly than your people can move. Be sure they sense you are with them in their journey, that you aren’t trying to drag them forward at your pace. If you are accompanying someone on their journey right now, notice if you are allowing them the dignity to set their own pace. Are there any adjustments you need to make as you accompany them? Relationship is more important than achievement. And, if you find yourself on the receiving end...
May 30, 2022•5 min
Often, when I talk about Unhurried Time with God, I offer that the reason we do it is because Jesus himself did it. Jesus often withdrew to lonely places to pray. He got in touch with the Father so he could find out what to do, and more importantly, who he was. Jesus said that the works he did were the Father’s works and the words he spoke were the Father’s words. How else did he know what to do and say except for time spent in God’s presence? Wouldn’t it be great for someone to look at your lif...
May 23, 2022•5 min
A few of our deepest needs are to be seen, known and heard. Some of us can share our hidden spaces directly with God. Others may need to make their way to God with the help of trusted friends, spiritual directors, coaches or counselors. Either way is beautiful because it means you are becoming more whole. So…show it all to God. Tell it like it is. It’s already happening and God knows about it. You are not hiding just because you have your hands over your eyes. That toddler game of peek-a-boo is ...
May 16, 2022•5 min
“Unnatural, frantic, anxious work, work done under pressure of greed or fear or any other inordinate passion, cannot properly speaking be dedicated to God, because God never wills such work directly.” (Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, p. 19) These words are a direct blow to my anxiety. Frantic work is never God’s invitation. Simply being reminded of this can be enough to quell the low hum of anxiety. If I know anything about myself it’s this: I want all that I do to be dedicated to God...
May 09, 2022•6 min
Wherever I go, do I act as though I should be there or am I held back by self-doubt? Do I enter with holy confidence or am I hamstrung by fear? Do I engage with assured presence or am I pressed down by anxiety? What if a “Beloved child of God” ticket was in my hand and I could use it at will. Like an eternal park hopper pass at Disneyland. Or like a never-ending entrance to the Cathedral in Florence. Of course, I don’t need to wonder—because I am a beloved child of God. Jesus assures me of this....
May 02, 2022•5 min
“What is most real to you?” There are a lot of ways that the idea of “truth” is talked about these days. There are those who view truth primarily as a philosophical or doctrinal category to be understood and perhaps defended. There are those who talk about “my truth” as a way of describing their personal perspectives or views. This week on Unhurried Living Podcast, Alan talks with friends and pastors on this topic of truth as a kind of lived honesty. This conversation stems from a chapter in Ala...
Apr 25, 2022•51 min•Ep. 217
Over the years I have grown tired of my own inner dialogue—whether I am doing the right things, being the right things, saying the right things, accomplishing the right things. And not simply in regard to my outer work life but also my inner spiritual life. I have worn myself out with shoulds and ought-tos. What my heart truly seeks is peace. What it truly seeks is love. My simple, sighing prayer is, “I just want to be in Your love.” Might that be your prayer too? How does your heart long for Go...
Apr 25, 2022•9 min
God is saying that even if a mother were to forget her children (which she won’t), God will never forget us. God is doubling down on how much he wants us to know that he will never withhold his love for us. God’s compassion is sure and you will not be forgotten. This is important for us to hold onto as we continue to make our way through our lives. Life is difficult enough, let alone the last couple of years with the added strain of the pandemic. The weight has been, at time, unbearable for many...
Apr 18, 2022•7 min
The pace of grace, that’s the key theme in today’s episode of Unhurried Living Podcast. One of my mentors was fond of saying that just as truly as we are saved by grace, so we live by grace, serve by grace and lead by grace. Grace is not merely a doorway through which I enter into the life of the kingdom. Grace is the pathway on which I walk every step of my life. Grace is not some kingdom commodity that God guarantees me. It is his very way of interacting with us with generous, joyful love. God...
Apr 18, 2022•36 min•Ep. 216
If you are in deep pain and are waiting in the process, Holy Saturday is the day on the church calendar when you are deeply, lovingly acknowledged. Waiting is real. The loss is real. The disciples did not know about the resurrection to come the next day. They only knew their grief and loss. We are here and now. We know how the story continues. Resurrection did come. But today we will sit in the unknowing, the loss, the confusion. Let yourself be seen in this place. Give yourself permission to gr...
Apr 11, 2022•13 min
“Where are you hiding?” Our habit of hiding goes back to the beginning of creation. Eve eats forbidden fruit. Adam joins her. They become self-conscious, perhaps even self-focused. And so when they sense God drawing near, instead of drawing near like they’ve always done before, they hide. We do the same thing. We imagine that it is better to hide our messes from God rather than to bring them into the presence of mercy and grace. But it’s no better than a branch thinking it good to detach from th...
Apr 11, 2022•43 min•Ep. 215
Today I'm chatting with Curt Thompson, MD about his latest book The Soul of Desire . I found so many intersections with what Gem and I have been learning in our journey towards wholeness and vitality in our life in God. In this book, Curt talks about the place of desire in our lives, how desire can sometimes get hijacked, but how desire can be a holy motive and energy that moves us toward the beautiful life of God he has always intended for us. Curt Thompson is a board-certified psychiatrist, fo...
Apr 04, 2022•52 min•Ep. 214
I wonder if you, like me, had a small handful of childhood dreams. It might time to reflect back on them. See if you can uncover your heart’s desire inside a child’s wish. You may just find your next steps in the hands of your inner child. Tucked within may be keys to how you might want to express yourself even now. Here’s your “I Can Do That!” for this week: Take a few minutes this week to reflect on your childhood career choices, or even just any memories you have of childhood dreams. Notice i...
Apr 04, 2022•6 min
Do you ever feel overwhelmed by your life? Do you ever feel like you’re under a pile and there is no way to dig out? At this point, these are silly questions because we’ve been under a lot of strain the last couple of years. Many people feel pushed beyond their limits. I’ve noticed that my own negative thoughts and expectations can add another layer of weight when things aren’t going well. I burden my already heavy heart with should’s and self-judgments. This is easy to slide into when we are si...
Mar 28, 2022•6 min
Today, Alan shares a recent conversation with his wife and partner in Unhurried Living, Gem , and their friend Matt Fogle , about the chapter on “Resistance” in What Does Your Soul Love ? The key question that frames that chapter is, “What is getting in your way?” We’re tempted that the main things that get in our way are out there somewhere. We assume that if other people were more cooperative, things would be dramatically better for us. But so often the main things that get in our own way actu...
Mar 28, 2022•45 min•Ep. 213
Your first tooth… Your first day of kindergarten… Your first car… Your first kiss… Your first home. Life is full of firsts. We spend our lifetime taking first steps that lead to growing up and maturing into functioning adults. Along the way, our souls are taking first steps as well. The first time we heard about God. The first time we heard the name of Jesus. The first time we saw an answer to prayer. The first time we acted on His behalf, in the care of another. And, yes, the first time it all ...
Mar 21, 2022•7 min
Today, I’m sharing a conversation I had a while back with Mark Scandrette about his book, The Ninefold Path of Jesus . In it, he shares his experience of seeking to live more deeply and faithfully into the nine beatitudes that begin what some call Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount. In his book, Mark shares a beautiful vision of what it might look like if we practiced the beatitudes as a way of following Jesus more closely and faithfully. I love how Mark casts a vision for the kind of life Jesus conside...
Mar 21, 2022•40 min•Ep. 212
When was the last time you had a leisurely conversation? Do you find yourself talking fast, and cutting people short so that you can get on with whatever you were doing? It’s not your fault, it’s in the cultural air we breathe. We may assume that others are busy and we are likely in their way. Or we think the same about ourselves: I don’t have time for this! Most people these days don’t have someone who just simply listens to them. Many are over-connected on tech gadgets and yet are starving rel...
Mar 14, 2022•6 min
“What do you really want?” It’s a deceptively simple question, but the longer we live with it the more we realize we want so many different things at so many different levels to so many different degrees. It’s actually a genius question to surface that it is that our soul actually wants. This week Alan is sinking in deeper on a chapter of his and Gem 's book, What Does Your Soul Love? Eight Questions That Reveal God’s Work in You . The chapter is on Desire and the question that lies at the heart...
Mar 14, 2022•40 min•Ep. 211
Hebrews 11:1 says, “The fundamental fact of existence is that this trust in God, this faith, is the firm foundation under everything that makes life worth living.” So, if you are in a place of ongoing inner healing: How might you honor and respect where you are? What does waiting look like for you in this season? What are some ways your “faith roots” can sink even deeper into God in the midst? And, if you are walking alongside someone else who is in a place of ongoing inner healing: How might yo...
Mar 07, 2022•7 min
In this week’s episode of the Unhurried Living podcast, I’m talking with Mike MacKenzie from Marble Retreat in Colorado about the issues that lie under our issues. He’s written a book called Don’t Blow Up Your Ministry that highlights how we sometimes think that if only we could solve our tiredness or our struggles with temptation we’d be all set, when in fact there are often deeper issues that are draining us or making us more vulnerable. For example, Mike shares that a lot of us in Christian l...
Mar 07, 2022•35 min•Ep. 210
This week, the Unhurried Living Podcast begins an occasional series based on the book Gem and Alan wrote two years ago: " What Does Your Soul Love? Eight Questions That Reveal God’s Work in You ". This important book, at its heart, is a basic assumption that Gem and Alan have lived with for decades... God invites us to change over our lifetimes. Biblical language for this change is “being transformed.” ** God is seeking to transform our more selfish tendencies into more loving and selfless ones....
Feb 28, 2022•39 min•Ep. 209
One of my favorite Dallas Willard quotes is this: “The path of spiritual growth in the riches of Christ is not a passive one. Grace is not opposed to effort. It is opposed to earning. Effort is action. Earning is attitude. You have never seen people more active than those who have been set on fire by the grace of God.” (CHRISTIAN HERALD (U.K.) 14 APRIL 2001.) That’s good stuff, isn’t it? People often mistake an unhurried life as one of shorter to do lists and greater passivity. That is absolutel...
Feb 28, 2022•8 min
